TED Residency
Nikki Webber Allen: Don't suffer from your depression in silence
Nikki Webber Allen: Nemojte patiti od depresije u tišini
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Osjećaji nisu znak slabosti - oni pokazuju da smo ljudi, kaže producentica i aktivistica Nikki Webber Allen. Čak i kada joj je dijagnosticirana tjeskoba i depresija, Webber Allen sramila se ikome reći i tajila to sve dok obiteljska tragedija nije razotkrila kako i ljudi bliski njoj isto pate. U ovom važnom govoru o mentalnom zdravlju, ona otvoreno govori o svojoj borbi i zašto zajednice Afroamerikanaca moraju poništiti vjerovanje da je depresija znak slabosti, što mnoge bolesnike sprječava da potraže pomoć.
Nikki Webber Allen - Multimedia producer
Nikki Webber Allen is working to create a safe space for honest conversations about mental health in communities of color. Full bio
Nikki Webber Allen is working to create a safe space for honest conversations about mental health in communities of color. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:12
What are you doing on this stage
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Što radiš na ovoj pozornici
00:17
in front of all these people?
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pred svim ovim ljudima?
00:20
(Laughter)
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(Smijeh)
00:21
Run!
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Bježi!
00:23
(Laughter)
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(Smijeh)
Bježi odmah!
00:24
Run now.
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00:26
That's the voice of my anxiety talking.
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To govori moja tjeskoba.
00:30
Even when there's absolutely
nothing wrong,
nothing wrong,
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Čak i kada je sve u redu,
00:33
I sometimes get
this overwhelming sense of doom,
this overwhelming sense of doom,
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ponekad me uhvati jako loš osjećaj,
00:37
like danger is lurking
just around the corner.
just around the corner.
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kao da opasnost vreba iza ugla.
00:41
You see, a few years ago,
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Prije nekoliko godina
00:43
I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety
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rekli su mi da patim od tjeskobe
00:45
and depression --
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i depresije,
00:47
two conditions that often go hand in hand.
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dva stanja koja često idu zajedno.
00:50
Now, there was a time
I wouldn't have told anybody,
I wouldn't have told anybody,
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Prije to nikome ne bih rekla,
00:54
especially not in front of a big audience.
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pogotovo ne pred grupom ljudi.
00:56
As a black woman,
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Kao Afroamerikanka,
00:58
I've had to develop
extraordinary resilience to succeed.
extraordinary resilience to succeed.
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morala sam se jako potruditi
da nešto postignem.
da nešto postignem.
01:02
And like most people in my community,
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Kao i mnogi drugi u mojoj zajednici,
01:04
I had the misconception that depression
was a sign of weakness,
was a sign of weakness,
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mislila sam da je depresija slabost,
01:07
a character flaw.
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karakterna mana.
01:09
But I wasn't weak;
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Ali nisam bila slaba,
01:11
I was a high achiever.
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bila sam veoma uspješna.
01:12
I'd earned a Master's degree
in Media Studies
in Media Studies
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Magistrirala sam medijskih znanosti
01:15
and had a string of high-profile jobs
in the film and television industries.
in the film and television industries.
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i imala sam niz veoma
važnih poslova na filmu i televiziji.
važnih poslova na filmu i televiziji.
01:19
I'd even won two Emmy Awards
for my hard work.
for my hard work.
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Čak sam osvojila i dvije
Emmy nagrade za svoj rad.
Emmy nagrade za svoj rad.
01:23
Sure, I was totally spent,
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Naravno, bila sam potpuno iscrpljena,
01:26
I lacked interest in things
I used to enjoy,
I used to enjoy,
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izgubila sam interes za ono
što me prije zabavljalo,
što me prije zabavljalo,
01:29
barely ate,
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jedva išta jela,
01:30
struggled with insomnia
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mučila se s nesanicom
01:32
and felt isolated and depleted.
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i osjećala se samo i istrošeno.
01:35
But depressed?
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No depresivno?
01:36
No, not me.
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Ne, nikako.
