TED Salon: Belonging
Casey Gerald: Embrace your raw, strange magic
Kejsi Džerald (Casey Gerald): Prigrlite sirovu, čudnovatu čaroliju sopstva
Filmed:
Readability: 3.2
1,859,872 views
Način na koji smo naučili da živimo mora da se promeni, kaže pisac Kejsi Džerald. Suviše često skrivamo delove nas samih kako bismo se uklopili, dobili pohvale, bili prihvaćeni. Međutim, po koju cenu? U ovom inspirativnom govoru, Džerald deli sa nama lične žrtve koje je pravio kako bi postigao uspeh u gornjim ešalonima američkog društva, i pokazuje zašto je došlo vreme da skupimo hrabrost da živimo sirovu, čudnovatu čaroliju našeg sopstva.
Casey Gerald - American
Casey Gerald chronicles the current state of the American Dream and explores ways to sustain it for a new generation. Full bio
Casey Gerald chronicles the current state of the American Dream and explores ways to sustain it for a new generation. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:12
[This talk contains mature content]
0
40
3720
[Ovaj govor predstavlja
sadržaj za odrasle]
sadržaj za odrasle]
00:16
My mother called this summer
to stage an intervention.
to stage an intervention.
1
4680
5816
Letos me je majka nazvala
kako bi intervenisala.
kako bi intervenisala.
00:22
She'd come across
a few snippets of my memoir,
a few snippets of my memoir,
2
10520
5976
Naletela je na nekoliko
odlomaka iz mojih memoara,
odlomaka iz mojih memoara,
00:28
which wasn't even out yet,
3
16520
1736
koji još uvek nisu bili objavljeni,
00:30
and she was concerned.
4
18280
1200
i bila je zabrinuta.
00:33
It wasn't the sex.
5
21040
1696
Nije se radilo o seksu.
00:34
(Laughter)
6
22760
1776
(Smeh)
00:36
It was the language that disturbed her.
7
24560
3120
Jezik ju je uznemirio.
00:40
For example:
8
28520
1200
Na primer:
00:43
"I have been so many things
9
31760
2056
„Bio sam toliko toga
00:45
along my curious journey:
10
33840
1720
tokom mog neobičnog putovanja:
00:48
a poor boy, a nigger,
11
36520
2736
siromašni dečak, crnčuga,
00:51
a Yale man, a Harvard man,
12
39280
2816
čovek sa Jejla, čovek sa Harvarda,
00:54
a faggot, a Christian,
13
42120
2616
peder, hrišćanin,
00:56
a crack baby, alleged,
14
44760
2096
dete ovisnice o kreku, navodno,
00:58
the spawn of Satan, the Second Coming,
15
46880
2976
potomak Satane, drugi Hristov dolazak,
01:01
Casey."
16
49880
1200
Kejsi.“
01:03
That's just page six.
17
51640
1656
To je tek šesta strana.
01:05
(Laughter)
18
53320
1696
(Smeh)
01:07
So you may understand my mother's worry.
19
55040
2040
Pa možete da razumete majčinu zabrinutost.
01:10
But she wanted only to make
one small change.
one small change.
20
58840
5016
Međutim, htela je samo da unese
jednu malu ispravku.
jednu malu ispravku.
01:15
So she called, and she began,
21
63880
2360
Pa je nazvala i otpočela je:
01:19
"Hey, you are a man.
22
67520
3400
„Hej, ti si čovek.
01:23
You're not a faggot, you're not a punk,
23
71880
2696
Nisi peder, nisi propalica,
01:26
and let me tell you the difference.
24
74600
1696
i dozvoli da ti kažem razliku.
01:28
You are prominent. You are intelligent.
25
76320
2576
Ti si ugledan. Ti si inteligentan.
01:30
You dress well. You know how to speak.
26
78920
1976
Oblačiš se lepo. Znaš da se izražavaš.
01:32
People like you.
27
80920
1536
Sviđaš se ljudima.
01:34
You don't walk around
doing your hand like a punk.
doing your hand like a punk.
28
82480
2936
Ne šetaš okolo sa ispruženom
rukom kao propalica.
rukom kao propalica.
01:37
You're not a vagabond on the street.
29
85440
2336
Nisi ulična skitnica.
01:39
You are an upstanding person
30
87800
2496
Ti si cenjena osoba
01:42
who just happens to be gay.
31
90320
1800
koja je igrom slučaja gej.
01:44
Don't put yourself over there
32
92920
2736
Ne smeštaj sebe tamo
01:47
when you are over here."
33
95680
2120
kada ti je mesto ovde.“
01:51
She thought she'd done me a favor,
34
99480
1640
Mislila je da mi je učinila uslugu,
01:54
and in a way, she had.
35
102440
1320
a na neki način i jeste.
01:56
Her call clarified
what I am trying to do with my life
what I am trying to do with my life
36
104920
6336
Njen poziv je razjasnio
ono što pokušavam da učinim u životu
ono što pokušavam da učinim u životu
02:03
and in my work as a writer,
37
111280
2616
i u svom poslu kao pisac,
02:05
which is to send one simple message:
38
113920
2800
a to je da pošaljem jednu prostu poruku:
02:09
the way we're taught to live
has got to change.
has got to change.
39
117560
3440
način na koji smo naučili da živimo
mora da se promeni.
mora da se promeni.
02:14
I learned this the hard way.
40
122160
2056
Naučio sam ovo na teži način.
02:16
I was born not on
the wrong side of the tracks,
the wrong side of the tracks,
41
124240
2216
Nisam rođen na pogrešnom koloseku,
02:18
but on the wrong side of a whole river,
42
126480
1975
već skroz na pogrešnoj strani reke
02:20
the Trinity, down in Oak Cliff, Texas.
43
128479
3177
Triniti, dole u Oak Klifu u Teksasu.
