TEDGlobal 2009
Alain de Botton: A kinder, gentler philosophy of success
阿兰·德波顿：温和的成功哲学
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阿兰·德波顿检视我们对成功和失败的看法，质疑它们所代表的意义。成功都是配得的吗？失败呢？听他机智地解答我们对成功的迷思，帮助我们摆脱势利，重新寻回对工作的热情。
Alain de Botton - Philosopher
Through his witty and literate books -- and his new School of Life -- Alain de Botton helps others find fulfillment in the everyday. Full bio
Through his witty and literate books -- and his new School of Life -- Alain de Botton helps others find fulfillment in the everyday. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:12
For me they normally happen, these career crises,
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我经常对事业感到恐慌，
00:15
often, actually, on a Sunday evening,
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周日下午
00:17
just as the sun is starting to set,
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晚霞洒满天空
00:19
and the gap between my hopes for myself,
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理想和现实的差距
00:22
and the reality of my life, start to diverge so painfully
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是这样残酷
00:26
that I normally end up weeping into a pillow.
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令我沮丧的只想抱头痛哭
00:29
I'm mentioning all this,
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我提出这件事是因为
00:31
I'm mentioning all this because I think this is not merely a personal problem.
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我认为不只有我这么感觉。
00:34
You may think I'm wrong in this,
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你可能不这么认为
00:36
but I think that we live in an age when our lives are regularly
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但我感觉我们活在一个充满
00:38
punctuated by career crises,
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事业恐慌的时代
00:40
by moments when what we thought we knew,
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就在我们认为我们已经理解
00:42
about our lives, about our careers,
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我们的人生和事业时
00:44
comes into contact with a threatening sort of reality.
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真实便来恐吓我们
00:48
It's perhaps easier now than ever before to make a good living.
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现在或许比以前更容易过上好生活
00:51
It's perhaps harder than ever before
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但却比以前更难保持冷静
00:54
to stay calm, to be free of career anxiety.
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或不为事业感到焦虑
00:57
I want to look now, if I may,
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今天我想要检视
00:59
at some of the reasons why
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我们对事业感到焦虑
01:01
we might be feeling anxiety about our careers.
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的一些原因
01:04
Why we might be victims of these career crises,
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为何我们会变成事业焦虑的囚徒
01:06
as we're weeping softly into our pillows.
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不时抱头痛哭
01:10
One of the reasons why we might be suffering
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折磨人的因素之一是
01:13
is that we are surrounded by snobs.
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我们身边的那些势利鬼
01:15
In a way, I've got some bad news,
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对那些来访牛津大学的外国友人
01:18
particularly to anybody who's come to Oxford from abroad.
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我有一个坏消息
01:21
There is a real problem with snobbery.
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这里的人都很势利
01:23
Because sometimes people from outside the U.K.
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有时候英国以外的人会想象
01:25
imagine that snobbery is a distinctively U.K. phenomenon
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势利是英国人特有的个性
01:27
fixated on country houses and titles.
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来自那些乡间别墅和头衔爵位
01:30
The bad news is that's not true.
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坏消息是，并不只是这样
01:32
Snobbery is a global phenomenon.
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势利是一个全球性的问题
01:34
We are a global organization. This is a global phenomenon.
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我们是个全球性的组织，这是个全球性的问题
01:36
It exists. What is a snob?
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它确实存在。势利是什么？
01:38
A snob is anybody who takes a small part of you
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势利是以一小部分的你
01:41
and uses that to come to a complete vision of who you are.
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来判别你的全部价值
01:44
That is snobbery.
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那就是势利。
01:46
The dominant kind of snobbery
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今日最主要的势利
01:48
that exists nowadays is job snobbery.
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就是对职业的势利
01:50
You encounter it within minutes at a party,
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你在派对中不用一分钟就能体会到
01:52
when you get asked that famous iconic question
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当你被问到这个21世纪初
01:55
of the early 21st century, "What do you do?"
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最有代表性的问题：你是做什么的？
01:58
And according to how you answer that question,
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你的答案将会决定对方接下来的反应
02:00
people are either incredibly delighted to see you,
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对方可能对你在场感到荣幸
02:02
or look at their watch and make their excuses.
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或是开始看表然后想个借口离开
02:04
(Laughter)
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（笑声）
02:05
Now, the opposite of a snob is your mother.
