TEDxManchester
Aala El-Khani: What it's like to be a parent in a war zone
Aala El-Khani: 在战区做家长是怎样的体验呢
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当家园被战争撕裂时，家长们是如何保护孩子们并帮助他们重拾安全感的呢？在这个暖心的演讲当中，心理学家Aala El-Khani分享了她从事支持--同时也从中学习--那些被叙利亚内战所影响的难民家庭。她提问道：我们应该如何帮助这些家长给予他们的孩子温暖的，安全的，也是孩子们最需要的那种育儿呵护呢？
Aala El-Khani - Humanitarian psychologist
Aala El-Khani explores the needs of families affected by war and displacement and the mental health of children who have experienced armed conflict. Full bio
Aala El-Khani explores the needs of families affected by war and displacement and the mental health of children who have experienced armed conflict. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
世界范围内，超过15亿人
正经历着武装冲突。
正经历着武装冲突。
00:12
Worldwide, over 1.5 billion people
experience armed conflict.
experience armed conflict.
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结果就是，人们被迫
逃离他们的国家，
逃离他们的国家，
00:18
In response, people are forced
to flee their country,
to flee their country,
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00:21
leaving over 15 million refugees.
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留下超过1500万难民。
孩子，毋庸置疑，
00:25
Children, without a doubt,
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00:26
are the most innocent
and vulnerable victims ...
and vulnerable victims ...
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则是那些最无辜，
最脆弱的受害人。
最脆弱的受害人。
但并非仅仅是来自那些
显而易见的人身危害，
显而易见的人身危害，
00:30
but not just from
the obvious physical dangers,
the obvious physical dangers,
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00:33
but from the often unspoken effects
that wars have on their families.
that wars have on their families.
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而是来自战争对他们的家庭
造成的常常无言的影响。
造成的常常无言的影响。
战争经历使孩子们更易出现
00:38
The experiences of war
leave children at a real high risk
leave children at a real high risk
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00:41
for the development
of emotional and behavioral problems.
of emotional and behavioral problems.
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感情与行为发展方面的问题。
孩子们，仅仅是凭借我们的想象，
00:45
Children, as we can only imagine,
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00:47
will feel worried, threatened and at risk.
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他们会感到担忧，被威胁和危险。
但是也有好消息。
00:50
But there is good news.
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孩子们所得到的
来自家庭的照顾的品质
来自家庭的照顾的品质
00:52
The quality of care
that children receive in their families
that children receive in their families
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00:56
can have a more significant
effect on their well-being
effect on their well-being
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相比他们所经历过的那些战争创伤
00:59
than from the actual experiences of war
that they have been exposed to.
that they have been exposed to.
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对于他们的身心健康
有更加显著的作用。
有更加显著的作用。
所以，事实上，在冲突期间以及之后
温暖、安全的父母养育
温暖、安全的父母养育
01:04
So actually, children can be protected
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01:07
by warm, secure parenting
during and after conflict.
during and after conflict.
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是能够保护到孩子们的。
2011年，也就是我在曼彻斯特大学
01:13
In 2011, I was a first-year PhD student
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01:17
in the University of Manchester
School of Psychological Sciences.
School of Psychological Sciences.
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心理科学院读博的第一年。
就像你们中的很多人那样，
01:21
Like many of you here,
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01:22
I watched the crisis in Syria
unfold in front of me on the TV.
unfold in front of me on the TV.
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我在电视上目睹了叙利亚危机。
01:26
My family is originally from Syria,
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我的家庭原本就来自叙利亚，
01:28
and very early on,
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再之前，
01:30
I lost several family members
in really horrifying ways.
in really horrifying ways.
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以那种真正可怕的方式，
我失去了一些家庭成员。
我失去了一些家庭成员。
01:33
I'd sit and I'd gather with my family
and watch the TV.
and watch the TV.
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我和我的家人一起，
坐下来看电视。
坐下来看电视。
01:37
We've all seen those scenes:
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我们都看过那些景象：
01:38
bombs destroying buildings,
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炸弹摧毁楼房，
01:40
chaos, destruction
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混乱，破坏，
01:43
and people screaming and running.
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人们呼喊着，奔逃着。
那些嘶声裂肺的喊叫，逃跑的人们，
是最让我感触深刻的，
是最让我感触深刻的，
01:45
It was always the people screaming
and running that really got me the most,
and running that really got me the most,
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01:49
especially those
terrified-looking children.
terrified-looking children.
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特别是，那些面露惊恐的孩子们。
我是两个年幼的，
好奇心旺盛的孩子们的母亲。
好奇心旺盛的孩子们的母亲。
01:53
I was a mother to two young,
typically inquisitive children.
typically inquisitive children.
