TEDMED 2018
Thomas Curran: Our dangerous obsession with perfectionism is getting worse
Thomas Curran: Vores farlige besættelse af perfektionisme bliver værre
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Socialpsykolog Thomas Curran undersøger hvordan kampen for at være perfekt - på de sociale medier, i skolen, på job - skaber en stigning i mentale sygdomme. især blandt unge mennesker. Lær mere om årsagerne til dette fænomen og hvordan vi kan skabe en kultur, der fejrer glæden ved det uperfekte.
Thomas Curran - Social and personality psychologist
Thomas Curran studies the personality characteristic of perfectionism, how it develops and its impact on mental health. Full bio
Thomas Curran studies the personality characteristic of perfectionism, how it develops and its impact on mental health. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:12
I'm a bit of a perfectionist.
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"Jeg er lidt af en perfektionist."
00:16
Now, how many times
have you heard that one?
have you heard that one?
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Hvor ofte hører man ikke det?
00:19
Over drinks, maybe, with friends,
or perhaps with family at Thanksgiving.
or perhaps with family at Thanksgiving.
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I selskab med venner eller familien.
00:25
It's everyone's favorite flaw,
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Det er alles yndlingsfejl.
00:27
it's that now quite common response
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Det er det ofte brugte svar
00:31
to the difficult, final question
at job interviews:
at job interviews:
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på det svære, afsluttende
spørgsmål til jobsamtalen:
spørgsmål til jobsamtalen:
00:36
"My biggest weakness?
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"Min største svaghed?
00:38
That's my perfectionism."
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Det er min perfektionisme."
00:41
You see, for something
that supposedly holds us back,
that supposedly holds us back,
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Efter sigende holder det os tilbage,
00:45
it's quite remarkable how many of us
are quite happy to hold our hands up
are quite happy to hold our hands up
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men mange rækker stadig hånden i vejret
00:48
and say we're perfectionists.
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og siger de er perfektionister.
00:51
But there's an interesting
and serious point
and serious point
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Men der er en alvorlig pointe,
00:55
because our begrudging admiration
for perfection is so pervasive
for perfection is so pervasive
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for vores modvillige beundring
af perfektion er så udbredt
af perfektion er så udbredt
01:02
that we never really stop to question
that concept in its own terms.
that concept in its own terms.
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at vi sjældent undrer os over,
hvorfor det er sådan.
hvorfor det er sådan.
01:06
What does it say about us and our society
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Hvad siger det om os og vores samfund
01:10
that there is a kind
of celebration in perfection?
of celebration in perfection?
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at vi på den måde hylder perfektion?
01:14
We tend to hold perfectionism up
as an insignia of worth.
as an insignia of worth.
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Vi ser perfektion som et tegn på værdi.
01:21
The emblem of the successful.
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De succesfuldes kendetegn.
01:25
Yet, in my time studying perfectionism,
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Men i mine studier af perfektionisme,
01:27
I've seen limited evidence
that perfectionists are more successful.
that perfectionists are more successful.
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så jeg sjældent beviser på
at perfektionister har større succes.
at perfektionister har større succes.
01:31
Quite the contrary --
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Nærmere det modsatte -
01:33
they feel discontented and dissatisfied
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de føler sig misfornøjede og utilfredse
01:36
amid a lingering sense
that they're never quite perfect enough.
that they're never quite perfect enough.
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og lever med en fornemmelse af
ikke at være perfekte nok.
ikke at være perfekte nok.
01:40
We know from clinician case reports
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Vi ved fra sygejournaler
01:42
that perfectionism conceals
a host of psychological difficulties,
a host of psychological difficulties,
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at perfektionisme kan dække over
en række psykiske udfordringer,
en række psykiske udfordringer,
01:45
including things like depression,
anxiety, anorexia, bulimia
anxiety, anorexia, bulimia
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lidelser som depression,
angst, anoreksi, bulimi
angst, anoreksi, bulimi
01:49
and even suicide ideation.
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og sågar selvmordstanker.
01:52
And what's more worrying
is that over the last 25 years,
is that over the last 25 years,
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Og mere bekymrende er
at gennem de seneste 25 år
at gennem de seneste 25 år
01:56
we have seen perfectionism rise
at an alarming rate.
at an alarming rate.
