TED2006
Helen Fisher: Why we love, why we cheat
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Anthropologist Helen Fisher takes on a tricky topic – love – and explains its evolution, its biochemical foundations and its social importance. She closes with a warning about the potential disaster inherent in antidepressant abuse.
Helen Fisher - Anthropologist, expert on love
Anthropologist Helen Fisher studies gender differences and the evolution of human emotions. She’s best known as an expert on romantic love. Full bio
Anthropologist Helen Fisher studies gender differences and the evolution of human emotions. She’s best known as an expert on romantic love. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:25
I'd like to talk today
about the two biggest social trends
about the two biggest social trends
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in the coming century,
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and perhaps in the next 10,000 years.
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But I want to start
with my work on romantic love,
with my work on romantic love,
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because that's my most recent work.
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What I and my colleagues did was put
32 people, who were madly in love,
32 people, who were madly in love,
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into a functional MRI brain scanner.
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17 who were madly in love
and their love was accepted;
and their love was accepted;
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and 15 who were madly in love
and they had just been dumped.
and they had just been dumped.
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And so I want to tell you
about that first,
about that first,
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and then go on into where
I think love is going.
I think love is going.
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01:01
(Laughter)
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"What 'tis to love?" Shakespeare said.
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I think our ancestors --
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I think human beings have been
wondering about this question
wondering about this question
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since they sat around their campfires
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or lay and watched
the stars a million years ago.
the stars a million years ago.
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I started out by trying to figure out
what romantic love was
what romantic love was
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by looking at the last 45 years
of the psychological research
of the psychological research
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and as it turns out,
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there's a very specific group of things
that happen when you fall in love.
that happen when you fall in love.
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The first thing that happens is,
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a person begins to take on
what I call, "special meaning."
what I call, "special meaning."
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As a truck driver once said to me,
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"The world had a new center,
and that center was Mary Anne."
and that center was Mary Anne."
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George Bernard Shaw said it differently.
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"Love consists of overestimating
the differences
the differences
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between one woman and another."
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And indeed, that's what we do.
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(Laughter)
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And then you just focus on this person.
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You can list what you
don't like about them,
don't like about them,
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but then you sweep that aside
and focus on what you do.
and focus on what you do.
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As Chaucer said, "Love is blind."
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In trying to understand romantic love,
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I decided I would read poetry
from all over the world,
from all over the world,
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and I just want to give
you one very short poem
you one very short poem
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from eighth-century China,
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because it's an almost perfect example
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of a man who is focused totally
on a particular woman.
on a particular woman.
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It's a little bit like when you are
madly in love with somebody
madly in love with somebody
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and you walk into a parking lot --
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their car is different
from every other car in the parking lot.
from every other car in the parking lot.
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Their wine glass at dinner
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is different from every other wine glass
at the dinner party.
at the dinner party.
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And in this case, a man got hooked
on a bamboo sleeping mat.
on a bamboo sleeping mat.
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And it goes like this.
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It's by a guy called Yuan Zhen.
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"I cannot bear to put away
the bamboo sleeping mat.
the bamboo sleeping mat.
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The night I brought you home,
I watched you roll it out."
I watched you roll it out."
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He became hooked on a sleeping mat,
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probably because of elevated activity
of dopamine in his brain,
of dopamine in his brain,
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just like with you and me.
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But anyway, not only does this person
take on special meaning,
take on special meaning,
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you focus your attention on them.
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You aggrandize them.
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But you have intense energy.
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As one Polynesian said,
"I felt like jumping in the sky."
"I felt like jumping in the sky."
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You're up all night.
You're walking till dawn.
You're walking till dawn.
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You feel intense elation
when things are going well;
when things are going well;
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mood swings into horrible despair
when things are going poorly.
when things are going poorly.
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Real dependence on this person.
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As one businessman in New York said to me,
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"Anything she liked, I liked."
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Simple. Romantic love is very simple.
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You become extremely sexually possessive.
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You know, if you're just sleeping
with somebody casually,
with somebody casually,
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you don't really care
if they're sleeping with somebody else.
if they're sleeping with somebody else.
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But the moment you fall in love,
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you become extremely
sexually possessive of them.
sexually possessive of them.
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I think there's a Darwinian
purpose to this.
purpose to this.
