ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Debra Jarvis - Chaplain + author
Debra Jarvis isn't your typical hospital chaplain. With wry wit, she aims to comfort patients -- and also challenge them.

Why you should listen

For writer, ordained minister and hospital chaplain Debra Jarvis, humor is a powerful balm. She is not afraid to be funny even when doing very serious work with the sick and dying as a hospice chaplain, a pastoral consultant for volunteer groups caring for people with AIDS and MS, and a staff chaplain at the Seattle Cancer Care Alliance. Debra is the author of It’s Not About the Hair: And Other Certainties of Life & Cancer and numerous other books. Currently on sabbatical in Geneva, Debra’s last job was as writer-in-residence for the University Congregational United Church of Christ in Seattle. In her free time, Debra accompanies her Cairn terrier Max in his therapy dog work.

More profile about the speaker
Debra Jarvis | Speaker | TED.com
TEDMED 2014

Debra Jarvis: Yes, I survived cancer. But that doesn't define me

黛布拉·贾维斯: 我战胜了癌症,但那并不代表什么

Filmed:
1,110,917 views

当被诊断出患了癌症时黛布拉·贾维斯已经在一家医院做了将近30年的牧师了。作为一名患者她学到了不少。在这个诙谐、大胆的演讲中,她解释了“癌症幸存者”的身份标识是如何让人们感到静止的。她希望我们在给自己成长和进步的空间的同时,定义自己最困难的历经,而不是被它们定义。
- Chaplain + author
Debra Jarvis isn't your typical hospital chaplain. With wry wit, she aims to comfort patients -- and also challenge them. Full bio

Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.

