TED Salon Brightline Initiative
Heidi Grant: How to ask for help -- and get a "yes"
海蒂‧葛蘭特: 如何向人求助——並讓對方說「好」
Filmed:
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求助很困難。但，人生中你經常會需要求助。所以，要如何能很自在地向前求助？在這場有提供實做方式的演說中，社會心理學家海蒂‧葛蘭特分享了四條簡單的規則，教你怎麼求助並取得協助——同時讓提供協助的人也覺得很有價值。
Heidi Grant - Social psychologist
Heidi Grant researches, writes and speaks about the science of motivation, influence and decision-making. Full bio
Heidi Grant researches, writes and speaks about the science of motivation, influence and decision-making. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:13
So, asking for help
is basically the worst, right?
is basically the worst, right?
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基本上，求助是最糟糕的，對吧？
00:18
I've actually never seen it
on one of those top ten lists
on one of those top ten lists
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我其實從來沒有
在人類最恐懼的十件事
排行榜上看過它，
排行榜上看過它，
00:22
of things people fear,
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00:24
like public speaking
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通常都會有公開演說，
00:26
and death,
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以及死亡，
00:27
but I'm pretty sure
it actually belongs there.
it actually belongs there.
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但我很確定它一定屬於前十名。
00:31
Even though in many ways it's foolish
for us to be afraid to admit we need help,
for us to be afraid to admit we need help,
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雖然，在許多意義上，
害怕承認自己需要協助
是件很蠢的事，
是件很蠢的事，
00:36
whether it's from a loved one
or a friend or from a coworker
or a friend or from a coworker
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不論求助的對象是親人、朋友，
或同事，或甚至陌生人，
00:40
or even from a stranger,
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00:42
somehow it always feel just a little bit
uncomfortable and embarrassing
uncomfortable and embarrassing
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開口求助總是不知怎麼地
讓我們感到不舒服和不好意思，
00:47
to actually ask for help,
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00:50
which is, of course, why most of us
try to avoid asking for help
try to avoid asking for help
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當然，這就是為什麼大部分人
會在所能範圍內盡量避免求助。
00:53
whenever humanly possible.
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00:55
My father was one of those
legions of fathers
legions of fathers
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我爸爸就是那種很常見的老爸，
00:58
who, I swear, would rather drive
through an alligator-infested swamp
through an alligator-infested swamp
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我發誓，他寧可把車
開過內有鱷魚的沼澤，
開過內有鱷魚的沼澤，
01:04
than actually ask someone for help
getting back to the road.
getting back to the road.
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也不願意找人問路。
01:07
When I was a kid,
we took a family vacation.
we took a family vacation.
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我小時候，我們全家去渡假。
01:10
We drove from our home in South Jersey
to Colonial Williamsburg.
to Colonial Williamsburg.
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我們從南澤西的家開車
前往殖民地威廉斯堡。
前往殖民地威廉斯堡。
01:14
And I remember we got really badly lost.
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我記得我們嚴重迷路。
01:17
My mother and I pleaded with him
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我和我媽媽懇求他
01:20
to please just pull over and ask someone
for directions back to the highway,
for directions back to the highway,
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把車靠邊停，找人詢問
要怎麼回到幹道上，
要怎麼回到幹道上，
01:24
and he absolutely refused,
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他就是拒絕，
01:26
and, in fact, assured us
that we were not lost,
that we were not lost,
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而且還保證我們沒有迷路，
01:29
he had just always wanted to know
what was over here.
what was over here.
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他只是一直想知道
這裡有什麼所以來看看。
這裡有什麼所以來看看。
01:32
(Laughter)
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（笑聲）
01:34
So if we're going to ask for help --
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所以，如果我們要求助——
01:37
and we have to, we all do,
practically every day --
practically every day --
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且其實我們所有人
每天都會需要求助——
每天都會需要求助——
01:41
the only way we're going to even begin
to get comfortable with it
to get comfortable with it
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只有一種辦法能夠很自在地去求助，
01:45
is to get good at it,
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那就是變得擅長求助，
01:46
to actually increase the chances
that when you ask for help from someone,
that when you ask for help from someone,
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增加當你去向某人求助時，
01:50
they're actually going to say yes.
