TED2008
Amy Tan: Where does creativity hide?
Ejmi Tan o stvaralaštvu
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Spisateljica Ejmi Tan prodire u dubine procesa stvaranja, tražeći nagoveštaje o tome kako se njena kreativnost razvila.
Amy Tan - Novelist
Amy Tan is the author of such beloved books as The Joy Luck Club, The Kitchen God's Wife and The Hundred Secret Senses. Full bio
Amy Tan is the author of such beloved books as The Joy Luck Club, The Kitchen God's Wife and The Hundred Secret Senses. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:18
The Value of Nothing: Out of Nothing Comes Something.
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Vrednost ničega: iz ničega nastaje nešto.
00:22
That was an essay I wrote when I was 11 years old
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To je bio sastav koji sam napisala kada mi je bilo 11 godina
00:26
and I got a B+. (Laughter)
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i dobila sam 4+. (Smeh)
00:28
What I'm going to talk about: nothing out of something, and how we create.
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O tome ću govoriti: ničemu iz nečega, i načinu na koji stvaramo.
00:32
And I'm gonna try and do that within
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I pokušaću da to uradim za
00:34
the 18-minute time span that we were told to stay within,
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18 minuta, koliko nam je rečeno da imamo,
00:39
and to follow the TED commandments:
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i da se držim TED-ovih zapovesti:
00:41
that is, actually, something that creates
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to je, zapravo, nešto što dovodi do
00:44
a near-death experience,
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iskustva sličnog smrti,
00:46
but near-death is good for creativity.
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ali prag smrti je dobar za stvaralaštvo.
00:48
(Laughter) OK.
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(Smeh) U redu.
00:52
So, I also want to explain,
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Dakle, takođe hoću da objasnim,
00:54
because Dave Eggers said he was going to heckle me
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zato što mi je Dejv Egers rekao da će dobacivati iz publike
00:57
if I said anything that was a lie, or not true to universal creativity.
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ukoliko kažem bilo kakvu laž, ili neistinu o univerzalnom stvaralaštvu.
01:02
And I've done it this way for half the audience, who is scientific.
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I to sam učinila na sledeći način za polovinu publike, koja je se bavi naukom.
01:05
When I say we, I don't mean you, necessarily;
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Kada kažem "mi", ne mislim nužno na vas;
01:09
I mean me, and my right brain, my left brain
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Mislim na sebe, i svoju desnu hemisferu, i svoju levu hemisferu,
01:12
and the one that's in between that is the censor
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i na ono što je između, a što je cenzor
01:14
and tells me what I'm saying is wrong.
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i što mi govori da je ono što govorim pogrešno.
01:16
And I'm going do that also by looking at
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I učiniću to razmatranjem
01:19
what I think is part of my creative process,
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onoga što smatram delom svog procesa stvaranja,
01:22
which includes a number of things that happened, actually --
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a što podrazumeva mnogo toga što se desilo, zapravo --
01:25
the nothing started even earlier than the moment
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ništa je počelo čak i pre trenutka
01:28
in which I'm creating something new.
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u kome ja stvaram nešto novo.
01:31
And that includes nature, and nurture,
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I u to su uključeni priroda i odgoj,
01:36
and what I refer to as nightmares.
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i ono što ja nazivam noćnim morama.
01:39
Now in the nature area, we look at whether or not
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Što se tiče prirode, ispitujemo da li smo ili ne
01:43
we are innately equipped with something, perhaps
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prirodno obdareni nečim, možda
01:46
in our brains, some abnormal chromosome
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u našem mozgu postoji neki abnormalni hromozom
01:49
that causes this muse-like effect.
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koji ima efekat sličan muzi.
01:53
And some people would say that we're born with it in some other means.
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I neki ljudi kažu da se rodimo sa tim na neki drugi način,
01:59
And others, like my mother,
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dok drugi, kao moja majka,
02:01
would say that I get my material from past lives.
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kažu da dobijamo materijal iz prošlih života.
02:07
Some people would also say that creativity
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Neki ljudi takođe kažu da stvaralaštvo
02:10
may be a function of some other neurological quirk --
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može biti funkcija nekog drugog neurološkog hira --
02:15
van Gogh syndrome -- that you have a little bit of, you know, psychosis, or depression.
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sindrom van Goga -- koga imate u malim količinama, kao što su psihoza ili depresija.
02:20
I do have to say, somebody -- I read recently
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Moram da kažem da neko -- skoro sam pročitala
02:23
that van Gogh wasn't really necessarily psychotic,
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da van Gog nije nužno patio od psihoza,
02:26
that he might have had temporal lobe seizures,
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da je moguće da je imao napade temporalnog režnja
02:28
and that might have caused his spurt of creativity, and I don't --
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i da je to izazivalo njegove izlive stvaralaštva, i ne znam --
02:32
I suppose it does something in some part of your brain.
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pretpostavljam da to utiče na nešto u nekim delovima mozga.
02:35
And I will mention that I actually developed
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I pomenuću da sam sam zapravo počela da patim od
02:37
temporal lobe seizures a number of years ago,
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napada temporalnog režnja pre mnogo godina,
02:41
but it was during the time I was writing my last book,
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a u to vreme sam pisala svoju poslednju knjigu,
02:44
and some people say that book is quite different.
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za koju neki ljudi kažu da je prilično drugačija.