00:13
I just met会见 you on a bus总线,
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我刚在公交车上见过你,
00:16
and we would really like
to get to know each other,
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并且我们真的很想了解对方,
00:19
but I've got to get off at the next下一个 stop,
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但是我得在下一站下车,
00:21
so you're going to tell me
three things about yourself你自己
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所以你打算告诉我三件
00:26
that just define确定 you as a person,
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可以定义你这个人的事情,
00:30
three things about yourself你自己
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三件会帮助我
00:31
that will help me understand理解 who you are,
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理解你是谁的事情,
00:35
three things that just
get to your very essence本质.
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三件可以显现出你的本质的事情。
00:39
And what I'm wondering想知道
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我很好奇的是,
00:42
is, of those three things,
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在这三件事中,
00:45
is any one of them
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是否有一件是
00:47
surviving幸存 some kind of trauma外伤?
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从某种创伤中幸存下来。
00:52
Cancer癌症 survivor幸存者, rape强奸 survivor幸存者,
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癌症幸存者、强奸幸存者、
00:58
Holocaust大屠杀 survivor幸存者, incest乱伦 survivor幸存者.
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大屠杀幸存者、乱伦幸存者。
01:03
Ever notice注意 how we tend趋向 to identify鉴定 ourselves我们自己
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有没有注意到我们是如何
01:07
by our wounds伤口?
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通过受过的创伤来认同我们自己的?
01:09
And where I have seen看到 this survivor幸存者 identity身分
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我见过的受这种幸存者身份认同
01:14
have the most consequences后果
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影响最深的
01:16
is in the cancer癌症 community社区.
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是癌症患者群体。
01:19
And I've been around this
community社区 for a long time,
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我已经处在这个群体中很久了,
01:21
because I've been a hospice临终关怀
and a hospital醫院 chaplain牧师
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因为我已经在一家临终关怀所和医院
01:25
for almost几乎 30 years年份.
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做了近30年的牧师。
01:28
And in 2005, I was working加工 at a big cancer癌症 center中央
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2005年,当我得到
01:34
when I received收到 the news新闻 that
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我母亲得了乳腺癌的消息时
01:36
my mother母亲 had breast乳房 cancer癌症.
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我正在一家大的癌症中心工作。
01:39
And then five days later后来,
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然后5天之后,
01:42
I received收到 the news新闻 that I had breast乳房 cancer癌症.
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我得到消息我也得了乳腺癌。
01:47
My mother母亲 and I can be competitive竞争的
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我母亲和我可以竞争——
01:50
(Laughter笑声) —
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(笑声)——
01:51
but I was really not trying to
compete竞争 with her on this one.
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但是我真的不想在这件事上跟她竞争。
01:56
And in fact事实, I thought, well,
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事实上,我当时想,
01:58
if you have to have cancer癌症,
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如果你必须得癌症的话,
02:00
it's pretty漂亮 convenient方便 to be working加工
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那么在一个治疗癌症的地方上班
02:02
at a place地点 that treats对待 it.
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会给你提供很多便利。
02:03
But this is what I heard听说 from
a lot of outraged愤怒 people.
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但是我听到很多愤怒的人会说,
02:06
What?
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什么?
02:07
You're the chaplain牧师.
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你是牧师,
02:09
You should be immune免疫的.
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你应该幸免的。
02:11
Like, maybe I should have just gotten得到 off
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就像是说,也许我应该只受到
02:14
with a warning警告 instead代替 of an actual实际 ticket,
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一点警告而不是真正的得病,
02:16
because I'm on the force.
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因为毕竟我是一个牧师。
02:20
So I did get my treatment治疗 at the
cancer癌症 center中央 where I worked工作,
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我在我工作的癌症中心接受了治疗,
02:23
which哪一个 was amazingly令人惊讶 convenient方便,
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那真的是非常方便。
02:25
and I had chemotherapy化疗
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我做了化疗
02:27
and a mastectomy乳房切除术, and a saline盐水 implant注入 put in,
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以及乳房切除和生理盐水植入手术,
02:30
and so before I say another另一个 word,
let me just say right now,
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因此在我说下一句之前,让我告诉你们
02:32
this is the fake one. (Laughter笑声)
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这就是那个假的乳房。(笑声)
02:37
I have found发现 that I need to get that out of the way,
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我发现我需要不去在意这件事,
02:40
because I'll see somebody go
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因为我会看到别人指指点点地说
02:42
"Oh, I know it's this one."
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:“我知道哪个是假的。”
02:44
And then I'll move移动 or I'll
gesture手势 and they'll他们会 go,
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然后我会用手势告诉他们
02:47
"No, it's that one."
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“不是的,另外一个才是假的。”
02:49
So now you know.
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所以现在你们都知道了。
02:51
I learned学到了 a lot being存在 a patient患者,
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在生病期间我学到了很多,