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The whole point of this
is to pull two people together
is to pull two people together
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strongly enough to begin
to rear babies as a team.
to rear babies as a team.
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But the main characteristics
of romantic love are craving:
of romantic love are craving:
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an intense craving
to be with a particular person,
to be with a particular person,
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not just sexually, but emotionally.
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It would be nice to go to bed with them,
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but you want them to call you
on the telephone, to invite you out, etc.,
on the telephone, to invite you out, etc.,
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to tell you that they love you.
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The other main characteristic
is motivation.
is motivation.
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The motor in the brain begins to crank,
and you want this person.
and you want this person.
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And last but not least,
it is an obsession.
it is an obsession.
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Before I put these people
in the MRI machine,
in the MRI machine,
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I would ask them all kinds of questions.
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But my most important question
was always the same.
was always the same.
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It was: "What percentage of the day
and night do you think about this person?"
and night do you think about this person?"
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And indeed, they would say,
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"All day. All night.
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I can never stop thinking
about him or her."
about him or her."
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And then, the very last question --
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I would always have to work
myself up to this question,
myself up to this question,
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because I'm not a psychologist.
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I don't work with people
in any kind of traumatic situation.
in any kind of traumatic situation.
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My final question was always the same.
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I would say,
"Would you die for him or her?"
"Would you die for him or her?"
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And, indeed, these people would say "Yes!"
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as if I had asked them to pass the salt.
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I was just staggered by it.
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So we scanned their brains,
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looking at a photograph
of their sweetheart
of their sweetheart
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and looking at a neutral photograph,
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with a distraction task in between.
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So we could look at the same brain
when it was in that heightened state
when it was in that heightened state
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and when it was in a resting state.
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And we found activity
in a lot of brain regions.
in a lot of brain regions.
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In fact, one of the most important
was a brain region
was a brain region
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that becomes active
when you feel the rush of cocaine.
when you feel the rush of cocaine.
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And indeed, that's exactly what happens.
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I began to realize that romantic love
is not an emotion.
is not an emotion.
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In fact, I had always thought
it was a series of emotions,
it was a series of emotions,
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from very high to very low.
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But actually, it's a drive.
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It comes from the motor of the mind,
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the wanting part of the mind,
the craving part of the mind.
the craving part of the mind.
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The kind of part of the mind
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when you're reaching
for that piece of chocolate,
for that piece of chocolate,
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when you want to win
that promotion at work.
that promotion at work.
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The motor of the brain.
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It's a drive.
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And in fact, I think it's more powerful
than the sex drive.
than the sex drive.
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You know, if you ask somebody
to go to bed with you,
to go to bed with you,
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and they say, "No, thank you,"
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you certainly don't kill yourself
or slip into a clinical depression.
or slip into a clinical depression.
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But certainly, around the world,
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people who are rejected
in love will kill for it.
in love will kill for it.
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People live for love.
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They kill for love.
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They die for love.
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They have songs, poems, novels,
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sculptures, paintings, myths, legends.
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In over 175 societies,
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people have left their evidence
of this powerful brain system.
of this powerful brain system.
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I have come to think
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it's one of the most powerful
brain systems on Earth
brain systems on Earth
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for both great joy and great sorrow.
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And I've also come to think
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that it's one of three
basically different brain systems
basically different brain systems
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that evolved from mating and reproduction.
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One is the sex drive:
the craving for sexual gratification.
the craving for sexual gratification.
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W.H. Auden called it
an "intolerable neural itch,"
an "intolerable neural itch,"
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and indeed, that's what it is.
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It keeps bothering you
a little bit, like being hungry.
a little bit, like being hungry.
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The second of these three brain
systems is romantic love:
systems is romantic love:
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that elation, obsession of early love.
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And the third brain system is attachment:
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that sense of calm and security
you can feel for a long-term partner.
you can feel for a long-term partner.
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And I think that the sex drive
evolved to get you out there,
evolved to get you out there,
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looking for a whole range of partners.
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You can feel it when you're just
driving along in your car.
driving along in your car.
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It can be focused on nobody.
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I think romantic love evolved
to enable you to focus your mating energy
to enable you to focus your mating energy
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on just one individual at a time,
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thereby conserving mating time and energy.
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And I think that attachment,
the third brain system,
the third brain system,
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evolved to enable you to tolerate
this human being
this human being
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at least long enough to raise
a child together as a team.
a child together as a team.