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那個人會答應的機率。
01:52
And not only that, but they're going
to find it actually satisfying
to find it actually satisfying
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且，不只如此，他們還會覺得協助你
是件很讓人滿足、很有價值的事，
01:56
and rewarding to help you,
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01:57
because that way, they'll be motivated
to continue to help you into the future.
to continue to help you into the future.
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因為，這麼一來，他們就會
有動機在未來繼續幫助你。
有動機在未來繼續幫助你。
02:02
So research that I
and some of my colleagues have done
and some of my colleagues have done
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我和我的一些同事做了研究，
02:05
has shed a lot of light on why it is
that sometimes people say yes
that sometimes people say yes
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解釋了為什麼當我們尋求協助時，
有些人會答應，
02:09
to our requests for help
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02:10
and why sometimes they say no.
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有些人會拒絕。
02:13
Now let me just start by saying right now:
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讓我就從這麼說開始：
02:16
if you need help,
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如果你需要協助，
02:18
you are going to have to ask for it.
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你就一定得要說出來。
02:21
Out loud.
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大聲說出來。好嗎？
02:22
OK?
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在某種程度上，
我們都有心理學家所謂的
我們都有心理學家所謂的
02:23
We all, to some extent, suffer
from something that psychologists call
from something that psychologists call
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02:27
"the illusion of transparency" --
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「被洞悉錯覺」——
02:29
basically, the mistaken belief
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基本上，它就是誤信
02:31
that our thoughts
and our feelings and our needs
and our feelings and our needs
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我們的思想、我們的感覺，
以及我們的需求
以及我們的需求
02:33
are really obvious to other people.
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都很明顯，能被別人看出來。
02:37
This is not true, but we believe it.
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這不是真的，但我們卻相信。
02:39
And so, we just mostly stand around
waiting for someone to notice our needs
waiting for someone to notice our needs
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所以，我們幾乎就是等著
別人注意到我們的需求，
別人注意到我們的需求，
02:43
and then spontaneously offer
to help us with it.
to help us with it.
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然後自動自發地來幫助我們。
02:46
This is a really, really bad assumption.
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這真的是種很糟的假設。
02:48
In fact, not only is it very difficult
to tell what your needs are,
to tell what your needs are,
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事實上，不僅是
說出你的需求很困難，
說出你的需求很困難，
02:52
but even the people close to you
often struggle to understand
often struggle to understand
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就連你身邊的人，通常也很難了解
02:55
how they can support you.
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他們要如何支助你。
02:57
My partner has actually
had to adopt a habit
had to adopt a habit
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我的另一半還得要養成一種習慣，
03:00
of asking me multiple times a day,
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每天要問我很多次
03:03
"Are you OK? Do you need anything?"
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「你還好嗎？你需要什麼嗎？」
03:05
because I am so, so bad at signaling
when I need someone's help.
when I need someone's help.
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因為我非常不擅長表現出
我需要別人的幫助。
我需要別人的幫助。
03:10
Now, he is more patient than I deserve
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他實在對我太有耐心了，
03:12
and much more proactive,
much more, about helping
much more, about helping
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且他也太太太主動提供協助，
03:16
than any of us have any right
to expect other people to be.
to expect other people to be.
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我們都無法期望其他人
能做到像他這樣。
能做到像他這樣。
03:20
So if you need help, you're going
to have to ask for it.
to have to ask for it.
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所以，如果你需要幫助，
你就得求助。
你就得求助。
03:22
And by the way, even when someone
can tell that you need help,
can tell that you need help,
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順便一提，就算別人
看得出你需要幫助，
看得出你需要幫助，
03:26
how do they know that you want it?
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他們又怎麼知道
你想要他們的幫助？
你想要他們的幫助？
03:29
Did you ever try to give unsolicited help
to someone who, it turns out,
to someone who, it turns out,
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你有沒有遇過，你主動
提供協助給某個人，
提供協助給某個人，
03:32
did not actually want your help
in the first place?
in the first place?
