TEDxAsheville
Jeffrey Kluger: The sibling bond
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Were you the favorite child, the wild child or the middle child? At TEDxAsheville, Jeffrey Kluger explores the profound life-long bond between brothers and sisters, and the influence of birth order, favoritism and sibling rivalry.
(Filmed at TEDxAsheville.)
Jeffrey Kluger - Senior Editor, TIME Magazine
A senior editor of science and technology reporting at TIME magazine, Jeffrey Kluger has written books on a wide range of science subjects, including the Polio vaccine, Apollo 13 and the effect of sibling relationships. Full bio
A senior editor of science and technology reporting at TIME magazine, Jeffrey Kluger has written books on a wide range of science subjects, including the Polio vaccine, Apollo 13 and the effect of sibling relationships. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
TED me je već ubedio da,
na jedan mali način, promenim svoj život
na jedan mali način, promenim svoj život
00:12
TED has already persuaded me
to change my life in one small way,
to change my life in one small way,
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00:16
by persuading me to change
the opening of my speech.
the opening of my speech.
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tako što me je naveo
da promenim uvod svog govora.
da promenim uvod svog govora.
00:19
I love this idea of engagement.
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Volim ovu ideju angažovanja.
00:22
So, when you leave here today,
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Stoga, kada danas odete odavde,
00:25
I'm going to ask you
to engage or re-engage
to engage or re-engage
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tražim od vas da se povežete
ili ponovo povežete
ili ponovo povežete
00:29
with some of the most important
people in your lives:
people in your lives:
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sa nekim od najvažnijih ljudi
u vašim životima:
u vašim životima:
00:31
your brothers and sisters.
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vašom braćom i sestrama.
00:33
It can be a profoundly
life-affirming thing to do,
life-affirming thing to do,
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To može značajno da unapredi
kvalitet vašeg života,
kvalitet vašeg života,
00:37
even if it isn't always easy.
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čak iako nije uvek lako uraditi.
00:40
This is a man named Elliot,
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Za ovog čoveka, Eliota,
00:43
for whom things were very difficult.
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život je bio veoma težak.
00:46
Elliot was a drunk.
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Eliot je bio pijanica.
00:48
He spent most of his life
battling alcoholism,
battling alcoholism,
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Proveo je većinu svog života
boreći se sa alkoholizmom,
boreći se sa alkoholizmom,
00:52
depression, morphine addiction,
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depresijom, ovisnošću o morfijumu,
00:54
and that life ended
when he was just 34 years old.
when he was just 34 years old.
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i taj život je završio kada je imao
samo 34 godine.
samo 34 godine.
00:58
What made things harder for Elliot
is that his last name was Roosevelt.
is that his last name was Roosevelt.
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Ono što je stvari činilo težim za Eliota
jeste što je njegovo prezime bilo Ruzvelt.
jeste što je njegovo prezime bilo Ruzvelt.
01:03
And he could never quite
get past the comparisons
get past the comparisons
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Nikada nije mogao u potpunosti
da prevaziđe poređenja
da prevaziđe poređenja
01:06
with his big brother Teddy,
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sa svojim starijim bratom Tedijem,
01:07
for whom things always seemed
to come a little bit easier.
to come a little bit easier.
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za koga se činilo da stvari
uvek teku mnogo lakše.
uvek teku mnogo lakše.
01:12
It wasn't easy being Bobby, either.
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Život nije bio lak ni za Bobija.
01:14
He was also the sibling of a president.
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On je takođe bio brat predsednika.
01:16
But he adored his brother, Jack.
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Međutim, on je obožavao svog brata Džeka.
01:19
He fought for him,
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Borio se za njega,
01:20
he worked for him.
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radio je za njega.
01:22
And when Jack died, he bled for him, too.
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A kada je Džek umro i krvario je za njega.
01:26
In the years that followed,
Bobby would smile,
Bobby would smile,
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Tokom sledećih godina, Bobi bi se smešio
01:29
but it seemed labored.
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ali sa naporom.
01:31
He'd lose himself in his work,
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Pokušao bi da se izgubi u poslu,
01:33
but it seemed tortured.
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ali je izgledalo mučno.
01:35
Bobby's own death, so similar to John's,
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Bobijeva smrt, toliko slična Džonovoj,
01:39
seems somehow fitting.
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izgledala je nekako primereno.
01:41
John Kennedy was robbed of his young life;
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Džon Kenedi bio je uskraćen
svog mladalačkog života;
svog mladalačkog života;
01:44
Bobby seemed almost
to have been relieved of his.
to have been relieved of his.
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Bobi skoro da je bio oslobođen svog.
01:49
There may be no relationship
that effects us more profoundly,
that effects us more profoundly,
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Možda ne postoji odnos
koji na nas više utiče,
koji na nas više utiče,
01:53
that's closer, finer, harder,
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koji je bliži, lepši, čvršći,
01:57
sweeter, happier, sadder,
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slađi, srećniji, tužniji,
02:00
more filled with joy or fraught with woe
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ispunjeniji sa radošću ili jadom
02:03
than the relationship we have
with our brothers and sisters.
with our brothers and sisters.
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nego što je odnos koji imamo
sa našom braćom i sestrama.
sa našom braćom i sestrama.
02:07
There's power in the sibling bond.
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Veza između nas i našeg
brata ili sestre ima moć.
brata ili sestre ima moć.
02:11
There's pageantry.
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Tu je raskoš,
02:14
There's petulance, too,
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kao i drskost.
02:15
as when Neil Bush,
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Kao što se Nil Buš,
02:18
sibling of both a president
and a governor, famously griped,
and a governor, famously griped,
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brat predsednika i guvernera, javno žalio:
02:22
"I've lost patience for being compared
to my older brothers,"
to my older brothers,"
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„Dosta mi je da me upoređuju
sa mojom starijom braćom.“
sa mojom starijom braćom.“
02:27
as if Jeb and George W
were somehow responsible
were somehow responsible
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Kao da su Džeb i Džordž V
bili na neki način odgovorni
bili na neki način odgovorni
02:31
for the savings and loan scandal
and the messy divorce
and the messy divorce
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za skandal o štednji i zajmu
ili za buran razvod
ili za buran razvod
02:34
that marked Neil in the public eye.
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koja je obeležila Nila u očima javnosti.
02:38
But more important
than all of these things,
than all of these things,
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Ali ono što je bitnije od svih ovih stvari
02:40
the sibling bond can be
a thing of abiding love.
a thing of abiding love.
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je to što veza između srodnika
može biti puna bezvremenske ljubavi.
može biti puna bezvremenske ljubavi.
02:44
Our parents leave us too early,
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Naši roditelji nas prerano napuštaju,
02:46
our spouse and our children
come along too late.
come along too late.
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naši supružnici i deca prekasno dođu.
