TED2005
Carmen Agra Deedy: Once upon a time, my mother ...
卡门•阿格拉•迪地（Carmen Agra Deedy）编故事
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善讲故事的卡门•阿格拉•迪地（Carmen Agra Deedy）以其古巴母亲为主角，围绕大人和孩子之间的感情讲了个风趣、善巧又富于启迪的故事。坐稳了哦，一路开心--老妈开车啰！
Carmen Agra Deedy - Storyteller
Carmen Agra Deedy's luminous, funny, digressive tales of childhood and adulthood bring out the starry-eyed listener in us all. Full bio
Carmen Agra Deedy's luminous, funny, digressive tales of childhood and adulthood bring out the starry-eyed listener in us all. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:18
When I knew I was going to come to speak to you, I thought,
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一得知要来这儿演讲，我就寻思，
00:24
"I gotta call my mother."
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“要给我妈打个电话。”
00:26
I have a little Cuban mother -- she's about that big.
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我那小巧玲珑的古巴母亲——她身量才那么大。
00:29
Four feet. Nothing larger than the sum of her figurative parts.
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四英尺——她整体的形象真是无比高大。
00:32
You still with me? (Laughter)
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你们懂我说的意思吧？（笑声）
00:34
I called her up.
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我拨通了她的电话，
00:35
"Hello, how're you doing, baby?"
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“喂，宝贝，你好吗？”
00:37
"Hey, ma, I got to talk to you."
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“嗳，妈，我得跟你说说话。”
00:39
"You're talking to me already. What's the matter?"
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“你已经在跟我说了呀。啥事儿？”
00:41
I said, "I've got to talk to a bunch of nice people."
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我说“我打算去对一群好人演讲。”
00:43
"You're always talking to nice people, except when you went
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“你从来都是给好人演讲的，除了那次你去
00:45
to the White House."
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白宫——”
00:46
"Ma, don't start!"
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“妈，打住！”
00:50
And I told her I was coming to TED, and she said,
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然后我告诉她我要来TED，她就问，
00:53
"What's the problem?"
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有什么问题吗？
00:54
And I said, "Well, I'm not sure."
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我就说，“嗯，我不太自信。”
00:56
I said, "I have to talk to them about stories.
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我告诉她，“我要讲的内容是有关故事的。
01:02
It's 'Technology, Entertainment and Design.'"
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而它(TED)的主题是技术，娱乐和设计。”
01:06
And she said, "Well, you design a story when you make it up,
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接着她说，“好办，你编故事本身就是设计嘛，
01:12
it's entertainment when you tell it,
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你边讲故事边娱乐，
01:14
and you're going to use a microphone."
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另外你会用到麦克风。”
01:16
(Laughter)
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（笑声）
01:19
I said, "You're a peach, ma. Pop there?"
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我说，“服了你了，妈。爸在吗？”
01:21
"What's the matter? The pearls of wisdom
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“不必了吧？锦囊妙计由我信口拈来，
01:23
leaping from my lips like lemmings is no good for you?"
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还帮不上你啊？”
01:26
(Laughter)
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（笑声）
01:28
Then my pop got on there.
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接着我爸登场。
01:29
My pop, he's one of the old souls, you know --
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我老爸——饱经几世的沧桑，
01:32
old Cuban man from Camaguey.
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卡马圭的古巴老人。
01:35
Camaguey is a province in Cuba.
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卡马圭系古巴的一个省。
01:37
He's from Florida.
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他是佛洛里达人。
01:39
He was born there in 1924.
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1924年在那儿出生。
01:41
He grew up in a bohio of dirt floors,
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他自幼从茅草屋的泥巴地里滚爬着长大，
01:45
and the structure was the kind used by the Tainos,
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就是泰诺人住过的那种结构的简陋茅草房，
01:48
our old Arawak ancestors.
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泰诺人是我们远古的阿拉瓦人祖先。
01:51
My father is at once quick-witted, wickedly funny,
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我父亲的特点是既敏捷机智，搞怪滑稽，
01:58
and then poignancy turns on a dime and leaves you breathless.
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又一针见血，他来个急转弯就能让人目瞪口呆。
02:06
"Papi, help."
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“爸爸，帮忙哦。”
02:09
"I already heard your mother. I think she's right."
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“我已经听到你妈说的了。我觉着她说得对。”
02:12
(Laughter)
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（笑声）
02:14
"After what I just told you?"
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“在我说了这事儿之后？”
02:16
My whole life, my father's been there.
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从小到大，老爸对我有求必应。
02:18
So we talked for a few minutes, and he said,
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我们随即聊了几分钟，然后他说，
02:20
"Why don't you tell them what you believe?"
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“干嘛不在演讲中谈谈你的信仰？”
02:22
I love that, but we don't have the time.