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01:57
They were five and six then,
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他们当时大概是五六岁的样子，
01:58
at an age where they typically
asked lots and lots of questions,
asked lots and lots of questions,
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在那样的年龄，他们通常
喜欢问好多好多的问题，
喜欢问好多好多的问题，
02:01
and expected real, convincing answers.
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期待着真实的，具有说服力的答案。
所以，我就开始思考，
如果我要在战争区，难民营
如果我要在战争区，难民营
02:05
So, I began to wonder
what it might be like
what it might be like
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02:07
to parent my children
in a war zone and a refugee camp.
in a war zone and a refugee camp.
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抚养我的孩子会是怎样的呢？
我的孩子们会变得不一样吗？
02:12
Would my children change?
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我的女儿那明亮的，
带笑的眼睛会失去神采吗？
带笑的眼睛会失去神采吗？
02:14
Would my daughter's bright,
happy eyes lose their shine?
happy eyes lose their shine?
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我的儿子那放松的，无忧无虑的性情
会变得胆怯而孤僻吗？
会变得胆怯而孤僻吗？
02:18
Would my son's really relaxed and carefree
nature become fearful and withdrawn?
nature become fearful and withdrawn?
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我又该如何应对呢？
02:24
How would I cope?
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我会变得不一样吗？
02:27
Would I change?
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作为心理学家兼家长培训员，
02:30
As psychologists and parent trainers,
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02:32
we know that arming parents
with skills in caring for their children
with skills in caring for their children
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我们知道教导家长育儿的技巧
02:36
can have a huge effect
on their well-being,
on their well-being,
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对他们孩子的健康成长
会有巨大的作用
会有巨大的作用
我们把这称为家长培训。
02:40
and we call this parent training.
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而我提出的问题就是，
02:42
The question I had was,
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02:44
could parent training programs
be useful for families
be useful for families
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家长培训项目对于仍处于
战争区的，或是难民营的家庭
是否会有用呢？
是否会有用呢？
02:48
while they were still in war zones
or refugee camps?
or refugee camps?
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02:51
Could we reach them
with advice or training
with advice or training
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我们是否能够带给他们建议与训练
02:54
that would help them
through these struggles?
through these struggles?
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来帮助他们度过这些挣扎呢？
所以说我就找到了我的博导，
02:57
So I approached my PhD supervisor,
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03:00
Professor Rachel Calam,
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雷切尔･卡勒门教授，
03:02
with the idea of using my academic skills
to make some change in the real world.
to make some change in the real world.
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和她讲述了我想要运用学术技能
帮助改变现实世界的想法。
帮助改变现实世界的想法。
我并不是很确定具体想要做什么。
03:06
I wasn't quite sure
what exactly I wanted to do.
what exactly I wanted to do.
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她很认真的，耐心的聆听了，
03:10
She listened carefully and patiently,
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03:11
and then to my joy she said,
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然后，让我感到
十分高兴的是，她说，
十分高兴的是，她说，
03:13
"If that's what you want to do,
and it means so much to you,
and it means so much to you,
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“如果你想要这样做，而且
它确实对你意义重大的话，
它确实对你意义重大的话，
03:16
then let's do it.
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让我们一起做吧。
03:17
Let's find ways to see if parent programs
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让我们找找办法，看看是否
能够让家长培训计划
能够让家长培训计划
03:20
can be useful for families
in these contexts."
in these contexts."
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对那种背景下的家庭也起效用。”
所以说，在过去的五年当中，
我和我的同事们--
我和我的同事们--
03:23
So for the past five years,
myself and my colleagues --
myself and my colleagues --
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03:26
Prof. Calam and Dr. Kim Cartwright --
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卡勒门教授和基姆･卡特莱特博士--
03:29
have been working
on ways to support families
on ways to support families
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一直在从事着寻找能帮助那些
03:31
that have experienced
war and displacement.
war and displacement.
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经历过战争或是
背井离乡的家庭的方法。
背井离乡的家庭的方法。
那么，想要知道如何帮助
那些经历过冲突的家庭
那些经历过冲突的家庭
03:35
Now, to know how to help families
that have been through conflict
that have been through conflict
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03:39
support their children,
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养育他们的孩子，
03:40
the first step must obviously be
to ask them what they're struggling with,
to ask them what they're struggling with,
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第一步，当然很明显是去
调查他们正在面对的问题，
调查他们正在面对的问题，
03:44
right?
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对吧？
03:45
I mean, it seems obvious.
