TEDMED 2014
Debra Jarvis: Yes, I survived cancer. But that doesn't define me
Debra Džarvis (Debra Jarvis): Da, preživela sam rak. Ali me to ne definiše
Filmed:
Readability: 3.3
1,110,917 views
Debra Džarvis je radila kao bolnička kapelanica skoro 30 godina, kada joj je dijagnostikovan rak. I naučila je podosta kao pacijent. U duhovitom, odvažnom govoru, ona objašnjava kako identitet "preživeo sam rak" može delovati statično. Ona traži od nas da iskoristimo svoja najteža iskustva, dok dajemo sebi prostor za rast i razvoj.
Debra Jarvis - Chaplain + author
Debra Jarvis isn't your typical hospital chaplain. With wry wit, she aims to comfort patients -- and also challenge them. Full bio
Debra Jarvis isn't your typical hospital chaplain. With wry wit, she aims to comfort patients -- and also challenge them. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:13
I just met you on a bus,
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Upravo smo se sreli u autobusu,
00:16
and we would really like
to get to know each other,
to get to know each other,
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i zaista bismo voleli
da se međusobno upoznamo,
da se međusobno upoznamo,
00:19
but I've got to get off at the next stop,
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ali moram da izađem na sledećoj stanici,
00:21
so you're going to tell me
three things about yourself
three things about yourself
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pa ćeš mi reći tri stvari o sebi
00:26
that just define you as a person,
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koje te definišu kao osobu,
00:30
three things about yourself
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tri stvari o sebi
00:31
that will help me understand who you are,
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koje će mi pomoći da razumem ko si ti,
00:35
three things that just
get to your very essence.
get to your very essence.
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tri stvari koje prikazuju tvoju suštinu.
00:39
And what I'm wondering
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I ono što se pitam je,
00:42
is, of those three things,
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od te tri stvari,
00:45
is any one of them
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da li je ijedna
00:47
surviving some kind of trauma?
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preživljavanje neke traume?
00:52
Cancer survivor, rape survivor,
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Preživeli ste rak, silovanje,
00:58
Holocaust survivor, incest survivor.
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preživeli ste holokaust, incest.
01:03
Ever notice how we tend to identify ourselves
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Da li ste ikada primetili
kako težimo da se identifikujemo
kako težimo da se identifikujemo
01:07
by our wounds?
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sa našim ranama?
01:09
And where I have seen this survivor identity
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Videla sam da ovaj identitet preživelog
01:14
have the most consequences
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ima najviše posledica
01:16
is in the cancer community.
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u zajednici ljudi obolelih od raka.
01:19
And I've been around this
community for a long time,
community for a long time,
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Bila sam u blizini ove zajednice jako dugo
01:21
because I've been a hospice
and a hospital chaplain
and a hospital chaplain
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jer sam bila kapelanica u domu i bolnici
01:25
for almost 30 years.
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skoro trideset godina.
01:28
And in 2005, I was working at a big cancer center
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I 2005. radila sam
u velikom institutu za rak
u velikom institutu za rak
01:34
when I received the news that
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kada sam primila vest
01:36
my mother had breast cancer.
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da moja majka ima rak dojke.
01:39
And then five days later,
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I pet dana kasnije
01:42
I received the news that I had breast cancer.
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saznala sam da i ja imam rak dojke.
01:47
My mother and I can be competitive —
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Moja majka i ja
znamo da budemo konkurenti -
znamo da budemo konkurenti -
01:50
(Laughter) —
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(Smeh) -
01:51
but I was really not trying to
compete with her on this one.
compete with her on this one.
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ali zaista nisam pokušavala
da se u ovome takmičim sa njom.
da se u ovome takmičim sa njom.
01:56
And in fact, I thought, well,
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U stvari, pomislila sam, dobro,
01:58
if you have to have cancer,
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ako već moraš da imaš rak,
02:00
it's pretty convenient to be working
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prilično je prikladno što radiš
02:02
at a place that treats it.
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u mestu koje ga leči.
02:03
But this is what I heard from
a lot of outraged people.
a lot of outraged people.
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Ali ovo je ono što sam čula
od mnogo pobesnelih ljudi.
od mnogo pobesnelih ljudi.
02:06
What?
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Šta?
02:07
You're the chaplain.
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Ti si kapelanica.
02:09
You should be immune.