02:23
I was raised there
in part by my grandmother
in part by my grandmother
44
131680
2416
Tu su me podigli naizmenično moja baka,
02:26
who worked as a domestic,
45
134120
1296
koja je radila kao kućna pomoćnica,
02:27
and by my sister,
46
135440
2096
i moja sestra,
02:29
who adopted me
a few years after our mother,
a few years after our mother,
47
137560
3536
koja me je usvojila nekoliko godina
nakon što je naša majka,
nakon što je naša majka,
02:33
who struggled with mental illness,
48
141120
1976
koja je bolovala od mentalne bolesti,
02:35
disappeared.
49
143120
1816
nestala.
02:36
And it was that disappearance,
50
144960
2016
A taj nestanak,
02:39
that began when I was 13
and lasted for five years,
and lasted for five years,
51
147000
3496
koji je počeo kad mi je bilo 13 godina
i trajao je pet godina,
i trajao je pet godina,
02:42
that shaped the person I became,
52
150520
1720
oblikovao me je u osobu koja sam postao,
02:45
the person I later had to unbecome.
53
153200
2640
osobu koja sam kasnije morao
da prestanem da budem.
da prestanem da budem.
02:49
Before she left, my mother
had been my human hiding place.
had been my human hiding place.
54
157120
4296
Pre nego što je otišla, moja majka
je bila moje ljudsko skrovište.
je bila moje ljudsko skrovište.
02:53
She was the only other person
who seemed as strange as me,
who seemed as strange as me,
55
161440
4696
Bila je jedina druga osoba
koja se činila jednako neobičnom kao ja,
koja se činila jednako neobičnom kao ja,
02:58
beautifully strange,
56
166160
1256
prelepo neobičnom,
02:59
some mix of Blanche DuBois
from "A Streetcar Named Desire"
from "A Streetcar Named Desire"
57
167440
3536
nekakav spoj Blanš Duboa
iz „Tramvaja zvanog čežnja“
iz „Tramvaja zvanog čežnja“
03:03
and a 1980s Whitney Houston.
58
171000
1896
i Vitni Hjuston iz 1980-ih.
03:04
(Laughter)
59
172920
3256
(Smeh)
03:08
I'm not saying she was perfect,
60
176200
1480
Ne kažem da je bila savršena,
03:10
just that I sure benefited
from her imperfections.
from her imperfections.
61
178800
3296
već da sam zasigurno imao koristi
od njenih nesavršenosti.
od njenih nesavršenosti.
03:14
And maybe that's what magic is, after all:
62
182120
2656
A možda je, naposletku,
baš u tome čarolija:
baš u tome čarolija:
03:16
a useful mistake.
63
184800
1320
u korisnoj grešci.
03:19
So when she began to disappear
for days at a time,
for days at a time,
64
187280
2776
Pa kad je počela da nestaje,
ponekad danima,
ponekad danima,
okrenuo sam se nekakvoj
sopstvenoj čaroliji.
sopstvenoj čaroliji.
03:22
I turned to some magic of my own.
65
190080
1976
03:24
It struck me, as from above,
66
192080
2136
Sinulo mi je, kao iz neba,
03:26
that I could conjure up my mother
just by walking perfectly
just by walking perfectly
67
194240
4176
da mogu da prizovem moju majku
prosto hodajući savršeno
prosto hodajući savršeno
03:30
from my elementary school
at the top of a steep hill
at the top of a steep hill
68
198440
3136
od moje osnovne škole na vrhu strmog brda,
03:33
all the way down
to my grandmother's house,
to my grandmother's house,
69
201600
2976
pa skroz dole do bakine kuće,
03:36
placing one foot, and one foot only,
in each sidewalk square.
in each sidewalk square.
70
204600
4600
smeštajući jedno stopalo,
i to samo jedno stopalo
u svaki kvadrat na trotoaru.
u svaki kvadrat na trotoaru.
Nisam dozvoljavao deliću ijednog stopala
da dotakne liniju između kvadrata,
da dotakne liniju između kvadrata,
03:41
I couldn't let any part of any foot
touch the line between the square,
touch the line between the square,
71
209920
3336
03:45
I couldn't skip a square,
72
213280
1336
nisam smeo da preskočim kvadrat,
03:46
all the way to the last square
at the last blade of grass
at the last blade of grass
73
214640
3176
sve do poslednjeg kvadrata
kod poslednje vlati trave
kod poslednje vlati trave
03:49
that separated our lawn from our driveway.
74
217840
3616
koja je razdvajala naš travnjak
od ulaza u dvorište.
od ulaza u dvorište.
03:53
And I bullshit you not, it worked --
75
221480
3256
I ne zezam vas, delovalo je -
03:56
just once though.
76
224760
1200
iako samo jednom.
03:58
But if my perfect walk
could not bring my mother back,
could not bring my mother back,
77
226960
3936
Međutim, ako moj savršeni hod
nije mogao da vrati moju majku,
nije mogao da vrati moju majku,
04:02
I found that this approach had other uses.
78
230920
3320
otkrio sam da ovaj pristup
ima druge primene.
ima druge primene.
04:07
I found that everyone else
in charge around me
in charge around me
79
235240
2176
Otkrio sam da svi ostali
autoriteti oko mene
autoriteti oko mene
04:09
loved nothing more than perfection,
80
237440
2040
vole jedino savršenstvo,
04:12
obedience, submission.
81
240400
2776
poslušnost, pokornost.
04:15
Or at least if I submitted,
they wouldn't bother me too much.
they wouldn't bother me too much.
82
243200
2896
Ili će me bar, ako se potčinim,
manje uznemiravati.
manje uznemiravati.
04:18
So I took a bargain
83
246120
2736
Pa sam prihvatio pogodbu
04:20
that I'd later see in a prison,
a Stasi prison in Berlin,
a Stasi prison in Berlin,
84
248880
4336
koju ću kasnije da vidim u zatvoru,
Štazijinom zatvoru u Berlinu,
Štazijinom zatvoru u Berlinu,
04:25
on a sign that read,
85
253240
1456
na znaku na kom je pisalo:
04:26
"He who adapts can live tolerably."