02:53
and one of the surprising奇怪 things was
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其中最令人惊讶的一件事是
02:55
that only a small part部分 of the cancer癌症 experience经验
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医疗只是癌症经历中
02:59
is about medicine医学.
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很小的一部分。
03:01
Most of it is about feelings情怀 and faith信仰
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其它大多数的是关于感情和信仰、
03:06
and losing失去 and finding发现 your identity身分
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失去和寻找你的身份认同
03:08
and discovering发现 strength强度
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以及发现那些你拥有却从来都不知道的
03:10
and flexibility灵活性 you never even knew知道 you had.
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力量和柔性。
03:14
It's about realizing实现 that
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它是关于意识到
03:16
the most important重要 things in life are
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生命中最重要的事情
03:19
not things at all, but relationships关系,
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不是其它的,而是人际关系,
03:22
and it's about laughing in the face面对 of uncertainty不确定
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它是关于笑着面对不确定性
03:26
and learning学习 that the way to
get out of almost几乎 anything
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以及学到逃避任何事情的方法
03:30
is to say, "I have cancer癌症."
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就是说:”我有癌症。“
03:34
So the other thing I learned学到了 was that
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所以我学到的另外一件事就是
03:36
I don't have to take on "cancer癌症 survivor幸存者"
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我不需要将“癌症幸存者”
03:40
as my identity身分,
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作为我的身份标识,
03:42
but, boy男孩, are there powerful强大 forces军队
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但是,男孩,有很强大的力量
03:46
pushing推动 me to do just that.
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促使我那样做。
03:49
Now, don't, please, misunderstand误解 me.
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请不要误解我。
03:53
Cancer癌症 organizations组织
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癌症组织、
03:55
and the drive驾驶 for early screening筛查
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对早期筛查的推动
03:57
and cancer癌症 awareness意识 and cancer癌症 research研究
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以及对癌症的认识和研究
04:00
have normalized标准化 cancer癌症,
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已经将癌症规范化了,
04:02
and this is a wonderful精彩 thing.
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这是一件很了不起的事。
04:03
We can now talk about cancer癌症
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我们现在不再需要
04:05
without whispering耳语.
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悄悄地谈论癌症。
04:07
We can talk about cancer癌症 and
we can support支持 one another另一个.
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我们可以公开地谈论癌症并互相支持。
04:12
But sometimes有时, it feels感觉
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但有时,它让人感觉到
04:15
like people go a little overboard落水
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有些人有点热心得过头了,
04:16
and they start开始 telling告诉 us how we're going to feel.
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他们开始告诉我们接下来我们将有什么感觉。
04:21
So about a week after my surgery手术,
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大约在我做完手术一个星期后,
04:25
we had a houseguest房客.
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家里来了一位客人。
04:28
That was probably大概 our first mistake错误.
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那可能是我们的第一个错误。
04:31
And keep in mind心神 that
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请记住
04:32
at this point in my life
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那时我已经
04:34
I had been a chaplain牧师 for over 20 years年份,
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做了超过20年的牧师了,
04:37
and issues问题 like dying垂死 and death死亡
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像临终和死亡
04:40
and the meaning含义 of life,
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以及生命的意义之类的事情,
04:41
these are all things I'd been
yakkingyakking about forever永远.
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是我一直都在唠叨的。
04:45
So at dinner晚餐 that night,
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所以在那天的晚餐上,
04:47
our houseguest房客 proceeds收益 to
stretch伸展 his arms武器 up over his head,
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我们的客人开始伸展他的双臂,
04:50
and say, "You know, Deb德布,
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并且说,“你知道吗,黛布,
04:53
now you're really going to learn学习 what's important重要.
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你现在真的要去学习什么是重要的。
04:57
Yes, you are going to make some big changes变化
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是的,你要在你的生命中
04:59
in your life,
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做一些大的改变,
05:01
and now you're going to start开始
thinking思维 about your death死亡.
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你要开始思考死亡。
05:04
Yep是的, this cancer癌症 is your wakeup醒来 call."
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没错,这场癌症是对你的警告。“
05:10
Now, these are golden金色 words
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这些都是
05:13
coming未来 from someone有人 who is speaking请讲 about
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某个人从他自己的经历出发
05:15
their own拥有 experience经验,
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所总结的金石良言,
05:17
but when someone有人 is telling告诉 you
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但是当这个人是在告诉你
05:20
how you are going to feel,
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你接下来将有什么样的感觉时,
05:22
it's instant瞬间 crap掷骰子.
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这些都是即时垃圾。
05:24
The only reason原因 I did not kill him
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那晚我没用我的赤手空拳
05:27
with my bare hands