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我的意思是，这应该是挺明确的。
但是，我们想要去帮助的，
常常是那些
常常是那些
03:46
But it's often those
that are the most vulnerable,
that are the most vulnerable,
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03:49
that we're trying to support,
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最脆弱的人群，
03:50
that we actually don't ask.
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而我们其实没有去询问他们。
03:52
How many times have we just assumed
we know exactly the right thing
we know exactly the right thing
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有多少次，我们就擅自假设
我们确切知道什么东西
我们确切知道什么东西
03:55
that's going to help someone or something
without actually asking them first?
without actually asking them first?
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能够帮助到他们，
却不事先询问他们？
却不事先询问他们？
03:59
So I travelled to refugee camps
in Syria and in Turkey,
in Syria and in Turkey,
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所以，我去了叙利亚
和土耳其的难民营，
和土耳其的难民营，
04:03
and I sat with families, and I listened.
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我和那些家庭坐在一起，
聆听他们的视角。
聆听他们的视角。
聆听他们的育儿挑战，
04:06
I listened to their parenting challenges,
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04:09
I listened to their parenting struggles
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聆听他们的育儿困难，
04:11
and I listened to their call for help.
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聆听他们寻求帮助的声音。
04:13
And sometimes that was just paused,
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有的时候会突然停下来，
04:15
as all I could do was hold hands with them
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而我能做的就是牵住他们的手，
04:17
and just join them
in silent crying and prayer.
in silent crying and prayer.
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加入他们无声的哭泣与祈祷当中。
他们和我诉说他们的艰难挣扎，
04:20
They told me about their struggles,
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04:23
they told me about the rough,
harsh refugee camp conditions
harsh refugee camp conditions
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他们告诉我那些艰苦，
严峻的难民营条件，
严峻的难民营条件，
04:26
that made it hard to focus
on anything but practical chores
on anything but practical chores
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这使得他们很难做任何事
而只能将注意力放在像是
而只能将注意力放在像是
04:30
like collecting clean water.
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收集干净水这样的
可以做的杂事上。
可以做的杂事上。
他们告诉我他们是如何
目睹孩子们变得孤僻；
目睹孩子们变得孤僻；
04:32
They told me how they watched
their children withdraw;
their children withdraw;
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那些伤感，压抑，愤怒，
04:35
the sadness, depression, anger,
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尿床，吮吸手指，
害怕巨大的声响，
害怕巨大的声响，
04:39
bed-wetting, thumb-sucking,
fear of loud noises,
fear of loud noises,
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对噩梦的恐惧--
04:42
fear of nightmares --
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可怕，非常可怕的噩梦。
04:44
terrifying, terrifying nightmares.
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04:46
These families had been through
what we had been watching on the TV.
what we had been watching on the TV.
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这些家庭经历了那些我们
在电视上看过的画面。
在电视上看过的画面。
这些母亲--
04:51
The mothers --
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她们中几乎一半的人，
因为战争成为了寡妇，
因为战争成为了寡妇，
04:52
almost half of them
were now widows of war,
were now widows of war,
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或者是根本不清楚
她们的丈夫是死是活--
她们的丈夫是死是活--
04:54
or didn't even know
if their husbands were dead or alive --
if their husbands were dead or alive --
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描述了她们感觉自己
在多么难过地接受一切。
在多么难过地接受一切。
04:57
described how they felt
they were coping so badly.
they were coping so badly.
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05:01
They watched their children change
and they had no idea how to help them.
and they had no idea how to help them.
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她们目睹着他们孩子们的改变，
却对此无能为力。
却对此无能为力。
她们不知道该如何回答
她们孩子们的提问。
她们孩子们的提问。
05:05
They didn't know how to answer
their children's questions.
their children's questions.
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我发现的难以置信般惊人的，
鼓舞人心的事情是
鼓舞人心的事情是
05:09
What I found incredibly astonishing
and so motivational
and so motivational
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05:12
was that these families were
so motivated to support their children.
so motivated to support their children.
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这些家庭居然这般积极的
去支持他们的孩子们。
去支持他们的孩子们。
05:17
Despite all these challenges they faced,
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尽管面临了这么多的挑战，
05:20
they were trying to help their children.
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他们仍然努力去帮助他们的孩子们。
他们尝试从非政府组织的工作人员，
05:22
They were making attempts
at seeking support from NGO workers,
at seeking support from NGO workers,
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从难民营教师那里，
05:26
from refugee camp teachers,
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专业的医务人员，
05:28
professional medics,
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或是其他家长那里寻求帮助。
05:29
other parents.
