James Veitch: This is what happens when you reply to spam email
ジェイムズ・ヴィーチ: 詐欺メールに返信すると何が起きるのか
For James Veitch, a British writer and comedian with a mischievous side, spam emails proved the perfect opening to have some fun, playing the scammers at their own game. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
to get through my spam filter.
見事にかい潜り
but it turned up in my inbox,
ソロモン・オドンコという男
called Solomon Odonkoh.
I want to share with you, Solomon."
ソロモンより」
on the delete button, right?
I thought, I could just delete this.
このまま削除してもいいけど—
we've all always wanted to do.
やってみたかったことをしちゃおうかと
Your email intrigues me."
We shall be shipping Gold to you."
黄金を送らせていただきます」
of any gold you distributes."
あなたに入るダヨ」
with a professional.
with smaller quantity," --
going to do it, let's go big.
やるならビッグにやろう」
How much gold do you have?"
全部でどれだけあるのかね?」
of how much gold I have,
あなたが扱える量です
your capability of handling.
as trial shipment."
やる価値ないぞ」
at least a metric ton."
経営責任者だ
executive bank manager."
I've shipped bullion, my friend,
初めてじゃないんだよ 君
郵便を使うなら
via the postal service,
to convince my company
with you on this one.
ビジュアル資料を用意しよう
to take into the board meeting.
(笑)
any statisticians in the house,
わかりませんが
you'll find a helpful chart.
添付のチャートが使えるはずだ
run the numbers.
計算させた
as much gold as possible."
準備は万端だ」
こちらの心をつかもうとします
to tug your heartstrings,
if the deal goes well,
マージンが入るので」
a very good commission as well."
取り分は何に使うんだ?」
What are you going to spend your cut on?"
what about you?"
30 different varieties.
つけて食べたりもできるのさ
and you can dip them.
ソロモン君?」
my golden nugget, bonsoir."
僕の金塊くん おやすみ」
これが何週間も続くんです
this had been going for, like, weeks,
weeks of my life,
やむを得ず 打ち切ることに
do you want to come for a drink?"
となるわけで
an email about some gold."
to knock it on the head.
to a ridiculous conclusion.
セキュリティが気がかりだ
I'm concerned about security.
coming up with this code
徹夜で暗号を考えた
in all further correspondence:
Claim: Peanut M&Ms.
申請:ピーナッツM&M'S
巨大トカゲグミ」
they use, right?
知ってたからね
in all further correspondence."
私をキットカットと呼ぶように」
I thought, I've gone too far.
やりすぎたと思いました
So I had to backpedal a little.
この件はまだ生きてるのか?
あーだこーだ・・・」
and I am trying to blah blah blah ..."
I've ever received.
最強のメールが来ました
turned up in my inbox.
本当に届いたんです
for the Gummy Bear --
集めている最中です—
ジェリービーンズをすべて
Fizzy Cola Bottle Jelly Beans
始めてもらいます
as much time as could
できる限り
返信しまくったらどうなるだろう?
scam emails as I could?
replying to scam emails.
ありえないことが起こります
who do mean things to scammers.
たくさんいます
無駄使いしているだけです
they're spending with me
騙されやすい大人たちをカモってないわけ
scamming vulnerable adults
and I highly recommend you do --
非常にお勧めですよ—
最悪なことになりましたから
and it was a nightmare.
メールが千通届いてて
and have a thousand emails
真面目に僕の—
was a legitimate response --
any day is a good day
ラッキーだと思ってください
that begins like this:
THE FORMER SOUTH AFRICAN PRESIDENT."
ネルソン・マンデラの第二夫人です」
って思いました
OUT OF THE COUNTRY
国外に出さないとなりません
容態が芳しくなくて」
NELSON MANDELA'S HEALTH CONDITION."
面白すぎました
this is a letter of authorization.
証明書なんですけど
ただの図形だし!
written on it, it's just a shape!
I'm really sorry to hear of this.
大変お気の毒です
亡くなったことからも
as fairly serious."
you can have, not being alive.
これ以上悪くなりようがないでしょう
WITH MY BANKERS INSTRUCTIONS.
指示に従っていただけるかしら
[注:ボブ・マーリー歌詞]
NO WOMAN NO CRY」
[注:ボブ・マーリー歌詞]
TRANSFER OF 3000 DOLLARS. ONE LOVE."
ONE LOVE」
[注:ボブ・マーリー歌詞]
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
James Veitch - Comedian and writerFor James Veitch, a British writer and comedian with a mischievous side, spam emails proved the perfect opening to have some fun, playing the scammers at their own game.
Why you should listen
Packed full of Nigerian princes, can't miss investment opportunities and eligible Russian brides, James Veitch's correspondence with email spammers leads to surprising, bizarre and usually hilarious results. Out of this experiment came his first book, Dot Con. In 2014, his first solo comedy show The Fundamental Interconnectedness of Everyone with an Internet Connection, premiered at the Edinburgh Fringe to wide acclaim. His second show, Genius Bar, focussed on his time working for Apple, chronicles his attempts to fix his relationship using the same troubleshooting techniques he’d been using to fix iMacs, iPhones and iPods. He is currently writing his third show and preparing to tour the UK.
He lives in London with his full body pillow.
James Veitch | Speaker | TED.com