James Veitch: This is what happens when you reply to spam email
James Veitch: Ez történik, mikor válaszolunk egy spam emailre!
For James Veitch, a British writer and comedian with a mischievous side, spam emails proved the perfect opening to have some fun, playing the scammers at their own game. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
to get through my spam filter.
but it turned up in my inbox,
de az inboxomban kötött ki.
called Solomon Odonkoh.
nevű fickó írta.
I want to share with you, Solomon."
ajánlatom. Solomon."
on the delete button, right?
körözött, tudják!
Bevillant, hogy simán ki kellene törölni!
I thought, I could just delete this.
we've all always wanted to do.
mindannyian mindig is vágytunk!
"Solomon, leveled felcsigázott!"
Your email intrigues me."
Hamarosan aranyat küldünk Önnek."
We shall be shipping Gold to you."
of any gold you distributes."
with a professional.
hogy profival van dolgom.
with smaller quantity," --
going to do it, let's go big.
csináljuk rendesen!
How much gold do you have?"
Mennyi aranyad van?"
of how much gold I have,
mennyi aranyam van,
your capability of handling.
as trial shipment."
at least a metric ton."
executive bank manager."
bank menedzser vagyok."
szállítok, barátom!
I've shipped bullion, my friend,
via the postal service,
to convince my company
with you on this one.
to take into the board meeting.
az igazgatósági ülésre.
any statisticians in the house,
you'll find a helpful chart.
egy hasznos kis grafikont a levélhez.
lefuttattam a számokat.
run the numbers.
as much gold as possible."
legtöbb arany szállítására!"
to tug your heartstrings,
amikor az ember érzelmeire játszanak,
ha jól sikerül az üzlet,
if the deal goes well,
a very good commission as well."
költeni a te részed?"
What are you going to spend your cut on?"
what about you?"
30 different varieties.
and you can dip them.
is lehet mártogatni bele!
my golden nugget, bonsoir."
bonsoir!"
this had been going for, like, weeks,
és ugyan eddigi életem
weeks of my life,
jössz meginni valamit?"
do you want to come for a drink?"
várok e-mailt."
an email about some gold."
hogy ennek véget kell vetni.
to knock it on the head.
nevetséges záróakkorddal.
to a ridiculous conclusion.
aggódom a biztonságunk miatt.
I'm concerned about security.
coming up with this code
ezen a kódon melóztam,
in all further correspondence:
Igénylés: Mogyorós M&M
Claim: Peanut M&Ms.
szavak.
they use, right?
in all further correspondence."
túl messzire mentem.
I thought, I've gone too far.
So I had to backpedal a little.
Szóval visszakoznom kellett picit.
and I am trying to blah blah blah ..."
és próbálom blablabla…"
I've ever received.
legfantasztikusabb e-mailjét.
turned up in my inbox.
for the Gummy Bear --
a mérleget a Gumimacinak --
Fizzy Cola Bottle Jelly Beans
az összes Savanyú cola gumicukrot
folyamat elindulhasson.
as much time as could
szélhámos levelekre való
scam emails as I could?
ilyen átverős e-mailre válaszol.
replying to scam emails.
amit csinálok.
who do mean things to scammers.
annyi idővel
they're spending with me
felnőttek
scamming vulnerable adults
and I highly recommend you do --
igen-igen javaslom, hogy tegyék,
egy új e-mail címet álnéven.
and it was a nightmare.
és kész rémálom volt!
levelem érkezett
and have a thousand emails
valódi válaszlevél
was a legitimate response --
any day is a good day
bármelyik jó lehet,
that begins like this:
így kezdődik:
MINISZTERELNÖK MÁSODIK FELESÉGE."
THE FORMER SOUTH AFRICAN PRESIDENT."
hát AZ a Winnie Mandela!"
OUT OF THE COUNTRY
AZ ORSZÁGBÓL
NELSON MANDELA'S HEALTH CONDITION."
ÁLLAPOTA MIATT."
this is a letter of authorization.
ami egész valódinak tűnik.
written on it, it's just a shape!
rá semmit, ez csupán egy ábra.
I'm really sorry to hear of this.
"Winnie, ezt sajnálattal hallom.
ezelőtt elhunyt,
rossznak nevezném."
as fairly serious."
you can have, not being alive.
csak lehetünk -- ha nem vagyunk életben.
WITH MY BANKERS INSTRUCTIONS.
TELJESÍTENI BANKÁRAIM UTASÍTÁSAIT."
TRANSFER OF 3000 DOLLARS. ONE LOVE."
A BANKÁROMNAK. ONE LOVE."
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
James Veitch - Comedian and writerFor James Veitch, a British writer and comedian with a mischievous side, spam emails proved the perfect opening to have some fun, playing the scammers at their own game.
Why you should listen
Packed full of Nigerian princes, can't miss investment opportunities and eligible Russian brides, James Veitch's correspondence with email spammers leads to surprising, bizarre and usually hilarious results. Out of this experiment came his first book, Dot Con. In 2014, his first solo comedy show The Fundamental Interconnectedness of Everyone with an Internet Connection, premiered at the Edinburgh Fringe to wide acclaim. His second show, Genius Bar, focussed on his time working for Apple, chronicles his attempts to fix his relationship using the same troubleshooting techniques he’d been using to fix iMacs, iPhones and iPods. He is currently writing his third show and preparing to tour the UK.
He lives in London with his full body pillow.
James Veitch | Speaker | TED.com