TEDGlobal>Geneva
James Veitch: This is what happens when you reply to spam email
James Veitch: Ovo se događa kada odgovorite na spam email
Filmed:
Readability: 3.9
55,851,315 views
Sumnjivi emailovi: obveznice koje nitko ne potražuje, sefovi optočeni dijamantima, bliski prijatelji koji su zapeli u stranoj zemlji. Iskaču nam u inboxu i najčešće ih odmah brišemo. No, što se događa kada odgovorite na njih? Poslušajte spisatelja i komičara Jamesa Veitcha kako objašnjava urnebesnu, tjednima dugu razmjenu emailova sa spamerom koji mu je ponudio udio u unosnom poslu.
James Veitch - Comedian and writer
For James Veitch, a British writer and comedian with a mischievous side, spam emails proved the perfect opening to have some fun, playing the scammers at their own game. Full bio
For James Veitch, a British writer and comedian with a mischievous side, spam emails proved the perfect opening to have some fun, playing the scammers at their own game. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:12
A few years ago,
0
809
1151
Prije nekoliko godina,
00:13
I got one of those spam emails.
1
1984
3460
dobio sam jedan od onih spam emailova.
00:17
And it managed
to get through my spam filter.
to get through my spam filter.
2
5468
2104
Uspio se probiti kroz moj spam filter.
00:19
I'm not quite sure how,
but it turned up in my inbox,
but it turned up in my inbox,
3
7596
2556
Ne znam točno kako, ali
pojavio se u mom inboxu,
pojavio se u mom inboxu,
00:22
and it was from a guy
called Solomon Odonkoh.
called Solomon Odonkoh.
4
10176
2149
a poslao ga je tip koji se zove
Solomon Odonkoh.
Solomon Odonkoh.
00:24
(Laughter)
5
12349
1215
(Smijeh)
00:26
I know.
6
14159
1151
Znam.
00:27
(Laughter)
7
15334
1230
(Smijeh)
00:28
It went like this:
8
16588
1160
Ovako je pisalo:
00:29
it said, "Hello James Veitch,
9
17772
1618
"Bok, James Veitch,
00:31
I have an interesting business proposal
I want to share with you, Solomon."
I want to share with you, Solomon."
10
19414
3539
Imam zanimljiv poslovni prijedlog
koji želim podijeliti s tobom. Solomon."
koji želim podijeliti s tobom. Solomon."
00:36
Now, my hand was kind of hovering
on the delete button, right?
on the delete button, right?
11
24246
2913
Ruka mi je bila nad tipkom delete.
00:39
I was looking at my phone.
I thought, I could just delete this.
I thought, I could just delete this.
12
27183
2959
Gledao sam u svoj mobitel i razmišljao
kako bih to mogao jednostavno izbrisati.
kako bih to mogao jednostavno izbrisati.
00:42
Or I could do what I think
we've all always wanted to do.
we've all always wanted to do.
13
30442
4165
Ili bih mogao napraviti nešto
što sam oduvijek želio.
što sam oduvijek želio.
00:46
(Laughter)
14
34631
2991
(Smijeh)
00:50
And I said, "Solomon,
Your email intrigues me."
Your email intrigues me."
15
38541
2209
Odgovorih, "Solomone,
tvoj email me zaintrigirao."
tvoj email me zaintrigirao."
00:52
(Laughter)
16
40774
2702
(Smijeh)
00:55
(Applause)
17
43500
4976
(Pljesak)
01:00
And the game was afoot.
18
48500
2420
Igra je započela.
01:05
He said, "Dear James Veitch,
We shall be shipping Gold to you."
We shall be shipping Gold to you."
19
53214
2961
On odgovori, "Dragi James,
slat ćemo ti Zlato."
slat ćemo ti Zlato."
01:08
(Laughter)
20
56199
1697
(Smijeh)
01:10
"You will earn 10%
of any gold you distributes."
of any gold you distributes."
21
58302
2897
"Zaradit ćeš 10% od svog zlata
koje ćeš distribuirati."
koje ćeš distribuirati."
01:13
(Laughter)
22
61223
1764
(Smijeh)
01:15
So I knew I was dealing
with a professional.
with a professional.