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将他杀掉的唯一理由
05:29
was because I could not lift电梯 my right arm.
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就是我不能举起我的右手。
05:33
But I did say a really bad word to him,
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但是我真的对他说了一个很不好的字眼,
05:37
followed其次 by a regular定期 word, that —
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夹杂在正常的句子中,那个词——
05:40
(Laughter笑声) —
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(笑声)——
05:41
made制作 my husband丈夫 say, "She's on narcotics毒品."
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使得我丈夫赶紧打圆场:“她刚用了麻醉药。”
05:45
(Laughter笑声)
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(笑声)
05:47
And then after my treatment治疗, it just felt like
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然后治疗过后,感觉好像
05:49
everyone大家 was telling告诉 me what my
experience经验 was going to mean.
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每一个人都在跟我说我的经历将对我意味着什么。
05:53
"Oh, this means手段 you're going to be doing the walk步行."
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“哦,这意味着你要多散散步。“
05:55
"Oh, this means手段 you're coming未来 to the luncheon午餐."
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“哦,这意味着你要去吃午餐了。“
05:57
"This means手段 you're going to be wearing穿着
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“哦,这意味着你要打
05:58
the pink ribbon色带 and the pink t-shirtT恤衫
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粉红色的丝带和穿粉红色的T恤
06:01
and the headband头带 and the earrings耳环
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以及粉红色的头巾、耳环、
06:03
and the bracelet手镯 and the panties."
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手镯和内裤。“
06:06
Panties. No, seriously认真地, google谷歌 it.
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内裤,不,严肃的说,谷歌一下它。
06:10
(Laughter笑声)
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(笑声)
06:12
How is that raising提高 awareness意识?
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这个怎么可能提高人们对癌症的意识?
06:14
Only my husband丈夫 should be seeing眼看 my panties.
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只有我丈夫可以看到我的内裤。
06:16
(Laughter笑声)
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(笑声)
06:17
He's pretty漂亮 aware知道的 of cancer癌症 already已经.
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他已经对癌症有很清楚的认识了。
06:22
It was at that point where I felt like, oh my God,
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这就是那时我的感受,哦,天啦,
06:25
this is just taking服用 over my life.
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我的生命就被这些东西接管了。
06:28
And that's when I told myself,
claim要求 your experience经验.
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那时我告诉自己,定义你的经历。
06:33
Don't let it claim要求 you.
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不要让它定义你。
06:37
We all know that
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我们都知道
06:39
the way to cope应付 with trauma外伤, with loss失利,
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应付创伤、失败
06:43
with any life-changing改变生活 experience经验,
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或者任何能改变人生的经历的方法
06:45
is to find meaning含义.
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就是找到意义。
06:48
But here's这里的 the thing:
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但是事实是这样的:
06:50
No one can tell us
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没有人能告诉我们
06:51
what our experience经验 means手段.
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那些我们经历过的事情意味着什么。
06:54
We have to decide决定 what it means手段.
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我们必须确定它的意义。
06:58
And it doesn't have to be some gigantic巨大,
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并且它不一定非得是什么巨大的、
07:00
extroverted外放 meaning含义.
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外向性的意义。
07:02
We don't all have to start开始 a foundation基础
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我们也不必都去创建一个基金会
07:04
or an organization组织 or write a book
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或者什么组织之类的,不必都去写一本书
07:06
or make a documentary记录.
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或拍一部纪录片什么的。
07:09
Meaning含义 can be quiet安静
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意义可以是安静
07:12
and introverted内敛.
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和含蓄的。
07:14
Maybe we make one small decision决定 about our lives生活
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也许我们做的一个关于我们生活的一个小决定
07:20
that can bring带来 about big change更改.
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就可以带来大的改变。
07:25
Many许多 years年份 ago, I had a patient患者,
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很多年前,我有一个病人,
07:27
just a wonderful精彩 young年轻 man
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一个非常不错的年青人,
07:29
who was loved喜爱 by the staff员工,
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他深受我们员工的喜爱,
07:32
and so it was something of a shock休克 to us to realize实现
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因此当得知他没有一个朋友时
07:35
that he had no friends朋友.
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我很震惊。
07:39
He lived生活 by himself他自己,
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他一个人住,
07:41
he would come in for chemotherapy化疗 by himself他自己,
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他独自过来化疗,
07:45
he would receive接收 his treatment治疗,
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接受完治疗
07:47
and then he'd他会 walk步行 home alone单独.
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又独自一个走回家。
07:51
And I even asked him. I said, "Hey,
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我甚至问过他,我说,“嘿,
07:52
how come you never bring带来 a friend朋友 with you?"
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你怎么从来没有带朋友一起来过?“
07:55
And he said, "I don't really have any friends朋友."
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他说,“我真的没有任何朋友。”
08:00
But he had tons of friends朋友 on the infusion注入 floor地板.
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但是他在输液层却有很多的朋友。