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結果這個人其實
根本不想要你幫忙？
根本不想要你幫忙？
03:35
They get nasty real quick, don't they?
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他們馬上就變臉，對吧？
03:38
The other day -- true story --
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有一天——這是真實故事——
03:40
my teenage daughter
was getting dressed for school,
was getting dressed for school,
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我的十多歲的女兒在更衣準備上學，
03:43
and I decided to give her
some unsolicited help about that.
some unsolicited help about that.
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而我決定主動提供這方面的協助。
03:46
(Laughter)
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（笑聲）
03:47
I happen to think she looks amazing
in brighter colors.
in brighter colors.
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我剛好認為，她穿亮色會很好看。
03:50
She tends to prefer sort of darker,
more neutral tones.
more neutral tones.
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而她則偏好比較暗的顏色，
比較中性的色調。
比較中性的色調。
03:54
And so I said, very helpfully,
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所以，我非常熱心地說
03:56
that I thought maybe
she could go back upstairs
she could go back upstairs
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我認為她可以考慮回到樓上，
03:59
and try to find something
a little less somber.
a little less somber.
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試著找件不那麼灰暗的衣服。
04:02
(Laughter)
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（笑聲）
04:04
So, if looks could kill,
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如果用瞪的可以殺人，
04:06
I would not be standing here right now.
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我現在就不會活著站在這裡了。
04:09
We really can't blame other people for not
just spontaneously offering to help us
just spontaneously offering to help us
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我們真的不能怪其他人
不主動協助我們，
不主動協助我們，
04:14
when we don't actually know
that that's what is wanted.
that that's what is wanted.
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因為我們其實不知道
對方是否想要被幫助。
對方是否想要被幫助。
04:17
In fact, actually, research shows
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事實上，研究顯示，
04:19
that 90 percent of the help that coworkers
give one another in the workplace
give one another in the workplace
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在工作場所中，
同事間提供給彼此的協助，
同事間提供給彼此的協助，
04:24
is in response
to explicit requests for help.
to explicit requests for help.
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有九成都是因為
對方有明確要求協助。
對方有明確要求協助。
04:28
So you're going to have to say
the words "I need your help." Right?
the words "I need your help." Right?
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所以，你必須要說出
「我需要你幫忙」這句話。
「我需要你幫忙」這句話。
04:31
There's no getting around it.
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沒有其他方式。
04:33
Now, to be good at it,
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那麼，若要擅長求助，
04:34
to make sure that people actually do
help you when you ask for it,
help you when you ask for it,
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若要確保當你求助時，
對方真的會伸出援手，
對方真的會伸出援手，
04:37
there are a few other things
that are very helpful to keep in mind.
that are very helpful to keep in mind.
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記住以下幾件事情會很有助益。
04:41
First thing: when you ask for help,
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第一：當你求助時，
04:44
be very, very specific
about the help you want and why.
about the help you want and why.
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要非常非常明確說出你想要
什麼樣的協助，以及為什麼。
什麼樣的協助，以及為什麼。
04:49
Vague, sort of indirect requests for help
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模糊、間接地請求協助
04:53
actually aren't very helpful
to the helper, right?
to the helper, right?
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不太能夠幫助對方
提供幫助給你，對吧？
提供幫助給你，對吧？
04:56
We don't actually know
what it is you want from us,
what it is you want from us,
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我們不知道你希望我們做些什麼，
04:59
and, just as important,
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同樣重要的是，
05:01
we don't know whether or not
we can be successful
we can be successful
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我們也不知道我們
能不能成功幫助你。
能不能成功幫助你。
05:03
in giving you the help.
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沒有人想要給予沒用的幫助。
05:05
Nobody wants to give bad help.