02:48
I think that part of it also begins with a sense of identity crisis:
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Mislim da to delimično počinje i sa osećanjem krize identiteta:
02:53
you know, who am I, why am I this particular person,
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znate, ko sam, zašto sam ja baš ono što jesam,
02:57
why am I not black like everybody else?
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zašto nisam crna kao svi ostali?
03:02
And sometimes you're equipped with skills,
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I ponekad ste obdareni veštinama,
03:04
but they may not be the kind of skills that enable creativity.
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ali to možda nisu veštine koje omogućavaju stvaralaštvo.
03:08
I used to draw. I thought I would be an artist.
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Nekada sam crtala. Mislila sam da ću biti umetnik.
03:11
And I had a miniature poodle.
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I imala sam minijaturnu pudlu.
03:13
And it wasn't bad, but it wasn't really creative.
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I to nije bilo loše, ali nije bilo ni preterano kreativno.
03:15
Because all I could really do was represent in a very one-on-one way.
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Jer sve što sam umela svodilo se na precrtavanje.
03:20
And I have a sense that I probably copied this from a book.
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I imam osećaj da sam ovo verovatno precrtala iz knjige.
03:24
And then, I also wasn't really shining in a certain area that I wanted to be,
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Takođe, nisam baš blistala u izvesnoj oblasti u kojoj sam želela,
03:30
and you know, you look at those scores, and it wasn't bad,
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i znate, pogledate rezultate i to nije loše,
03:34
but it was not certainly predictive that I would one day make
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ali svakako nije ni davalo znakove da ću jednog dana
03:38
my living out of the artful arrangement of words.
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zarađivati od umetničkog raspoređivanja reči.
03:42
Also, one of the principles of creativity is to have a little childhood trauma.
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Takođe, jedan od principa stvaralaštva jeste posedovanje male traume iz detinjstva.
03:48
And I had the usual kind that I think a lot of people had,
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I ja sam imala onu uobičajenu, koju verujem da mnogi ljudi imaju,
03:52
and that is that, you know, I had expectations placed on me.
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a to je da su pred mene stavljena izvesna očekivanja.
03:56
That figure right there, by the way,
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Uzgred, ta slika tamo,
03:59
figure right there was a toy given to me when I was but nine years old,
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to je igračka koju sam dobila kada mi je bilo 9 godina
04:04
and it was to help me become a doctor from a very early age.
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i trebalo je da mi pomogne još od malena da postanem lekar.
04:09
I have some ones that were long lasting: from the age of five to 15,
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Imam i neke koje su dugo trajale: od pete do petnaeste godine,
04:14
this was supposed to be my side occupation,
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ovo je trebalo da bude moje sporedno zanimanje
04:17
and it led to a sense of failure.
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i ono je zaslužno za osećanje neuspeha.
04:20
But actually, there was something quite real in my life
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Ali zapravo, postojalo je nešto prilično stvarno u mom životu
04:23
that happened when I was about 14.
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što se desilo kad mi je bilo 14 godina.
04:25
And it was discovered that my brother, in 1967, and then my father,
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1967. otkriveno je da moj brat ima tumor na mozgu,
04:30
six months later, had brain tumors.
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a šest meseci kasnije, da ga ima i moj otac.
04:32
And my mother believed that something had gone wrong,
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Moja majka je verovala da je nešto krenulo naopako,
04:37
and she was gonna find out what it was, and she was gonna fix it.
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i da će ona saznati šta je to bilo. I da će to popraviti.
04:40
My father was a Baptist minister, and he believed in miracles,
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Moj otac je bio baptistički sveštenik i verovao je u čuda,
04:44
and that God's will would take care of that.
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i da će se to srediti Božijom voljom.
04:47
But, of course, they ended up dying, six months apart.
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Ali naravno, na kraju su, u razmaku od 6 meseci, obojica umrla.
04:50
And after that, my mother believed that it was fate, or curses
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Nakon toga, moja majka je verovala da je to bila sudbina, ili prokletstvo
04:54
-- she went looking through all the reasons in the universe
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-- razmotrila je sve razloge na svetu
04:57
why this would have happened.
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zbog kojih se to moglo desiti.
04:59
Everything except randomness. She did not believe in randomness.
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Sve osim nasumičnosti. Nije verovala u nasumičnost.
05:04
There was a reason for everything.
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Za sve je postojao razlog.
05:06
And one of the reasons, she thought, was that her mother,
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I jedan od razloga, mislila je ona, je taj što je njena majka,
05:08
who had died when she was very young, was angry at her.
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koja je umrla kada je ona bila veoma mlada, bila ljuta na nju.
05:13
And so, I had this notion of death all around me,
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I tako je ta ideja o smrti bila svuda oko mene
05:16
because my mother also believed that I would be next, and she would be next.
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jer je moja majka takođe verovala da ću ja biti sledeća, a zatim i ona.
05:21
And when you are faced with the prospect of death very soon,
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A kada ste suočeni sa očekivanjem smrti veoma rano,
05:24
you begin to think very much about everything.
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počinjete puno da razmišljate o svemu.
05:29
You become very creative, in a survival sense.
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Postanete veoma kreativni, u smislu opstanka.
05:33
And this, then, led to my big questions.
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I to je, zatim, dovelo do mojih velikih pitanja.
05:37
And they're the same ones that I have today.
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I to su ista pitanja koja i danas imam.
05:40
And they are: why do things happen, and how do things happen?