86
254720
3000
„Onaj ko se prilagodi
može da živi podnošljivo.“
može da živi podnošljivo.“
04:31
It was a bargain that helped ensure
87
259040
1895
Bila je to pogodba koja je obezbeđivala
04:32
I had a place to stay and food to eat;
88
260959
4137
da imam smeštaj i hranu;
04:37
a bargain that won me praise
of teachers and kin, strangers;
of teachers and kin, strangers;
89
265120
4296
pogodba koja mi je donela pohvale
nastavnika i rodbine, stranaca;
nastavnika i rodbine, stranaca;
pogodba koja se isplatila
uveliko, kako se činilo,
uveliko, kako se činilo,
04:41
a bargain that paid off
big time, it seemed,
big time, it seemed,
90
269440
2136
04:43
when one day at 17, a man from Yale
showed up at my high school to recruit me
showed up at my high school to recruit me
91
271600
4616
kada se jednog dana u mojoj 17. godini
čovek sa Jejla pojavio
čovek sa Jejla pojavio
u mojoj srednjoj školi
da me vrbuje za fudbalsku ekipu sa Jejla.
da me vrbuje za fudbalsku ekipu sa Jejla.
04:48
for Yale's football team.
92
276240
1240
04:50
It felt as out of the blue to me then
as it may to you now.
as it may to you now.
93
278240
2960
Činilo mi se tada neočekivanim
kao što se možda sada čini vama.
kao što se možda sada čini vama.
04:53
The Yale man said -- everybody said --
94
281800
3296
Čovek sa Jejla je rekao - svi su rekli -
04:57
that this was the best thing
that could ever happen to me,
that could ever happen to me,
95
285120
3496
da je to nešto najbolje
što je moglo da mi se desi,
što je moglo da mi se desi,
nešto najbolje što je moglo
da se desi čitavoj zajednici.
da se desi čitavoj zajednici.
05:00
the best thing that could happen
to the whole community.
to the whole community.
96
288640
2656
05:03
"Take this ticket, boy," they told me.
97
291320
2560
„Uzmi ovu ulaznicu, dečače“, rekli su mi.
05:06
I was not so sure.
98
294840
1200
Nisam bio baš siguran.
05:09
Yale seemed another world entire:
99
297160
2576
Jejl se činio kao potpuno drugi svet:
05:11
a cold, foreign, hostile place.
100
299760
3680
hladno, strano, neprijateljsko mesto.
05:16
On the first day of my recruiting visit,
101
304360
1936
Prvog dana moje regruterske posete,
poslao sam poruku sestri
kao izgovor što mi se nije išlo.
kao izgovor što mi se nije išlo.
05:18
I texted my sister
an excuse for not going.
an excuse for not going.
102
306320
2136
05:20
"These people are so weird."
103
308480
1760
„Ovi ljudi su tako čudni.“
05:23
She replied, "You'll fit right in."
104
311000
3096
Odgovorila je: „Savršeno ćeš se uklopiti.“
05:26
(Laughter)
105
314120
2880
(Smeh)
05:30
I took the ticket
106
318080
1816
Prihvatio sam ulaznicu
05:31
and worked damn hard to fit right in.
107
319920
2176
i prokleto se silno trudio da se uklopim.
05:34
When my freshman advisor warned me
not to wear my fitted hats on campus ...
not to wear my fitted hats on campus ...
108
322120
4296
Kada me je moja savetnica za brucoše
upozorila da ne nosim kačkete na kampusu:
upozorila da ne nosim kačkete na kampusu:
05:38
"You're at Yale now. You don't have to
do that anymore," she said.
do that anymore," she said.
109
326440
3720
„Sada si na Jejlu. Ne moraš
više to da radiš“, rekla je.
više to da radiš“, rekla je.
05:43
I figured, this was just one
of the small prices
of the small prices
110
331280
2896
Mislio sam kako je ovo
tek jedna od manjih cena
tek jedna od manjih cena
05:46
that must be paid to make it.
111
334200
2040
koja mora da se plati zarad uspeha.
05:49
I paid them all, or tried,
112
337280
2896
Sve sam ih platio, ili sam pokušao,
05:52
and sure enough
they seemed to pay me back:
they seemed to pay me back:
113
340200
2736
i veoma brzo su počele,
kako se činilo, da mi uzvraćaju:
kako se činilo, da mi uzvraćaju:
05:54
made me a leader
on the varsity football team;
on the varsity football team;
114
342960
3336
postao sam vođa prve fudbalske ekipe;
05:58
got me into a not-so-secret society
115
346320
2416
upao sam u ne tako tajno društvo
06:00
and a job on Wall Street,
and later in Washington.
and later in Washington.
116
348760
2536
i dobio posao na Vol stritu,
a kasnije u Vašingtonu.
a kasnije u Vašingtonu.
06:03
Things were going so well
that I figured naturally
that I figured naturally
117
351320
3656
Stvari su tako dobro išle
da sam prirodno smatrao
da sam prirodno smatrao
06:07
I should be President
of the United States.
of the United States.
118
355000
2376
da bi trebalo da budem predsednik SAD-a.
06:09
(Laughter)
119
357400
3176
(Smeh)
06:12
But since I was only 24
120
360600
2376
Međutim, kako su mi bile tek 24 godine,
06:15
and since even presidents
have to start somewhere,
have to start somewhere,
121
363000
2856
a kako čak i predsednici
moraju da počnu negde,
moraju da počnu negde,
06:17
I settled instead on a run for Congress.
122
365880
3336
umesto toga sam se zadovoljio
kandidaturom za kongres.
kandidaturom za kongres.
06:21
Now, this was in the afterglow
of that great 2008 election:
of that great 2008 election:
123
369240
4376
Sad, ovo je bilo nakon
velikih izbora iz 2008,
velikih izbora iz 2008,
06:25
the election during which
a serious, moderate senator stressed,
a serious, moderate senator stressed,
124
373640
5136
izbora tokom kojih je ozbiljni,
umereni senator naglasio:
umereni senator naglasio:
06:30
"The message you've got to send
more than any other message
more than any other message
125
378800
3856
„Poruka koju morate da pošaljete
više od bilo koje druge poruke
više od bilo koje druge poruke
06:34
is that Barack Obama is just like us."