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势利鬼的相反，是你的母亲
02:08
(Laughter)
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（笑声）
02:10
Not necessarily your mother, or indeed mine,
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不一定是你我的母亲
02:13
but, as it were, the ideal mother,
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而是一个理想母亲的想象
02:15
somebody who doesn't care about your achievements.
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一个永远义无反顾的爱你，不在乎你是否功成名就的人
02:17
But unfortunately, most people are not our mothers.
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不幸地，大部分世人都不怀有这种母爱
02:19
Most people make a strict correlation between how much time,
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大部分世人决定要花费多少时间
02:22
and if you like, love -- not romantic love,
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给于多少爱，不一定是浪漫的那种爱
02:24
though that may be something --
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虽然那也包括在内
02:26
but love in general, respect,
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世人所愿意给我们的关爱、尊重
02:28
they are willing to accord us, that will be strictly defined
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取决于
02:31
by our position in the social hierarchy.
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我们的社会地位
02:33
And that's a lot of the reason why we care so much about our careers
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这就是为什么我们如此在乎事业和成就
02:36
and indeed start caring so much about material goods.
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以及看重金钱和物质的原因
02:40
You know, we're often told that we live in very materialistic times,
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我们时常被告知我们处在一个物质挂帅的时代
02:43
that we're all greedy people.
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我们都是贪婪的人
02:45
I don't think we are particularly materialistic.
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我并不认为我们特别看重物质
02:47
I think we live in a society
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而是活在一个
02:49
which has simply pegged certain emotional rewards
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物质能带来大量情感反馈
02:51
to the acquisition of material goods.
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的时代
02:54
It's not the material goods we want. It's the rewards we want.
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我们想要的不是物质，而是背后的情感反馈
02:57
And that's a new way of looking at luxury goods.
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这赋予奢侈品一个崭新的意义
02:59
The next time you see somebody driving a Ferrari
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下次你看到那些开着法拉利跑车的人
03:01
don't think, "This is somebody who is greedy."
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你不要想“这个人很贪婪”
03:03
Think, "This is somebody who is incredibly vulnerable and in need of love."
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而是“这是一个无比脆弱、急需爱的人”
03:06
In other words -- (Laughter)
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也就是说 － （笑声）
03:11
feel sympathy, rather than contempt.
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同情他们，不要鄙视他们
03:13
There are other reasons --
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还有一些其他的
03:15
(Laughter)
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（笑声）
03:16
there are other reasons why it's perhaps harder now
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还有一些其他理由，让我们比过去
03:18
to feel calm than ever before.
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更难获得平静
03:20
One of these, and it's paradoxical because it's linked to something that's rather nice,
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这有些矛盾因为拥有自己的事业
03:23
is the hope we all have for our careers.
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是一件不错的事
03:26
Never before have expectations been so high
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但同时 人们也从未对自己的短暂一生
03:28
about what human beings can achieve with their lifespan.
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有过这么高的期待
03:31
We're told, from many sources, that anyone can achieve anything.
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这个世界用许多方法告诉我们 我们无所不能
03:34
We've done away with the caste system.
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我们不再受限于阶级
03:36
We are now in a system where anyone can rise
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而是只要靠着努力
03:38
to any position they please.
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就能攀上我们想到的高度
03:40
And it's a beautiful idea.
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这是个美丽的理想
03:42
Along with that is a kind of spirit of equality. We're all basically equal.
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出于一种生而平等的精神 我们基本上是平等的
03:46
There are no strictly defined
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没有任何明显的
03:48
kind of hierarchies.
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阶级存在
03:50
There is one really big problem with this,
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这造成了一个严重的问题
03:52
and that problem is envy.
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这个问题是嫉妒
03:54
Envy, it's a real taboo to mention envy,
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嫉妒在今日是一种禁忌话题
03:57
but if there is one dominant emotion in modern society, that is envy.
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但这个社会上最普遍的感受，便是嫉妒
04:00
And it's linked to the spirit of equality. Let me explain.
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嫉妒来自生而平等的精神。这么说吧
04:04
I think it would be very unusual for anyone here, or anyone watching,
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我想在场的各位 或是观看这个影片的众位
04:07
to be envious of the Queen of England.
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很少有人会嫉妒英国女皇
04:09
Even though she is much richer than any of you are.
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虽然她比我们都更加富有
04:12
And she's got a very large house.
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住在一个巨大的房子里
04:15
The reason why we don't envy her is because she's too weird.