02:50
Our siblings are the only ones
who are with us
who are with us
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Naša braća i sestre
su jedini koji su sa nama
su jedini koji su sa nama
02:53
for the entire ride.
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tokom celog života.
02:55
Over the arc of decades,
there may be nothing
there may be nothing
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Decenijama nije postojalo ništa
02:57
that defines us and forms us
more powerfully
more powerfully
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što bi nas moglo definisati
i oblikovati snažnije
i oblikovati snažnije
03:01
than our relationship
with our sisters and brothers.
with our sisters and brothers.
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od odnosa sa našim sestrama i braćom.
03:04
It was true for me,
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To je bila istina za mene,
03:06
it's true for your children
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to je istina za vašu decu,
03:08
and if you have siblings,
it's true for you, too.
it's true for you, too.
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a ukoliko imate brata ili sestru,
istina je i za vas.
istina je i za vas.
03:12
This picture was taken when Steve,
on the left, was eight years old.
on the left, was eight years old.
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Na ovoj fotografiji Stiv, skroz levo,
imao je osam godina.
imao je osam godina.
03:16
I was six, our brother Gary was five
and my brother Bruce was four.
and my brother Bruce was four.
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Ja sam imao šest, naš brat Geri pet,
i moj brat Brus četiri godine.
i moj brat Brus četiri godine.
03:21
I will not say what year it was taken.
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Neću vam reći koje godine je uslikana.
03:23
It was not this year.
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Nije bilo ove godine.
03:24
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
03:26
I open my new book, "The Sibling Effect,"
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Prvo poglavlje moje knjige,
„Efekat srodstva“, počinje
„Efekat srodstva“, počinje
03:29
on a Saturday morning,
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u subotu ujutro,
03:30
not long before this picture was taken,
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ne puno pre nego što je
ova fotografija nastala,
ova fotografija nastala,
03:32
when the three older brothers decided
that it might be a very good idea
that it might be a very good idea
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kada su tri starija brata odlučila
da bi bila sjajna ideja
da bi bila sjajna ideja
03:36
to lock the younger brother
in a fuse cabinet in our playroom.
in a fuse cabinet in our playroom.
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da zaključaju mlađeg brata u kutiju
sa osiguračima u našoj sobi za igru.
sa osiguračima u našoj sobi za igru.
03:40
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
03:41
We were, believe it or not,
trying to keep him safe.
trying to keep him safe.
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Pokušavali smo, verovali ili ne,
da ga održimo bezbednim.
da ga održimo bezbednim.
03:46
Our father was a hotheaded man,
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Naš otac je bio temperamentan čovek,
03:49
somebody who didn't take kindly
to being disturbed on Saturday mornings.
to being disturbed on Saturday mornings.
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neko ko nije voleo da ga
uznemiravaju subotom ujutro.
uznemiravaju subotom ujutro.
03:53
I don't know what he thought his life
would be like on Saturday mornings
would be like on Saturday mornings
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Ne znam šta je zamišljao kakav će
njegov život biti subotom ujutro
njegov život biti subotom ujutro
03:57
when he had four sons,
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kada je imao četiri sina
03:58
ages four years old or younger
when the youngest one was born,
when the youngest one was born,
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među kojima je najveća razlika
bila četiri godine,
bila četiri godine,
04:01
but they weren't quiet.
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ali ona nisu bila tiha.
04:03
He did not take to that well.
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Nije to dobro prihvatio,
04:05
And he would react to being
disturbed on a Saturday morning
disturbed on a Saturday morning
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te bi on reagovao na ta
jutarnja uznemiravanja
jutarnja uznemiravanja
04:09
by stalking into the playroom
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tako što bi umarširao u sobu
04:10
and administering a very freewheeling
form of a corporal punishment,
form of a corporal punishment,
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i sproveo veoma razuzdan oblik
telesnog kažnjavanja,
telesnog kažnjavanja,
04:14
lashing out at whoever
was within arms' reach.
was within arms' reach.
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udarajući svakoga
ko mu je bio na dohvat ruke.
ko mu je bio na dohvat ruke.
04:18
We were by no means battered children
but we did get hit,
but we did get hit,
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Nismo bili mlaćena deca,
ali bismo ponekad dobili batine
ali bismo ponekad dobili batine
04:22
and we found it terrifying.
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što bi nas prestrašilo.
04:24
So we devised a sort of
scatter-and-hide drill.
scatter-and-hide drill.
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Stoga smo smislili neku vrstu
„beži ko gde stigne“ vežbe.
„beži ko gde stigne“ vežbe.
04:27
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
04:28
As soon as we saw or heard
the footsteps coming,
the footsteps coming,
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Čim bismo videli ili čuli
korake kako se približavaju
korake kako se približavaju
04:32
Steve, the oldest, would wriggle
under the couch,
under the couch,
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Stiv, najstariji,
bi se zavukao ispod kauča,
bi se zavukao ispod kauča,
04:35
I would dive into the closet
in the playroom,
in the playroom,
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ja bih uleteo u ormar,
04:39
Gary would dive into
a window-seat toy chest,
a window-seat toy chest,
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Geri bi uronio u kovčeg za igračke,
04:42
but not before we closed
Bruce inside the fuse box.
Bruce inside the fuse box.
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ali ne pre nego što bismo zatvorili
Brusa u kutiju sa osiguračima.
Brusa u kutiju sa osiguračima.
04:45
We told him it was
Alan Shepard's space capsule,
Alan Shepard's space capsule,
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Rekli smo mu da je to svemirska
kapsula Alana Šeparda
kapsula Alana Šeparda
04:48
and that somehow made it work better.
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što je koliko toliko olakšalo stvar.
04:50
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
04:52
I dare say my father was never
fooled by this ruse.
fooled by this ruse.
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Usuđujem se da kažem da otac
nikada nije naseo na ovaj trik.
nikada nije naseo na ovaj trik.
04:56
And it was only in later
years that I began to think
years that I began to think
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Par godina kasnije sam shvatio
04:59
perhaps it wasn't a good idea
to squeeze a four-year-old
to squeeze a four-year-old
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kako verovatno nije bila dobra ideja
ugurati četvorogodišnjaka
ugurati četvorogodišnjaka
05:02
up against a panel of old-style,
un-screwable high-voltage fuses.
un-screwable high-voltage fuses.
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pored starinske table sa nezavrnutim,
visokonaponskim osiguračima.
visokonaponskim osiguračima.
05:07
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
05:08
But my brothers and I,
even through those unhappy times,
even through those unhappy times,
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Ali moja braća i ja smo,
čak i ta nesrećna vremena,
čak i ta nesrećna vremena,
05:13
came through them, with something
that was clear and hard and fine:
that was clear and hard and fine:
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uspeli da pregrmimo, i izađemo sa nečim
što je bilo jasnije, snažnije i lepše:
što je bilo jasnije, snažnije i lepše:
05:18
a primal appreciation
for the bond we shared.
for the bond we shared.