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05:07
Like me, you probably get
some of these requests
some of these requests
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你可能也跟我一樣，常常會在
LinkedIn（職場社交平台）上
LinkedIn（職場社交平台）上
05:10
from perfectly pleasant
strangers on LinkedIn
strangers on LinkedIn
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收到一些陌生人的請求，
05:13
who want to do things like
"get together over coffee and connect"
"get together over coffee and connect"
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他們想要類似「喝杯咖啡
聚一聚，連結彼此」
聚一聚，連結彼此」
05:18
or "pick your brain."
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或「跟你請教一下」。
05:21
I ignore these requests
literally every time.
literally every time.
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我真的每次都會直接忽略這些請求。
05:24
And it's not that I'm not a nice person.
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並不是我不是好人，
05:26
It's just that when I don't know
what it is you want from me,
what it is you want from me,
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只是如果我不清楚你想要我做什麼，
05:29
like the kind of help
you're hoping that can I provide,
you're hoping that can I provide,
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比如你希望我能幫上什麼忙，
05:32
I'm not interested.
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那我就沒興趣。
05:34
Nobody is.
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沒人會有興趣。
05:35
I'd have been much more interested
if they had just come out and said
if they had just come out and said
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如果他們能直接來找我，
說出他們想從我這裡得到什麼，
說出他們想從我這裡得到什麼，
05:39
whatever it is was
they were hoping to get from me,
they were hoping to get from me,
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我反而會感興趣許多，
因為我很肯定他們
腦中有很明確的想法。
腦中有很明確的想法。
05:41
because I'm pretty sure they had
something specific in mind.
something specific in mind.
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所以，儘管說出來：
05:44
So go ahead and say,
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「我希望能討論看看
是否有機會到你的公司工作。」
是否有機會到你的公司工作。」
05:45
"I'm hoping to discuss opportunities
to work in your company,"
to work in your company,"
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05:48
or, "I'd like to propose
a joint research project
a joint research project
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或「我想要提議一項聯合研究計畫，
05:51
in an area I know you're interested in,"
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我知道這是你會有興趣的研究領域。」
05:54
or, "I'd like your advice
on getting into medical school."
on getting into medical school."
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或「我想聽聽你對於
就讀醫學院的建議。」
就讀醫學院的建議。」
05:58
Technically, I can't help you
with that last one
with that last one
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技術上來說，最後
那個例子我幫不上忙，
那個例子我幫不上忙，
因為我不是「醫生」，我是博士，
06:00
because I'm not that kind of doctor,
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但我能夠引介你去找能幫上忙的人。
06:02
but I could point you in the direction
of someone who could.
of someone who could.
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06:06
OK, second tip.
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好，第二項要訣。
06:07
This is really important:
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這項非常重要：
06:10
please avoid disclaimers,
apologies and bribes.
apologies and bribes.
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請避免免責聲明、道歉，和賄賂。
06:15
Really, really important.
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非常重要。
06:16
Do any of these sound familiar?
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以下這些聽起來耳熟嗎？
06:18
(Clears throat)
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（清喉嚨）
06:20
'I'm so, so sorry
that I have to ask you for this."
that I have to ask you for this."
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「很抱歉我得要拜託你這件事。」
06:25
"I really hate bothering you with this."
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「我真的很不想用這件事煩你。」
06:28
"If I had any way of doing this
without your help, I would."
without your help, I would."
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「如果能不找你幫忙，
我就不會來找你了。」
我就不會來找你了。」
06:34
(Laughter)
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（笑聲）
06:35
Sometimes it feels like people
are so eager to prove
are so eager to prove
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有時，感覺好像大家很想要證明
06:38
that they're not weak and greedy
when they ask your for help,
when they ask your for help,
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他們在向你求助時
其實並不軟弱和貪心，
其實並不軟弱和貪心，
06:41
they're completely missing out
on how uncomfortable
on how uncomfortable
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他們完全沒注意到這些說法
會讓你感覺多麼不舒服。
06:44
they're making you feel.
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06:45
And by the way -- how am I supposed
to find it satisfying to help you
to find it satisfying to help you
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順便一提——如果你真的
很不想向我求助，
很不想向我求助，
06:49
if you really hated
having to ask me for help?
having to ask me for help?