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我们不会嫉妒她的原因是她太怪异了
04:19
She's simply too strange.
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她太怪了
04:21
We can't relate to her. She speaks in a funny way.
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我们无法想象自己与她扯上关系，她的语调令人发噱
04:23
She comes from an odd place.
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来自一个奇怪的地方
04:25
So we can't relate to her. And when you can't relate to somebody, you don't envy them.
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我们与她毫无关联。当你认为你与这个人毫无关联时，你便不会嫉妒
04:29
The closer two people are, in age, in background,
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越是两个年龄、背景相近的人
04:32
in the process of identification, the more there is a danger of envy --
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越容易陷入嫉妒的苦海
04:35
which is incidentally why none of you should ever go to a school reunion --
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所以千万避免去参加同学会
04:38
because there is no stronger reference point
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因为没有比同学
04:41
than people one was at school with.
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更强烈的参照点了
04:43
But the problem, generally, of modern society, is that it turns the whole world
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今日社会的问题是，它把全世界变成了一个学校
04:46
into a school. Everybody is wearing jeans, everybody is the same.
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每个人都穿着牛仔裤，每个人都一样
04:48
And yet, they're not.
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但，并非如此
04:50
So there is a spirit of equality, combined with deep inequalities.
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当生而平等的概念遇上现实中悬殊的不平等
04:53
Which makes for a very -- can make for a very stressful situation.
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巨大的压力就出现了
04:56
It's probably as unlikely that you would nowadays
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今日你变得像比尔-盖茨一样
04:58
become as rich and famous as Bill Gates,
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有钱又出名的机会
05:00
as it was unlikely in the 17th century
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大概就跟你在十七世纪
05:02
that you would accede to the ranks of the French aristocracy.
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成为法国贵族一样困难
05:05
But the point is, it doesn't feel that way.
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但重点是，感觉却差别很大
05:07
It's made to feel, by magazines and other media outlets,
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今日的杂志和其它媒体让我们感觉
05:10
that if you've got energy, a few bright ideas about technology,
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只要你有冲劲、对科技有一些新颖的想法
05:13
a garage, you too could start a major thing.
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再加上一个车库，你就可以踏上比尔的道路
05:17
(Laughter)
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（笑声）
05:18
And the consequences of this problem make themselves felt in bookshops.
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我们可以从书店中感受到这些问题所造成的后果
05:21
When you go to a large bookshop and look at the self-help sections,
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当你像我一样到大型书店里的
05:24
as I sometimes do,
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自我帮助书籍类
05:26
if you analyze self-help books that are produced
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如果你分析现在出版的这些自我帮助类书籍
05:28
in the world today, there are basically two kinds.
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它们基本上分成两种
05:30
The first kind tells you, "You can do it! You can make it! Anything is possible!"
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第一种告诉你”你做得到！你能成功！没有不可能！“
05:33
And the other kind tells you how to cope
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另外一种则教导你如何处理
05:36
with what we politely call "low self-esteem,"
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我们婉转地称呼为“缺乏自信”
05:39
or impolitely call "feeling very bad about yourself."
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或是直接了当地称为“自我感觉极差”
05:41
There is a real correlationship,
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这两者中间有着绝对的关联
05:43
a real correlation between a society that tells people that they can do anything
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一个告诉人们他们无所不能的社会
05:47
and the existence of low self-esteem.
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和缺乏自信有着绝对的关联
05:49
So that's another way in which something that is quite positive
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这是另一件好事
05:51
can have a nasty kickback.
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也会带来坏影响的例子
05:53
There is another reason why we might be feeling more anxious,
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还有一些其它原因造成我们对事业
05:56
about our careers, about our status in the world today, than ever before.
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对我们在世上的地位感到前所未有的焦虑
06:00
And it is, again, linked to something nice,
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再一次地，它也和好的概念有关
06:02
and that nice thing is called meritocracy.
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这个好概念叫做“功绩主义“
06:05
Everybody, all politicians on Left and Right,
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现在，无论是左倾还是右倾的政治人物
06:07
agree that meritocracy is a great thing,
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都同意“功绩主义”是个好事
06:09
and we should all be trying to make our societies really, really meritocratic.
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我们应该尽力让我们的社会崇尚“功绩主义”
06:13
In other words, what is a meritocratic society?