126
382680
3000
je da je Barak Obama isti kao mi.“
06:38
They sent that message so well
127
386520
1936
Toliko dobro su poslali tu poruku
06:40
that their campaign became
the gold standard of modern politics,
the gold standard of modern politics,
128
388480
3176
da je njihova kampanja postala
zlatni standard savremene politike,
zlatni standard savremene politike,
06:43
if not modern life,
which also seems to demand
which also seems to demand
129
391680
3456
ako ne i savremenog života
koji, kako se čini, takođe zahteva
koji, kako se čini, takođe zahteva
06:47
that we each do whatever it takes
to be able to say at the end of our days
to be able to say at the end of our days
130
395160
4696
da svi mi uradimo šta god je potrebno
da bismo mogli reći na kraju naših dana,
da bismo mogli reći na kraju naših dana,
06:51
with peace and satisfaction,
"I was just like everybody else."
"I was just like everybody else."
131
399880
4536
pomireni i sa zadovoljstvom:
„Bio sam isti kao i svi drugi.“
„Bio sam isti kao i svi drugi.“
06:56
And this would be my message, too.
132
404440
2680
A to bi bila i moja poruka.
07:00
So one night, I made one final call
to my prospective campaign manager.
to my prospective campaign manager.
133
408480
5520
Pa sam jedne noći obavio poslednji poziv
sa mojim uvaženim menadžerom kampanje.
sa mojim uvaženim menadžerom kampanje.
07:07
We'd do the things it'd take to win,
but first he had one question:
but first he had one question:
134
415320
4600
Uradićemo što je potrebno da pobedimo,
ali prvo je imao jedno pitanje:
ali prvo je imao jedno pitanje:
07:13
"Is there anything I need to know?"
135
421120
1760
„Ima li nešto što bi trebalo da znam?“
07:16
I held the phone and finally said,
136
424240
3376
Držao sam telefon i naposletku rekao:
07:19
"Well, you should probably know I'm gay."
137
427640
2400
„Pa, verovatno bi trebalo
da znaš da sam gej.“
da znaš da sam gej.“
07:23
Silence.
138
431920
1200
Tišina.
07:26
"Hmm. I see," he nearly whispered,
139
434560
3816
„Hmm. Razumem“, skoro da je prošaputao,
07:30
as if he'd found a shiny penny
or a dead baby bird.
or a dead baby bird.
140
438400
3736
kao da je pronašao blistavi novčić
ili mrtvu ptičicu.
ili mrtvu ptičicu.
07:34
(Laughter)
141
442160
1056
(Smeh)
07:35
"I'm glad you told me," he continued.
142
443240
2816
„Drago mi je što si
mi rekao“, nastavio je.
mi rekao“, nastavio je.
07:38
"You definitely didn't make
my job any easier.
my job any easier.
143
446080
2176
„Definitivno mi nisi olakšao posao.
07:40
I mean, you are in Texas.
144
448280
1776
Mislim, u Teksasu si.
07:42
But it's not impossible, not impossible.
145
450080
3080
Međutim, nije nemoguće, nije nemoguće.
07:46
But Casey, let me ask you something:
146
454200
1960
Kejsi, dozvoli da te nešto pitam:
07:49
How are you going to feel when somebody,
say, at a rally, calls you a faggot?
say, at a rally, calls you a faggot?
147
457080
5520
kako ćeš da se osećaš kada te neko,
recimo na mitingu, nazove pederom?
recimo na mitingu, nazove pederom?
07:55
And let's be real, OK?
148
463520
1440
I budimo realni, u redu?
07:57
You do understand that somebody
might want to physically harm you.
might want to physically harm you.
149
465720
3480
Razumeš da će neko možda želeti
da te fizički povredi.
da te fizički povredi.
08:02
I just want to know:
150
470160
1936
Samo želim da znam:
08:04
Are you really ready for this?"
151
472120
2080
da li si stvarno spreman za ovo?“
08:07
I wasn't.
152
475720
1736
Nisam bio.
08:09
And I could not understand --
153
477480
3016
I nisam mogao da razumem -
08:12
could hardly breathe
154
480520
2856
jedva sam mogao da dišem,
08:15
or think, or say a word.
155
483400
2760
razmišljam ili progovorim.
08:19
But to be clear:
the boy that I was at that time
the boy that I was at that time
156
487400
2576
Da pojasnim: dečak koji sam tad bio
08:22
would have leapt
at the chance to be harmed,
at the chance to be harmed,
157
490000
2616
bi se zaleteo na priliku da bude povređen,
08:24
to sacrifice everything,
even life, for a cause.
even life, for a cause.
158
492640
2920
da žrtvuje sve, čak i život, zarad cilja.
08:28
There was something shocking, though --
159
496840
2696
Bilo je tu nešto šokantno, ipak -
08:31
not that there should have been,
but there was --
but there was --
160
499560
2736
ne znači da je trebalo
da bude, ali bilo je -
da bude, ali bilo je -
08:34
in the notion that he might be harmed
for nothing more than being himself,
for nothing more than being himself,
161
502320
4936
u pomisli da bi mogao da bude povređen
samo zbog toga što je to što jeste,
samo zbog toga što je to što jeste,
08:39
which he had not even tried
to do in the first place.
to do in the first place.
162
507280
2480
a što prvenstveno
nije ni pokušavao da bude.
nije ni pokušavao da bude.
08:42
All that he -- all that I --
163
510640
3015
Sve što je on - sve što sam ja -
08:45
had tried to do and be
was what I thought was asked of me.
was what I thought was asked of me.
164
513679
4377
pokušavao da budem i što sam bio je bilo
ono što sam smatrao da se traži od mene.
ono što sam smatrao da se traži od mene.