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我真想啊，可惜这场时间不够用的。
02:25
Good storytelling is crafting a story that someone wants to listen to.
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善于讲故事是要把故事编得让人想听。
02:31
Great story is the art of letting go.
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讲究欲擒故纵。
02:36
So I'm going to tell you a little story.
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我来讲个小故事。
02:38
Remember, this tradition comes to us
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追根溯源，讲故事这个传统，并非来自
02:40
not from the mists of Avalon, back in time, but further still,
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阿瓦隆西方乐土岛，时间上还要往前推，
02:44
before we were scratching out these stories on papyrus,
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早于人类在纸草上草编故事，
02:47
or we were doing the pictographs on walls in moist, damp caves.
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回溯到人类在潮湿洞穴里往岩壁上涂刻象形文字。
02:53
Back then, we had an urge, a need, to tell the story.
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那个时期的人类就有讲故事的欲望和要求。
02:56
When Lexus wants to sell you a car, they're telling you a story.
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Lexus凌志通过讲故事向你推销它的车。
03:01
Have you been watching the commercials?
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你们留心看商业广告吗？
03:03
Because every one of us has this desire, for once -- just once --
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因为我们每个人都有这个欲望，只要一次－－就一次
03:08
to tell our story and have it heard.
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把我们的故事讲出来，令人倾听。
03:11
There are stories you tell from stages.
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有些故事我们上台宣讲。
03:15
There's stories that you may tell
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有些故事是
03:19
in a small group of people with some good wine.
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跟一小撮人边喝酒边讲的。
03:22
And there's stories you tell late at night to a friend,
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还有些故事由你在深夜对一个朋友倾吐，
03:27
maybe once in your life.
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可能一辈子就那么一回。
03:31
And then there are stories that we whisper into a Stygian darkness.
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也有的故事，我们向幽暗的黑夜低声诉说。
03:39
I'm not telling you that story.
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我可不要给你们讲那个。
03:41
I'm telling you this one.
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我要讲的故事
03:43
It's called, "You're Going to Miss Me."
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叫“你会想我的。”
03:45
It's about human connection.
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是讲人之间感情关系的。
03:48
My Cuban mother, which I just briefly introduced you to
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我那古巴母亲，刚才我简短跟大家介绍过的，
03:50
in that short character sketch,
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她身材玲珑，
03:54
came to the United States one thousand years ago.
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一千年前来到美国。
03:58
I was born in 19 -- I forget, and I came to this country
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我生于19—年，我忘了，在古巴革命之后
04:02
with them in the aftermath of the Cuban revolution.
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我跟他们也来到这个国家。
04:04
We went from Havana, Cuba to Decatur, Georgia.
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我们从古巴哈瓦那辗转去了佐治亚州的迪凯特，
04:08
And Decatur, Georgia's a small Southern town.
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迪凯特是佐治亚州的一座南部小镇。
04:10
And in that little Southern town, I grew up,
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我在那个南方小镇上长大，
04:13
and grew up hearing these stories.
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是在这些故事熏陶下长大的。
04:15
But this story only happened a few years ago.
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但下面这个故事发生在几年前。
04:17
I called my mom.
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我给妈打电话。
04:19
It was a Saturday morning.
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一个星期六早上。
04:21
And I was calling about how to make ajiaco. It's a Cuban meal.
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我本想问怎么做Ajiaco，一道古巴国菜（肉和蔬菜玉米番薯炖在一起一大碗配一块yuca饼）。
04:23
It's delicious. It's savory.
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相当美味可口。
04:25
It makes spit froth in the little corners of your mouth --
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让你垂涎三尺。
04:27
is that enough? It makes your armpits juicy, you know?
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吃起来酣畅淋漓。
04:30
That kind of food, yeah.
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对，就是那类美食。
04:33
This is the sensory part of the program, people.
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讲故事得注意调动感官。
04:36
I called my mother, and she said, "Carmen, I need you to come, please.
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电话接通了，我妈说：“卡门，想你过来一下啊。
04:39
I need to go to the mall, and you know your father now,
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我得去超市，你也清楚你爸他现在，
04:42
he takes a nap in the afternoon, and I got to go.
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午觉一睡一下午，我得去忙啊。
04:44
I got an errand to run."
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我有活儿要干呐。”
04:45
Let me parenthetically pause here and tell you --
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这儿得给大伙插一句，
04:47
Esther, my mother, had stopped driving several years ago,
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艾斯特，我的妈妈，为了亚特兰大整个城市的集体安危着想，
04:49
to the collective relief of the entire city of Atlanta.
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几年前就不再开车了。
04:52
Any vehicular outing with that woman from the time I was a young child,
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从我记事儿起，但凡跟那个女人驾车出行，
04:54
guys, naturally included flashing, blue lights.