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To su: zašto se stvari dešavaju i kako se dešavaju?
05:45
And the one my mother asked: how do I make things happen?
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I ono koje je postavila moja majka: kako da učinim da se nešto desi?
05:52
It's a wonderful way to look at these questions, when you write a story.
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Divno je razmišljati o ovim pitanjima kada pišete priču.
05:57
Because, after all, in that framework, between page one and 300,
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Jer, na kraju krajeva, sa tim pogledom, između strane 1 i 300,
06:03
you have to answer this question of why things happen, how things happen,
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morate da odgovorite na pitanje o tome zašto se nešto dešava, kako se dešava,
06:07
in what order they happen. What are the influences?
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kojim redosledom se dešava. Šta na to utiče?
06:10
How do I, as the narrator, as the writer, also influence that?
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Kako ja, kao pripovedač i pisac, utičem na njih?
06:14
And it's also one that, I think, many of our scientists have been asking.
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Mislim da se to pitaju i mnogi naučnici.
06:18
It's a kind of cosmology, and I have to develop a cosmology of my own universe,
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To je poput kosmologije, a moram razviti kosmologiju sopstvenog svemira,
06:24
as the creator of that universe.
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kao neko ko je taj svemir stvorio.
06:26
And you see, there's a lot of back and forth
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Kao što vidite, tu je puno premišljanja,
06:30
in trying to make that happen, trying to figure it out
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pokušaja da se to postigne, pokušaja da se to dokuči
06:33
-- years and years, oftentimes.
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-- često su potrebne godine i godine.
06:37
So, when I look at creativity, I also think that it is this sense or this inability
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Kada pogledam stvaralaštvo, takođe mislim da ono predstavlja moju nemogućnost
06:44
to repress, my looking at associations in practically anything in life.
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da potisnem asocijacije vezane za gotovo bilo šta u životu.
06:48
And I got a lot of them during what's been going on
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A imala sam ih mnogo tokom svega što se dešavalo
06:52
throughout this conference,
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na ovoj konferenciji,
06:55
almost everything that's been going on.
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svega što se uopšte dešavalo.
06:57
And so I'm going to use, as the metaphor, this association:
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Upotrebiću sledeću asocijaciju kao metaforu:
07:01
quantum mechanics, which I really don't understand,
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kvantna mehanika, koju ja stvarno ne razumem,
07:05
but I'm still gonna use it as the process
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ali ću je ipak upotrebiti
07:07
for explaining how it is the metaphor.
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da bih objasnila metaforu.
07:11
So, in quantum mechanics, of course, you have dark energy and dark matter.
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Dakle, u kvantnoj mehanici imate crnu energiju i crnu materiju.
07:18
And it's the same thing in looking at these questions of how things happen.
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A isto važi i za pitanja o tome kako se stvari dešavaju.
07:22
There's a lot of unknown, and you often don't know what it is except by its absence.
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Ima puno toga nepoznatog, što često spoznajemo samo kroz njegovo odsustvo.
07:28
But when you make those associations,
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Ali kada stvorite te asocijacije,
07:30
you want them to come together in a kind of synergy in the story,
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želite da se one spoje u neku vrstu sinergije u priči,
07:34
and what you're finding is what matters. The meaning.
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i otkrivate ono što je bitno. Značenje.
07:38
And that's what I look for in my work, a personal meaning.
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I to je ono što ja tražim u svom radu - lično značenje.
07:42
There is also the uncertainty principle, which is part of quantum mechanics,
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Tu je, takođe, i princip neizvesnosti, koji je deo kvantne mehanike,
07:47
as I understand it. (Laughter)
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koliko sam razumela. (Smeh)
07:49
And this happens constantly in the writing.
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I to se konstantno dešava u pisanju.
07:53
And there's the terrible and dreaded observer effect,
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Tu je i užasni i efekat posmatrača, koga se svi boje,
07:56
in which you're looking for something, and
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gde tražite nešto i
07:58
you know, things are happening simultaneously,
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znate, stvari se dešavaju istovremeno,
08:01
and you're looking at it in a different way,
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a vi ih posmatrate na drugačiji način
08:03
and you're trying to really look for the about-ness,
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i pokušavate da zaista pronađete smisao.
08:07
or what is this story about. And if you try too hard,
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Ili o čemu se radi u toj priči. Ali, ako se previše trudite
08:11
then you will only write the about.
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napisaćete samo o čemu se tu radi.
08:14
You won't discover anything.
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Nećete otkriti ništa.
08:17
And what you were supposed to find,
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A ono što je trebalo da nađete,
08:19
what you hoped to find in some serendipitous way,
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što ste se nadali da ćete naći, pukom srećom,
08:22
is no longer there.
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više nije tamo.
08:25
Now, I don't want to ignore
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Ne bih želela da izostavim
08:27
the other side of what happens in our universe,
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drugu stranu onoga što se dešava u našem kosmosu,
08:30
like many of our scientists have.
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kao što to čine mnogi naučnici.
08:33
And so, I am going to just throw in string theory here,
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I zato ću ovde ubaciti teoriju strune
08:36
and just say that creative people are multidimensional,
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i reći da su kreativni ljudi multidimenzionalni
08:39
and there are 11 levels, I think, of anxiety.
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i da postoji, čini mi se, jedanaest nivoa anksioznosti.
08:43
(Laughter) And they all operate at the same time.
