TEDxSydney
Megan Washington: Why I live in mortal dread of public speaking
Megan Washington: Zašto živim u smrtnom strahu od javnog govora
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Megan Washington je jedna od Australskih najboljih pjevačica/tekstopisaca. I, od djetinjstva, ona muca. U ovom hrabrom i osobnom govoru, otkriva kako se nosi sa svojom govornom manom—od izbjegavanja kombinacije slova "st" do varanja mozga mjenjajući riječi u zadnjem trenu do, da, pjevanja stvari koje želi reći rađe nego da ih izgovara.
Megan Washington - Musician
Megan Washington has won two ARIA Awards, the Australian equivalent of the Grammys. A popular singer/songwriter, she has recently come clean with a secret—that she has a speech impediment. Full bio
Megan Washington has won two ARIA Awards, the Australian equivalent of the Grammys. A popular singer/songwriter, she has recently come clean with a secret—that she has a speech impediment. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:12
I didn't know when I agreed to do this
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Kada sam pristala na ovo, nisam znala
00:16
whether I was expected to talk or to sing.
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očekuje li se od mene
da govorim ili da pjevam.
da govorim ili da pjevam.
00:22
But when I was told that the topic was language,
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Ali kad su mi rekli da je tema jezik,
00:27
I felt that I had to speak about something for a moment.
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shvatila sam da moram govoriti
o nečemu, barem na kratko.
o nečemu, barem na kratko.
00:32
I have a problem.
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Imam problem.
00:36
It's not the worst thing in the world.
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Nije to najgora stvar na svijetu.
00:38
I'm fine.
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Dobro sam.
00:39
I'm not on fire.
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Nisam se zapalila.
00:41
I know that other people in the world
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Znam da se neki drugi ljudi u svijetu
00:43
have far worse things to deal with,
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moraju nositi s mnogo gorim stvarima,
00:47
but for me, language and music are
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ali za mene su jezik i glazba
00:53
inextricably linked through this one thing.
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nerazdvojivo vezani u toj jednoj stvari.
00:57
And the thing is that I have a stutter.
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Stvar je u tome što mucam.
01:05
It might seem curious given that I spend
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Možda vam se to čini zanimljivim
s obzirom da provodim
s obzirom da provodim
01:08
a lot of my life on the stage.
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veliki dio svog života na pozornici.
01:11
One would assume that I'm comfortable
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Netko bi pretpostavio da mi je ugodno
01:14
in the public sphere and comfortable here,
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u javnoj sferi i ugodno ovdje,
01:17
speaking to you guys.
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pričajući s vama.
01:19
But the truth is that I've spent
my life up until this point
my life up until this point
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Ali istina je ta da sam
život do ovog trena,
život do ovog trena,
01:24
and including this point, living in mortal dread
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i u ovom trenu, provela živeći u smrtnom strahu
01:28
of public speaking.
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od javnog govora.
01:32
Public singing, whole different thing. (Laughter)
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Javno pjevanje, skroz druga stvar.
(Smijeh)
(Smijeh)
01:36
But we'll get to that in a moment.
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Ali do toga ćemo doći za trenutak.
01:40
I've never really talked about it before so explicitly.
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Nikad prije zapravo nisam pričala
o tome tako otvoreno.
Mislim da je to zato
što sam uvijek živjela u nadi
što sam uvijek živjela u nadi
01:46
I think that that's because I've always lived in hope
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01:48
that when I was a grown-up,
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da kad budem odrasla,
01:51
I wouldn't have one.
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neću imati taj strah.
01:57
I sort of lived with this idea that when I'm grown,
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Živjela sam zamišljajući da ću
kada odrastem,
kada odrastem,
02:00
I'll have learned to speak French,
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naučiti pričati francuski,
02:03
and when I'm grown, I'll learn
how to manage my money,
how to manage my money,
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i kad narastem, znat ću upravljati novcem,
02:07
and when I'm grown, I won't have a stutter,
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i kada narastem, neću mucati,
02:09
and then I'll be able to public speak
and maybe be the prime minister
and maybe be the prime minister
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i onda ću moći pričati u javnosti
i možda biti premijer
02:11
and anything's possible and, you know.
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i sve je moguće, znate.
02:15
(Laughter)
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(Smijeh)
02:18
So I can talk about it now
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Tako da o tome mogu sada pričati
02:21
because I've reached this point, where —
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jer sam dosegla ovu točku, gdje —
02:25
I mean, I'm 28.
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mislim, imam 28 godina.
02:29
I'm pretty sure that I'm grown now.
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Sigurna sam da sam sad odrasla.
