TEDMED 2014
Debra Jarvis: Yes, I survived cancer. But that doesn't define me
Debra Jarvis: Si, sobrevivín ao cancro, pero iso non me define
Filmed:
Readability: 3.3
1,110,917 views
Debra Jarvis levaba case 30 anos traballando de capelá nun hospital cando lle diagnosticaron un cancro. E como paciente aprendeu bastantes cousas. Nunha charla atrevida e mordaz explica como a identidade de "sobrevivente de cancro" pode parecer estática. Pídenos que superemos as nosas experiencias máis duras e que nos deamos espazo para crecer e evolucionar.
Debra Jarvis - Chaplain + author
Debra Jarvis isn't your typical hospital chaplain. With wry wit, she aims to comfort patients -- and also challenge them. Full bio
Debra Jarvis isn't your typical hospital chaplain. With wry wit, she aims to comfort patients -- and also challenge them. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:13
I just met you on a bus,
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Acabamos de encontrarnos no bus,
00:16
and we would really like
to get to know each other,
to get to know each other,
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gustaríanos moito coñecernos,
00:19
but I've got to get off at the next stop,
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pero eu teño que baixarme
na próxima parada,
na próxima parada,
00:21
so you're going to tell me
three things about yourself
three things about yourself
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así que vanme dicir tres cousas
sobre vostedes
sobre vostedes
00:26
that just define you as a person,
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que os definan como persoas,
00:30
three things about yourself
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tres cousas sobre vostedes
00:31
that will help me understand who you are,
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que me axuden a entender quen son,
00:35
three things that just
get to your very essence.
get to your very essence.
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tres cousas que sexan
algo esencial para vostedes.
algo esencial para vostedes.
00:39
And what I'm wondering
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E pregúntome
00:42
is, of those three things,
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destas tres cousas,
00:45
is any one of them
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algunha delas
00:47
surviving some kind of trauma?
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é sobrevivir a algún tipo de trauma?
00:52
Cancer survivor, rape survivor,
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sobrevivir a un cancro,
sobrevivir a unha violación,
sobrevivir a unha violación,
00:58
Holocaust survivor, incest survivor.
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sobrevivir a un Holocausto,
sobrevivir a un incesto.
sobrevivir a un incesto.
01:03
Ever notice how we tend to identify ourselves
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Algunha vez repararon
en como tendemos a identificarnos
en como tendemos a identificarnos
01:07
by our wounds?
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polas nosas feridas?
01:09
And where I have seen this survivor identity
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E onde vin que esta identidade
de sobrevivente
de sobrevivente
01:14
have the most consequences
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ten máis consecuencias
01:16
is in the cancer community.
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é entre os enfermos de cancro.
01:19
And I've been around this
community for a long time,
community for a long time,
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Levo moito tempo en contacto
con esta comunidade,
con esta comunidade,
01:21
because I've been a hospice
and a hospital chaplain
and a hospital chaplain
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porque fun capelá en unidades
de paliativos e hospitais
de paliativos e hospitais
01:25
for almost 30 years.
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durante case 30 anos.
01:28
And in 2005, I was working at a big cancer center
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En 2005 estaba traballando
nun gran centro oncolóxico
nun gran centro oncolóxico
01:34
when I received the news that
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cando recibín a noticia de que
01:36
my mother had breast cancer.
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a miña nai tiña cancro de mama.
01:39
And then five days later,
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E entón, cinco días despois,
01:42
I received the news that I had breast cancer.
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recibín a noticia de que
eu tiña cancro de mama.
eu tiña cancro de mama.
01:47
My mother and I can be competitive —
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A miña nai e máis eu
podemos ser competitivas...
podemos ser competitivas...
01:50
(Laughter) —
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(Risas)
01:51
but I was really not trying to
compete with her on this one.
compete with her on this one.
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pero eu non intentaba
competir con ela neste caso.
competir con ela neste caso.
01:56
And in fact, I thought, well,
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E de feito, pensei:
ben, se tes que ter cancro,
01:58
if you have to have cancer,
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02:00
it's pretty convenient to be working
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é moi práctico estar traballando
nun lugar onde o curan.
02:02
at a place that treats it.
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02:03
But this is what I heard from
a lot of outraged people.
a lot of outraged people.