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onim prvobitnim cenjenjem
veze koju smo delili.
veze koju smo delili.
05:22
We were a unit -- a loud, messy
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Bili smo odred - glasan, prljav,
05:26
brawling, loyal, loving,
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stalno spreman za svađu,
lojalan, pun ljubavi,
lojalan, pun ljubavi,
05:29
lasting unit.
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trajan odred.
05:31
We felt much stronger that way
than we ever could as individuals.
than we ever could as individuals.
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Tako smo se osećali mnogo snažnije nego
što bismo se ikada osećali kao pojedinci.
što bismo se ikada osećali kao pojedinci.
05:35
And we knew that as our lives went on,
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Znali smo da ćemo se,
kako naši životi budu odmicali,
kako naši životi budu odmicali,
05:38
we could always be able
to call on that strength.
to call on that strength.
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uvek moći osloniti na tu snagu.
05:42
We're not alone.
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Nismo bili sami.
05:43
Until 15 years ago,
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Do pre 15 godina,
05:45
scientists didn't really pay much
attention to the sibling bond.
attention to the sibling bond.
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naučnici nisu obraćali puno pažnje
na vezu između srodnika.
na vezu između srodnika.
05:48
And with good reason:
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I to sa dobrim razlogom:
05:50
you have just one mother,
you have just one father
you have just one father
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imate samo jednu majku,
imate samo jednog oca,
imate samo jednog oca,
05:53
if you do marriage right,
you have one spouse for life.
you have one spouse for life.
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a ako se venčate kako treba,
imate i samo jednog supružnika u životu.
imate i samo jednog supružnika u životu.
05:56
Siblings can claim
none of that uniqueness.
none of that uniqueness.
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Srodnici nemaju nijednu
od tih jedinstvenosti.
od tih jedinstvenosti.
05:59
They're interchangeable, fungible,
a kind of household commodity.
a kind of household commodity.
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Oni su promenjiva, zamenjiva
vrsta domaćinstva.
vrsta domaćinstva.
06:03
Parents set up shop and begin stocking
their shelves with inventory,
their shelves with inventory,
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Roditelji otvaraju radnju i započinju
skladištenje polica sa inventarom,
skladištenje polica sa inventarom,
06:07
the only limitation being sperm,
egg and economics.
egg and economics.
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gde jedini limit čine spermatozoidi,
jajne ćelije i ekonomija.
jajne ćelije i ekonomija.
06:10
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
06:12
As long as you can keep breathing,
you may as well keep stocking.
you may as well keep stocking.
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Dokle god dišete, možete da skladištite.
06:15
Now, nature is perfectly happy
with that arrangement,
with that arrangement,
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Priroda je savršeno zadovoljna
tim aranžmanom,
tim aranžmanom,
06:19
because our primal directive here
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jer je naša primitivna uloga
06:21
is to get as many of our genes
as possible into the next generation.
as possible into the next generation.
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da prosledimo što je više moguće
gena sledećoj generaciji.
gena sledećoj generaciji.
06:26
Animals wrestle with
these same issues, too,
these same issues, too,
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Životinje se takođe bore
sa ovim istim problemima,
sa ovim istim problemima,
06:29
but they have a more straightforward way
of dealing with things.
of dealing with things.
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ali one imaju direktniji način
da se izbore sa njima.
da se izbore sa njima.
06:32
A crested penguin that has laid two eggs
will take a good look at them
will take a good look at them
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Snerski pingvin koji je polegao
dva jajeta će ih dobro pogledati
dva jajeta će ih dobro pogledati
06:36
and boot the smaller one out of the nest,
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i izbaciti manje iz gnezda,
06:39
the better to focus her attentions
on the presumably heartier chick
on the presumably heartier chick
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kako bi se bolje fokusirala na,
po svoj prilici, jače mladunče
po svoj prilici, jače mladunče
06:42
in the bigger shell.
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koje je u većoj ljuski.
06:45
A black eagle will allow
all of her chicks to hatch
all of her chicks to hatch
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Crni orao će pustit sve
svoje ptiće da se izlegnu,
svoje ptiće da se izlegnu,
06:48
and then stand back while the bigger ones
fight it out with the little ones,
fight it out with the little ones,
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pa će se udaljiti dok oni veći
ne pobede one manje,
ne pobede one manje,
06:52
typically ripping them to ribbons
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najčešće kidajući ih na komadiće,
06:54
and then settling back
to grow up in peace.
to grow up in peace.
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te se onda vratiti nazad
i odgojiti ih u miru.
i odgojiti ih u miru.
06:57
Piglets, cute as they are,
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Prasići, koliko god da su slatki,
06:59
are born with a strange
little outward set of pointing teeth,
little outward set of pointing teeth,
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su rođeni sa malom grupom
čudnih zuba koji štrče napolje,
čudnih zuba koji štrče napolje,
07:03
that they use to jab at one another
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a koje koriste da ubadaju jedni druge
07:05
as they compete
for the choicest nursing spots.
for the choicest nursing spots.
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dok se takmiče za najbolje
mesto za sisanje.
mesto za sisanje.
07:10
The problem for scientists
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Problem za naučnike
07:12
was that this whole idea of siblings
as second-class citizens
as second-class citizens
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je što cela ova ideja srodnika
kao drugorazrednih građana
kao drugorazrednih građana
07:17
never really seemed to hold up.
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nikada nije zaista opstala.
07:21
After the researchers
had learned all they could
had learned all they could
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Nakon što su naučnici
naučili sve što su mogli
naučili sve što su mogli
07:24
from the relationships in the family,
mothers and other relationships,
mothers and other relationships,
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o odnosima u porodici,
majkama i drugim odnosima,
majkama i drugim odnosima,
07:30
they still came up with some
temperamental dark matter
temperamental dark matter
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i dalje bi dolazili do shvatanja neke
temperamentne mračne materije
temperamentne mračne materije
07:33
that was pulling at us,
143
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koja bi nas privlačila,
07:35
exerting a gravity all its own.
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isijavajući gravitaciju sama po sebi,
07:37
And that could only be our siblings.
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a koja su mogli biti
samo naša braća i sestre.
samo naša braća i sestre.
07:40
Humans are no different from animals.
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Ljudi nisu drugačiji od životinja.
07:44
After we are born, we do whatever we can
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Nakon što se rodimo, radimo sve što možemo
07:49
to attract the attention of our parents,
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kako bismo privukli
pažnju naših roditelja,
pažnju naših roditelja,
07:51
determining what our strongest
selling points are
selling points are
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utvrđujući koje naše odlike
bi se najbolje prodale
bi se najbolje prodale
07:54
and marketing them ferociously.
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i svesno ih reklamirajući.
07:56
Someone's the funny one,
someone's the pretty one,
someone's the pretty one,
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Neko je smešan, neko je lep,
07:59
someone's the athlete,
someone's the smart one.
someone's the smart one.