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Trebalo bi da si imuna.
02:11
Like, maybe I should have just gotten off
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Kao, trebalo bi da se izvučeš
02:14
with a warning instead of an actual ticket,
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sa opomenom umesto stvarnom kaznom,
02:16
because I'm on the force.
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zato što radim u policiji.
02:20
So I did get my treatment at the
cancer center where I worked,
cancer center where I worked,
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I jesam dobila lečenje
u centru u kome sam radila,
u centru u kome sam radila,
02:23
which was amazingly convenient,
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što je bilo neverovatno zgodno,
02:25
and I had chemotherapy
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i imala sam hemoterapiju
02:27
and a mastectomy, and a saline implant put in,
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i mastektomiju, i ugrađivanje silikona,
02:30
and so before I say another word,
let me just say right now,
let me just say right now,
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i pre nego kažem nešto drugo,
reći ću odmah,
reći ću odmah,
02:32
this is the fake one. (Laughter)
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ova je lažna. (Smeh)
02:37
I have found that I need to get that out of the way,
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Shvatila sam da moram odmah to da obavim,
02:40
because I'll see somebody go
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jer bih videla nekoga da govori:
02:42
"Oh, I know it's this one."
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"Oh, znam, to je ova."
02:44
And then I'll move or I'll
gesture and they'll go,
gesture and they'll go,
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I onda ću se pomeriti
ili odmahnuti rukom i oni će:
ili odmahnuti rukom i oni će:
02:47
"No, it's that one."
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"Ne, to je ova".
02:49
So now you know.
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I sada znate.
02:51
I learned a lot being a patient,
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Naučila sam mnogo kao pacijent,
02:53
and one of the surprising things was
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i jedno od iznenđenja bilo je
02:55
that only a small part of the cancer experience
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da je samo mali deo iskustva sa rakom
02:59
is about medicine.
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zaista povezan sa medicinom.
03:01
Most of it is about feelings and faith
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Većina je u vezi sa osećanjima i verom,
03:06
and losing and finding your identity
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gubljenjem i pronalaženjem identiteta
03:08
and discovering strength
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i otkrivanjem snaga
03:10
and flexibility you never even knew you had.
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i prilagodljivosti
kojih niste ni bili svesni.
kojih niste ni bili svesni.
03:14
It's about realizing that
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U vezi je sa shvatanjem
03:16
the most important things in life are
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da najvažnije stvari u životu
03:19
not things at all, but relationships,
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nisu uopšte stvari, već veze,
03:22
and it's about laughing in the face of uncertainty
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i radi se o smejanju u lice neizvesnosti
03:26
and learning that the way to
get out of almost anything
get out of almost anything
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i učenju da je najlakši način
da se izvučete iz bilo čega
da se izvučete iz bilo čega
03:30
is to say, "I have cancer."
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da kažete: "Imam rak."
03:34
So the other thing I learned was that
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Druga stvar koju sam naučila bila je
03:36
I don't have to take on "cancer survivor"
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da ne moram da preuzmem
"preživela od raka"
"preživela od raka"
03:40
as my identity,
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kao svoj identitet,
03:42
but, boy, are there powerful forces
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ali čoveče, zar me te moćne sile
03:46
pushing me to do just that.
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ne guraju da uradim upravo to.
03:49
Now, don't, please, misunderstand me.
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Nemojte me, molim vas, pogrešno razumeti.
03:53
Cancer organizations
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Društva za borbu protiv raka
03:55
and the drive for early screening
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su pokretačka snaga ranog otkrivanja
03:57
and cancer awareness and cancer research
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i svesti o raku, i istraživanja o raku
04:00
have normalized cancer,
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su normalizovala rak,
04:02
and this is a wonderful thing.
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i ovo je divna stvar.
04:03
We can now talk about cancer
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Možemo sada da pričamo o raku
04:05
without whispering.
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bez šaputanja.
04:07
We can talk about cancer and
we can support one another.
we can support one another.
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Možemo razgovarati o raku
i podržati jedni druge.
i podržati jedni druge.
04:12
But sometimes, it feels
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Ali ponekad se čini
04:15
like people go a little overboard
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da ljudi malo preteraju
04:16
and they start telling us how we're going to feel.
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i počnu da nam govore
kako treba da se osećamo.
kako treba da se osećamo.
