TED2006
Helen Fisher: Why we love, why we cheat
Helen Fisher nam pove, zakaj ljubimo, varamo
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Antropologinja Helen Fisher govori o sočni temi - ljubezni - in razloži njeno evolucijo, biokemične osnove in njen pomen v družbi. Zaključi z opozorilom o možni katastrofi, ki se skriva v zlorabi antidepresivov.
Helen Fisher - Anthropologist, expert on love
Anthropologist Helen Fisher studies gender differences and the evolution of human emotions. She’s best known as an expert on romantic love. Full bio
Anthropologist Helen Fisher studies gender differences and the evolution of human emotions. She’s best known as an expert on romantic love. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
Danes bi rada govorila o dveh največjih družbenih trendih prihajajočega stoletja
00:25
I'd like to talk today
about the two biggest social trends
about the two biggest social trends
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00:30
in the coming century,
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00:31
and perhaps in the next 10,000 years.
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in mogoče tudi naslednjih 10.000 let.
Ampak začela bom s svojim delom o romantični ljubezni,
00:34
But I want to start
with my work on romantic love,
with my work on romantic love,
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00:38
because that's my most recent work.
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ker sem se s tem nazadnje ukvarjala.
Kar smo jaz in moji kolegi storili, je, da smo 32 noro zaljubljenih ljudi,
00:41
What I and my colleagues did was put
32 people, who were madly in love,
32 people, who were madly in love,
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00:45
into a functional MRI brain scanner.
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slikali s funkcijskim MRI aparatom.
17, ki so bili noro zaljubljeni in jim je bila ljubezen vračana
00:48
17 who were madly in love
and their love was accepted;
and their love was accepted;
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ter 15 tistih, ki so bili noro zaljubljeni in so bili pravkar zavrnjeni.
00:51
and 15 who were madly in love
and they had just been dumped.
and they had just been dumped.
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In najprej bi vam rada povedala to,
00:54
And so I want to tell you
about that first,
about that first,
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potem pa bi šla na to, kamor, mislim, da gre ljubezen.
00:57
and then go on into where
I think love is going.
I think love is going.
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01:01
(Laughter)
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01:03
"What 'tis to love?" Shakespeare said.
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"Kaj je to, ljubiti?" je vprašal Shakespeare.
Mislim, da so se naši predniki - da se človeška bitja ukvarjajo s tem vprašanjem,
01:07
I think our ancestors --
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01:09
I think human beings have been
wondering about this question
wondering about this question
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odkar so sedeli okrog tabornih ognjev ali ležali in gledali zvezde milijon let nazaj.
01:13
since they sat around their campfires
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01:15
or lay and watched
the stars a million years ago.
the stars a million years ago.
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01:19
I started out by trying to figure out
what romantic love was
what romantic love was
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Začela sem tako, da sem poskusila ugotoviti, kaj je romantična ljubezen,
tako da sem proučevala psihološke raziskave iz zadnjih 45 let.
01:22
by looking at the last 45 years
of the psychological research
of the psychological research
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01:28
and as it turns out,
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Izkazalo se je, da se zgodi zelo specifična množica stvari, ko se zaljubiš.
01:29
there's a very specific group of things
that happen when you fall in love.
that happen when you fall in love.
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Prva stvar, ki se zgodi,
01:34
The first thing that happens is,
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01:36
a person begins to take on
what I call, "special meaning."
what I call, "special meaning."
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oseba začne prevzemati nekaj, čemur jaz pravim "poseben pomen".
Enkrat mi je voznik tovornjaka dejal:
01:40
As a truck driver once said to me,
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"Svet je imel novo središče in to središče je bila Mary Anne."
01:42
"The world had a new center,
and that center was Mary Anne."
and that center was Mary Anne."
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01:46
George Bernard Shaw said it differently.
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George Bernard Shaw je to rekel nekoliko drugače.
Rekel je: "Ljubezen je sestavljena iz precenjevanja razlik med eno žensko in neko drugo."
01:48
"Love consists of overestimating
the differences
the differences
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01:51
between one woman and another."
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In zares, to je, kar počnemo. (smeh)
01:53
And indeed, that's what we do.
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01:55
(Laughter)
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01:58
And then you just focus on this person.
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In potem se osredotočite samo na to osebo.
02:01
You can list what you
don't like about them,
don't like about them,
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Lahko naštejete tisto, kar vam ni všeč na njej,
vendar potem to pometete na stran in se osredotočite na tisto, kar vam je.
02:04
but then you sweep that aside
and focus on what you do.
and focus on what you do.
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02:07
As Chaucer said, "Love is blind."
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Kot je rekel Chaucer: "Ljubezen je slepa."
02:11
In trying to understand romantic love,
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Da bi razumela romantično ljubezen,
02:13
I decided I would read poetry
from all over the world,
from all over the world,
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sem se odločila, da bom brala poezijo s celega sveta.
02:16
and I just want to give
you one very short poem
you one very short poem
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Rada bi vam prebrala zelo kratko pesmico iz 8. stoletja s Kitajske,
02:19
from eighth-century China,
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ker je skoraj odličen primer moškega, ki je osredotočen samo na določeno žensko.
02:20
because it's an almost perfect example
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02:22
of a man who is focused totally
on a particular woman.
on a particular woman.
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Kot takrat, ko ste noro zaljubljeni v neko osebo
02:26
It's a little bit like when you are
madly in love with somebody
madly in love with somebody
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in hodite po parkirišču.
02:29
and you walk into a parking lot --
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Avtomobil od te osebe je drugačen od vseh drugih na parkirišču.
02:31
their car is different
from every other car in the parking lot.
from every other car in the parking lot.
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Njen kozarec z vinom na večerji je drugačen od vseh drugih kozarcev.
02:34
Their wine glass at dinner
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02:36
is different from every other wine glass
at the dinner party.
at the dinner party.
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02:39
And in this case, a man got hooked
on a bamboo sleeping mat.
on a bamboo sleeping mat.
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In v tem primeru se je moški zatreskal na bambusovi spalni podlogi.
Gre pa tako. Napisal jo je Yuan Chen.
02:44
And it goes like this.
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It's by a guy called Yuan Zhen.
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"Ne morem prenesti, da bi pospravil bambusovo podlogo.
02:48
"I cannot bear to put away
the bamboo sleeping mat.
the bamboo sleeping mat.
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Tisto noč, ko sem te pripeljal domov, sem te gledal, kako si jo razvila."
02:51
The night I brought you home,
I watched you roll it out."
I watched you roll it out."
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Postal je zasvojen s spalno podlogo,
02:55
He became hooked on a sleeping mat,
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najverjetneje zaradi povečane aktivnosti dopamina v njegovih možganih,
02:57
probably because of elevated activity
of dopamine in his brain,
of dopamine in his brain,
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tako kot pri vas ali pri meni.
03:00
just like with you and me.
