TEDxWomen 2011
Tan Le: My immigration story
Tan Le: Moja priseljenska zgodba
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Readability: 3.5
1,296,505 views
Leta 2010 je tehnologinja Tan Le na TEDGlobal-ovem odru predstavila nov računalniški vmesnik. Zdaj pa na TEDxŽenske pripoveduje zelo osebno zgodbo o svoji družini: materi, babici in sestri, ki so zbežale iz Vietnama in si ustvarile novo življenje.
Tan Le - Entrepreneur
Tan Le is the founder & CEO of Emotiv, a bioinformatics company that's working on identifying biomarkers for mental and other neurological conditions using electroencephalography (EEG). Full bio
Tan Le is the founder & CEO of Emotiv, a bioinformatics company that's working on identifying biomarkers for mental and other neurological conditions using electroencephalography (EEG). Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:15
How can I speak in 10 minutes
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Kako naj v desetih minutah povem,
00:18
about the bonds of women over three generations,
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kaj veže tri generacije žensk,
00:21
about how the astonishing strength of those bonds
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kako je osupljiva moč teh vezi
00:24
took hold in the life
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dala oporo življenju
00:26
of a four-year-old girl
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štiriletne deklice,
00:28
huddled with her young sister,
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ki se je stiskala z mlajšo sestro,
00:30
her mother and her grandmother
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mamo in babico
00:32
for five days and nights
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pet dni in noči
00:34
in a small boat in the China Sea
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na majhnem čolnu v Kitajskem morju
00:36
more than 30 years ago,
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pred več kot tridesetimi leti;
00:39
bonds that took hold in the life of that small girl
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vezi, ki so dale oporo deklici
00:41
and never let go --
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in nikoli niso popustile ...
00:44
that small girl now living in San Francisco
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deklici, ki zdaj živi v San Franciscu
00:46
and speaking to you today?
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in je danes pred vami?
00:49
This is not a finished story.
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To ni končana zgodba.
00:52
It is a jigsaw puzzle still being put together.
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To je še nedokončana sestavljanka.
00:55
Let me tell you about some of the pieces.
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Dovolite, da vam predstavim nekatere koščke.
00:59
Imagine the first piece:
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Zamislite si prvi košček:
01:01
a man burning his life's work.
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na njem je moški, ki zažiga svoje življensko delo.
01:04
He is a poet, a playwright,
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Pesnik je, dramatik,
01:07
a man whose whole life
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moški, katerega celo življenje
01:09
had been balanced on the single hope
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je viselo na upanju,
01:11
of his country's unity and freedom.
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da bo njegova dežela enotna in svobodna.
01:14
Imagine him as the communists enter Saigon,
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Zamislite si ga, ko so komunisti vkorakali v Saigon,
01:17
confronting the fact
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ko se je soočil z dejstvom,
01:19
that his life had been a complete waste.
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da je bilo njegovo življenje zaman.
01:21
Words, for so long his friends, now mocked him.
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Besede, njegovi dolgoletni prijatelji, so se mu posmehovale.
01:24
He retreated into silence.
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Umaknil se je v molk.
01:27
He died broken by history.
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Umrl je, zlomila ga je zgodovina.
01:31
He is my grandfather.
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To je moj dedek.
01:33
I never knew him in real life.
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Nikoli ga nisem poznala.
01:37
But our lives are much more than our memories.
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A naša življenja so veliko več kot spomini.
01:41
My grandmother never let me forget his life.
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Babica mi ni dovolila pozabiti njegovega življenja.
01:44
My duty was not to allow it to have been in vain,
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Nisem smela dovoliti, da bi bilo zaman
01:47
and my lesson was to learn
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in morala sem se naučiti,
01:49
that, yes, history tried to crush us,
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da nas je zgodovina skušala streti,
01:52
but we endured.
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a smo vztrajale.
01:54
The next piece of the jigsaw
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Na naslednjem koščku sestavljanke
01:56
is of a boat in the early dawn
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je čoln, ki v ranem jutru
01:58
slipping silently out to sea.