01:39
It took weeks before I could admit it,
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Prošli su tjedni prije
nego što sam priznala,
nego što sam priznala,
01:42
but the doctor was right:
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ali liječnik je bio u pravu:
01:43
I was depressed.
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patila sam od depresije.
01:45
Still, I didn't tell anybody
about my diagnosis.
about my diagnosis.
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Svejedno nisam nikome
rekla ništa o tome.
rekla ništa o tome.
01:49
I was too ashamed.
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Bilo me previše sram.
01:51
I didn't think I had the right
to be depressed.
to be depressed.
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Mislila sam da nemam pravo
biti u depresiji.
biti u depresiji.
01:54
I had a privileged life
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Imala sam dobar život,
01:56
with a loving family
and a successful career.
and a successful career.
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predivnu obitelj i uspješnu karijeru.
01:59
And when I thought about
the unspeakable horrors
the unspeakable horrors
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A kada sam razmišljala o grozotama
02:02
that my ancestors
had been through in this country
had been through in this country
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koje su prošli moji preci u ovoj državi,
02:04
so that I could have it better,
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kako bi meni bilo bolje,
02:06
my shame grew even deeper.
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osjećala sam još veći sram.
02:08
I was standing on their shoulders.
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Oni su svojim postignućima
utrli put za mene.
utrli put za mene.
02:11
How could I let them down?
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Kako sam ih mogla izdati?
02:13
I would hold my head up,
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Podigla bih glavu,
02:15
put a smile on my face
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nabacila osmijeh
02:17
and never tell a soul.
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i ne bih rekla nikome.
02:22
On July 4, 2013,
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Četvrtog srpnja 2013.
02:26
my world came crashing in on me.
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moj svijet se srušio.
02:29
That was the day I got
a phone call from my mom
a phone call from my mom
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Tog dana nazvala me majka i rekla
02:32
telling me that my 22-year-old nephew,
Paul, had ended his life,
Paul, had ended his life,
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da se moj 22-godišnji nećak, Paul, ubio,
02:36
after years of battling
depression and anxiety.
depression and anxiety.
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nakon godina borbe protiv
depresije i tjeskobe.
depresije i tjeskobe.
02:40
There are no words that can describe
the devastation I felt.
the devastation I felt.
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Riječima se ne može opisati
kako sam se osjećala.
kako sam se osjećala.
02:44
Paul and I were very close,
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Bili smo jako bliski,
ali nisam imala pojma
da je toliko patio.
da je toliko patio.
02:45
but I had no idea he was in so much pain.
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02:48
Neither one of us had ever talked
to the other about our struggles.
to the other about our struggles.
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Nikada nismo razgovarali
o svojim problemima.
o svojim problemima.
02:52
The shame and stigma kept us both silent.
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Šutjeli smo zbog srama i stigme.
02:56
Now, my way of dealing with adversity
is to face it head on,
is to face it head on,
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Inače se izravno suočavam s problemima,
03:00
so I spent the next two years
researching depression and anxiety,
researching depression and anxiety,
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pa sam iduće dvije godine provela
istražujući depresiju i tjeskobu,
istražujući depresiju i tjeskobu,
03:03
and what I found was mind-blowing.
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a ono što sam otkrila
veoma me iznenadilo.
veoma me iznenadilo.
03:06
The World Health Organization reports
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Svjetska zdravstvena organizacija kaže
03:08
that depression is the leading cause
of sickness and disability
of sickness and disability
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da je depresija glavni uzrok
bolesti i invaliditeta
bolesti i invaliditeta
03:14
in the world.
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u svijetu.
03:16
While the exact cause
of depression isn't clear,
of depression isn't clear,
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Iako pravi uzrok depresije
još nije jasan,
još nije jasan,
03:19
research suggests
that most mental disorders develop,
that most mental disorders develop,
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istraživanja kažu da se
većina mentalnih poremećaja,
većina mentalnih poremećaja,
03:22
at least in part,
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barem djelomično,
03:23
because of a chemical
imbalance in the brain,
imbalance in the brain,
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razvije zbog kemijske neravnoteže u mozgu,
03:26
and/or an underlying
genetic predisposition.
genetic predisposition.