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我见过的，有一个妈妈，仅仅是
在一个难民营里呆了四天，
在一个难民营里呆了四天，
05:31
One mother I met had only been
in a camp for four days,
in a camp for four days,
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就曾两次试图
05:34
and had already made two attempts
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为她八岁的，受到噩梦折磨的女儿
05:35
at seeking support
for her eight-year-old daughter
for her eight-year-old daughter
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05:38
who was having terrifying nightmares.
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寻求帮助。
05:42
But sadly, these attempts
are almost always useless.
are almost always useless.
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但可悲的是，这些尝试
大多是无功而返。
大多是无功而返。
难民营的那些医生，
要是有医生的话，
要是有医生的话，
05:45
Refugee camp doctors, when available,
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05:47
are almost always too busy,
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总是要么太忙，
05:49
or don't have the knowledge or the time
for basic parenting supports.
for basic parenting supports.
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要么没有基本育儿帮助的
相关知识或时间。
相关知识或时间。
05:54
Refugee camp teachers and other parents
are just like them --
are just like them --
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难民营的教师或是其他家长，
也跟那些医生一样--
也跟那些医生一样--
成为新难民营的一部分，
为新的需求而奋斗。
为新的需求而奋斗。
05:58
part of a new refugee community
who's struggling with new needs.
who's struggling with new needs.
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06:03
So then we began to think.
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这时我们就会开始思考。
06:05
How could we help these families?
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我们应该如何帮助这些家庭呢？
06:09
The families were struggling with things
much bigger than they could cope with.
much bigger than they could cope with.
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这些家庭正与远超过
自身应对能力的事情做斗争。
自身应对能力的事情做斗争。
叙利亚危机已经让我们看清楚
06:13
The Syrian crisis made it clear
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想要从个体层面去帮助这些家庭
是多么不可思议般的不切实际。
是多么不可思议般的不切实际。
06:15
how incredibly impossible it would be
to reach families on an individual level.
to reach families on an individual level.
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那我们又能如何帮助他们呢？
06:20
How else could we help them?
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我们应该如何
在这些极度恐怖的时期
在这些极度恐怖的时期
06:22
How would we reach families
at a population level
at a population level
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对整个群体，以低成本方式
06:26
and low costs
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去帮助这些家庭呢？
06:29
in these terrifying, terrifying times?
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在与非政府组织工作人员
数小时的谈话之后，
数小时的谈话之后，
06:32
After hours of speaking to NGO workers,
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有一个人提出了一个
神奇的，新颖的观点
神奇的，新颖的观点
06:35
one suggested a fantastic innovative idea
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那就是通过面包包装袋
来宣传育儿信息页--
来宣传育儿信息页--
06:37
of distributing parenting
information leaflets via bread wrappers --
information leaflets via bread wrappers --
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就是那些在叙利亚战区
由人道主义工作人员
由人道主义工作人员
06:43
bread wrappers that were being delivered
to families in a conflict zone in Syria
to families in a conflict zone in Syria
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发放给家庭的面包包装袋。
06:47
by humanitarian workers.
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那就是我们所做的。
06:49
So that's what we did.
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06:51
The bread wrappers haven't changed
at all in their appearance,
at all in their appearance,
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那些面包包装袋的外表
一点儿也没有改变，
一点儿也没有改变，
除了增加了额外的两页纸。
06:54
except for the addition
of two pieces of paper.
of two pieces of paper.
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其中一页是一张育儿信息宣传页，
包括了一些基本的建议与信息，
包括了一些基本的建议与信息，
06:56
One was a parenting information leaflet
that had basic advice and information
that had basic advice and information
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07:01
that normalized to the parent
what they might be experiencing,
what they might be experiencing,
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普式化的阐述了
家长们可能正在经历的，
家长们可能正在经历的，
以及孩子们可能正在经历的东西。
07:05
and what their child
might be experiencing.
might be experiencing.
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07:07
And information on how they could
support themselves and their children,
support themselves and their children,
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一些关于他们应该如何帮助
他们自己和孩子们的信息，
他们自己和孩子们的信息，
07:11
such as information like spending
time talking to your child,
time talking to your child,
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比如花些时间和孩子们交流，
向他们展现更多爱意，
07:15
showing them more affection,
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对孩子们更加有耐心，
07:17
being more patient with your child,
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多和孩子们沟通。
07:19
talking to your children.
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07:21
The other piece of paper
was a feedback questionnaire,
was a feedback questionnaire,
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另外一张纸则是
一个反馈调查问卷，
一个反馈调查问卷，
当然，还有一支笔。
07:23
and of course, there was a pen.