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har vi set en alarmerende
stigning i perfektionisme.
stigning i perfektionisme.
02:00
And at the same time,
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Og i samme periode,
02:01
we have seen more mental illness
among young people than ever before.
among young people than ever before.
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har vi set flere unge med psykiske
lidelser end nogensinde før.
lidelser end nogensinde før.
02:05
Rates of suicide in the US alone
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Selvmordsraterne i USA alene
02:08
increased by 25 percent
across the last two decades.
across the last two decades.
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er steget med 25 procent
gennem de seneste to årtier.
gennem de seneste to årtier.
02:12
And we're beginning to see similar trends
emerge across Canada,
emerge across Canada,
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Og vi begynder at se
tilsvarende tendenser i Canada
tilsvarende tendenser i Canada
02:15
and in my home country,
the United Kingdom.
the United Kingdom.
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og i mit hjemland, Storbritannien.
02:18
Now, our research is suggesting
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Vores studier indikerer
02:21
that perfectionism is rising
as society is changing.
as society is changing.
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at perfektionismen stiger,
fordi samfundet ændrer sig.
fordi samfundet ændrer sig.
02:25
And a changed society reflects
a changed sense of personal identity
a changed sense of personal identity
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Og det ændrer opfattelsen
af personlig identitet
af personlig identitet
02:30
and, with it, differences in the way
in which young people interact
in which young people interact
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og ændrer måden unge omgås
02:34
with each other and the world around them.
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hinanden og verden omkring dem.
02:36
And there are some unique characteristics
about our preeminent, market-based society
about our preeminent, market-based society
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Vores markedsbaserede samfund giver
02:42
that include things
like unrestricted choice
like unrestricted choice
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bl.a. ubegrænsede valgmuligheder
02:44
and personal freedom,
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og personlig frihed,
02:46
and these are characteristics
that we feel are contributing
that we feel are contributing
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og vi mener disse kendetegn bidrager til
02:49
to almost epidemic levels of this problem.
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problemets store udbredelse.
02:53
So let me give you an example.
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Et eksempel ...
02:56
Young people today are more preoccupied
with the attainment of the perfect life
with the attainment of the perfect life
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Unge i dag er mere optagede af
at opnå det perfekte liv
at opnå det perfekte liv
03:00
and lifestyle.
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og livsstil.
03:01
In terms of their image,
status and wealth.
status and wealth.
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Hvad angår deres selvbillede,
status og rigdom
status og rigdom
03:03
Data from Pew show that young people
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viser data fra Pew, at unge mennesker
03:08
born in the US in the late 1980s
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født i USA i slutningen af 1980'erne
03:12
are 20 percent more likely
to report being materially rich
to report being materially rich
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20% oftere angiver materiel rigdom
03:17
as among their most important life goals,
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som et af deres vigtigste mål i livet,
03:19
relative to their parents
and their grandparents.
and their grandparents.
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i forhold til tidligere generationer.
03:22
Young people also borrow more heavily
than did older generations,
than did older generations,
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Unge mennesker låner mere
end de ældre generationer
end de ældre generationer
03:25
and they spend a much greater proportion
of their income on image goods
of their income on image goods
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og de bruger en langt større del
af deres indkomst på fysiske goder
af deres indkomst på fysiske goder
03:30
and status possessions.
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og statussymboler.
03:31
These possessions,
their lives and their lifestyles
their lives and their lifestyles
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Disse statussymboler,
deres liv og livsstil
deres liv og livsstil
03:36
are now displayed in vivid detail
on the ubiquitous social media platforms
on the ubiquitous social media platforms
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vises detaljeret frem på de sociale medier
03:40
of Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat.
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såsom Instagram, Facebook og Snapchat.
03:44
In this new visual culture,
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I denne nye visuelle kultur,
03:47
the appearance of perfection
is far more important than the reality.
is far more important than the reality.
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er illusionen om perfektion
vigtigere end virkeligheden.
vigtigere end virkeligheden.