23
63307
2051
Znao sam da imam posla s profesionalcem.
01:17
(Laughter)
24
65382
3575
(Smijeh)
01:22
I said, "How much is it worth?"
25
70408
1484
Pitah: "Koliko vrijedi?"
01:25
He said, "We will start
with smaller quantity," --
with smaller quantity," --
26
73058
2500
On odgovori, "Počet ćemo
s manjom količinom," --
s manjom količinom," --
01:27
I was like, aww --
27
75582
1152
Moja je reakcija bila, aaa --
01:28
and then he said, "of 25 kgs.
28
76758
2794
i onda nastavi, "od 25 kg."
01:31
(Laughter)
29
79576
2000
(Smijeh)
01:34
The worth should be about $2.5 million."
30
82969
2464
Vrijednost bi mu trebala
biti oko 2.5 milijuna dolara."
biti oko 2.5 milijuna dolara."
01:39
I said, "Solomon, if we're
going to do it, let's go big.
going to do it, let's go big.
31
87536
2675
Rekoh, "Solomone, ako ćemo
ovo raditi, idemo onda do kraja."
ovo raditi, idemo onda do kraja."
01:42
(Applause)
32
90235
6902
(Pljesak)
01:50
I can handle it.
How much gold do you have?"
How much gold do you have?"
33
98286
3905
Mogu se s time nositi.
Koliko zlata imaš?
Koliko zlata imaš?
01:54
(Laughter)
34
102215
3087
(Smijeh)
01:57
He said, "It is not a matter
of how much gold I have,
of how much gold I have,
35
105761
2600
On uzvrati, "Nije stvar koliko zlata imam,
02:00
what matters is
your capability of handling.
your capability of handling.
36
108385
2051
već je bitna tvoja sposobnost upravljanja.
02:02
We can start with 50 kgs
as trial shipment."
as trial shipment."
37
110460
2223
Možemo početi s probnom
pošiljkom od 50 kg."
pošiljkom od 50 kg."
02:04
I said, "50 kgs?
38
112707
1871
Uzvratih, "50 kg?
02:06
There's no point doing this at all
39
114602
1643
Nema nikakvog smisla ovo raditi
02:08
unless you're shipping
at least a metric ton."
at least a metric ton."
40
116269
2230
osim ako ne šaljete barem tonu."
02:10
(Laughter)
41
118523
1195
(Smijeh)
02:11
(Applause)
42
119742
2769
(Pljesak)
02:15
He said, "What do you do for a living?"
43
123401
1923
Pitao me, "Čime se baviš?"
02:17
(Laughter)
44
125348
1855
(Smijeh)
02:20
I said, "I'm a hedge fund
executive bank manager."
executive bank manager."
45
128283
2342
Odgovorih, "Ja sam izvršni
direktor investicijske banke."
direktor investicijske banke."
02:22
(Laughter)
46
130649
3408
(Smijeh)
02:27
This isn't the first time
I've shipped bullion, my friend,
I've shipped bullion, my friend,
47
135243
2710
Ovo nije prvi put da baratam
sa zlatnim polugama, prijatelju,
sa zlatnim polugama, prijatelju,
02:29
no no no.
48
137993
1645
ne ne ne.
02:32
Then I started to panic.
49
140989
1151
Onda sam počeo paničariti.
02:34
I was like, "Where are you based?"
50
142164
1628
Upitah ga, "Gdje se nalaziš?"
02:35
I don't know about you,
51
143816
1182
Ne znam ništa o tebi,
02:37
but I think if we're going
via the postal service,
via the postal service,
52
145022
2368
no ako ćemo koristiti poštu, mislim da
02:39
it ought to be signed for.
53
147414
1308
bi moralo biti potpisano.
02:40
That's a lot of gold."
54
148746
1174
To je jako puno zlata."
02:42
He said, "It will not be easy
to convince my company
to convince my company
55
150666
2437
On odgovori, "Neće biti lako
nagovoriti moju tvrtku
nagovoriti moju tvrtku
02:45
to do larger quantity shipment."
56
153127
1710
da pristane na veću pošiljku."
02:46
I said, "Solomon, I'm completely
with you on this one.
with you on this one.