02:31
(Laughter)
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(Smijeh)
02:33
And I'm an adult woman
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I odrasla sam žena
02:35
who spends her life as a performer,
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koja provodi vrijeme kao izvođač,
02:39
with a speech impediment.
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s govornom manom.
02:42
So, I might as well come clean about it.
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Tako da mogu barem biti iskrena oko toga.
02:46
There are some interesting
angles to having a stutter.
angles to having a stutter.
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Postoje zanimljiva gledišta kada mucate.
02:50
For me, the worst thing that can happen
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Za mene, najgora stvar
koja se može dogoditi
koja se može dogoditi
02:54
is meeting another stutterer.
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je upoznati drugu osobu koja muca.
02:57
(Laughter)
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(Smijeh)
03:00
This happened to me in Hamburg, when
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To mi se dogodilo u Hamburgu,
kad je ovaj tip - upoznali smo se i
rekao je,
rekao je,
03:03
this guy, we met and he said,
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03:05
"Hello, m-m-m-my name is Joe,"
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"Zdravo, m-m-m-moje ime je Joe,"
03:09
and I said, "Oh, hello, m-m-m-my name is Meg."
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i ja kažem,
"O, zdravo, m-m-moje ime je Meg."
"O, zdravo, m-m-moje ime je Meg."
03:13
Imagine my horror when I realized
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Zamislite moj užas kad sam shvatila
da misli da ga ismijavam.
03:16
he thought I was making fun of him.
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03:18
(Laughter)
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(Smijeh)
03:24
People think I'm drunk all the time.
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Ljudi stalno misle da sam pijana.
03:29
(Laughter)
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(Smijeh)
03:32
People think that I've forgotten their name
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Ljudi misle da sam im zaboravila ime
03:36
when I hesitate before saying it.
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kad oklijevam prije nego ga kažem.
03:40
And it is a very weird thing, because
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I to je vrlo čudno,
jer vlastite imenice su najgore.
03:43
proper nouns are the worst.
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03:47
If I'm going to use the word
"Wednesday" in a sentence,
"Wednesday" in a sentence,
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Ako ću koristiti
riječ "srijeda" u rečenici,
riječ "srijeda" u rečenici,
03:51
and I'm coming up to the word,
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i dolazim do te riječi,
03:54
and I can feel that I'm going to stutter or something,
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i osjećam da ću zamucati ili nešto,
03:57
I can change the word to "tomorrow,"
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mogu promijeniti tu riječ u "sutra,"
04:00
or "the day after Tuesday,"
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ili "dan poslije utorka,"
04:02
or something else.
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ili nešto drugo.
04:04
It's clunky, but you can get away with it,
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Nezgodno je, ali možete se s tim izvući.
04:09
because over time I've developed this
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S vremenom sam razvila
zaobilaznu metodu korištenja govora
04:12
loophole method of using speech
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04:16
where right at the last minute you
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gdje sve do zadnjeg trena možete
promijeniti stvar i prevariti mozak.
04:19
change the thing and you trick your brain.
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04:24
But with people's names, you can't change them.
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Ali imena ljudi,
ne možete ih mijenjati.
ne možete ih mijenjati.
(Smijeh)
04:27
(Laughter)
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04:30
When I was singing a lot of jazz,
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Kad sam puno pjevala jazz,
04:33
I worked a lot with a pianist whose name was Steve.
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radila sam s puno pijanista
koji su se zvali Steve.
koji su se zvali Steve.
04:39
As you can probably gather,
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Vjerojatno možete zamisliti,
S i T, zajedno ili odvojeno,
04:41
S's and T's, together or independently,
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moj su kriptonit.
04:45
are my kryptonite.
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04:49
But I would have to introduce the band
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Ali, morala sam predstaviti bend
04:51
over this rolling vamp,
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tijekom uvodne glazbe,
04:54
and when I got around to Steve,
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i kad bih došla do Steve,
04:57
I'd often find myself stuck on the "St."
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često bih stala na "St."
05:03
And it was a bit awkward and uncomfortable
and it totally kills the vibe.
and it totally kills the vibe.
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Bilo je pomalo neugodno i nespretno
i to totalno ubije vibru.
i to totalno ubije vibru.
05:08
So after a few instances of this,
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Nakon nekoliko ovakvih slučajeva,
05:11
Steve happily became "Seve,"
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Steve je rado postao "Seve,"
05:16
and we got through it that way. (Laughter)
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i tako smo to svladali.
(Smijeh)
(Smijeh)
05:21
I've had a lot of therapy,
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Bila sam na puno terapija,
05:24
and a common form of treatment is to use
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i uobičajeni način tretiranja je
05:26
this technique that's called smooth speech,
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koristiti tehniku koja se zove
glatki govor,
glatki govor,
05:31
which is where you almost
sing everything that you say.
sing everything that you say.