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少不了（交警的）刺眼的蓝灯。
04:58
But she'd become adept at dodging the boys in blue,
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慢慢地，她晓得如何避开交警，还很拿手，
05:02
and when she did meet them, oh, she had wonderful, well, rapport.
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躲不开的时候也有，那时她表现出——慈眉善目。
05:09
"Ma'am, did you know that was a light you just ran?"
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“夫人，您刚才闯灯了您明白吗？”
05:13
(Spanish)
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西班牙语
05:16
"You don't speak English?"
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您不讲英语？
05:18
"No."
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“不。”（用英文说的）。
05:20
(Laughter)
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（笑声）
05:21
But eventually, every dog has its day,
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但最终还是厄运难逃，
05:23
and she ended up in traffic court,
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她被传唤到交通法庭上，
05:25
where she bartered with the judge for a discount.
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她却在哪儿跟法官商量指望从轻发落。
05:28
There's a historical marker.
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真有开创精神。
05:30
But now she was a septuagenarian, she'd stopped driving.
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可如今她老人家已经到了古稀之年，不再开车啦。
05:33
And that meant that everyone in the family had to sign up
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对家里其他人来说，大家伙得轮班
05:37
to take her to have her hair dyed, you know,
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开车带她去染发，
05:40
that peculiar color of blue that matches her polyester pants suit,
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染成特定的蓝色，好配她那身化纤长裤套装，
05:43
you know, same color as the Buick.
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你知道，就是跟别克车一样的颜色。
05:45
Anybody? All right.
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都明白？很好。
05:47
Little picks on the legs, where she does her needlepoint, and leaves little loops.
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长裤绣上花，特意留出小线圈
05:51
Rockports -- they're for this.
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再搭配一双乐布鞋。
05:53
That's why they call them that.
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它也因此得名。
05:55
(Laughter)
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（笑声）
05:56
This is her ensemble.
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她的总体形象介绍完了。
05:58
And this is the woman that wants me to come on a Saturday morning
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就是这样的女人想让我周六上午去一趟。
06:00
when I have a lot to do, but it doesn't take long because Cuban guilt is a weighty thing.
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当时我也忙得走不开，但是再忙也得去啊，因为古巴式的负罪感很难摆脱的。
06:05
I'm not going political on you but ... And so, I go to my mother's.
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不想油嘴滑舌——反正我去找我妈了。
06:09
I show up. She's in the carport.
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我到了。她在车棚里。
06:11
Of course, they have a carport.
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可不呗，他们有个车棚。
06:12
The kind with the corrugated roof, you know.
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那种带瓦楞屋顶的。
06:14
The Buick's parked outside,
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别克车就停在外面，
06:15
and she's jingling, jangling a pair of keys.
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她手里摇晃得一串钥匙当啷啷响。
06:17
"I got a surprise for you, baby!"
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“给你个惊喜，宝贝！”
06:19
"We taking your car?"
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“我们开你的车啊？”
06:21
"Not we, I."
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“不是我们，是我开。”
06:23
And she reaches into her pocket and pulls out a catastrophe.
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随后她伸手从兜儿里掏出一个大灾难。
06:28
Somebody's storytelling. Interactive art. You can talk to me.
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讲故事现场讲究互动。你们可以跟我互动。
06:31
Oh, a driver's license, a perfectly valid driver's license.
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哦，驾照——一本完好无损的驾照。
06:33
Issued, evidently, by the DMV in her own county of Gwinnett.
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不用怀疑，是由她所在的Gwinnett镇上机动车管理部门核准发放的。
06:37
Blithering fucking idiots.
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那帮蠢蛋。
06:39
(Laughter)
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（笑声）
06:40
I said, "Is that thing real?"
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我说，“那证是真的？”
06:41
"I think so."
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“我想是的。”
06:42
"Can you even see?"
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“您眼力劲还行？”
06:43
"I guess I must."
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“我不行也得行啊。”
06:44
"Oh, Jesus."
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“哦天啊。”
06:45
She gets into the car -- she's sitting on two phone books.
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她上了车，屁股下垫着两本电话簿。
06:48
I can't even make this part up because she's that tiny.
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可不是我编的，她个头就那么小。
06:50
She's engineered an umbrella so she can -- bam! -- slam the door.
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她摆弄着一把伞——砰！可把车门给带上了。
06:53
Her daughter, me, the village idiot with the ice cream cone
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她闺女，我——一乡下傻大姐，
06:55
in the middle of her forehead, is still standing there, slack-jawed.
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举个冰激凌甜筒在脑门前，瞠目结舌地呆在原地。
06:58
"You coming? You no coming?"
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“你来是不来啊？”
06:59
"Oh, my God." I said, "OK, fine. Does pop know you're driving?"
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“哦，天哪。”我问，“行。阿爸知道你开车吗？”
07:02
"Are you kidding me?"
