TEDGlobal 2011
Thandie Newton: Embracing otherness, embracing myself
Thandie Newton: Prihvaćanje drugosti, prihvaćanje sebe
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Glumica Thandie Newton govori o pronalasku svoje "drugosti" -- najprije kao dijete koje je odrastalo unutar dviju različitih kultura, a zatim kao glumica koja je utjelovila mnogo različitih jastva. Ovo je topao i mudar govor s nedavno održane konferencije TEDGlobal 2011.
Thandie Newton - Actor
Swinging from Hollywood blockbusters to sensitive indie films, Thandie Newton brings thoughtfulness and delicate beauty to her work. Full bio
Swinging from Hollywood blockbusters to sensitive indie films, Thandie Newton brings thoughtfulness and delicate beauty to her work. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:15
Embracing otherness.
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Prihvaćanje drugosti.
00:18
When I first heard this theme,
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Kada sam prvi puta čula za ovu temu,
00:20
I thought, well, embracing otherness
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pomislila sam, pa, prihvaćanje drugosti
00:22
is embracing myself.
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prihvaćanje je sebe.
00:25
And the journey to that place
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Putovanje do tog mjesta
00:27
of understanding and acceptance
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razumijevanja i prihvaćanja
00:29
has been an interesting one for me,
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bilo je zanimljivo
00:32
and it's given me an insight
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te mi je ujedno dalo uvid
00:34
into the whole notion of self,
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u značenje pojma jastva (svijesti o sebi)
00:36
which I think is worth sharing with you today.
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koje smatram vrijednim podijeliti danas s vama.
00:40
We each have a self,
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Svatko od nas ima jastvo,
00:42
but I don't think that we're born with one.
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ali ne mislim da smo rođeni s njime.
00:45
You know how newborn babies
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Znate kako novorođenčad
00:47
believe they're part of everything;
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vjeruje kako su dio svega;
00:49
they're not separate?
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nisu odvojeni.
00:51
Well that fundamental sense of oneness
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Upravo taj osnovni osjećaj jednosti
00:54
is lost on us very quickly.
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brzo izgubimo.
00:56
It's like that initial stage is over --
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Kao da je taj početni stupanj razvoja gotov --
00:58
oneness: infancy,
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jednost: rano djetinjstvo,
01:00
unformed, primitive.
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nerazvijeno, primitivno.
01:02
It's no longer valid or real.
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Više nije valjano ili stvarno.
01:05
What is real is separateness,
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Ono što postane stvarno jest odvojenost.
01:07
and at some point in early babyhood,
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Negdje tijekom ranog djetinjstva,
01:09
the idea of self
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ideja jastva
01:11
starts to form.
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počinje se stvarati.
01:13
Our little portion of oneness is given a name,
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Naš mali dio jednosti dobije ime,
01:16
is told all kinds of things about itself,
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i razne mu stvari bivaju rečene o njemu samome.
01:19
and these details,
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Ti detalji,
01:21
opinions and ideas
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mišljenja i ideje
01:23
become facts,
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postanu činjenice,
01:25
which go towards building ourselves,
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koje zatim počinju stvarati jastvo,
01:27
our identity.
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naš identitet.
01:29
And that self becomes the vehicle
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Takvo jastvo postane sredstvo
01:31
for navigating our social world.
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kretanja društvenim svijetom.
01:34
But the self is a projection
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Međutim, jastvo je prikaz
01:37
based on other people's projections.
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koji se temelji na projekcijama drugih ljudi.
01:39
Is it who we really are?
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Jesmo li to stvarno mi?
01:42
Or who we really want to be, or should be?
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Ili ono što zapravo želimo biti ili bismo trebali biti?
01:45
So this whole interaction
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Cijela ta interakcija
01:48
with self and identity
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jastva i identiteta
01:50
was a very difficult one for me growing up.
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bila mi je vrlo teška dok sam odrastala.
01:52
The self that I attempted to take out into the world
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Jastvo koje sam pokušala pokazati svijetu
01:55
was rejected over and over again.
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neprestano je bilo odbacivano.
01:58
And my panic
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A moja panika
02:00
at not having a self that fit,
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i nedostatak zadovoljavajućeg jastva
02:02
and the confusion that came
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te zbrka koja je nastala
02:04
from my self being rejected,
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odbijanjem moga jastva,
02:06
created anxiety, shame
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stvorili su tjeskobu, sram
02:09
and hopelessness,
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i beznađe,
02:11
which kind of defined me for a long time.