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neko je sportski tip, neko je pametan.
08:04
Scientists call this "deidentification."
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Naučnici ovo zovu „deidentifikacijom.“
08:07
If my older brother
is a high-school football player --
is a high-school football player --
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Da je moj stariji brat igrao
fudbal u srednjoj školi -
fudbal u srednjoj školi -
08:10
which, if you saw my older
brother, you'd know he was not --
brother, you'd know he was not --
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2911
što biste, da ste ga videli,
znali da nije -
znali da nije -
08:13
I could become a high-school
football player, too
football player, too
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mogao sam i ja da počnem
da igram fudbal u srednjoj,
da igram fudbal u srednjoj,
08:15
and get at most 50 percent of the applause
in my family for doing that.
in my family for doing that.
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i za to bih dobio upola manje
priznanja u porodici.
priznanja u porodici.
08:21
Or, I could become student
council president
council president
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Ili bih mogao da postanem
predsednik učeničkog saveta
predsednik učeničkog saveta
08:24
or specialize in the arts
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1971
ili da se specijalizujem za umetnost
08:26
and get 100 percent
of the attention in that area.
of the attention in that area.
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i dobijem potpuno priznanje u toj oblasti.
08:30
Sometimes parents contaminate
the identification process,
the identification process,
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Ponekad roditelji kvare
proces deidentifikacije,
proces deidentifikacije,
08:34
communicating to their kids subtly or not,
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komunicirajući sa svojom
decom manje ili više suptilno
decom manje ili više suptilno
08:37
that only certain kinds of accomplishments
will be applauded in the home.
will be applauded in the home.
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da će samo određena vrsta
dostignuća biti priznata kući.
dostignuća biti priznata kući.
08:42
Joe Kennedy was famous for this,
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Džo Kenedi je bio poznat po ovome,
08:45
making it clear to his nine children
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čineći da njegovo devetoro
dece jasno shvate
dece jasno shvate
08:47
that they were expected to compete
with one another in athletics
with one another in athletics
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da se od njih očekuje da se takmiče
u atletici jedno sa drugim
u atletici jedno sa drugim
08:50
and were expected to win,
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kao i da se očekuje da pobede,
08:52
lest they be made to eat
in the kitchen with the help,
in the kitchen with the help,
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kako ne bi morali da jedu
u kuhinji sa poslugom,
u kuhinji sa poslugom,
08:55
rather than in the dining room
with the family.
with the family.
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umesto u trpezariji sa porodicom.
08:59
It's no wonder
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Nije ni čudo
09:01
that scrawny second-born Jack Kennedy
fought so hard to compete
fought so hard to compete
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4658
da se mršavi, drugorođeni Džek Kenedi
toliko jako borio da pobedi
toliko jako borio da pobedi
09:05
with his fitter firstborn brother, Joe,
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svog sposobnijeg, provorođenog brata Džoa
09:08
often at his peril,
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često rizikujući sebe.
09:09
at one point, engaging
in a bicycle race around the house
in a bicycle race around the house
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Jednom prilikom, trkali su se
biciklima oko kuće
biciklima oko kuće
09:13
that resulted in a collision
costing John 28 stitches.
costing John 28 stitches.
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što se završilo sudarom
koji je koštao Džona 28 šavova.
koji je koštao Džona 28 šavova.
09:17
Joe walked away essentially unharmed.
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Džo je prošao nepovređeno.
09:21
Parents exacerbate this problem further
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Roditelji dalje pogoršavaju ovaj problem
09:24
when they exhibit favoritism,
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kada jasno favorizuju,
09:26
which they do overwhelmingly,
no matter how much they admit it.
no matter how much they admit it.
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4514
što rade preterano,
bez obzira koliko to ne priznaju.
bez obzira koliko to ne priznaju.
09:31
A study I cite in this TIME magazine
covering in the book "The Sibling Effect,"
covering in the book "The Sibling Effect,"
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Proučavanje koje sam citirao u ovom Tajm
magazinu, a koje sam pokrio u mojoj knjizi
magazinu, a koje sam pokrio u mojoj knjizi
09:35
found 70 percent of fathers
and 65 percent of mothers
and 65 percent of mothers
181
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je otkrilo da 70 procenata očeva
i 65 procenata majki
i 65 procenata majki
09:40
exhibit a preference
for at least one child.
for at least one child.
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3179
jasno pokazuje da više voli jedno od dece.
09:43
And keep in mind here --
the keyword is "exhibit."
the keyword is "exhibit."
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I imajte u vidu -
ključna reč ovde je "pokazuje".
ključna reč ovde je "pokazuje".
09:47
The remaining parents may simply be doing
a better job of concealing things.
a better job of concealing things.
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Ostali roditelji možda jednostavno
bolje prikrivaju stvari.
bolje prikrivaju stvari.
09:52
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
09:54
I like to say that 95 percent
of all parents have a favorite,
of all parents have a favorite,
186
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5540
Ja više volim da kažem kako 95 odsto
svih roditelja imaju miljenika,
svih roditelja imaju miljenika,
09:59
five percent are lying about it.
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5 posto laže o tome.
10:02
The exception is my wife and me.
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Izuzetak smo moja supruga i ja.
10:04
Honestly, we do not have a favorite.
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2671
Zaista. Mi nemamo miljenika.
10:06
(Laughter)
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2081
(Smeh)
10:08
It's not parents' fault that they harbor
feelings of favoritism.
feelings of favoritism.
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3580
Nije greška roditelja
da gaje ovakva osećanja.
da gaje ovakva osećanja.
10:12
And here, too, our natural
wiring is at work.
wiring is at work.
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Ovo je nama takođe prirodno usađeno.
10:16
Firstborns are the first products
on the familial assembly line.
on the familial assembly line.
193
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4627
Prvorođenci su prvi proizvod
porodičnog niza.
porodičnog niza.
10:20
Parents typically get two years
of investing dollars, calories
of investing dollars, calories
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4949
Roditelji najčešće prođu bar
dve godine investiranja para, kalorija
dve godine investiranja para, kalorija
10:25
and so many other resources in them,
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2330
i svih drugih resursa u njih,
10:28
so that by the time
the second born comes along,
the second born comes along,
196
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3068
stoga kada se rodi drugo dete,
10:31
the firstborn is already ...
it's what corporations call "sunk costs,"
it's what corporations call "sunk costs,"
197
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4273
prvorođenče je već... to je ono što
korporacije nazivaju „potrošna roba”,
korporacije nazivaju „potrošna roba”,
10:35
you don't want to disinvest in this one
198
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2401
pa ne želite toliko da ulažete u ovo drugo
10:37
and launch the R&D on the new product.
199
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2022
te eksperimentišete
sa ovim novim proizvodom.
sa ovim novim proizvodom.
