Tammy Lally: Let's get honest about our money problems
Tammy Lally: Bodimo pošteni o svojih finančnih problemih
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
your family's rules?
družinska pravila?
40th birthday, he called.
poklical na svoj 40. rojstni dan.
he needed quick cash,
potreboval gotovino.
so beaten down and shameful,
potolčenega in osramočenega,
that we would all ask,
ki bi jih vsi zastavili,
but under one condition:
denar, a pod enim pogojem:
professional in the family,
v naši družini
at the local Starbucks,
smo se sestali v bližnjem Starbucksu
with the tough-love budget conversation.
downsize to something you can afford,
kar si lahko privoščita,
kavi za 5 dolarjev.
to keep up with the Joneses.
samo da bi bili boljši kot sosedje.
went into a fearsome blame game,
zapletla v strašno igro obtoževanja
and pissed-off sister.
in besno sestro.
da sem se zarotila proti njemu.
and felt ganged-up on.
with my tough-love budget conversation.
svojim krutim pogovorom o denarju.
I went looking for answers,
iskala odgovore
of overdue credit card bills
za kreditne kartice
on the day that he died.
ki ga je prejel na dan, ko je umrl.
his beautiful 10-year-old daughter,
prelepo desetletno hčerko,
weeks before his high school graduation,
sina in to nekaj tednov pred maturo,
in our family's money-shame cycle,
začaranem krogu naše družine
med 40. in 64. letom starosti
za skoraj 40 odstotkov.
in zaplemba hipoteke
40 percent of the deaths,
40 odstotkih teh smrti,
accounting for seven out of 10 suicides.
pa so predstavljali 7 od 10 samomorov.
and self-defeating financial behaviors
finančnega vedenja
by our rational, logical minds.
of our subconscious belief systems
naših podzavestnih prepričanj,
our entire adult lives,
skozi vse naše odraslo življenje
that you're lazy,
ne znate z denarjem.
a well-known shame researcher,
raziskovalka sramu,
painful feeling or experience
občutek ali izkušnjo
of love and belonging."
here's how I'm defining money shame:
finančni sram definiram takole:
feeling or experience
of love and belonging,
of examples of what I mean.
10,000 dollars a year or 10 million,
dolarjev na leto,
all of our power.
if someone that you love, or you,
ki ga ljubite, ali vi sami
always picking up the check,
of chronic not-enoughness.
really only can afford a Honda.
privošči le hondo.
from the grips of money shame,
iz krempljev finančnega sramu,
the Recession hit.
je udarila recesija.
in se soočila z bankrotom.
thinking I did something wrong,
prepričana, da sem naredila nekaj narobe.
What happened?"
Kaj se je zgodilo?"
I went outside and smiled.
sem hodila ven in se smehljala.
was let go of the grip that I had
izviti se iz krempljev prepričanja,
that a new financial plan
da je novi finančni načrt
in my life, for me,
samoizpraševanja
that we're suffering with money issues,
da trpimo zaradi finančnih težav
numbing out our pain.
prenehati moramo blažiti bolečino.
and your money history,
in order to be free.
da bi se osvobodili.
happens through surrender,
se zgodi skozi predajo,
of not forgiving.
manifestacija neodpuščanja.
completely forgiven your past,
še niste popolnoma oprostili,
to forgive ourselves and others
sebi in drugim,
will continue to repeat.
še naprej ponavljala.
and I know we all want one,
da si jo vsi želimo,
right away what you value.
Do I really value all this stuff?
so mi te stvari res tako pomembne?
what you're feeling when you're spending.
ko zapravljate.
that needs to happen.
money beliefs to begin with?
o denarju?
the first step I take with my clients.
prvi korak, ki ga naredim s strankami.
childhood money memory.
spomin, povezan z denarjem.
or did you run to the bank?
ali v banko?
your parents do with the money?
into the money belief
to our net worth
enaka najinemu premoženju,
of chronic not-enoughness.
živi v kroničnem stanju nezadostnosti.
with sugar and shopping.
longed to be financially rescued,
po finančni rešitvi
with self-help books.
s knjigami za samopomoč.
was our money belief.
that our bank account balance
na najinem bančnem računu
meeting with my brother ...
z bratom v Starbucksu ...
ne mojega obsojanja.
from his suffering,
to be the one to speak up
finančnega sramu naše družine,
and share his legacy.
in delim njegovo zapuščino.
če se ne spremeniš.
and profound forgiveness,
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Tammy Lally - Money coachTammy Lally helps others master their finances.
Why you should listen
Tammy Lally is a Certified Money Coach and author of Money Detox. She helps others master their finances by first conquering their emotions around money, then by creating a comprehensive financial plan.
Lally has deep experience in the financial industry and has spent years studying psychology, addiction, recovery and spirituality. Her teachers include Brené Brown, Marianne Williamson, Pia Melody and Byron Katie.
Lally brings a distinctive blend of financial industry experience, psychological knowledge and spiritual consciousness to her work. She created a seven-step "Money Detox" process that allows anyone to achieve financial freedom and joy.
Tammy Lally | Speaker | TED.com