08:02
We all loved喜爱 him, and people were going
in and out of his room房间 all the time.
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我们都很喜欢他,他的房间一直人来人往。
08:07
So at his last chemo化疗,
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在他最后一次化疗时,
08:10
we sang him the song歌曲
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我们为他唱歌
08:11
and we put the crown王冠 on his
head and we blew自爆 the bubbles泡泡,
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我们给他带上花环并给他吹泡泡,
08:14
and then I asked him, I said,
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然后我问他,我说,
08:16
"So what are you going to do now?"
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“你现在打算怎么做?”
08:20
And he answered回答,
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他回答道,
08:22
"Make friends朋友."
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“交朋友。”
08:24
And he did.
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并且他那样做了。
08:26
He started开始 volunteering志愿服务
and he made制作 friends朋友 there,
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他开始做义工并且在那里交了一些朋友,
08:30
and he began开始 going to a church教会
and he made制作 friends朋友 there,
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他开始去教堂并且在那里交了一些朋友,
08:32
and at Christmas圣诞 he invited邀请 my husband丈夫
and me to a party派对 in his apartment公寓,
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圣诞节时他邀请我和我丈夫去他的公寓参加了一个聚会,
08:35
and the place地点 was filled填充 with his friends朋友.
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房间里满满的都是他的朋友。
08:40
Claim要求 your experience经验.
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定义你的经历。
08:43
Don't let it claim要求 you.
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不要让它定义你。
08:44
He decided决定 that the meaning含义 of his experience经验
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他确定他的癌症经历的意义
08:49
was to know the joy喜悦 of friendship友谊,
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就是懂得了友谊的乐趣,
08:53
and then learn学习 to make friends朋友.
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然后学会了交朋友。
08:58
So what about you?
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那么你呢?
09:01
How are you going to find meaning含义
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你将如何在糟糕的经历中
09:04
in your crappy蹩脚的 experience经验?
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找到意义?
09:06
It could be a recent最近 one,
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可能是最近的一次经历,
09:08
or it could be one that you've been carrying携带 around
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或者是已经伴随了你
09:10
for a really long time.
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很长时间的一段经历。
09:14
It's never too late晚了 to change更改 what it means手段,
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对于改变它的意义来说永远不会嫌迟,
09:19
because meaning含义 is dynamic动态.
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因为意义是动态的。
09:21
What it means手段 today今天
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它今天所代表的意思
09:22
may可能 not be what it means手段 a year from now,
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可能跟1年后
09:24
or 10 years年份 from now.
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或者10年后已经不一样了。
09:27
It's never too late晚了 to become成为 someone有人 other
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成为其他类型的人
09:30
than simply只是 a survivor幸存者.
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而不仅仅是幸存者是永远也不嫌迟的。
09:33
Hear how static静态的 that word sounds声音?
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这个词听起来是多么的静止。
09:37
Survivor幸存者.
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幸存者。
09:39
No movement运动, no growth发展.
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没有运动,也没有成长。
09:43
Claim要求 your experience经验.
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定义你的经历。
09:45
Don't let it claim要求 you, because if you do,
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不要让它定义你,因为如果你被它定义了,
09:48
I believe you will become成为 trapped被困,
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我相信你会陷入困境,
09:51
you will not grow增长, you will not evolve发展.
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你不会再成长,也不会再发展。
09:57
But of course课程, sometimes有时 it's not outside pressures压力
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当然,有时候并不是外部的压力
10:00
that cause原因 us to take on that identity身分 of survivor幸存者.
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导致我们为自己贴上幸存者的标识。
10:04
Sometimes有时 we just like the perks津贴.
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而是因为有时我们喜欢这种特权享受。
10:08
Sometimes有时 there's a payoff付清.
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有时候会因此得利。
10:12
But then we get stuck卡住.
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但是之后我们会陷入困境。
10:16
Now, one of the first things I learned学到了
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在作为一个牧师实习生时
10:17
as a chaplain牧师 intern实习生 was the three C'sC'S
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我首先学到的就是关于
10:22
of the chaplain's牧师的 job工作:
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牧师工作的3C:
10:24
Comfort安慰, clarify澄清 and, when necessary必要, confront面对
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安慰(Comfort)、解释(clarify)以及必要的时候对抗( confront)
10:31
or challenge挑战.
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或者说挑战( challenge)。
10:33
Now, we all pretty漂亮 much love the comforting欣慰的
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我们都很喜欢安慰
10:35
and the clarifying澄清.
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和解释。
10:37
The confronting面对, not so much.
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而对于对抗,可能态度就不一样了。
10:42
One of the other things that I loved喜爱
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作为一名牧师
10:44
about being存在 a chaplain牧师 was
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另外一件我喜欢的事情就是
10:46
seeing眼看 patients耐心 a year, or even several一些 years年份
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去见那些结束治疗一年后