10:39
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
10:41
So what we begin to do is say,
"I'm going to lean to the Mac OS X
"I'm going to lean to the Mac OS X
201
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Ono što mi počnemo da razmišljamo je:
„Oslonićemo se na Mekov OS X i pustićemo
„Oslonićemo se na Mekov OS X i pustićemo
10:46
and let the Mac OS XI come out
in a couple of years."
in a couple of years."
202
635141
2867
da se Mekov operativni
sistem XI razvije za par godina.”
sistem XI razvije za par godina.”
10:49
So we tend to lean in that direction.
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1862
Mi naginjemo ka tom smeru.
10:50
(Laughter)
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639918
1132
(Smeh)
10:52
But there are other forces at work, too.
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2385
Ali tu su takođe i drugi uticaji.
10:54
One of the same studies I looked at
both here and in the book found that,
both here and in the book found that,
206
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5239
Jedan od slučajeva koje sam proučavao
i ovde i u knjizi je zaključio
i ovde i u knjizi je zaključio
10:59
improbably, the most common favorite
for a father is the last-born daughter.
for a father is the last-born daughter.
207
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6876
nepogrešivo, da je najčešći miljenik
oca njegova najmlađa ćerka.
oca njegova najmlađa ćerka.
11:06
The most common favorite
for a mother is the firstborn son.
for a mother is the firstborn son.
208
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3870
Najčešći miljenik majke
je njen prvorođeni sin.
je njen prvorođeni sin.
11:10
Now, this isn't Oedipal; never mind
what the Freudians would have told us
what the Freudians would have told us
209
659540
3602
Ovo nije Edipov kompleks,
bez obzira šta bi nam frojdovci rekli
bez obzira šta bi nam frojdovci rekli
11:14
a hundred years ago.
210
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1159
pre sto godina.
11:15
And it's not just that fathers
are habitually wrapped around
are habitually wrapped around
211
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2876
I nije da se očevi prirodno vrte
11:18
the fingers of their little girls,
212
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1649
oko malih prstiju svojih devojčica
11:19
though I can tell you that,
as the father of two girls,
as the father of two girls,
213
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2659
iako vam mogu reći da, kao otac dve ćerke,
11:22
that part definitely plays a role.
214
671605
1975
taj deo definitivno radi svoje.
11:25
Rather, there is a certain
reproductive narcissism at work.
reproductive narcissism at work.
215
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4011
Radije bi rekli da je prisutno postojanje
određenog reproduktivnog narcizma.
određenog reproduktivnog narcizma.
11:29
Your opposite-gender kids
216
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4812
Vaša deca koja nisu istog pola kao i vi
11:34
can never resemble you exactly.
217
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3713
nikada neće moći u potpunosti
da liče na vas.
da liče na vas.
11:38
But if somehow they can resemble
you temperamentally,
you temperamentally,
218
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3384
Međutim, ukoliko imate slične temperamente
11:41
you'll love them all the more.
219
690751
1712
više ćete ih voleti.
11:43
As the result, the father
who is a businessman will just melt
who is a businessman will just melt
220
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5023
Kao posledicu, otac preduzetnik
će se istopiti pri pomisli
će se istopiti pri pomisli
11:48
at the idea of his MBA daughter
with a tough-as-nails worldview.
with a tough-as-nails worldview.
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5633
na njegovu ćerku sa masterom iz poslovnih
nauka koja ima čvrst pogled na svet.
nauka koja ima čvrst pogled na svet.
11:54
The mother who is a sensitive type
will go gooey over her son the poet.
will go gooey over her son the poet.
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Majka koja je osetljivija će se
raspekmeziti zbog svog sina pesnika.
raspekmeziti zbog svog sina pesnika.
11:58
(Laughter)
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1894
(Smeh)
12:00
Birth order, another topic
I covered for TIME,
I covered for TIME,
224
709250
3361
Red rođenja, druga tema
koju sam pokrio u časopisu Tajm
koju sam pokrio u časopisu Tajm
12:03
and another topic I cover in the book,
225
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3775
kao i jedna od tema
koju sam pokrio u knjizi,
koju sam pokrio u knjizi,
12:07
plays out in other ways as well.
226
716434
2003
se ispoljava i na druge načine.
12:09
Long before scientists
began looking at this,
began looking at this,
227
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3179
Mnogo pre nego što su naučnici
počeli da obraćaju pažnju na ovo,
počeli da obraćaju pažnju na ovo,
12:12
parents noticed that there are
certain temperamental templates
certain temperamental templates
228
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3450
roditelji su primetili da postoji
određeni šablon naravi
određeni šablon naravi
12:16
associated with all birth rankings:
229
725138
2199
koji se vezuje za decu
rođenu određenim redom:
rođenu određenim redom:
12:18
the serious, striving firstborn;
230
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2917
ozbiljni, ustremljeni prvorođenci;
12:21
the caught-in-a-thicket's middle born;
231
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2357
zaglavljeni-u-sredini ili srednja deca;
12:23
the wild child of a last born.
232
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2602
i divlje dete kao najmlađi.
I ovaj put, kada je nauka
proučila ovo polje,
proučila ovo polje,
12:26
And once again, when science
did crack this field,
did crack this field,
233
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2621
12:28
they found out mom and dad are right.
234
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2344
otkrili su da su mame i tate u pravu.
12:31
Firstborns across history have tended
to be bigger and healthier
to be bigger and healthier
235
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4399
Prvorođenci su tokom istorije
nastojali da budu veći i zdraviji
nastojali da budu veći i zdraviji
12:35
than later borns,
236
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1270
od onih kasnije rođenih,
12:37
in part, because of the head start
they got on food
they got on food
237
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2506
delimično zato što su imali
prednost nad hranom
prednost nad hranom
12:39
in an area in which it could be scarce.
238
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2425
tamo gde bi postojala nestašica hrane.
12:42
Firstborns are also
vaccinated more reliably
vaccinated more reliably
239
751018
3555
Prvorođenci su takođe uredno vakcinisani
12:45
and tend to have more
follow-up visits to doctors
follow-up visits to doctors
240
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3495
i češće odlaze kod lekara
12:49
when they get sick.
241
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1272
kada se razbole.
12:50
And this pattern continues today.
242
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2127
Ovaj šablon se nastavlja i danas.
12:52
This IQ question is, sadly -- I can
say this as a second-born --
say this as a second-born --
243
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4004
Pitanje nivoa inteligencije je, nažalost -
i ovo kažem kao drugorođeni -
i ovo kažem kao drugorođeni -
12:56
a very real thing.
244
765591
1689
istina.