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“别蒙我了。”
07:04
"How are you doing it?"
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“你怎么搞定他的？”
07:05
"He's got to sleep sometime."
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“有时老虎也打盹儿呀。”
07:08
And so we left my father fast asleep, because I knew he'd kill me
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所以趁我父亲熟睡中我们出发了，要是他知道了我让她自己开车，
07:11
if I let her go by herself, and we get in the car.
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他非宰了我不可，我们上了车。
07:13
Puts it in reverse. Fifty-five out of the driveway, in reverse.
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挂倒档。以55迈的速度倒出了车道。
07:16
I am buckling in seatbelts from the front.
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我从前面扣上安全带，
07:18
I'm yanking them in from the back. I'm doing double knots.
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猛得从身后侧拉过安全带，锁了个双扣。
07:21
I mean, I've got a mouth as dry as the Kalahari Desert.
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我嘴巴发干，干得跟喀拉哈里沙漠似的。
07:23
I've got a white-knuckle grip on the door. You know what I'm talking about?
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我的手死死攥牢车门的把手，想象得出吧。
07:26
And she's whistling, and finally I do the kind of
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而她吹着口哨，我则紧张地大口喘息，
07:30
birth breathing -- you know, that one?
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那种分娩呼吸，你知道？
07:32
Only a couple of women are going uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh. Right.
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只有少数几个妇女还在用的呼吸法。对。
07:35
And I said, "Ma, would you slow down?"
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我说，“妈，慢点儿行不？”
07:36
Because now she's picked up the Highway 285,
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因为现在她已经开上了285公路了，
07:39
the perimeter around Atlanta, which encompasses now --
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环绕亚特兰大的道路
07:42
there's seven lanes, she's on all of them, y'all.
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共有七条—她不知往哪儿开。
07:45
I said, "Ma, pick a lane!"
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我说，“妈，快选一条道！”
07:47
"They give you seven lanes, they expect you to use them."
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“七条大路任你选。”
07:49
And there she goes, right.
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还好，总算开始上道儿了。
07:52
I don't believe for a minute she has been out and not been stopped.
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我不信她自己在路上开过车却没被交警拦截过。
07:55
So, I think, hey, we can talk. It'll be a diversion.
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嗯，我们可以聊聊。解个闷。
07:57
It'll help my breathing. It'll do something for my pulse, maybe.
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帮我喘口气儿。没准儿能让我的心跳慢下来。
08:00
"Mommy, I know you have been stopped."
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“妈咪，我觉你被交警拦截过。”
08:02
"No, no, what you talking about?"
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“当然没啊，你说啥呢？”
08:04
"You have a license. How long have you been driving?"
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“拿到驾照了。开车多久了？”
08:05
"Four or five days."
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“四、五天吧。”
08:06
"Yeah. And you haven't been stopped?"
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“噢。你没被交警拦截过？”
08:07
"I did not get a ticket."
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“我没有接过罚单。”
08:10
I said, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, but come on, come on, come on."
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我不信，“是啊，是啊，快交代啦。”
08:14
"OK, so I stopped at a light
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“好吧，有此我停在交通灯那儿
08:16
and there's a guy, you know, in the back."
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有个人在后面，你知道。”
08:18
"Would this guy have, like, a blue uniform
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“那人是不是穿蓝色制服，
08:20
and a terrified look on his face?"
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他被吓着了？”
08:22
"You weren't there, don't start."
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“你又不在现场，别打岔。”
08:23
"Come on. You got a ticket?"
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“哦说吧，你吃罚单了？”
08:25
"No." She explained,
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“没有。”她解释说—
08:28
"The man" -- I have to tell you as she did,
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“那人”——我得把她说的原话重复下
08:30
because it loses something if I don't, you know --
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不然的话后面接不上茬——
08:32
"he come to the window, and he does a thing like this,
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“他走到车窗边，做了个这样的姿势——
08:35
which tells me he's pretty old, you know.
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让我觉得他上了岁数。
08:41
So I look up and I'm thinking,
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所以我仰起脸来，寻思着，
08:43
maybe he's still going to think I'm kind of cute."
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说不好他会觉我还挺可爱呢。”
08:45
"Ma, are you still doing that?"
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“妈，你还用那招哇？”
08:46
"If it works, it works, baby.
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“孩儿，说不定能管用哪。”
08:48
So, I say, 'Perdon, yo no hablo ingles.'
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接着，我说（西班牙语）
08:50
Well, wouldn't you know, he had been in Honduras for the Peace Corps."
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“唉，谁料到呢，他曾参加和平队在洪都拉斯呆过。”
08:53
(Laughter)
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（笑声）
08:55
So he's talking to her, and at some point she says,
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然后他就跟她讲西班牙语，就在那时，她说，
08:57
"Then, you know, it was it. That was it. It was done."