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(Smeh) I svi oni deluju istovremeno.
08:47
There is also a big question of ambiguity.
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Tu je i veliko pitanje dvosmislenosti.
08:50
And I would link that to something called the cosmological constant.
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To bih povezala sa nečim što se zove kosmološka konstanta.
08:56
And you don't know what is operating, but something is operating there.
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I ne zna se šta deluje, ali tamo nešto deluje.
08:58
And ambiguity, to me, is very uncomfortable
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Dvosmislenost je, za mene, vrlo neugodna
09:02
in my life, and I have it. Moral ambiguity.
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stvar u životu, jer je i sama imam. Moralnu dvosmislenost.
09:05
It is constantly there. And, just as an example,
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Ona je stalno tu. I kao primer, navešću
09:09
this is one that recently came to me.
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jednu skorašnju.
09:12
It was something I read in an editorial by a woman
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Bilo je to nešto što sam pročitala u uvodnom članku jedne žene
09:14
who was talking about the war in Iraq. And she said,
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koja je govorila o ratu u Iraku. Ona je rekla:
09:18
"Save a man from drowning, you are responsible to him for life."
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"Spasi čoveka od davljenja i doživotno si odgovoran za njega".
09:21
A very famous Chinese saying, she said.
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To je veoma poznata kineska izreka, rekla je.
09:24
And that means because we went into Iraq, we should stay there
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A to znači da bi, pošto smo išli u Irak, trebalo da tamo ostanemo
09:28
until things were solved. You know, maybe even 100 years.
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dok se stvari ne reše. Znate, možda čak i 100 godina.
09:32
So, there was another one that I came across,
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Naišla sam na još jednu
09:37
and it's "saving fish from drowning."
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koja kaže "spašavanje ribe od davljenja."
09:40
And it's what Buddhist fishermen say,
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I to je nešto što budistički ribari kažu,
09:42
because they're not supposed to kill anything.
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jer ne bi trebalo ništa da ubijaju.
09:45
And they also have to make a living, and people need to be fed.
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Ali oni moraju i da zarade za život, a ljudi se moraju prehraniti.
09:48
So their way of rationalizing that is they are saving the fish from drowning,
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Stoga je njihov način racionalizacije taj da spašavaju ribu od davljenja,
09:52
and unfortunately, in the process the fish die.
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a, nažalost, riba u tom procesu ugine.
09:55
Now, what's encapsulated in both these drowning metaphors
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Ono što se nalazi u obema metaforama davljenja
10:00
-- actually, one of them is my mother's interpretation,
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-- zapravo, jedna od njih je interpretacija moje majke
10:03
and it is a famous Chinese saying, because she said it to me:
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i to je poznata kineska izreka koju mi je ona rekla:
10:06
"save a man from drowning, you are responsible to him for life."
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"Spasi čoveka od davljenja i doživotno si odgovoran za njega".
10:09
And it was a warning -- don't get involved in other people's business,
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I to je bilo upozorenje -- ne mešaj se u tuđa posla,
10:13
or you're going to get stuck.
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ili ćeš zaglaviti.
10:15
OK. I think if somebody really was drowning, she'd save them.
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Dobro. Mislim, kada bi se neko stvarno davio, ona bi ga spasila.
10:19
But, both of these sayings -- saving a fish from drowning,
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Ali obe ove izreke, spašavanje ribe od davljenja,
10:23
or saving a man from drowning -- to me they had to do with intentions.
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ili spašavanje čoveka od davljenja, su za mene u vezi sa namerama.
10:27
And all of us in life, when we see a situation, we have a response.
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Svi mi, kada u životu vidimo situaciju, imamo odgovor.
10:32
And then we have intentions.
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A imamo i namere.
10:34
There's an ambiguity of what that should be that we should do,
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I postoji nedoumica oko toga šta bi trebalo da radimo
10:39
and then we do something.
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i onda nešto uradimo.
10:41
And the results of that may not match what our intentions had been.
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I ishod toga ne mora da se poklopi sa onim što su nam bile namere.
10:44
Maybe things go wrong. And so, after that, what are our responsibilities?
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Možda stvari krenu naopako. I onda, nakon toga, šta je naša odgovornost?
10:49
What are we supposed to do?
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Šta bi trebalo da uradimo?
10:51
Do we stay in for life,
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Da li ostajemo u nečemu doživotno,
10:53
or do we do something else and justify and say, well, my intentions were good,
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ili radimo nešto drugo i pravdamo se govoreći kako su nam namere bile dobre
10:58
and therefore I cannot be held responsible for all of it?
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i kako se, stoga, ne možemo smatrati odgovornim za sve?
11:04
That is the ambiguity in my life
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To je nedoumica u mom životu
11:06
that really disturbed me, and led me to write a book called
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koja me je zaista potresla i naterala da napišem knjigu
11:10
"Saving Fish From Drowning."
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"Spašavanje ribe od davljenja".
11:12
I saw examples of that. Once I identified this question, it was all over the place.
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Videla sam primere za ovo čim sam identifikovala pitanje. Bili su svuda.
11:19
I got these hints everywhere.
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U svemu sam videla nagoveštaje.
11:21
And then, in a way, I knew that they had always been there.
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I onda sam, na neki način znala da su oduvek bili tu.
11:24
And then writing, that's what happens. I get these hints, these clues,
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A pisanje, to se jednostavno desi. Vidim te nagoveštaje, tragove,
11:27
and I realize that they've been obvious, and yet they have not been.