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a to je kada gotovo
pjevate sve što govorite.
pjevate sve što govorite.
05:36
You kind of join everything together in this
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Nekako pridružite sve skupa na ovaj
05:39
very singsong, kindergarten teacher way,
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pjevni način, poput učiteljice u vrtiću,
05:43
and it makes you sound very serene,
like you've had lots of Valium,
like you've had lots of Valium,
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tako da zvučite vrlo smireno,
kao da ste uzeli puno Valiuma,
kao da ste uzeli puno Valiuma,
05:47
and everything is calm. (Laughter)
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i sve je mirno.
(Smijeh)
(Smijeh)
05:51
That's not actually me.
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To zapravo nisam ja.
05:54
And I do use that. I do.
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I koristim to. Koristim.
05:57
I use it when I have to be on panel shows,
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Činim to kad moram biti za govornicom,
ili kad moram dati intervju na radiju,
06:04
or when I have to do radio interviews,
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06:07
when the economy of airtime is paramount.
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kada je upravljanje
trajanjem programa najvažnije.
trajanjem programa najvažnije.
06:12
(Laughter)
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(Smijeh)
06:15
I get through it that way for my job.
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Tako to nadilazim zbog posla.
06:20
But as an artist who feels that their work
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Ali kao umjetnik koji osjeća da se njen rad
06:22
is based solely on a platform of honesty
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temelji samo na platformi iskrenosti
06:28
and being real,
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i stvarnosti,
06:32
that feels often like cheating.
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to se često čini kao varanje.
06:36
Which is why before I sing, I wanted to tell you
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Zbog toga, prije nego zapjevam,
želim vam reći što pjevanje za mene znači.
06:39
what singing means to me.
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Više je od pravljenja lijepih zvukova,
06:43
It's more than making nice sounds,
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06:47
and it's more than making nice songs.
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i više je od stvaranja lijepih pjesama.
06:52
It's more than feeling known, or understood.
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Više je od toga da se osjećate poznato,
ili da vas razumiju.
ili da vas razumiju.
06:58
It's more than making you feel the things that I feel.
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Više je od toga da
osjećate stvari koje ja osjećam.
osjećate stvari koje ja osjećam.
07:04
It's not about mythology,
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Ne radi se o mitologiji,
07:07
or mythologizing myself to you.
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ili mitologizaciji mene vama.
07:12
Somehow, through some miraculous
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Nekako, kroz neku čudesnu
07:17
synaptic function of the human brain,
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sinaptičku funkciju ljudskog mozga,
07:22
it's impossible to stutter when you sing.
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nemoguće je mucati kad pjevate.
07:27
And when I was younger,
that was a method of treatment
that was a method of treatment
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Kad sam bila mlađa,
to je bila metoda liječanja
to je bila metoda liječanja
koja je bila vrlo uspješna na meni,
07:31
that worked very well for me,
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07:33
singing, so I did it a lot.
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pjevanje, tako da sam puno pjevala.
07:39
And that's why I'm here today.
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I zato sam danas ovdje.
07:43
(Applause)
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(Pljesak)
07:48
Thank you.
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Hvala vam.
07:54
Singing for me is sweet relief.
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Pjevanje je za mene slatko olakšanje.
07:58
It is the only time when I feel fluent.
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To je jedini trenutak
kada se osjećam tečno.
kada se osjećam tečno.
08:07
It is the only time when what comes out of my mouth
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To je jedini trenutak kad ono
što izlazi iz mojih usta
što izlazi iz mojih usta
08:10
is comprehensively exactly what I intended.
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je točno ono što sam htjela reći.
08:13
(Laughter)
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(Smijeh)
08:15
So I know that this is a TED Talk,
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Znam da je ovo TED govor,
08:18
but now i'm going to TED sing.
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ali ja ću sad TED pjevati.
08:22
This is a song that I wrote last year.
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Ovu pjesmu sam napisala lani.
08:23
Thank you very much. Thank you.
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Hvala vam puno. Hvala vam.