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tiho drsi na odprto morje.
02:01
My mother, Mai, was 18
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Moji mami Mai je bilo 18 let,
02:03
when her father died --
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ko je dedek umrl.
02:05
already in an arranged marriage,
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Njena poroka je bila dogovorjena,
02:07
already with two small girls.
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imela je že dve deklici.
02:10
For her, life had distilled itself into one task:
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Zadala si je le eno nalogo:
02:13
the escape of her family
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da bo z družino zbežala
02:15
and a new life in Australia.
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in začela novo življenje v Avstraliji.
02:18
It was inconceivable to her
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Ni si mogla zamisliti,
02:20
that she would not succeed.
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da ji ne bi uspelo.
02:22
So after a four-year saga that defies fiction,
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Po štiriletni sagi, ki presega domišljijo,
02:25
a boat slipped out to sea
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se je čoln izmuznil na odprto morje
02:27
disguised as a fishing vessel.
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pod krinko ribiške ladje.
02:30
All the adults knew the risks.
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Vsi odrasli so vedeli, kaj tvegajo.
02:33
The greatest fear was of pirates,
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Najbolj so se bali piratov,
02:35
rape and death.
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posilstva in smrti.
02:37
Like most adults on the boat,
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Kot večina odraslih na čolnu
02:39
my mother carried a small bottle of poison.
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je imela moja mati pri sebi stekleničko strupa.
02:43
If we were captured, first my sister and I,
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Če bi nas ujeli, bi ga spile,
02:46
then she and my grandmother would drink.
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najprej sestra in jaz, nato mama in babica.
02:50
My first memories are from the boat --
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Moji prvi spomini so z ladje -
02:52
the steady beat of the engine,
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enakomeren ropot motorja,
02:54
the bow dipping into each wave,
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ladijski kljun, ki se potaplja v valove,
02:57
the vast and empty horizon.
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širno in prazno obzorje.
03:00
I don't remember the pirates who came many times,
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Ne spomnim se piratov, ki so prišli velikokrat,
03:03
but were bluffed by the bravado
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a jih je pregnala drznost
03:05
of the men on our boat,
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moških z naše ladje,
03:07
or the engine dying
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ali pokvarjenega motorja,
03:09
and failing to start for six hours.
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ki se šest ur ni hotel zagnati.
03:12
But I do remember the lights on the oil rig
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Spomnim pa se luči na naftni ploščadi
03:14
off the Malaysian coast
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blizu malezijske obale
03:16
and the young man who collapsed and died,
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in mladega fanta, ki se je sesedel in umrl,
03:19
the journey's end too much for him,
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ker je bil cilj zanj predaleč.
03:22
and the first apple I tasted,
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Prvo jabolko, ki sem ga kdaj poskusila,
03:24
given to me by the men on the rig.
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so mi dali delavci z naftne ploščadi.
03:27
No apple has ever tasted the same.
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Nobeno jabolko zatem ni imelo enakega okusa.
03:32
After three months in a refugee camp,
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Po treh mesecih v begunskem taborišču
03:34
we landed in Melbourne.
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smo pristale v Melbournu.
03:36
And the next piece of the jigsaw
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Na naslednjem koščku sestavljanke
03:38
is about four women across three generations
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so štiri ženske iz treh generacij,
03:41
shaping a new life together.
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ki skupaj oblikujejo novo življenje.
03:44
We settled in Footscray,
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Nastanile smo se v Footscrayju,
03:46
a working-class suburb
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delavskem predmestju,
03:48
whose demographic is layers of immigrants.
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katerega prebivalstvo so plasti priseljencev.
03:51
Unlike the settled middle-class suburbs,
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V nasprotju s predmestji, kjer živijo srednji sloji,
03:53
whose existence I was oblivious of,
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o katerih se mi niti sanjalo ni,
03:55
there was no sense of entitlement in Footscray.
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nismo imeli občutka, da smo do česa upravičeni.
03:58
The smells from shop doors were from the rest of the world.
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Vonji iz trgovin so bili od drugod.