03:54
If one side of the modern landscape
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Hvis den ene side af det moderne landskab,
03:57
that we have so lavishly
furnished for young people
furnished for young people
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som vi overdådigt omgiver de unge med,
04:00
is this idea that there's
a perfectible life
a perfectible life
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er ideen om et liv,
der kan perfektioneres
der kan perfektioneres
04:02
and that there's a perfectible lifestyle,
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og en tilhørende livsstil,
04:04
then the other is surely work.
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så er den anden side helt sikkert arbejde.
04:06
Nothing is out of reach
for those who want it badly enough.
for those who want it badly enough.
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Intet er umuligt, hvis man vil det nok.
04:10
Or so we're told.
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Det får vi at vide.
04:11
This is the idea at the heart
of the American dream.
of the American dream.
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Det er grundlaget i den amerikanske drøm.
04:15
Opportunity, meritocracy,
the self-made person, hard work.
the self-made person, hard work.
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Muligheder, evner og skabertrang.
04:20
The notion that hard work always pays off.
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At hårdt arbejde betaler sig.
04:23
And above all, the idea
that we're captains of our own destiny.
that we're captains of our own destiny.
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Og vigtigst af alt -
vi er vores egen lykkes smed.
vi er vores egen lykkes smed.
04:27
These ideas, they connect
our wealth, our status
our wealth, our status
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Disse idéer binder
vores rigdom og status
vores rigdom og status
04:30
and our image with our innate,
personal value.
personal value.
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og selvbillede sammen med vores
medfødte personlige værdi.
medfødte personlige værdi.
04:35
But it is, of course, complete fiction.
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Men det er ren fiktion.
04:37
Because even if there were
equality of opportunity,
equality of opportunity,
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For selv med lige muligheder,
04:40
the idea that we are captains
of our own destiny
of our own destiny
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skjuler idéen om at være
sin egen lykkes smed
sin egen lykkes smed
04:43
disguises a much darker
reality for young people
reality for young people
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en mørkere virkelighed
for unge mennesker,
for unge mennesker,
04:46
that they are subject to an almost
ongoing economic tribunal.
ongoing economic tribunal.
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at deres værdi konstant vurderes.
04:49
Metrics, rankings, lead tables
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Konkrete resultater og placeringer
04:52
have emerged as the yardsticks
for which merit can be quantified
for which merit can be quantified
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er blevet målestokken for evner
04:55
and used to sort young people
into schools, classes and colleges.
into schools, classes and colleges.
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og bruges til at placere unge mennesker
i den rette skole, klasse eller gymnasie.
i den rette skole, klasse eller gymnasie.
05:01
Education is the first arena
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Uddannelse er det første område
05:03
where measurement
is so publicly played out
is so publicly played out
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hvor dette udspiller sig åbenlyst
05:06
and where metrics are being used
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og test bruges
05:08
as a tool to improve standards
and performance.
and performance.
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som værktøj til at forbedre niveauet.
05:12
And it starts young.
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Og det starter tidligt.
05:14
Young people in America's
big city high schools
big city high schools
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Børn i de amerikanske skoler
05:17
take some 112 mandatory standardized tests
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skal igennem 112 obligatoriske prøver
05:22
between prekindergarten
and the end of 12th grade.
and the end of 12th grade.
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fra børnehaveklassen til 3.G
05:26
No wonder young people report
a strong need to strive,
a strong need to strive,
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Det er klart at de unge stræber efter
05:28
perform and achieve
at the center of modern life.
at the center of modern life.
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at blive til noget i vores moderne tid.
05:31
They've been conditioned
to define themselves
to define themselves
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De definerer sig selv ved hjælp af
05:34
in the strict and narrow terms
of grades, percentiles and lead tables.
of grades, percentiles and lead tables.
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begrænsende termer
som karakterer og gennemsnit
som karakterer og gennemsnit
05:42
This is a society that preys
on their insecurities.
on their insecurities.
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Vores samfund udstiller
deres usikkerheder.
deres usikkerheder.
05:46
Insecurities about
how they are performing
how they are performing
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Usikkerhed om deres præstation
05:48
and how they are appearing
to other people.
to other people.
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og andres vurdering af dem.
05:50
This is a society that amplifies
their imperfections.
their imperfections.