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So with that preamble,
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I want to go into discussing
the two most profound social trends.
the two most profound social trends.
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One of the last 10,000 years
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and the other,
certainly of the last 25 years,
certainly of the last 25 years,
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that are going to have an impact
on these three different brain systems:
on these three different brain systems:
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lust, romantic love
and deep attachment to a partner.
and deep attachment to a partner.
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The first is women working,
moving into the workforce.
moving into the workforce.
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I've looked at 130 societies
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through the demographic yearbooks
of the United Nations.
of the United Nations.
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Everywhere in the world,
129 out of 130 of them,
129 out of 130 of them,
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women are not only moving
into the job market --
into the job market --
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sometimes very, very slowly,
but they are moving into the job market --
but they are moving into the job market --
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and they are very slowly closing
that gap between men and women
that gap between men and women
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in terms of economic power,
health and education.
health and education.
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It's very slow.
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For every trend on this planet,
there's a counter-trend.
there's a counter-trend.
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We all know of them, but nevertheless --
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the Arabs say, "The dogs may bark,
but the caravan moves on."
but the caravan moves on."
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And, indeed, that caravan is moving on.
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Women are moving back into the job market.
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And I say back into the job market,
because this is not new.
because this is not new.
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For millions of years,
on the grasslands of Africa,
on the grasslands of Africa,
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women commuted to work
to gather their vegetables.
to gather their vegetables.
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They came home with 60 to 80 percent
of the evening meal.
of the evening meal.
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The double income family was the standard.
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And women were regarded
as just as economically,
as just as economically,
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socially and sexually powerful as men.
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In short, we're really
moving forward to the past.
moving forward to the past.
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Then, women's worst
invention was the plow.
invention was the plow.
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With the beginning of plow agriculture,
men's roles became extremely powerful.
men's roles became extremely powerful.
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Women lost their ancient
jobs as collectors,
jobs as collectors,
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but then with the industrial revolution
and the post-industrial revolution
and the post-industrial revolution
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they're moving back into the job market.
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In short, they are acquiring the status
that they had a million years ago,
that they had a million years ago,
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10,000 years ago, 100,000 years ago.
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We are seeing now one
of the most remarkable traditions
of the most remarkable traditions
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in the history of the human animal.
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And it's going to have an impact.
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I generally give a whole lecture
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on the impact of women
on the business community.
on the business community.
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I'll say just a couple of things,
and then go on to sex and love.
and then go on to sex and love.
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There's a lot of gender differences;
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anybody who thinks men and women are alike
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simply never had a boy and a girl child.
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I don't know why they want to think
that men and women are alike.
that men and women are alike.
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There's much we have in common,
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but there's a whole lot
that we do not have in common.
that we do not have in common.
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We are -- in the words of Ted Hughes,
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"I think that we are like two feet.
We need each other to get ahead."
We need each other to get ahead."
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But we did not evolve
to have the same brain.
to have the same brain.
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And we're finding more and more
gender differences in the brain.
gender differences in the brain.
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I'll only just use a couple
and then move on to sex and love.
and then move on to sex and love.
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One of them is women's verbal ability.
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Women can talk.
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Women's ability to find the right word
rapidly, basic articulation
rapidly, basic articulation
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goes up in the middle
of the menstrual cycle,
of the menstrual cycle,
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when estrogen levels peak.
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But even at menstruation,
they're better than the average man.
they're better than the average man.
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Women can talk.
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They've been doing it for a million years;
words were women's tools.
words were women's tools.
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They held that baby
in front of their face,
in front of their face,
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cajoling it, reprimanding it,
educating it with words.
educating it with words.
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And, indeed, they're becoming
a very powerful force.
a very powerful force.
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Even in places like India and Japan,
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where women are not moving rapidly
into the regular job market,
into the regular job market,
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they're moving into journalism.
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And I think that the television
is like the global campfire.
is like the global campfire.
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We sit around it and it shapes our minds.
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Almost always, when I'm on TV,
the producer who calls me,
the producer who calls me,
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who negotiates what we're going to say,
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is a woman.
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In fact, Solzhenitsyn once said,
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"To have a great writer
is to have another government."
is to have another government."
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Today 54 percent of people
who are writers in America are women.
who are writers in America are women.