04:01
And the snippets of halting English
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Ljudje so izmenjavali
04:03
were exchanged between people
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drobce oklevajoče angleščine,
04:05
who had one thing in common,
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ljudje, ki so imeli le eno skupno stvar -
04:07
they were starting again.
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začenjali so znova.
04:10
My mother worked on farms,
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Moja mati je delala na kmetijah,
04:12
then on a car assembly line,
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nato na tekočem traku tovarne avtomobilov,
04:14
working six days, double shifts.
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delala je 6 dni v dveh izmenah.
04:16
Somehow she found time to study English
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Nekako je našla čas za učenje angleščine
04:19
and gain IT qualifications.
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in si pridobila računalniško znanje.
04:21
We were poor.
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Bile smo revne.
04:23
All the dollars were allocated
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Poraba denarja je bila točno določena,
04:25
and extra tuition in English and mathematics
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vedno je moral biti denar za učenje
04:27
was budgeted for
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angleščine in matematike,
04:29
regardless of what missed out,
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ne glede na to, za kaj ga je zmanjkalo,
04:32
which was usually new clothes;
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ponavadi za nova oblačila,
04:34
they were always secondhand.
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ki so bila vedno rabljena.
04:36
Two pairs of stockings for school,
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Dva para nogavic za v šolo,
04:39
each to hide the holes in the other.
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ena nogavica je skrivala luknje druge.
04:41
A school uniform down to the ankles,
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Šolska uniforma je bila do gležnjev,
04:43
because it had to last for six years.
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ker je morala zdržati 6 let.
04:47
And there were rare but searing chants
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Včasih sem slišala skandiranje:
04:49
of "slit-eye"
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"Poševnooka!"
04:51
and the occasional graffiti:
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in občasno videla grafite:
04:53
"Asian, go home."
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"Azijci, pojdite domov!"
04:55
Go home to where?
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Kam naj grem domov?
04:57
Something stiffened inside me.
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Nekaj je otrpnilo v meni.
05:00
There was a gathering of resolve
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Oblikovala se je odločnost
05:02
and a quiet voice saying, "I will bypass you."
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in tihi glas je dejal: "Ne bom se zmenila za vas."
05:06
My mother, my sister and I
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Mati, sestra in jaz
05:08
slept in the same bed.
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smo spale v isti postelji.
05:11
My mother was exhausted each night,
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Mati je bila vsako noč izčrpana,
05:13
but we told one another about our day
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a vseeno smo se pogovarjale
05:15
and listened to the movements
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in poslušale premikanje
05:17
of my grandmother around the house.
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babice po hiši.
05:19
My mother suffered from nightmares
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Mati je imela nočne more,
05:21
all about the boat.
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predvsem o čolnu.
05:24
And my job was to stay awake until her nightmares came
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Moje delo je bilo, da ostanem budna,
05:27
so I could wake her.
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in jo zbudim, ko se more začnejo.
05:30
She opened a computer store
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Odprla je trgovino z računalniki,
05:32
then studied to be a beautician
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nato je šla v kozmetično šolo
05:34
and opened another business.
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in odprla še eno podjetje.
05:36
And the women came with their stories
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Prišle so ženske z zgodbami
05:38
about men who could not make the transition,
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o moških, ki niso zmogli prehoda,
05:40
angry and inflexible,
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jeznih in neprilagodljivih,
05:42
and troubled children caught between two worlds.
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ter o zbeganih otrocih, ujetih med dvema svetovoma.
05:45
Grants and sponsors were sought.
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Iskali smo štipendije in sponzorje.
05:48
Centers were established.
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Ustanovili smo centre.
05:50
I lived in parallel worlds.
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Živela sem v vzporednih svetovih.
05:52
In one, I was the classic Asian student,
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V enem sem bila tipična azijska študentka,
05:56
relentless in the demands that I made on myself.
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neomajna v zahtevah do sebe.
05:59
In the other, I was enmeshed in lives that were precarious,
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V drugem sem bila vpletena v negotova življenja,
06:02
tragically scarred by violence,
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tragično ožigosana z nasiljem,
06:04
drug abuse and isolation.
