TED2008
Amy Tan: Where does creativity hide?
譚恩美(Amy Tan)談創意
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小說家譚恩美(Amy Tan)深究創意過程，找出刺激她進化的動因
Amy Tan - Novelist
Amy Tan is the author of such beloved books as The Joy Luck Club, The Kitchen God's Wife and The Hundred Secret Senses. Full bio
Amy Tan is the author of such beloved books as The Joy Luck Club, The Kitchen God's Wife and The Hundred Secret Senses. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:18
The Value of Nothing: Out of Nothing Comes Something.
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無的價值：無中可以生有
00:22
That was an essay I wrote when I was 11 years old
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這是我在十一歲時寫的文章題目
00:26
and I got a B+. (Laughter)
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我得到了B+ (笑)
00:28
What I'm going to talk about: nothing out of something, and how we create.
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我要談的就是：我們要怎麼樣無中生有
00:32
And I'm gonna try and do that within
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我要試著在大會規定的
00:34
the 18-minute time span that we were told to stay within,
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18分鐘內完成這件事
00:39
and to follow the TED commandments:
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並且遵守TED的嚴格戒律
00:41
that is, actually, something that creates
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也就是實際上造成
00:44
a near-death experience,
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某種瀕死的體驗
00:46
but near-death is good for creativity.
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不過「瀕死」對創意是有益的
00:48
(Laughter) OK.
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(笑) 好
00:52
So, I also want to explain,
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所以我也會解釋
00:54
because Dave Eggers said he was going to heckle me
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因為戴夫艾格思說他會猛烈詰問我
00:57
if I said anything that was a lie, or not true to universal creativity.
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如果我說了任何謊話，或是不符合普遍的創意條件
01:02
And I've done it this way for half the audience, who is scientific.
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而且是對著將近一半是科學家的觀眾這麼說
01:05
When I say we, I don't mean you, necessarily;
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當我說我們的時候，我指的不必然包括你們
01:09
I mean me, and my right brain, my left brain
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我指的是我跟我的右腦跟左腦
01:12
and the one that's in between that is the censor
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而左右腦之間的是審查器
01:14
and tells me what I'm saying is wrong.
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它告訴我我說錯了什麼
01:16
And I'm going do that also by looking at
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我也會一併審視
01:19
what I think is part of my creative process,
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我認為屬於我創意過程中的一部份
01:22
which includes a number of things that happened, actually --
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包括許多發生過的事情，而事實上
01:25
the nothing started even earlier than the moment
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沒有別的事情在這之前發生
01:28
in which I'm creating something new.
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我正在創造新的東西
01:31
And that includes nature, and nurture,
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包括先天的跟後天的
01:36
and what I refer to as nightmares.
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我指得是噩夢
01:39
Now in the nature area, we look at whether or not
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先天的部份，我們要看看
01:43
we are innately equipped with something, perhaps
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我們自身是否俱備某種事物，或許...
01:46
in our brains, some abnormal chromosome
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在我們的腦裡，一些不正常的染色體
01:49
that causes this muse-like effect.
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會引發像是靈感的效果
01:53
And some people would say that we're born with it in some other means.
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有些人說我們天生就有靈感
01:59
And others, like my mother,
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其他人，像是我媽
02:01
would say that I get my material from past lives.
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會說我是從過去的的生活得到靈感
02:07
Some people would also say that creativity
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有些人也會說創意其實是
02:10
may be a function of some other neurological quirk --
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神經突然接錯線
02:15
van Gogh syndrome -- that you have a little bit of, you know, psychosis, or depression.
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某種梵谷症狀--當你有點，你知道，精神不正常，或是陷入低潮
02:20
I do have to say, somebody -- I read recently
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我得說，有種人--我最近在書上讀到
02:23
that van Gogh wasn't really necessarily psychotic,
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梵谷不見得是精神異常
02:26
that he might have had temporal lobe seizures,
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他可能有癲癇問題
02:28
and that might have caused his spurt of creativity, and I don't --
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那可能激發他創意湧現，而我--
02:32
I suppose it does something in some part of your brain.
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假設那會在你的腦中某個部位引發某作用
02:35
And I will mention that I actually developed
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我也會提到事實上我在幾年前
02:37
temporal lobe seizures a number of years ago,
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也有癲癇問題
02:41
but it was during the time I was writing my last book,
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就發生在我寫上一本書的時候
02:44
and some people say that book is quite different.
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有些人就說那本書讀起來挺不一樣
02:48
I think that part of it also begins with a sense of identity crisis:
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我認為其中一部份起因於認同的危機感：
02:53
you know, who am I, why am I this particular person,
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我是誰啊，我怎麼會那麼與眾不同，
02:57
why am I not black like everybody else?