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i/ili zbog genetske predispozicije.
03:31
So you can't just shake it off.
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Znači, ne možete se toga
samo tako riješiti.
samo tako riješiti.
03:34
For black Americans,
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Afroamerikanci
03:36
stressors like racism
and socioeconomic disparities
and socioeconomic disparities
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zbog rasizma ili
socioekonomske nejednakosti
socioekonomske nejednakosti
03:40
put them at a 20 percent greater risk
of developing a mental disorder,
of developing a mental disorder,
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imaju 20% veće šanse da
obole od mentalnog poremećaja,
obole od mentalnog poremećaja,
03:45
yet they seek mental health services
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no, u usporedbi s bijelcima,
03:48
at about half the rate of white Americans.
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samo pola njih će
zatražiti liječničku pomoć.
zatražiti liječničku pomoć.
03:51
One reason is the stigma,
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Jedan od razloga je stigma,
03:54
with 63 percent of black Americans
mistaking depression for a weakness.
mistaking depression for a weakness.
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jer 63% Afroamerikanaca
smatra depresiju slabošću.
smatra depresiju slabošću.
04:01
Sadly, the suicide rate
among black children
among black children
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Nažalost, stopa samoubojstva
afroameričke djece
afroameričke djece
04:05
has doubled in the past 20 years.
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udvostručila se u posljednjih 20 godina.
04:09
Now, here's the good news:
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Evo i dobrih vijesti:
04:12
seventy percent of people
struggling with depression will improve
struggling with depression will improve
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70% ljudi koji se bore s depresijom
osjećat će se bolje
osjećat će se bolje
04:16
with therapy, treatment and medication.
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uz terapiju, liječenje i lijekove.
04:21
Armed with this information,
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Znajući ovu informaciju,
04:23
I made a decision:
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nešto sam odlučila:
04:24
I wasn't going to be silent anymore.
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više neću šutjeti.
04:28
With my family's blessing,
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Uz podršku svoje obitelji,
04:30
I would share our story
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podijelit ću našu priču
04:32
in hopes of sparking
a national conversation.
a national conversation.
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nadajući se da će potaknuti
raspravu na državnoj razini.
raspravu na državnoj razini.
04:36
A friend, Kelly Pierre-Louis, said,
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Prijateljica Kelly Pierre-Louis
jednom je rekla,
jednom je rekla,
04:38
"Being strong is killing us."
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"Naša snaga nas ubija."
04:42
She's right.
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U pravu je.
04:44
We have got to retire
those tired, old narratives
those tired, old narratives
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Moramo se ostaviti onih starih priča
04:48
of the strong black woman
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o snažnim Afroamerikankama
04:49
and the super-masculine black man,
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i super-muževnim Afroamerikancima
04:52
who, no matter how many times
they get knocked down,
they get knocked down,
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koji se, bez obzira koliko puta pali,
04:54
just shake it off and soldier on.
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uvijek dižu i nastavljaju dalje.
04:57
Having feelings isn't a sign of weakness.
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Osjećaji nisu znak slabosti.
05:02
Feelings mean we're human.
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Osjećaji znače da smo ljudi.
05:04
And when we deny our humanity,
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Kada niječemo svoju ljudskost,
05:06
it leaves us feeling empty inside,
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postajemo prazni iznutra
05:09
searching for ways to self-medicate
in order to fill the void.
in order to fill the void.
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i tražimo načine da lijekovima
sami popunimo tu prazninu.
sami popunimo tu prazninu.
05:12
My drug was high achievement.
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Moja droga bila je uspješnost.
05:16
These days, I share my story openly,
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Sada dijelim svoju priču s drugima
05:19
and I ask others to share theirs, too.
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i molim ostale da podijele svoju.