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Ne samo, da ta oseba prevzame poseben pomen,
03:02
But anyway, not only does this person
take on special meaning,
take on special meaning,
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svojo pozornost osredotočite nanjo.
03:05
you focus your attention on them.
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03:07
You aggrandize them.
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Poveličujete jo. Imate neizmerno energijo
03:09
But you have intense energy.
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Kot je rekel nek Polinezijec: "Počutil sem se, kot da skačem po zraku."
03:11
As one Polynesian said,
"I felt like jumping in the sky."
"I felt like jumping in the sky."
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Prebedite celo noč. Se sprehajate do zore.
03:15
You're up all night.
You're walking till dawn.
You're walking till dawn.
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Občutite silno vznesenost, ko gredo stvari dobro,
03:18
You feel intense elation
when things are going well;
when things are going well;
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kar se pretvori v strašen obup, ko gredo stvari slabo.
03:21
mood swings into horrible despair
when things are going poorly.
when things are going poorly.
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Prava odvisnost od te osebe.
03:24
Real dependence on this person.
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Kot mi je rekel nek podjetnik v New Yorku: "Karkoli je bilo njej všeč, je bilo tudi meni."
03:27
As one businessman in New York said to me,
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"Anything she liked, I liked."
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Enostavno. Romantična ljubezen je zelo enostavna.
03:32
Simple. Romantic love is very simple.
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03:35
You become extremely sexually possessive.
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Postanete skrajno seksualno posesivni.
03:37
You know, if you're just sleeping
with somebody casually,
with somebody casually,
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Ko spite z nekom brez obvez,
03:40
you don't really care
if they're sleeping with somebody else.
if they're sleeping with somebody else.
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vas niti ne briga, če oni spijo z drugimi.
Ampak v trenutku, ko se zaljubite,
03:43
But the moment you fall in love,
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postanete skrajno seksualno posesivni do njih.
03:45
you become extremely
sexually possessive of them.
sexually possessive of them.
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Mislim, da je tu darvinističen razlog.
03:47
I think there's a Darwinian
purpose to this.
purpose to this.
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03:50
The whole point of this
is to pull two people together
is to pull two people together
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Cilj je, da se dva človeka povežeta skupaj
zadosti močno, da začneta kot ekipa vzgajati otroke.
03:53
strongly enough to begin
to rear babies as a team.
to rear babies as a team.
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03:57
But the main characteristics
of romantic love are craving:
of romantic love are craving:
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Ampak glavna značilnost romantične ljubezni je hrepenenje:
04:00
an intense craving
to be with a particular person,
to be with a particular person,
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močno hrepenenje, da bomo s to osebo, ne samo seksualno, ampak tudi čustveno.
04:04
not just sexually, but emotionally.
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04:06
It would be nice to go to bed with them,
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Lepo bi bilo iti v posteljo s to osebo,
vendar si želite, da bi vas klicala po telefonu, da vas povabi ven itd.
04:10
but you want them to call you
on the telephone, to invite you out, etc.,
on the telephone, to invite you out, etc.,
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04:14
to tell you that they love you.
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Da vam pove, da vas ljubi.
04:17
The other main characteristic
is motivation.
is motivation.
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Druga glavna značilnost je motivacija.
Motor v vaših možganih se prižge in vi želite to osebo.
04:22
The motor in the brain begins to crank,
and you want this person.
and you want this person.
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04:25
And last but not least,
it is an obsession.
it is an obsession.
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In na koncu, še ena od glavnih značilnosti je obsesija.
Predno sem te ljudi dala v MRI aparat,
04:28
Before I put these people
in the MRI machine,
in the MRI machine,
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04:32
I would ask them all kinds of questions.
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sem jim zastavila različna vprašanja.
04:34
But my most important question
was always the same.
was always the same.
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Moje najpomembnejše vprašanje je bilo vedno enako.
Bilo je: "Koliko odstotkov dneva in noči mislite na to osebo?"
04:37
It was: "What percentage of the day
and night do you think about this person?"
and night do you think about this person?"
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In res so odgovorili: "Ves dan. Vso noč. Ne morem nehati razmišljati o njem/njej."
04:42
And indeed, they would say,
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"All day. All night.
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I can never stop thinking
about him or her."
about him or her."
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04:49
And then, the very last question --
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In nato, zadnje vprašanje, ki sem jim ga postavila--
04:51
I would always have to work
myself up to this question,
myself up to this question,
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vedno sem se morala prisiliti, da sem jih to vprašala,
ker nisem psihologinja.
04:54
because I'm not a psychologist.
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Ne delam z ljudmi, ki so doživeli kakršnokoli travmatsko situacijo.
04:55
I don't work with people
in any kind of traumatic situation.
in any kind of traumatic situation.
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In moje zadnje vprašanje je bilo vedno enako.
04:59
My final question was always the same.
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Vprašala sem jih: "Bi umrli zanj/zanjo?"
05:01
I would say,
"Would you die for him or her?"
"Would you die for him or her?"
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Ti ljudje so rekli: "Ja!"
05:04
And, indeed, these people would say "Yes!"
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kot bi jih prosila, če mi podajo sol.
05:06
as if I had asked them to pass the salt.
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Bila sem preprosto osupla.
05:08
I was just staggered by it.
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05:12
So we scanned their brains,
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Skenirali smo jim možgane, medtem ko so gledali fotografijo njihovih najdražjih in neko nevtralno fotografijo
05:15
looking at a photograph
of their sweetheart
of their sweetheart
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05:17
and looking at a neutral photograph,
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z neko motečo nalogo vmes.
05:18
with a distraction task in between.
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Tako, da smo lahko pogledali v možgane, ko so bili v zbujenem stanju
05:20
So we could look at the same brain
when it was in that heightened state
when it was in that heightened state
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05:25
and when it was in a resting state.
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in ko so bili v fazi odmora.
Tako smo našli aktivnost v veliko možganskih regijah.
05:28
And we found activity
in a lot of brain regions.
in a lot of brain regions.
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Ena izmed najpomembnejših je bila regija,
05:30
In fact, one of the most important
was a brain region
was a brain region
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ki se drugače aktivira pri uživanju kokaina.
05:33
that becomes active
when you feel the rush of cocaine.
when you feel the rush of cocaine.
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In zares, ravno to se dogaja.
05:37
And indeed, that's exactly what happens.
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05:40
I began to realize that romantic love
is not an emotion.
is not an emotion.
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Začela sem doumevati, da romantična ljubezen ni čustvo.
Pravzaprav sem vedno mislila, da je niz čustev,
05:45
In fact, I had always thought
it was a series of emotions,
it was a series of emotions,
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od najbolj pozitivnih do najbolj negativnih.
05:47
from very high to very low.
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05:49
But actually, it's a drive.
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Pravzaprav je ljubezen nagon. Izhaja iz umskega motorja,
05:51
It comes from the motor of the mind,
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05:53
the wanting part of the mind,
the craving part of the mind.
the craving part of the mind.
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hotečega dela, hrepenečega dela uma.