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换句话说，一个崇尚“功绩主义”的社会是什么样的呢？
06:17
A meritocratic society is one in which
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一个崇尚功绩主义的社会相信
06:19
if you've got talent and energy and skill,
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如果你有才能、精力、和技术
06:21
you will get to the top. Nothing should hold you back.
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你就会飞黄腾达，没有什么能阻止你
06:23
It's a beautiful idea. The problem is
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这是个美好的想法。问题是
06:26
if you really believe in a society
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如果你打从心里相信
06:28
where those who merit to get to the top, get to the top,
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那些在社会顶层的人都是精英
06:31
you'll also, by implication, and in a far more nasty way,
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同时你也暗示着，以一种残忍的方法
06:34
believe in a society where those who deserve to get to the bottom
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相信那些在社会底层的人
06:37
also get to the bottom and stay there.
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天生就该在社会底层
06:40
In other words, your position in life comes to seem not accidental,
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换句话说，你在社会的地位不是偶然
06:43
but merited and deserved.
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而都是你配得的
06:45
And that makes failure seem much more crushing.
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这种想法让失败变得更残忍
06:48
You know, in the Middle Ages, in England,
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你知道，在中世纪的英国
06:50
when you met a very poor person,
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但你遇见一个非常穷苦的人
06:52
that person would be described as an "unfortunate" --
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你会认为他“不走运”
06:55
literally, somebody who had not been blessed by fortune, an unfortunate.
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直接地说，那些不被幸运之神眷顾的人，不幸的人
06:59
Nowadays, particularly in the United States,
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今日，尤其在美国
07:01
if you meet someone at the bottom of society,
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如果人们遇见一些社会底层的人
07:03
they may unkindly be described as a "loser."
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他们被刻薄地形容成“失败者”
07:06
There is a real difference between an unfortunate and a loser,
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“不走运”和“失败者”中间有很大的差别
07:09
and that shows 400 years of evolution in society
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这表现了四百年的社会演变
07:12
and our belief in who is responsible for our lives.
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我们对谁该为人生负责看法的改变
07:15
It's no longer the gods, it's us. We're in the driving seat.
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神不再掌握我们的命运，我们掌握自己的人生
07:18
That's exhilarating if you're doing well,
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如果你做的很好，这是件令人愉快的事
07:20
and very crushing if you're not.
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相反的情况，就很令人沮丧
07:22
It leads, in the worst cases, in the analysis of a sociologist
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社会学家 Emil Durkheim 分析发现
07:25
like Emil Durkheim, it leads to increased rates of suicide.
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这提高了自杀率
07:29
There are more suicides in developed individualistic countries
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追求个人主义的已发展国家的自杀率
07:32
than in any other part of the world.
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高过于世界上其它地方
07:34
And some of the reason for that is that people take what happens
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原因是人们把发生在自己身上的事情
07:36
to them extremely personally.
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全当作自己的责任
07:38
They own their success. But they also own their failure.
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人们拥有成功，也拥有失败
07:42
Is there any relief from some of these pressures
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有什么方法可以解决刚才提到的
07:44
that I've just been outlining?
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这些焦虑呢？
07:46
I think there is. I just want to turn to a few of them.
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是有的。我想提出几项
07:48
Let's take meritocracy.
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先说“功绩主义”
07:50
This idea that everybody deserves to get where they get to,
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也就是相信每个人的地位忠实呈现他的能力
07:53
I think it's a crazy idea, completely crazy.
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我认为这种想法太疯狂了
07:56
I will support any politician of Left and Right,
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我可以支持所有相信这个想法的
07:58
with any halfway decent meritocratic idea.
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无论是左倾还是右倾的政治家
08:00
I am a meritocrat in that sense.
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我同样相信功绩主义
08:02
But I think it's insane to believe that we will ever
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但我认为一个完全彻底以能力取决地位的社会
08:04
make a society that is genuinely meritocratic. It's an impossible dream.
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是个不可能的梦想
08:08
The idea that we will make a society
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这种我们能创造一个
08:10
where literally everybody is graded,
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每个人的能力都忠实地被分级
08:12
the good at the top, and the bad at the bottom,
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好的就到顶端，坏的就到底部
08:14
and it's exactly done as it should be, is impossible.
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而且保证过程毫无差错，这是不可能的
08:16
There are simply too many random factors:
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这世上有太多偶然的契机
08:18
accidents, accidents of birth,
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不同的机运，出身
08:20
accidents of things dropping on people's heads, illnesses, etc.