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koji se me dugo obilježavali.
02:14
But in retrospect,
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Gledajući unatrag,
02:16
the destruction of my self was so repetitive
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to uništavanje mog jastva je bilo toliko učestalo
02:19
that I started to see a pattern.
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da sam počela primjećivati šablonu.
02:21
The self changed,
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Jastvo se promijenilo
02:24
got affected, broken, destroyed,
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postalo je povrijeđeno, slomljeno, uništeno,
02:27
but another one would evolve --
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ali razvilo bi se drugo --
02:30
sometimes stronger,
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ponekad jače,
02:32
sometimes hateful,
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ponekad puno mržnje,
02:34
sometimes not wanting to be there at all.
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ponekad uopće nije željelo biti prisutno.
02:36
The self was not constant.
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Jastvo nije bilo nepromijenjivo.
02:40
And how many times
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Koliko će puta
02:42
would my self have to die
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moje jastvo morati umrijeti
02:44
before I realized
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prije nego što shvatim
02:46
that it was never alive in the first place?
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da zapravo nije ni bilo živo?
02:49
I grew up on the coast of England
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Odrasla sam 70-ih godina
02:51
in the '70s.
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na engleskoj obali.
02:53
My dad is white from Cornwall,
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Moj otac je bijelac iz Cornwalla,
02:56
and my mom is black from Zimbabwe.
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a moja majka crnkinja iz Zimbabvea.
03:00
Even the idea of us as a family
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Sama pomisao nas kao obitelji
03:02
was challenging to most people.
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većini je ljudi bila sporna.
03:05
But nature had its wicked way,
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No, priroda zna biti zlobna
03:07
and brown babies were born.
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pa su se rodila smeđa djeca.
03:09
But from about the age of five,
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Od pete sam godine
03:11
I was aware that I didn't fit.
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postala svjesna da se ne uklapam.
03:14
I was the black atheist kid
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Bila sam crno ateističko dijete
03:17
in the all-white Catholic school run by nuns.
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u katoličkoj školi za bijelce koju su vodile časne sestre.
03:20
I was an anomaly,
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Predstavljala sam anomaliju.
03:22
and my self was rooting around for definition
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Moje se jastvo pokušavalo uloviti za neko određenje
03:26
and trying to plug in.
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i pokušalo se priključiti sredini.
03:29
Because the self likes to fit,
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Jastvo se voli uklopiti,
03:31
to see itself replicated,
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voli vidjeti kopije sebe,
03:33
to belong.
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voli pripadati.
03:35
That confirms its existence
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Time potvrđuje svoje postojanje
03:37
and its importance.
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i svoju važnost.
03:39
And it is important.
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I ono jest važno.
03:41
It has an extremely important function.
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Ima iznimno važnu ulogu.
03:43
Without it, we literally can't interface with others.
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Bez njega mi doslovno ne možemo komunicirati s drugima.
03:47
We can't hatch plans
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Ne možemo kovati planove
03:49
and climb that stairway of popularity,
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niti se možemo uzdići na ljestvici popularnosti,
03:52
of success.
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ili uspjeha.
03:54
But my skin color wasn't right.
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No, boja moje kože bila odgovarajuća.
03:57
My hair wasn't right.
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Moja kosa nije bila odgovarajuća.
03:59
My history wasn't right.
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Moja povijest nije bila odgovarajuća.
04:01
My self became defined
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Moje je jastvo postalo određeno
04:03
by otherness,
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drugošću,
04:05
which meant that, in that social world,
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što je značilo, u tom društvenom svijetu,
04:07
I didn't really exist.
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da zapravo nisam postojala.
04:09
And I was "other" before being anything else --
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Bila sam drugo prije svega ostalog --
04:12
even before being a girl.
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čak i prije nego što sam bila djevojčica.
04:15
I was a noticeable nobody.
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Bila sam vidljiv nitko i ništa.
04:18
Another world was opening up
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Jedan drugi svijet se
04:21
around this time:
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otvarao oko mene u to vrijeme:
04:23
performance and dancing.
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svijet plesa i glume.
04:26
That nagging dread of self-hood
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Izjedajuća groza sebstva
04:29
didn't exist when I was dancing.