08:50
I was prominent for a 24-year-old:
165
518080
3536
Bio sam ugledan za 24-godišnjaka:
08:53
intelligent, I spoke well, dressed decent;
I was an upstanding citizen.
I was an upstanding citizen.
166
521640
4440
inteligentan, lepo sam se izražavao,
pristojno odevao; bio sam uzoran građanin.
pristojno odevao; bio sam uzoran građanin.
08:59
But the bargain I had accepted
could not save me after all,
could not save me after all,
167
527040
4800
Međutim, pogodba koju sam prihvatio
ipak nije mogla da me spasi,
ipak nije mogla da me spasi,
09:04
nor can it save you.
168
532960
1200
a ne može da spasi ni vas.
09:07
You may have already learned this lesson,
169
535600
1976
Možda ste već naučili ovu lekciju
09:09
or you will, regardless of your sexuality.
170
537600
3440
ili ćete naučiti, bez obzira
na vašu seksualnost.
na vašu seksualnost.
09:13
The queer receives
a concentrated dose, no doubt,
a concentrated dose, no doubt,
171
541840
3936
Kvir pojedinci dobijaju
koncentrisanu dozu, nesumnjivo,
koncentrisanu dozu, nesumnjivo,
09:17
but repression is a bitter pill
that's offered to us all.
that's offered to us all.
172
545800
4320
ali represija je gorka tableta
koju nude svima nama.
koju nude svima nama.
09:23
We're taught to hide so many parts
of who we are and what we've been through:
of who we are and what we've been through:
173
551640
3656
Naučeni smo da skrivamo toliko delova
nas samih i onog kroz šta smo prošli:
nas samih i onog kroz šta smo prošli:
09:27
our love, our pain, for some, our faith.
174
555320
2840
našu ljubav, naš bol, neki i našu veru.
09:31
So while coming out
to the world can be hard,
to the world can be hard,
175
559240
2320
Iako razotkrivanje pred svetom
može da bude teško,
može da bude teško,
09:34
coming in to all the raw, strange magic
of ourselves can be much harder.
of ourselves can be much harder.
176
562760
4416
zadiranje u sirovu, čudnovatu čaroliju
nas samih može da bude još teže.
nas samih može da bude još teže.
09:39
As Miles Davis said, "It takes a long time
to sound like yourself."
to sound like yourself."
177
567200
3960
Kao što je Majls Dejvis govorio: "Potrebno
je dugo vremena da zazvučite kao vi."
je dugo vremena da zazvučite kao vi."
09:44
That surely was the case for me.
178
572320
1560
To je zasigurno bio moj slučaj.
09:47
I had my private revelation
that night at 24,
that night at 24,
179
575240
2576
Imao sam lično prosvetljenje
te noći sa 24 godine,
te noći sa 24 godine,
09:49
but mostly went on with my life.
180
577840
2136
ali sam uglavnom nastavio
dalje sa životom.
dalje sa životom.
09:52
I went on to Harvard Business School,
started a successful nonprofit,
started a successful nonprofit,
181
580000
4216
Krenuo sam na Poslovnu školu na Harvardu,
osnovao uspešnu neprofitnu organizaciju,
osnovao uspešnu neprofitnu organizaciju,
09:56
wound up on the cover of a magazine,
on the stage at TED.
on the stage at TED.
182
584240
2936
završio na naslovnici časopisa,
na sceni TED-a.
na sceni TED-a.
09:59
(Laughter)
183
587200
1656
(Smeh)
10:00
I had achieved, by my late 20s,
184
588880
1576
Postigao sam do kasnih dvadesetih
10:02
about everything
a kid is supposed to achieve.
a kid is supposed to achieve.
185
590480
2440
otprilike sve što bi klinac
trebalo da ostvari.
trebalo da ostvari.
10:06
But I was real cracked up:
186
594360
1320
Međutim, zaista sam se slamao.
10:09
not exactly having a nervous breakdown,
but not too far off,
but not too far off,
187
597440
4216
Nisam baš imao nervni slom,
ali nisam ni bio predaleko od toga,
ali nisam ni bio predaleko od toga,
10:13
and awful sad either way.
188
601680
1520
i svakako sam bio veoma tužan.
10:16
I had never thought of being a writer,
189
604280
2776
Nikad nisam pomišljao da postanem pisac,
10:19
didn't even read, in earnest,
until I was nearly 23.
until I was nearly 23.
190
607080
3320
nisam čak ni previše čitao,
sve do svoje skoro 23. godine.
sve do svoje skoro 23. godine.
Međutim, knjižarstvo
je otprilike jedina industrija
je otprilike jedina industrija
10:23
But the book business
is about the only industry
is about the only industry
191
611640
2256
10:25
that will pay you to investigate
your own problems, so --
your own problems, so --
192
613920
2896
koja vam plaća da istražujete
sopstvene probleme, pa -
sopstvene probleme, pa -
10:28
(Laughter)
193
616840
3400
(Smeh)
10:34
So I decided to give it a try,
194
622800
2160
Pa sam odlučio da se okušam,
10:38
to trace those cracks with words.
195
626000
2960
da pokušam rečima da opišem te pukotine.
10:42
Now, what came out on the page was
about as strange as I felt at that time,
about as strange as I felt at that time,
196
630640
4256
Sad, ono što je izašlo na papir
je bilo čudno kao i moja osećanja tada,
je bilo čudno kao i moja osećanja tada,
10:46
which alarmed some people at first.
197
634920
2856
a to je u početku uznemirilo neke ljude.
10:49
A respected writer called
to stage his own intervention
to stage his own intervention
198
637800
2816
Jedan uvaženi pisac me je nazvao
kako bi i sam intervenisao
kako bi i sam intervenisao
10:52
after reading a few early chapters,
199
640640
3056
nakon što je pročitao
nekoliko prvih poglavlja
nekoliko prvih poglavlja
10:55
and he began, much like my mother,
200
643720
3736
i otpočeo je, baš poput moje majke:
10:59
"Hey, listen.
201
647480
2360
„Hej, slušaj.