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疾病，从天而降的意外等等
08:23
We will never get to grade them,
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我们却无法将这些因素分级
08:25
never get to grade people as they should.
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无法完全忠实的将人分级
08:27
I'm drawn to a lovely quote by St. Augustine in "The City of God,"
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我很喜欢圣奥古斯丁在“上帝之城”里的一句话
08:30
where he says, "It's a sin to judge any man by his post."
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他说“以社会地位评价人是一种罪”
08:34
In modern English that would mean
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用现在的口吻说
08:36
it's a sin to come to any view of who you should talk to
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看一个人的名片来决定你是否要和他交谈
08:38
dependent on their business card.
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是罪
08:40
It's not the post that should count.
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对圣奥古斯丁来说
08:42
According to St. Augustine,
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人的价值不在他的社会地位
08:44
it's only God who can really put everybody in their place.
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只有神可以决定一个人的价值
08:46
And he's going to do that on the Day of Judgment
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他将在天使围绕、小号奏鸣
08:48
with angels and trumpets, and the skies will open.
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天空破开的世界末日给于最后审判
08:50
Insane idea, if you're a secularist person, like me.
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如果你是像我一样的世俗论者，这想法太疯狂了
08:53
But something very valuable in that idea, nevertheless.
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但这想法有它的价值
08:55
In other words, hold your horses when you're coming to judge people.
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换句话说，最好在你开口评论他人之前悬崖勒马
08:59
You don't necessarily know what someone's true value is.
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你很有可能不知道他人的真正价值
09:02
That is an unknown part of them.
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这是不可测的
09:04
And we shouldn't behave as though it is known.
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于是我们不该为人下定论
09:07
There is another source of solace and comfort for all this.
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还有另一种慰藉
09:10
When we think about failing in life, when we think about failure,
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当我们想象人生中的失败
09:13
one of the reasons why we fear failing is not just
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我们恐惧的原因并不只是
09:15
a loss of income, a loss of status.
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失去收入，失去地位
09:17
What we fear is the judgment and ridicule of others. And it exists.
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我们害怕的是他人的评论和嘲笑，它的确存在
09:21
You know, the number one organ of ridicule
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今日世界上最会嘲笑人的
09:23
nowadays, is the newspaper.
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便是报纸
09:25
And if you open the newspaper any day of the week,
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每天我们打开报纸
09:27
it's full of people who've messed up their lives.
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都能看到那些把生活搞砸的人
09:29
They've slept with the wrong person. They've taken the wrong substance.
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他们与错误对象共枕，使用错误药物
09:32
They've passed the wrong piece of legislation. Whatever it is.
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通过错误法案，种种
09:34
And then are fit for ridicule.
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让人在茶余饭后拿来挖苦的新闻
09:37
In other words, they have failed. And they are described as "losers."
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这些人失败了，我们称他们为“失败者”
09:40
Now is there any alternative to this?
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还有其它做法吗？
09:42
I think the Western tradition shows us one glorious alternative,
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西方传统给了我们一个光荣的选择
09:44
and that is tragedy.
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就是“悲剧”
09:47
Tragic art, as it developed in the theaters of ancient Greece,
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悲剧的艺术来自古希腊
09:50
in the fifth century B.C., was essentially an art form
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西元前五世纪，这是一个专属于
09:52
devoted to tracing how people fail,
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描绘人类失败过程的艺术
09:55
and also according them a level of sympathy,
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同时也加入某种程度的同情
09:59
which ordinary life would not necessarily accord them.
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在现代生活并不常给于同情时
10:03
I remember a few years ago, I was thinking about all this,
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几年前我思考着这件事
10:04
and I went to see "The Sunday Sport,"
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我去见“周日运动期刊”
10:06
a tabloid newspaper that I don't recommend you to start reading
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如果你还不认识这个小报
10:09
if you're not familiar with it already.
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我建议你也别去读
10:11
I went to talk to them
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我去找他们聊聊
10:13
about certain of the great tragedies of Western art.
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西方艺术中最伟大的几个悲剧故事
10:16
I wanted to see how they would seize the bare bones
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我想知道他们会如何露骨地以新闻的方式
10:18
of certain stories if they came in as a news item
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在周日下午的新闻台上
10:21
at the news desk on a Saturday afternoon.
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呈现这些经典悲剧故事
10:24
So I told them about Othello. They had not heard of it but were fascinated by it.