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我到底是誰？為什麼膚色沒跟其他同學一樣黑？
03:02
And sometimes you're equipped with skills,
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有時候，你就是具備一些技能
03:04
but they may not be the kind of skills that enable creativity.
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但不是可以帶來創意的技能
03:08
I used to draw. I thought I would be an artist.
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我以前還會畫畫。我曾以為我會成為一個畫家
03:11
And I had a miniature poodle.
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這是我畫的迷你貴賓狗
03:13
And it wasn't bad, but it wasn't really creative.
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似乎還不壞，但實在算不上什麼創意
03:15
Because all I could really do was represent in a very one-on-one way.
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因為我所能做的不過是把它們一個個畫下來
03:20
And I have a sense that I probably copied this from a book.
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而且我想我可能還是從一本書上抄下來的
03:24
And then, I also wasn't really shining in a certain area that I wanted to be,
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當時我在我真正想要展現的領域以乎並不出色
03:30
and you know, you look at those scores, and it wasn't bad,
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你知道，你看著那些成績，是不差
03:34
but it was not certainly predictive that I would one day make
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但也絕不可能讓我預測到
03:38
my living out of the artful arrangement of words.
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有天我竟然能用寫作來謀生
03:42
Also, one of the principles of creativity is to have a little childhood trauma.
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創意的其中一項原則是擁有童年的心理創傷
03:48
And I had the usual kind that I think a lot of people had,
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我想我有的創傷和一般人一樣
03:52
and that is that, you know, I had expectations placed on me.
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你懂的，來自父母對子女過分熱切的期望
03:56
That figure right there, by the way,
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那具人體模型，順帶一提
03:59
figure right there was a toy given to me when I was but nine years old,
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是我在九歲的時候得到的一件玩具
04:04
and it was to help me become a doctor from a very early age.
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它是從小培養我想成為醫生的物品
04:09
I have some ones that were long lasting: from the age of five to 15,
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還有一些持續比較久的心理創傷：從五到十五歲
04:14
this was supposed to be my side occupation,
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成為一個鋼琴家理應變成我的第二職業
04:17
and it led to a sense of failure.
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但最終它只變成我感覺失敗的來源
04:20
But actually, there was something quite real in my life
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但事實上在我人生中是有一些真實的心理創傷
04:23
that happened when I was about 14.
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發生在我十四歲的時候
04:25
And it was discovered that my brother, in 1967, and then my father,
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就是發現我的兄弟，在1967年，然後我的父親
04:30
six months later, had brain tumors.
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六個月以後，雙雙長了腦瘤
04:32
And my mother believed that something had gone wrong,
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我母親相信有些事情出錯了
04:37
and she was gonna find out what it was, and she was gonna fix it.
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她想找出問題，然後解決它
04:40
My father was a Baptist minister, and he believed in miracles,
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我父親是個牧師，他相信神蹟
04:44
and that God's will would take care of that.
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他相信神會解決那些問題
04:47
But, of course, they ended up dying, six months apart.
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但當然，相隔六個月，他們都過世了
04:50
And after that, my mother believed that it was fate, or curses
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在那之後，我母親相信那是命運，是詛咒
04:54
-- she went looking through all the reasons in the universe
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她找遍了宇宙間所有可能的理由
04:57
why this would have happened.
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來解釋為什麼這件事會發生
04:59
Everything except randomness. She did not believe in randomness.
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除了偶然以外所有的理由。她不相信偶然
05:04
There was a reason for everything.
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每件事都有原因
05:06
And one of the reasons, she thought, was that her mother,
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她相信其中一件原因出自於她的母親
05:08
who had died when she was very young, was angry at her.
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她認為早年過世的母親一直怨恨她
05:13
And so, I had this notion of death all around me,
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所以我總被死亡的陰影籠罩著
05:16
because my mother also believed that I would be next, and she would be next.
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因為我母親還相信我會是下一個，或是她會是下一個
05:21
And when you are faced with the prospect of death very soon,
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當你面對死亡的時候
05:24
you begin to think very much about everything.
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你會開始認真思考每件事情
05:29
You become very creative, in a survival sense.
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從一種為了生存的角度來說，你開始非常有創造力，
05:33
And this, then, led to my big questions.
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這讓我想到一個大問題
05:37
And they're the same ones that I have today.
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一些我今日仍然在想的問題
05:40
And they are: why do things happen, and how do things happen?
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為什麼事情會發生，它們是怎麼發生的？
05:45
And the one my mother asked: how do I make things happen?
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和我母親問的那句：我如何讓這些事情發生的？
05:52
It's a wonderful way to look at these questions, when you write a story.