11:02
You've been hired
to write an autobiography.
to write an autobiography.
202
650800
2376
Angažovan si da napišeš autobiografiju.
11:05
It's a straightforward exercise.
203
653200
1856
To je jednostavna vežba.
11:07
It's got a beginning, middle and end,
204
655080
1816
Ima početak, sredinu i kraj,
11:08
and is grounded in the facts of your life.
205
656920
2496
i zasnovana je na činjenicama
iz tvog života.
iz tvog života.
11:11
And by the way, there's a great tradition
of autobiography in this country,
of autobiography in this country,
206
659440
3576
I usput, imamo značajnu tradiciju
autobiografskog pisanja u našoj državi,
autobiografskog pisanja u našoj državi,
11:15
led by people on the margins of society
who write to assert their existence.
who write to assert their existence.
207
663040
5056
predvođenu ljudima sa margina društva
koji pišu da bi istakli svoje postojanje.
koji pišu da bi istakli svoje postojanje.
11:20
Go buy some of those books
and learn from them.
and learn from them.
208
668120
3416
Kupi neke od tih knjiga i uči od njih.
11:23
You're going in the wrong direction."
209
671560
2800
Ideš u pogrešnom smeru.“
11:27
But I no longer believed
what we are taught --
what we are taught --
210
675680
3496
Međutim, više nisam verovao
u ono čemu su nas podučavali -
u ono čemu su nas podučavali -
11:31
that the right direction
is the safe direction.
is the safe direction.
211
679200
2456
da je pravi smer bezbedan smer.
11:33
I no longer believed what we are taught --
212
681680
2176
Više nisam verovao
čemu su nas podučavali -
čemu su nas podučavali -
11:35
that queer lives or black lives
or poor lives are marginal lives.
or poor lives are marginal lives.
213
683880
3496
da su životi kvir ljudi ili crnaca
ili siromašnih marginalni životi.
ili siromašnih marginalni životi.
Verovao sam u ono što Kendrik Lamar
kaže u pesmi „Section.80“:
kaže u pesmi „Section.80“:
11:39
I believed what Kendrick Lamar
says on "Section.80.":
says on "Section.80.":
214
687400
3520
11:43
"I'm not on the outside looking in.
215
691640
3296
„Ne gledam spolja ka unutra.
11:46
I'm not on the inside looking out.
216
694960
1936
Ne gledam iznutra ka spolja.
11:48
I'm in the dead fucking center
looking around."
looking around."
217
696920
2416
Tačno sam u jebenom središtu
i osvrćem se okolo.“
i osvrćem se okolo.“
11:51
(Laughter)
218
699360
1456
(Smeh)
11:52
That was the place
219
700840
1976
To je bilo mesto
11:54
from which I hoped to work,
220
702840
2176
sa kog sam se nadao da ću da delam,
11:57
headed in the only direction worth going,
the direction of myself,
the direction of myself,
221
705040
3456
zapućen u jedinom pravcu
u kom se vredi kretati, u pravcu sebe,
u kom se vredi kretati, u pravcu sebe,
12:00
trying to help us all
refuse the awful bargains
refuse the awful bargains
222
708520
3856
pokušavajući da pomognem svima nama
da odbacimo užasnu pogodbu
da odbacimo užasnu pogodbu
12:04
we've been taught to take.
223
712400
1280
koju smo naučili da prihvatamo.
12:06
We're taught to turn ourselves
224
714680
2176
Naučeni smo da pretvorimo sebe
12:08
and our work into little nuggets
that are easily digestible;
that are easily digestible;
225
716880
4056
i svoja dela u sićušne zalogaje
koje je lako svariti;
koje je lako svariti;
12:12
taught to mutilate ourselves
so that we make sense to others,
so that we make sense to others,
226
720960
3376
naučeni smo da se sakatimo
kako bismo imali smisla drugima,
kako bismo imali smisla drugima,
12:16
to be a stranger to ourselves
so the right people might befriend us
so the right people might befriend us
227
724360
3576
da budemo stranci sebi samima kako bi
smo se sprijateljili s pravim ljudima
smo se sprijateljili s pravim ljudima
12:19
and the right schools might accept us,
and the right jobs might hire us,
and the right jobs might hire us,
228
727960
3416
i kako bi nas prave škole primile
i da bismo se zaposlili
na pravim poslovima,
na pravim poslovima,
12:23
and the right parties might invite us,
229
731400
1856
i kako bi nas pozvali na prave žurke,
12:25
and, someday, the right God
might invite us to the right heaven
might invite us to the right heaven
230
733280
3176
i kako bi nas, jednog dana,
pravi bog pozvao u pravi raj
pravi bog pozvao u pravi raj
12:28
and close his pearly gates behind us,
231
736480
1976
i zatvorio svoja biserna vrata za nama,
12:30
so we can bow down to Him
forever and ever.
forever and ever.
232
738480
2536
kako bismo mogli
da mu se klanjamo na vek vekova.
da mu se klanjamo na vek vekova.
12:33
These are the rewards, they say,
233
741040
2416
Ovo su nagrade, kažu,
12:35
for our obedience:
234
743480
1360
za našu poslušnost:
12:37
to be a well-liked holy nugget,
235
745640
2936
da postanete uvaženi sveti zalogaj,
12:40
to be dead.
236
748600
1200
da budete mrtvi.
12:42
And I say in return, "No, thank you."
237
750640
3720
A ja kažem na to: „Ne, hvala.“
12:47
To the world and to my mother.
238
755480
2760
Svetu i mojoj majci.
12:51
Well, to tell you the truth,
239
759520
1376
Pa, da budem iskren,
12:52
all I said was, "OK, Mom,
I'll talk to you later."
I'll talk to you later."
240
760920
2376
samo sam rekao: „U redu, mama,
pričaćemo kasnije.“
pričaćemo kasnije.“
12:55
(Laughter)
241
763320
1296
(Smeh)
12:56
But in my mind, I said, "No, thank you."