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i shvatim da i jesu, i nisu bili očigledni.
11:34
And what I need, in effect, is a focus.
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I ono što mi je zapravo potrebno je fokus.
11:38
And when I have the question, it is a focus.
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A kada imam pitanje, onda je to fokus.
11:40
And all these things that seem to be flotsam and jetsam in life actually go through
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I sve ono za šta se čini da pluta i lebdi u životu zapravo prođe kroz
11:45
that question, and what happens is those particular things become relevant.
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to pitanje, i ono što se dešava postane relevantno.
11:50
And it seems like it's happening all the time.
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I čini se da se to dešava sve vreme.
11:52
You think there's a sort of coincidence going on, a serendipity,
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Pomislite da je u pitanju slučajnost, sreća,
11:55
in which you're getting all this help from the universe.
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pa zbog toga dobijate svu tu pomoć od kosmosa.
11:58
And it may also be explained that now you have a focus.
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Ali to se može objasniti i time što imate fokus.
12:01
And you are noticing it more often.
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I sve češće to primećujete.
12:05
But you apply this.
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Ali, ako to sada primenimo.
12:08
You begin to look at things having to do with your tensions.
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Počinjete da posmatrate stvari vezane za vašu napetost.
12:11
Your brother, who's fallen in trouble, do you take care of him?
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Vaš brat, koji je zapao u nevolje, da li se starate o njemu?
12:14
Why or why not?
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Zašto ili zašto ne?
12:16
It may be something that is perhaps more serious
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Može to biti i nešto ozbiljnije
12:20
-- as I said, human rights in Burma.
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-- kao što sam rekla, ljudska prava u Burmi.
12:23
I was thinking that I shouldn't go because somebody said, if I did, it would show
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Mislila sam da ne treba da odem jer je neko rekao kako bih time pokazala
12:27
that I approved of the military regime there.
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da podržavam tamošnji vojni režim.
12:30
And then, after a while, I had to ask myself,
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A onda sam se nakon izvesnog vremena zapitala,
12:33
"Why do we take on knowledge, why do we take on assumptions
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"Zašto preuzimamo znanje i pretpostavke
12:35
that other people have given us?"
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koje dolaze od drugih ljudi?"
12:38
And it was the same thing that I felt when I was growing up,
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Tako sam se osećala i dok sam odrastala
12:41
and was hearing these rules of moral conduct from my father,
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i slušala razna pravila moralnog ponašanja od svog oca,
12:46
who was a Baptist minister.
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koji je bio baptistički svečtenik.
12:48
So I decided that I would go to Burma for my own intentions,
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Tako sam odlučila da odem u Burmu zbog sopstvenih namera,
12:53
and still didn't know that if I went there,
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i dalje ne znajući ukoliko odem tamo,
12:56
what the result of that would be, if I wrote a book --
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šta će se desiti ukoliko napišem knjigu --
12:59
and I just would have to face that later, when the time came.
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i da ću sa time morati da se suočim naknadno, kada dođe vreme.
13:03
We are all concerned with things that we see in the world that we are aware of.
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Svi smo mi zabrinuti zbog stvari koje vidimo u svetu i kojih smo svesni.
13:08
We come to this point and say, what do I as an individual do?
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Dođemo do tačke kada pitamo šta mi, kao pojedinci, radimo.
13:13
Not all of us can go to Africa, or work at hospitals,
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Ne možemo svi otići u Afriku, ili raditi u bolnicama,
13:17
so what do we do, if we have this moral response, this feeling?
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ali šta da radimo ako imamo tu moralnu odgovornost, to osećanje?
13:24
Also, I think one of the biggest things we are all looking at,
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Takođe, jedna od najvažnijih stvari sa kojom smo suočeni
13:27
and we talked about today, is genocide.
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i o kojoj smo danas pričali jeste genocid.
13:30
This leads to this question.
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To otvara sledeće pitanje,
13:33
When I look at all these things that are morally ambiguous and uncomfortable,
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kada pogledam sve ono što je moralno dvosmisleno i neprijatno
13:38
and I consider what my intentions should be,
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i razmislim kakve bi moje namere trebalo da budu,
13:40
I realize it goes back to this identity question that I had when I was a child
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shvatam da to ima koren u pitanju identiteta koje sam imala kao dete
13:45
-- and why am I here, and what is the meaning of my life,
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-- i zašto sam ovde, i koja je svrha života,
13:48
and what is my place in the universe?
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i gde je moje mesto u svemiru.
13:50
It seems so obvious, and yet it is not.
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Čini se tako očiglednim, a zapravo nije.
13:53
We all hate moral ambiguity in some sense,
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Svi mi mrzimo moralne nedoumice na neki način,
13:58
and yet it is also absolutely necessary.
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a ipak, one su apsolutno neophodne.
14:02
In writing a story, it is the place where I begin.
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U pisanju, to je ono od čega ja počinjem.
14:06
Sometimes I get help from the universe, it seems.
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Nekada se čini da mi pomaže kosmos.
14:10
My mother would say it was the ghost of my grandmother from the very first book,
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Moja majka bi rekla da je to bio duh moje bake još od prve knjige,
14:13
because it seemed I knew things I was not supposed to know.
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jer se činilo da znam stvari koje u to vreme nije trebalo da znam.