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Samfundet forstærker deres uperfektheder.
05:54
Every flaw, every unforeseen setback
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Hver en fejl og uforudset tilbageslag
05:57
increases a need to perform
more perfectly next time, or else,
more perfectly next time, or else,
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presser dem til at være
endnu mere perfekte,
endnu mere perfekte,
06:02
bluntly, you're a failure.
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for ellers er man en fiasko.
06:05
That feeling of being flawed and deficient
is especially pervasive --
is especially pervasive --
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Følelsen af at fejle og
ikke slå til er udbredt.
ikke slå til er udbredt.
06:08
just talk to young people.
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Bare spørg de unge.
06:10
"How should I look, how should I behave?"
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"Hvordan skal jeg se ud og opføre mig?"
06:12
"I should look like that model,
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"Jeg skal ligne den model,
06:14
I should have as many followers
as that Instagram influencer,
as that Instagram influencer,
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jeg skal have flere følgere end
den influencer på Instagram,
den influencer på Instagram,
06:17
I must do better in school."
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jeg må være bedre i skolen"
06:20
In my role as mentor to many young people,
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Som mentor for mange unge,
06:24
I see these lived effects
of perfectionism firsthand.
of perfectionism firsthand.
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ser jeg konsekvensen af perfektionisme.
06:28
And one student sticks out
in my mind very vividly.
in my mind very vividly.
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Lad mig fortælle jer om en studerende
06:32
John, not his real name, was ambitious,
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John (opdigtet navn) var ambitiøs,
06:36
hardworking and diligent
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hårdtarbejdende og flittig
06:37
and on the surface,
he was exceptionally high-achieving,
he was exceptionally high-achieving,
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og udadtil usædvanligt højtydende,
06:40
often getting first-class
grades for his work.
grades for his work.
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ofte fik han de højeste karakterer
for sine afleveringer.
for sine afleveringer.
06:43
Yet, no matter how well John achieved,
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Men uanset hvad John præsterede,
06:47
he always seemed to recast
his successes as abject failures,
his successes as abject failures,
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så han sine successer
som ynkelige fiaskoer,
som ynkelige fiaskoer,
06:50
and in meetings with me,
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og på vores møder,
06:51
he would talk openly about
how he'd let himself and others down.
how he'd let himself and others down.
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talte han åbent om hvordan han
skuffede sig selv og andre.
skuffede sig selv og andre.
06:55
John's justification was quite simple:
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Hans logik var enkel:
06:57
How could he be a success
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Hvordan kunne han være en succes,
07:00
when he was trying so much harder
than other people
than other people
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når han knoklede meget hårdere end andre
07:02
just to attain the same outcomes?
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bare for at opnå de samme resultater?
07:04
See, John's perfectionism,
his unrelenting work ethic,
his unrelenting work ethic,
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Johns perfektionisme
og høje arbejdsmoral
og høje arbejdsmoral
07:09
was only serving to expose
what he saw as his inner weakness
what he saw as his inner weakness
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afslørede hans indre svaghed
07:13
to himself and to others.
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overfor ham selv og andre.
07:16
Cases like John's speak
to the harmfulness of perfectionism
to the harmfulness of perfectionism
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Johns eksempel viser bagsiden
07:19
as a way of being in the world.
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ved perfektion som livsstil.
07:21
Contrary to popular belief,
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Modsat hvad mange tror,
07:23
perfectionism is never about
perfecting things or perfecting tasks.
perfecting things or perfecting tasks.
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handler perfektionisme ikke om at
perfektionere ting eller handlinger.
perfektionere ting eller handlinger.
07:27
It's not about striving for excellence.
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Det er ikke at opnå ekspertise.
07:30
John's case highlights this vividly.
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Det viser Johns eksempel tydeligt.
07:32
At its root, perfectionism
is about perfecting the self.
is about perfecting the self.
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Grundlæggende handler perfektionisme
om at perfektionere selvet.
om at perfektionere selvet.
07:37
Or, more precisely,
perfecting an imperfect self.
perfecting an imperfect self.
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Mere præcist, perfektionere
det uperfekte selv.
det uperfekte selv.