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Pero isto é o que oín
a moita xente indignada:
a moita xente indignada:
02:06
What?
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"Que?
02:07
You're the chaplain.
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Ti es a capelá.
02:09
You should be immune.
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Deberías ser inmune."
02:11
Like, maybe I should have just gotten off
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Como se debese recibir
02:14
with a warning instead of an actual ticket,
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un aviso en lugar dunha multa,
02:16
because I'm on the force.
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por traballar na policía.
02:20
So I did get my treatment at the
cancer center where I worked,
cancer center where I worked,
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Así que recibín tratamento no
centro no que traballaba,
centro no que traballaba,
02:23
which was amazingly convenient,
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o cal foi moi práctico,
02:25
and I had chemotherapy
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e fixen quimioterapia
e unha mastectomía, e puxéronme
un implante de solución salina,
un implante de solución salina,
02:27
and a mastectomy, and a saline implant put in,
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02:30
and so before I say another word,
let me just say right now,
let me just say right now,
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e antes de continuar,
déixenme dicilo
déixenme dicilo
02:32
this is the fake one. (Laughter)
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esta é a falsa. (Risas)
02:37
I have found that I need to get that out of the way,
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Descubrín que preciso sacar iso de enriba,
02:40
because I'll see somebody go
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antes de ver a alguén dicindo:
02:42
"Oh, I know it's this one."
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"Oi, seguro que é esa."
02:44
And then I'll move or I'll
gesture and they'll go,
gesture and they'll go,
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E entón moveríame ou
faría un xesto e dirían,
faría un xesto e dirían,
02:47
"No, it's that one."
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"Non, é a outra."
02:49
So now you know.
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Así que agora xa o saben.
02:51
I learned a lot being a patient,
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Aprendín moito sendo paciente,
02:53
and one of the surprising things was
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e unha cousa sorprendente foi
02:55
that only a small part of the cancer experience
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que só unha pequena parte
da experiencia do cancro
da experiencia do cancro
02:59
is about medicine.
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ten que ver coa medicina.
03:01
Most of it is about feelings and faith
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A maior parte vai sobre sentimentos e fe
03:06
and losing and finding your identity
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e sobre perder e atopar a túa identidade
03:08
and discovering strength
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e descubrir a forza
03:10
and flexibility you never even knew you had.
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e a flexibilidade que
nin sabías que tiñas.
nin sabías que tiñas.
03:14
It's about realizing that
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Ten que ver con darse conta
03:16
the most important things in life are
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de que o máis importante na vida
03:19
not things at all, but relationships,
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non son as cousas, senón as relacións,
03:22
and it's about laughing in the face of uncertainty
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e ten que ver con rir na cara da incerteza
03:26
and learning that the way to
get out of almost anything
get out of almost anything
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e aprender que a forma
de liberarse de case todo
de liberarse de case todo
03:30
is to say, "I have cancer."
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é dicir, "teño cancro."
03:34
So the other thing I learned was that
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A outra cousa que aprendín foi que
03:36
I don't have to take on "cancer survivor"
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non preciso asumir
"sobrevivente de cancro"
"sobrevivente de cancro"
como a miña identidade.
03:40
as my identity,
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03:42
but, boy, are there powerful forces
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pero por Deus que hai forzas poderosas
03:46
pushing me to do just that.
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que me levan a facer exactamente iso.
03:49
Now, don't, please, misunderstand me.
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Non me interpreten mal, por favor.
03:53
Cancer organizations
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As organizacións contra o cancro
03:55
and the drive for early screening
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e as campañas para a detección precoz
03:57
and cancer awareness and cancer research
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e a concienciación e a investigación
04:00
have normalized cancer,
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normalizaron o cancro,
04:02
and this is a wonderful thing.
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e iso é estupendo.
04:03
We can now talk about cancer
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Agora podemos falar do cancro
04:05
without whispering.
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sen necesidade de baixar a voz.
04:07
We can talk about cancer and
we can support one another.
we can support one another.
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Podemos falar do cancro e
podemos apoiarnos mutuamente.
podemos apoiarnos mutuamente.
04:12
But sometimes, it feels
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Pero ás veces, parece
04:15
like people go a little overboard
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que a xente esaxera un pouco
04:16
and they start telling us how we're going to feel.
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e comeza a dicirnos como nos imos sentir.