14:16
Instead of writing that the grandmother died accidentally,
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Umesto da napišem kako je baka umrla slučajno,
14:19
from an overdose of opium, while having too much of a good time,
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predozirana opijumom dok se ludo zabavljala,
14:22
I actually put down in the story that the woman killed herself,
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ja sam u priči napisala da se žena ubila
14:27
and that actually was the way it happened.
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i to je ono što se stvarno desilo.
14:29
And my mother decided that that information must have come from my grandmother.
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I moja majka je smatrala da je ta informacija nužno potekla od moje bake.
14:34
There are also things, quite uncanny,
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Postoje i stvari, prilično nobične,
14:37
which bring me information that will help me in the writing of the book.
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koje mi daju informacije i pomažu u pisanju knjiga.
14:41
In this case, I was writing a story
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U ovom slučaju, pisala sam priču
14:43
that included some kind of detail, period of history, a certain location.
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koja je u sebi imala jedan detalj, istorijski period, određenu lokaciju.
14:47
And I needed to find something historically that would match that.
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I bilo mi je potrebno da saznam nešto što bi se istorijski poklapalo sa tim.
14:50
And I took down this book, and I --
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I uzela sam jednu knjigu, i --
14:52
first page that I flipped it to was exactly the setting, and the time period,
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prva strana koju sam okrenula bila je baš o toj lokaciji i periodu.
14:58
and the kind of character I needed -- was the Taiping rebellion,
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Trebao mi je lik iz ustanka u Taipingu,
15:01
happening in the area near Guilin, outside of that,
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koji se dogodio u oblasti blizu Guilina,
15:05
and a character who thought he was the son of God.
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lik koji je mislio da je Božiji sin.
15:08
You wonder, are these things random chance?
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Pitate se da li su ovakve stvari slučajnost?
15:11
Well, what is random? What is chance? What is luck?
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Pa, šta je nasumičnost? Šta je slučajnost? Šta je sreća?
15:15
What are things that you get from the universe that you can't really explain?
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Šta su sve te stvari koje dobijamo iz kosmosa, a koje ne možemo da objasnimo?
15:19
And that goes into the story, too.
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To je, takođe, deo priče.
15:21
These are the things I constantly think about from day to day.
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Postoje stvari o kojima stalno razmišljam.
15:24
Especially when good things happen,
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Naročito kada se lepe stvari dese,
15:26
and, in particular, when bad things happen.
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a posebno kada se ružne stvari dese.
15:30
But I do think there's a kind of serendipity,
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Ali mislim da svakako postoji slučajnost
15:32
and I do want to know what those elements are,
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i želim znati koji su to elementi,
15:35
so I can thank them, and also try to find them in my life.
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kako bih mogla da im zahvalim, ali i da ih pronađem tokom života.
15:40
Because, again, I think that when I am aware of them, more of them happen.
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Jer, smatram da kada sam ih svesna, onda se češče dešavaju.
15:44
Another chance encounter is when I went to a place
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Još jedan slučajni susret desio se kada sam otišla na jedno mesto
15:48
-- I just was with some friends, and we drove randomly to a different place,
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-- bila sam sa prijateljima i odvezli smo se, nasumično, na neko mesto
15:52
and we ended up in this non-tourist location,
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i završili na nekoj lokaciji koja nije turistička,
15:56
a beautiful village, pristine.
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u prelepom, starom selu.
15:58
And we walked three valleys beyond,
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Prešli smo tri doline iza njega,
16:00
and the third valley, there was something quite mysterious and ominous,
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i na trećoj je bilo nečeg misterioznog i zloslutnog,
16:03
a discomfort I felt. And then I knew that had to be [the] setting of my book.
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osetila sam neugodnost. I znala sam da to mora biti mesto radnje u mojoj knjizi.
16:09
And in writing one of the scenes, it happened in that third valley.
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Jedna od scena o kojoj sam pisala odigrala se u toj trećoj dolini.
16:12
For some reason I wrote about cairns -- stacks of rocks -- that a man was building.
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Iz nekog razloga pisala sam o kamenim formacijama koje je pravio čovek.
16:19
And I didn't know exactly why I had it, but it was so vivid.
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Nisam znala tačno zbog čega, ali slika je bila tako živopisna.
16:22
I got stuck, and a friend, when she asked if I would go for a walk with her dogs,
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Zapela sam i prijateljica me je pitala da li bih prošetala njene pse,
16:27
that I said, sure. And about 45 minutes later,
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na šta sam pristala. Oko 45 minuta kasnije,
16:30
walking along the beach, I came across this.
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šetajući plažom, naišla sam na ovo.
16:34
And it was a man, a Chinese man,
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To je bio čovek, Kinez,
16:36
and he was stacking these things, not with glue, not with anything.
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koji je slagao ove stvari, bez lepka, bez ičega.
16:39
And I asked him, "How is it possible to do this?"
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Pitala sam ga kako je moguće napraviti to.
16:42
And he said, "Well, I guess with everything in life, there's a place of balance."
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A on je rekao da kao i za sve u životu, postoji tačka ravnoteže.
16:46
And this was exactly the meaning of my story at that point.
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I upravo to je bila suština moje priče u tom trenutku.
16:51
I had so many examples -- I have so many instances like this, when I'm writing a story,
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Imala sam toliko primera -- imam toliko takvih primera kada pišem priču
16:56
and I cannot explain it.