10:51
after their treatment治疗, because
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甚至几年后的病人,因为
10:53
it was just really cool to see
how they had changed
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亲眼看着他们如何改变、
10:55
and how their lives生活 had evolved进化
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他们的生活如何进步
10:57
and what had happened发生 to them.
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以及他们身体发生了什么是一件很酷的事情。
10:59
So I was thrilled高兴 one day
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所以当有一天
11:02
to get a page down into the lobby前厅 of the clinic诊所
222
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我在诊所的大堂
11:04
from a patient患者 who I had seen看到 the year before,
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看到一个一年前见过的病人时非常兴奋,
11:08
and she was there with her two adult成人 daughters女儿,
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她跟她的两个已成年的女儿在那儿,
11:10
who I also knew知道, for her one year follow-up跟进 exam考试.
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我知道她是结束治疗一年后来做复查的。
11:15
So I got down to the lobby前厅, and they were ecstatic欣喜若狂
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662924
3537
我走进了大堂,她们当时正欣喜若狂,
11:18
because she had just gotten得到
all of her test测试 results结果 back
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因为她刚拿到了检查结果,
11:20
and she was NEDNED: No Evidence证据 of Disease疾病.
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结果是无疾病征兆(NED)。
11:27
Which哪一个 I used to think meant意味着 Not Entirely完全 Dead.
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我以前以为NED的意思是没有完全死去。
11:31
So they were ecstatic欣喜若狂, we satSAT down to visit访问,
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所以她们很开心,我们坐下来闲谈,
11:37
and it was so weird奇怪的, because
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2807
然而事情有点奇怪,因为
11:40
within two minutes分钟, she
started开始 retelling复述 me the story故事
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谈不到两分钟,她开始对我复述
11:44
of her diagnosis诊断 and her
surgery手术 and her chemo化疗,
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关于她的诊断、手术和化疗的故事,
11:48
even though虽然, as her chaplain牧师,
I saw her every一切 week,
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尽管做为她的牧师,我之前每个星期都见她,
11:52
and so I knew知道 this story故事.
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所以我是知道那些故事的。
11:54
And she was using运用 words like suffering痛苦,
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3042
而且她使用了像“煎熬“、
11:57
agony痛苦, struggle斗争.
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“痛苦”、“挣扎”这样的字眼。
12:01
And she ended结束 her story故事 with,
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2614
最后她用
12:04
"I felt crucified钉在十字架上."
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“我感到自己被钉在了十字架上”结束了她的故事。
12:09
And at that point, her two
daughters女儿 got up and said,
240
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2664
就在那时,她的两个女儿起身说道,
12:12
"We're going to go get coffee咖啡."
241
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3912
“我们去喝咖啡了。”
12:15
And they left.
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然后她们离开了。
12:19
Tell me three things about
yourself你自己 before the next下一个 stop.
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在下一站之前告诉我三件关于你的事。
12:21
People were leaving离开 the bus总线 before she even got
244
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2756
人们可能会在她
12:24
to number two or number three.
245
732481
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说到第二件或第三件事之前就下车。
12:30
So I handed her a tissue组织,
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3487
我给她递了一张纸巾,
12:33
and I gave her a hug拥抱,
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并且拥抱了她,
12:36
and then, because I really cared照顾 for this woman女人,
248
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然后,因为我真的很关心这个女人,
12:40
I said,
249
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2086
所以我对她说,
12:42
"Get down off your cross交叉."
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“从十字架上下来吧。“
12:44
And she said, "What?"
251
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然后她说,“什么?”
12:49
And I repeated重复, "Get down off your cross交叉."
252
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5414
我重复道,“从十字架上下来吧。”
12:54
And to her credit信用, she could
talk about her reasons原因
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4645
为了给自己增光,她可以说出她
12:59
for embracing拥抱 and then clinging执着 to this identity身分.
254
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5119
接受然后坚持这个身份标识的理由。
13:04
It got her a lot of attention注意.
255
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2022
它给她带来了很多关注。
13:06
People were taking服用 care关心 of her for a change更改.
256
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3105
人们本来希望通过关心使她改变。
13:09
But now, it was having the opposite对面 effect影响.
257
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3695
但是现在,它正取得相反的效果。
13:13
It was pushing推动 people away.
258
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它反而在促使人们离开。
13:15
People kept不停 leaving离开 to get coffee咖啡.
259
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3747
人们离开她去喝咖啡。
13:19
She felt crucified钉在十字架上 by her experience经验,
260
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3901
她通过自己的经历使自己感觉到被钉在十字架上,
13:23
but she didn't want to let that crucified钉在十字架上 self die.
261
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但是她又不想让这个被钉在十字架上的自己死掉。
13:29
Now, perhaps也许 you are thinking思维
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也许你们在想
13:32
I was a little harsh苛刻 with her,
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我对她有一点苛刻,
13:35
so I must必须 tell you that
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所以我必须告诉你
13:37
I was speaking请讲 out of my own拥有 experience经验.
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我只是在说出我自己的经历。
13:41
Many许多, many许多 years年份 before,
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很多很多年前,
13:43