04:21
So about a week after my surgery,
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Unha semana despois da miña cirurxía,
04:25
we had a houseguest.
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tivemos un convidado na casa.
04:28
That was probably our first mistake.
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Ese foi probablemente
o noso primeiro erro.
o noso primeiro erro.
04:31
And keep in mind that
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E teñan presente que
04:32
at this point in my life
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neste punto da miña vida
04:34
I had been a chaplain for over 20 years,
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eu fora capelá durante máis de 20 anos,
04:37
and issues like dying and death
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e temas como morrer e a morte
04:40
and the meaning of life,
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e o significado da vida,
04:41
these are all things I'd been
yakking about forever.
yakking about forever.
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eran cousas das que falaba desde sempre.
04:45
So at dinner that night,
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Aquela noite na cea,
04:47
our houseguest proceeds to
stretch his arms up over his head,
stretch his arms up over his head,
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o noso convidado estirou os brazos
por detrás da cabeza,
por detrás da cabeza,
04:50
and say, "You know, Deb,
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e dixo: "Sabes, Deb,
04:53
now you're really going to learn what's important.
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agora vas aprender realmente
o que é importante.
o que é importante.
04:57
Yes, you are going to make some big changes
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Si, vas facer grandes cambios
04:59
in your life,
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na túa vida,
05:01
and now you're going to start
thinking about your death.
thinking about your death.
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e vas comezar a pensar na túa morte.
05:04
Yep, this cancer is your wakeup call."
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Si, este cancro é
a túa chamada de atención."
a túa chamada de atención."
05:10
Now, these are golden words
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Estas son palabras valiosas
05:13
coming from someone who is speaking about
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cando proveñen de alguén que fala
05:15
their own experience,
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da súa propia experiencia,
05:17
but when someone is telling you
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pero cando alguén che está dicindo
05:20
how you are going to feel,
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como te vas sentir,
05:22
it's instant crap.
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é unha estupidez.
05:24
The only reason I did not kill him
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A única razón pola que non o matei
05:27
with my bare hands
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coas miñas propias mans
05:29
was because I could not lift my right arm.
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foi que non podía levantar
o brazo dereito.
o brazo dereito.
05:33
But I did say a really bad word to him,
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Pero díxenlle unha palabra fea,
05:37
followed by a regular word, that —
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e unha palabra normal, que...
05:40
(Laughter) —
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(Risas)
05:41
made my husband say, "She's on narcotics."
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levou ao meu marido a dicir:
"Está medicada."
"Está medicada."
05:45
(Laughter)
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(Risas)
05:47
And then after my treatment, it just felt like
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E despois do tratamento,
05:49
everyone was telling me what my
experience was going to mean.
experience was going to mean.
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era como que todos me dicían
o que ía significar esta experiencia,
o que ía significar esta experiencia,
05:53
"Oh, this means you're going to be doing the walk."
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"Isto significa que vas á andaina."
05:55
"Oh, this means you're coming to the luncheon."
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"Iso significa que vés á comida."
05:57
"This means you're going to be wearing
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"Iso significa que vas poñer o lazo rosa
05:58
the pink ribbon and the pink t-shirt
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e a camiseta rosa
06:01
and the headband and the earrings
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e a fita do pelo e os pendentes
06:03
and the bracelet and the panties."
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e a pulseira e as bragas."
06:06
Panties. No, seriously, google it.
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Bragas. Non, en serio, búsqueno en Google.
06:10
(Laughter)
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(Risas)
06:12
How is that raising awareness?
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Como axuda iso a concienciar?
06:14
Only my husband should be seeing my panties.
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Só o meu marido me debería ver as bragas.
06:16
(Laughter)
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(Risas)
06:17
He's pretty aware of cancer already.
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El xa está bastante concienciado
sobre o cancro.
sobre o cancro.
06:22
It was at that point where I felt like, oh my God,
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Foi nese punto cando pensei: "Meu Deus,
06:25
this is just taking over my life.
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isto estase apoderando da miña vida."
06:28
And that's when I told myself,
claim your experience.
claim your experience.
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E aí foi cando me dixen a min mesma:
"Supera a túa experiencia.
"Supera a túa experiencia.
06:33
Don't let it claim you.
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Non deixes que ela te supere a ti."
