Tiq Milan and Kim Katrin Milan: A queer vision of love and marriage
Tik Milan i Kim Katrin Milan (Tiq Milan and Kim Katrin Milan): Ljubav koja nam dozvoljava da budemo mi sami
Already a tireless advocate for positive and honest portrayals of LGBTQ people in media, Tiq Milan now evangelizes for the unifying power of love. Full bioKim Katrin Milan - Writer, educator, artist
Through her art and writing, Kim Katrin Milan advocates for queer, trans and feminist issues. Now she’s using her own love story to help bridge communities. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
was on Facebook,
je bio na Fejsbuku
that I knew she was going to be my wife.
da će da mi bude supruga.
amount of time for our courtship;
količinu vremena za naše udvaranje;
the vulnerable truths up front:
rekli ranjive istine:
certificate should have stood for "False,"
trebalo da predstavlja "živa neistina"
pebbles in my shoes.
s kamenčićima u cipelama.
I took forward.
po sopstvenoj volji muškarac;
a cisgender queer woman.
cisrodna kvir žena.
I was assigned at birth
koji mi je određen po rođenju
the many different ways
da se opišu brojni različiti načini
restricted by gender
različitih načina -
of who I am and how I've loved.
onoga ko sam i kako volim.
from the very beginning.
njegovom udvaranju od samog početka.
from institutions and traditions.
iz institucija i tradicija.
to commit to each other
da se posvetimo jedno drugom
of the "Golden Rule,"
o nekakvoj ideji "zlatnog pravila",
the way we want to be treated.
kako želimo da se prema nama odnose.
the standard for other people,
standard za druge ljude,
the way they want to be treated,
kako oni žele da se odnosimo prema njima,
of love that Tiq needed
koja je potrebna Tiku
about his fears, his insecurities --
o njegovim strahovima, nesigurnostima -
kind of love I needed.
kakva mi je ljubav potrebna.
iz jednogodišnje magle,
of their love because I was trans.
jer sam transrodan.
transgender people.
and often signed into law.
i često zakonski regulisana.
from internalizing that message,
od internalizacije te poruke
of community work behind us,
of a family in front of us,
o porodici ispred nas,
and a bit of an orphan,
i na neki način siroče,
the differences in our strengths
u našim jačim stranama
but we don't live marginalized lives.
ali ne živimo marginalizovane živote.
new ways of existing.
o stvaranju novih vidova postojanja.
too proud and too freeing.
suviše ponosne i slobodne.
was going to be my helper or my rib,
da mi bude pomoćnik ili rebro,
to reign in, control or critique.
vladao, upravljao ili je kritikovao.
sight of her empathy.
svoju empatiju.
about setting each other free.
o oslobađanju jedno drugog.
his mother's incredible legacy.
zaveštanje njegove majke.
were able to start from that place,
to što smo mogli krenuti odatle,
that was around figuring out
to grow into the people that we were
omogućilo da odrastemo u ljude koji jesmo
committed to each other
jedno drugom,
jedno drugom lice.
concern when I transitioned
kad sam promenio rod
precluded me from love and monogamy
isključuje iz ljubavi i monogamije
born in the wrong body?
that has to be reframed
mora da bude preformulisan
binary thinking on gender
binarno razmišljanje o rodu
along the numb keloid scars
niz otupele keloidne ožiljke
all the way out to my outer torso.
skroz do spoljašnje strane mog torza.
reminders of my strength
što sam mogao da uradim.
conventional trajectories
konvencionalnijim putanjama
da blagoslovi zajednicu ljudi poput nas,
to bless a union for folks like us,
supposed to recognize it.
da je prepozna.
after meeting online,
nakon našeg susreta na internetu,
of City Hall in Manhattan,
zgrade opštine na Menhetnu
in every conceivable way.
reimagined some traditions,
da smo nanovo osmislili neke tradicije,
that we worked in,
koje smo preradili
that worked for us.
