Tiq Milan and Kim Katrin Milan: A queer vision of love and marriage
列・米兰和吉姆・凯特林・米兰: 爱情让我们成全自己
Already a tireless advocate for positive and honest portrayals of LGBTQ people in media, Tiq Milan now evangelizes for the unifying power of love. Full bioKim Katrin Milan - Writer, educator, artist
Through her art and writing, Kim Katrin Milan advocates for queer, trans and feminist issues. Now she’s using her own love story to help bridge communities. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
was on Facebook,
第一次对话是在Facebook,
that I knew she was going to be my wife.
她将成为我的妻子。
amount of time for our courtship;
等待那些建议的时间;
the vulnerable truths up front:
那脆弱的真相:
certificate should have stood for "False,"
应该代表单词“错误的”,
以女性的身份走来走去
pebbles in my shoes.
I took forward.
a cisgender queer woman.
我是一名顺性别的性别认同疑惑女性。
I was assigned at birth
我出生时是一名女性
the many different ways
我们在这个世界上存在的
(可以表示古怪的,或是俚语同性恋)
restricted by gender
of who I am and how I've loved.
我的全部,还有我爱的方式。
from the very beginning.
就能够信任他对我的爱。
from institutions and traditions.
被制度和传统拒之门外。
to commit to each other
用截然不同的方式
of the "Golden Rule,"
the way we want to be treated.
the standard for other people,
的标准的假想之上的,
the way they want to be treated,
意思是我们
of love that Tiq needed
about his fears, his insecurities --
-关于他的担忧,不安全感-
kind of love I needed.
of their love because I was trans.
因为我是跨性别人群。
transgender people.
and often signed into law.
被法律认可的。
from internalizing that message,
of community work behind us,
of a family in front of us,
and a bit of an orphan,
从某种程度来说也算是孤儿,
the differences in our strengths
but we don't live marginalized lives.
但我们并不是边缘化地生活着。
new ways of existing.
我们创造了新的生存方式。
too proud and too freeing.
吉姆是充满女人味的。
was going to be my helper or my rib,
或是我的附属,
to reign in, control or critique.
控制或是批判的女性。
sight of her empathy.
about setting each other free.
一直都给予彼此自由。
没有完成的梦想,
his mother's incredible legacy.
were able to start from that place,
从那个角度开始对话,
that was around figuring out
to grow into the people that we were
我们现在这样
committed to each other
concern when I transitioned
我母亲最担心的,
precluded me from love and monogamy
被爱和夫妻制拒之门外,
born in the wrong body?
出生在了错误的身体里吗?
that has to be reframed
binary thinking on gender
along the numb keloid scars
all the way out to my outer torso.
reminders of my strength
conventional trajectories
to bless a union for folks like us,
像我们这样的人们爱的祝福,
supposed to recognize it.
after meeting online,
of City Hall in Manhattan,
市政厅的台阶上结婚了,
in every conceivable way.
reimagined some traditions,
that we worked in,
一些老的,我们适用的,
that worked for us.
能彼此接受的方式
with wildflowers from Brooklyn --
用布鲁克林的野花填补的-
and sage to keep us grounded
和鼠尾草让我们保持平定
sister healer friend of ours.
可爱的姐妹医生朋友操办的。
are not my thing,
my father's bastard child,
我是父亲的私生子
an apology, a secret, an imposition.
秘密的,强加的存在。
选择了我的男人的名字
who chose me first.
and some close friends,
as we took our vows.
都难以置信我们宣了誓。
photos on Facebook,
都放在了Facebook上,
than just a union of two people,
for the millions of LGBTQ folks
家庭和婚姻
is antithetical to who they are --
和跨性别人群树立了一种可能性,
who rarely get to see ourselves
because of our identities,
当然是因为我们的身份,
to be the people that we are.
有胆量去展现真实的自我。
receptive and shape-shifting.
开放,善于接纳,和转换形态。
source of, our strength.
of that strength.
就是力量的源泉。
poet Brandon Wint:
布兰登・温特的话:
queer like escaping definition.
而是一种好似被逃避的定义。
and limitlessness all at once.
瞬间的流动性,无拘束感。
too strange to be conquered.
无法抗拒的自由力量
to imagine what love can look like,
是敢于去想象爱的境界,
who are living their authentic selves
我们在性别线谱的任何位置,
that always is present
以自我方式生活的人们
is murdered every 21 hours.
就会有一名跨性别人士被谋杀。
trans murders on record this year
跨性别人群谋杀案
than this rigid dichotomy
远不只是这种力量与柔韧
complexity on these margins,
扩充人类的复杂性,
on these margins.
that we have literally never seen before;
我们从未见过的世界;
on love and not by blood,
have been shown ourselves.
那种同情心做为引导。
love from our families --
能够从家庭中得到爱——
that we trust most.
entirely new languages of love.
就是为爱创造一种新语言。
for us to be our authentic selves
is supposed to be.
in love and inclusion
gender, in their skin --
他们的肤色——
to unlearn these deep-seated biases
这些根深蒂固的偏见,
to be self-determined,
world than the one we were born into.
比我们出生时的更好的世界。
存在过的印记,
that we were here.
into our relationship
to make maps to the future
other peoples' experience,
complicate this idea
are supposed to be.
a mirror up to ourselves.
always the best listener,
我并不总是最好的听众,
of our progress as a couple.
阻碍我们夫妇的进步。
these deep-seated, sexist ideas
of a woman's experience in the world.
深层次的,性别观念。
to be in allyship with my wife.
of a lot of things, too.
we got into a massive fight.