06:37
We all know that
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Todos sabemos que
06:39
the way to cope with trauma, with loss,
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a forma de lidar cun trauma, cunha perda,
06:43
with any life-changing experience,
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con calquera experiencia
que che cambia a vida
que che cambia a vida
06:45
is to find meaning.
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é encontrarlle sentido.
06:48
But here's the thing:
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Pero aí está a cuestión:
06:50
No one can tell us
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Ninguén nos pode dicir
06:51
what our experience means.
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o que significa a nosa experiencia.
06:54
We have to decide what it means.
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Temos que decidilo nós.
06:58
And it doesn't have to be some gigantic,
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E non ten que ser un significado
enorme e extravertido.
enorme e extravertido.
07:00
extroverted meaning.
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07:02
We don't all have to start a foundation
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Non todos temos que crear unha fundación
07:04
or an organization or write a book
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ou unha organización ou escribir un libro
07:06
or make a documentary.
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ou facer un documental.
07:09
Meaning can be quiet
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O significado pode ser discreto
07:12
and introverted.
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e introvertido.
07:14
Maybe we make one small decision about our lives
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Pode que tomemos unha pequena decisión
sobre as nosas vidas
sobre as nosas vidas
07:20
that can bring about big change.
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que provoque un cambio grande.
07:25
Many years ago, I had a patient,
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Hai moitos anos, tiven un paciente,
07:27
just a wonderful young man
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un mozo estupendo,
07:29
who was loved by the staff,
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o persoal adorábao,
07:32
and so it was something of a shock to us to realize
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e por iso nos sorprendeu tanto descubrir
07:35
that he had no friends.
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de que non tiña amigos.
07:39
He lived by himself,
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Vivía só,
07:41
he would come in for chemotherapy by himself,
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viña á quimioterapia só,
07:45
he would receive his treatment,
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recibía o seu tratamento,
07:47
and then he'd walk home alone.
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e volvía a casa só.
07:51
And I even asked him. I said, "Hey,
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Eu ata lle preguntei:
07:52
how come you never bring a friend with you?"
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"Porque nunca traes un amigo contigo?"
07:55
And he said, "I don't really have any friends."
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E el dixo: “Eu non teño amigos.”
08:00
But he had tons of friends on the infusion floor.
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Pero tiña moitos amigos
na sala de tratamento.
na sala de tratamento.
08:02
We all loved him, and people were going
in and out of his room all the time.
in and out of his room all the time.
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Todos o queriamos,
a xente entraba e saía
continuamente do seu cuarto.
continuamente do seu cuarto.
08:07
So at his last chemo,
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Na última quimio
08:10
we sang him the song
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cantámoslle unha canción,
08:11
and we put the crown on his
head and we blew the bubbles,
head and we blew the bubbles,
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puxémoslle unha coroa na cabeza
e fixemos pompas de xabón.
e fixemos pompas de xabón.
08:14
and then I asked him, I said,
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E eu pregunteille:
08:16
"So what are you going to do now?"
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“Entón, que vas facer agora?”
08:20
And he answered,
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E contestou:
08:22
"Make friends."
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“Facer amigos.”
08:24
And he did.
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E así o fixo.
08:26
He started volunteering
and he made friends there,
and he made friends there,
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Comezou a facer voluntariado
e fixo amigos alí,
e fixo amigos alí,
08:30
and he began going to a church
and he made friends there,
and he made friends there,
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e empezou a frecuentar unha igrexa
e fixo amigos alí.
e fixo amigos alí.
08:32
and at Christmas he invited my husband
and me to a party in his apartment,
and me to a party in his apartment,
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No Nadal o meu home e eu fomos
a unha festa no seu apartamento,
a unha festa no seu apartamento,
08:35
and the place was filled with his friends.
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e o lugar estaba cheo de amigos seus.
08:40
Claim your experience.
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Supera a túa experiencia.
08:43
Don't let it claim you.
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Non deixes que ela te supere a ti.
08:44
He decided that the meaning of his experience
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El decidiu que o significado
da súa experiencia
da súa experiencia
08:49
was to know the joy of friendship,
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era coñecer a alegría da amizade,
08:53
and then learn to make friends.
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e aprender a facer amigos.
08:58
So what about you?
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E vostedes?
09:01
How are you going to find meaning
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Como lle van encontrar significado
09:04
in your crappy experience?