Tisti del uma, kot takrat,
05:57
The kind of part of the mind
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05:58
when you're reaching
for that piece of chocolate,
for that piece of chocolate,
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ko posežete po tistem koščku čokolade,
ko želite dobiti tisto napredovanje pri delu.
06:01
when you want to win
that promotion at work.
that promotion at work.
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Motor možganov. Ljubezen je sla.
06:05
The motor of the brain.
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06:07
It's a drive.
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06:08
And in fact, I think it's more powerful
than the sex drive.
than the sex drive.
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Mislim, da je močnejša od spolne sle.
Če vprašate nekoga, če gre v posteljo z vami, in ta oseba reče: "Ne, hvala,"
06:11
You know, if you ask somebody
to go to bed with you,
to go to bed with you,
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06:14
and they say, "No, thank you,"
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se zagotovo ne ubijete ali zapadete v klinično depresijo.
06:15
you certainly don't kill yourself
or slip into a clinical depression.
or slip into a clinical depression.
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Ampak zagotovo bi ljudje po celem svetu, ki so zavrnjeni v ljubezni, ubijali zanjo.
06:19
But certainly, around the world,
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06:22
people who are rejected
in love will kill for it.
in love will kill for it.
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Ljudje živijo za ljubezen. Ubijajo za ljubezen. Umirajo za ljubezen.
06:27
People live for love.
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06:28
They kill for love.
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06:29
They die for love.
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06:31
They have songs, poems, novels,
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Imajo pesmi, poezijo, romane, kipe, slike, mite, legende.
06:34
sculptures, paintings, myths, legends.
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V preko 175 družbah so ljudje pustili dokaze o tem močnem možganskem sistemu.
06:38
In over 175 societies,
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06:40
people have left their evidence
of this powerful brain system.
of this powerful brain system.
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Začenjam razmišljati, da je eden izmed najmočnejših možganskih sistemov na svetu
06:45
I have come to think
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it's one of the most powerful
brain systems on Earth
brain systems on Earth
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tako za ogromno veselje kot ogromno žalost.
06:49
for both great joy and great sorrow.
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In sem tudi začela razmišljati, da je eden od treh,
06:52
And I've also come to think
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06:53
that it's one of three
basically different brain systems
basically different brain systems
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v osnovi različnih možganskih sistemov, ki so se razvili zaradi iskanja partnerja in razmnoževanja.
06:57
that evolved from mating and reproduction.
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Prvi je spolna sla: hrepenenje po seksualnem zadovoljenju.
06:59
One is the sex drive:
the craving for sexual gratification.
the craving for sexual gratification.
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07:03
W.H. Auden called it
an "intolerable neural itch,"
an "intolerable neural itch,"
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W.H. Auden ga je poimenoval "neznosna živčna srbečica,"
07:06
and indeed, that's what it is.
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in res je prav to.
Neprestano vas po malem nadleguje, kot da bi bili lačni.
07:09
It keeps bothering you
a little bit, like being hungry.
a little bit, like being hungry.
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Drugi od teh treh možganskih sistemov je romantična ljubezen:
07:13
The second of these three brain
systems is romantic love:
systems is romantic love:
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07:16
that elation, obsession of early love.
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tista vznesenost, obsedenost na začetku ljubezni.
07:18
And the third brain system is attachment:
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In tretji možganski sistem je navezanost:
tisti občutek miru in varnosti, ki ga čutite ob dolgoročnem partnerju.
07:21
that sense of calm and security
you can feel for a long-term partner.
you can feel for a long-term partner.
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07:25
And I think that the sex drive
evolved to get you out there,
evolved to get you out there,
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Mislim, da se je spolna sla razvila, da bi vas poslala
v iskanje med široko izbiro partnerjev.
07:28
looking for a whole range of partners.
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Saj veste, lahko jo čutite že, ko se samo vozite v avtomobilu.
07:30
You can feel it when you're just
driving along in your car.
driving along in your car.
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Lahko se osredotočite na neznanca.
07:33
It can be focused on nobody.
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Mislim, da se je romantična ljubezen razvila, da bi vam omogočila usmeriti paritveno energijo
07:35
I think romantic love evolved
to enable you to focus your mating energy
to enable you to focus your mating energy
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07:38
on just one individual at a time,
151
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na samo eno osebo naenkrat,
07:40
thereby conserving mating time and energy.
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in tako omogočila ohranitev časa in energije za parjenje.
07:43
And I think that attachment,
the third brain system,
the third brain system,
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In mislim, da se je navezanost kot tretji možganski sistem
razvila z namenom, da zdržite s to osebo (smeh)
07:46
evolved to enable you to tolerate
this human being
this human being
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07:49
at least long enough to raise
a child together as a team.
a child together as a team.
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vsaj toliko časa, da skupaj, kot ekipa, vzgojite otroka.
07:55
So with that preamble,
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Torej po tem uvodu želim razpravljati o dveh ključnih družbenih trendih.
07:57
I want to go into discussing
the two most profound social trends.
the two most profound social trends.
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08:03
One of the last 10,000 years
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O enem, ki traja zadnjih 10.000 let, in o drugem, ki traja vsaj 25 let.
08:06
and the other,
certainly of the last 25 years,
certainly of the last 25 years,
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Trenda bosta imela močan vpliv na te tri različne možganske sisteme:
08:10
that are going to have an impact
on these three different brain systems:
on these three different brain systems:
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na poželenje, romantično ljubezen in globoko navezanost na partnerja.
08:15
lust, romantic love
and deep attachment to a partner.
and deep attachment to a partner.
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Prvi trend so zaposlene ženske, ki so del delovne sile.
08:19
The first is women working,
moving into the workforce.
moving into the workforce.
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Skozi demografska letna poročila Združenih narodov sem pregledala 130 družb.
08:26
I've looked at 130 societies
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08:29
through the demographic yearbooks
of the United Nations.
of the United Nations.
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In povsod po svetu, v 129 od 130 družb, ženske ne samo, da prihajajo na trg delovne sile,
08:31
Everywhere in the world,
129 out of 130 of them,
129 out of 130 of them,
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08:36
women are not only moving
into the job market --
into the job market --
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08:38
sometimes very, very slowly,
but they are moving into the job market --
but they are moving into the job market --
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včasih zelo, zelo počasi, vendar se pomikajo na trg delovne sile --
08:42
and they are very slowly closing
that gap between men and women
that gap between men and women
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ampak tudi zelo počasi zapirajo vrzel med moškimi in ženskami
08:46
in terms of economic power,
health and education.
health and education.
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na področju ekonomske moči, zdravstva in izobraževanja.
To se dogaja zelo počasi.
08:50
It's very slow.
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08:51
For every trend on this planet,
there's a counter-trend.
there's a counter-trend.
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Za vsak trend na tem planetu obstaja tudi nasprotni trend.
08:54
We all know of them, but nevertheless --
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Vsi vemo zanje, ampak vseeno -- kot pravi arabski pregovor:
08:57
the Arabs say, "The dogs may bark,
but the caravan moves on."
but the caravan moves on."