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It's one of many,
many characteristics that women have
many characteristics that women have
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that they will bring into the job market.
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They've got incredible people skills,
negotiating skills.
negotiating skills.
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They're highly imaginative.
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We now know the brain circuitry
of imagination, of long-term planning.
of imagination, of long-term planning.
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They tend to be web thinkers.
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12:17
Because the female parts
of the brain are better connected,
of the brain are better connected,
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12:20
they tend to collect more
pieces of data when they think,
pieces of data when they think,
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12:23
put them into more complex patterns,
see more options and outcomes.
see more options and outcomes.
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12:28
They tend to be contextual,
holistic thinkers,
holistic thinkers,
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12:32
what I call web thinkers.
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12:33
Men tend to -- and these are averages --
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12:35
tend to get rid of what they regard
as extraneous,
as extraneous,
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12:38
focus on what they do,
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12:39
and move in a more
step-by-step thinking pattern.
step-by-step thinking pattern.
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12:45
They're both perfectly good
ways of thinking.
ways of thinking.
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We need both of them to get ahead.
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12:50
In fact, there's many more
male geniuses in the world.
male geniuses in the world.
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12:53
And there's also many more
male idiots in the world.
male idiots in the world.
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12:56
(Laughter)
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When the male brain works well,
it works extremely well.
it works extremely well.
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13:01
And what I really think
that we're doing is,
that we're doing is,
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13:04
we're moving towards
a collaborative society,
a collaborative society,
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13:07
a society in which the talents
of both men and women
of both men and women
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13:09
are becoming understood
and valued and employed.
and valued and employed.
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13:13
But in fact, women moving
into the job market
into the job market
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13:16
is having a huge impact
on sex and romance and family life.
on sex and romance and family life.
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13:22
Foremost, women are starting
to express their sexuality.
to express their sexuality.
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13:27
I'm always astonished
when people come to me and say,
when people come to me and say,
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13:30
"Why is it that men are so adulterous?"
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13:32
"Why do you think
more men are adulterous than women?"
more men are adulterous than women?"
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13:35
"Well, men are more adulterous!"
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13:36
And I say, "Who do you think
these men are sleeping with?"
these men are sleeping with?"
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(Laughter)
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And -- basic math!
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13:42
Anyway.
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13:44
In the Western world,
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13:47
women start sooner at sex,
have more partners,
have more partners,
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13:50
express less remorse
for the partners that they do,
for the partners that they do,
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13:53
marry later, have fewer children,
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13:56
leave bad marriages
in order to get good ones.
in order to get good ones.
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13:59
We are seeing the rise
of female sexual expression.
of female sexual expression.
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14:03
And, indeed, once again we're moving
forward to the kind of sexual expression
forward to the kind of sexual expression
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14:08
that we probably saw on the grasslands
of Africa a million years ago,
of Africa a million years ago,
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14:11
because this is the kind
of sexual expression that we see
of sexual expression that we see
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14:14
in hunting and gathering societies today.
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14:17
We're also returning
to an ancient form of marriage equality.
to an ancient form of marriage equality.
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14:22
They're now saying that the 21st century
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14:26
is going to be the century of what
they call the "symmetrical marriage,"
they call the "symmetrical marriage,"
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14:30
or the "pure marriage,"
or the "companionate marriage."
or the "companionate marriage."
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14:36
This is a marriage between equals,
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14:39
moving forward to a pattern
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14:42
that is highly compatible
with the ancient human spirit.
with the ancient human spirit.
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14:46
We're also seeing a rise of romantic love.
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14:49
91 percent of American women
and 86 percent of American men
and 86 percent of American men
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14:53
would not marry somebody
who had every single quality
who had every single quality
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14:58
they were looking for in a partner,
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1816
15:00
if they were not in love with that person.
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15:03
People around the world,
in a study of 37 societies,
in a study of 37 societies,
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15:06
want to be in love
with the person that they marry.
with the person that they marry.
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15:10
Indeed, arranged marriages are
on their way off this braid of human life.
on their way off this braid of human life.
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15:20
I even think that marriages
might even become more stable
might even become more stable
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15:23
because of the second great world trend.
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15:27
The first one being women
moving into the job market,
moving into the job market,
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15:29
the second one being
the aging world population.
the aging world population.