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drogami in osamljenostjo.
06:07
But so many over the years were helped.
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A tekom let smo pomagali veliko ljudem.
06:09
And for that work, when I was a final year law student,
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Za to delo sem bila v zadnjem letniku študija prava
06:12
I was chosen as the young Australian of the year.
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izbrana za mlado Avstralijko leta.
06:15
And I was catapulted
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To me je katapultiralo
06:17
from one piece of the jigsaw to another,
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z enega koščka sestavljanke na drugega,
06:19
and their edges didn't fit.
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njuni robovi pa se niso ujemali.
06:21
Tan Le, anonymous Footscray resident,
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Tan Le, anonimna prebivalka Footscrayja,
06:23
was now Tan Le, refugee and social activist,
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je postala Tan Le, begunka in socialna aktivistka,
06:27
invited to speak in venues she had never heard of
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ki so jo vabili, da govori na prireditvah, o katerih ni nikoli slišala,
06:30
and into homes whose existence
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in v domove,
06:32
she could never have imagined.
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ki si jih niti zamisliti ni mogla.
06:34
I didn't know the protocols.
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Nisem poznala protokolov.
06:36
I didn't know how to use the cutlery.
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Nisem znala uporabljati pripora.
06:39
I didn't know how to talk about wine.
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Nisem se znala pogovarjati o vinu.
06:42
I didn't know how to talk about anything.
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Nisem se znala pogovarjati o ničemer.
06:46
I wanted to retreat to the routines and comfort
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Želela sem se umakniti v rutino in udobje
06:49
of life in an unsung suburb --
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življenja v neopevanem predmestju -
06:52
a grandmother, a mother and two daughters
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babica, mati in dve hčerki,
06:55
ending each day as they had for almost 20 years,
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ki so že dvajset let na enak način zaključile svoj dan,
06:58
telling one another the story of their day
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si pripovedovale, kako je potekal,
07:00
and falling asleep,
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in vse tri še vedno
07:02
the three of us still in the same bed.
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zaspale v isti postelji.
07:06
I told my mother I couldn't do it.
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Rekla sem mami, da tega ne zmorem.
07:10
She reminded me that I was now the same age she had been
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Spomnila me je, da sem stara toliko, ko je bila ona,
07:13
when we boarded the boat.
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ko smo se vkrcale na čoln.
07:16
No had never been an option.
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Beseda "ne" ni bila nikoli na izbiro.
07:19
"Just do it," she said,
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"Pojdi," je rekla,
07:21
"and don't be what you're not."
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"in ne bodi to, kar nisi."
07:24
So I spoke out on youth unemployment and education
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Tako sem govorila o nezaposlenosti mladih in izobraževanju,
07:27
and the neglect of the marginalized and the disenfranchised.
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o zapostavljanju obrobnežev in brezpravnih.
07:30
And the more candidly I spoke,
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Bolj odkrito sem govorila,
07:32
the more I was asked to speak.
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bolj so me vabili, naj govorim.
07:35
I met people from all walks of life,
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Spoznala sem ljudi različnih poklicev,
07:38
so many of them doing the thing they loved,
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veliko jih je delalo to, kar jih veseli,
07:40
living on the frontiers of possibility.
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živeli so na meji možnega.
07:43
And even though I finished my degree,
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Čeprav sem diplomirala, sem spoznala,
07:46
I realized I could not settle into a career in law.
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da pravo ni zame.
07:49
There had to be another piece of the jigsaw.
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Nekje je moral biti še en košček sestavljanke.
07:52
And I realized at the same time
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Istočasno sem tudi spoznala,
07:55
that it is okay to be an outsider,
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da je v redu, če ne spadaš v družbo,
07:57
a recent arrival,
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če si prišel pred kratkim,
07:59
new on the scene --
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če si nov na sceni.
08:01
and not just okay,
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Ne le v redu,
08:03
but something to be thankful for,
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ampak nekaj, za kar si lahko hvaležen,
08:05
perhaps a gift from the boat.
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morda darilo s čolna.