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“然后，你知道，就那样，结了。”
09:01
"Yeah? What?
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“嗯？啥？
09:03
He gave you a ticket? He didn't give you a ticket? What?"
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他给你开罚单了？没开？咋回事？”
09:06
"No, I look up, and the light, she change."
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“不是，我一抬头，交通灯变了。”
09:09
(Laughter)
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（笑声）
09:13
You should be terrified.
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你该怕了。
09:14
Now, I don't know if she's toying with me,
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我不晓得她是不是在耍我，
09:16
kind of like a cat batting back a mouse, batting back a mouse --
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就跟小猫抓玩老鼠似的——
09:18
left paw, right paw, left paw, right paw --
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左手扔，右手抓，右手扔，左手抓。
09:20
but by now, we've reached the mall.
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可算到超市了。
09:22
Now, you have all been at a mall during the holidays, yes?
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你们都在节假日去过超市吧。
09:24
Talk to me. Yes. Yes. You can say yes.
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来点互动。对，对，你可以说“对”。
09:27
Audience: Yes.
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观众：对。
09:28
Carmen Agra Deedy: All right, then you know that you have now entered parking lot purgatory,
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那就好，接下来你们都经历过的，炼狱般的停车过程，
09:31
praying to that saint of perpetual availability
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向永恒的圣灵祈祷（意思是骂人）
09:33
that as you join that serpentine line of cars crawling along,
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加入排成长龙的车队，
09:36
some guy's going to turn on the brake lights
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你的车紧跟上某人的车，就在那时，
09:38
just as you pull up behind him.
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某人却亮起刹车灯。
09:39
But that doesn't happen most of the time, right?
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但通常你跟的那车连刹车灯不带亮的就停急停，对吧？
09:42
So, first I say, "Ma, why are we here?"
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我就问了，“妈，我们怎么在这儿？”
09:44
"You mean, like, in the car?"
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“你是说为什么在车里？”
09:45
"No, don't -- why are we here today?
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“不是啊，——今天来这儿干嘛？
09:48
It's Saturday. It's the holidays."
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周六本该休息的么。”
09:52
"Because I have to exchange your father's underwear."
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“我要来调换你爸的内裤。
09:55
Now, see, this is the kind of Machiavellian thinking,
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瞧瞧，这真是典型的马基雅弗利思路
09:57
that you really have to -- you know, in my mind, it's a rabbit's warren,
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你真拿她没法儿——跟兔子洞似的，
09:59
this woman's mind.
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我妈太多心眼了。
10:00
Do I want to walk in, because unless I have Ariadne's thread to anchor --
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除非我手里有阿里阿德涅的线团——否则钻进去出不来了。
10:04
enough metaphors for you? -- somewhere, I may not get out.
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够多比喻了？
10:07
But you know.
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但你知道的—
10:08
(Laughter)
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（笑声）
10:12
"Why do we have to take pop's underwear back now?
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“干嘛非要这个时候来换爸的内裤？
10:15
And why? What is wrong with his underwear?"
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嗯？他的内裤哪儿不合适？”
10:17
"It will upset you."
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“你不想听。”
10:18
"It won't upset me. Why? What? Is something wrong with him?"
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“不会。咋整的？出啥毛病了？”
10:21
"No, no, no. The only thing with him is, he's an idiot.
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“没有没有。他就是有点白痴。”
10:24
I sent him to the store, which was my first mistake,
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我叫他自己到超市——是我犯的第一个错，
10:27
and he went to buy underwear, and he bought the grippers,
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他去买内裤，结果买了紧身平角裤，
10:30
and he's supposed to buy the boxers."
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本来该买四角裤的。
10:32
"Why?"
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“啥区别？”
10:33
"I read it on the Intersnet. You cannot have children."
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“我从网上看的。说是穿了紧身平角裤生不出孩子。”
10:36
"Oh, my God!"
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“天啊！”
10:37
(Laughter)
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（笑声）
10:40
Olivia? Huh? Huh?
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奥利维亚？哈？哈？
10:43
By now, we have now crawled another four feet,
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这半天才往前挪了四英尺，
10:48
and my mother finally says to me, "I knew it, I knew it.
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最后我妈又说了，“有了，有了。
10:51
I'm an immigrant. We make a space. What I tell you? Right there."
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我是移民来的。咱整出个地方。我跟你说啥来着？看那儿。
10:53
And she points out the passenger window, and I look out,
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顺着她指向我这边车窗外的方向，我看过去，
10:56
and three -- three -- aisles down,
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隔了三条车辆通道那边——
11:00
"Look, the Chevy."
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“看那辆Chevy雪佛兰车。”
11:02
You want to laugh, but you don't know --
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你可能觉着好笑，但你不明白——
11:04
you're that politically corrected, have you noticed?