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nije postojala kada bih plesala.
04:32
I'd literally lose myself.
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Doslovno bih izgubila sebe.
04:35
And I was a really good dancer.
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Bila sam stvarno dobra plesačica.
04:38
I would put
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Sav bih svoj
04:40
all my emotional expression
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emocionalni izražaj
04:42
into my dancing.
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pretočila u ples.
04:44
I could be in the movement
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U pokretu bih bila ono
04:47
in a way that I wasn't able to be
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što nisam mogla biti
04:49
in my real life, in myself.
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u stvarnom životu, kakva sama nisam mogla biti.
04:52
And at 16,
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Sa 16 godina
04:54
I stumbled across another opportunity,
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otvorila mi se još jedna mogućnost
04:57
and I earned my first acting role in a film.
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i dobila sam prvu ulogu u filmu.
05:01
I can hardly find the words
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Jedva da riječima mogu
05:03
to describe the peace I felt
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izraziti mir koji sam osjećala
05:06
when I was acting.
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kada sam glumila.
05:08
My dysfunctional self
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Moje se disfunkcionalno jastvo
05:10
could actually plug in
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moglo "uključiti"
05:12
to another self, not my own,
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u drugo jastvo, ono koje nije bilo moje.
05:14
and it felt so good.
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Osjećaj je bio tako dobar.
05:17
It was the first time that I existed
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Bilo je to prvi puta da sam postojala
05:19
inside a fully-functioning self --
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unutar posve zaokruženog jastva --
05:22
one that I controlled,
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jastva kojim sam vladala,
05:25
that I steered,
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upravljala,
05:27
that I gave life to.
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i kojem sam udahnula život.
05:30
But the shooting day would end,
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Međutim, snimanje bi se približilo kraju
05:32
and I'd return
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i ja bih se vratila
05:34
to my gnarly, awkward self.
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svom mrskom i neugodnom jastvu.
05:37
By 19,
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S 19 godina
05:40
I was a fully-fledged movie actor,
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postala sam profesionalna glumica,
05:42
but still searching for definition.
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ali još uvijek u potrazi za svojim određenjem.
05:45
I applied to read anthropology
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Prijavila sam se na sveučilišni
05:47
at university.
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studij antropologije.
05:49
Dr. Phyllis Lee gave me my interview,
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Intervjuirala me dr. Phyllis Lee
05:52
and she asked me, "How would you define race?"
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i pitala me "Kako biste definirali pojam rase?"
05:56
Well, I thought I had the answer to that one,
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Mislila sam kako znam odgovor na to pitanje.
05:58
and I said, "Skin color."
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Rekla sam, "Bojom kože."
06:01
"So biology, genetics?" she said.
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"Znači biologijom, genetikom?", pitala je.
06:05
"Because, Thandie, that's not accurate.
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"Znate, Thandie, to nije točno.
06:07
Because there's actually more genetic difference
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Zapravo je više genetičke različitosti
06:10
between a black Kenyan
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između crnog Kenijca
06:12
and a black Ugandan
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i crnog Uganđanina
06:14
than there is between a black Kenyan
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nego, recimo, između crnog Kenijca
06:17
and, say, a white Norwegian.
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i bijelog Norvežanina.
06:19
Because we all stem from Africa.
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To je zbog toga što svi potječemo iz Afrike.
06:21
So in Africa,
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U Africi je bilo
06:23
there's been more time
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više vremena
06:25
to create genetic diversity."
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za stvaranje genetičke različitosti."
06:27
In other words,
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Drugim riječima,
06:29
race has no basis
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rasa nema temelja
06:31
in biological or scientific fact.
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na biološkim i znanstvenim činjenicama.
06:34
On the one hand, result.
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S jedne strane - uspjeh.
06:37
Right?
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Zar ne?
06:39
On the other hand, my definition of self
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S druge strane, moja je definicija jastva
06:42
just lost a huge chunk of its credibility.
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izgubila veliki dio svoje vjerodostojnosti.
06:45
But what was credible,
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Ono što jest vjerodostojno,
06:47
what is biological and scientific fact,
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upravo je biološka i znanstvena činjenica
06:50
is that we all stem from Africa --
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da svi potječemo iz Afrike --
06:53
in fact, from a woman called Mitochondrial Eve
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točnije, od žene koja se zove mitohondrijska Eva
06:56
who lived 160,000 years ago.