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我怎麼可能會覺得
幫助你是讓人滿足的事？
幫助你是讓人滿足的事？
06:53
And while it is perfectly,
perfectly acceptable
perfectly acceptable
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且，雖然如果請陌生人幫助你，
06:56
to pay strangers to do things for you,
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付錢給他是非常可接受的事，
06:59
you need to be very, very careful
when it comes to incentivizing
when it comes to incentivizing
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但若你要用錢鼓勵的對象
是你的朋友和同事，
是你的朋友和同事，
07:03
your friends and coworkers.
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你就得要格外小心。
07:05
When you have a relationship with someone,
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如果你和某人有關係存在，
07:07
helping one another is actually
a natural part of that relationship.
a natural part of that relationship.
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彼此幫助其實很自然
就是那段關係的一部分。
就是那段關係的一部分。
07:11
It's how we show one another that we care.
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我們用這種方式
向對方展現我們在乎他。
向對方展現我們在乎他。
07:13
If you introduce incentives
or payments into that,
or payments into that,
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如果你讓關係涉及到獎勵或付款，
07:17
what can happen is, it starts to feel
like it isn't a relationship,
like it isn't a relationship,
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可能就會讓原本的關係
感覺不再是關係了，
感覺不再是關係了，
07:21
it's a transaction.
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反而像是交易。
07:23
And that actually
is experienced as distancing,
is experienced as distancing,
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那其實會讓人有距離感，
07:25
which, ironically, makes people
less likely to help you.
less likely to help you.
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很諷刺的是，這麼做
反而會讓對方比較不想幫你。
反而會讓對方比較不想幫你。
07:29
So a spontaneous gift
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所以，在對方協助你之後，
07:31
after someone gives you some help
to show your appreciation and gratitude --
to show your appreciation and gratitude --
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不刻意地送個禮物來表示謝意——
07:35
perfectly fine.
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完全可行。
07:37
An offer to pay your best friend
to help you move into your new apartment
to help you move into your new apartment
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付錢請你最要好的朋友幫你搬家，
07:41
is not.
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不可行。
07:42
OK, third rule,
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好，第三條規則，
07:44
and I really mean this one:
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對這條，我是很認真的：
07:45
please do not ask for help
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請不要用電子郵件
07:48
over email or text.
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或文字訊息來求助。
07:51
Really, seriously, please don't.
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我是說真的，請不要這麼做。
07:53
Email and text are impersonal.
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電子郵件和文字訊息很沒人情味。
07:56
I realize sometimes
there's no alternative,
there's no alternative,
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我知道有時是沒有其他選擇，
07:58
but mostly what happens is,
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但大部分的情況是，
08:01
we like to ask for help
over email and text
over email and text
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我們想要透過電子郵件
和文字訊息來求助，
和文字訊息來求助，
08:04
because it feels less awkward
for us to do so.
for us to do so.
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因為我們用這種方式
感覺比較不尷尬。
感覺比較不尷尬。
08:08
You know what else feels
less awkward over email and text?
less awkward over email and text?
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你知道透過電子郵件和文字訊息
做什麼也會感覺比較不尷尬嗎？
做什麼也會感覺比較不尷尬嗎？
08:12
Telling you no.
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拒絕你。
08:14
And it turns out, there's
research to support this.
research to support this.
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結果發現，有研究支持這個論點。
08:17
In-person requests for help
are 30 times more likely to get a yes
are 30 times more likely to get a yes
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比起用電子郵件求助，
親自去求助，對方
答應的機率反而高三十倍。
答應的機率反而高三十倍。
08:22
than a request made by email.
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08:25
So when something is really important
and you really need someone's help,
and you really need someone's help,
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所以，如果有很重要的事
你真的需要別人幫忙，
你真的需要別人幫忙，
08:28
make face time to make the request,
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找時間去當面求助，
或是把手機當「電話」來使用——
08:31
or use your phone as a phone --
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08:34
(Laughter)
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（笑聲）
08:36
to ask for the help that you need.