04:21
So about a week after my surgery,
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Tako smo nedelju dana posle moje operacije
04:25
we had a houseguest.
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imali gosta u kući.
04:28
That was probably our first mistake.
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To nam je verovatno bila prva greška.
04:31
And keep in mind that
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Imajte na umu da
04:32
at this point in my life
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u ovom trenutku svog života
04:34
I had been a chaplain for over 20 years,
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bila sam kapelanica preko 20 godina,
04:37
and issues like dying and death
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i o temama poput umiranja i smrti
04:40
and the meaning of life,
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i svrsi života,
04:41
these are all things I'd been
yakking about forever.
yakking about forever.
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o svemu tome sam oduvek pričala.
04:45
So at dinner that night,
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Tako, na večeri te noći,
04:47
our houseguest proceeds to
stretch his arms up over his head,
stretch his arms up over his head,
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naš gost nastavlja
da isteže ruke iznad glave
da isteže ruke iznad glave
04:50
and say, "You know, Deb,
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i govori: "Znaš, Deb,
04:53
now you're really going to learn what's important.
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sada ćeš stvarno naučiti šta je važno.
04:57
Yes, you are going to make some big changes
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Da, napravićeš neke velike promene
04:59
in your life,
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u svom životu,
05:01
and now you're going to start
thinking about your death.
thinking about your death.
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i sada ćeš početi
da razmišljaš o svojoj smrti.
da razmišljaš o svojoj smrti.
05:04
Yep, this cancer is your wakeup call."
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Da, ovaj rak je tvoj poziv na buđenje."
05:10
Now, these are golden words
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Ovo su zlatne reči
05:13
coming from someone who is speaking about
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kada dolaze od nekoga ko govori
05:15
their own experience,
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o sopstvenom iskustvu,
05:17
but when someone is telling you
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ali kada vam neko govori
05:20
how you are going to feel,
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kako ćete se osećati,
05:22
it's instant crap.
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to je trenutak gluposti.
05:24
The only reason I did not kill him
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Jedini razlog zbog kog ga nisam ubila
05:27
with my bare hands
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svojim golim rukama
05:29
was because I could not lift my right arm.
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bio je zato što nisam mogla
da podignem desnu ruku.
da podignem desnu ruku.
05:33
But I did say a really bad word to him,
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Ali sam mu rekla jako ružnu reč,
05:37
followed by a regular word, that —
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praćenu redovnom rečju -
05:40
(Laughter) —
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(Smeh) -
05:41
made my husband say, "She's on narcotics."
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pa je moj muž morao da kaže:
"Koristi narkotike."
"Koristi narkotike."
05:45
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
05:47
And then after my treatment, it just felt like
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I posle mog lečenja, prosto se činilo
05:49
everyone was telling me what my
experience was going to mean.
experience was going to mean.
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da mi svi govore
šta moje iskustvo treba da znači.
šta moje iskustvo treba da znači.
05:53
"Oh, this means you're going to be doing the walk."
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"Oh, ovo znači da ćeš ići da šetaš."
05:55
"Oh, this means you're coming to the luncheon."
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"Ovo znači da dolaziš na ručak."
05:57
"This means you're going to be wearing
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"Ovo znači da ćeš nositi
05:58
the pink ribbon and the pink t-shirt
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ružičastu traku i ružičastu majicu
06:01
and the headband and the earrings
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i traku za kosu i minđuše
06:03
and the bracelet and the panties."
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i narukvicu i gaćice."
06:06
Panties. No, seriously, google it.
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Gaćice. Ne, ozbiljno, izguglajte.
06:10
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
06:12
How is that raising awareness?
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Kako to podiže svest?
06:14
Only my husband should be seeing my panties.
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Samo moj muž treba da vidi moje gaćice.
06:16
(Laughter)
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(Smeh)
06:17
He's pretty aware of cancer already.
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On je već poprilično svestan raka.
06:22
It was at that point where I felt like, oh my God,
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Tog trenutka osećala sam se kao, moj bože,
06:25
this is just taking over my life.
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ovo preuzima moj život.
06:28
And that's when I told myself,
claim your experience.
claim your experience.
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I tada sam rekla sebi,
iskoristi svoje iskustvo.
iskoristi svoje iskustvo.
06:33
Don't let it claim you.
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Ne daj da ono iskoristi tebe.