05:22
I believe that's what it takes
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Mislim da je to potrebno
05:23
to help people who may
be suffering in silence
be suffering in silence
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kako bi se pomoglo onima
koji pate u tišini
koji pate u tišini
05:26
to know that they are not alone
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te da znaju da nisu sami
05:28
and to know that with help,
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i da im uz pravu pomoć
05:30
they can heal.
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može biti bolje.
05:31
Now, I still have my struggles,
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Još uvijek imam problema,
05:33
particularly with the anxiety,
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naročito s tjeskobom,
05:36
but I'm able to manage it
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ali uspijevam je kontrolirati
05:37
through daily mediation,
yoga and a relatively healthy diet.
yoga and a relatively healthy diet.
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uz tuđu pomoć, yogu i
relativno zdravu prehranu.
relativno zdravu prehranu.
05:42
(Laughter)
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(Smijeh)
05:43
If I feel like things
are starting to spiral,
are starting to spiral,
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Ako osjetim da gubim kontrolu,
05:46
I make an appointment to see my therapist,
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dogovorim sastanak sa svojim terapeutom,
05:48
a dynamic black woman
named Dawn Armstrong,
named Dawn Armstrong,
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dinamičnom Afroamerikankom Dawn Armstrong,
05:51
who has a great sense of humor
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koja ima odličan smisao za humor
05:53
and a familiarity that I find comforting.
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i prisnost uz koju se osjećam ugodno.
05:57
I will always regret
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Uvijek ću žaliti
05:59
that I couldn't be there for my nephew.
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što nisam mogla pomoći svom nećaku.
06:02
But my sincerest hope
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Ali iskreno se nadam
06:04
is that I can inspire others
with the lesson that I've learned.
with the lesson that I've learned.
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da onime što sam naučila
mogu pomoći drugima.
mogu pomoći drugima.
06:11
Life is beautiful.
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Život je lijep.
06:14
Sometimes it's messy,
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Nekad je zbrkan
06:16
and it's always unpredictable.
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i uvijek je nepredvidljiv.
06:19
But it will all be OK
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Ali, sve će biti u redu
06:20
when you have your support system
to help you through it.
to help you through it.
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ako imate nešto da vas vodi i podržava.
06:23
I hope that if your burden gets too heavy,
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Nadam se da ćete i vi zatražiti pomoć
06:25
you'll ask for a hand, too.
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ako vam postane preteško.
06:27
Thank you.
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Hvala vam.
06:28
(Applause)
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(Pljesak)
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Nikki Webber Allen - Multimedia producerNikki Webber Allen is working to create a safe space for honest conversations about mental health in communities of color.
Why you should listen
Nikki Webber Allen is a two-time Emmy winner with 20 years of experience producing content for media outlets including Warner Bros., HBO, ABC, 20th Century Fox and BET.
In 2013, while working as the vice president of casting and talent relations for the cable network TV One, Webber Allen lost her 22-year old nephew, Paul, to suicide after his years of struggle with depression and anxiety. Since then, she's become a passionate mental health advocate.
In Paul's honor, she launched the nonprofit I LIVE FOR... FOUNDATION, INC. to create a safe space for honest, unapologetic conversations about mental health in communities of color, where the cultural stigma of mental illness discourages far too many people from seeking help. Michael Eric Dyson, advisor to the foundation, has called I LIVE FOR… "an incredibly important organization that offers much-needed support to those who too often suffer in silence."
Webber Allen is currently producing and directing a documentary film featuring a diverse group of compelling young men and women who reject the stigma of mental illness and share candid stories about their experiences living with depression and anxiety. The film is being scored by her husband, musician Jeffrey Allen of the Grammy-nominated R&B band Mint Condition.
In 2016, Webber Allen was one of only 47 people chosen out of more than 1,000 applicants worldwide to receive a coveted scholarship to Marie Forleo's B-School for social entrepreneurs. She has an M.A. in media studies from The New School University in New York, NY and a B.A. in communications from Rutgers University in New Brunswick, NJ.
Nikki Webber Allen | Speaker | TED.com