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i ne mogu to da objasnim.
16:58
Is it because I had the filter that I have such a strong coincidence
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Da li imam filter za ovakve snažne slučajnosti
17:02
in writing about these things?
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dok pišem o tim stvarima?
17:05
Or is it a kind of serendipity that we cannot explain, like the cosmological constant?
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Ili je u pitanju slučajna sreća koju ne mogu da objasnim, kao kosmološka konstanta?
17:12
A big thing that I also think about is accidents.
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Još jedna stvar o kojoj razmišljam su nesreće.
17:15
And as I said, my mother did not believe in randomness.
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Kao što sam rekla, moja majka nije verovala u nasumičnost.
17:18
What is the nature of accidents?
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Koja je priroda nesreća?
17:20
And how are we going to assign what the responsibility and the causes are,
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I kako odrediti odgovornost i uzroke,
17:24
outside of a court of law?
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van suda?
17:27
I was able to see that in a firsthand way,
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Imala sam priliku da to vidim lično,
17:30
when I went to beautiful Dong village, in Guizhou, the poorest province of China.
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kada sam bila u prelepom selu Dong, u Guidžou, najsiromašnijoj oblasti u Kini.
17:36
And I saw this beautiful place. I knew I wanted to come back.
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I videla sam jedno divno mesto. Znala sam da želim da se vratim.
17:38
And I had a chance to do that, when National Geographic asked me
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I imala sam priliku da to uradim kada su me iz Nacionalne geografije pitali
17:41
if I wanted to write anything about China.
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da li hoću da napišem nešto o Kini.
17:43
And I said yes, about this village of singing people, singing minority.
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Rekla sam da hoću, o Singing manjini.
17:48
And they agreed, and between the time I saw this place and the next time I went,
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Oni su se složili, ali od prethodnog puta kada sam tamo bila
17:53
there was a terrible accident. A man, an old man, fell asleep,
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desila se strašna nesreća. Jedan starac je zaspao
17:57
and his quilt dropped in a pan of fire that kept him warm.
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i njegov pokrivač je upao u vatru koja ga je grejala.
18:00
60 homes were destroyed, and 40 were damaged.
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Šezdeset domova je uništeno, a 40 oštećeno.
18:06
Responsibility was assigned to the family.
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Odgovornost je bila na toj porodici.
18:08
The man's sons were banished to live three kilometers away, in a cowshed.
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Starčevi sinovi su prognani i žive u štali udaljenoj 3 km.
18:12
And, of course, as Westerners, we say, "Well, it was an accident. That's not fair.
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Naravno, kao zapadnjaci, mi kažemo: "Pa, to je bila nesreća. To nije fer.
18:16
It's the son, not the father."
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Kriv je otac, a ne sin."
18:18
When I go on a story, I have to let go of those kinds of beliefs.
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I kada pišem priču, moram da se otarasim takvih verovanja.
18:24
It takes a while, but I have to let go of them and just go there, and be there.
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Potrebno je vreme, ali moram da ih odbacim i jednostavno budem tamo.
18:28
And so I was there on three occasions, different seasons.
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I bila sam tamo triput, uvek u različito godišnje doba.
18:31
And I began to sense something different about the history,
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I počela sam da osećam nešto drugačije u vezi sa istorijom
18:35
and what had happened before, and the nature of life in a very poor village,
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i onim što se dešavalo pre, kao i životom u veoma siromašnom selu
18:39
and what you find as your joys, and your rituals, your traditions, your links
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i onime što neko smatra svojom radošću, ritualima, tradicijom, vezama
18:42
with other families. And I saw how this had a kind of justice, in its responsibility.
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sa drugim porodicama. I uvidela sam da postoji pravda u toj odgovornosti.
18:52
I was able to find out also about the ceremony that they were using,
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Saznala sam i o obredu koji imaju,
18:57
a ceremony they hadn't used in about 29 years. And it was to send some men
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obredu koji nisu koristili 29 godina. Služio je da pošalje neke ljude
19:05
-- a Feng Shui master sent men down to the underworld on ghost horses.
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-- majstor Feng Šuia je poslao neke ljude u podzemlje na avetinjskim konjima.
19:09
Now you, as Westerners, and I, as Westerners,
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Vi i ja, kao zapadnjaci
19:12
would say well, that's superstition. But after being there for a while,
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bismo rekli da je to sujeverje. Ali nakon nekog vremena provedenog tamo
19:15
and seeing the amazing things that happened,
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i neverovatnih stvari koje su se desile,
19:18
you begin to wonder whose beliefs are those that are in operation in the world,
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zapitate se čija verovanja važe u svetu
19:23
determining how things happen.
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i koja određuju kako se stvari dešavaju.
19:26
So I remained with them, and the more I wrote that story,
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I tako sam ostala sa njima, i što sam više pisala tu priču,
19:29
the more I got into those beliefs, and I think that's important for me
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to sam se više priklanjala tim verovanjima, i mislim da je bitno za mene
19:33
-- to take on the beliefs, because that is where the story is real,
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-- da preuzimam verovanja, jer tako priča postaje stvarna
19:36
and that is where I'm gonna find the answers
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i tu ću naći odgovore
19:38
to how I feel about certain questions that I have in life.
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na pitanja koja imam u životu.
19:43
Years go by, of course, and the writing, it doesn't happen instantly,
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Godine prolaze, naravno, i pisanje je dugotrajan proces,
19:46
as I'm trying to convey it to you here at TED.
