Caitlin Quattromani and Lauran Arledge: How our friendship survives our opposing politics
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
of 2016 felt different.
with our family and friends
previously experienced.
were reasonable and intelligent
"How could you think that?
in the summer of 2011,
our very energetic boys busy.
we had almost everything in common.
to our love of sushi,
a deep love of this country
to be politically active.
two disappointing things about Caitlin.
any joint camping trips in our future.
she's politically active all right --
but I love politics.
just about every day,
conservative political campaigns.
and on a congressional campaign.
were getting to know each other,
of that 2012 presidential campaign,
political conversations
in jokes and pranks.
Lauran's computer screen saver
campaign magnet on the back of my car.
those conversations grew more serious
a core of our friendship.
any topic be off limits for discussion,
outside of our friendship comfort zone.
are a zero-sum game.
a weakness in someone's argument.
or opinion that's expressed
to our own values and beliefs.
we think about these conversations?
we flip the script.
from a place of judgment,
in the other person's experiences,
of true dialogue is hard,
about politics.
get in the way of truly hearing
we're in right now,
an extreme result
to walk away from their relationships.
a poll earlier this year
reported that the 2016 election
a personal relationship,
Neuroscience tells us
their way to their beliefs
to talk about these issues.
two regular friends
that government should play in our lives.
not to talk about politics
and it's a part of who we are.
to avoid political debate
and all of the craziness that has followed
to practice this skill.
and the Women's March.
which one of us participated.
that entire day,
didn't represent me,
as this demonstration of sisterhood
was the timing of the event,
after the presidential inauguration.
giving the new administration
to demonstrate against it.
I would agree with Caitlin.
does deserve the benefit of the doubt.
to show my concern
with women and other groups
to the new president
during the election.
kind of aggravated,
pop up in my social media feed.
and holding signs
and not in a good way,
why Lauran would choose
that the boys made for themselves.
your boys in any way,
not to say anything to her,
in my frustration,
about her motivations.
talking about the March
as to why the event was being organized,
very interesting family conversations.
we have the right and the privilege
something we don't agree with,
why he thought it was so important
we marched as a family
my parents' legacy.
of some of our most vulnerable citizens,
down to me and my brother,
why she felt it was so important to march,
the issues as a family.
about this example
in an undercurrent of disrespect
it allowed us to use dialogue
my mind about how I felt about the March,
around why she brought her boys with her.
that dialogue allowed us to understand
about the Women's March
our ability to engage in dialogue
from talking about women
during the campaign.
these two things in my mind.
the things that were said?
the only one here that thought
for the presidential election last year.
didn't make it out of the primary,
I had a decision to make.
there were some terrible things
to just abstain
even considered doing before.
I did vote for Donald Trump,
for party over person,
how important that presidential pick is
it was a decision I really wrestled with,
I was struck by a few things.
to my own confirmation bias.
the same attributes,
I started to ask questions.
really concerned about?
what was really going on?
about ourselves and our country
a deep disappointment in this election,
about our two-party political system.
about this conversation
between the two of us,
the elephant in the room
to get past the difficult,
like the Women's March
for a candidate that you can't stand.
be focused on right now,
that we care about the most.
that we need to bottle this behavior.
for our children as well.
to the news in the morning,
with their friends at school.
so much polarizing misinformation,
of a Trump presidency.
I was taking my sons to school,
completely out of the blue,
who voted for Trump, right?"
look on his face, and he said ...
"Why would they vote for him?"
how I answered this question.
our own family values
for this country."
the whole sentence out,
he was going to play at recess.
through our bipartisan friendship
even when we disagree.
and our preconceived ideas,
to limitless learning.
for our relationship,
or winning a conversation about politics.
to have a conversation.
of your political party
avoid a political conversation.
was going to be our new president,
weeks or months of awkwardness
rooted in friendship.
that we would make it through this.
to engage in meaningful conversations
forward as a nation,
to elevate our national discourse.
are going to require all of us
and more meaningful way ...
ABOUT THE SPEAKERS
Caitlin Quattromani - Marketing leaderWhy you should listen
Caitlin Quattromani is a Colorado native and mom to two elementary school-age boys. She graduated from the University of Denver with an international business degree and has been fortunate to travel the world as a marketing and product leader, including living abroad with her family in Luxembourg. Her professional experience includes working for Amazon and DISH, and she currently leads multicultural marketing for Comcast's West Division office in the Denver area. Quattromani is also a co-founder of Elevate Partners, focused on bringing the power of dialogue to individuals, teams and organizations. She regularly volunteers with Hire Heroes USA, helping active duty military, veterans and their families transition into civilian employment.
Caitlin Quattromani | Speaker | TED.com
Lauran Arledge - Talent development leader
Why you should listen
Lauran Arledge started her career as high school social studies teacher in Wilmington, North Carolina. Over the past 15 years, she has worked in public health violence prevention, community organizing, coaching and organizational development. She currently holds a leadership position in talent development for a Denver-based technology company. In November 2017 she will launch Bold Font Coaching and Consulting which aims to bridge the gap between our personal and professional lives by living from a place of choice, courage, and authenticity. She is also a co-founder of Elevate Partners, focused on bringing the power of dialogue to individuals, teams and organizations.
Lauran Arledge | Speaker | TED.com