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我谈到他们从未耳闻的《奥赛罗》，他们啧啧称奇
10:26
(Laughter)
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（笑声）
10:27
And I asked them to write the headline for the story of Othello.
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我要求他们以奥赛罗的故事写一句头条
10:30
They came up with "Love-Crazed Immigrant Kills Senator's Daughter"
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他们写道“移民因爱生恨，刺杀参议员之女”
10:33
splashed across the headline.
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大头条
10:35
I gave them the plotline of Madame Bovary.
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我告诉他们《包法利夫人》的故事
10:37
Again, a book they were enchanted to discover.
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他们再一次感到惊异万分
10:39
And they wrote "Shopaholic Adulteress Swallows Arsenic After Credit Fraud."
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写道“不伦购物狂信用欺诈，出墙妇女吞砒霜”
10:44
(Laughter)
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（笑声）
10:45
And then my favorite.
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我最喜欢的是
10:47
They really do have a kind of genius all of their own, these guys.
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这些记者真的很有才
10:49
My favorite is Sophocles' Oedipus the King:
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我最喜欢的是索福克勒斯的《俄狄浦斯王》
10:51
"Sex With Mum Was Blinding"
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“与母亲的盲目性爱”
10:54
(Laughter)
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（笑声）
10:57
(Applause)
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（掌声）
10:59
In a way, if you like, at one end of the spectrum of sympathy,
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如果同理心的一个极端
11:02
you've got the tabloid newspaper.
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是这些八卦小报
11:04
At the other end of the spectrum you've got tragedy and tragic art,
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另一个极端便是悲剧和悲剧艺术
11:07
and I suppose I'm arguing that we should learn a little bit
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我想说的是或许我们该从
11:09
about what's happening in tragic art.
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悲剧艺术中学习
11:11
It would be insane to call Hamlet a loser.
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你不会说汉姆雷特是个失败者
11:14
He is not a loser, though he has lost.
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虽然他失败了，他却不是一个失败者
11:17
And I think that is the message of tragedy to us,
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我想这就是悲剧所要告诉我们的
11:19
and why it's so very, very important, I think.
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也是我认为非常重要的一点
11:22
The other thing about modern society
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现代社会让我们焦虑的
11:24
and why it causes this anxiety
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另一个缘故是
11:26
is that we have nothing at its center that is non-human.
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我们除了人类以外没有其它重心
11:29
We are the first society to be living in a world
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我们是从古至今的第一个无神社会
11:31
where we don't worship anything other than ourselves.
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除了我们自己以外，我们不膜拜任何事物
11:34
We think very highly of ourselves, and so we should.
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我们对自己评价极高，为什么不呢
11:36
We've put people on the moon. We've done all sorts of extraordinary things.
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我们把人送上月球，达成了许多不可思议的事
11:39
And so we tend to worship ourselves.
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我们习惯崇拜自己
11:41
Our heroes are human heroes.
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我们的英雄是人类
11:43
That's a very new situation.
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这是一个崭新的情况
11:45
Most other societies have had, right at their center,
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历史中大部分的社会重心
11:47
the worship of something transcendent: a god,
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都是敬拜一位人类以外的灵体，神
11:49
a spirit, a natural force, the universe,
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自然力、宇宙
11:51
whatever it is, something else that is being worshiped.
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总之是人类以外的什么
11:54
We've slightly lost the habit of doing that,
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我们逐渐失去了这种习惯
11:56
which is, I think, why we're particularly drawn to nature.
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我想这也是我们越来越被大自然吸引的原因
11:58
Not for the sake of our health, though it's often presented that way,
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虽然我们时常显示是为了健康，但我不这么认为
12:01
but because it's an escape from the human anthill.
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我认为是为了逃避人群的蚁丘
12:05
It's an escape from our own competition,
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逃避人们的疯狂竞争
12:07
and our own dramas.
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我们的戏剧化
12:09
And that's why we enjoy looking at glaciers and oceans,
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这便是为什么我们如此喜欢看海、观赏冰山
12:11
and contemplating the Earth from outside its perimeters, etc.
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从外太空观赏地球等等
12:15
We like to feel in contact with something that is non-human,
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我们希望重新和那些“非人类”的事物有所连接
12:19
and that is so deeply important to us.
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那对我们来说很重要
12:23
What I think I've been talking about really is success and failure.