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來尋求你需要的協助。
08:39
OK.
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好。
08:40
Last one, and this is actually
a really, really important one
a really, really important one
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最後一項，這一項真的非常重要，
08:44
and probably the one
that is most overlooked
that is most overlooked
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可能是在求助時最會被大家忽略的：
08:46
when it comes to asking for help:
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08:48
when you ask someone
for their help and they say yes,
for their help and they say yes,
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當你向某人求助，對方也答應了，
08:51
follow up with them afterward.
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還要有後續追蹤。
08:54
There's a common misconception
that what's rewarding about helping
that what's rewarding about helping
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有一種常見的誤解，那就是
協助人的行為本身
會讓人覺得很有價值。
會讓人覺得很有價值。
08:57
is the act of helping itself.
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09:00
This is not true.
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不是這樣的。
09:01
What is rewarding about helping
is knowing that your help landed,
is knowing that your help landed,
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會讓人覺得有價值的部分，
是知道你提供的幫助有用，
是知道你提供的幫助有用，
09:05
that it had impact,
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有所影響，
09:07
that you were effective.
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知道你造成了不同。
09:09
If I have no idea
how my help affected you,
how my help affected you,
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如果我不知道我的協助
對你有什麼影響，
對你有什麼影響，
我會對它有什麼感受？
09:13
how am I supposed to feel about it?
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09:14
This happened; I was a university
professor for many years,
professor for many years,
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我遇過一件事；我之前
當了很多年的大學教授，
當了很多年的大學教授，
09:17
I wrote lots and lots
of letters of recommendation
of letters of recommendation
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我寫過非常多推薦信，
09:20
for people to get jobs
or to go into graduate school.
or to go into graduate school.
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推薦別人找工作或是讀研究所。
09:22
And probably about 95 percent of them,
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當中大概有 95%
09:25
I have no idea what happened.
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我都不知道後來結果如何。
09:27
Now, how do I feel about the time
and effort I took to do that,
and effort I took to do that,
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我如果不知道我有沒有幫上忙，
我對我花在推薦上的
時間心力會有什麼感覺？
時間心力會有什麼感覺？
09:30
when I really have no idea
if I helped you,
if I helped you,
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09:33
if it actually helped you
get the thing that you wanted?
get the thing that you wanted?
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我的推薦真的有幫你達到目標嗎？
09:36
In fact, this idea of feeling effective
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事實上，這種有幫上忙的感覺，
09:38
is part of why certain kinds
of donor appeals are so, so persuasive --
of donor appeals are so, so persuasive --
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正是某些懇求捐助的請求
能如此有說服力的原因之一——
09:44
because they allow you
to really vividly imagine
to really vividly imagine
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因為它們能讓你很生動地想像出
09:47
the effect that your help
is going to have.
is going to have.
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你的幫助會帶來什麼效益。
09:49
Take something like DonorsChoose.
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以 DonorsChoose（組織）為例。
09:52
You go online, you can choose
the individual teacher by name
the individual teacher by name
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你可以上網，依照名字
來選擇某一位老師，
來選擇某一位老師，
09:55
whose classroom you're going
to be able to help
to be able to help
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你可以去協助他的班級，
09:58
by literally buying the specific
items they've requested,
items they've requested,
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直接購買他們很明確需求的物品，
10:01
like microscopes or laptops
or flexible seating.
or flexible seating.
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比如顯微鏡、筆電，
或有彈性的坐椅。
或有彈性的坐椅。
10:05
An appeal like that makes it
so easy for me to imagine
so easy for me to imagine
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像這樣的捐助請求，
讓我可以很容易想像出
讓我可以很容易想像出
10:09
the good that my money will do,
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我的錢能夠做什麼善事，
10:10
that I actually get
an immediate sense of effectiveness
an immediate sense of effectiveness
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在我決定要捐助時，
我馬上就可以有種幫上忙的感覺。
10:13
the minute I commit to giving.
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10:15
But you know what else they do?
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但，你知道它們還會做什麼嗎？
後續追蹤。
10:16
They follow up.