06:37
We all know that
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Svi znamo da je način
06:39
the way to cope with trauma, with loss,
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da se izborimo sa traumom, sa gubitkom,
06:43
with any life-changing experience,
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sa bilo kojim iskustvom koje menja život,
06:45
is to find meaning.
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da pronađemo svrhu.
06:48
But here's the thing:
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Ali ovako stoje stvari:
06:50
No one can tell us
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niko nam ne može reći
06:51
what our experience means.
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šta naše iskustvo znači.
06:54
We have to decide what it means.
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Mi treba da odlučimo šta ono znači.
06:58
And it doesn't have to be some gigantic,
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I ne mora biti neka gigantska
07:00
extroverted meaning.
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otvorena svrha.
07:02
We don't all have to start a foundation
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Ne moramo svi da začnemo temelje fondacije
07:04
or an organization or write a book
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ili organizacije ili napišemo knjigu,
07:06
or make a documentary.
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ili napravimo dokumentarac.
07:09
Meaning can be quiet
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Svrha može biti tiha
07:12
and introverted.
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i zatvorena.
07:14
Maybe we make one small decision about our lives
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Možda možemo da donesemo
malu odluku o svojim životima
malu odluku o svojim životima
07:20
that can bring about big change.
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koja može dovesti do velike promene.
07:25
Many years ago, I had a patient,
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Pre mnogo godina, imala sam pacijenta,
07:27
just a wonderful young man
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predivnog mladog čoveka
07:29
who was loved by the staff,
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kog je osoblje volelo,
07:32
and so it was something of a shock to us to realize
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pa je za nas u neku ruku bio šok
kada smo shvatili
kada smo shvatili
07:35
that he had no friends.
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da on nema prijatelje.
07:39
He lived by himself,
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Živeo je sam,
07:41
he would come in for chemotherapy by himself,
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dolazio bi sam na hemoterapiju,
07:45
he would receive his treatment,
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primio terapiju,
07:47
and then he'd walk home alone.
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i sam odšetao kući.
07:51
And I even asked him. I said, "Hey,
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I čak sam ga i pitala. Rekla sam:
07:52
how come you never bring a friend with you?"
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"Kako to da nikada ne povedeš prijatelja?"
07:55
And he said, "I don't really have any friends."
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I rekao je: "Zapravo i nemam prijatelje."
08:00
But he had tons of friends on the infusion floor.
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Ali imao ih je gomilu
na odeljenju za infuziju.
na odeljenju za infuziju.
08:02
We all loved him, and people were going
in and out of his room all the time.
in and out of his room all the time.
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Svi smo ga voleli, i ljudi su ulazili
i izlazili iz njegove sobe sve vreme.
i izlazili iz njegove sobe sve vreme.
08:07
So at his last chemo,
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I tako smo mu na poslednjoj hemoterapiji
08:10
we sang him the song
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pevali pesmu,
08:11
and we put the crown on his
head and we blew the bubbles,
head and we blew the bubbles,
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stavili krunu na glavu i duvali balone,
08:14
and then I asked him, I said,
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i onda sam ga pitala, rekla sam:
08:16
"So what are you going to do now?"
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"Šta ćeš sada da radiš?"
08:20
And he answered,
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I odgovorio je:
08:22
"Make friends."
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"Da nađem prijatelje."
08:24
And he did.
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I jeste.
08:26
He started volunteering
and he made friends there,
and he made friends there,
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Počeo je da volontira
i tamo stekao prijatelje,
i tamo stekao prijatelje,
08:30
and he began going to a church
and he made friends there,
and he made friends there,
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i počeo je da odlazi u crkvu
i tamo stekao prijatelje,
i tamo stekao prijatelje,
08:32
and at Christmas he invited my husband
and me to a party in his apartment,
and me to a party in his apartment,
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i za Božić je pozvao mog muža i mene
na žurku u njegovom stanu,
na žurku u njegovom stanu,
08:35
and the place was filled with his friends.
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i mesto je bilo ispunjeno
njegovim prijateljima.
njegovim prijateljima.
08:40
Claim your experience.
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Iskoristi svoje iskustvo.
08:43
Don't let it claim you.
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Ne dozvoli da ono iskoristi tebe.
08:44
He decided that the meaning of his experience
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Odlučio je da je smisao njegovog iskustva
08:49
was to know the joy of friendship,
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da upozna radost prijateljstva,
08:53
and then learn to make friends.