57
154861
2528
Uzvratih, "Solomone,
apsolutno se slažem s tobom.
apsolutno se slažem s tobom.
02:49
I'm putting together a visual for you
to take into the board meeting.
to take into the board meeting.
58
157413
3446
Sastavljam prezentaciju koju možeš
pokazati svome upravnom odboru.
pokazati svome upravnom odboru.
02:52
Hold tight."
59
160883
1180
Pričekaj malo."
02:54
(Laughter)
60
162087
3029
(Smijeh)
03:01
This is what I sent Solomon.
61
169009
1347
Ovo sam poslao Solomonu.
03:03
(Laughter)
62
171205
2127
(Smijeh)
03:05
(Applause)
63
173356
5912
(Pljesak)
03:11
I don't know if we have
any statisticians in the house,
any statisticians in the house,
64
179829
3055
Ne znam ima li ovdje statističara,
03:14
but there's definitely something going on.
65
182908
2009
ali ovdje se definitivno nešto događa.
03:16
(Laughter)
66
184941
1634
(Smijeh)
03:19
I said, "Solomon, attached to this email
you'll find a helpful chart.
you'll find a helpful chart.
67
187170
3280
Rekoh mu, "Solomone, prilažem
grafikon koji će ti pomoći.
grafikon koji će ti pomoći.
03:23
I've had one of my assistants
run the numbers.
run the numbers.
68
191281
2293
Jedan od mojih asistenata
radio je izračun.
radio je izračun.
03:25
(Laughter)
69
193598
1786
(Smijeh)
03:27
We're ready for shipping
as much gold as possible."
as much gold as possible."
70
195408
2381
Spremni smo za pošiljku
što je više moguće zlata."
što je više moguće zlata."
03:30
There's always a moment where they try
to tug your heartstrings,
to tug your heartstrings,
71
198254
3051
Uvijek postoji trenutak kada
pokušaju igrati na emocije,
pokušaju igrati na emocije,
03:33
and this was it for Solomon.
72
201329
1342
a ovo je bio Solomonov trenutak.
03:34
He said, "I will be so much happy
if the deal goes well,
if the deal goes well,
73
202695
2627
On uzvrati, "Bit ću jako sretan
ako dogovor prođe dobro,
ako dogovor prođe dobro,
03:37
because I'm going to get
a very good commission as well."
a very good commission as well."
74
205346
2675
jer ću i ja dobiti jako dobru proviziju."
03:40
And I said, "That's amazing,
What are you going to spend your cut on?"
What are you going to spend your cut on?"
75
208045
3294
Rekoh, "To je fantastično.
Na što ćeš potrošiti svoj dio?"
Na što ćeš potrošiti svoj dio?"
03:43
And he said, "On RealEstate,
what about you?"
what about you?"
76
211363
2150
On odgovori, "Na nekretnine. A ti?"
03:46
I thought about it for a long time.
77
214133
3047
Dugo sam razmišljao o odgovoru.
03:50
And I said, "One word;
78
218925
1639
I odgovorih, "Jedna riječ;
03:53
Hummus."
79
221632
1151
humus."
03:54
(Laughter)
80
222807
3181
(Smijeh)
04:00
"It's going places.
81
228261
1150
"Daleko će dogurati.
04:01
(Laughter)
82
229435
1183
(Smijeh)
04:03
I was in Sainsbury's the other day
83
231395
1646
Neki dan sam bio u supermarketu
04:05
and there were like
30 different varieties.
30 different varieties.
84
233065
2053
i vidio sam 30 različitih vrsta.
04:07
Also you can cut up carrots,
and you can dip them.
and you can dip them.
85
235142
2897
Možeš i narezati mrkvu i umakati je.
04:10
Have you ever done that, Solomon?"
86
238063
1856
Jesi li to ikada probao, Solomone?"
04:11
(Laughter)
87
239943
2000
(Smijeh)
04:14
He said, "I have to go bed now."
88
242458
1532
On uzvrati, "Moram sad u krevet."
04:16
(Laughter)
89
244014
2879
(Smijeh)
04:18
(Applause)
90
246917
2859
(Pljesak)
04:21
"Till morrow.
91
249800
1377
Do sutra.
04:24
Have sweet dream."