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15:32
They're now saying that in America,
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15:35
that middle age should be regarded
as up to age 85.
as up to age 85.
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3651
15:39
Because in that highest
age category of 76 to 85,
age category of 76 to 85,
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4879
15:44
as much as 40 percent of people
have nothing really wrong with them.
have nothing really wrong with them.
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3431
15:47
So we're seeing there's a real
extension of middle age.
extension of middle age.
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15:51
For one of my books,
I looked at divorce data in 58 societies.
I looked at divorce data in 58 societies.
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5262
15:56
And as it turns out, the older you get,
the less likely you are to divorce.
the less likely you are to divorce.
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4231
16:01
So the divorce rate right now
is stable in America,
is stable in America,
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3601
16:05
and it's actually beginning to decline.
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16:07
It may decline some more.
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1602
16:11
I would even say that with Viagra,
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3999
16:15
estrogen replacement, hip replacements
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3815
16:19
and the incredibly interesting women
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954995
1981
16:21
-- women have never been
as interesting as they are now.
as interesting as they are now.
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3105
16:24
Not at any time on this planet
have women been so educated,
have women been so educated,
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3458
16:28
so interesting, so capable.
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1947
16:30
And so I honestly think that if there
really was ever a time in human evolution
really was ever a time in human evolution
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5379
16:36
when we have the opportunity to make
good marriages, that time is now.
good marriages, that time is now.
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3865
16:41
However, there's always kinds
of complications in this.
of complications in this.
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3201
16:44
These three brain systems
-- lust, romantic love and attachment --
-- lust, romantic love and attachment --
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4717
16:49
don't always go together.
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1354
16:50
They can go together, by the way.
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1699
16:52
That's why casual sex isn't so casual.
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1952
16:54
With orgasm you get a spike of dopamine.
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2269
16:56
Dopamine's associated with romantic love,
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16:58
and you can just
fall in love with somebody
fall in love with somebody
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2023
17:00
who you're just having casual sex with.
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1863
17:02
With orgasm, then you get a real rush
of oxytocin and vasopressin --
of oxytocin and vasopressin --
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3436
17:06
those are associated with attachment.
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2031
17:08
This is why you can feel such a sense
of cosmic union with somebody
of cosmic union with somebody
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3959
17:12
after you've made love to them.
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1007404
1849
17:14
But these three brain systems:
lust, romantic love and attachment,
lust, romantic love and attachment,
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4699
17:18
aren't always connected to each other.
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2481
17:21
You can feel deep attachment
to a long-term partner
to a long-term partner
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17:25
while you feel intense
romantic love for somebody else,
romantic love for somebody else,
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4092
17:29
while you feel the sex drive for people
unrelated to these other partners.
unrelated to these other partners.
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5453
17:35
In short, we're capable of loving
more than one person at a time.
more than one person at a time.
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5029
17:40
In fact, you can lie in bed at night
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1035714
1992
17:42
and swing from deep feelings
of attachment for one person
of attachment for one person
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3246
17:45
to deep feelings
of romantic love for somebody else.
of romantic love for somebody else.
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1041000
3432
17:49
It's as if there's a committee meeting
going on in your head
going on in your head
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1044456
2881
17:52
as you are trying to decide what to do.
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3127
17:55
So I don't think, honestly,
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1635
17:56
we're an animal
that was built to be happy;
that was built to be happy;
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2015
17:59
we are an animal
that was built to reproduce.
that was built to reproduce.
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2268
18:01
I think the happiness we find, we make.
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2935
18:04
And I think, however,
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18:07
we can make good relationships
with each other.
with each other.
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18:10
So I want to conclude with two things.
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18:12
I want to conclude with a worry,
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18:15
and with a wonderful story.
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2929
18:19
The worry is about antidepressants.
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2689
18:23
Over 100 million prescriptions
of antidepressants
of antidepressants
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1078631
5132
18:28
are written every year
in the United States.
in the United States.
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2821
18:31
And these drugs are going generic.
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2565
18:34
They are seeping around the world.
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1089689
2483
18:37
I know one girl who's been
on these antidepressants,
on these antidepressants,
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1092743
5233
18:42
SSRIs, serotonin-enhancing
antidepressants -- since she was 13.
antidepressants -- since she was 13.
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3976
18:46
She's 23. She's been on them
ever since she was 13.
ever since she was 13.
