Lidia Yuknavitch: The beauty of being a misfit
Lidia Yuknavitch: Ljepota "autsajdera"
In her acclaimed novels and memoir, author Lidia Yuknavitch navigates the intersection of tragedy and violence to draw new roadmaps for self-discovery. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
of things that are big,
about something very small.
because it's so literal.
jer je tako bukvalna.
who sort of missed fitting in.
na nekin način zakasnila uklopiti.
misfits in the room,
autsajdera u ovoj prostoriji,
came right to my doorstep.
došao mi je na vrata.
I'd won a giant literary prize
sam osvojila veliku književnu nagradu
as a competitive swimmer
o mom životu kao plivačice
and loss can make you insane.
gubitka možete izgubiti razum.
to meet big-time editors and agents
susret s poznatim urednicima i agentima
writer's dream, right?
sna mladog pisca, zar ne?
the letter came to my house?
tog dana kada sam primila pismo?
for an entire day,
I'd already screwed my life up.
do sada već upropastila život.
failed marriages underneath my belt.
not once but twice
sam odustala od faksa,
that I'm not going to tell you about.
neću vam pričati o tome.
of rehab for drug use.
staycations in jail.
I think, I was a misfit,
mislim da sam autsajder
the day she was born,
istog dana kada se i rodila
how to live with that story yet.
I also spent a long time homeless,
dugo sam bila beskućnik,
of zombie grief and loss
are some of our most heroic misfits,
najhrabriji autsajderi
to just about every category out there:
ni u jednu kategoriju koja postoji:
sad stone in my throat.
that I got on that plane
sama sebi sjela na avion
see your heads glowing.
famous writers you wanted to meet,
pisca koja želite upoznati
and found them for you.
late in the night
and smart and swank, too.
i vi super i pametni i elegantni.
of editors and authors and agents
pisaca i agenata
I stole three linen napkins --
tri platnene salvete
so that when I got home,
suvenire da, kad dođem kući,
happened to me.
and Peggy Phelan.
Lynne Tillman i Peggy Phelan.
best-selling authors,
najprodavanije spisateljice,
među spisateljicama.
that later became my art bible.
koja je postala moja Biblija umjetnosti.
permission to believe
my stories could be part of the world.
could be more important than my boobs.
biti važniji od mojih sisa.
through the mainstream
water cut the Grand Canyon.
over-50-year-old women writers.
spisateljice starije od 50 godina.
killed me with joy
umrla od sreće je taj
in New York I wanted to die there.
htjela tamo umrijeti.
I'm good. This is beautiful."
Dobro sam. Ovo je prekrasno."
will understand what happened next.
što se sljedeće dogodilo.
of Farrar, Straus and Giroux.
Farrar, Straus i Girouxa.
was like my mega-dream press.
mi bili izdavači iz snova.
were published there.
T. S. Elliota i Flannery O'Connor.
and talked to me for a long time,
dugo razgovarao sa mnom,
da mogu napisati knjigu
like a numb idiot,
kimala glavom poput idiota,
came out of my throat.
on the shoulder
to the offices of W.W. Norton,
I'd be escorted from the building
and touching the moon
prema noćnom nebu i dotakla mjesec,
across the cosmos.
preko cijelog svemira.
a deal it was to me.
Carol Houck Smith,
with these beady, bright, fierce eyes
velikim, svijetlim, divljim očima
something then, immediately!"
especially TED people,
desetljeća da uopće zamislim
and licking a stamp.
kuvertu i lijepim markicu.
at the National Poetry Club.
u Nacionalnom klubu poezije.
Hoyt & Picard Literary Agency,
kuće Kidde, Hoyt & Picard,
like, on the spot.
ponudila da me zastupaju.
je utihnulo na trenutak.
were dressed so beautifully,
bili tako lijepo obučeni,
that small, sad stone in my throat ...
ona mala tužna knedla u mom grlu...
about people like me.
o ljudima poput mene.
how to hope or say yes
kako se nadati ili reći "da",
we deserve to be in the room
da zaslužujemo biti u istoj sobi
and I'd coach myself.
prošlost i poučila samu sebe.
over-50-year-old women who helped me.
od 50 godina koje su mi pomogle.
You belong in the room, too."
I ti pripadaš ovdje."
sam natrag u Oregon
and rain come back into view,
pojavljuje zimzeleno drveće i kiša,
of airplane "feel sorry for yourself."
"žalim samu sebe" napitka.
I was some kind of misfit writer.
onda sam neka autsajder spisateljica.
bez dogovora za knjigu,
and heart-ful of memories
I allowed myself.
nagrada koju sam si dopustila.
who tries to get you to shut up
nikoga tko te pokušava ušutkati
only you know how to tell."
koju samo ti možeš ispričati."
the woman over 50.
došlo u moj sandučić,
I've had to reinvent a self
koliko puta sam se morala uzdići
were really just weird-ass portals
neuspjesi bili samo jako čudni prolazi
was give voice to the story.
about following your dreams.
da treba slijediti svoje snove.
to reinvent yourself
or your job or your husband
ili posao, ili muža,
in the middle of your failure
usred svog neuspjeha
and phenomenal misfit,
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Lidia Yuknavitch - AuthorIn her acclaimed novels and memoir, author Lidia Yuknavitch navigates the intersection of tragedy and violence to draw new roadmaps for self-discovery.
Why you should listen
Writer Lidia Yuknavitch discovered her calling after an interrupted journey as a would-be Olympic swimmer. Her prose erases the boundaries between memoir and fiction, explodes gender binaries and focuses on the visceral minutiae of the body.
She was inspired by Ken Kesey (with whom she collaborated on a collective novel project at Oregon University); her latest book, The Small Backs of Children, stands as a fictional counterpoint to her memoir The Chronology of Water, which has garnered her a cult following for its honesty and intensity.
Lidia Yuknavitch | Speaker | TED.com