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1600
07:26
So is this simply leaflet distribution,
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所以这仅仅是宣传页发放吗？
或者是实际的提供心理救急，
带来温暖的，安全的，充满爱意的
带来温暖的，安全的，充满爱意的
07:29
or is this actually a possible means
of delivering psychological first aid
of delivering psychological first aid
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07:33
that provides warm,
secure, loving parenting?
secure, loving parenting?
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育儿方式的一种可能的手段呢？
我们做到了在一周之内就发放了
3000份这样的宣传页。
3000份这样的宣传页。
07:36
We managed to distribute
3,000 of these in just one week.
3,000 of these in just one week.
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07:42
What was incredible was
we had a 60 percent response rate.
we had a 60 percent response rate.
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令人感到不可思议的是，
我们竟然得到了60%的反馈率。
我们竟然得到了60%的反馈率。
3000个家庭中，
有六成的家庭回复了。
有六成的家庭回复了。
07:45
60 percent of the 3,000
families responded.
families responded.
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我不知道今天在座的
有多少研究人员，
有多少研究人员，
07:50
I don't know how many
researchers we have here today,
researchers we have here today,
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但是这样的反馈率可以说是惊人的。
07:52
but that kind of response
rate is fantastic.
rate is fantastic.
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如果能够在曼彻斯特得到那样的反馈率
就已经是一个伟大的成就了，
就已经是一个伟大的成就了，
07:54
To have that in Manchester
would be a huge achievement,
would be a huge achievement,
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07:58
let alone in a conflict zone in Syria --
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更别说是在叙利亚的武装冲突区域--
08:00
really highlighting how important
these kinds of messages were to families.
these kinds of messages were to families.
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这足以证明那样的信息对于
那些家庭来说是多么的重要
那些家庭来说是多么的重要
08:07
I remember how excited and eager we were
for the return of the questionnaires.
for the return of the questionnaires.
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我还记得等待回收调查问卷时
那种激动的，渴望的心情。
那种激动的，渴望的心情。
这些家庭留下了数以百计的信息--
08:11
The families had left
hundreds of messages --
hundreds of messages --
156
479160
2496
08:13
most incredibly positive and encouraging.
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2376
大多数都是非常正面的，鼓励性的。
08:16
But my favorite has got to be,
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1736
但是我最喜欢的还是，
08:17
"Thank you for not forgetting
about us and our children."
about us and our children."
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3000
“感谢你们没有忘记我们
和我们的孩子们。”
和我们的孩子们。”
08:22
This really illustrates
the potential means
the potential means
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2056
这件事指明了把心理救助送到这些家庭
08:24
of the delivery of psychological
first aid to families,
first aid to families,
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并收到他们的反馈
08:27
and the return of feedback, too.
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2096
的可能的途径。
08:29
Just imagine replicating this
using other means
using other means
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2496
想象一下通过其他途径复制这一做法，
08:31
such as baby milk distribution,
or female hygiene kits,
or female hygiene kits,
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4576
比如分发婴儿奶粉
或是女士卫生巾包
或是女士卫生巾包
08:36
or even food baskets.
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1280
又甚至是食品篮。
但是让我们把这件事
带进我们自身的生活
带进我们自身的生活
08:40
But let's bring this closer to home,
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1715
因为难民危机
08:41
because the refugee crisis
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事实上正影响着我们每一个人。
08:43
is one that is having an effect
on every single one of us.
on every single one of us.
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3416
我们每天都被这些数据，
照片的图像轰击着，
照片的图像轰击着，
08:46
We're bombarded with images daily
of statistics and of photos,
of statistics and of photos,
169
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4615
这一点儿也不惊奇，
08:51
and that's not surprising,
170
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1577
因为截止到上个月，
08:52
because by last month,
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超过100万的难民已经到达欧洲。
08:54
over one million refugees
had reached Europe.
had reached Europe.
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100万。
08:57
One million.
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1200
08:58
Refugees are joining our communities,
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3136
难民们正加入我们的社区，
他们成为我们的邻居，
09:02
they're becoming our neighbors,
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他们的孩子正在
我们孩子们的学校上学。
我们孩子们的学校上学。
09:03
their children are attending
our children's schools.
our children's schools.
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所以我们修改了传单，
以满足欧洲难民群体的需求，
以满足欧洲难民群体的需求，
09:07
So we've adapted the leaflet
to meet the needs of European refugees,
to meet the needs of European refugees,
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3560
09:11
and we have them online, open-access,
178
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2336
我们把这些信息放在网上，开放阅览，
放置在那些有着极高难民潮的地区。
09:13
in areas with a really high
refugee influx.
refugee influx.