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我一直在谈论成功和失败
12:26
And one of the interesting things about success
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成功的有趣之处是
12:29
is that we think we know what it means.
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我们时常以为我们知道成功是什么
12:31
If I said to you that there is somebody behind the screen
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如果我现在说，这个屏幕后面站着一个非常成功的人
12:33
who is very very successful, certain ideas would immediately come to mind.
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你心里马上就会产生一些想法
12:36
You would think that person might have made a lot of money,
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你会想，这个人可能很有钱
12:38
achieved renown in some field.
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在某些领域赫赫有名
12:41
My own theory of success -- and I'm somebody
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我对成功的理解是，首先
12:43
who is very interested in success. I really want to be successful.
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我是一个对成功非常有兴趣的人，我想要成功
12:46
I'm always thinking, "How could I be more successful?"
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我总是想着“要怎样我才能更成功？”
12:48
But as I get older, I'm also very nuanced
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但当我渐渐长大，我越来越疑惑
12:50
about what that word "success" might mean.
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究竟什么是“成功”的真正意义
12:52
Here's an insight that I've had about success.
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我对成功有一些观察
12:54
You can't be successful at everything.
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你不可能在所有事情上成功
12:57
We hear a lot of talk about work-life balance.
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我们常听到有关工作和休闲的平衡
12:59
Nonsense. You can't have it all. You can't.
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鬼话。你不可能全部拥有。你就是不能。
13:02
So any vision of success
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所有对成功的想象
13:04
has to admit what it's losing out on,
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必须承认他们同时也失去了一些东西
13:06
where the element of loss is.
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放弃了一些东西
13:08
I think any wise life will accept,
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我想一个智者能接受
13:11
as I say, that there is going to be an element where we are not succeeding.
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如我所说，总是有什么是我们得不到的
13:14
Thing about a successful life
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常常，我们对一个成功
13:16
is, a lot of the time, our ideas
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人生的想象
13:18
of what it would mean to live successfully are not our own.
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不是来自我们自己
13:21
They are sucked in from other people:
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而是来自他人
13:23
chiefly, if you're a man, your father,
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如果你是个男人，你会以父亲做榜样
13:25
and if you're a woman, your mother.
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如果你是个女人，你会以母亲做榜样
13:27
Psychoanalysis has been drumming home this message for about 80 years.
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精神分析已经重复说了80年
13:30
No one is quite listening hard enough, but I very much believe that that's true.
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但很少有人真正听进去。但我的确相信这件事
13:33
And we also suck in messages
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我们也会从电视、广告
13:35
from everything from the television, to advertising,
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各样的市场宣传中
13:37
to marketing, etc.
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得到我们对成功的想象
13:39
These are hugely powerful forces
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这些东西影响了我们
13:41
that define what we want and how we view ourselves.
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对我们自己的看法、我们想要什么
13:45
When we're told that banking is a very respectable profession
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当我们听说银行业是个受人尊敬的行业
13:48
a lot of us want to go into banking.
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许多人便加入银行业
13:50
When banking is no longer so respectable, we lose interest in banking.
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当银行业不再受人尊敬，我们便对银行业失去兴趣
13:53
We are highly open to suggestion.
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我们很能接受建议
13:56
So what I want to argue for is not that we should give up
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我想说的是，我们不该放弃
13:59
on our ideas of success,
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我们对成功的想象
14:01
but we should make sure that they are our own.
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但必须确定那些都是我们自己想要的
14:03
We should focus in on our ideas
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我们应该专注于我们自己的目标
14:05
and make sure that we own them,
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确定这目标是我们真正想要的
14:08
that we are truly the authors of our own ambitions.
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确定这个梦想蓝图出自自己笔下
14:10
Because it's bad enough, not getting what you want,
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因为得不到自己想要的已经够糟糕了
14:12
but it's even worse to have an idea
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更糟糕的是，在人生旅程的终点
14:15
of what it is you want and find out at the end of a journey,
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发觉你所追求的
14:18
that it isn't, in fact, what you wanted all along.
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从来就不是你真正想要的。
14:21
So I'm going to end it there.
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我必须在这里做个总结
14:23
But what I really want to stress is
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但我真正想说的是
14:26
by all means, success, yes.
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成功是必要的
14:28
But let's accept the strangeness of some of our ideas.
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但请接受自己怪异的想法
14:30
Let's probe away at our notions of success.