92
252407
1152
Lijepo spavaj."
04:25
I didn't know what to say!
93
253583
1388
Nisam znao što da kažem!
04:27
I said, "Bonsoir
my golden nugget, bonsoir."
my golden nugget, bonsoir."
94
255643
2887
Odgovorih, "Bonsoir, moj
grumenčiću zlata, bonsoir."
grumenčiću zlata, bonsoir."
04:30
(Laughter)
95
258554
2301
(Smijeh)
04:33
Guys, you have to understand,
this had been going for, like, weeks,
this had been going for, like, weeks,
96
261323
3152
Morate razumijeti da
je ovo trajalo tjednima,
je ovo trajalo tjednima,
04:36
albeit hitherto the greatest
weeks of my life,
weeks of my life,
97
264499
2151
mada su to bili najbolji
tjedni mog života dotad,
tjedni mog života dotad,
04:38
but I had to knock it on the head.
98
266674
1627
ali morao sam to prekinuti.
04:40
It was getting a bit out of hand.
99
268325
1580
Polako je izmicalo kontroli.
04:41
Friends were saying, "James,
do you want to come for a drink?"
do you want to come for a drink?"
100
269929
2952
Prijatelji bi me pitali, "James,
ideš s nama na piće?"
ideš s nama na piće?"
04:44
I was like, "I can't, I'm expecting
an email about some gold."
an email about some gold."
101
272905
3016
Ja bih odgovorio, "Ne mogu,
očekujem email o zlatu."
očekujem email o zlatu."
04:47
So I figured I had
to knock it on the head.
to knock it on the head.
102
275945
2044
Shvatio sam da to moram prekinuti.
04:50
I had to take it
to a ridiculous conclusion.
to a ridiculous conclusion.
103
278013
2056
Morao sam izmisliti apsurdni završetak.
04:52
So I concocted a plan.
104
280093
1152
Pa sam razradio plan.
04:53
I said, "Solomon,
I'm concerned about security.
I'm concerned about security.
105
281269
2352
Napisah, "Solomone, brine me sigurnost.
04:55
When we email each other,
106
283645
1207
Kada se dopisujemo,
04:56
we need to use a code."
107
284876
1151
moramo koristiti šifre."
05:00
And he agreed.
108
288582
1151
Složio se sa mnom.
05:01
(Laughter)
109
289757
1388
(Smijeh)
05:03
I said, "Solomon, I spent all night
coming up with this code
coming up with this code
110
291169
2889
Nastavih, "Solomone, cijelu noć
sam osmišljavao ove šifre
sam osmišljavao ove šifre
05:06
we need to use
in all further correspondence:
in all further correspondence:
111
294082
2105
koje moramo koristiti u
daljnjem dopisivanju:
daljnjem dopisivanju:
05:08
Lawyer: Gummy Bear.
112
296211
3743
Odvjetnik: Gumeni Medo.
05:13
Bank: Cream Egg.
113
301564
1859
Banka: Kinder jaje.
05:16
Legal: Fizzy Cola Bottle.
Claim: Peanut M&Ms.
Claim: Peanut M&Ms.
114
304002
2167
Legalni: Boca Coca Cole.
Zahtijev: M&Ms sa kikirikijem.
Zahtijev: M&Ms sa kikirikijem.
05:18
Documents: Jelly Beans.
115
306193
1920
Dokumenti: Žele bomboni.
05:20
Western Union: A Giant Gummy Lizard."
116
308137
2144
Western Union: Divovski gumeni gušter."
05:22
(Laughter)
117
310305
1832
(Smijeh)
05:24
I knew these were all words
they use, right?
they use, right?
118
312602
2051
Znao sam da koriste sve te riječi.
05:26
I said, "Please call me Kitkat
in all further correspondence."
in all further correspondence."
119
314962
3675
Rekoh mu, "Molim te da me odsada zoveš
Kitkat u svom daljnjem dopisivanju."
Kitkat u svom daljnjem dopisivanju."
05:30
(Laughter)
120
318661
4063
(Smijeh)
05:36
I didn't hear back.
I thought, I've gone too far.
I thought, I've gone too far.
121
324002
2428
Nije mi se javljao. Mislio sam
da sam možda pretjerao.
da sam možda pretjerao.