我们发生了激烈的争辩。
and our lived experiences --
和我们的生活经历——
puts ourselves entirely on the line.
投放在了极大的风险里。
over the course of two days --
together to each other,
to each other and to our marriage.
忠于我们的婚姻。
some of the most passionate parts
和你们分享的
with being a man don't define me,
剧毒特权并不能定义我,
for how it shows up in my life every day.
我生活中的男子气概负责。
to do all of the emotional labor
打开情感信号通路的工作
when I'd rather clam up and run away.
instead of facing my own vulnerabilities,
而不是面对自己的脆弱心灵,
miscarriage we suffered last year,
遭遇到心碎的流产之后,
we get to take the easy way out.
我们总想简单摆脱。
is about reimagining masculinity.
对男性特质的重新思考。
that isn't measured
by the entitlements afforded to it,
that it can muster,
for my femininity to flourish
以一种从未经历过的方式
of the cleaning than I do.
做更多的清洁工作。
to get out of the house
as though it is frivolous or superficial,
表面的东西对待,
of gender every single day.
get dressed in the morning.
and colorful, and tight,
色彩斑斓的,贴身的,
negotiate her decisions
去寻找那种不醒目,
to get the least amount of attention,
她是一名充满活力的
of the vibrant and sexy woman she is.
是一件颇具挑战性的事。
her for her beauty,
beautiful and special and free,
特别,自由的东西,
TM:我爱你。
and trans people
this retelling of history
to not see ourselves there.
is about that representation.
就是一种体现。
of our inheritance in this world, too.
我们这个世界的遗产的期望。
love and institutions.
of gender and sexuality,
is self-determined and not imposed,
而非被强加的世界,
is a kaleidoscope of possibility
或正义的狭隘观念限制的
masquerading as science or justice.
that exists in the world,
在这个世界上的不公平,
of people to really change.
改变的能力,真的很难。
of faith and dedication.
than I ever thought possible --
speaking the same language.
就是鸡同鸭讲。
to be married to this man;
the possibility of changing minds,
where love belongs to us all.
首字母缩写简称:
of self and a community,
自我与群体的演化,
not to leave anyone behind.
留下任何人的深深的期望。
throughout changes to gender
性别转变,精神改变的过程中,
in our chat rooms,
and in our community centers.
each other for the long haul.
ABOUT THE SPEAKERS
Tiq Milan - Transgender activistAlready a tireless advocate for positive and honest portrayals of LGBTQ people in media, Tiq Milan now evangelizes for the unifying power of love.
Why you should listen
Tiq Milan speaks and writes about intersectional leadership, transgender rights and racial justice. He shares stories of his life and how his transgender experience has informed his views on masculinity, race and the gender binary. A journalist for over a decade, his work has appeared on MIC, Buzzfeed, NBC and CNN. He is also a strategic media consultant, helping organizations and companies create detailed media campaigns that engage diverse audiences in ways that are inclusive and authentic.
Tiq has been most inspired by his years mentoring LGBT youth at the Bronx Community Pride Center and the Hetrick Martin Institute in the New York City. He was able to witness first hand the intersectional lived experiences of gay and trans youth and how it's affected by social systems put in place to help them. He most recently was the senior media strategist and national spokesperson for GLAAD, where he utlilized the media to call attention to the needs of the LGBT community, particularly transgender people of color.
Tiq is currently the co-Founder of Milan Media Arts Productions (MAPS) along with his wife, Kim Katrin Milan. MAPS is a content creation and consulting firm that is dedicated to creating narratives of queer people and their allies. View his published work, features and appearances here.
Tiq Milan | Speaker | TED.com
Kim Katrin Milan - Writer, educator, artist
Through her art and writing, Kim Katrin Milan advocates for queer, trans and feminist issues. Now she’s using her own love story to help bridge communities.
Why you should listen
A daughter of the diaspora -- Afro-Caribbean, Venezuelan Arawak, Indian and Scottish, hailing from Trinidad and living between Toronto and New York -- Kim Katrin Milan is an acclaimed educator, writer and artist.
Kim is the co-founder and Executive Director of The People Project, an initiative to bring forth local and international community development for queer and trans folks of color and their allies through alternative education, art-activism and collaboration. She is also one of the owners of the Glad Day Book Shop, the oldest LGBT bookstore in the world.
As an educator, Kim travels around the world talking to people about justice, equity and human rights. She is dedicated to inclusivity and invested in arousing a sense of curiosity and empathy in her audience. She uniquely weaves together the historical context, statistical analysis, as well as current events.
A public researcher, consultant and human rights educator, Kim has shared hundreds of unique resources and presentations around intersectional issues including race, ability and gender. As a social entrepreneur, she speaks to the opportunities and challenges for women in business and leadership roles. With great openness, she welcomes difficult conversations hosting community dialogues and sharing practical strategies around sexuality and consent, queer and trans allyship. and anti-racism and equity.
Since 2012, Kim has spoken at universities including Princeton, Dartmouth, McGill and Mount Allison. She has opened for cultural scholar Cornel West at UC Davis, delivered the keynote address at HBCU's Morehouse and Spelman's first Pride, and she was a panelist at Amber Rose's first SlutWalk. She has hosted events for the United Nations, acted as the Grand Marshall for Hudson, NY Pride and hosted an session at Dreamforce 2016.
Kim has contributed to Cosmopolitan, MTV, NBC, Larry King Now, Buzzfeed and the CBC, both independently and alongside her husband Tiq Milan. She regularly contributes to TeleSUR English, the Central American news network.
Kim Katrin Milan | Speaker | TED.com