08:08
Because being an insider
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Kajti če spadaš v družbo,
08:10
can so easily mean collapsing the horizons,
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to lahko pomeni, da imaš zoženo obzorje,
08:12
can so easily mean
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lahko pomeni,
08:14
accepting the presumptions of your province.
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da sprejemaš mnenje svoje okolice.
08:17
I have stepped outside my comfort zone enough now
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Tolikokrat sem se znašla v neugodnem položaju,
08:20
to know that, yes, the world does fall apart,
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da vem, da se svet sesuje,
08:22
but not in the way that you fear.
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ampak ne tako, kot se mi bojimo.
08:25
Possibilities that would not have been allowed
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Možnosti, ki ne bi bile dovoljenje,
08:27
were outrageously encouraged.
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so bile pretirano spodbujane.
08:29
There was an energy there,
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Obstajala je energija,
08:31
an implacable optimism,
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neizprosen optimizem,
08:33
a strange mixture of humility and daring.
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čudna mešanica ponižnosti in drznosti.
08:36
So I followed my hunches.
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Sledila sem torej svojim občutkom.
08:38
I gathered around me a small team of people
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Okoli sebe sem zbrala skupino ljudi,
08:41
for whom the label "It can't be done"
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za katere je bila oznaka "To je nemogoče narediti"
08:43
was an irresistible challenge.
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izziv, ki se mu niso mogli upreti.
08:46
For a year we were penniless.
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Eno leto smo bili brez prebite pare.
08:48
At the end of each day, I made a huge pot of soup
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Ob koncu dneva sem skuhala
08:50
which we all shared.
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velik lonec juhe za vse nas.
08:52
We worked well into each night.
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Delali smo pozno v noč.
08:55
Most of our ideas were crazy,
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Večina naših idej je bila norih,
08:57
but a few were brilliant,
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a nekaj je bilo odličnih
08:59
and we broke through.
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in uspelo nam je.
09:02
I made the decision to move to the U.S.
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Odločila sem se, da se preselim v ZDA,
09:04
after only one trip.
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le po enem potovanju.
09:06
My hunches again.
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Spet moji občutki.
09:08
Three months later I had relocated,
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Čez tri mesece sem se preselila
09:10
and the adventure has continued.
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in avantura se je nadaljevala.
09:13
Before I close though,
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Preden zaključim,
09:15
let me tell you about my grandmother.
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naj vam povem nekaj o babici.
09:18
She grew up at a time
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Odrasla je v času
09:20
when Confucianism was the social norm
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ko je bilo konfucijanstvo socialna norma
09:22
and the local Mandarin was the person who mattered.
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in je bil lokalni mandarin zelo pomemben.
09:25
Life hadn't changed for centuries.
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Življenje je bilo že stoletja nespremenjeno.
09:28
Her father died soon after she was born.
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Njen oče je umrl kmalu po njenem rojstvu.
09:32
Her mother raised her alone.
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Mati jo je sama vzgajala.
09:35
At 17 she became the second wife
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Pri sedemnajstih je postala mandarinova druga žena,
09:38
of a Mandarin whose mother beat her.
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njegova mati pa jo je pretepala.
09:41
With no support from her husband,
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Brez moževe podpore
09:43
she caused a sensation by taking him to court
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je zbudila pozornost, ko ga je zvlekla na sodišče
09:46
and prosecuting her own case,
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in se sama zastopala,
09:48
and a far greater sensation when she won.
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še večjo pozornost pa, ko je dobila pravdo.
09:51
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
09:53
(Applause)
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(Aplavz)
09:57
"It can't be done" was shown to be wrong.
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Izjava "To je nemogoče narediti" je bila dokazano napačna.
10:03
I was taking a shower in a hotel room in Sydney
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Tuširala sem se v hotelu v Sydneyju
10:06
the moment she died
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v trenutku, ko je umrla
10:08
600 miles away in Melbourne.
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v 960 km oddaljenem Melbournu.
10:11
I looked through the shower screen
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Pogledala sem skozi vrata tuša
10:13
and saw her standing on the other side.