05:38
I've gone too far.
So I had to backpedal a little.
So I had to backpedal a little.
122
326454
2342
Pretjerao sam. Morao sam
napraviti korak unazad.
napraviti korak unazad.
05:40
I said, "Solomon, Is the deal still on?
123
328820
2285
Napisah, "Solomone, vrijedi li
još uvijek naš dogovor?
još uvijek naš dogovor?
05:44
KitKat."
124
332311
1151
Kitkat."
05:45
(Laughter)
125
333486
1246
(Smijeh)
05:46
Because you have to be consistent.
126
334756
1872
Morate biti dosljedni.
05:51
Then I did get an email back from him.
127
339208
1866
Dobio sam email od njega.
05:53
He said, "The Business is on
and I am trying to blah blah blah ..."
and I am trying to blah blah blah ..."
128
341098
3180
Odgovorio je, "Posao još uvijek vrijedi
i pokušavam bla bla bla..."
i pokušavam bla bla bla..."
05:56
I said, "Dude, you have to use the code!"
129
344302
1978
Uzvratih, "Čovječe,
moraš koristiti šifre!"
moraš koristiti šifre!"
06:01
What followed is the greatest email
I've ever received.
I've ever received.
130
349478
2588
Uslijedio je najbolji mail
koji sam ikada dobio.
koji sam ikada dobio.
06:04
(Laughter)
131
352090
2182
(Smijeh)
06:07
I'm not joking, this is what
turned up in my inbox.
turned up in my inbox.
132
355675
2546
Ne šalim se, ovo mi je došlo u inbox.
06:10
This was a good day.
133
358939
1150
Ovo je bio dobar dan.
06:13
"The business is on.
134
361224
1151
"Posao još vrijedi.
06:16
I am trying to raise the balance
for the Gummy Bear --
for the Gummy Bear --
135
364065
2619
Pokušavam povisiti bilancu
za Gumenog Medu --
za Gumenog Medu --
06:18
(Laughter)
136
366708
1399
(Smijeh)
06:23
so he can submit all the needed
Fizzy Cola Bottle Jelly Beans
Fizzy Cola Bottle Jelly Beans
137
371485
3225
kako bi on mogao uručiti sve
potrebne boce Coca Cole
potrebne boce Coca Cole
06:26
to the Creme Egg,
138
374734
1153
Kinder jajetu,
06:29
for the Peanut M&Ms process to start.
139
377791
2303
da bi proces M&Msa sa kikirikijem počeo.
06:32
(Laughter)
140
380118
1379
(Smijeh)
06:33
Send 1,500 pounds
141
381940
2129
Poslao sam 1,500 funti
06:36
via a Giant Gummy Lizard."
142
384093
2389
putem Divovskog gumenog guštera."
06:38
(Applause)
143
386506
6769
(Pljesak)
06:49
And that was so much fun, right,
144
397392
2405
To je bilo toliko zabavno,
06:51
that it got me thinking:
145
399821
1350
da sam se počeo pitati:
06:53
like, what would happen if I just spent
as much time as could
as much time as could
146
401195
2911
što bi se dogodilo da provodim
koliko god mogu vremena
koliko god mogu vremena
06:56
replying to as many
scam emails as I could?
scam emails as I could?
147
404130
2094
odgovarajući na što više
email prijevara koliko mogu?
email prijevara koliko mogu?
07:00
And that's what I've been doing
148
408145
2976
Time se bavim
07:03
for three years
149
411145
2100
zadnje tri godine
07:05
on your behalf.
150
413269
1281
u vašu korist.
07:06
(Laughter)
151
414574
2395
(Smijeh)
07:08
(Applause)
152
416993
2319
(Pljesak)
07:12
Crazy stuff happens when you start
replying to scam emails.
replying to scam emails.
153
420079
2871
Lude stvari se događaju kad počnete
odgovarati na email prevare.
odgovarati na email prevare.
07:14
It's really difficult,
154
422974
1151
Jako je teško,
07:16
and I highly recommend we do it.
155
424149
1578
i zaista preporučam da se time bavimo.
07:17
I don't think what I'm doing is mean.
156
425751
1841
Ne mislim da je to što radim zločesto.
