ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Faith Jegede Cole - Writer
Writer Faith Jegede Cole draws on her experiences growing up with two autistic brothers in order to spread awareness and understanding about this increasingly common diagnosis.

Why you should listen

Faith Jegede Cole is a British writer, speaker and researcher. She is passionate about the power of storytelling and its ability to shift mindsets. Her TED Talk titled "What I’ve learned from my autistic brothers" has been viewed over a million times and has warmed the hearts of families impacted by autism.

Faith is currently pursuing her PhD in Communication at American University. She has spent the last three years studying identity, reputation and privacy in the world of online communication. Her research specifically explores the tensions between online visibility and online vulnerability that are experienced when seeking to create positive changes in society.

Prior to her PhD, Faith worked within the radio broadcasting industry for seven years. Before moving to America she hosted and produced her own lifestyle show on a national UK station.

Faith is a proud Londoner, but now lives in Washington DC, with her husband Nathaniel Cole and happily calls it home.

More profile about the speaker
Faith Jegede Cole | Speaker | TED.com
TED@London

Faith Jegede Cole: What I've learned from my autistic brothers

Filmed:
1,325,374 views

Faith Jegede tells the moving and funny story of growing up with her two brothers, both autistic -- and both extraordinary. In this talk from the TED Talent Search, she reminds us to pursue a life beyond what is normal.
- Writer
Writer Faith Jegede Cole draws on her experiences growing up with two autistic brothers in order to spread awareness and understanding about this increasingly common diagnosis. Full bio

Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.