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你太英明了——注意到了吗？
11:06
Correct the other direction now, it's OK.
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大错特错了，没关系。
11:09
"Look, the Chevy -- he's coming this way."
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£“看那辆Chevy雪佛兰车——他正往这边开。”
11:10
"Mama, mama, mama, wait, wait, wait. The Chevy is three aisles away."
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“妈，妈妈，妈妈，等，等等，等等。雪佛兰还隔着三条车道呐。”
11:13
She looks at me like I'm her, you know, her moron child,
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她看着我就像我是她的白痴小女——
11:15
the cretin, the one she's got to speak to very slowly and distinctly.
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她一字一顿地对我发话。
11:18
"I know that, honey. Get out of the car
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“我知道，亲爱的。下车，
11:22
and go stand in the parking space till I get there."
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去给我占地儿，我随后到。”
11:25
OK, I want a vote. Come on, come on. No, no.
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大伙儿，让我统计一下，快点儿。来，
11:29
How many of you once in your -- you were a kid, you were an adult --
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你们谁曾经——小时候，或长大了——
11:31
you stood in a parking space to hold it for someone?
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在停车场给人占过停车位？
11:34
See, we're a secret club with a secret handshake.
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看到了吧，我们都一伙儿的。
11:36
(Laughter)
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（笑声）
11:38
And years of therapy later, we're doing great.
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多年的康复之后，我们恢复得不错。
11:40
We're doing great. We're doing fine.
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真的不错，还好。
11:42
Well, I stood up to her.
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我朝她站起身。
11:43
This is -- you know, you'd think by now I'm -- and still holding?
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不是吧，你们还觉得我仍在占位子？
11:49
I said, "No way, ma, you have embarrassed me my entire life."
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我说，“没门儿，妈，你太叫我难为情了啊。”
11:52
Of course, her comeback is, "When have I embarrassed you?"
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她肯定不会承认，“我啥时候让你难为情了？”
11:55
(Spanish)
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（西班牙语）
11:57
And she's still talking while she puts the car in park,
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停车到位时她还在喋喋不休呢，
11:59
hits the emergency brake, opens the door,
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拉上手闸，打开车门，
12:02
and with a spryness astounding in a woman her age,
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身手麻利属她那年龄少有，
12:05
she jumps out of the car, knocks out the phone books,
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她从车里跳出来，电话薄被撅到一边，
12:08
and then she walks around --
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随后她绕到车前，
12:09
she's carrying her cheap Kmart purse with her --
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手里还拎着她那廉价的Kmart手袋。
12:11
around the front of the car.
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都这把年纪了，
12:13
She has amazing land speed for a woman her age, too.
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她的开车速度也算身手不凡。
12:16
Before I know it, she has skiddled across the parking lot
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我还没回过神儿，她已轻松穿行于停车场的汽车中，
12:18
and in between the cars, and people behind me, with that kind of
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身后的人们看我的眼神，
12:21
usual religious charity that the holidays bring us, wah-wah wah-wah.
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充满了惊羡。哇啊——哇啊——
12:26
"I'm coming." Italian hand signals follow.
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“我来啦。”意大利式的手势一挥。
12:28
I scoot over. I close the door. I leave the phone books.
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麻溜的，我关了车门，电话簿也不管了。
12:32
This is new and fast, just so you -- are you still with us?
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快的赶不上，慢的要等。
12:35
We'll wait for the slow ones. OK.
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——明白我说的吗？
12:37
I start, and this is where a child says to me --
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我刚要——一个孩子对我说——
12:39
and the story doesn't work if I tell you about her before,
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从一开始就讲还有个小孩儿的话，故事就不灵了
12:41
because this is my laconic child.
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这是我那寡少言语的孩子。
12:44
A brevity, brevity of everything with this child.
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她什么都慢条斯理。
12:46
You know, she eats small portions.
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饭一小口一小口地吃，
12:48
Language is something to be meted out
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话一字一顿地说，你知道
12:50
in small phonemes, you know -- just little hmm, hmm-hmm.
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一个字一个字在酝酿似地。
12:55
She carries a mean spiral notebook and a pen.
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她带着漂亮的螺旋笔记本和笔。
12:57
She wields great power.
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她很有劲道。
12:59
She listens, because that's what people who tell stories do first.
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她善听，会讲故事得先会听。
13:05
But she pauses occasionally and says,
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她偶尔打断一下，问，
13:07
"How do you spell that? What year? OK."
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“怎么拼的？哪一年？好的。”
13:11
When she writes the expose in about 20 years,
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过二十年她才会写出来，
13:14
don't believe a word of it.
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一个字儿也别信她的。
13:15
But this is my daughter, Lauren, my remarkable daughter,
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这就是我的乖女罗伦，
13:18
my borderline Asperger's kid.