07:41
And you can think about it
like a mountain of achievement
like a mountain of achievement
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Det er som et bjerg af præstationer,
07:45
that perfectionism leads us
to imagine ourselves scaling.
to imagine ourselves scaling.
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som perfektionisme får os til at bestige.
07:48
And we think to ourselves,
"Once I've reached that summit,
"Once I've reached that summit,
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Og vi tænker, "Når jeg når toppen,
07:51
then people will see I'm not flawed,
and I'll be worth something."
and I'll be worth something."
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vil folk se min værdi og ikke mine fejl."
07:55
But what perfectionism doesn't tell us
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Men hvad vi ikke ser,
07:57
is that soon after reaching that summit,
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er at når vi har nået toppen,
07:59
we will be called down again to the fresh
lowlands of insecurity and shame,
lowlands of insecurity and shame,
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ender vi tilbage i usikkerhedens
og skammens lavland,
og skammens lavland,
08:03
just to try and scale that peak again.
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til et nyt forsøg på at nå toppen.
08:06
This is the cycle of self-defeat.
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En selvdestruktiv cyklus.
08:08
In the pursuit of unattainable perfection,
a perfectionist just cannot step off.
a perfectionist just cannot step off.
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I jagten på uopnåelig perfektion,
kan perfektionisten ikke bare stå af.
kan perfektionisten ikke bare stå af.
08:13
And it's why it's so difficult to treat.
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Det gør det vanskeligt at behandle.
08:16
Now, we've known for decades and decades
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Vi har vidst i årtier
08:18
that perfectionism contributes
to a host of psychological problems,
to a host of psychological problems,
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at perfektionisme bidrager til et væld
af psykologiske problemer,
af psykologiske problemer,
08:21
but there was never
a good way to measure it.
a good way to measure it.
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men aldrig fundet
en god måde at påvise det.
en god måde at påvise det.
08:24
That was until the late 1980s
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Først sidst i 1980'erne,
08:25
when two Canadians,
Paul Hewitt and Gordon Flett,
Paul Hewitt and Gordon Flett,
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da canadierne Paul Hewitt og Gordon Flett,
08:28
came along and developed
a self-report measure of perfectionism.
a self-report measure of perfectionism.
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udviklede en måde at måle perfektionisme
gennem selv-rapportering.
gennem selv-rapportering.
08:32
So that's right, folks,
you can measure this,
you can measure this,
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Nemlig, det kan måles,
08:35
and it essentially captures
three core elements of perfectionism.
three core elements of perfectionism.
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og indfanger tre kerneelementer
af perfektionisme.
af perfektionisme.
08:40
The first is self-oriented perfectionism,
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Den første er
selv-centreret perfektionisme,
selv-centreret perfektionisme,
08:42
the irrational desire to be perfect:
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det irrationelle ønske om at være perfekt:
08:45
"I strive to be as perfect as I can be."
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"Jeg vil være så perfekt jeg kan."
08:48
The second is socially
prescribed perfectionism,
prescribed perfectionism,
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Den anden er socialt
påtvunget perfektion,
påtvunget perfektion,
08:51
the sense that the social environment
is excessively demanding:
is excessively demanding:
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oplevelsen af at det sociale miljø
kræver for meget:
kræver for meget:
08:55
"I feel that others
are too demanding of me."
are too demanding of me."
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"Andre forlanger for meget af mig"
08:57
And the third is
other-oriented perfectionism,
other-oriented perfectionism,
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Den tredje er udadrettet perfektionisme,
09:00
the imposition of unrealistic
standards on other people:
standards on other people:
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at påtvinge andre urealistiske standarder:
09:02
"If I ask somebody to do something,
I expect it to be done perfectly."
I expect it to be done perfectly."
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"Hvis jeg beder nogen gøre noget,
så forventer jeg det gjort perfekt."
så forventer jeg det gjort perfekt."
09:07
Now, research shows that all
three elements of perfectionism
three elements of perfectionism
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Undersøgelser viser en sammenhæng
mellem alle tre elementer
mellem alle tre elementer
09:09
associate with compromised mental health,
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og udfordringer i den mentale sundhed,
09:11
including things
like heightened depression,
like heightened depression,
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såsom depression,
09:13
heightened anxiety and suicide ideation.