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i onda nauči da stekne prijatelje.
08:58
So what about you?
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A šta je sa tobom?
09:01
How are you going to find meaning
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Kako ćeš ti naći smisao
09:04
in your crappy experience?
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u svom odvratnom iskustvu?
09:06
It could be a recent one,
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Može biti nedavno,
09:08
or it could be one that you've been carrying around
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ili ono koje nosiš sa sobom
09:10
for a really long time.
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već jako dugo vremena.
09:14
It's never too late to change what it means,
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Nikada nije kasno
da se promeni njegovo značenje,
da se promeni njegovo značenje,
09:19
because meaning is dynamic.
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jer je značenje dinamično.
09:21
What it means today
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Ono što znači danas
09:22
may not be what it means a year from now,
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možda neće biti isto za godinu dana,
09:24
or 10 years from now.
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ili za 10 godina.
09:27
It's never too late to become someone other
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Nikada nije kasno da postanete nešto
09:30
than simply a survivor.
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više od običnog preživelog.
09:33
Hear how static that word sounds?
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Čujete li kako statično zvuči ta reč?
09:37
Survivor.
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Preživeli.
09:39
No movement, no growth.
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Nema pokreta, nema rasta.
09:43
Claim your experience.
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Iskoristi svoje iskustvo.
09:45
Don't let it claim you, because if you do,
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Ne dozvoli da ono iskoristi tebe,
jer ako dozvoliš,
jer ako dozvoliš,
09:48
I believe you will become trapped,
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verujem da ćeš zaglaviti,
09:51
you will not grow, you will not evolve.
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nećeš rasti, nećeš se razviti.
09:57
But of course, sometimes it's not outside pressures
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Naravno, nekada nisu spoljašnji pritisci
10:00
that cause us to take on that identity of survivor.
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ti koji utiču da preuzmemo
identitet onoga koji je preživeo.
identitet onoga koji je preživeo.
10:04
Sometimes we just like the perks.
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Nekada nam se samo sviđaju povlastice.
10:08
Sometimes there's a payoff.
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Ponekad postoji isplata.
10:12
But then we get stuck.
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Ali onda se zaglavimo.
10:16
Now, one of the first things I learned
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Jedna od prvih stvari koje sam naučila
10:17
as a chaplain intern was the three C's
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kao kapelanica stažista
bila su tri pravila
bila su tri pravila
10:22
of the chaplain's job:
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kapelanskog posla:
uteši, razjasni i,
kada je potrebno, suoči se
kada je potrebno, suoči se
10:24
Comfort, clarify and, when necessary, confront
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10:31
or challenge.
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ili izazovi.
10:33
Now, we all pretty much love the comforting
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Svi uglavnom volimo utehu
10:35
and the clarifying.
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i razjašnjavanje.
10:37
The confronting, not so much.
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Suočavanje, ne baš.
10:42
One of the other things that I loved
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Jedna od stvari koje sam volela
10:44
about being a chaplain was
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u vezi sa poslom kapelanice
10:46
seeing patients a year, or even several years
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bilo je viđanje pacijenata godinu,
ili nekoliko godina
ili nekoliko godina
10:51
after their treatment, because
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posle njihovog lečenja,
zato što je bilo zaista kul
videti kako su se promenili
videti kako su se promenili
10:53
it was just really cool to see
how they had changed
how they had changed
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10:55
and how their lives had evolved
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i kako su se njihovi životi razvili
10:57
and what had happened to them.
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i šta im se dogodilo.
10:59
So I was thrilled one day
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Bila sam oduševljena jednog dana
11:02
to get a page down into the lobby of the clinic
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da vidim novu stranu priče u holu klinike
11:04
from a patient who I had seen the year before,
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pacijentkinje
koju sam videla godinu dana pre,
koju sam videla godinu dana pre,
11:08
and she was there with her two adult daughters,
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bila je tu sa svoje dve odrasle ćerke,
11:10
who I also knew, for her one year follow-up exam.
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koje sam takođe znala,
zbog svog testa praćenja na godinu dana.
zbog svog testa praćenja na godinu dana.
11:15
So I got down to the lobby, and they were ecstatic
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Sišla sam u hol, i bile su veoma ushićene
11:18
because she had just gotten
all of her test results back
all of her test results back
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jer je upravo dobila sve rezultate testa
11:20
and she was NED: No Evidence of Disease.