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朝着自己对成功的定义出发
14:33
Let's make sure our ideas of success are truly our own.
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确定我们对成功的定义都是出于自己的真心
14:37
Thank you very much.
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非常谢谢各位
14:39
(Applause)
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（鼓掌）
14:55
Chris Anderson: That was fascinating. How do you reconcile
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Chris Anderson: 说的真好。你要如何
14:57
this idea of someone being --
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与自己和解
15:02
it being bad to think of someone as a loser
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把一个人称为失败者是糟糕的
15:05
with the idea, that a lot of people like, of seizing control of your life.
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但许多人都想掌握自己的生活
15:09
And that a society that encourages that
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一个追求这些的社会
15:12
perhaps has to have some winners and losers.
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难免要有赢家和输家。
15:15
Alain de Botton: Yes. I think it's merely the randomness
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阿兰·德波顿: 是的，我只是想提出在
15:18
of the winning and losing process that I wanted to stress.
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输赢的过程中，有太多偶然
15:20
Because the emphasis nowadays is so much
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今日我们太讲求
15:22
on the justice of everything,
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所有事情的正义和公平
15:24
and politicians always talk about justice.
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政治人物总是在谈论正义
15:26
Now I am a firm believer in justice, I just think that it is impossible.
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我非常支持正义，我只是觉得那不可能
15:29
So we should do everything we can,
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我们应该尽力
15:31
we should do everything we can to pursue it.
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尽力去追求正义
15:33
But at the end of the day we should always remember
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但我们也应该记得
15:35
that whoever is facing us, whatever has happened in their lives,
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我们所面对的，无论在他们人生中发生过什么
15:38
there will be a strong element of the haphazard.
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偶然总是一个强烈的因素
15:41
And it's that that I'm trying to leave room for.
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我希望大家留一点空间这么想
15:43
Because otherwise it can get quite claustrophobic.
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不然真令人有一种幽闭恐怖症的感觉
15:45
CA: I mean, do you believe that you can combine
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Chris Anderson: 我是说，你是否相信
15:47
your kind of kinder, gentler philosophy of work
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在这种温和的哲学下
15:49
with a successful economy?
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可以产生一个发达的经济？
15:53
Or do you think that you can't?
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还是你认为那不可行？
15:55
But it doesn't matter that much that we're putting too much emphasis on that?
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还是我们这样反复提醒人们也不甚重要？
15:57
AB: The nightmare thought
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阿兰·德波顿: 梦魇是相信
16:00
is that frightening people is the best way to get work out of them,
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恐吓人们是刺激他们发奋的最好办法
16:04
and that somehow the crueler the environment
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或是环境越残酷
16:07
the more people will rise to the challenge.
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就会有越多人接受挑战
16:09
You want to think, who would you like as your ideal dad?
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你必须想，你的理想父亲是怎样的？
16:13
And your ideal dad is somebody who is tough but gentle.
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你的理想父亲往往是严厉又温和的
16:16
And it's a very hard line to make.
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虽然这界限很难画定
16:18
We need fathers, as it were, the exemplary father figures in society,
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我们社会需要的模范性人物，是像一个理想父亲
16:22
avoiding the two extremes,
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不要走极端
16:24
which is the authoritarian, disciplinarian, on the one hand,
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不要完全集权、纯粹纪律
16:28
and on the other, the lax, no rules option.
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也不要模糊马虎，乱无规章
16:32
CA: Alain de Botton.
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Chris Anderson: 阿兰·德波顿。
16:34
AB: Thank you very much.
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阿兰·德波顿：谢谢各位。
16:36
(Applause)
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（鼓掌）
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Alain de Botton - PhilosopherThrough his witty and literate books -- and his new School of Life -- Alain de Botton helps others find fulfillment in the everyday.
Why you should listen
It started in 1997, when Alain de Botton turned away from writing novels and instead wrote a touching extended essay titled How Proust Can Change Your Life, which became an unlikely blockbuster in the "self-help"category. His subsequent books take on some of the fundamental worries of modern life (am I happy? where exactly do I stand?), informed by his deep reading in philosophy and by a novelist's eye for small, perfect moments. His newest book is The Pleasures and Sorrows of Work.
In 2008, de Botton helped start the School of Life in London, a social enterprise determined to make learning and therapy relevant in today's uptight culture. His goal is (through any of his mediums) to help clients learn "how to live wisely and well."
Alain de Botton | Speaker | TED.com