179
541960
2656
09:16
For example, the Swedish healthcare
uploaded it onto their website,
uploaded it onto their website,
180
544640
3216
举个例子，瑞典医疗保健
将文件上传到了他们的网站上，
将文件上传到了他们的网站上，
09:19
and within the first 45 minutes,
181
547880
1696
在头45分钟里，
09:21
it was downloaded 343 times --
182
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3200
文件就被下载了343次--
这也说明了让志愿者，
09:25
really highlighting how important it is
183
553480
1896
医师从业人员和其他家长
09:27
for volunteers, practitioners
and other parents
and other parents
184
555400
2536
能够开放阅览这些
心理急救文件的重要性。
心理急救文件的重要性。
09:29
to have open-access,
psychological first-aid messages.
psychological first-aid messages.
185
557960
2920
2013年，我坐在冰冷的，
坚硬的难民营帐篷的地上，
坚硬的难民营帐篷的地上，
09:35
In 2013, I was sitting on the cold,
hard floor of a refugee camp tent
hard floor of a refugee camp tent
186
563280
6176
母亲们围绕着我而坐，
我在举行焦点小组活动。
我在举行焦点小组活动。
09:41
with mothers sitting around me
as I was conducting a focus group.
as I was conducting a focus group.
187
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3080
在我对面站着一个上了年纪的妇女，
09:45
Across from me stood an elderly lady
188
573440
2296
她的身别躺着一个
看起来13岁大的女孩儿，
看起来13岁大的女孩儿，
09:47
with what seemed to be
a 13-year-old girl lying beside her,
a 13-year-old girl lying beside her,
189
575760
3456
09:51
with her head on the elderly lady's knees.
190
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2280
她的头依偎在那个妇女的膝盖上。
那个女孩儿在整个
焦点小组过程中都保持沉默，
焦点小组过程中都保持沉默，
09:54
The girl stayed quiet
throughout the focus group,
throughout the focus group,
191
582080
2776
什么话也没说，
09:56
not talking at all,
192
584880
1296
09:58
with her knees
curled up against her chest.
curled up against her chest.
193
586200
2120
她的膝盖蜷缩在她的胸前。
直到焦点小组活动尾声，
10:01
Towards the end of the focus group,
194
589040
1696
正当我感谢参与的母亲们的时候，
10:02
and as I was thanking
the mothers for their time,
the mothers for their time,
195
590760
2976
10:05
the elderly lady looked at me
while pointing at the young girl,
while pointing at the young girl,
196
593760
2976
那个妇女边看着我，
边指着那个年轻的女孩儿，
边指着那个年轻的女孩儿，
她对我说，“你能够帮帮我们，吗？”
10:08
and said to me, "Can you help us with...?"
197
596760
2400
虽然不是很清楚她希望我去做些什么，
10:12
Not quite sure what she expected me to do,
198
600080
2376
我看着那个年轻的女孩儿，微笑着
10:14
I looked at the young girl and smiled,
199
602480
1856
10:16
and in Arabic I said,
200
604360
1376
用阿拉伯语说，
"Salaam alaikum. Shu-ismak?"
10:17
"Salaam alaikum. Shu-ismak?"
201
605760
2016
“你叫什么名字？”
10:19
"What's your name?"
202
607800
1200
10:21
She looked at me really
confused and unengaged,
confused and unengaged,
203
609720
2736
她看着我，十分困惑，游离，
然后她说，“Halul"。
10:24
but then said, "Halul."
204
612480
1600
10:26
Halul is the pet's name
for the Arabic female name, Hala,
for the Arabic female name, Hala,
205
614840
4536
Halul是宠物的名字，
阿拉伯女名是Hala，
阿拉伯女名是Hala，
Halul真的只能用于称呼
年纪非常小的女孩儿。
年纪非常小的女孩儿。
10:31
and is only really used
to refer to really young girls.
to refer to really young girls.
206
619400
2880
10:35
At that point I realized that actually
Hala was probably much older than 13.
Hala was probably much older than 13.
207
623320
3640
那时我突然意识到，
Hala可能远不止13岁。
Hala可能远不止13岁。
结果表明，Hala是一个25岁的，
三个孩子的妈妈了。
三个孩子的妈妈了。
10:39
It turns out Hala was a 25-year-old
mother to three young children.
mother to three young children.
208
627800
4280
Hala曾经是一个自信的，阳光的，
活泼的，充满爱意的，
活泼的，充满爱意的，
10:44
Hala had been a confident,
bright, bubbly, loving, caring mother
bright, bubbly, loving, caring mother
209
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3976
对孩子十分慈爱的母亲，
10:48
to her children,
210
636920
1216
10:50
but the war had changed all of that.