12:58
Firstborns have a three-point
IQ advantage over second borns
IQ advantage over second borns
245
767304
3749
Prvorođeni imaju inteligenciju veću
za 3 boda u odnosu na drugorođene
za 3 boda u odnosu na drugorođene
13:02
and second borns have a 1.5 IQ
advantage over later borns,
advantage over later borns,
246
771077
3929
dok drugorođeni imaju inteligenciju veću
za bod i po u odnosu na one kasnije rođene
za bod i po u odnosu na one kasnije rođene
13:06
partly because of the exclusive attention
firstborns get from mom and dad,
firstborns get from mom and dad,
247
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4459
delimično zbog sve te pažnje koju
prvorođeni dobijaju od mame i tate,
prvorođeni dobijaju od mame i tate,
13:10
and partly because they get a chance
to mentor the younger kids.
to mentor the younger kids.
248
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4009
a delimično zato što imaju priliku
da podučavaju mlađu decu.
da podučavaju mlađu decu.
13:15
All of this explains why firstborns
are likelier to be CEOs,
are likelier to be CEOs,
249
784202
3940
Sve ovo objašnjava zašto je verovatnije
da prvorođeni postanu direktori kompanija,
da prvorođeni postanu direktori kompanija,
13:19
they are likelier to be senators,
250
788166
1632
senatori,
13:20
they are likelier to be astronauts,
251
789822
1793
astronauti,
13:22
and they are likelier to earn more
than other kids are.
than other kids are.
252
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3037
kao i da zarađuju više od ostale dece.
13:26
Last borns come into the world
with a whole different set of challenges.
with a whole different set of challenges.
253
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4569
Najmlađa deca dolaze na svet
sa skroz drugačijim spletom poteškoća.
sa skroz drugačijim spletom poteškoća.
13:31
The smallest and weakest cubs in the den,
254
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2659
Najmanja i najslabija mladunčad u jazbini
13:34
they're at the greatest risk
of getting eaten alive,
of getting eaten alive,
255
803212
3060
imaju najveću šansu da budu živi pojedeni,
13:37
so they have to develop
what are called "low-power skills" --
what are called "low-power skills" --
256
806296
3253
stoga moraju da razviju ono što
zovemo „veštine slabijih” -
zovemo „veštine slabijih” -
13:40
the ability to charm and disarm,
257
809573
2404
sposobnost da očaraju i razoružaju,
13:43
to intuit what's going on
in someone else's head,
in someone else's head,
258
812001
2905
da predosete šta se odvija
u nečijoj glavi,
u nečijoj glavi,
13:45
the better to duck
the punch before it lands.
the punch before it lands.
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da je bolje da spreče nego da leče.
13:48
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
13:49
They're also flat-out funnier,
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Oni su takođe, bez sumnje, zabavniji
13:52
which is another thing
that comes in handy,
that comes in handy,
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što je još jedna stvar koja im koristi,
13:54
because a person who's making you laugh
is a very hard person to slug.
is a very hard person to slug.
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zato što je osobu koja vas
zasmejava mnogo teže mučiti.
zasmejava mnogo teže mučiti.
13:58
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
14:00
It's perhaps no coincidence
that over the course of history,
that over the course of history,
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Verovatno nije slučajnost
da su tokom istorije
da su tokom istorije
14:03
some of our greatest satirists --
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neki od naših najvećih satiričara -
14:05
Swift,
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Svift,
14:07
Twain,
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Tvejn,
14:09
Voltaire,
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Volter,
14:11
Colbert --
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Kolber -
14:12
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
14:14
are either the last borns
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bili ili poslednji rođeni
14:16
or among the last in very large families.
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ili jedni od poslednjih
u veoma velikim porodicama.
u veoma velikim porodicama.
14:20
Most middle borns don't get
quite as sweet a deal.
quite as sweet a deal.
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Većina srednje dece ne dobije
ni blizu tako dobre ponude.
ni blizu tako dobre ponude.
14:23
I think of us as the flyover states.
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Razmišljam o nama
kao o usputnim stanicama.
kao o usputnim stanicama.
14:25
We are --
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Mi smo -
14:27
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
14:30
we're the ones who fight harder
for recognition in the home.
for recognition in the home.
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mi smo oni koji se u kući
najviše bore za priznanja.
najviše bore za priznanja.
14:34
We're the ones who are always
raising our hands
raising our hands
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Mi smo oni koji se stalno javljaju
14:37
while someone else at the table
is getting called on.
is getting called on.
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kada se neko drugi proziva.
14:40
We're the ones who tend
to take a little longer
to take a little longer
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Mi smo oni kojima treba malo više vremena
14:42
to find their direction in life.
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da pronađu svoj put u životu.
14:45
And there can be self-esteem
issues associated with that,
issues associated with that,
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Postoje problemi sa samopouzdanjem
koji mogu biti povezani sa tim,
koji mogu biti povezani sa tim,
14:48
notwithstanding the fact
that I've been asked to do TED,
that I've been asked to do TED,
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doduše, pozvan sam da održim TED govor
14:51
so I feel much better
about these things right now.
about these things right now.
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pa se sada osećam mnogo
bolje po pitanju tih stvari.
bolje po pitanju tih stvari.
14:53
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
14:54
But the upside for middle borns
is that they also tend to develop
is that they also tend to develop
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Ali dobra stvar za srednju decu
je to što teže da razviju
je to što teže da razviju
14:59
denser and richer relationships
outside the home.
outside the home.
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jače i bogatije odnose van kuće.
15:03
But that advantage comes also
from something of a disadvantage,
from something of a disadvantage,
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Ali ta prednost takođe proizilazi
iz neke vrste nedostatka,
iz neke vrste nedostatka,
15:06
simply because their needs
weren't met as well in the home.
weren't met as well in the home.
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prosto zato što njihove potrebe
nisu potpuno ispunjene kod kuće.
nisu potpuno ispunjene kod kuće.
15:10
The feuds in the playroom
that play out over favoritism,
that play out over favoritism,
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Svađe u sobi za igranje koje su se
vodile oko toga ko je više voljen,
vodile oko toga ko je više voljen,
15:14
birth order and so many other issues
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redosleda rođenja i mnogo drugih problema
15:16
are as unrelenting as they seem.
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su nepokolebljive koliko se i čine.
15:19
In one study I cite in the book,
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U jednom proučavanju
koje sam naveo u knjizi,
koje sam naveo u knjizi,
15:21
children in the two-to-four age group
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2802
deca uzrasta između dve i četiri godine
15:24
engage in one fight every 6.3 minutes,
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bi se posvađala svakih 6,3 minuta,
15:30
or 9.5 fights an hour.
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što bi iznosilo devet i po svađa
za sat vremena.
za sat vremena.
15:33
That's not fighting --
that's performance art.
that's performance art.
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To nije svađanje - to je izvedba.
15:36
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
15:37
That's extraordinary.
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To je neverovatno.
15:39
One reason for this is that there are
a lot more people in your home
a lot more people in your home
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Jedan od razloga je da u vašoj
kući ima mnogo više ljudi
kući ima mnogo više ljudi
15:43
than you think there are,
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932873
1361
nego što mislite,
15:45
or at least a lot more relationships.
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ili makar mnogo više odnosa.