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angst og selvmordstanker.
09:15
But, by far, the most problematic
element of perfectionism
element of perfectionism
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Det mest problematiske element
09:18
is socially prescribed perfectionism.
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er socialt påtvunget perfektion.
09:20
That sense that everyone
expects me to be perfect.
expects me to be perfect.
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Følelsen af at alle forventer
jeg er perfekt.
jeg er perfekt.
09:24
This element of perfectionism
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Dette element
09:25
has a large correlation
with serious mental illness.
with serious mental illness.
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hænger tydeligt sammen med
alvorlig psykisk sygdom.
alvorlig psykisk sygdom.
09:28
And with today's emphasis on perfection
at the forefront of my mind,
at the forefront of my mind,
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Og med nutidens fokus på
perfektion i frisk erindring,
perfektion i frisk erindring,
09:34
I was curious to see whether these
elements of perfectionism were changing.
elements of perfectionism were changing.
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var jeg nysgerrig på
om disse elementer ændrede sig.
om disse elementer ændrede sig.
09:37
To date, research in this area
is focused on immediate family relations,
is focused on immediate family relations,
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Indtil nu har forskningen fokuseret på
de nære familierelationer,
de nære familierelationer,
09:41
but we wanted to look at it
at a broader level.
at a broader level.
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men vi ønskede at kigge bredere.
09:44
So we took all of the data
that had ever been collected
that had ever been collected
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Så vi tog alle data, der var indsamlet
09:47
in the 27 years since Paul and Gordon
developed that perfectionism measure,
developed that perfectionism measure,
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i de 27 år siden Paul og Gordon
udviklede perfektionsmålingen,
udviklede perfektionsmålingen,
09:52
and we isolated the data
in college students.
in college students.
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og isolerede data om
universitetsstuderende.
universitetsstuderende.
09:54
This turned out to be
more than 40,000 young people
more than 40,000 young people
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Mere end 40.000 unge
09:57
from American, Canadian
and British colleges,
and British colleges,
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fra universiteter i USA, Canada og England
09:59
and with so much data available,
we looked to see if there was a trend.
we looked to see if there was a trend.
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og vi ledte efter tendenser i de mange data.
10:04
And in all, it took us
more than three years
more than three years
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Det tog os over tre år
10:06
to collate all of this information,
crunch the numbers,
crunch the numbers,
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at samle al information, knuse tallene
10:09
and write our report.
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og skrive vores rapport.
10:10
But it was worth it because our analysis
uncovered something alarming.
uncovered something alarming.
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Vores analyse afdækkede
noget opsigtsvækkende.
noget opsigtsvækkende.
10:15
All three elements of perfectionism
have increased over time.
have increased over time.
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Alle tre elementer af perfektionisme
er forøget med tiden.
er forøget med tiden.
10:19
But socially prescribed perfectionism
saw the largest increase, and by far.
saw the largest increase, and by far.
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Men socialt påtvunget perfektion
var klart steget mest.
var klart steget mest.
10:24
In 1989,
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I 1989
10:25
just nine percent of young people
report clinically relevant levels
report clinically relevant levels
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rapporterede blot 9% af de unge
klinisk relevante niveauer
klinisk relevante niveauer
10:29
of socially prescribed perfectionism.
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af socialt påtvunget perfektionisme.
10:30
Those are levels that we might
typically see in clinical populations.
typically see in clinical populations.
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Sådanne niveauer er typiske
i kliniske grupper.
i kliniske grupper.
10:35
By 2017, that figure
had doubled to 18 percent.
had doubled to 18 percent.
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I 2017 var tallet fordoblet til 18%.
10:40
And by 2050, projections
based on the models that we tested
based on the models that we tested
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Og i 2050 forudser vores modeller
10:44
indicate that almost one
in three young people
in three young people
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at næsten en ud af tre unge
10:46
will report clinically relevant levels
of socially prescribed perfectionism.
of socially prescribed perfectionism.
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vil rapportere klinisk relevante niveauer
af socialt påtvunget perfektion.
af socialt påtvunget perfektion.