00:16
Today I have just one request.
0
988
2995
00:19
Please don't tell me I'm normal.
1
3983
3390
00:23
Now I'd like to introduce you to my brothers.
2
7373
4376
00:27
Remi is 22,
3
11749
2266
00:29
tall and very handsome.
4
14015
2964
00:32
He's speechless, but he communicates joy
5
16979
3928
00:36
in a way that some of the best orators cannot.
6
20907
4283
00:41
Remi knows what love is.
7
25190
2643
00:43
He shares it unconditionally and he shares it regardless.
8
27833
4382
00:48
He's not greedy. He doesn't see skin color.
9
32215
3520
00:51
He doesn't care about religious differences, and get this:
10
35735
3321
00:54
He has never told a lie.
11
39056
3255
00:58
When he sings songs from our childhood,
12
42311
2481
01:00
attempting words that not even I could remember,
13
44792
2863
01:03
he reminds me of one thing:
14
47655
2224
01:05
how little we know about the mind, and how wonderful
15
49879
2553
01:08
the unknown must be.
16
52432
3575
01:11
Samuel is 16. He's tall. He's very handsome.
17
56007
5737
01:17
He has the most impeccable memory.
18
61744
3784
01:21
He has a selective one, though.
19
65528
2548
01:23
He doesn't remember if he stole my chocolate bar,
20
68076
3768
01:27
but he remembers the year of release for every song on my iPod,
21
71844
3290
01:31
conversations we had when he was four,
22
75134
2399
01:33
weeing on my arm on the first ever episode of Teletubbies,
23
77533
3471
01:36
and Lady Gaga's birthday.
24
81004
3408
01:40
Don't they sound incredible?
25
84412
2737
01:43
But most people don't agree.
26
87149
3024
01:46
And in fact, because their minds don't fit
27
90173
2736
01:48
into society's version of normal,
28
92909
2736
01:51
they're often bypassed and misunderstood.
29
95645
2938
01:54
But what lifted my heart and strengthened my soul
30
98583
3766
01:58
was that even though this was the case,
31
102349
2320
02:00
although they were not seen as ordinary,
32
104669
2914
02:03
this could only mean one thing:
33
107583
2512
02:05
that they were extraordinary --
34
110095
3375
02:09
autistic and extraordinary.
35
113470
4223
02:13
Now, for you who may be less familiar with the term "autism,"
36
117693
4451
02:18
it's a complex brain disorder that affects social communication,
37
122144
3902
02:21
learning and sometimes physical skills.
38
126046
3688
02:25
It manifests in each individual differently,
39
129734
2815
02:28
hence why Remi is so different from Sam.
40
132549
2681
02:31
And across the world, every 20 minutes, one new person
41
135230
2634
02:33
is diagnosed with autism, and although it's one of
42
137864
2870
02:36
the fastest-growing developmental disorders in the world,
43
140734
3143
02:39
there is no known cause or cure.
44
143877
3176
02:42
And I cannot remember the first moment I encountered autism,
45
147053
3265
02:46
but I cannot recall a day without it.
46
150318
3079
02:49
I was just three years old when my brother came along,
47
153397
2385
02:51
and I was so excited that
48
155782
2264
02:53
I had a new being in my life.
49
158046
3103
02:57
And after a few months went by,
50
161149
2729
02:59
I realized that he was different.
51
163878
2385
03:02
He screamed a lot.
52
166263
2206
03:04
He didn't want to play like the other babies did,
53
168469
3087
03:07
and in fact, he didn't seem
54
171556
1946
03:09
very interested in me whatsoever.
55
173502
2885
03:12
Remi lived and reigned in his own world, with his own rules,
56
176387
3980
03:16
and he found pleasure in the smallest things,
57
180367
2206
03:18
like lining up cars around the room
58
182573
2523
03:20
and staring at the washing machine
59
185096
1677
03:22
and eating anything that came in between.
60
186773
3382
03:26
And as he grew older, he grew more different,
61
190155
3745
03:29
and the differences became more obvious.
62
193900
2683
03:32
Yet beyond the tantrums and the frustration
63
196583
3452
03:35
and the never-ending hyperactivity
64
200035
2769
03:38
was something really unique:
65
202804
2592
03:41
a pure and innocent nature, a boy who saw the world
66
205396
3968
03:45
without prejudice, a human who had never lied.
67
209364
5631
03:50
Extraordinary.
68
214995
3081
03:53
Now, I cannot deny that there have been
69
218076
1787
03:55
some challenging moments in my family,
70
219863
2732
03:58
moments where I've wished that they were just like me.
71
222595
3113
04:01
But I cast my mind back to the things that they've taught me
72
225708
2784
04:04
about individuality and communication and love,
73
228492
3840
04:08
and I realize that these are things that
74
232332
3337
04:11
I wouldn't want to change with normality.
75
235669
4398
04:15
Normality overlooks the beauty that differences give us,
76
240067
5153
04:21
and the fact that we are different doesn't mean that one of us is wrong.
77
245220
3329
04:24
It just means that there's a different kind of right.
78
248549
3838
04:28
And if I could communicate just one thing to Remi
79
252387
3817
04:32
and to Sam
80
256204
2326
04:34
and to you,
81
258530
1727
04:36
it would be that you don't have to be normal.
82
260257
3796
04:39
You can be extraordinary.
83
264053
3983
04:43
Because autistic or not,
84
268036
2081
04:46
the differences that we have --
85
270117
2210
04:48
We've got a gift! Everyone's got a gift inside of us,
86
272327
4368
04:52
and in all honesty, the pursuit of normality
87
276695
3464
04:56
is the ultimate sacrifice of potential.
88
280159
2997
04:59
The chance for greatness, for progress and for change
89
283156
4340
05:03
dies the moment we try to be like someone else.
90
287496
3879
05:07
Please -- don't tell me I'm normal.
91
291375
3232
05:10
Thank you. (Applause)
92
294607
2473
05:12
(Applause)
93
297080
2713
Translated by Joseph Geni
Reviewed by Morton Bast

▲Back to top

ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Faith Jegede Cole - Writer
Writer Faith Jegede Cole draws on her experiences growing up with two autistic brothers in order to spread awareness and understanding about this increasingly common diagnosis.

Why you should listen

Faith Jegede Cole is a British writer, speaker and researcher. She is passionate about the power of storytelling and its ability to shift mindsets. Her TED Talk titled "What I’ve learned from my autistic brothers" has been viewed over a million times and has warmed the hearts of families impacted by autism.

Faith is currently pursuing her PhD in Communication at American University. She has spent the last three years studying identity, reputation and privacy in the world of online communication. Her research specifically explores the tensions between online visibility and online vulnerability that are experienced when seeking to create positive changes in society.

Prior to her PhD, Faith worked within the radio broadcasting industry for seven years. Before moving to America she hosted and produced her own lifestyle show on a national UK station.

Faith is a proud Londoner, but now lives in Washington DC, with her husband Nathaniel Cole and happily calls it home.

More profile about the speaker
Faith Jegede Cole | Speaker | TED.com