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i koja je živjela prije 160 000 godina.
06:59
And race is an illegitimate concept
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Rasa je pogrešan koncept
07:02
which our selves have created
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koji su izmislila naša jastva
07:04
based on fear and ignorance.
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na temelju straha i neznanja.
07:08
Strangely, these revelations
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Začudo, ova me saznanja
07:10
didn't cure my low self-esteem,
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nisu izliječila od niskog samopouzdanja,
07:13
that feeling of otherness.
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tog osjećaja drugosti.
07:16
My desire to disappear
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Moja želja da nestanem
07:18
was still very powerful.
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još uvijek je bila jaka.
07:20
I had a degree from Cambridge;
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Imala sam diplomu s Cambridgea,
07:22
I had a thriving career,
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uspješnu karijeru,
07:24
but my self was a car crash,
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ali moje je jastvo bilo u rasulu
07:27
and I wound up with bulimia
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te sam završila s bulimijom
07:29
and on a therapist's couch.
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i na kauču kod psihoterapeuta.
07:31
And of course I did.
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Naravno da jesam.
07:33
I still believed
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Još sam uvijek vjerovala
07:35
my self was all I was.
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kako moje jastvo predstavlja sve što jesam.
07:37
I still valued self-worth
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Još uvijek sam cijenila vlastitost
07:39
above all other worth,
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više od bilo kojeg drugog poštovanja.
07:41
and what was there to suggest otherwise?
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Zar je postojalo nešto što bi mi pokazalo suprotno?
07:44
We've created entire value systems
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Stvorili smo cijele sustave vrijednosti
07:46
and a physical reality
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i fizičku stvarnost
07:48
to support the worth of self.
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kako bismo potpomogli vrijednost jastva.
07:50
Look at the industry for self-image
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Pogledajte samo industriju samopoimanja,
07:52
and the jobs it creates,
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poslove koje stvara
07:54
the revenue it turns over.
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i prihod koji stvara.
07:57
We'd be right in assuming
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Bili bismo u pravu kada bismo pretpostavili
07:59
that the self is an actual living thing.
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kako je jastvo stvarno živo biće.
08:01
But it's not. It's a projection
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No, ono to nije; ono je projekcija,
08:04
which our clever brains create
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koju su stvorili naši pametni umovi
08:06
in order to cheat ourselves
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kako bi zavarali sami sebe
08:08
from the reality of death.
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od stvarnosti smrti.
08:12
But there is something
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Postoji nešto
08:14
that can give the self
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što jastvu može dati
08:16
ultimate and infinite connection --
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krajnju i beskonačnu poveznicu --
08:19
and that thing is oneness,
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a to je jednost,
08:21
our essence.
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naša bit.
08:23
The self's struggle
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Borba jastva
08:25
for authenticity and definition
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za jedinstvenošću i određenjem
08:27
will never end
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nikada neće završiti
08:29
unless it's connected to its creator --
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ako se ne poveže sa svojim tvorcem --
08:31
to you and to me.
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s vama i sa mnom.
08:34
And that can happen with awareness --
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To će se dogoditi povezivanjem sa sviješću --
08:37
awareness of the reality of oneness
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sviješću o realnosti jednosti
08:40
and the projection of self-hood.
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i projekcijom sebstva.
08:43
For a start, we can think about
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Za početak, trebamo se prisjetiti
08:45
all the times when we do lose ourselves.
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svih trenutaka kada smo izgubili sebe.
08:48
It happens when I dance,
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Meni se to događa kada plešem,
08:50
when I'm acting.
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kada glumim.
08:52
I'm earthed in my essence,
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Tada se sjedinim sa svojom biti,
08:54
and my self is suspended.
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a moje jastvo biva zatomljeno.
08:57
In those moments,
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U tim sam trenucima
08:59
I'm connected to everything --
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povezana sa svime --
09:01
the ground, the air,
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zemljom, zrakom,
09:04
the sounds, the energy from the audience.
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zvukovima i energijom publike.
09:06
All my senses are alert and alive
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Sva su moja osjetila budna i živa
09:10
in much the same way as an infant might feel --
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upravo onako kako bi to osjećalo malo dijete --
09:13
that feeling of oneness.
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taj osjećaj jednosti.