10:51
Remember, this is the element
of perfectionism
of perfectionism
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Husk på at dette element
10:53
that has the largest correlation
with serious mental illness,
with serious mental illness,
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har den største sammenhæng
med alvorlig psykisk sygdom
med alvorlig psykisk sygdom
10:56
and that's for good reason.
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og med god grund.
10:58
Socially prescribed perfectionists
feel a unrelenting need
feel a unrelenting need
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Perfektionister af den type
føler konstant behov
føler konstant behov
11:01
to meet the expectations of other people.
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for at møde andres forventninger.
11:04
And even if they do meet
yesterday's expectation of perfection,
yesterday's expectation of perfection,
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Og selv hvis de lever op til
andres forventninger,
andres forventninger,
11:08
they then raise the bar on themselves
to an even higher degree
to an even higher degree
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så hæver de niveauet næste gang,
11:12
because these folks believe
that the better they do,
that the better they do,
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for disse mennesker tror
at jo bedre de klarer sig,
at jo bedre de klarer sig,
11:15
the better that they're expected to do.
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jo højere er forventningerne til dem.
11:18
This breeds a profound sense
of helplessness and, worse, hopelessness.
of helplessness and, worse, hopelessness.
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Det afføder hjælpeløshed
og værre, håbløshed.
og værre, håbløshed.
11:24
But is there hope?
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Er der håb?
11:26
Of course there's hope.
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Selvfølgelig er der håb
11:27
Perfectionists can and should
hold on to certain things --
hold on to certain things --
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Perfektionister skal
holde fast i visse egenskaber,
holde fast i visse egenskaber,
11:30
they are typically bright, ambitious,
conscientious and hardworking.
conscientious and hardworking.
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de er ofte kloge, ambitiøse
og hårdtarbejdende.
og hårdtarbejdende.
11:35
And yes, treatment is complex.
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Behandlingen er kompleks.
11:38
But a little bit of self-compassion,
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Men lidt medfølelse med sig selv,
11:41
going easy on ourselves
when things don't go well,
when things don't go well,
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når ting ikke går som forventet,
11:43
can turn those qualities
into greater personal peace and success.
into greater personal peace and success.
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kan forandre disse egenskaber
til større personlig ro og succes.
til større personlig ro og succes.
11:47
And then there's what
we can do as caregivers.
we can do as caregivers.
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Og deres omsorgspersoner kan også bidrage.
11:50
Perfectionism develops
in our formative years,
in our formative years,
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Perfektionisme udvikles, mens vi er børn,
11:53
and so young people are more vulnerable.
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og derfor er unge mere udsatte.
11:56
Parents can help their children
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Forældre kan hjælpe deres børn
11:57
by supporting them unconditionally
when they've tried but failed.
when they've tried but failed.
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ved betingelsesløst at støtte dem,
når de prøvede, men fejlede.
når de prøvede, men fejlede.
12:02
And Mom and Dad can resist
their understandable urge
their understandable urge
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Og forældre må modstå fristelsen
12:04
in today's highly competitive society
to helicopter-parent,
to helicopter-parent,
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til konstant at blande sig,
12:09
as a lot of anxiety is communicated
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for det afføder angst
12:12
when parents take on their kids'
successes and failures as their own.
successes and failures as their own.
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når forældre opfatter barnets
successer og fiaskoer som deres egne.
successer og fiaskoer som deres egne.
12:16
But ultimately, our research
raises important questions
raises important questions
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Vores forskning rejser vigtige spørgsmål
12:19
about how we are structuring society
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om vores samfundsstruktur
12:22
and whether our society's heavy emphasis
on competition, evaluation and testing
on competition, evaluation and testing
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og om dets fokus på
konkurrence, vurderinger og tests
konkurrence, vurderinger og tests
12:26
is benefiting young people.
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gavner de unge.
12:28
It's become commonplace
for public figures to say
for public figures to say
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Man hører ofte i pressen
12:31
that young people just need
a little bit more resilience
a little bit more resilience
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at unge blot skal være mere robuste,
12:34
in the face of these new
and unprecedented pressures.
and unprecedented pressures.
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når de møder dette nye forventningspres.