07:19
There are a lot of people
who do mean things to scammers.
who do mean things to scammers.
157
427616
2752
Ima mnogo ljudi koji rade
loše stvari prevarantima.
loše stvari prevarantima.
07:22
All I'm doing is wasting their time.
158
430392
3587
Ja im samo kratim vrijeme.
07:26
And I think any time
they're spending with me
they're spending with me
159
434894
2159
I smatram da svako vrijeme
koje provode sa mnom
koje provode sa mnom
07:29
is time they're not spending
scamming vulnerable adults
scamming vulnerable adults
160
437077
2597
je vrijeme koje ne provode
varajući ranjive ljude
varajući ranjive ljude
07:31
out of their savings, right?
161
439698
1373
kradući im ušteđevinu.
07:33
And if you're going to do this --
and I highly recommend you do --
and I highly recommend you do --
162
441584
3563
Ako ćete se baviti ovime --
a toplo vam to preporučam --
a toplo vam to preporučam --
07:37
get yourself a pseudonymous email address.
163
445171
2011
osmislite si email adresu sa pseudonimom.
07:39
Don't use your own email address.
164
447206
1604
Nemojte koristiti vlastitu email adresu.
07:40
That's what I was doing at the start
and it was a nightmare.
and it was a nightmare.
165
448834
2854
To sam ja radio na početku
i bilo je grozno.
i bilo je grozno.
07:43
I'd wake up in the morning
and have a thousand emails
and have a thousand emails
166
451712
2556
Probudio bih se ujutro
i zatekao tisuću emailova
i zatekao tisuću emailova
07:46
about penis enlargements,
167
454292
1207
o povećanjima penisa,
07:47
only one of which
was a legitimate response --
was a legitimate response --
168
455523
2197
samo jedan od njih je bio pravi odgovor -
07:49
(Laughter)
169
457744
2096
(Smijeh)
07:51
to a medical question I had.
170
459864
1342
na moje medicinsko pitanje.
07:53
But I'll tell you what, though, guys,
171
461230
1769
Ali reći ću vam nešto,
07:55
I'll tell you what: any day is a good day,
any day is a good day
any day is a good day
172
463023
3001
svaki dan je dobar dan,
07:58
if you receive an email
that begins like this:
that begins like this:
173
466048
2421
ako dobijete email koji započinje ovako:
08:01
(Laughter)
174
469558
2814
(Smijeh)
08:04
"I AM WINNIE MANDELA,
175
472396
1793
"JA SAM WINNIE MANDELA,
08:07
THE SECOND WIFE OF NELSON MANDELA
THE FORMER SOUTH AFRICAN PRESIDENT."
THE FORMER SOUTH AFRICAN PRESIDENT."
176
475094
3294
DRUGA SUPRUGA NELSONA MANDELE,
BIVŠEG PREDSJEDNIKA JUŽNE AFRIKE."
BIVŠEG PREDSJEDNIKA JUŽNE AFRIKE."
08:10
I was like, oh! -- that Winnie Mandela.
177
478412
1903
Pomislih, "Ah! Ta Winnie Mandela."
08:12
(Laughter)
178
480339
1081
(Smijeh)
08:13
I know so many.
179
481444
1150
Toliko ih mnogo znam.
08:15
"I NEED TO TRANSFER 45 MILLION DOLLARS
OUT OF THE COUNTRY
OUT OF THE COUNTRY
180
483546
3056
"MORAM PREBACITI 45 MILIJUNA
DOLARA IZVAN ZEMLJE
DOLARA IZVAN ZEMLJE
08:18
BECAUSE OF MY HUSBAND
NELSON MANDELA'S HEALTH CONDITION."
NELSON MANDELA'S HEALTH CONDITION."
181
486626
2770
ZBOG ZDRAVSTVENOG STANJA
MOG MUŽA NELSONA MANDELE."
MOG MUŽA NELSONA MANDELE."
08:21
Let that sink in.
182
489420
1159
Razmislite malo o ovoj poruci.
08:23
She sent me this, which is hysterical.
183
491864
2640
Poslala mi je ovo, što je urnebesno.
08:26
(Laughter)
184
494528
2947
(Smijeh)
08:29
And this.