242
764640
3336
Međutim, u sebi sam rekao: „Ne, hvala.“
13:00
I cannot accept her bargain either.
243
768000
3400
Ne mogu ni njenu pogodbu da prihvatim.
13:04
Nor should you.
244
772280
1200
A ne treba ni vi.
13:06
It would be easy
for many of us in rooms like this
for many of us in rooms like this
245
774360
4456
Bilo bi lako za mnoge od nas
u prostorijama poput ove
u prostorijama poput ove
13:10
to see ourselves as safe,
246
778840
2896
da na sebe gledamo
kao da smo na bezbednom,
kao da smo na bezbednom,
13:13
to keep ourselves over here.
247
781760
2520
da se držimo tu.
13:17
We speak well, we dress decent,
248
785520
2976
Lepo se izražavamo, pristojno odevamo,
13:20
we're intelligent, people like us,
or act like they do.
or act like they do.
249
788520
3920
inteligentni smo, sviđamo se ljudima,
ili se oni ponašaju kao da im se sviđamo.
ili se oni ponašaju kao da im se sviđamo.
13:25
But instead, I say that we
should remember Lot's wife.
should remember Lot's wife.
250
793440
4280
Međutim, umesto toga, tvrdim
da bi trebalo da se setimo Lotove žene.
da bi trebalo da se setimo Lotove žene.
13:31
Jesus of Nazareth said it
first to his disciples:
first to his disciples:
251
799200
3176
Isus iz Nazareta je to prvo rekao
svojim učenicima:
svojim učenicima:
13:34
"Remember Lot's wife."
252
802400
2440
„Setite se Lotove žene.“
13:38
Lot, in case you haven't
read the Bible recently,
read the Bible recently,
253
806240
3376
Lot, u slučaju da niste
skoro čitali Bibliju,
skoro čitali Bibliju,
13:41
was a man who set
his family down in Sodom,
his family down in Sodom,
254
809640
3256
je bio čovek koji se smestio
sa porodicom dole u Sodomi,
sa porodicom dole u Sodomi,
13:44
in the midst of a wicked society
that God decided he had to destroy.
that God decided he had to destroy.
255
812920
4560
u središtu rđavog društva
koje je Bog odlučio da mora da uništi.
koje je Bog odlučio da mora da uništi.
13:50
But God, being cruel,
yet still a sap in part,
yet still a sap in part,
256
818280
2736
Međutim, Bog, budući okrutan,
no ipak malčice i luckast,
no ipak malčice i luckast,
13:53
rushed two angels out to Sodom
to warn Lot to gather up his folks
to warn Lot to gather up his folks
257
821040
4296
požurio je dva anđela da pođu u Sodomu
i upozore Lota da okupi svoje
i upozore Lota da okupi svoje
13:57
and get out of Dodge.
258
825360
1200
i da uhvati maglu.
13:59
Lot heard the angel's warning, but delayed.
259
827480
3296
Lot je čuo anđeosko upozorenje,
međutim, odlagao je.
međutim, odlagao je.
14:02
They didn't have all day to wait,
so they grabbed Lot's hands
so they grabbed Lot's hands
260
830800
3256
Nisu imali čitav dan da čekaju,
pa su zgrabili Lotovu ruku
pa su zgrabili Lotovu ruku
14:06
and his two daughters' hands,
and his wife's hands,
and his wife's hands,
261
834080
2856
ruke njegove dve kćerke,
i ruke njegove supruge
i ruke njegove supruge
14:08
and hurried them out of Sodom.
262
836960
2056
i požurili su s njima van Sodome.
14:11
And the angels shout,
263
839040
1576
I anđeli su povikali:
14:12
"Escape to the mountain.
Whatever you do, don't look back,"
Whatever you do, don't look back,"
264
840640
3536
„Bežite u planinu. Šta god radili,
ne osvrćite se nazad“,
ne osvrćite se nazad“,
14:16
just as God starts raining down fire
on Sodom and Gomorrah.
on Sodom and Gomorrah.
265
844200
3936
baš u trenutku kada je Bog počeo
da suklja vatru na Sodomu i Gomoru.
da suklja vatru na Sodomu i Gomoru.
14:20
I can't figure out how Gomorrah
got dragged into this.
got dragged into this.
266
848160
2616
Ne shvatam kako je Gomora
uvučena u sve ovo.
uvučena u sve ovo.
14:22
But Lot and his folks are running,
267
850800
2976
Međutim, Lot i njegovi trče,
14:25
fleeing all that destruction,
268
853800
1656
beže od sveg tog uništenja,
14:27
kicking up dust while the Lord
rains down death,
rains down death,
269
855480
2976
podižu prašinu dok Gospod seje smrt,
14:30
and then, for some reason,
Lot's wife looks back.
Lot's wife looks back.
270
858480
5280
a onda, iz nekog razloga,
Lotova žena se osvrće nazad.
Lotova žena se osvrće nazad.
14:36
God turns her into a pillar of salt.
271
864920
2240
Bog je pretvara u stub soli.
14:40
"Remember Lot's wife," Jesus says.
272
868600
3680
„Setite se Lotove žene“, kaže Isus.
14:45
But I've got a question:
273
873920
1200
Međutim, pitam se:
14:48
Why does she look back?
274
876600
1200
zašto se osvrnula nazad?
14:51
Does she look back because
she didn't want to miss the mayhem,
she didn't want to miss the mayhem,
275
879520
3776
Da li se osvrnula nazad
jer nije želela da propusti pustošenje,
jer nije želela da propusti pustošenje,
14:55
wanted one last glimpse of a city on fire?
276
883320
2400
želela je da baci poslednji pogled
na grad u plamenu?
na grad u plamenu?
Da li se osvrnula nazad jer je želela
da se uveri da su njeni ljudi
da se uveri da su njeni ljudi
14:59
Does she look back because she wanted
to be sure that her people
to be sure that her people
277
887160
3016
15:02
were far enough from danger
to breathe a little easy?
to breathe a little easy?