15:47
Every person in your house has
a discrete one-on-one relationship
a discrete one-on-one relationship
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Svaka osoba u vašoj kući ima
diskretan jedan-na-jedan odnos
diskretan jedan-na-jedan odnos
15:52
with every other person,
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sa svim drugim osobama,
15:53
and those pairings or dyads add up fast.
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3366
a ti parovi se brzo umnožavaju.
15:57
In a family with two parents and two kids,
there are six dyads:
there are six dyads:
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U porodici sa dva roditelja
i dvoje dece postoji šest parova:
i dvoje dece postoji šest parova:
16:02
Mom has a relationship with child A and B,
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2659
Mama ima odnos sa detetom A i detetom B.
16:05
Dad has a relationship with child A and B.
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2802
Tata ima odnos sa detetom A i detetom B.
16:08
There's the marital relationship,
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1771
Tu je i bračni odnos,
16:09
and there is the relationship
between the kids themselves.
between the kids themselves.
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3348
kao i odnos između same dece.
16:13
The formula for this
looks very chilly but it's real.
looks very chilly but it's real.
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3471
Formula za ovo deluje veoma
neprovereno, ali je stvarna.
neprovereno, ali je stvarna.
16:16
K equals the number of people
in your household,
in your household,
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K označava broj ljudi u vašem domaćinstvu,
16:21
and X equals the number of dyads.
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2859
a X označava broj parova.
16:25
In a five-person family,
there are ten discrete dyads.
there are ten discrete dyads.
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3575
U petočlanoj porodici postoji
deset diskretnih parova.
deset diskretnih parova.
16:29
The eight-person Brady Bunch --
never mind the sweetness here --
never mind the sweetness here --
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978743
3236
Osmočlana Brejdi Banč porodica -
zanemarite nostalgiju ovde -
zanemarite nostalgiju ovde -
16:33
there were 28 dyads in that family.
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982003
2751
u toj porodici je postojalo 28 parova.
16:36
The original Kennedy family with nine kids
had 55 different relationships.
had 55 different relationships.
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985319
5578
Prvobitna porodica Kenedijevih sa devetoro
dece je imala 55 različitih odnosa.
dece je imala 55 različitih odnosa.
16:41
And Bobby Kennedy, who grew up
to have 11 children of his own,
to have 11 children of his own,
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3912
A Bobi Kenedi, koji je imao 11 dece,
16:45
had a household with a whopping 91 dyads.
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994857
3636
je imao domaćinstvo
sa neverovatnim 91 parom.
sa neverovatnim 91 parom.
16:50
This overpopulation of relationships
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999133
3619
Prevelik broj odnosa
16:54
makes fights unavoidable.
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2562
čini svađe neizbežnim.
16:57
And far and away the biggest trigger
for all sibling fights is property.
for all sibling fights is property.
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1006079
5057
A najveći okidač za sve svađe između
braće i sestara je vlasništvo.
braće i sestara je vlasništvo.
17:02
Studies have found that over 95 percent
of the fights among small children
of the fights among small children
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1011617
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Istraživanja su otkrila da je više od
95 procenata svađi među malom decom
95 procenata svađi među malom decom
17:07
concern somebody touching, playing with,
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1016804
3018
bilo uzrokovano diranjem, igranjem
17:10
looking at the other person's stuff.
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2828
ili gledanjem tuđih stvari.
17:13
(Laughter)
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1003
(Smeh)
17:14
This in its own way is healthy
if it's very noisy,
if it's very noisy,
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4725
Ovo je na neki način zdravo,
čak iako je veoma glasno,
čak iako je veoma glasno,
17:19
and the reason is that small children
come into the world
come into the world
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3893
a razlog za to je što mala deca
dolaze na svet
dolaze na svet
17:23
with absolutely no control.
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1920
bez imalo kontrole.
17:25
They are utterly helpless.
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Ona su potpuno bespomoćna.
17:27
The only way they have
of projecting their very limited power
of projecting their very limited power
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4671
Jedini način na koji mogu da pokažu
svoju veoma ograničenu moć
svoju veoma ograničenu moć
17:31
is through the objects
they can call their own.
they can call their own.
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1040740
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je pomoću predmeta
koje mogu da nazovu svojim.
koje mogu da nazovu svojim.
17:34
When somebody crosses
that very erasable line,
that very erasable line,
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Kada neko pređe tu veoma krhku liniju,
17:37
they're going to go nuts,
and that's what happens.
and that's what happens.
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2784
oni polude i to je ono što se dogodi.
17:41
Another very common casus belli
among children is the idea of fairness,
among children is the idea of fairness,
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1050762
5615
Drugi veoma čest izazivač rata
među decom je ideja pravičnosti,
među decom je ideja pravičnosti,
17:47
as any parent who hears 14 times a day,
"But that's unfair!"
"But that's unfair!"
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što i svaki roditelj koji je čuo
14 puta dnevno: „Ali to nije fer!”
14 puta dnevno: „Ali to nije fer!”
17:52
can tell you.
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1061031
1514
može da vam kaže.
17:53
In a way this is good, too, though.
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2438
I ovo je takođe na neki način dobro.
17:56
Kids are born with a very innate sense
of right and wrong,
of right and wrong,
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3804
Deca su rođena sa snažno urođenim osećajem
za ono što je dobro i ono što je loše,
za ono što je dobro i ono što je loše,
17:59
of a fair deal versus an unfair one,
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1068859
2684
šta je fer, a šta nije,
18:02
and this teaches them powerful lessons.
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2255
i to ih uči veoma bitnim lekcijama.
18:04
Do you want to know how powerfully encoded
fairness is in the human genome?
fairness is in the human genome?
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5089
Želite li da znate koliko je pravičnost
duboko ugrađena u ljudski gen?
duboko ugrađena u ljudski gen?
18:09
We process that phenomenon
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2598
Taj fenomen obrađujemo
18:12
through the same lobe in our brain
that processes disgust,
that processes disgust,
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4176
pomoću istog dela našeg mozga
koji obrađuje gađenje,
koji obrađuje gađenje,
18:16
meaning we react to the idea
of somebody being cheated
of somebody being cheated
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1085781
4762
što znači da na ideju da je
neko prevaren mi reagujemo
neko prevaren mi reagujemo
18:21
the same way we react to putrefied meat.
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2923
isto kao što bismo reagovali
na pokvareno meso.
na pokvareno meso.
18:24
(Laughter)
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1093514
1173
(Smeh)
18:25
Any wonder that this fellow,
Bernie Madoff, is unpopular?
Bernie Madoff, is unpopular?
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6009
Nije ni čudo što je Berni Medof
toliko omražen.
toliko omražen.
18:33
All of these dramas played out day to day,
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3235
Sve ove drame koje se odvijaju
svakog dana,
svakog dana,
18:36
moment to moment,
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1105306
1505
svakog trenutka,
18:37
serve as a real-time,
total-immersion exercise for life.
total-immersion exercise for life.
