Beth Malone: How my dad's dementia changed my idea of death (and life)
בת' מאלון: איך השיטיון של אבי שינה את דעתי על המוות (ועל החיים)
TED Resident Beth Malone brings bold art to public spaces across the US, encouraging artists to have a sense of humor, to be vulnerable and take creative risks. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
"שמעי,
שפוגעת בבני 50 או 60
that hits people in their 50s or 60s.
someone's personality,
ואפילו אלים.
מצבו החמיר מאד,
with his own hands.
with the falsetto singing voice
שנהג לשיר בקול גבוה
עם השגחה מסביב לשעון
for round-the-clock care
and I made the mistake
ושיעורי אמנות בערב
and afternoon art classes
everybody with cutlery.
the curtains off the wall,
to throw plants out the window.
the old ladies out of their wheelchairs."
את כל הזקנות מכסאות הגלגלים שלהן."
a bunch of state-run facilities
מיוחד לאנשים עם שיטיון.
specifically for people with dementia.
לבוש בחליפת פיג'מה--
on the ground wearing a onesie --
that zip in the back.
as he yanked at it,
בעודו נאבק בה
הטנדר הישן שלו--
coming out of the pit of my belly.
was worth living anymore.
חיים שכאלה.
to prioritize productivity.
אליל, במקרה הזה--
an Adonis in this case --
כפי שאנו מצפים ממנו להיות,
in the way we expect him to be,
was that my dad was being tortured
the vessel of that torture.
מהגוף הזה.
אני אהרוג את אבא.
I'm going to kill Dad.
to live the rest of your life
איפה לקנות הרואין."
how to buy heroin."
אנו מדברות הרבה על מותו.
about his death a lot.
איך זה יהיה?
כשכולנו היינו בריאים.
about death when we were all healthy.
הכי טוב שלכם?
מהגוף ההוא.
and then a support group,
כשהם חושבים על יקיריהם.
when they're worried about loved ones.
שזה בסדר ללכת כשאתה מוכן.
and it's OK to go when you're ready.
בחליפת הפיג'מה.
on the ground in the onesie.
הוא בהה ברצפה.
and just kind of looking at the ground.
על שום דבר במיוחד,
about nothing in particular,
הוא התעטש בגלל הג'ינג'ר אייל.
he sneezed from the ginger ale.
it jerked his body upright,
שוב ושוב ושוב
and sparking, over and over and over again
and he was looking at me,
אתה יכול.
"גם אני מתגעגע אלייך."
because I'm just a mess.
הוא נראה די בסדר.
he seemed kind of OK.
על שרוחו עדיין מחוברת לגופו.
was still attached to his body.
לעזור לו ולי
as father and daughter.
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Beth Malone - Social entrepreneur, artistTED Resident Beth Malone brings bold art to public spaces across the US, encouraging artists to have a sense of humor, to be vulnerable and take creative risks.
Why you should listen
Beth Malone is executive director and partner at Dashboard US, an award-winning, experimental creative agency. Dashboard has presented exhibitions and special artist projects in cities around the country including New York, New Orleans, Atlanta, and Detroit. Dashboard has commissioned new, nontraditional works from over 200 artists.
Malone encourages artists to have a sense of humor, to be vulnerable and take creative risks, a practice she employed for herself when processing illness, caretaking and death. In 2014, she and her dad were sitting on a couch in a psychiatric hospital in Atlanta, GA. He looked at her and said, "I’m gonna be lost after this. After this, I’m gonna be gone." In August 2017, her dad passed away from frontotemporal lobe dementia -- just two months after she gave her TED Talk. It was a good death.
Beth Malone | Speaker | TED.com