što je nama bilo dobro.
with wildflowers from Brooklyn --
bili od poljskog cveća iz Bruklina -
and sage to keep us grounded
i žalfije da nas drži pri zemlji
sister healer friend of ours.
sestra isceliteljka.
are not my thing,
nisu u mom maniru,
najtamnije ljubičaste boje,
astrološkim kamenjem.
my father's bastard child,
an apology, a secret, an imposition.
izvinjenje, tajna, teret.
who chose me first.
kome sam bila prvi izbor.
and some close friends,
i bliske prijatelje,
as we took our vows.
dok smo izgovarali zavete.
photos on Facebook,
s našeg venčanja na Fejsbuk
than just a union of two people,
nije samo unija dvoje ljudi,
for the millions of LGBTQ folks
za milione LGBTK ljudi
is antithetical to who they are --
antiteza onome što su oni -
who rarely get to see ourselves
because of our identities,
zbog naših identiteta,
to be the people that we are.
da budemo ljudi koji jesmo.
receptive and shape-shifting.
budemo prijemčivi i preobražajni.
source of, our strength.
of that strength.
poet Brandon Wint:
Brendona Vita:
queer like escaping definition.
kvir kao neko ko izmiče određenjima.
and limitlessness all at once.
i bezgraničnosti istovremeno.
too strange to be conquered.
isuviše čudne da bi je osvojili.
to imagine what love can look like,
da zamislimo kako ljubav može da izgleda
who are living their authentic selves
koji žive na sebi svojstven način
that always is present
koji je uvek prisutan
is murdered every 21 hours.
je ubijena na svaki 21 sat.
trans murders on record this year
transrodnih osoba ove godine
than this rigid dichotomy
ove krute dihotomije
complexity on these margins,
na ovim marginama
on these margins.
that we have literally never seen before;
nikad pre nismo videli;
on love and not by blood,
na osnovu ljubavi, a ne krvi,
have been shown ourselves.
pokazala sebi samima.
love from our families --
ljubav iz naših porodica -
that we trust most.
kojima smo najviše verovali.
entirely new languages of love.
potpuno nove jezike ljubavi,
for us to be our authentic selves
u kom bismo bili istinski mi,
is supposed to be.
ili ženstvenost trebalo da budu.
in love and inclusion
gender, in their skin --
to unlearn these deep-seated biases
da zaboravimo ove ukorenjene predrasude
to be self-determined,
da budu samoodlučni
world than the one we were born into.
bolji svet od onog u kom smo rođeni.
ovaj istorijski momenat
that we were here.
da smo bili tu.
into our relationship
to make maps to the future
da napravimo mape za budućnost,
other peoples' experience,
iskustva drugih ljudi,
complicate this idea
da komplikuje samu zamisao
are supposed to be.
trebalo da budu.
a mirror up to ourselves.
ogledalo nama samima.
always the best listener,
najbolji slušalac,
of our progress as a couple.
našem napredovanju kao para.
these deep-seated, sexist ideas
duboko ukorenjenim seksističkim idejama
of a woman's experience in the world.
ženskog iskustva u svetu.
to be in allyship with my wife.
šta znači biti u savezu s mojom suprugom.
of a lot of things, too.
sebe na mnogo toga.
we got into a massive fight.
silno smo se posvađali.
and our lived experiences --
i našim proživljenim iskustvima -
puts ourselves entirely on the line.
nas u potpunosti izlaže opasnosti.
over the course of two days --
together to each other,
zajedno jedno drugom,
to each other and to our marriage.
jedno drugom i našem braku.
some of the most passionate parts
neke od najstrastvenijih delova
with being a man don't define me,
s muškim rodom me ne određuju,
svakodnevno ispoljavanje u mom životu.
for how it shows up in my life every day.
to do all of the emotional labor
bavi celokupnim emotivnim poslom
when I'd rather clam up and run away.
kad bih se ja radije poklopio i pobegao.
instead of facing my own vulnerabilities,
da se suočim sa sopstvenom ranjivošću,
miscarriage we suffered last year,
pobačaja koji smo imali prošle godine,
we get to take the easy way out.
izvučemo na lakši način.
is about reimagining masculinity.
o novom osmišljavanju muževnosti.
that isn't measured
by the entitlements afforded to it,
pravima koja su joj dodeljena
koju može da prizove,
that it can muster,
for my femininity to flourish
za moju ženstvenost da procveta
ili kako se ponašam.
of the cleaning than I do.
posprema od mene.
to get out of the house
as though it is frivolous or superficial,
kao da je frivolna i površna,
of gender every single day.
get dressed in the morning.
kako se oblači ujutru.
and colorful, and tight,
šarenoliko i usko
negotiate her decisions
je kako dolazi do odluke,
to get the least amount of attention,
najmanje pažnje,
of the vibrant and sexy woman she is.
nje kao energične i izazovne žene.
her for her beauty,
zbog njene lepote
beautiful and special and free,
lepom i posebnom i slobodnom,
crnačkog feminzma.
and trans people
this retelling of history
novo pripovedanje istorije
to not see ourselves there.