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在撰寫故事的時候，這都是一些很重要的問題
05:57
Because, after all, in that framework, between page one and 300,
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因為你必須在三百頁的篇幅中回答這些問題：
06:03
you have to answer this question of why things happen, how things happen,
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為什麼事情會這樣發生，它是怎麼發生的
06:07
in what order they happen. What are the influences?
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事情發生的順序和影響
06:10
How do I, as the narrator, as the writer, also influence that?
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我，身為一個敍述者，一個作者，對這個故事又有什麼影響？
06:14
And it's also one that, I think, many of our scientists have been asking.
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我想這也是所有科學家所問的問題
06:18
It's a kind of cosmology, and I have to develop a cosmology of my own universe,
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我在我的世界中發展出自己的宇宙觀
06:24
as the creator of that universe.
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像一個宇宙的創造者。
06:26
And you see, there's a lot of back and forth
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這中間有許多的反覆
06:30
in trying to make that happen, trying to figure it out
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嘗試著創造，嘗試著理出頭緒
06:33
-- years and years, oftentimes.
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年復一年，總是如此
06:37
So, when I look at creativity, I also think that it is this sense or this inability
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當我想到創作力的時候，我也認為這是因為我無法
06:44
to repress, my looking at associations in practically anything in life.
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壓抑對日常生活中幾乎每件事的看法。
06:48
And I got a lot of them during what's been going on
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我在許多事件發生時做觀察
06:52
throughout this conference,
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在這個大會中，
06:55
almost everything that's been going on.
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幾乎是所有發生的事情。
06:57
And so I'm going to use, as the metaphor, this association:
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讓我在這裡用量子力學做比喻：
07:01
quantum mechanics, which I really don't understand,
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雖然我並不理解量子力學，
07:05
but I'm still gonna use it as the process
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但我將以它做為一種過程
07:07
for explaining how it is the metaphor.
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來解釋為何它是個比喻。
07:11
So, in quantum mechanics, of course, you have dark energy and dark matter.
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在量子力學中，有著暗能量和暗物質。
07:18
And it's the same thing in looking at these questions of how things happen.
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就像我們嘗試解釋事情為何會發生的時候
07:22
There's a lot of unknown, and you often don't know what it is except by its absence.
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有許多未知，你不知道那是什麼，只知道它不在
07:28
But when you make those associations,
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但當你嘗試找出關聯性時
07:30
you want them to come together in a kind of synergy in the story,
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當你希望能在故事中把事件連接起來時而產生綜效時
07:34
and what you're finding is what matters. The meaning.
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你突然發現了事物的核心。它的意義。
07:38
And that's what I look for in my work, a personal meaning.
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這就是我在我的作品中所想要找尋的，對我而言的意義。
07:42
There is also the uncertainty principle, which is part of quantum mechanics,
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在量子力學中還有測不準原理，
07:47
as I understand it. (Laughter)
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至少我想是有的。（笑）
07:49
And this happens constantly in the writing.
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這也時常發生在寫作中。
07:53
And there's the terrible and dreaded observer effect,
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還有一種可怕的觀者效應，
07:56
in which you're looking for something, and
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當你在找尋一些事情的時候，
07:58
you know, things are happening simultaneously,
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那些同時發生的事情，
08:01
and you're looking at it in a different way,
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你嘗試用不同角度去看它，
08:03
and you're trying to really look for the about-ness,
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你嘗試找出它和其他事物的關聯性，
08:07
or what is this story about. And if you try too hard,
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或是這個故事和什麼有關。如果你過分強求，
08:11
then you will only write the about.
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最後你寫下的只是「關聯」。
08:14
You won't discover anything.
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卻什麼也沒發現。
08:17
And what you were supposed to find,
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而你應該找到的，
08:19
what you hoped to find in some serendipitous way,
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你真正希望能找到的，在無意中，
08:22
is no longer there.
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卻已經不在了。
08:25
Now, I don't want to ignore
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我並不想忽略
08:27
the other side of what happens in our universe,
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在宇宙另一邊發生的事，
08:30
like many of our scientists have.
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像一些科學家所做的一樣。
08:33
And so, I am going to just throw in string theory here,
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所以在這裡我也要順便談談弦理論，
08:36
and just say that creative people are multidimensional,
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證明創意人不僅是多面向的，
08:39
and there are 11 levels, I think, of anxiety.
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還有著十一種層次的焦慮。
08:43
(Laughter) And they all operate at the same time.
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（笑）而且它們全部一起發生。
08:47
There is also a big question of ambiguity.
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再來還有模棱兩可的問題。
08:50
And I would link that to something called the cosmological constant.