09:16
And when I'm acting a role,
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A kada glumim
09:19
I inhabit another self,
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ispunjavam drugo jastvo
09:21
and I give it life for awhile,
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i njemu, na kratko vrijeme, udahnjujem život.
09:23
because when the self is suspended
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Kada je jastvo zatomljeno
09:26
so is divisiveness
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zatomljen je i razdor
09:28
and judgment.
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i osuđivanje.
09:30
And I've played everything
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Glumila sam svašta
09:32
from a vengeful ghost in the time of slavery
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od osvetničkog duha iz vremena ropstva
09:34
to Secretary of State in 2004.
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do državne tajnice 2004. godine.
09:38
And no matter how other
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Bez obzira koliko su drugačija
09:40
these selves might be,
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bila ta jastva,
09:42
they're all related in me.
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sva su bila povezana u meni.
09:46
And I honestly believe
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Iskreno vjerujem
09:48
the key to my success as an actor
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da je ključ mog glumačkog uspjeha
09:50
and my progress as a person
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i mojeg razvoja kao osobe
09:52
has been the very lack of self
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ležao u nedostatku jastva
09:55
that used to make me feel
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zbog kojeg sam se osjećala
09:57
so anxious and insecure.
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tjeskobno i nesigurno.
09:59
I always wondered
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Uvijek sam se pitala
10:01
why I could feel others' pain so deeply,
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zašto tako intenzivno mogu osjetiti tuđu bol,
10:05
why I could recognize
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zašto mogu prepoznati
10:07
the somebody in the nobody.
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ono posebno u nekom nevažnom.
10:10
It's because I didn't have a self to get in the way.
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Zbog toga što nisam imala svoje jastvo koje bi mi u tome smetalo.
10:14
I thought I lacked substance,
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Mislila sam kako mi nedostaje suštine,
10:17
and the fact that I could feel others'
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a to što sam mogla osjetiti tuđu
10:19
meant that I had nothing of myself to feel.
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značilo je da nemam ništa svojega za osjetiti.
10:22
The thing that was a source of shame
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Ono što je bilo izvor srama
10:25
was actually a source of enlightenment.
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zapravo je bilo izvor prosvjetljenja.
10:28
And when I realized
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Kada sam shvatila
10:30
and really understood
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i zapravo razumijela
10:32
that my self is a projection and that it has a function,
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kako je moje jastvo projekcija te da ima svrhu,
10:35
a funny thing happened.
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dogodilo se nešto čudno.
10:37
I stopped giving it so much authority.
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Nisam mu više pridavala toliku važnost.
10:39
I give it its due.
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Dala sam mu što mu pripada.
10:41
I take it to therapy.
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Odvela sam ga na terapiju.
10:43
I've become very familiar
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Dobro sam se upoznala
10:45
with its dysfunctional behavior.
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s njegovim disfunkcionalnim ponašanjem.
10:47
But I'm not ashamed of my self.
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Ali ne sramim se svojeg jastva.
10:50
In fact, I respect my self
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Zapravo, poštujem svoje jastvo
10:52
and its function.
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i njegovu svrhu.
10:54
And over time and with practice,
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S vremenom i vježbom,
10:57
I've tried to live
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pokušala sam sve više živjeti
10:59
more and more from my essence.
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iz svoje suštine.
11:01
And if you can do that,
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Ako to možete,
11:04
incredible things happen.
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nevjerojatne se stvari dogode.
11:06
I was in Congo in February,
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U veljači sam bila u Kongu,
11:09
dancing and celebrating
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plesala sam i slavila
11:11
with women who've survived
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sa ženama koje su preživjele
11:13
the destruction of their selves
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uništenje svojih jastava
11:15
in literally unthinkable ways --
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na doslovno nezamislive načine --
11:18
destroyed because other brutalized, psychopathic selves
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uništena su jer druga surova i psihopatska jastva,
11:21
all over that beautiful land
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po toj cijeloj prekrasnoj zemlji,
11:24
are fueling our selves' addiction
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pune naša jastva ovisnošću
11:27
to iPods, Pads, and bling,
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o iPodima, iPadima i skupim nakitom,
11:30
which further disconnect ourselves
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čime dodatno odvajaju našu svijest
11:32
from ever feeling their pain,
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od njihova osjećaja boli,
11:34
their suffering,
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patnje
11:36
their death.