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"Psi lahko lajajo, ampak karavana gre naprej."
Karavana gre res naprej.
09:03
And, indeed, that caravan is moving on.
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Ženske prihajajo nazaj na trg delovne sile.
09:05
Women are moving back into the job market.
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In pravim nazaj, ker to ni nekaj novega.
09:08
And I say back into the job market,
because this is not new.
because this is not new.
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Nekaj milijonov let v afriških savanah
09:12
For millions of years,
on the grasslands of Africa,
on the grasslands of Africa,
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so ženske odhajale na delo, da bi nabrale zelenjavo.
09:15
women commuted to work
to gather their vegetables.
to gather their vegetables.
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Domov so prišle s 60 do 80 odstotki večernega obroka.
09:18
They came home with 60 to 80 percent
of the evening meal.
of the evening meal.
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09:22
The double income family was the standard.
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Družinski dvojni prihodek je bil standard.
09:25
And women were regarded
as just as economically,
as just as economically,
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In ženske so bile obravnavane kot ekonomsko, družbeno in seksualno enako močne kot moški.
09:29
socially and sexually powerful as men.
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09:32
In short, we're really
moving forward to the past.
moving forward to the past.
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Na kratko, res se premikamo naprej v preteklost.
Takrat je bil ženski najslabši izum plug.
09:37
Then, women's worst
invention was the plow.
invention was the plow.
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Z začetkom poljedelstva z uporabo pluga je vloga moškega postala izredno močna.
09:42
With the beginning of plow agriculture,
men's roles became extremely powerful.
men's roles became extremely powerful.
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Ženske so izgubile svoja starodavna dela kot zbiralke,
09:46
Women lost their ancient
jobs as collectors,
jobs as collectors,
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z industrijsko in postindustrijsko revolucijo
09:50
but then with the industrial revolution
and the post-industrial revolution
and the post-industrial revolution
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pa se vračajo nazaj na trg delovne sile.
09:54
they're moving back into the job market.
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Na kratko, ponovno pridobivajo status, ki so ga imele milijon let nazaj,
09:56
In short, they are acquiring the status
that they had a million years ago,
that they had a million years ago,
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10.000 let nazaj, 100.000 let nazaj.
10:01
10,000 years ago, 100,000 years ago.
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10:04
We are seeing now one
of the most remarkable traditions
of the most remarkable traditions
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Sedaj smo priče eni izmed najbolj izrednih tradicij v zgodovini človeške živali.
10:09
in the history of the human animal.
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In imela bo vpliv.
10:13
And it's going to have an impact.
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Ponavadi imam celo predavanje o vplivu žensk na poslovno družbo.
10:15
I generally give a whole lecture
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10:16
on the impact of women
on the business community.
on the business community.
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Povedala bom samo par stvari, potem pa se vrnila k seksu in ljubezni.
10:18
I'll say just a couple of things,
and then go on to sex and love.
and then go on to sex and love.
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Med spoloma je veliko razlik;
10:22
There's a lot of gender differences;
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vsak, ki misli, da smo moški in ženske enaki, ni nikoli imel sina in hčerke.
10:23
anybody who thinks men and women are alike
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10:26
simply never had a boy and a girl child.
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Ne vem, zakaj si želijo misliti, da smo moški in ženske enaki.
10:28
I don't know why they want to think
that men and women are alike.
that men and women are alike.
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Veliko imamo skupnega, vendar je veliko več tistega,
10:31
There's much we have in common,
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10:32
but there's a whole lot
that we do not have in common.
that we do not have in common.
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v čemer se razlikujemo.
10:35
We are -- in the words of Ted Hughes,
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1976
Smo -- z besedami Teda Hughesa,
10:37
"I think that we are like two feet.
We need each other to get ahead."
We need each other to get ahead."
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"Smo kot dve stopali. Potrebujemo eden drugega, da gremo naprej."
Ampak nismo šli skozi evolucijo, da bi imeli enake možgane.
10:42
But we did not evolve
to have the same brain.
to have the same brain.
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10:45
And we're finding more and more
gender differences in the brain.
gender differences in the brain.
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Odkrivamo vedno več razlik v možganih med obema spoloma.
Povedala bom le par razlik, nato pa se vrnila k seksu in ljubezni.
10:49
I'll only just use a couple
and then move on to sex and love.
and then move on to sex and love.
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10:52
One of them is women's verbal ability.
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Ena je ženska govorna sposobnost. Ženske znajo govoriti.
10:54
Women can talk.
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10:55
Women's ability to find the right word
rapidly, basic articulation
rapidly, basic articulation
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Ženska sposobnost, da najdejo pravo besedo hitro, osnovna artikulacija
10:59
goes up in the middle
of the menstrual cycle,
of the menstrual cycle,
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se pojavi v sredini menstrualnega cikla, ko so najvišje vrednosti estrogena.
11:02
when estrogen levels peak.
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Ampak tudi med menstruacijo so boljše kot povprečni moški.
11:03
But even at menstruation,
they're better than the average man.
they're better than the average man.
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Ženske znajo govoriti.
11:07
Women can talk.
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To so počele milijone let; besede so žensko orodje.
11:09
They've been doing it for a million years;
words were women's tools.
words were women's tools.
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11:12
They held that baby
in front of their face,
in front of their face,
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Držale so otroka pred svojim obrazom,
ga nagovarjale, ga grajale, ga učile z besedami.
11:14
cajoling it, reprimanding it,
educating it with words.
educating it with words.
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In zares, postajajo zelo močna sila.
11:18
And, indeed, they're becoming
a very powerful force.
a very powerful force.
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11:21
Even in places like India and Japan,
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Tudi v krajih, kot sta Indija in Japonska,
kjer se ženske ne premikajo hitro na reden trg delovne sile,
11:27
where women are not moving rapidly
into the regular job market,
into the regular job market,
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11:30
they're moving into journalism.
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pomikajo se v novinarstvo.
11:32
And I think that the television
is like the global campfire.
is like the global campfire.
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Televizija je kot globalni taborni ogenj.
11:36
We sit around it and it shapes our minds.
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Sedimo okrog nje in nam oblikuje um.
11:40
Almost always, when I'm on TV,
the producer who calls me,
the producer who calls me,
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Skoraj vedno, ko sem na TV, producent, ki me pokliče,
ki se pogaja, kaj bomo povedali, je ženska.
11:44
who negotiates what we're going to say,
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11:47
is a woman.
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Solženicin je enkrat rekel:
11:48
In fact, Solzhenitsyn once said,
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"Imeti velikega pisatelja je imeti drugo vlado."
11:50
"To have a great writer
is to have another government."
is to have another government."
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Danes je v Ameriki 54 odstotkov pisateljev žensk.
11:54
Today 54 percent of people
who are writers in America are women.
who are writers in America are women.