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1106835
4667
služe kao sveokupirajuća vežba
za život smeštena u realnom vremenu.
za život smeštena u realnom vremenu.
18:43
Siblings teach each other conflict
avoidance and conflict resolution,
avoidance and conflict resolution,
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1112045
4840
Srodnici uče jedno drugo
kako da izbegnu i kako da reše konflikt,
kako da izbegnu i kako da reše konflikt,
18:47
when to stand up for themselves,
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1116909
2396
kada da se zauzmu za sebe,
18:50
when to stand down;
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1119329
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kada da se povuku.
18:51
they learn love,
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1632
Uče se ljubavi,
18:53
loyalty, honesty, sharing,
caring, compromise,
caring, compromise,
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5596
vernosti, iskrenosti, deljenju,
brižnosti, kompromisima,
brižnosti, kompromisima,
18:59
the disclosure of secrets
and much more important,
and much more important,
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1128245
3375
deljenju tajni i što je mnogo bitnije
19:02
the keeping of confidences.
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1131644
1867
čuvanju poverenja.
19:06
I listen to my young daughters --
aren’t they adorable? --
aren’t they adorable? --
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1135481
2849
Slušam moje ćerkice - zar nisu divne? -
19:09
I listen to my young daughters
talking late into the night,
talking late into the night,
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1138354
4363
slušam moje ćerkice
kako pričaju kasno u noć,
kako pričaju kasno u noć,
19:13
the same way my parents, no doubt,
listened to my brothers and me talking,
listened to my brothers and me talking,
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1142741
4071
isto kao što su i, bez sumnje,
moji roditelji slušali moju braću i mene.
moji roditelji slušali moju braću i mene.
19:17
and sometimes I intervene,
but usually I don't.
but usually I don't.
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3178
Ponekad se umešam, ali uglavnom ne.
19:21
They're part of a conversation
I am not part of,
I am not part of,
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1150747
3377
One vode razgovor u kojem
ne učestvujem ni ja
ne učestvujem ni ja
19:25
nobody else in the world is part of,
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1154148
2069
niti bilo ko drugi na svetu
19:27
and it's a conversation
that can and should go on
that can and should go on
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1156241
3592
i to je razgovor koji može
i treba da se nastavi
i treba da se nastavi
19:30
for the rest of their lives.
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1159857
1870
do kraja njihovih života.
19:32
From this will come a sense of constancy,
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2778
Iz ovoga će proizaći osećaj stalnosti,
19:35
a sense of having a permanent
traveling companion,
traveling companion,
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1164553
3102
osećaj da imaju doživotnog saputnika,
19:38
somebody with whom they road-tested life
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1167679
2673
nekoga sa kim mogu da testiraju život,
19:41
before they ever had to get out
and travel it on their own.
and travel it on their own.
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1170376
3085
pre nego što budu morale da izađu
i nastave samostalno da putuju.
i nastave samostalno da putuju.
19:45
Brothers and sisters aren't
the sine qua non of a happy life;
the sine qua non of a happy life;
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1174550
3819
Braća i sestre nisu
neophodni za srećan život.
neophodni za srećan život.
19:49
plenty of adult sibling
relationships are fatally broken
relationships are fatally broken
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1178393
3182
Veliki broj odnosa između odraslih
srodnika je potpuno uništen
srodnika je potpuno uništen
19:52
and need to be abandoned
for the sanity of everybody involved.
for the sanity of everybody involved.
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1181599
3895
i moraju da budu prekinuti
zarad zdravlja svih ostalih.
zarad zdravlja svih ostalih.
19:56
And only-children, throughout history,
have shown themselves
have shown themselves
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1185518
4344
Jedinci su tokom istorije takođe pokazali
20:00
to be creatively, brilliantly capable
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1189886
2795
da su kreativno i apsolutno sposobni
20:03
of getting their socialization
and comradeship skills
and comradeship skills
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1192705
3388
da steknu socijalne i društvene osobine
20:07
through friends, through cousins,
through classmates.
through classmates.
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1196117
3939
putem prijatelja, rođaka,
drugova iz odeljenja.
drugova iz odeljenja.
20:11
But having siblings and not
making the most of those bonds
making the most of those bonds
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4093
Međutim, imati srodnike
i ne izvući najviše iz tih veza je,
i ne izvući najviše iz tih veza je,
20:15
is, I believe, folly of the first order.
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1204197
3449
bar ja smatram, na prvom mestu glupost.
20:18
If relationships are broken
and are fixable, fix them.
and are fixable, fix them.
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1207670
4582
Ukoliko su odnosi pokvareni,
a ima prostora za popravku, popravite ih.
a ima prostora za popravku, popravite ih.
20:23
If they work, make them even better.
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1212276
2696
Ukoliko funkcionišu, još ih unapredite.
20:25
Failing to do so is a little like having
a thousand acres of fertile farmland
a thousand acres of fertile farmland
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1214996
5170
Neuspevanje u tome je kao da imate
hiljade ari plodnog zemljišta
hiljade ari plodnog zemljišta
20:31
and never planting it.
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1220190
1683
na kojem ništa niste zasadili.
20:32
Yes, you can always get your food
at the supermarket,
at the supermarket,
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1221897
4096
Da, uvek možete da kupite
hranu u prodavnici,
hranu u prodavnici,
20:37
but think what you're
allowing to lie fallow.
allowing to lie fallow.
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1226017
3243
ali razmislite šta ostavljate
da leži neuzorano.
da leži neuzorano.
20:40
Life is short, it's finite,
and it plays for keeps.
and it plays for keeps.
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1229284
5178
Život je kratak, nije večan
i ima trajne posledice.
i ima trajne posledice.
20:45
Siblings may be among the richest harvests
of the time we have here.
of the time we have here.
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1234486
5010
Srodnici su možda jedan od najbogatijih
plodova vremena koje imamo ovde.
plodova vremena koje imamo ovde.
20:50
Thank you.
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1153
Hvala.
20:51
(Applause)
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1240697
5451
(Aplauz)
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Jeffrey Kluger - Senior Editor, TIME MagazineA senior editor of science and technology reporting at TIME magazine, Jeffrey Kluger has written books on a wide range of science subjects, including the Polio vaccine, Apollo 13 and the effect of sibling relationships.
Why you should listen
Jeffrey Kluger is a senior editor at TIME magazine, where he has worked since 1996. In 1994, he co-authored Lost Moon: The Perilous Voyage of Apollo 13, which was the basis for the Tom Hanks film Apollo 13. His book about Jonas Salk and the Polio vaccine, Splendid Solution, was published in 2006. Three years later, he published Simplexity: Why Simple Things Become Complex (and Why Complex Things Can Be Made Simple). His latest book, The Sibling Effect, came out in 2011.
Jeffrey Kluger | Speaker | TED.com