08:26
(Applause)
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(Pljesak)
08:39
(Piano)
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(Glasovir)
08:54
♪ I would be a beauty ♪
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♪ Bila bih ljepotica ♪
08:58
♪ but my nose ♪
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♪ ali moj nos ♪
09:02
♪ is slightly too big ♪
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♪ je malo prevelik ♪
09:05
♪ for my face ♪
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♪ za moje lice ♪
09:09
♪ And I would be a dreamer ♪
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♪ I bila bih sanjar ♪
09:13
♪ but my dream ♪
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♪ ali moji snovi ♪
09:16
♪ is slightly too big ♪
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♪ su malo preveliki ♪
09:20
♪ for this space ♪
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♪ za ovaj prostor ♪
09:23
♪ And I would be an angel ♪
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♪ I bila bih anđeo ♪
09:27
♪ but my halo ♪
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♪ ali moja aureola ♪
09:31
♪ it pales in the glow ♪
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♪ blijedi u sjaju ♪
09:34
♪ of your grace ♪
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♪ tvoje milosti ♪
09:38
♪ And I would be a joker ♪
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♪ I bila bih džoker ♪
09:42
♪ but that card looks silly when you play ♪
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♪ ali ta karta izgleda blesavo
kad odigraš ♪
kad odigraš ♪
09:50
♪ your ace ♪
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♪ svoj adut ♪
10:07
♪ I'd like to know ♪
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♪ Voljela bih znati ♪
10:11
♪ Are there stars in hell? ♪
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♪ Ima li zvijezda u paklu? ♪
10:15
♪ And I'd like to know ♪
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♪ I voljela bih znati ♪
10:18
♪ know if you can tell ♪
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♪ znati možeš li primjetiti ♪
10:22
♪ that you make me lose everything I know ♪
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♪ da zbog tebe gubim sve što znam ♪
10:29
♪ That I cannot choose to or not let go ♪
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♪ Da ne mogu odabrati pustiti ili ne ♪
10:50
♪ And I'd stay forever ♪
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♪ I ostala bih zauvijek ♪
10:54
♪ but my home ♪
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♪ ali moj dom ♪
10:57
♪ is slightly too far ♪
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♪ je malo predaleko ♪
11:01
♪ from this place ♪
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♪ od ovog mjesta ♪
11:03
♪ And I swear I tried to ♪
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♪ I kunem se da sam pokušala ♪
11:08
♪ slow it down ♪
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♪ usporiti ♪
11:11
♪ when I am walking at your pace ♪
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♪ kada hodam uz tvoj korak♪
11:18
♪ But all I could think ♪
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♪ Ali sve o čem sam mogla misliti ♪
11:21
♪ idling through the cities ♪
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♪ mirujući kroz gradove ♪
11:26
♪ do I look pretty in the rain? ♪
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♪ izgledam li lijepo
na kiši? ♪
na kiši? ♪
11:33
♪ And I don't know how someone ♪
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♪ I ne znam kako zbog nekog♪
11:37
♪ quite so lovely ♪
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♪ tako ljupkog ♪
11:40
♪ makes me feel ugly ♪
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♪ se osjećam ružnom ♪
11:46
♪ So much shame ♪
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♪ Toliko srama ♪
11:55
♪ And I'd like to know ♪
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♪ I željela bih znati ♪
11:59
♪ Are there stars in hell? ♪
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♪ Ima li zvijezda u paklu? ♪
12:02
♪ And I'd like to know ♪
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♪ I željela bih znati ♪
12:06
♪ know if you can tell ♪
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♪ znati možeš li primjetiti ♪
12:10
♪ that you make me lose everything I know ♪
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♪ da zbog tebe gubim
sve što znam ♪
sve što znam ♪
12:17
♪ that I cannot choose to or not let go ♪
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♪ da ne mogu odabrati
pustiti ili ne ♪
pustiti ili ne ♪
12:52
Thank you very much. (Applause)
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Hvala vam puno.
(Pljesak)
(Pljesak)
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Megan Washington - MusicianMegan Washington has won two ARIA Awards, the Australian equivalent of the Grammys. A popular singer/songwriter, she has recently come clean with a secret—that she has a speech impediment.
Why you should listen
The lyrics of Megan Washington’s songs have a beautiful, confessional tone: she sings about heartbreak, insecurity, rage, you name it. But there is one thing that Washington avoided sharing publicly before stepping on the stage of TEDxSydney 2014: that she has a stutter.
One of Australia’s most promising singer/songwriters, Megan Washington won two ARIA Awards in 2010 for “Best Female Artist” and “Breakthrough Artist” following the release of her album, I Believe You Liar. The album went platinum, and she followed it up in 2012 with Insomnia. Her latest album, There There, was be released on September 12, 2014.
Prior to going solo, Washington played jazz piano with various acts and founded a band called Washington, borrowing her last name. After her breakthrough solo album, she served as a mentor on Australia’s version of The Voice and also spoke on music panels on the show Spicks and Specks, using a method called "smooth speech" to overcome her stuttering on-air. Washington's songs have also appeared in TV shows Girls and Boardwalk Empire.
Megan Washington | Speaker | TED.com