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Je ena od mnogih značilnosti, ki jih imajo ženske
11:59
It's one of many,
many characteristics that women have
many characteristics that women have
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in ki jih bodo prinesle na trg delovne sile.
12:02
that they will bring into the job market.
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Znajo delati z ljudmi, imajo neverjetne sposobnosti pregovarjanja.
12:04
They've got incredible people skills,
negotiating skills.
negotiating skills.
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So zelo domiselne.
12:09
They're highly imaginative.
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12:10
We now know the brain circuitry
of imagination, of long-term planning.
of imagination, of long-term planning.
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Sedaj poznamo možganske povezave za domiselnost, dolgoročno planiranje.
So nagnjene k temu, da so mrežni misleci.
12:15
They tend to be web thinkers.
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12:17
Because the female parts
of the brain are better connected,
of the brain are better connected,
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Deli ženskih možganov so bolje povezani,
ženske ponavadi zberejo več podatkov, ko mislijo,
12:20
they tend to collect more
pieces of data when they think,
pieces of data when they think,
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jih povežejo v bolj zapletene vzorce, vidijo več možnosti in rezultatov.
12:23
put them into more complex patterns,
see more options and outcomes.
see more options and outcomes.
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Poiščejo vsebino, so bolj celostni misleci, kar imenujem mrežni misleci.
12:28
They tend to be contextual,
holistic thinkers,
holistic thinkers,
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12:32
what I call web thinkers.
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12:33
Men tend to -- and these are averages --
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Moški so nagnjeni v povprečju k temu, da se znebijo tistega, kar imajo za nenavadno,
12:35
tend to get rid of what they regard
as extraneous,
as extraneous,
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osredotočijo se na tisto, kar počnejo in razmišljajo korak za korakom.
12:38
focus on what they do,
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12:39
and move in a more
step-by-step thinking pattern.
step-by-step thinking pattern.
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Oba načina mišljenja sta dobra.
12:45
They're both perfectly good
ways of thinking.
ways of thinking.
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Potrebujemo oba, da gremo naprej.
12:48
We need both of them to get ahead.
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12:50
In fact, there's many more
male geniuses in the world.
male geniuses in the world.
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Pravzaprav je več moških genijev na svetu.
12:53
And there's also many more
male idiots in the world.
male idiots in the world.
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Je tudi veliko več moških idiotov na svetu. (smeh)
12:56
(Laughter)
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Ko moški možgani delajo dobro, delajo izredno dobro.
12:58
When the male brain works well,
it works extremely well.
it works extremely well.
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Prepričana sem, da se pomikamo v smer sodelujoče družbe,
13:01
And what I really think
that we're doing is,
that we're doing is,
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13:04
we're moving towards
a collaborative society,
a collaborative society,
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k družbi, kjer postajajo talenti obeh spolov razumljeni,
13:07
a society in which the talents
of both men and women
of both men and women
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13:09
are becoming understood
and valued and employed.
and valued and employed.
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cenjeni in zaposleni.
13:13
But in fact, women moving
into the job market
into the job market
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Dejstvo pa je, da ima pomik žensk na trg delovne sile ogromen vpliv
13:16
is having a huge impact
on sex and romance and family life.
on sex and romance and family life.
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na seks in romantiko in družinsko življenje.
Ženske so končno začele izražati svojo seksualnost.
13:22
Foremost, women are starting
to express their sexuality.
to express their sexuality.
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13:27
I'm always astonished
when people come to me and say,
when people come to me and say,
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2626
Vedno sem presenečena, ko me ljudje vprašajo:
"Zakaj moški bolj varajo?"
13:30
"Why is it that men are so adulterous?"
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2318
Vprašam jih: "Zakaj mislite, da vara več moških kot žensk?"
13:32
"Why do you think
more men are adulterous than women?"
more men are adulterous than women?"
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2713
"Ja, no, moški bolj varajo!"
13:35
"Well, men are more adulterous!"
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Vprašam jih: " S kom pa mislite, da ti moški spijo?"
13:36
And I say, "Who do you think
these men are sleeping with?"
these men are sleeping with?"
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In -- osnovna matematika! (smeh)
13:39
(Laughter)
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13:41
And -- basic math!
264
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1728
Kakorkoli že.
13:42
Anyway.
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V zahodnem svetu, punčke--
13:44
In the Western world,
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3596
13:47
women start sooner at sex,
have more partners,
have more partners,
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ženske imajo spolne odnose bolj zgodaj, imajo več partnerjev,
13:50
express less remorse
for the partners that they do,
for the partners that they do,
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so manj usmiljene do partnerjev,
13:53
marry later, have fewer children,
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2682
se pozneje poročajo, imajo manj otrok, zapustijo slabe zakone, da bi dobile boljše.
13:56
leave bad marriages
in order to get good ones.
in order to get good ones.
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13:59
We are seeing the rise
of female sexual expression.
of female sexual expression.
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3979
Smo priče dvigu ženskega seksualnega izražanja.
Ponovno se približujemo tisti obliki seksualnega izražanja,
14:03
And, indeed, once again we're moving
forward to the kind of sexual expression
forward to the kind of sexual expression
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4721
ki smo jo verjetno videli v savanah Afrike milijon let nazaj,
14:08
that we probably saw on the grasslands
of Africa a million years ago,
of Africa a million years ago,
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3684
14:11
because this is the kind
of sexual expression that we see
of sexual expression that we see
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2976
ker je to oblika seksualnega izražanja, ki jo vidimo
14:14
in hunting and gathering societies today.
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2258
v lovsko-nabiralnih družbah danes.
14:17
We're also returning
to an ancient form of marriage equality.
to an ancient form of marriage equality.
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3976
Prav tako se vračamo k starodavni obliki enakosti v zakonski zvezi.
Sedaj govorijo, da bo 21. stoletje
14:22
They're now saying that the 21st century
277
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4556
14:26
is going to be the century of what
they call the "symmetrical marriage,"
they call the "symmetrical marriage,"
278
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3976
stoletje "simetričnega zakona", kot so to poimenovali,
14:30
or the "pure marriage,"
or the "companionate marriage."
or the "companionate marriage."
279
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5384
ali "čistega zakona" ali "sopotniškega zakona".
To je zakonska zveza med enakimi,
14:36
This is a marriage between equals,
280
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3568
14:39
moving forward to a pattern
281
855000
2443
ki napreduje k vzorcu, ki je zelo skladen s starodavnim človeškim duhom.
14:42
that is highly compatible
with the ancient human spirit.
with the ancient human spirit.
282
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3134
14:46
We're also seeing a rise of romantic love.
283
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2539
Vidimo tudi dvig romantične ljubezni.
14:49
91 percent of American women
and 86 percent of American men
and 86 percent of American men
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4226
91 odstotkov Američank in 86 odstotkov Američanov
se ne bi poročilo z nekom, ki bi imel vse lastnosti, ki jih iščejo v partnerju,
14:53
would not marry somebody
who had every single quality
who had every single quality
285
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4603
14:58
they were looking for in a partner,
286
873663
1816
če ne bi bili zaljubljeni v to osebo.