211
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1960
但是战争改变了这所有的一切。
10:53
She had lived through bombs
being dropped in her town;
being dropped in her town;
212
641000
4376
她幸免于在她家乡投下的炸弹；
她在爆炸中存活了下来。
10:57
she had lived through explosions.
213
645400
2440
当战斗机驶过他们的楼房，
11:00
When fighter jets
were flying around their building,
were flying around their building,
214
648440
2456
11:02
dropping bombs,
215
650920
1216
投射炸弹，
11:04
her children would be screaming,
terrified from the noise.
terrified from the noise.
216
652160
2736
她的孩子们会被那种
噪声吓到，惊恐地尖叫。
噪声吓到，惊恐地尖叫。
11:06
Hala would frantically grab pillows
and cover her children's ears
and cover her children's ears
217
654920
3096
Hala就疯狂的抓取枕头，
捂住孩子们的耳朵
捂住孩子们的耳朵
隔离那些噪音，
11:10
to block out the noise,
218
658040
1376
尽管自己在惊叫着。
11:11
all the while screaming herself.
219
659440
1560
11:14
When they reached the refugee camp
220
662080
1696
当她们到达了难民营，
她知道他们终于得到了
一定程度上的安全，
一定程度上的安全，
11:15
and she knew they were finally
in some kind of safety,
in some kind of safety,
221
663800
3216
11:19
she completely withdrew
to acting like her old childhood self.
to acting like her old childhood self.
222
667040
3400
她变得完全逃离现实，
行为像她自己童年时一样。
行为像她自己童年时一样。
她完全排斥了她的家庭--
11:23
She completely rejected her family --
223
671080
2080
她的孩子，她的丈夫。
11:26
her children, her husband.
224
674480
1960
11:29
Hala simply could no longer cope.
225
677200
2120
Hala仅仅是无法再面对这一切了。
这是一个有着艰难结局的
育儿斗争的例子，
育儿斗争的例子，
11:32
This is a parenting struggle
with a really tough ending,
with a really tough ending,
226
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2896
11:35
but sadly, it's not uncommon.
227
683520
1816
但是不幸的是，这种情况并不罕见。
11:37
Those who experience
armed conflict and displacement
armed conflict and displacement
228
685360
2976
那些经历了武装冲突和移民的人们
一定会面对严峻的情感斗争。
11:40
will face serious emotional struggles.
229
688360
2600
11:43
And that's something we can all relate to.
230
691720
2040
而这也都与我们息息相关。
11:46
If you have been through
a devastating time in your life,
a devastating time in your life,
231
694920
3000
如果你的人生中曾经有过
这样毁灭性的时刻，
这样毁灭性的时刻，
如果你曾经失去过你真正
关心的人或事情的话，
关心的人或事情的话，
11:50
if you have lost someone
or something you really care about,
or something you really care about,
232
698600
3640
你又会如何继续应对呢？
11:55
how would you continue to cope?
233
703400
2080
你还能够照顾好自己和你的家人吗？
11:58
Could you still be able
to care for yourself and for your family?
to care for yourself and for your family?
234
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3120
12:03
Given that the first years
of a child's life are crucial
of a child's life are crucial
235
711480
3136
考虑到孩子生命中的
最初几年，对于身心健康
最初几年，对于身心健康
12:06
for healthy physical
and emotional development,
and emotional development,
236
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3256
是至关重要的，
12:09
and that 1.5 billion people
are experiencing armed conflict --
are experiencing armed conflict --
237
717920
4976
而那15亿人正经历着武装冲突--
他们中的很多
正加入到我们的社区当中--
正加入到我们的社区当中--
12:14
many of whom are now
joining our communities --
joining our communities --
238
722920
2696
我们不能对那些
正经历着战争，背井离乡的
正经历着战争，背井离乡的
12:17
we cannot afford to turn a blind eye
239
725640
1896
12:19
to the needs of those
who are experiencing war and displacement.
who are experiencing war and displacement.
240
727560
3720
人们的需求熟视无睹。
12:24
We must prioritize
these families' needs --
these families' needs --
241
732800
2456
我们必须优先考虑这些家庭的需求--
12:27
both those who are internally displaced,
and those who are refugees worldwide.
and those who are refugees worldwide.
242
735280
4840
无论是在国内流离失所的人，
还是世界范围内的难民。
还是世界范围内的难民。
12:33
These needs must be prioritized
by NGO workers, policy makers,
by NGO workers, policy makers,
243
741080
5016
这些需求必须被非政府组织
工作人员，政策制定者们，
工作人员，政策制定者们，
12:38
the WHO, the UNHCR
and every single one of us
and every single one of us
244
746120
4296
世界卫生组织，联合国难民署，
还有我们每一个人
还有我们每一个人
12:42
in whatever capacity it is
that we function in our society.
that we function in our society.