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像是你們說的宇宙常數。
08:56
And you don't know what is operating, but something is operating there.
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你不明白什麼在運作，但有些事情在運作。
08:58
And ambiguity, to me, is very uncomfortable
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模棱兩可是一種非常不舒服的感覺，對我的人生來說
09:02
in my life, and I have it. Moral ambiguity.
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但它仍然存在。道德的不確定性
09:05
It is constantly there. And, just as an example,
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總是存在著。舉例來說，
09:09
this is one that recently came to me.
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最近剛發生了一件事。
09:12
It was something I read in an editorial by a woman
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我讀到一篇由女性寫的報紙的社論
09:14
who was talking about the war in Iraq. And she said,
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內容是關於伊拉克戰爭時。她說，
09:18
"Save a man from drowning, you are responsible to him for life."
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「救一個溺水者，你便得為他的一生負責。」
09:21
A very famous Chinese saying, she said.
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她說這是一句很有名的中國諺語
09:24
And that means because we went into Iraq, we should stay there
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意味著既然我們進入了伊拉克，我們便應該長駐
09:28
until things were solved. You know, maybe even 100 years.
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直到事情解決。你知道，就算要上百年
09:32
So, there was another one that I came across,
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還有另一個例子
09:37
and it's "saving fish from drowning."
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就是「拯救溺水的魚」
09:40
And it's what Buddhist fishermen say,
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來自信仰佛教的漁夫們
09:42
because they're not supposed to kill anything.
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佛教徒基本上不該殺生
09:45
And they also have to make a living, and people need to be fed.
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但漁夫卻仍得謀生，養家
09:48
So their way of rationalizing that is they are saving the fish from drowning,
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為了將殺生合理化，他們聲稱自己是在救溺水的魚
09:52
and unfortunately, in the process the fish die.
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但魚不幸地在過程中死了。
09:55
Now, what's encapsulated in both these drowning metaphors
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暗藏在這兩個溺水故事中的比喻是
10:00
-- actually, one of them is my mother's interpretation,
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其中一個說法來自我母親
10:03
and it is a famous Chinese saying, because she said it to me:
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因為這是她對我說這是中國人常說的
10:06
"save a man from drowning, you are responsible to him for life."
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「救一個溺水者，你便得為他的一生負責。」
10:09
And it was a warning -- don't get involved in other people's business,
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那是一種警告：別管別人的閒事
10:13
or you're going to get stuck.
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免得被纏上
10:15
OK. I think if somebody really was drowning, she'd save them.
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但我想如果真的有人溺水的話，她還是會救他們的
10:19
But, both of these sayings -- saving a fish from drowning,
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但這兩種說法，不管是救溺水的魚，
10:23
or saving a man from drowning -- to me they had to do with intentions.
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還是溺水的人，這取決與你的意圖
10:27
And all of us in life, when we see a situation, we have a response.
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我們在人生中，都得對我們身邊發生的事情做出反應
10:32
And then we have intentions.
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懷抱著各自的意圖
10:34
There's an ambiguity of what that should be that we should do,
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在我們應該做的，和最後真正做了的兩者之間
10:39
and then we do something.
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有一些模棱兩可之處
10:41
And the results of that may not match what our intentions had been.
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而結果也不一定符合我們原本的意圖
10:44
Maybe things go wrong. And so, after that, what are our responsibilities?
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說不定事情搞砸了。若當如此，我們的責任又在哪？
10:49
What are we supposed to do?
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我們該怎麼做？
10:51
Do we stay in for life,
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我們該留下來負責
10:53
or do we do something else and justify and say, well, my intentions were good,
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還是嘗試合理化我們的行為，說，我的本意是好的
10:58
and therefore I cannot be held responsible for all of it?
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所以我不應當負全責？
11:04
That is the ambiguity in my life
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這便是我人生中很難接受的模棱兩可
11:06
that really disturbed me, and led me to write a book called
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甚至讓我因此寫了本書，就叫做
11:10
"Saving Fish From Drowning."
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拯救溺水的魚
11:12
I saw examples of that. Once I identified this question, it was all over the place.
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一旦你意識到這個問題，就發現它無所不在
11:19
I got these hints everywhere.
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在哪裡都能看到它的痕跡
11:21
And then, in a way, I knew that they had always been there.
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同時我也知道，它們一直都在那裡。
11:24
And then writing, that's what happens. I get these hints, these clues,
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在寫作上，我看見這些暗示，這些線索
11:27
and I realize that they've been obvious, and yet they have not been.
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我意識到它們一直都在那，但又隱身不見
11:34
And what I need, in effect, is a focus.
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我需要的是焦點
11:38
And when I have the question, it is a focus.