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što pokušavam da objasnim i vama na TED konferenciji.
19:50
The book comes and it goes. When it arrives, it is no longer my book.
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Knjiga dođe i prođe. Kada je gotova, to više nije moja knjiga.
19:55
It is in the hands of readers, and they interpret it differently.
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Ona je u rukama čitalaca i svako je drugačije tumači.
19:59
But I go back to this question of, how do I create something out of nothing?
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Ali, ja se vratim na pitanje kako stvaram nešto ni iz čega.
20:05
And how do I create my own life?
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I kako stvorim sopstveni život?
20:08
And I think it is by questioning,
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Mislim da to činim preispitivanjem
20:10
and saying to myself that there are no absolute truths.
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i ubeđivanjem sebe u to da nema apsolutnih istina.
20:15
I believe in specifics, the specifics of story,
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Verujem u pojedinosti, pojedinosti priče;
20:19
and the past, the specifics of that past,
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u prošlost, pojedinosti prošlosti,
20:22
and what is happening in the story at that point.
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i ono što se u tom trenutku dešava u priči.
20:26
I also believe that in thinking about things --
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Takođe verujem da ću razmišljajući o stvarima,
20:29
my thinking about luck, and fate, and coincidences and accidents,
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o sreći, sudbini, slučajnosti i nesrećama,
20:33
God's will, and the synchrony of mysterious forces --
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Božijoj volji i sinhroniji misterioznih sila,
20:37
I will come to some notion of what that is, how we create.
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doći do neke ideje o tome kako stvaramo.
20:43
I have to think of my role. Where I am in the universe,
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Moram da razmišljam o svojoj ulozi. Gde sam u kosmosu
20:47
and did somebody intend for me to be that way, or is it just something I came up with?
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i da li sam ovakva po nečijem planu ili sam sama do toga došla?
20:52
And I also can find that by imagining fully, and becoming what is imagined --
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I do toga mogu doći kroz maštu i postajući ono što je izmišljeno,
21:00
and yet is in that real world, the fictional world.
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u stvarnom, odnosno imaginarnom svetu.
21:03
And that is how I find particles of truth, not the absolute truth, or the whole truth.
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I tako nalazim deliće istine, ne apsolutnu istinu, ne celu istinu.
21:11
And they have to be in all possibilities,
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I oni moraju biti u svim mogućnostima,
21:13
including those I never considered before.
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uključujući i one koje ranije nisam razmatrala.
21:16
So, there are never complete answers.
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Dakle, nema potpunih odgovora.
21:19
Or rather, if there is an answer, it is to remind
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Ili, ukoliko postoji odgovor, on služi da nas podseti
21:24
myself that there is uncertainty in everything,
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da postoji nesigurnost u svemu,
21:28
and that is good, because then I will discover something new.
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i to je dobro. Jer tada ću otkriti nešto novo.
21:33
And if there is a partial answer, a more complete answer from me,
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I ukoliko ima delimičnog odgovora, potpuniji odgovora je, po mom mičljenju,
21:37
it is to simply imagine.
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da jednostavno maštate.
21:40
And to imagine is to put myself in that story,
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Maštanjem stavljam sebe u priču,
21:44
until there was only -- there is a transparency between me and the story that I am creating.
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dok se potpuno ne stopim sa pričom koju stvaram.
21:50
And that's how I've discovered that if I feel what is in the story
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I tako sam otkrila da ukoliko osećam ono što je u priči
21:56
-- in one story -- then I come the closest, I think,
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-- u jednoj priči -- onda se približavam,
22:02
to knowing what compassion is, to feeling that compassion.
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saznanju o tome šta je saosećanje, osećanju saosećanja.
22:06
Because for everything,
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Sve vezano
22:08
in that question of how things happen, it has to do with the feeling.
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za pitanje kako se stvari dešavaju ima veze sa tim osećanjem.
22:12
I have to become the story in order to understand a lot of that.
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Moram postati priča da bih to razumela.
22:18
We've come to the end of the talk,
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Došli smo do kraja govora,
22:20
and I will reveal what is in the bag, and it is the muse,
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i ja ću otkriti šta je u torbi, a to je muza,
22:24
and it is the things that transform in our lives,
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i upravo one stvari koje menjaju naš život,
22:27
that are wonderful and stay with us.
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one koje su divne i koje ostaju sa nama.
22:37
There she is.
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Evo je.
22:38
Thank you very much!
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Hvala vam puno!
22:40
(Applause)
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(Aplauz)
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Amy Tan - NovelistAmy Tan is the author of such beloved books as The Joy Luck Club, The Kitchen God's Wife and The Hundred Secret Senses.
Why you should listen
Born in the US to immigrant parents from China, Amy Tan rejected her mother's expectations that she become a doctor and concert pianist. She chose to write fiction instead. Her much-loved, best-selling novels have been translated into 35 languages. In 2008, she wrote a libretto for The Bonesetter's Daughter, which premiered that September with the San Francisco Opera.
Tan was the creative consultant for Sagwa, the Emmy-nominated PBS series for children, and she has appeared as herself on The Simpsons. She's the lead rhythm dominatrix, backup singer and second tambourine with the Rock Bottom Remainders, a literary garage band that has raised more than a million dollars for literacy programs.
Amy Tan | Speaker | TED.com