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是个有点边缘自闭症的小孩儿。
13:22
Bless you, Dr. Watson.
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保佑你，沃森博士。
13:26
She says, "Ma, you got to look!"
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她说，“妈，看哪！”
13:29
Now, when this kid says I got to look, you know.
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一旦这孩子说让我看，你知道
13:32
But it isn't like I haven't seen this crime scene before.
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这类事儿虽然我以前见多了。
13:34
I grew up with this woman.
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就是这个女人把我带大的。
13:36
I said, "Lauren, you know what, give me a play-by-play. I can't."
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我说“罗伦，告诉你看见什么了。我没法——”
13:38
"No, mama, you got to look."
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“不行，妈妈，你看哪。”
13:39
I got to look. You got to look.
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我不得不看。你也得看。
13:41
Don't you want to look?
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想看不？
13:43
There she is.
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她就在那儿。
13:45
I look in bewildered awe:
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我诚惶诚恐地看过去——
13:47
she's standing, those Rockports slightly apart, but grounded.
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她稳稳站在那儿，乐步鞋（两脚）微微分开。
13:50
She's holding out that cheap Kmart purse, and she is wielding it.
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手里挥着她的廉价Kmart钱包。
13:54
She's holding back tons of steel with the sheer force
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这个个性十足的干瘪小老太婆，似乎力鼎千斤，
14:01
of her little personality, in that crone-ish voice, saying things like,
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憋足了劲儿喊着，
14:06
"Back it up, buddy! No, it's reserved!"
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“赶紧过来！这位子我占了！”
14:10
(Laughter)
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（笑声）
14:12
Ready? Brace yourselves. Here it comes.
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“精彩”的还在后头呢。
14:13
"No, my daughter, she's coming in the Buick.
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“不行，开别克车的那是我闺女，她开过来了。
14:15
Honey, sit up so they can see you."
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亲爱的，坐直了人家才能看到你。”
14:17
Oh, Jesus. Oh, Jesus.
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哦天哪，哦天哪。
14:20
I finally come -- and now, it's the South.
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终于来啦，这儿是南方。
14:22
I don't know what part of the country you live in.
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我觉无论住在哪儿，
14:24
I think we all secretly love stories.
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我们内心都喜欢故事。
14:27
We all secretly want our blankie and our Boo Bear.
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想蜷缩在被窝里抱着玩具熊。
14:29
We want to curl up and say, "Tell it to me, tell it to me.
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想撒着娇说，“讲嘛，讲嘛。”
14:30
Come on, honey, tell it to me."
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快嘛，亲爱的，讲啊。”
14:32
But in the South, we love a good story.
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在南方，我们爱听精彩的故事。
14:34
People have pulled aside,
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大家让开一边儿，
14:36
I mean, they've come out of that queue line,
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他们从排队的车里钻出来，
14:38
they have popped their trunks, pulled out lawn chairs and cool drinks.
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砰砰地打开后备箱，拖出草地椅和饮料。
14:40
Bets are placed.
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可有好戏看了。
14:42
"I'm with the little lady. Damn!"
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“我跟着这小老太婆。靠！”
14:44
(Laughter)
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（笑声）
14:46
And she's bringing me in with a slight salsa movement.
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以轻盈的舞步，她将我带上前台。
14:48
She is, after all, Cuban.
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怎么说她也是古巴人。
14:50
I'm thinking, "Accelerator, break. Accelerator, break."
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我满脑子是“油门刹车。油门刹车。”
14:53
Like you've never thought that in your life? Right? Yeah.
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你从未那么想过的吧？
14:56
I pull in. I put the car in park.
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我把车停在停车场。
14:58
Engine's still running -- mine, not the car.
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发动机还在转——我的，不是说汽车。
15:01
I jump out next to her going, "Don't you move!"
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我下车就靠她边上一站，说“别动！”
15:03
"I'm not going anywhere."
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“我哪儿也不去。”
15:05
She's got front seat in a Greek tragedy.
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她占了前排位子，一场希腊式悲剧正上演。
15:07
I come out, and there's Esther.
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我下车走到艾斯特身边。
15:09
She's hugging the purse.
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她牢牢抱着钱包。
15:12
"Que?" Which means "what," and so much more.
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“咋了？（西班牙语）”—她又开始唠叨。
15:15
(Laughter)
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（笑声）
15:22
"Ma, have you no shame?
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“妈，你不嫌丢人啊？
15:24
People are watching us all around," right?
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你看人家都在周围看我们呢。”
15:26
Now, some of them you've got to make up, people.
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其实没有啦，——为渲染气氛我才这么说的。
15:29
Secret of the trade.
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要有技巧。
15:30
Guess what? Some of these stories I sculpt a little, here and there.
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没错，有时候我也看需要编筐编篓。
15:34
Some, they're just right there, right there. Put them right there.