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當我有一個問題要問的時候，它就是一個焦點
11:40
And all these things that seem to be flotsam and jetsam in life actually go through
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那些在人生中的災難都會過去
11:45
that question, and what happens is those particular things become relevant.
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那個問題，和在那些事件中所發生的事都是有關聯的
11:50
And it seems like it's happening all the time.
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而且它無處不在，不停發生
11:52
You think there's a sort of coincidence going on, a serendipity,
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你以為它不過是偶發事件，或是碰巧發生的
11:55
in which you're getting all this help from the universe.
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或許是來自宇宙的幫忙
11:58
And it may also be explained that now you have a focus.
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也可以解釋成，心中有了焦點以後
12:01
And you are noticing it more often.
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你更能發現它的存在
12:05
But you apply this.
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當你開始應用它
12:08
You begin to look at things having to do with your tensions.
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你開始檢視那些令你緊張的事情
12:11
Your brother, who's fallen in trouble, do you take care of him?
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當你的兄弟遇上了麻煩，你該幫助他嗎？
12:14
Why or why not?
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為什麼要，又為什麼不要？
12:16
It may be something that is perhaps more serious
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它或許比你想像的更為嚴肅
12:20
-- as I said, human rights in Burma.
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像緬甸的人權問題
12:23
I was thinking that I shouldn't go because somebody said, if I did, it would show
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我本來想著我是否不應該去，因為有人告訴我
12:27
that I approved of the military regime there.
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我在那裡出現意味著我支持當地的軍權統治
12:30
And then, after a while, I had to ask myself,
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但一陣子以後，我自問
12:33
"Why do we take on knowledge, why do we take on assumptions
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「為什麼我們要在意他人對我們的想法，
12:35
that other people have given us?"
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或認知？」
12:38
And it was the same thing that I felt when I was growing up,
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這和我在成長過程中的感覺很像
12:41
and was hearing these rules of moral conduct from my father,
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我身為牧師的父親
12:46
who was a Baptist minister.
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給我們的所有規則和道德指標
12:48
So I decided that I would go to Burma for my own intentions,
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最後我決定照我自己的想法去緬甸
12:53
and still didn't know that if I went there,
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而我仍然不知道，到了那裡
12:56
what the result of that would be, if I wrote a book --
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寫一本書，結果又會如何
12:59
and I just would have to face that later, when the time came.
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但我只能等到時機出現的時候，再來面對這些問題
13:03
We are all concerned with things that we see in the world that we are aware of.
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我們總是在意這世界上我們所感知的事物
13:08
We come to this point and say, what do I as an individual do?
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我們對自己說：我能做什麼？
13:13
Not all of us can go to Africa, or work at hospitals,
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不是每個人都可以去非洲，或是在醫院工作
13:17
so what do we do, if we have this moral response, this feeling?
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那當我們產生這個道德感，我們該做什麼？
13:24
Also, I think one of the biggest things we are all looking at,
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我想今日我們都在關注的一個重要議題是
13:27
and we talked about today, is genocide.
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種族滅絕
13:30
This leads to this question.
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我們再次回到同樣的問題
13:33
When I look at all these things that are morally ambiguous and uncomfortable,
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當我遇見這些在道德上模棱兩可，讓我感覺不舒服的事件
13:38
and I consider what my intentions should be,
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我的心態又是如何？
13:40
I realize it goes back to this identity question that I had when I was a child
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我認知到這讓我再次回到孩提時所面臨的身份認同議題
13:45
-- and why am I here, and what is the meaning of my life,
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為什麼我在這裡，人生的意義是什麼
13:48
and what is my place in the universe?
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我在宇宙間的位置是什麼？
13:50
It seems so obvious, and yet it is not.
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這看起來似乎很明顯，但一點也不
13:53
We all hate moral ambiguity in some sense,
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我們都不喜歡道德上的不確定性
13:58
and yet it is also absolutely necessary.
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但這種不確定感確是絕對必要的
14:02
In writing a story, it is the place where I begin.
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在我寫作的時候，這便是我開始的地方
14:06
Sometimes I get help from the universe, it seems.
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有時候我似乎得到大宇宙的協助
14:10
My mother would say it was the ghost of my grandmother from the very first book,
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我母親說從第一本書開始，靈感就來自我祖母的鬼魂
14:13
because it seemed I knew things I was not supposed to know.
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因為我似乎知道許多我不應該知道的事
14:16
Instead of writing that the grandmother died accidentally,
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我沒有描寫我的祖母
14:19
from an overdose of opium, while having too much of a good time,
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是因為吃了過量的鴉片而意外過世的
14:22
I actually put down in the story that the woman killed herself,
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而在故事裡描寫那女人自殺了
14:27
and that actually was the way it happened.