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á súa espantosa experiencia?
09:06
It could be a recent one,
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Pode ser unha experiencia recente,
09:08
or it could be one that you've been carrying around
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ou algo co que levan cargando
moito tempo.
moito tempo.
09:10
for a really long time.
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09:14
It's never too late to change what it means,
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Nunca é demasiado tarde
para cambiar o que significa,
para cambiar o que significa,
09:19
because meaning is dynamic.
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porque o significado é algo dinámico.
09:21
What it means today
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O significado de hoxe
09:22
may not be what it means a year from now,
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pode que non sexa o mesmo
de aquí a un ano, ou a dez.
de aquí a un ano, ou a dez.
09:24
or 10 years from now.
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09:27
It's never too late to become someone other
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Nunca e é demasiado tarde
para chegar a ser algo máis
para chegar a ser algo máis
09:30
than simply a survivor.
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ca un simple sobrevivente.
09:33
Hear how static that word sounds?
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Perciben o estática que soa esta palabra?
09:37
Survivor.
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Sobrevivente.
09:39
No movement, no growth.
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Sen movemento, sen crecemento.
09:43
Claim your experience.
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Superen a súa experiencia.
09:45
Don't let it claim you, because if you do,
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Non deixen que ela os supere,
porque senón,
porque senón,
09:48
I believe you will become trapped,
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creo que acabarán atrapados,
09:51
you will not grow, you will not evolve.
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non van crecer, non van evolucionar.
09:57
But of course, sometimes it's not outside pressures
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Pero ás veces non son as presións externas
10:00
that cause us to take on that identity of survivor.
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as que nos fan asumir
esa identidade de sobrevivente.
esa identidade de sobrevivente.
10:04
Sometimes we just like the perks.
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Ás veces só queremos os beneficios.
10:08
Sometimes there's a payoff.
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Ás veces hai unha recompensa.
10:12
But then we get stuck.
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Pero entón atascámonos.
10:16
Now, one of the first things I learned
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Unha das primeiras cousas que aprendín
10:17
as a chaplain intern was the three C's
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cando fun capelá foron os tres C
10:22
of the chaplain's job:
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do traballo de capelá:
10:24
Comfort, clarify and, when necessary, confront
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Consolar, clarificar e,
se é preciso, confrontar
se é preciso, confrontar
10:31
or challenge.
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ou desafiar.
10:33
Now, we all pretty much love the comforting
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1946
A todos nos encanta consolar
10:35
and the clarifying.
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e clarificar.
10:37
The confronting, not so much.
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Confrontar non tanto.
10:42
One of the other things that I loved
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1994
Outra cousa que me encantaba
10:44
about being a chaplain was
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2458
de ser capelá era
10:46
seeing patients a year, or even several years
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ver os pacientes un ou varios anos
10:51
after their treatment, because
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despois do tratamento, porque
10:53
it was just really cool to see
how they had changed
how they had changed
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era xenial ver como cambiaran
10:55
and how their lives had evolved
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e como evolucionaran as súas vidas
10:57
and what had happened to them.
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e que lles acontecera.
10:59
So I was thrilled one day
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Un día emocioneime
11:02
to get a page down into the lobby of the clinic
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cando me chamou ao vestíbulo da clínica
11:04
from a patient who I had seen the year before,
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unha paciente que atendera o ano anterior.
11:08
and she was there with her two adult daughters,
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Estaba alí con dúas fillas adultas
11:10
who I also knew, for her one year follow-up exam.
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que eu tamén coñecía, para o exame
de seguimento do ano despois
de seguimento do ano despois
11:15
So I got down to the lobby, and they were ecstatic
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3537
Así que baixei ao vestíbulo,
e elas estaban eufóricas
e elas estaban eufóricas
11:18
because she had just gotten
all of her test results back
all of her test results back
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porque recibiran os resultados das probas
11:20
and she was NED: No Evidence of Disease.
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6188
e indicaban Sen Evidencia de Enfermidade.
11:27
Which I used to think meant Not Entirely Dead.
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4757
Como eu dicía, Non Completamente Morta.