I had been fired解雇 from a job工作 that I loved喜爱,
267
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我从一个自己喜欢的职位上被炒了,
13:47
and I would not stop talking about my innocence无辜
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然后我不停地述说我的清白、
13:50
and the injustice不公正 and the betrayal辜负 and the deceiptdeceipt,
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受到的不公正的待遇、公司的背叛和卑鄙,
13:54
until直到 finally最后, just like this woman女人,
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1130
直到最后,就像这个女人一样,
13:55
people were walking步行 away from me,
271
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人们离我而去,
13:57
until直到 I finally最后 realized实现
272
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直到我最终意识到
14:00
I wasn't just processing处理 my feelings情怀,
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我不仅仅是在炮制我自己的感受,
14:04
I was feeding馈送 them.
274
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而且也在将这些感受输送给他们。
14:07
I didn't want to let that crucified钉在十字架上 self die.
275
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我不想让被钉在十字架上的自己死去。
14:11
But we all know that with any resurrection复活 story故事,
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但是我们都知道在任何的重生故事中,
14:16
you have to die first.
277
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你都必须先死去。
14:19
The Christian基督教 story故事,
278
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基督教的故事中,
14:21
Jesus耶稣 was dead a whole整个 day in the tomb
279
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耶稣在复活之前
14:24
before he was resurrected复活.
280
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被埋在坟墓里整整一天。
14:27
And I believe that for us,
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我认为对于我们来说,
14:28
being存在 in the tomb
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在坟墓里
14:30
means手段 doing our own拥有 deep inner work
283
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的意思就是围绕着自己的创伤
14:34
around our wounds伤口
284
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去做内心深处的工作,
14:37
and allowing允许 ourselves我们自己 to be healed愈合.
285
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并且允许自己的创伤愈合。
14:42
We have to let that crucified钉在十字架上 self die
286
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我们得让被钉在十字架上的自我死去,
14:45
so that a new self, a truer更真实 self,
287
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这样才能让一个全新的、更真实的自我
14:48
is born天生.
288
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诞生。
14:51
We have to let that old story故事 go
289
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我们要让旧的故事成为过去,
14:54
so that a new story故事, a truer更真实 story故事,
290
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这样才能讲述全新的、
14:58
can be told.
291
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更真实的故事。
15:01
Claim要求 your experience经验. Don't let it claim要求 you.
292
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5543
定义你的经历,不要让它定义你。
15:06
What if there were no survivors幸存者,
293
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如果没有幸存者,
15:09
meaning含义, what if people decided决定
294
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没有所谓的意义会怎么样,如果人们
15:12
to just claim要求 their trauma外伤 as an experience经验
295
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仅仅把他们的创伤当作一种经历
15:15
instead代替 of taking服用 it on as an identity身分?
296
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而不是作为一个身份标识又会怎么样?
15:19
Maybe it would be the end结束 of being存在
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2002
也许这将使我们不再
15:21
trapped被困 in our wounds伤口
298
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受困于我们的创伤
15:23
and the beginning开始 of amazing惊人
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并且开始奇妙的
15:27
self-exploration自我探索 and discovery发现 and growth发展.
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自我探索、发现和成长。
15:31
Maybe it would be the start开始 of defining确定 ourselves我们自己
301
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也许它将使我们开始通过
15:35
by who we have become成为
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认识到我们曾经是什么样的人
15:38
and who we are becoming变得.
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以及我们将会成为什么样的人来定义自己。
15:42
So perhaps也许 survivor幸存者 was not
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所以也许成为幸存者不是
15:48
one of the three things that you would tell me.
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你将要告诉我的三件事之一。
15:53
No matter.
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没关系。
15:54
I just want you all to know that
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我只是想让你们都知道
15:57
I am really glad高兴 that we are on this bus总线 together一起,
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很高兴我们能在同一辆公交车上,
16:01
and this is my stop.
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并且我到站了。
16:05
(Applause掌声)
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(掌声)
Translated by chunhua zhang
Reviewed by Rufus Luo

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ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Debra Jarvis - Chaplain + author
Debra Jarvis isn't your typical hospital chaplain. With wry wit, she aims to comfort patients -- and also challenge them.

Why you should listen

For writer, ordained minister and hospital chaplain Debra Jarvis, humor is a powerful balm. She is not afraid to be funny even when doing very serious work with the sick and dying as a hospice chaplain, a pastoral consultant for volunteer groups caring for people with AIDS and MS, and a staff chaplain at the Seattle Cancer Care Alliance. Debra is the author of It’s Not About the Hair: And Other Certainties of Life & Cancer and numerous other books. Currently on sabbatical in Geneva, Debra’s last job was as writer-in-residence for the University Congregational United Church of Christ in Seattle. In her free time, Debra accompanies her Cairn terrier Max in his therapy dog work.

More profile about the speaker
Debra Jarvis | Speaker | TED.com