15:00
if they were not in love with that person.
287
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2763
Ljudje s celega sveta, v študiji 37 družb,
15:03
People around the world,
in a study of 37 societies,
in a study of 37 societies,
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3519
hočejo biti zaljubljeni v osebo, s katero se poročijo.
15:06
want to be in love
with the person that they marry.
with the person that they marry.
289
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3637
Dogovorjeni zakoni izginjajo iz človeškega življenja.
15:10
Indeed, arranged marriages are
on their way off this braid of human life.
on their way off this braid of human life.
290
885946
6054
15:20
I even think that marriages
might even become more stable
might even become more stable
291
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2794
Sem mnenja, da so zakoni lahko celo bolj stabilni
zaradi drugega velikega svetovnega trenda.
15:23
because of the second great world trend.
292
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3754
Prvi je ta, da se ženske pomikajo na trg delovne sile,
15:27
The first one being women
moving into the job market,
moving into the job market,
293
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2762
15:29
the second one being
the aging world population.
the aging world population.
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drugi pa je staranje svetovnega prebivalstva.
15:32
They're now saying that in America,
295
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2427
Pravijo, da bi se v Ameriki
srednja leta štela do 85. leta.
15:35
that middle age should be regarded
as up to age 85.
as up to age 85.
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Zaradi tega, ker v najvišji starostni kategoriji med 76. in 85. letom,
15:39
Because in that highest
age category of 76 to 85,
age category of 76 to 85,
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kar 40 odstotkov ljudi nima težav.
15:44
as much as 40 percent of people
have nothing really wrong with them.
have nothing really wrong with them.
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15:47
So we're seeing there's a real
extension of middle age.
extension of middle age.
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Kar vidimo tukaj, je resna razširitev srednje dobe.
15:51
For one of my books,
I looked at divorce data in 58 societies.
I looked at divorce data in 58 societies.
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Za eno od svojih knjig sem pregledala podatke o ločitvah v 58 družbah.
15:56
And as it turns out, the older you get,
the less likely you are to divorce.
the less likely you are to divorce.
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Izkazalo se je, da starejši kot ste, manj verjetno je, da se boste ločili.
Tako je današnja stopnja ločitev v Ameriki stabilna
16:01
So the divorce rate right now
is stable in America,
is stable in America,
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in se pravzaprav začenja spuščati.
16:05
and it's actually beginning to decline.
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16:07
It may decline some more.
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Lahko se bo še spustila.
Lahko celo rečem, da z viagro, nadomestno terapijo z estrogenom, menjavami kolkov
16:11
I would even say that with Viagra,
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16:15
estrogen replacement, hip replacements
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in neverjetno zanimivimi ženskami
16:19
and the incredibly interesting women
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16:21
-- women have never been
as interesting as they are now.
as interesting as they are now.
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-- ženske niso še nikoli bile tako zanimive, kot so sedaj.
Še nikoli na tem planetu niso bile ženske tako izobražene, zanimive, sposobne.
16:24
Not at any time on this planet
have women been so educated,
have women been so educated,
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16:28
so interesting, so capable.
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Resnično mislim, da če obstaja čas v človeški evoluciji,
16:30
And so I honestly think that if there
really was ever a time in human evolution
really was ever a time in human evolution
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da ustvarimo dobre zakonske zveze, potem je ta čas zdaj.
16:36
when we have the opportunity to make
good marriages, that time is now.
good marriages, that time is now.
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16:41
However, there's always kinds
of complications in this.
of complications in this.
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Kakorkoli, pri tem so vedno obstajale težave.
Ti trije možganski sistemi: poželenje, romantična ljubezen in navezanost,
16:44
These three brain systems
-- lust, romantic love and attachment --
-- lust, romantic love and attachment --
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ne gredo vedno skupaj.
16:49
don't always go together.
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Pravzaprav lahko gredo skupaj.
16:50
They can go together, by the way.
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Zato seks brez obveznosti ni tako neobvezujoč.
16:52
That's why casual sex isn't so casual.
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Z orgazmom dobite porast dopamina.
16:54
With orgasm you get a spike of dopamine.
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Dopamin je povezan z romantično ljubeznijo
16:56
Dopamine's associated with romantic love,
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in lahko se zaljubite v osebo, s katero ste pravkar imeli neobvezujoč seks.
16:58
and you can just
fall in love with somebody
fall in love with somebody
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17:00
who you're just having casual sex with.
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Z orgazmom pride do pravega navala oksitocina in vazopresina --
17:02
With orgasm, then you get a real rush
of oxytocin and vasopressin --
of oxytocin and vasopressin --
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oba sta povezana z navezanostjo.
17:06
those are associated with attachment.
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Zato imate lahko občutek kozmične povezanosti z nekom
17:08
This is why you can feel such a sense
of cosmic union with somebody
of cosmic union with somebody
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po tem, ko ste se ljubili z njim.
17:12
after you've made love to them.
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Ampak ti trije možganski sistemi: poželenje, romantična ljubezen in navezanost,
17:14
But these three brain systems:
lust, romantic love and attachment,
lust, romantic love and attachment,
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4699
17:18
aren't always connected to each other.
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niso vedno povezani med sabo.
17:21
You can feel deep attachment
to a long-term partner
to a long-term partner
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Lahko čutite globoko navezanost na dolgoročnega partnerja,
medtem ko čutite intenzivno romantično ljubezen do nekoga drugega,
17:25
while you feel intense
romantic love for somebody else,
romantic love for somebody else,
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medtem ko čutite spolno slo do ljudi, ki niso povezani s temi partnerji.
17:29
while you feel the sex drive for people
unrelated to these other partners.
unrelated to these other partners.
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Na kratko, sposobni smo ljubiti več kot eno osebo naenkrat.
17:35
In short, we're capable of loving
more than one person at a time.
more than one person at a time.
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Zvečer lahko ležite v postelji
17:40
In fact, you can lie in bed at night
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1992
in menjavate globoko navezanost na eno osebo
17:42
and swing from deep feelings
of attachment for one person
of attachment for one person
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3246
17:45
to deep feelings
of romantic love for somebody else.
of romantic love for somebody else.
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z globoko romantično ljubeznijo do druge osebe.
To je, kot da bi imeli v glavi sestanek upravnega odbora,
17:49
It's as if there's a committee meeting
going on in your head
going on in your head
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ko se odločate, kaj narediti.
17:52
as you are trying to decide what to do.
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Iskreno povedano, ne mislim, da smo žival, ki je bila narejena, da je srečna;
17:55
So I don't think, honestly,
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17:56
we're an animal
that was built to be happy;
that was built to be happy;
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smo žival, ki je bila narejena za razmnoževanje.
17:59
we are an animal
that was built to reproduce.
that was built to reproduce.
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Mislim, da srečo, ki najdemo, naredimo sami.
18:01
I think the happiness we find, we make.