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那卻才是真實發生的事
14:29
And my mother decided that that information must have come from my grandmother.
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我母親認為這些資訊一定來自我祖母的鬼魂。
14:34
There are also things, quite uncanny,
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除此以外，還有一些離奇的事件
14:37
which bring me information that will help me in the writing of the book.
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在寫作時為我帶來了不同的寫作資料
14:41
In this case, I was writing a story
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當時我正在寫一個古代的故事
14:43
that included some kind of detail, period of history, a certain location.
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書中包括那個年代的歷史和地理資料
14:47
And I needed to find something historically that would match that.
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而我需要找到這些歷史來補足故事中的細節
14:50
And I took down this book, and I --
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我從書架上拿下這本書
14:52
first page that I flipped it to was exactly the setting, and the time period,
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我翻開的第一頁便是我故事裡的時代和地點
14:58
and the kind of character I needed -- was the Taiping rebellion,
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和我在描寫太平天國時所需要的人物
15:01
happening in the area near Guilin, outside of that,
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在一個接近桂林的地方
15:05
and a character who thought he was the son of God.
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和一個認為他是神的兒子的人物。
15:08
You wonder, are these things random chance?
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你不禁想，這一切都是偶然的嗎？
15:11
Well, what is random? What is chance? What is luck?
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但偶然是什麼？機會是什麼？運氣又是什麼？
15:15
What are things that you get from the universe that you can't really explain?
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那些從天而降的靈感又是什麼？
15:19
And that goes into the story, too.
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這也成為故事的一部分
15:21
These are the things I constantly think about from day to day.
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這些是我每天都在思考的事情
15:24
Especially when good things happen,
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特別是好事發生時，
15:26
and, in particular, when bad things happen.
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有時候則是當壞事發生時。
15:30
But I do think there's a kind of serendipity,
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但我相信的確存在巧合
15:32
and I do want to know what those elements are,
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我想要知道那些元素是什麼，
15:35
so I can thank them, and also try to find them in my life.
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這樣我才能謝謝他們，並且試著在生命中尋找
15:40
Because, again, I think that when I am aware of them, more of them happen.
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因為我相信當我察覺他們的時候，就越會發生
15:44
Another chance encounter is when I went to a place
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另一個機遇是當我到某個地方
15:48
-- I just was with some friends, and we drove randomly to a different place,
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我只是跟一些朋友一起，沒目的地開到某個地方
15:52
and we ended up in this non-tourist location,
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我們停在遊客不會到的地點
15:56
a beautiful village, pristine.
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美麗的懷舊小村莊
15:58
And we walked three valleys beyond,
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我們走過三座溪谷
16:00
and the third valley, there was something quite mysterious and ominous,
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在第三個溪谷，我有些神秘的，不舒服的預感
16:03
a discomfort I felt. And then I knew that had to be [the] setting of my book.
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我知道這將成為我故事的場景。
16:09
And in writing one of the scenes, it happened in that third valley.
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故事裡的其中一幕便發生在第三個山谷
16:12
For some reason I wrote about cairns -- stacks of rocks -- that a man was building.
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其中一幕我寫到，一個男人，正擺著石堆
16:19
And I didn't know exactly why I had it, but it was so vivid.
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我不知道為什麼我這樣寫，但那景象很鮮明
16:22
I got stuck, and a friend, when she asked if I would go for a walk with her dogs,
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我陷入了困境，一個朋友問我要不要和她去遛狗
16:27
that I said, sure. And about 45 minutes later,
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我說好。四十五分鐘後
16:30
walking along the beach, I came across this.
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我在海灘上遇見了一個男子
16:34
And it was a man, a Chinese man,
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一個中國男子
16:36
and he was stacking these things, not with glue, not with anything.
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他正堆著這些東西。沒有膠水，沒有任何工具
16:39
And I asked him, "How is it possible to do this?"
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我問他，這怎麼可能？
16:42
And he said, "Well, I guess with everything in life, there's a place of balance."
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他說，世間每件事 都有一個平衡點
16:46
And this was exactly the meaning of my story at that point.
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那便是我故事裡所要講的重點
16:51
I had so many examples -- I have so many instances like this, when I'm writing a story,
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在我的寫作過程中 這樣的事時常發生
16:56
and I cannot explain it.
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我無法解釋
16:58
Is it because I had the filter that I have such a strong coincidence
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是否因為我有一種特殊的過濾法
17:02
in writing about these things?
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因為這些強烈的巧合正是我想寫的事？
17:05
Or is it a kind of serendipity that we cannot explain, like the cosmological constant?