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10:18
Donors actually get letters
from the kids in the classroom.
from the kids in the classroom.
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捐贈者會收到班上孩子寫來的信。
10:22
They get pictures.
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他們會收到照片。
10:23
They get to know
that they made a difference.
that they made a difference.
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他們能知道他們造成了不同。
10:26
And this is something we need
to all be doing in our everyday lives,
to all be doing in our everyday lives,
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我們所有人在日常生活中
都應該要這麼做，
都應該要這麼做，
這樣我們才能讓別人
10:29
especially if we want people
to continue to give us help
to continue to give us help
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長期繼續提供我們協助。
10:32
over the long term.
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10:34
Take time to tell your colleague
that the help that they gave you
that the help that they gave you
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花點時間，告訴你的同事，
他們給你的協助真的
讓你成交了一筆大生意，
讓你成交了一筆大生意，
10:37
really helped you land that big sale,
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10:39
or helped you get that interview
that you were really hoping to get.
that you were really hoping to get.
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或是讓你取得了
你一直盼望的面試機會。
你一直盼望的面試機會。
10:43
Take time to tell your partner
that the support they gave you
that the support they gave you
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花點時間，告訴你的另一半，
他們給予你的支持
他們給予你的支持
10:46
really made it possible for you
to get through a tough time.
to get through a tough time.
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真的幫助你渡過低潮。
10:50
Take time to tell your catsitter
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花點時間，告訴幫你照顧貓的人，
10:52
that you're super happy
that for some reason,
that for some reason,
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你超級開心，因為出於某種原因，
10:55
this time the cats didn't break
anything while you were away,
anything while you were away,
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這次你出遠門時，
你的貓沒有打破任何東西，
你的貓沒有打破任何東西，
10:58
and so they must have done
a really good job.
a really good job.
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所以一定是他們把貓顧得很好。
11:02
The bottom line is:
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結果就是：
11:03
I know -- believe me, I know --
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我知道——相信我，我知道——
11:05
that it is not easy to ask for help.
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要開口求助並不容易。
11:09
We are all a little bit afraid to do it.
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我們都有一點害怕求助。
11:11
It makes us feel vulnerable.
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求助讓我們感到脆弱。
11:13
But the reality of modern work
and modern life
and modern life
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但，現代工作
和現代生活的現實就是，
和現代生活的現實就是，
11:18
is that nobody does it alone.
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沒有人能只靠自己。
11:20
Nobody succeeds in a vacuum.
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沒有人能獨自一人成功。
11:22
More than ever, we actually do
have to rely on other people,
have to rely on other people,
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我們比以往更需要仰賴其他人，
11:26
on their support and collaboration,
in order to be successful.
in order to be successful.
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仰賴他們的支持和合作，
才有可能成功。
才有可能成功。
11:30
So when you need help,
ask for it out loud.
ask for it out loud.
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所以，當你需要協助時，
只管大聲說出來。
只管大聲說出來。
11:35
And when you do, do it in a way
that increases your chances
that increases your chances
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當你求助時，
要用能讓對方更有可能
答應的方式來求助，
答應的方式來求助，
11:38
that you'll get a yes
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11:39
and makes the other person
feel awesome for having helped you,
feel awesome for having helped you,
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並且讓對方覺得
能幫到你是件很棒的事，
能幫到你是件很棒的事，
11:44
because you both deserve it.
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因為這是你們雙方都應得的。
11:46
Thank you.
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謝謝。
11:47
(Applause)
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（掌聲）
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Heidi Grant - Social psychologistHeidi Grant researches, writes and speaks about the science of motivation, influence and decision-making.
Why you should listen
Dr. Heidi Grant is the Chief Science Officer for the Neuroleadership Institute, Associate Director of the Motivation Science Center at the Columbia University, and author of six best-selling books, including: Reinforcements: How to Get People to Help You, No One Understands You and What to Do About It and Nine Things Successful People Do Differently. In 2017, Grant was named one of Thinkers50's most influential management thinkers globally.
Heidi Grant | Speaker | TED.com