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2976
18:49
I've got nothing against people
who take them short term,
who take them short term,
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3516
18:53
when they're going
through something horrible.
through something horrible.
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2223
18:55
They want to commit suicide
or kill somebody else.
or kill somebody else.
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2355
18:57
I would recommend it.
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1113166
1068
18:59
But more and more people
in the United States
in the United States
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2459
19:01
are taking them long term.
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1116741
2384
19:03
And indeed, what these drugs do
is raise levels of serotonin.
is raise levels of serotonin.
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1119149
5365
19:09
And by raising levels of serotonin,
you suppress the dopamine circuit.
you suppress the dopamine circuit.
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1124974
4821
19:14
Everybody knows that.
362
1129819
1562
19:16
Dopamine is associated with romantic love.
363
1131944
2895
19:21
Not only do they suppress
the dopamine circuit,
the dopamine circuit,
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3150
19:24
but they kill the sex drive.
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1867
19:27
And when you kill the sex drive,
you kill orgasm.
you kill orgasm.
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3824
19:30
And when you kill orgasm,
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1146164
1191
19:32
you kill that flood of drugs
associated with attachment.
associated with attachment.
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3867
19:36
The things are connected in the brain.
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2264
19:38
And when you tamper with one brain system,
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2656
19:41
you're going to tamper with another.
371
1156680
1945
19:43
I'm just simply saying that a world
without love is a deadly place.
without love is a deadly place.
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4754
19:49
So now --
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1002
19:50
(Applause)
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4212
19:54
Thank you.
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19:56
I want to end with a story.
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1485
19:58
And then, just a comment.
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1300
20:01
I've been studying romantic love
and sex and attachment for 30 years.
and sex and attachment for 30 years.
378
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4779
20:08
I'm an identical twin;
I am interested in why we're all alike.
I am interested in why we're all alike.
379
1183774
3516
20:12
Why you and I are alike,
why the Iraqis and the Japanese
why the Iraqis and the Japanese
380
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3051
20:15
and the Australian Aborigines
and the people of the Amazon River
and the people of the Amazon River
381
1191000
3000
20:18
are all alike.
382
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1000
20:20
And about a year ago,
383
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2309
20:22
an Internet dating service,
Match.com, came to me
Match.com, came to me
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1198110
2985
20:25
and asked me if I would design
a new dating site for them.
a new dating site for them.
385
1201119
3652
20:29
I said, "I don't know anything
about personality. You know?
about personality. You know?
386
1204795
2802
20:32
I don't know. Do you think
you've got the right person?"
you've got the right person?"
387
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2720
20:35
They said, "Yes."
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1210365
1040
20:36
It got me thinking
about why it is that you fall in love
about why it is that you fall in love
389
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3023
20:39
with one person rather than another.
390
1214476
1732
20:41
That's my current project;
it will be my next book.
it will be my next book.
391
1216232
3443
20:45
There's all kinds of reasons
392
1220262
1539
20:46
that you fall in love
with one person rather than another.
with one person rather than another.
393
1221825
2753
20:49
Timing is important.
Proximity is important.
Proximity is important.
394
1224602
3286
20:52
Mystery is important.
395
1227912
1380
20:54
You fall in love with somebody
who's somewhat mysterious,
who's somewhat mysterious,
396
1229316
2729
20:56
in part because mystery
elevates dopamine in the brain,
elevates dopamine in the brain,
397
1232069
2678
20:59
probably pushes you
over that threshold to fall in love.
over that threshold to fall in love.
398
1234771
2766
21:02
You fall in love with somebody
399
1237561
1429
21:03
who fits within
what I call your "love map,"
what I call your "love map,"
400
1239014
2095
21:05
an unconscious list of traits
401
1241133
2147
21:08
that you build in childhood
as you grow up.
as you grow up.
402
1243304
2314
21:10
And I also think
that you gravitate to certain people,
that you gravitate to certain people,
403
1245642
3042
21:13
actually, with somewhat
complementary brain systems.
complementary brain systems.
404
1248708
3268
21:16
And that's what I'm now
contributing to this.
contributing to this.
405
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2287
21:19
But I want to tell you
a story, to illustrate.
a story, to illustrate.
406
1254311
3665
21:22
I've been carrying on here
about the biology of love.
about the biology of love.