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或是這真是一些我們所不能解釋的突發事件 從天而來？
17:12
A big thing that I also think about is accidents.
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我也時常想到意外
17:15
And as I said, my mother did not believe in randomness.
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如我所說 我母親從不相信偶然
17:18
What is the nature of accidents?
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那意外又是什麼？
17:20
And how are we going to assign what the responsibility and the causes are,
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對於那些法律以外的事件，我們又該如何處理面對
17:24
outside of a court of law?
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它們的責任歸屬？
17:27
I was able to see that in a firsthand way,
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我有一個切身的經驗
17:30
when I went to beautiful Dong village, in Guizhou, the poorest province of China.
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我曾經到中國最貧窮的貴州省裡的侗族
17:36
And I saw this beautiful place. I knew I wanted to come back.
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我看見這個美麗的地方 我知道我想再回來
17:38
And I had a chance to do that, when National Geographic asked me
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當國家地理雜誌問我想不想寫一些有關中國的文章
17:41
if I wanted to write anything about China.
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我知道我的機會來了
17:43
And I said yes, about this village of singing people, singing minority.
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我說好，我想寫這個唱歌的少數民族
17:48
And they agreed, and between the time I saw this place and the next time I went,
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它們同意了。就在我兩次拜訪中間
17:53
there was a terrible accident. A man, an old man, fell asleep,
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一個悲慘的意外發生了。一個老人
17:57
and his quilt dropped in a pan of fire that kept him warm.
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在睡眠中把被子掉在了暖爐上
18:00
60 homes were destroyed, and 40 were damaged.
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六十戶人家全毀，四十戶遭到損壞
18:06
Responsibility was assigned to the family.
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這個家庭被要求得擔負責任
18:08
The man's sons were banished to live three kilometers away, in a cowshed.
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老人的兒子被放逐到三公里外的牛棚
18:12
And, of course, as Westerners, we say, "Well, it was an accident. That's not fair.
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西方人會說：但那是個不過是個意外，這不公平
18:16
It's the son, not the father."
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父債不該子還
18:18
When I go on a story, I have to let go of those kinds of beliefs.
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但當我下筆寫這個故事的時候，我得放棄那些原來的想法
18:24
It takes a while, but I have to let go of them and just go there, and be there.
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這得花上一些時間，但是我必須克服自己，純粹得去那裡親身經歷。
18:28
And so I was there on three occasions, different seasons.
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所以我在不同的季節裡去了三次
18:31
And I began to sense something different about the history,
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在這個貧窮的村莊裡 我開始對歷史
18:35
and what had happened before, and the nature of life in a very poor village,
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之前發生的事件 和人生的本質 有了不同的感受
18:39
and what you find as your joys, and your rituals, your traditions, your links
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什麼是讓你感到快樂的，你的儀式, 你的傳統，我們和其他家庭產生關係的方式。
18:42
with other families. And I saw how this had a kind of justice, in its responsibility.
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我開始明白這樣的責任歸屬中，有它自己的正義。
18:52
I was able to find out also about the ceremony that they were using,
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我也開始瞭解他們使用的儀式。
18:57
a ceremony they hadn't used in about 29 years. And it was to send some men
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一個二十九年沒用過的儀式。
19:05
-- a Feng Shui master sent men down to the underworld on ghost horses.
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讓一個風水師送一些人 乘著鬼馬進陰間。
19:09
Now you, as Westerners, and I, as Westerners,
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你，身為一個西方人，如我，身為一個西方人，
19:12
would say well, that's superstition. But after being there for a while,
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會說：那不過是迷信。但在那裡待了一段時間以後，
19:15
and seeing the amazing things that happened,
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親眼見識到這些神奇的事，
19:18
you begin to wonder whose beliefs are those that are in operation in the world,
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你開始想，究竟是誰的信仰，運作在這個世界上，
19:23
determining how things happen.
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決定事情該如何發生。
19:26
So I remained with them, and the more I wrote that story,
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所以我決定留下來和他們一起 ，我寫的越多，
19:29
the more I got into those beliefs, and I think that's important for me
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我便越相信這些信仰，這對我來說是重要的
19:33
-- to take on the beliefs, because that is where the story is real,
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--去真正接受這些信仰，因為這樣，故事才能真實，
19:36
and that is where I'm gonna find the answers
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那便是我找到的答案
19:38
to how I feel about certain questions that I have in life.
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來解決我人生問題的地方。
19:43
Years go by, of course, and the writing, it doesn't happen instantly,
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隨著時間過去，我也寫了很多作品，但這不是在一瞬間發生的，
19:46
as I'm trying to convey it to you here at TED.