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in jo videla na drugi strani.
10:16
I knew she had come to say goodbye.
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Vedela sem, da se je prišla poslovit.
10:18
My mother phoned minutes later.
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Moja mati je telefonirala nekaj minut zatem.
10:21
A few days later,
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Nekaj dni kasneje
10:23
we went to a Buddhist temple in Footscray
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smo šle v budistični tempelj v Footscrayju
10:25
and sat around her casket.
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in sedele ob njeni krsti.
10:27
We told her stories
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Pripovedovale smo ji zgodbe
10:29
and assured her that we were still with her.
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in ji zagotovile, da smo še vedno z njo.
10:32
At midnight the monk came
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Ob polnoči je prišel menih
10:35
and told us he had to close the casket.
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in nam dejal, da mora zapreti krsto.
10:38
My mother asked us to feel her hand.
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Mati nama je rekla, naj potipava njeno roko.
10:41
She asked the monk,
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Vprašala je meniha:
10:43
"Why is it that her hand is so warm
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"Zakaj je njena roka tako topla,
10:45
and the rest of her is so cold?"
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ostali del telesa pa tako hladen?"
10:48
"Because you have been holding it since this morning," he said.
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"Ker jo držite v rokah že od jutra," je dejal.
10:52
"You have not let it go."
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"Niste je spustile."
10:57
If there is a sinew in our family,
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Moč se v naši družini
10:59
it runs through the women.
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pretaka skozi ženske.
11:01
Given who we were and how life had shaped us,
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Glede na to, kdo smo bile in kako nas je življenje oblikovalo,
11:04
we can now see
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zdaj vidimo,
11:06
that the men who might have come into our lives
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da bi nam moški v naših življenjih
11:08
would have thwarted us.
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prekrižali načrte.
11:10
Defeat would have come too easily.
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Prehitro bi bile poražene.
11:13
Now I would like to have my own children,
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Zdaj bi rada imela svoje otroke
11:15
and I wonder about the boat.
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in razmišljam o čolnu.
11:18
Who could ever wish it on their own?
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Kdo bi ga želel svojim lastnim?
11:21
Yet I am afraid of privilege,
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A vendarle me je strah privilegijev,
11:23
of ease,
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udobnosti,
11:25
of entitlement.
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pravice do nečesa.
11:27
Can I give them a bow in their lives,
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Jim lahko dam ladijski kljun,
11:29
dipping bravely into each wave,
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ki se bo pogumno potapljal v valove,
11:32
the unperturbed and steady beat of the engine,
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nemoten in enakomeren ropot motorja,
11:35
the vast horizon
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širno obzorje,
11:37
that guarantees nothing?
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ki nič ne zagotavlja?
11:39
I don't know.
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Ne vem.
11:41
But if I could give it
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A če bi jim ga lahko dala
11:43
and still see them safely through,
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in jih še vedno varno prepeljala,
11:45
I would.
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bi to storila.
11:48
(Applause)
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(Aplavz)
12:00
Trevor Neilson: And also, Tan's mother is here today
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Z nami je danes tudi Tanina mati
12:03
in the fourth or fifth row.
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nekje v četrti ali peti vrsti.
12:06
(Applause)
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(Aplavz)
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Tan Le - EntrepreneurTan Le is the founder & CEO of Emotiv, a bioinformatics company that's working on identifying biomarkers for mental and other neurological conditions using electroencephalography (EEG).
Why you should listen
Tan Le is the co-founder and president of Emotiv. Before this, she headed a firm that worked on a new form of remote control that uses brainwaves to control digital devices and digital media. It's long been a dream to bypass the mechanical (mouse, keyboard, clicker) and have our digital devices respond directly to what we think. Emotiv's EPOC headset uses 16 sensors to listen to activity across the entire brain. Software "learns" what each user's brain activity looks like when one, for instance, imagines a left turn or a jump.
Le herself has an extraordinary story -- a refugee from Vietnam at age 4, she entered college at 16 and has since become a vital young leader in her home country of Australia.
Tan Le | Speaker | TED.com