11:31
So they were ecstatic, we sat down to visit,
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5493
Así que estaban eufóricas,
sentamos a charlar,
sentamos a charlar,
11:37
and it was so weird, because
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e foi moi raro, porque
11:40
within two minutes, she
started retelling me the story
started retelling me the story
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en 2 minutos empezoume
a contar de novo a historia
a contar de novo a historia
11:44
of her diagnosis and her
surgery and her chemo,
surgery and her chemo,
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da súa diagnose, da cirurxía e da quimio,
11:48
even though, as her chaplain,
I saw her every week,
I saw her every week,
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aínda que, ao ser a capelá,
eu a visitaba todas as semanas,
eu a visitaba todas as semanas,
11:52
and so I knew this story.
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e coñecía a historia.
11:54
And she was using words like suffering,
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3042
E usaba palabras como sufrimento,
11:57
agony, struggle.
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3995
agonía, loita.
12:01
And she ended her story with,
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2614
E rematou a historia con:
12:04
"I felt crucified."
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“Sentinme crucificada.”
12:09
And at that point, her two
daughters got up and said,
daughters got up and said,
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2664
E nese momento, as dúas fillas
levantáronse e dixeron:
levantáronse e dixeron:
12:12
"We're going to go get coffee."
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3912
“Imos por un café.”
12:15
And they left.
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3141
E marcharon.
12:19
Tell me three things about
yourself before the next stop.
yourself before the next stop.
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2835
Díganme tres cousas sobre vostedes
antes da próxima parada.
antes da próxima parada.
12:21
People were leaving the bus before she even got
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2756
A xente estaba baixando do bus
antes de que ela chegase
antes de que ela chegase
12:24
to number two or number three.
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5377
ao número dous ou ao tres.
12:30
So I handed her a tissue,
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3487
Entón deille un pano da man,
12:33
and I gave her a hug,
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3297
e unha aperta,
12:36
and then, because I really cared for this woman,
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3510
e despois, como ela
me importaba de verdade,
me importaba de verdade,
12:40
I said,
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2086
díxenlle:
12:42
"Get down off your cross."
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2306
“Baixa da túa cruz.”
12:44
And she said, "What?"
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4266
E ela dixo: “Que?”
12:49
And I repeated, "Get down off your cross."
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5414
E eu repetín: “Baixa da túa cruz.”
12:54
And to her credit, she could
talk about her reasons
talk about her reasons
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4645
Tiña ao seu favor
que podía falar das razóns
que podía falar das razóns
12:59
for embracing and then clinging to this identity.
254
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5119
para adoptar esta identidade
e agarrarse a ela.
e agarrarse a ela.
13:04
It got her a lot of attention.
255
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2022
Prestábanlle moita atención.
13:06
People were taking care of her for a change.
256
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3105
Os demais coidaban dela, para variar.
13:09
But now, it was having the opposite effect.
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3695
Pero agora,
estaba a ter o efecto contrario.
estaba a ter o efecto contrario.
13:13
It was pushing people away.
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2483
Estaba afastando a xente.
13:15
People kept leaving to get coffee.
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3747
A xente marchaba por un café.
13:19
She felt crucified by her experience,
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Sentíase crucificada pola experiencia,
13:23
but she didn't want to let that crucified self die.
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6222
pero non quería deixar morrer
o seu eu crucificado.
o seu eu crucificado.
13:29
Now, perhaps you are thinking
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2917
Se cadra están pensando
13:32
I was a little harsh with her,
263
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que fun un pouco dura con ela,
13:35
so I must tell you that
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así que debo dicirlles
13:37
I was speaking out of my own experience.
265
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3692
que estaba falando por experiencia propia.
13:41
Many, many years before,
266
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2844
Moitos anos antes,
13:43
I had been fired from a job that I loved,
267
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3326
botáranme dun traballo que adoraba,
13:47
and I would not stop talking about my innocence
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3716
e non paraba de falar da miña inocencia
13:50
and the injustice and the betrayal and the deceipt,
269
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3404
e da inxustiza, a traizón, a decepción,
13:54
until finally, just like this woman,
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1130
ata que ao final, como con esta muller,
13:55
people were walking away from me,
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823250
2041
a xente escapaba de min,
13:57
until I finally realized
272
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3236
ata que me dei conta
14:00
I wasn't just processing my feelings,
273
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3872
de que non estaba procesando
os meus sentimentos,
os meus sentimentos,
14:04
I was feeding them.