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在這裡，我想對你們說的是
19:50
The book comes and it goes. When it arrives, it is no longer my book.
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書來了又走。當它來到的時候，它已不再屬於我，
19:55
It is in the hands of readers, and they interpret it differently.
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而在每個讀者手中，他們有不同的解讀。
19:59
But I go back to this question of, how do I create something out of nothing?
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但我仍然回到同樣的問題，我如何無中生有？
20:05
And how do I create my own life?
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我如何創造自己的生命？
20:08
And I think it is by questioning,
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藉由對它提出問題，
20:10
and saying to myself that there are no absolute truths.
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並告訴我自己，世上沒有絕對真實。
20:15
I believe in specifics, the specifics of story,
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我相信那些具體的事，故事中的細節，
20:19
and the past, the specifics of that past,
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和往事，往事中的細節，
20:22
and what is happening in the story at that point.
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及當時故事中所發生的事。
20:26
I also believe that in thinking about things --
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我也相信，在我們考量著這些，
20:29
my thinking about luck, and fate, and coincidences and accidents,
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有關運氣 、命運 、巧合和意外，
20:33
God's will, and the synchrony of mysterious forces --
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天意，和這些神秘力量的互動時，
20:37
I will come to some notion of what that is, how we create.
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我將會對我們的創造力有些概念。
20:43
I have to think of my role. Where I am in the universe,
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我思考自己的角色 在宇宙中的原因
20:47
and did somebody intend for me to be that way, or is it just something I came up with?
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是否有人要我成為現在這個樣子，或是那完全出於我自己？
20:52
And I also can find that by imagining fully, and becoming what is imagined --
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我可以藉著想像來找到答案，或成為自己想像的模樣
21:00
and yet is in that real world, the fictional world.
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在那真實世界，虛構世界，
21:03
And that is how I find particles of truth, not the absolute truth, or the whole truth.
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這便是我找到部分真理的辦法，不是絕對的，或是完全的真理，
21:11
And they have to be in all possibilities,
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它們仍有許多可能性。
21:13
including those I never considered before.
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包括那些我從未想到的
21:16
So, there are never complete answers.
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從沒有完整的答案
21:19
Or rather, if there is an answer, it is to remind
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就算有，也是為了提醒我自己。
21:24
myself that there is uncertainty in everything,
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一切都是變化無常的
21:28
and that is good, because then I will discover something new.
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那是件好事，因為我總能發現新東西
21:33
And if there is a partial answer, a more complete answer from me,
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如果有一個片段的答案，一個更完整的答案
21:37
it is to simply imagine.
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便是簡單的想像
21:40
And to imagine is to put myself in that story,
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想像是將自己放進故事裡
21:44
until there was only -- there is a transparency between me and the story that I am creating.
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直到我跟我所創造的故事之間什麼都沒有
21:50
And that's how I've discovered that if I feel what is in the story
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這就是我如何發覺故事中的情節
21:56
-- in one story -- then I come the closest, I think,
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那麼 ，我便接近了，懂得了
22:02
to knowing what compassion is, to feeling that compassion.
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什麼是同感，或是如何感受同感
22:06
Because for everything,
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因為對每一件事來說
22:08
in that question of how things happen, it has to do with the feeling.
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疑問事情怎麼發生，這其中必然帶有情感
22:12
I have to become the story in order to understand a lot of that.
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我必須成為故事，才能了解
22:18
We've come to the end of the talk,
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這場演說到了尾聲
22:20
and I will reveal what is in the bag, and it is the muse,
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而我將揭露隱藏的秘密，就是謬思靈感的來源
22:24
and it is the things that transform in our lives,
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就是這玩意改變了我們的生活
22:27
that are wonderful and stay with us.
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美好且一直與我們在一起
22:37
There she is.
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就是她
22:38
Thank you very much!
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謝謝你們
22:40
(Applause)
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(鼓掌)
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Amy Tan - NovelistAmy Tan is the author of such beloved books as The Joy Luck Club, The Kitchen God's Wife and The Hundred Secret Senses.
Why you should listen
Born in the US to immigrant parents from China, Amy Tan rejected her mother's expectations that she become a doctor and concert pianist. She chose to write fiction instead. Her much-loved, best-selling novels have been translated into 35 languages. In 2008, she wrote a libretto for The Bonesetter's Daughter, which premiered that September with the San Francisco Opera.
Tan was the creative consultant for Sagwa, the Emmy-nominated PBS series for children, and she has appeared as herself on The Simpsons. She's the lead rhythm dominatrix, backup singer and second tambourine with the Rock Bottom Remainders, a literary garage band that has raised more than a million dollars for literacy programs.
Amy Tan | Speaker | TED.com