245
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3400
无论我们在社会中扮演着怎样的角色，
我们要将这些需求优先化。
我们要将这些需求优先化。
12:47
When we begin to recognize
the individual faces of the conflict,
the individual faces of the conflict,
246
755600
5176
当我们开始意识到
这些冲突当中的个人存在，
这些冲突当中的个人存在，
12:52
when we begin to notice
those intricate emotions on their faces,
those intricate emotions on their faces,
247
760800
4496
当我们开始注意到
他们脸上那些复杂的神情，
他们脸上那些复杂的神情，
12:57
we begin to see them as humans, too.
248
765320
1880
我们也将他们
当作人民对待，
当作人民对待，
我们就开始理解这些家庭的诉求，
13:00
We begin to see
the needs of these families,
the needs of these families,
249
768000
2696
13:02
and these are the real human needs.
250
770720
1680
这些都是人类所真正需要的。
13:05
When these family needs are prioritized,
251
773840
2696
当这些家庭的需求被优先对待，
对于孩子的人道主义干预将被优先化
13:08
interventions for children
in humanitarian settings
in humanitarian settings
252
776560
3296
13:11
will prioritize and recognize the primary
role of the family in supporting children.
role of the family in supporting children.
253
779880
5280
人们将认识到家庭
在抚养孩子问题上的根基地位。
在抚养孩子问题上的根基地位。
家庭精神健康问题将会
在世界范围内，国际日程表中，
在世界范围内，国际日程表中，
13:17
Family mental health
will be shouting loud and clear
will be shouting loud and clear
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13:20
in global, international agenda.
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被大声的，清晰的喊叫出来。
那些孩子就减少了在移民国家
13:23
And children will be less likely
to enter social service systems
to enter social service systems
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进入社会福利系统的几率，
13:26
in resettlement countries
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13:28
because their families
would have had support earlier on.
would have had support earlier on.
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因为他们的父母
在更早的时候就得到了支持。
在更早的时候就得到了支持。
13:32
And we will be more open-minded,
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我们将会变得更加开放，
更加欢迎，更加关怀，
13:35
more welcoming, more caring
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13:37
and more trusting to those
who are joining our communities.
who are joining our communities.
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更加信任那些加入我们社区的人们。
13:41
We need to stop wars.
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我们要停止战争。
13:44
We need to build a world where children
can dream of planes dropping gifts,
can dream of planes dropping gifts,
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我们要去建造这样一个世界，
那里的孩子们会梦想飞机投下礼物
那里的孩子们会梦想飞机投下礼物
13:49
and not bombs.
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而非炸弹。
13:51
Until we stop armed conflicts
raging throughout the world,
raging throughout the world,
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直到我们结束
世界范围内的武装冲突之前，
世界范围内的武装冲突之前，
13:55
families will continue to be displaced,
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家庭还会继续流离，
继续使孩子们脆弱。
13:58
leaving children vulnerable.
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但是通过加强父母育儿
和照料者的支持，
和照料者的支持，
14:00
But by improving parenting
and caregiver support,
and caregiver support,
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14:03
it may be possible to weaken the links
between war and psychological difficulties
between war and psychological difficulties
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我们还是有可能去减弱
在孩子和家庭中发生的
在孩子和家庭中发生的
战争与心理创伤之间的关联性的。
14:08
in children and their families.
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14:10
Thank you.
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谢谢。
14:12
(Applause)
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（掌声）
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Aala El-Khani - Humanitarian psychologistAala El-Khani explores the needs of families affected by war and displacement and the mental health of children who have experienced armed conflict.
Why you should listen
Dr. Aala El-Khani develops and researches innovative ways to reach families that have experienced conflict with parenting support and training. She has conducted prize-winning field research with refugee families and families in conflict zones, exploring their parenting challenges and the positive impact parenting support can provide. Her work has significantly contributed to an agenda of producing materials which together form psychological first aid for families affected by conflict and displacement.
El-Khani s a humanitarian psychologist, and she works as a consultant for the United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime as well as a Research Associate at the University of Manchester at the Division of Psychology and Mental Health. Her current work collaborates the efforts of the UNODC and the University of Manchester in developing and evaluating family skills programs in countries such as Afghanistan, Palestine, Syria and Lebanon.
El-Khani is passionate about highlighting the significant role that caregivers play in protecting their children during conflict and displacement. She has trained NGO workers, school teachers and affected families internationally on family skills and research methods.
Aala El-Khani | Speaker | TED.com