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i smrti.
11:38
Because, hey,
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Jer
11:40
if we're all living in ourselves
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ako svi živimo u svom jastvu
11:42
and mistaking it for life,
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i pogrešno ga smatramo životom,
11:44
then we're devaluing
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umanjujemo vrijednost života
11:46
and desensitizing life.
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i provodimo desenzibilizaciju života.
11:48
And in that disconnected state,
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U takvom odvojenom stanju
11:50
yeah, we can build factory farms with no windows,
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možemo graditi nehumane farme bez prozora,
11:54
destroy marine life
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uništavati podvodni svijet
11:56
and use rape as a weapon of war.
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i koristiti silovanje kao ratno oružje.
12:00
So here's a note to self:
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Evo opaske jastvu:
12:03
The cracks have started to show
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pukotine su se počele pojavljivati
12:05
in our constructed world,
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u našem izgrađenom svijetu,
12:08
and oceans will continue
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oceani će se nastaviti
12:10
to surge through the cracks,
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izlijevati kroz pukotine,
12:12
and oil and blood,
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ali i nafta i krv,
12:15
rivers of it.
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i teći će potocima.
12:18
Crucially, we haven't been figuring out
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Bitno je sljedeće, nismo pokušavali odgonetnuti
12:20
how to live in oneness
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kako živjeti u jednosti
12:22
with the Earth and every other living thing.
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sa Zemljom i drugim živim bićima.
12:25
We've just been insanely trying to figure out
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Već smo luđački pokušavali odgonetnuti
12:28
how to live with each other -- billions of each other.
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kako živjeti jedni s drugima -- milijardama drugih.
12:31
Only we're not living with each other;
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Samo što mi ne živimo jedni s drugima,
12:33
our crazy selves are living with each other
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već naša luda jastva žive jedna s drugima
12:36
and perpetuating an epidemic
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i nastavljaju
12:38
of disconnection.
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epidemiju odvajanja.
12:41
Let's live with each other
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Pokušajmo živjeti jedni s drugima
12:44
and take it a breath at a time.
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i radimo to korak po korak.
12:47
If we can get under that heavy self,
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Trebamo doći ispod tog teškog jastva,
12:51
light a torch of awareness,
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zapaliti baklju svijesti
12:53
and find our essence,
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i pronaći svoju suštinu,
12:55
our connection to the infinite
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našu poveznicu s beskonačnošću
12:57
and every other living thing.
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i svim drugim živim bićima.
13:00
We knew it from the day we were born.
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Znamo to od dana kad smo se rodili.
13:02
Let's not be freaked out
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Neka nas ne preplaši
13:04
by our bountiful nothingness.
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naše golemo ništavilo.
13:07
It's more a reality
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Ono je veća stvarnost
13:09
than the ones our selves have created.
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od one koju su stvorila naša jastva.
13:11
Imagine what kind of existence we can have
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Zamislite kakvo bismo mogli imati postojanje
13:15
if we honor inevitable death of self,
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kada bismo cijenili neizbježnu smrt jastva,
13:19
appreciate the privilege of life
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cijenili privilegij života
13:23
and marvel at what comes next.
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i divili se onome što slijedi.
13:27
Simple awareness is where it begins.
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To počinje s osnovnom sviješću.
13:30
Thank you for listening.
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Hvala vam na pozornosti.
13:32
(Applause)
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(Pljesak)
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Thandie Newton - ActorSwinging from Hollywood blockbusters to sensitive indie films, Thandie Newton brings thoughtfulness and delicate beauty to her work.
Why you should listen
Filmgoers first encountered Thandie Newton in the 1991 film Flirting, a tender and skin-crawlingly honest film about young love and budding identity. In her career since then, she’s brought that same intimate touch even to big Hollywood films (she was the moral center of Mission: Impossible II, for instance, and the quiet heart of the head-banging 2012), while maintaining a strong sideline in art films, like the acclaimed Crash and last year’s adaptation of Ntozake Shange’s For colored girls ...
Born in England, her mother is Zimbabwean, and Newton is active in nonprofit work across the African continent. In 2008, she visited Mali for a campaign to bring clean water to six African nations, and as a V Day board member, Newton visited the Congo earlier this year to raise awareness of the chronic issue of sexual violence toward women and girls.
Thandie Newton | Speaker | TED.com