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i bila je NPB: nema pokazatelja bolesti.
11:27
Which I used to think meant Not Entirely Dead.
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O čemu sam pre mislila kao:
Nije Potpuno Beživotan.
Nije Potpuno Beživotan.
11:31
So they were ecstatic, we sat down to visit,
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Bile su ushićene, sele smo u posetu,
11:37
and it was so weird, because
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i bilo je veoma čudno jer
11:40
within two minutes, she
started retelling me the story
started retelling me the story
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je u roku od dva minuta
počela da mi prepričava priču
počela da mi prepričava priču
11:44
of her diagnosis and her
surgery and her chemo,
surgery and her chemo,
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o svojoj dijagnozi, i operaciji,
i hemoterapiji,
i hemoterapiji,
11:48
even though, as her chaplain,
I saw her every week,
I saw her every week,
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iako sam je, kao njena kapelanica,
viđala svake nedelje,
viđala svake nedelje,
11:52
and so I knew this story.
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te sam znala njenu priču.
11:54
And she was using words like suffering,
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I koristila je reči poput patnja,
11:57
agony, struggle.
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mučenje, borba.
12:01
And she ended her story with,
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Završila je svoju priču sa:
12:04
"I felt crucified."
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"Osećala sam se razapetom."
12:09
And at that point, her two
daughters got up and said,
daughters got up and said,
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Tada su njene ćerke ustale i rekle:
12:12
"We're going to go get coffee."
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"Idemo da uzmemo kafu."
12:15
And they left.
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I otišle su.
12:19
Tell me three things about
yourself before the next stop.
yourself before the next stop.
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Recite mi tri stvari o sebi
pre sledeće stanice.
pre sledeće stanice.
12:21
People were leaving the bus before she even got
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Ljudi su napuštali autobus
pre nego što je stigla
pre nego što je stigla
12:24
to number two or number three.
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do broja dva ili broja tri.
12:30
So I handed her a tissue,
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Pa sam joj dodala maramicu,
12:33
and I gave her a hug,
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i zagrlila je,
12:36
and then, because I really cared for this woman,
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i onda, zato što sam brinula za tu ženu,
12:40
I said,
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rekla sam:
12:42
"Get down off your cross."
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"Siđi sa svog krsta."
12:44
And she said, "What?"
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I ona je rekla: "Šta?"
12:49
And I repeated, "Get down off your cross."
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I ponovila sam: "Siđi sa svog krsta."
12:54
And to her credit, she could
talk about her reasons
talk about her reasons
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U njenu odbranu,
mogla je da govori o svojim razlozima
mogla je da govori o svojim razlozima
12:59
for embracing and then clinging to this identity.
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za prihvatanje i držanje ovog identiteta.
13:04
It got her a lot of attention.
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Doneo joj je mnogo pažnje.
13:06
People were taking care of her for a change.
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Ljudi su, za promenu, brinuli o njoj.
13:09
But now, it was having the opposite effect.
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Ali sada, to je imalo suprotan efekat.
13:13
It was pushing people away.
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Odbijalo je ljude.
13:15
People kept leaving to get coffee.
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Ljudi su počeli da odlaze radi kafe.
13:19
She felt crucified by her experience,
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Osećala se razapetom svojim iskustvom,
13:23
but she didn't want to let that crucified self die.
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ali nije htela da dozvoli
da taj razapeti deo nje umre.
da taj razapeti deo nje umre.
13:29
Now, perhaps you are thinking
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Sada, možda mislite
13:32
I was a little harsh with her,
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da sam bila prestroga prema njoj,
13:35
so I must tell you that
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pa vam moram reći
13:37
I was speaking out of my own experience.
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da sam govorila iz sopstvenog iskustva.
13:41
Many, many years before,
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Mnogo, mnogo godina ranije,
13:43
I had been fired from a job that I loved,
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bila sam otpuštena
sa posla koji sam volela,
sa posla koji sam volela,
13:47
and I would not stop talking about my innocence
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i nisam prestajala
da govorim o svojoj nevinosti,
da govorim o svojoj nevinosti,
13:50
and the injustice and the betrayal and the deceipt,
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nepravdi, izdaji i obmani,
13:54
until finally, just like this woman,
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dok konačno, kao kod ove žene,
13:55
people were walking away from me,
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ljudi nisu počeli da odlaze od mene,
13:57
until I finally realized
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dok nisam shvatila
14:00
I wasn't just processing my feelings,
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da nisam samo obrađivala svoja osećanja,
14:04
I was feeding them.