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18:04
And I think, however,
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Mislim, da vendarle lahko zgradimo dobre medsebojne odnose.
18:07
we can make good relationships
with each other.
with each other.
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18:10
So I want to conclude with two things.
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Rada bi zaključila z dvema stvarema.
Rada bi zaključila s zaskrbljenostjo.
18:12
I want to conclude with a worry,
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Zaskrbljena sem - in s čudovito zgodbo.
18:15
and with a wonderful story.
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Skrbi me zaradi antidepresivov.
18:19
The worry is about antidepressants.
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2689
Vsako leto je v ZDA napisanih preko 100 milijonov receptov za antidepresive.
18:23
Over 100 million prescriptions
of antidepressants
of antidepressants
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5132
18:28
are written every year
in the United States.
in the United States.
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2821
In ta zdravila postajajo generična.
18:31
And these drugs are going generic.
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18:34
They are seeping around the world.
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Širijo se po svetu.
Poznam dekle, ki je bilo na antidepresivih, za povišanje serotonina --
18:37
I know one girl who's been
on these antidepressants,
on these antidepressants,
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5233
18:42
SSRIs, serotonin-enhancing
antidepressants -- since she was 13.
antidepressants -- since she was 13.
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3976
SSRI-antidepresivi za zvišanje vrednosti serotonina - od 13. leta.
18:46
She's 23. She's been on them
ever since she was 13.
ever since she was 13.
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Ima 23 let. Jemlje jih, odkar je imela 13 let.
18:49
I've got nothing against people
who take them short term,
who take them short term,
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3516
Nič nimam proti tistim, ki jih jemljejo kratek čas,
18:53
when they're going
through something horrible.
through something horrible.
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ko gredo skozi nekaj zelo strašnega.
18:55
They want to commit suicide
or kill somebody else.
or kill somebody else.
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Ko želijo ubiti sebe ali koga drugega.
Takrat bi jih priporočila.
18:57
I would recommend it.
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Ampak vedno več ljudi v ZDA jih jemlje dolgoročno.
18:59
But more and more people
in the United States
in the United States
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2459
19:01
are taking them long term.
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1116741
2384
Ta zdravila zvišajo raven serotonina.
19:03
And indeed, what these drugs do
is raise levels of serotonin.
is raise levels of serotonin.
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1119149
5365
In z zvišanjem ravni serotonina se zavira dopaminski krog.
19:09
And by raising levels of serotonin,
you suppress the dopamine circuit.
you suppress the dopamine circuit.
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4821
19:14
Everybody knows that.
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1562
Vsi vedo to.
19:16
Dopamine is associated with romantic love.
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2895
Dopamin je povezan z romantično ljubeznijo.
19:21
Not only do they suppress
the dopamine circuit,
the dopamine circuit,
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3150
Ne samo, da zavirajo dopaminski krog, ubijejo tudi spolno slo.
19:24
but they kill the sex drive.
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In ko ubijete spolno slo, ubijete orgazem.
19:27
And when you kill the sex drive,
you kill orgasm.
you kill orgasm.
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3824
In ko ubijete orgazem, ubijete tisto poplavo substanc, ki so povezane z navezanostjo.
19:30
And when you kill orgasm,
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1146164
1191
19:32
you kill that flood of drugs
associated with attachment.
associated with attachment.
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3867
Stvari v možganih so povezane.
19:36
The things are connected in the brain.
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2264
19:38
And when you tamper with one brain system,
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In ko se vmešate v en možganski sistem,
boste pomešali tudi drugega.
19:41
you're going to tamper with another.
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1156680
1945
19:43
I'm just simply saying that a world
without love is a deadly place.
without love is a deadly place.
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4754
Hočem povedati, da je svet brez ljubezni smrtonosen kraj.
19:49
So now --
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1002
Zato zdaj -- (aplavz) -- hvala.
19:50
(Applause)
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1165764
4212
19:54
Thank you.
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Rada bi zaključila z zgodbo. In potem še komentar.
19:56
I want to end with a story.
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19:58
And then, just a comment.
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1300
Romantično ljubezen, seks in navezanost preučujem že 30 let.
20:01
I've been studying romantic love
and sex and attachment for 30 years.
and sex and attachment for 30 years.
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4779
Sem identični dvojček; zanima me, zakaj smo vsi enaki.
20:08
I'm an identical twin;
I am interested in why we're all alike.
I am interested in why we're all alike.
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1183774
3516
Zakaj smo vi in jaz enaki, zakaj so Iračani in Japonci
20:12
Why you and I are alike,
why the Iraqis and the Japanese
why the Iraqis and the Japanese
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1187925
3051
20:15
and the Australian Aborigines
and the people of the Amazon River
and the people of the Amazon River
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3000
in avstralski Aborigini ter ljudstva Amazonke enaki.
20:18
are all alike.
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1000
20:20
And about a year ago,
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2309
Pred kakšnim letom je do mene prišel spletni servis za zmenke Match.com
20:22
an Internet dating service,
Match.com, came to me
Match.com, came to me
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1198110
2985
in me vprašal, če bi zanj zasnovala novo stran za spoznavanje.
20:25
and asked me if I would design
a new dating site for them.
a new dating site for them.
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3652
20:29
I said, "I don't know anything
about personality. You know?
about personality. You know?
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2802
Rekla sem: "Nič ne vem o osebnosti.
20:32
I don't know. Do you think
you've got the right person?"
you've got the right person?"
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2720
Ne vem. Mislite, da ste dobili pravo osebo?"
Rekli so: "Ja."
20:35
They said, "Yes."
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1210365
1040
Dalo mi je misliti, zakaj se v eno osebo zaljubimo raje kot v drugo.
20:36
It got me thinking
about why it is that you fall in love
about why it is that you fall in love
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3023
20:39
with one person rather than another.
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1214476
1732
To je moj zdajšnji projekt; to bo moja naslednja knjiga.
20:41
That's my current project;
it will be my next book.
it will be my next book.
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1216232
3443
Veliko je razlogov, zakaj se v eno osebo zaljubite raje kot v drugo.
20:45
There's all kinds of reasons
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1220262
1539
20:46
that you fall in love
with one person rather than another.
with one person rather than another.
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2753
Pomemben je čas. Bližina je pomembna.
20:49
Timing is important.
Proximity is important.
Proximity is important.
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1224602
3286
Skrivnostnost je pomembna. Zaljubite se v nekoga, ki je nekako skrivnosten,
20:52
Mystery is important.
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1380
20:54
You fall in love with somebody
who's somewhat mysterious,
who's somewhat mysterious,
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1229316
2729
delno zaradi tega, ker skrivnostnost zviša dopamin v možganih,
20:56
in part because mystery
elevates dopamine in the brain,
elevates dopamine in the brain,
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2678
verjetno vas potisne čez prag za zaljubljenost.
20:59
probably pushes you
over that threshold to fall in love.
over that threshold to fall in love.