407
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2976
21:26
I wanted to show you a little bit
about the culture of it, too,
about the culture of it, too,
408
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3687
21:30
the magic of it.
409
1265420
1167
21:32
It's a story that was told to me
410
1268000
3349
21:36
by somebody who had
heard it just from one --
heard it just from one --
411
1271373
2461
21:38
probably a true story.
412
1273858
1118
21:41
It was a graduate student --
I'm at Rutgers and my two colleagues --
I'm at Rutgers and my two colleagues --
413
1276508
3468
21:44
Art Aron is at SUNY Stony Brook.
414
1280000
1976
21:46
That's where we put our people
in the MRI machine.
in the MRI machine.
415
1282000
2371
21:49
And this graduate student was madly
in love with another graduate student,
in love with another graduate student,
416
1285000
4563
21:54
and she was not in love with him.
417
1289587
2373
21:58
And they were
all at a conference in Beijing.
all at a conference in Beijing.
418
1293206
2255
22:01
And he knew from our work
419
1296485
3034
22:04
that if you go and do something
very novel with somebody,
very novel with somebody,
420
1299543
4408
22:08
you can drive up
the dopamine in the brain,
the dopamine in the brain,
421
1303975
2001
22:10
and perhaps trigger this brain
system for romantic love.
system for romantic love.
422
1306000
3693
22:14
(Laughter)
423
1309717
2157
22:16
So he decided he'd put science to work.
424
1311898
3886
22:21
And he invited this girl to go off
on a rickshaw ride with him.
on a rickshaw ride with him.
425
1316624
3334
22:25
And sure enough -- I've never been in one,
426
1320809
2069
22:27
but apparently they go
all around the buses and the trucks
all around the buses and the trucks
427
1322902
2738
22:30
and it's crazy and it's noisy
and it's exciting.
and it's exciting.
428
1325664
2818
22:33
He figured that this would drive up
the dopamine,
the dopamine,
429
1328506
2286
22:35
and she'd fall in love with him.
430
1330816
1532
22:37
So off they go and she's squealing
and squeezing him
and squeezing him
431
1332372
4974
22:42
and laughing and having a wonderful time.
432
1337370
2517
22:44
An hour later they get down
off of the rickshaw,
off of the rickshaw,
433
1339911
3539
22:48
and she throws her hands up and she says,
434
1343474
3580
22:51
"Wasn't that wonderful?"
435
1347078
2312
22:54
And, "Wasn't that rickshaw
driver handsome!"
driver handsome!"
436
1349414
3414
22:57
(Laughter)
437
1352852
3069
23:00
(Applause)
438
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6031
23:06
There's magic to love!
439
1362000
1162
23:07
(Applause)
440
1363186
1611
23:09
But I will end by saying
that millions of years ago,
that millions of years ago,
441
1364821
3620
23:13
we evolved three basic drives:
442
1368465
2332
23:15
the sex drive, romantic love
443
1370821
2519
23:18
and attachment to a long-term partner.
444
1373364
2340
23:20
These circuits are deeply
embedded in the human brain.
embedded in the human brain.
445
1375728
3079
23:24
They're going to survive
as long as our species survives
as long as our species survives
446
1379203
4403
23:28
on what Shakespeare called
"this mortal coil."
"this mortal coil."
447
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2708
23:31
Thank you.
448
1386362
1006
23:32
Chris Anderson: Helen Fisher!
449
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1425
23:33
(Applause)
450
1388841
1063
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Helen Fisher - Anthropologist, expert on loveAnthropologist Helen Fisher studies gender differences and the evolution of human emotions. She’s best known as an expert on romantic love.
Why you should listen
Fisher's several books lay bare the mysteries of our most treasured emotion: its evolution, its biochemical foundations and its vital importance to human society. Fisher describes love as a universal human drive (stronger than the sex drive; stronger than thirst or hunger; stronger perhaps than the will to live), and her many areas of inquiry shed light on timeless human mysteries like why we choose one partner over another. Her classic study, Anatomy of Love, first published in 1992, has just been re-issued in a fully updated edition, including her recent neuroimaging research on lust, romantic love and attachment as well as discussions of sexting, hooking up, friends with benefits, other contemporary trends in courtship and marriage, and a dramatic current trend she calls “slow love.”
Helen Fisher | Speaker | TED.com