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就地取材嘛。
15:37
She says this to me.
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她这样回应我。
15:39
After I say -- let me refresh you --
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先前我说——我给大伙重复一下
15:42
"have you no shame?"
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“不嫌丢人啊？”
15:46
"No. I gave it up with pantyhose -- they're both too binding."
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“没事儿。连裤袜给脱了，紧绷绷的不舒服。
15:51
(Laughter)
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（笑声）
15:54
(Applause)
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（掌声）
15:58
Yeah, you can clap, but then you're about 30 seconds from the end.
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鼓掌吧，你们还能再听半分钟。
16:03
I'm about to snap like a brittle twig, when suddenly someone taps me on the shoulder.
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我几乎要崩溃，这时有人轻拍了我肩膀一下。
16:06
Intrepid soul.
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无知者无畏。
16:08
I'm thinking, "This is my kid. How dare she?
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我想到，“这是我孩子。她这么胆大？
16:10
She jumped out of that car."
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她从车里跳了出来。”
16:12
That's OK, because my mother yells at me, I yell at her.
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我妈朝我叫，我朝我孩子嚷。€
16:14
It's a beautiful hierarchy, and it works.
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等级分明，挺管用的。
16:16
(Laughter)
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（笑声）
16:17
I turn around, but it's not a child. It's a young woman,
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我转过脸，却不是孩子。是个年轻女人。
16:19
a little taller than I, pale green, amused eyes.
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比我高点。浅绿色眼睛，快乐的眼神。
16:21
With her is a young man -- husband, brother, lover, it's not my job.
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跟她一起的是个年轻男子，——老公，兄弟，情人——爱谁谁。
16:25
And she says, "Pardon me, ma'am" -- that's how we talk down there --
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她说，“对不起，夫人”——下面都是当时的原话——
16:28
"is that your mother?"
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“那是您母亲？”
16:30
I said, "No, I follow little old women around parking lots
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我说，“不是，我在停车的地方跟着那个小老太
16:32
to see if they'll stop. Yes, it's my mother!"
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看他们停不停。是的，那是我母亲！”
16:34
The boy, now, he says. "Well, what my sister meant" --
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青年男子这时才说，“我姐想说”——
16:37
they look at each other, it's a knowing glance -- "God, she's crazy!"
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他俩心照不宣地对视片刻——“天啊，她真疯狂！”
16:43
I said, (Spanish), and the young girl and the young boy say,
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我说（西班牙语），对面俩年轻人说，
16:47
"No, no, honey, we just want to know one more thing."
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“不是不是，亲爱的，我们就想知道一件事。”
16:50
I said, "Look, please, let me take care of her, OK,
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我说，“听着，求你们了，她就交给我了，行吗，
16:53
because I know her, and believe me, she's like a small atomic weapon,
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我了解她，不骗你们，她就跟个小型原子弹一样，
16:55
you know, you just want to handle her really gingerly."
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你得小心翼翼地对她。
16:58
And the girl goes, "I know, but, I mean, I swear to God,
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女孩又说，“我明白，但我想说的是，我发誓，
17:00
she reminds us of our mother."
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她让我们想起我们自己的母亲。”
17:04
I almost miss it.
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我差点儿没听清下一句。
17:06
He turns to her on the heel of his shoe.
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那男子侧过身对她轻轻叹道，
17:08
It's a half-whisper, "God, I miss her."
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“天，我真想她。”
17:14
They turn then, shoulder to shoulder, and walk away,
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然后他们转身肩并肩、自顾自地走了。
17:17
lost in their own reverie.
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一定是沉浸在思念里，
17:19
Memories of some maddening woman who was the luck of their DNA draw.
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思念那个让他们有幸生而为人的疯狂女人。
17:24
And I turn to Esther, who's rocking on those 'ports, and says,
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这时我转向艾斯特，她在哪儿掂着脚，说道，
17:30
"You know what, honey?"
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“你知道吗，孩子？”
17:31
"What, ma?"
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“什么，妈？”
17:33
"I'm going to drive you crazy probably for about 14, 15 more years,
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你有福气的话，我还能折磨你十四、五年，
17:36
if you're lucky, but after that, honey, you're going to miss me."
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等我不在了，你就知道没有妈啥滋味了。
17:43
(Applause)
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（掌声）
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Carmen Agra Deedy - StorytellerCarmen Agra Deedy's luminous, funny, digressive tales of childhood and adulthood bring out the starry-eyed listener in us all.
Why you should listen
Carmen Agra Deedy is a storyteller and children's-book author. Born in Cuba, she moved to the United States as a child, and her childhood and family provide a rich vein of material for her vividly told stories.
She's a contributor to National Public Radio and has won numerous awards for her writing.
Carmen Agra Deedy | Speaker | TED.com