274
832399
2708
estaba alimentándoos.
14:07
I didn't want to let that crucified self die.
275
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4063
Non quería deixar morrer
o meu eu crucificado.
o meu eu crucificado.
14:11
But we all know that with any resurrection story,
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5422
Pero todos sabemos que
nunha historia de resurrección,
nunha historia de resurrección,
14:16
you have to die first.
277
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2628
hai que morrer primeiro.
14:19
The Christian story,
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1823
Na historia cristiá,
14:21
Jesus was dead a whole day in the tomb
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3272
Xesús pasou un día enteiro no cadaleito
14:24
before he was resurrected.
280
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2495
antes de resucitar.
14:27
And I believe that for us,
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1838
Eu creo que para nós,
14:28
being in the tomb
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2132
estar no cadaleito
14:30
means doing our own deep inner work
283
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3986
significa facer un fondo traballo interior
14:34
around our wounds
284
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2704
sobre as nosas feridas
14:37
and allowing ourselves to be healed.
285
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4473
e permitirnos a nós mesmos curar.
14:42
We have to let that crucified self die
286
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3057
Temos que deixar
que o eu crucificado morra
que o eu crucificado morra
14:45
so that a new self, a truer self,
287
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3604
para que un novo eu, un eu verdadeiro,
14:48
is born.
288
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2382
poida nacer.
14:51
We have to let that old story go
289
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2858
Temos que deixar marchar
esa historia vella
esa historia vella
14:54
so that a new story, a truer story,
290
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4147
para que unha nova historia,
máis verdadeira,
máis verdadeira,
14:58
can be told.
291
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3039
poida ser contada.
15:01
Claim your experience. Don't let it claim you.
292
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5543
Superen a súa experiencia.
Non deixen que ela os supere.
Non deixen que ela os supere.
15:06
What if there were no survivors,
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2581
E se non existisen sobreviventes?
15:09
meaning, what if people decided
294
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2796
É dicir, e se a xente decidise
15:12
to just claim their trauma as an experience
295
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2870
reivindicar o seu trauma como experiencia
15:15
instead of taking it on as an identity?
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4170
en vez de asumilo como identidade?
15:19
Maybe it would be the end of being
297
906990
2002
Quizais acabaría o de estar
15:21
trapped in our wounds
298
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2358
atrapado nas nosas feridas
15:23
and the beginning of amazing
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3554
e sería o comezo dunha sorprendente
15:27
self-exploration and discovery and growth.
300
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3926
autoexploración, descubrimento
e crecemento.
e crecemento.
15:31
Maybe it would be the start of defining ourselves
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4795
Quizais comezariamos
a definirnos a nós mesmos
a definirnos a nós mesmos
15:35
by who we have become
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2580
polo que chegamos a ser
15:38
and who we are becoming.
303
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4170
e en que nos estamos convertendo.
15:42
So perhaps survivor was not
304
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5771
Ao mellor supervivente non era
15:48
one of the three things that you would tell me.
305
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5207
unha das tres cousas que me dirían.
15:53
No matter.
306
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1317
Non importa.
15:54
I just want you all to know that
307
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2240
Só quero que saiban
15:57
I am really glad that we are on this bus together,
308
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4313
que estou moi contenta
de que esteamos xuntos neste bus,
de que esteamos xuntos neste bus,
16:01
and this is my stop.
309
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3896
e esta é a miña parada.
16:05
(Applause)
310
953119
3705
(Aplausos)
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Debra Jarvis - Chaplain + authorDebra Jarvis isn't your typical hospital chaplain. With wry wit, she aims to comfort patients -- and also challenge them.
Why you should listen
For writer, ordained minister and hospital chaplain Debra Jarvis, humor is a powerful balm. She is not afraid to be funny even when doing very serious work with the sick and dying as a hospice chaplain, a pastoral consultant for volunteer groups caring for people with AIDS and MS, and a staff chaplain at the Seattle Cancer Care Alliance. Debra is the author of It’s Not About the Hair: And Other Certainties of Life & Cancer and numerous other books. Currently on sabbatical in Geneva, Debra’s last job was as writer-in-residence for the University Congregational United Church of Christ in Seattle. In her free time, Debra accompanies her Cairn terrier Max in his therapy dog work.
Debra Jarvis | Speaker | TED.com