278
890200
2936
daleko od opasnosti kako bi malo odahnula?
15:05
I'm so nosy and selfish sometimes,
those likely would have been my reasons
those likely would have been my reasons
279
893160
3656
Ponekad sam takvo sebično njuškalo
da bi to verovatno bili moji razlozi,
da bi to verovatno bili moji razlozi,
15:08
if I'd been in her shoes.
280
896840
1240
da sam bio na njenom mestu.
15:11
But what if something else was going on
with this woman, Lot's wife?
with this woman, Lot's wife?
281
899240
5520
Međutim, šta ako se nešto drugo dešavalo
s ovom ženom, Lotovom suprugom?
s ovom ženom, Lotovom suprugom?
15:18
What if she could not bear the thought
of leaving those people
of leaving those people
282
906080
5456
Šta ako nije mogla da podnese misao
da ostavlja sve te ljude
da ostavlja sve te ljude
15:23
all alone to burn alive,
283
911560
2616
da sami živi izgore,
15:26
even for righteousness's sake?
284
914200
1720
čak ni u ime pravednosti?
15:28
Isn't that possible?
285
916880
1200
Zar to nije moguće?
15:31
If it is, then this backward glance
of a disobedient woman
of a disobedient woman
286
919360
5176
Ako je tako, onda ovaj
osvrt nazad neposlušne žene
osvrt nazad neposlušne žene
15:36
may not be a cautionary tale after all.
287
924560
2376
možda naposletku i nije opomena.
15:38
It may be the bravest act
in all the Bible,
in all the Bible,
288
926960
3296
Možda se radi o najhrabrijem činu
u čitavoj Bibliji,
u čitavoj Bibliji,
15:42
even braver than the act
that holds the whole Book together,
that holds the whole Book together,
289
930280
2936
čak i hrabrijem od čina
koji ovu knjigu drži na okupu,
koji ovu knjigu drži na okupu,
15:45
the crucifixion.
290
933240
1200
raspeća.
15:47
We are told that up on Calvary,
on an old rugged cross,
on an old rugged cross,
291
935080
5096
Rečeno je da je gore na Golgoti,
na starom ofucanom krstu,
na starom ofucanom krstu,
15:52
Jesus gave his life to save everybody:
292
940200
1896
Isus dao svoj život da spasi sve ljude:
15:54
billions and billions of strangers
for all time to come.
for all time to come.
293
942120
2920
milijarde i milijarde stranaca
za sva buduća vremena.
za sva buduća vremena.
15:57
It's a nice thing to do.
294
945840
1856
To je lep postupak.
15:59
It made him famous, that's for sure.
295
947720
1736
Proslavio ga je, zasigurno.
16:01
(Laughter)
296
949480
1816
(Smeh)
16:03
But Lot's wife was killed,
297
951320
2696
Međutim, Lotova žena je ubijena,
16:06
turned into a pillar of salt,
298
954040
2576
pretvorena u stub soli,
16:08
all because she could not
turn her back on her friends,
turn her back on her friends,
299
956640
4776
samo zato što nije mogla
da okrene leđa svojim prijateljima,
da okrene leđa svojim prijateljima,
16:13
the wicked men of Sodom,
300
961440
2896
rđavim ljudima iz Sodome,
16:16
and nobody even wrote
the woman's name down.
the woman's name down.
301
964360
3000
a niko čak nije ni zapisao ime te žene.
16:20
Oh, to have the courage of Lot's wife.
302
968880
3120
Ah, imati hrabrost Lotove žene.
16:25
That's the kind of courage we need today.
303
973040
3616
Taj vid hrabrosti nam je danas potreban.
16:28
The courage to put ourselves over there.
304
976680
3416
Hrabrost da se stavimo tamo.
16:32
The courage that says that either
all of us have to be faggots,
all of us have to be faggots,
305
980120
3256
Hrabrost koja kaže
da svi moramo da budemo pederi
da svi moramo da budemo pederi
16:35
or none of us can be faggots,
for any of us to be free.
for any of us to be free.
306
983400
4376
ili niko od nas ne može da bude peder,
kako bi bilo ko od nas bio slobodan.
kako bi bilo ko od nas bio slobodan.
16:39
The courage to stand
with other vagabonds in the street,
with other vagabonds in the street,
307
987800
4416
Hrabrost da stojimo
sa drugim skitnicama na ulici,
sa drugim skitnicama na ulici,
16:44
with all the wretched of the earth,
308
992240
2376
sa svim ubogim na zemlji,
16:46
to form an army of the least of these,
309
994640
2816
da osnujemo vojsku od potrebitih,
16:49
with the faith that from
the naked crust of all we are,
the naked crust of all we are,
310
997480
4336
s verom da smo svi goli došli na svet,
16:53
we can build a better world.
311
1001840
2320
možemo da sagradimo bolji svet.
16:56
Thank you.
312
1004920
1216
Hvala vam.
16:58
(Applause)
313
1006160
4600
(Aplauz)
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Casey Gerald - AmericanCasey Gerald chronicles the current state of the American Dream and explores ways to sustain it for a new generation.
Why you should listen
Casey Gerald has witnessed every facet of the American Dream -- from his harrowing childhood in Texas, to his tenure at the heights of America's elite institutions, to his journeys through the cities and towns of the American heartland where he has spent his recent years as cofounder and CEO of MBAs Across America. Now his work as a writer, speaker, and business leader centers on the question: will the American dream survive another generation?
Gerald began his career in economic policy and government innovation at the Center for American Progress, and he has worked as a strategist with startup social ventures such as The Future Project as well as companies like The Neiman Marcus Group.
Born and raised in Dallas, Gerald received an MBA from Harvard Business School, where he delivered the 2014 commencement address, and a BA in Political Science from Yale College. He has been featured on MSNBC, in The New York Times, Financial Times, The Guardian, and he has appeared on the cover of Fast Company, which also named him one of the "Most Creative People in Business." He currently serves on the advisory board of NPR's Generation Listen.
Casey Gerald | Speaker | TED.com