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2766
Zaljubite se v nekoga, ki ustreza nečemu, čemur pravim vaš "ljubezenski zemljevid",
21:02
You fall in love with somebody
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21:03
who fits within
what I call your "love map,"
what I call your "love map,"
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2095
nezavedni seznam lastnosti, ki ga naredite v otroštvu, ko odraščate.
21:05
an unconscious list of traits
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2147
21:08
that you build in childhood
as you grow up.
as you grow up.
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2314
In mislim, da tudi postanete --
21:10
And I also think
that you gravitate to certain people,
that you gravitate to certain people,
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1245642
3042
privlačijo vas taki ljudje, s katerimi imate nekako skladne možganske sisteme.
21:13
actually, with somewhat
complementary brain systems.
complementary brain systems.
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1248708
3268
21:16
And that's what I'm now
contributing to this.
contributing to this.
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1252000
2287
In to je moj zdajšnji doprinos.
Ampak rada bi vam povedala zgodbo -- za ilustracijo.
21:19
But I want to tell you
a story, to illustrate.
a story, to illustrate.
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1254311
3665
21:22
I've been carrying on here
about the biology of love.
about the biology of love.
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1258000
2976
Stalno govorim o biologiji ljubezni.
Želela bi vam pokazati tudi malo kulture,
21:26
I wanted to show you a little bit
about the culture of it, too,
about the culture of it, too,
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3687
njeno čarobnost.
21:30
the magic of it.
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1167
21:32
It's a story that was told to me
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3349
To je zgodba, ki mi jo je povedal nekdo, ki jo je slišal od nekoga;
21:36
by somebody who had
heard it just from one --
heard it just from one --
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2461
verjetno resnična zgodba.
21:38
probably a true story.
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1273858
1118
Bil je študent na - jaz sem na Rutgers in moja dva kolega -
21:41
It was a graduate student --
I'm at Rutgers and my two colleagues --
I'm at Rutgers and my two colleagues --
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1276508
3468
21:44
Art Aron is at SUNY Stony Brook.
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1280000
1976
Art Aaron je na SUNY Stonybrook.
21:46
That's where we put our people
in the MRI machine.
in the MRI machine.
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2371
Tam slikamo ljudi z MRI.
21:49
And this graduate student was madly
in love with another graduate student,
in love with another graduate student,
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1285000
4563
In ta študent je bil noro zaljubljen v drugo študentko,
ampak ona ni bila zaljubljena vanj.
21:54
and she was not in love with him.
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1289587
2373
Bili so na konferenci v Pekingu.
21:58
And they were
all at a conference in Beijing.
all at a conference in Beijing.
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1293206
2255
Iz našega dela je vedel, da če naredite nekaj popolnoma novega z nekom,
22:01
And he knew from our work
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3034
22:04
that if you go and do something
very novel with somebody,
very novel with somebody,
420
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4408
mu lahko zvišate dopamin v možganih.
22:08
you can drive up
the dopamine in the brain,
the dopamine in the brain,
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1303975
2001
22:10
and perhaps trigger this brain
system for romantic love.
system for romantic love.
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1306000
3693
In mogoče zaženete možganski sistem za romantično ljubezen. (smeh)
22:14
(Laughter)
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2157
Tako se je odločil, da bo izkoristil znanost.
22:16
So he decided he'd put science to work.
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3886
Dekle je povabil na skupno vožnjo z rikšo.
22:21
And he invited this girl to go off
on a rickshaw ride with him.
on a rickshaw ride with him.
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3334
22:25
And sure enough -- I've never been in one,
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2069
Jaz se nisem še nikoli peljala z rikšo,
22:27
but apparently they go
all around the buses and the trucks
all around the buses and the trucks
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1322902
2738
ampak zgleda, da gredo okrog avtobusov in tovornjakov,
da je noro, glasno in razburljivo.
22:30
and it's crazy and it's noisy
and it's exciting.
and it's exciting.
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1325664
2818
Mislil je, da ji bo tako dvignil vrednost dopamina
22:33
He figured that this would drive up
the dopamine,
the dopamine,
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1328506
2286
in se bo zaljubila vanj.
22:35
and she'd fall in love with him.
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1330816
1532
Tako sta šla in ona je kričala, se stiskala,
22:37
So off they go and she's squealing
and squeezing him
and squeezing him
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1332372
4974
se smejala in uživala.
22:42
and laughing and having a wonderful time.
432
1337370
2517
22:44
An hour later they get down
off of the rickshaw,
off of the rickshaw,
433
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3539
Ko sta po eni uri stopila z rikše,
22:48
and she throws her hands up and she says,
434
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3580
je vrgla roke v zrak in rekla: "Kaj ni bilo čudovito?"
22:51
"Wasn't that wonderful?"
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2312
in "Kako je bil ta voznik rikše čeden!"
22:54
And, "Wasn't that rickshaw
driver handsome!"
driver handsome!"
436
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3414
22:57
(Laughter)
437
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3069
(smeh) (aplavz)
23:00
(Applause)
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6031
23:06
There's magic to love!
439
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1162
V ljubezni je čarovnija!
23:07
(Applause)
440
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1611
Končala pa bom z mislijo, da smo milijone let nazaj razvili tri osnovne sle:
23:09
But I will end by saying
that millions of years ago,
that millions of years ago,
441
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3620
23:13
we evolved three basic drives:
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2332
spolno slo, romantično ljubezen in navezanost na dolgoročnega partnerja.
23:15
the sex drive, romantic love
443
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2519
23:18
and attachment to a long-term partner.
444
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Ti sklopi so globoko vgrajeni v človeške možgane.
23:20
These circuits are deeply
embedded in the human brain.
embedded in the human brain.
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3079
Preživeli bodo toliko, kolikor bo preživela naša vrsta
23:24
They're going to survive
as long as our species survives
as long as our species survives
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4403
v "tem težkem življenju", kot je rekel Shakespeare.
23:28
on what Shakespeare called
"this mortal coil."
"this mortal coil."
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Hvala. (aplavz)
23:31
Thank you.
448
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23:32
Chris Anderson: Helen Fisher!
449
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23:33
(Applause)
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ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Helen Fisher - Anthropologist, expert on loveAnthropologist Helen Fisher studies gender differences and the evolution of human emotions. She’s best known as an expert on romantic love.
Why you should listen
Fisher's several books lay bare the mysteries of our most treasured emotion: its evolution, its biochemical foundations and its vital importance to human society. Fisher describes love as a universal human drive (stronger than the sex drive; stronger than thirst or hunger; stronger perhaps than the will to live), and her many areas of inquiry shed light on timeless human mysteries like why we choose one partner over another. Her classic study, Anatomy of Love, first published in 1992, has just been re-issued in a fully updated edition, including her recent neuroimaging research on lust, romantic love and attachment as well as discussions of sexting, hooking up, friends with benefits, other contemporary trends in courtship and marriage, and a dramatic current trend she calls “slow love.”
Helen Fisher | Speaker | TED.com