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hranila sam ih.
14:07
I didn't want to let that crucified self die.
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Nisam htela da razapeto ja umre.
14:11
But we all know that with any resurrection story,
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Ali svi znamo
da pre svake priče uskrsnuća,
da pre svake priče uskrsnuća,
14:16
you have to die first.
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moramo prvo da umremo.
14:19
The Christian story,
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Hrišćanska priča,
14:21
Jesus was dead a whole day in the tomb
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Isus je bio mrtav celog dana u grobnici,
pre nego što je uskrsnuo.
14:24
before he was resurrected.
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14:27
And I believe that for us,
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I verujem da za nas,
14:28
being in the tomb
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biti u grobnici
14:30
means doing our own deep inner work
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znači raditi sopstvenu
duboku unutrašnju negu
duboku unutrašnju negu
14:34
around our wounds
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oko naših rana
14:37
and allowing ourselves to be healed.
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i dozvoljavanje da budemo izlečeni.
14:42
We have to let that crucified self die
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Moramo da dozvolimo da razapeti ja umre
14:45
so that a new self, a truer self,
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kako bi novo ja, iliti pravo ja,
14:48
is born.
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bilo rođeno.
14:51
We have to let that old story go
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Moramo da pustimo da stara priča ode,
14:54
so that a new story, a truer story,
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kako bi nova priča, stvarnija priča,
14:58
can be told.
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mogla biti ispričana.
15:01
Claim your experience. Don't let it claim you.
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Iskoristi svoje iskustvo.
Ne dozvoli da ono iskoristi tebe.
Ne dozvoli da ono iskoristi tebe.
15:06
What if there were no survivors,
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Šta bi bilo
da nema onih koji preživljavaju,
da nema onih koji preživljavaju,
15:09
meaning, what if people decided
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znači, šta kada bi ljudi odlučili
15:12
to just claim their trauma as an experience
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da samo iskoriste svoju traumu
kao iskustvo
kao iskustvo
15:15
instead of taking it on as an identity?
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umesto da je prigrlimo kao identitet?
15:19
Maybe it would be the end of being
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2002
Možda bi to bio kraj
15:21
trapped in our wounds
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zarobljeništva u našim ranama
15:23
and the beginning of amazing
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i početak zapanjujućeg
15:27
self-exploration and discovery and growth.
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istraživanja sebe, otkrivanja i rasta.
15:31
Maybe it would be the start of defining ourselves
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Možda bi to bio početak definisanja sebe
15:35
by who we have become
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po tome ko smo postali
15:38
and who we are becoming.
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i šta postajemo.
15:42
So perhaps survivor was not
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Onda možda "preživeli" ne bi bila
15:48
one of the three things that you would tell me.
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jedna od tri stvari koje biste mi rekli.
15:53
No matter.
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Bez obzira.
15:54
I just want you all to know that
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Samo želim da znate
15:57
I am really glad that we are on this bus together,
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da mi je veoma drago
što smo zajedno u ovom autobusu,
što smo zajedno u ovom autobusu,
16:01
and this is my stop.
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i da je ovo moja stanica.
16:05
(Applause)
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(Aplauz)
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Debra Jarvis - Chaplain + authorDebra Jarvis isn't your typical hospital chaplain. With wry wit, she aims to comfort patients -- and also challenge them.
Why you should listen
For writer, ordained minister and hospital chaplain Debra Jarvis, humor is a powerful balm. She is not afraid to be funny even when doing very serious work with the sick and dying as a hospice chaplain, a pastoral consultant for volunteer groups caring for people with AIDS and MS, and a staff chaplain at the Seattle Cancer Care Alliance. Debra is the author of It’s Not About the Hair: And Other Certainties of Life & Cancer and numerous other books. Currently on sabbatical in Geneva, Debra’s last job was as writer-in-residence for the University Congregational United Church of Christ in Seattle. In her free time, Debra accompanies her Cairn terrier Max in his therapy dog work.
Debra Jarvis | Speaker | TED.com