is about that representation.
radi o našem predstavljanju.
of our inheritance in this world, too.
i našeg nasleđa u ovom svetu.
love and institutions.
ljubavi i institucija.
of gender and sexuality,
is self-determined and not imposed,
samoodređen, a ne nametnut
is a kaleidoscope of possibility
kaleidoskop mogućnosti
masquerading as science or justice.
koja se uzimaju kao nauka ili pravda.
that exists in the world,
koja postoji u svetu,
of people to really change.
istinskih promena kod ljudi.
of faith and dedication.
vere i posvećenosti.
than I ever thought possible --
nego što sam mislila da je moguće -
speaking the same language.
to be married to this man;
što sam udata za ovog čoveka;
the possibility of changing minds,
zbog mogućnosti menjanja umova,
where love belongs to us all.
u kom ljubav pripada svima nama.
of self and a community,
sebe i zajednice,
not to leave anyone behind.
da niko ne bude izostavljen.
throughout changes to gender
kroz izmene roda
in our chat rooms,
u našim prostorima za ćaskanje,
and in our community centers.
i u našim društvenim centrima.
each other for the long haul.
jedni druge na duge staze.
ABOUT THE SPEAKERS
Tiq Milan - Transgender activistAlready a tireless advocate for positive and honest portrayals of LGBTQ people in media, Tiq Milan now evangelizes for the unifying power of love.
Why you should listen
Tiq Milan speaks and writes about intersectional leadership, transgender rights and racial justice. He shares stories of his life and how his transgender experience has informed his views on masculinity, race and the gender binary. A journalist for over a decade, his work has appeared on MIC, Buzzfeed, NBC and CNN. He is also a strategic media consultant, helping organizations and companies create detailed media campaigns that engage diverse audiences in ways that are inclusive and authentic.
Tiq has been most inspired by his years mentoring LGBT youth at the Bronx Community Pride Center and the Hetrick Martin Institute in the New York City. He was able to witness first hand the intersectional lived experiences of gay and trans youth and how it's affected by social systems put in place to help them. He most recently was the senior media strategist and national spokesperson for GLAAD, where he utlilized the media to call attention to the needs of the LGBT community, particularly transgender people of color.
Tiq is currently the co-Founder of Milan Media Arts Productions (MAPS) along with his wife, Kim Katrin Milan. MAPS is a content creation and consulting firm that is dedicated to creating narratives of queer people and their allies. View his published work, features and appearances here.
Tiq Milan | Speaker | TED.com
Kim Katrin Milan - Writer, educator, artist
Through her art and writing, Kim Katrin Milan advocates for queer, trans and feminist issues. Now she’s using her own love story to help bridge communities.
Why you should listen
A daughter of the diaspora -- Afro-Caribbean, Venezuelan Arawak, Indian and Scottish, hailing from Trinidad and living between Toronto and New York -- Kim Katrin Milan is an acclaimed educator, writer and artist.
Kim is the co-founder and Executive Director of The People Project, an initiative to bring forth local and international community development for queer and trans folks of color and their allies through alternative education, art-activism and collaboration. She is also one of the owners of the Glad Day Book Shop, the oldest LGBT bookstore in the world.
As an educator, Kim travels around the world talking to people about justice, equity and human rights. She is dedicated to inclusivity and invested in arousing a sense of curiosity and empathy in her audience. She uniquely weaves together the historical context, statistical analysis, as well as current events.
A public researcher, consultant and human rights educator, Kim has shared hundreds of unique resources and presentations around intersectional issues including race, ability and gender. As a social entrepreneur, she speaks to the opportunities and challenges for women in business and leadership roles. With great openness, she welcomes difficult conversations hosting community dialogues and sharing practical strategies around sexuality and consent, queer and trans allyship. and anti-racism and equity.
Since 2012, Kim has spoken at universities including Princeton, Dartmouth, McGill and Mount Allison. She has opened for cultural scholar Cornel West at UC Davis, delivered the keynote address at HBCU's Morehouse and Spelman's first Pride, and she was a panelist at Amber Rose's first SlutWalk. She has hosted events for the United Nations, acted as the Grand Marshall for Hudson, NY Pride and hosted an session at Dreamforce 2016.
Kim has contributed to Cosmopolitan, MTV, NBC, Larry King Now, Buzzfeed and the CBC, both independently and alongside her husband Tiq Milan. She regularly contributes to TeleSUR English, the Central American news network.
Kim Katrin Milan | Speaker | TED.com