185
497499
1159
I ovo.
08:30
And this looks fairly legitimate,
this is a letter of authorization.
this is a letter of authorization.
186
498682
3199
Ovo izgleda validno,
ovo je punomoć.
ovo je punomoć.
08:33
But to be honest, if there's nothing
written on it, it's just a shape!
written on it, it's just a shape!
187
501905
3389
Ali iskreno, da nema ničega napisanog,
izgledalo bi samo kao neki oblik!
izgledalo bi samo kao neki oblik!
08:37
(Laughter)
188
505318
1853
(Smijeh)
08:39
I said, "Winnie,
I'm really sorry to hear of this.
I'm really sorry to hear of this.
189
507651
2342
Odgovorih, "Winnie, žao mi je to čuti.
08:42
Given that Nelson died three months ago,
190
510017
1993
S obzirom da je Nelson
preminuo prije tri mjeseca,
preminuo prije tri mjeseca,
08:44
I'd describe his health condition
as fairly serious."
as fairly serious."
191
512034
2586
rekao bih da je njegovo
zdravstveno stanje prilično ozbiljno.
zdravstveno stanje prilično ozbiljno.
08:46
(Laughter)
192
514644
2814
(Smijeh)
08:49
That's the worst health condition
you can have, not being alive.
you can have, not being alive.
193
517482
3519
To je najgore stanje koje
možeš imati, da nisi živ.
možeš imati, da nisi živ.
08:55
She said, "KINDLY COMPLY
WITH MY BANKERS INSTRUCTIONS.
WITH MY BANKERS INSTRUCTIONS.
194
523373
2771
Odgovorila je, "LJUBAZNO MOLIM DA
POSTUPATE PO UPUTAMA MOG BANKARA.
POSTUPATE PO UPUTAMA MOG BANKARA.
08:58
ONE LOVE."
195
526168
1158
JEDNA LJUBAV (ONE LOVE)."
08:59
(Laughter)
196
527350
1952
(Smijeh)
09:02
I said, "Of course. NO WOMAN, NO CRY."
197
530325
1818
Odgovorih, "Naravno. NO WOMAN NO CRY."
09:04
(Laughter)
198
532167
3504
(Smijeh)
09:07
(Applause)
199
535695
3496
(Pljesak)
09:12
She said, "MY BANKER WILL NEED
TRANSFER OF 3000 DOLLARS. ONE LOVE."
TRANSFER OF 3000 DOLLARS. ONE LOVE."
200
540701
3151
Ona odgovori, "MOJ BANKAR TREBA
PRIJENOS OD 3000 DOLARA. ONE LOVE."
PRIJENOS OD 3000 DOLARA. ONE LOVE."
09:15
(Laughter)
201
543876
2134
(Smijeh)
09:20
I said, "no problemo.
202
548010
1969
Odgovorih, "Nema frke.
09:24
I SHOT THE SHERIFF."
203
552422
1271
I SHOT THE SHERIFF."
09:29
[ (BUT I DID NOT SHOOT THE DEPUTY) ]
204
557813
1880
[ (BUT I DID NOT SHOOT THE DEPUTY) ]
09:31
(Laughter)
205
559717
1025
(Smijeh)
09:32
Thank you.
206
560766
1152
Hvala.
09:33
(Applause)
207
561942
13263
(Pljesak)
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
James Veitch - Comedian and writerFor James Veitch, a British writer and comedian with a mischievous side, spam emails proved the perfect opening to have some fun, playing the scammers at their own game.
Why you should listen
Packed full of Nigerian princes, can't miss investment opportunities and eligible Russian brides, James Veitch's correspondence with email spammers leads to surprising, bizarre and usually hilarious results. Out of this experiment came his first book, Dot Con. In 2014, his first solo comedy show The Fundamental Interconnectedness of Everyone with an Internet Connection, premiered at the Edinburgh Fringe to wide acclaim. His second show, Genius Bar, focussed on his time working for Apple, chronicles his attempts to fix his relationship using the same troubleshooting techniques he’d been using to fix iMacs, iPhones and iPods. He is currently writing his third show and preparing to tour the UK.
He lives in London with his full body pillow.
James Veitch | Speaker | TED.com