12:38
But I believe that is us
washing our hands of the core issue
washing our hands of the core issue
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Jeg mener derimod at vi undlader
at tage ansvar for problemets kerne,
at tage ansvar for problemets kerne,
12:43
because we have a shared responsibility
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for vi deler alle ansvaret
12:45
to create a society and a culture
in which young people need less perfection
in which young people need less perfection
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for at skabe en kultur hvor unge
kan være mindre perfekte
kan være mindre perfekte
12:51
in the first place.
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som udgangspunkt.
12:53
Let's not kid ourselves.
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Det bliver ikke nemt.
12:54
Creating that kind of world
is an enormous challenge,
is an enormous challenge,
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Det er en stor udfordring
at skabe sådan en verden,
at skabe sådan en verden,
12:56
and for a generation of young people
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og for en generation af unge
12:58
that live their lives
in the 24/7 spotlight
in the 24/7 spotlight
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der hele tiden er i kontakt med
13:00
of metrics, lead tables and social media,
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karakterer og sociale medier,
13:03
perfectionism is inevitable,
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er perfektionisme uundgåelig,
13:05
so long as they lack any purpose in life
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så længe de ikke har større formål
13:07
greater than how they are appearing
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i livet end deres fremtoning
13:09
or how they are performing
to other people.
to other people.
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og hvordan de klarer sig
i forhold til andre.
i forhold til andre.
13:11
What can they do about it?
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Hvad kan de gøre?
13:12
Every time they are knocked down
from that mountaintop,
from that mountaintop,
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Hver gang de skubbes ned
fra toppen af bjerget
fra toppen af bjerget
13:15
they see no other option
but to try scaling that peak again.
but to try scaling that peak again.
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ser de ingen anden udvej
end at bestige bjerget igen.
end at bestige bjerget igen.
13:19
The ancient Greeks knew
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De gamle grækere vidste
13:20
that this endless struggle
up and down the same mountain
up and down the same mountain
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at denne endeløse kamp mod bjerget
13:24
is not the road to happiness.
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ikke fører til lykke.
13:26
Their image of hell
was a man called Sisyphus,
was a man called Sisyphus,
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Deres billede af Helvede
var manden Sisyfos
var manden Sisyfos
13:28
doomed for eternity to keep rolling
the same boulder up a hill,
the same boulder up a hill,
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dømt til for evigt at skubbe
den samme sten op ad en bakke
den samme sten op ad en bakke
13:32
only to see it roll back down
and have to start again.
and have to start again.
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blot for at se den rulle ned igen
så han måtte starte forfra.
så han måtte starte forfra.
13:36
So long as we teach young people
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Så længe vi lærer de unge
13:38
that there is nothing more real
or meaningful in their lives
or meaningful in their lives
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at det mest ægte eller
meningsfulde i deres liv
meningsfulde i deres liv
13:41
than this hopeless quest for perfection,
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er en håbløs jagt på perfektion,
13:43
then we are going to condemn
future generations
future generations
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vil fremtidige generationer ende
13:45
to that same futility and despair.
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i den samme fortvivlende situation.
13:49
And so we're left with a question.
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Så spørgsmålet er
13:52
When are we going to appreciate
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Hvornår indser vi
13:53
that there is something
fundamentally inhuman
fundamentally inhuman
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at der er noget
grundlæggende umenneskeligt
grundlæggende umenneskeligt
13:57
about limitless perfection?
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ved grænseløs perfektion
14:00
No one is flawless.
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Ingen er fejlfri.
14:01
If we want to help our young people
escape the trap of perfectionism,
escape the trap of perfectionism,
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Hvis vi vil hjælpe de unge
ud af perfektionismens kløer,
ud af perfektionismens kløer,
14:06
then we will teach them
that in a chaotic world,
that in a chaotic world,
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så skal vi lære dem,
at i en kaotisk verden,
at i en kaotisk verden,
14:10
life will often defeat us, but that's OK.
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vil livet ofte overmande os, men det er OK
14:13
Failure is not weakness.
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Fiasko er ikke svaghed.
14:16
If we want to help our young people
outgrow this self-defeating snare
outgrow this self-defeating snare
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Hvis vi vil hjælpe de unge ud af
denne selvødelæggende fælde
denne selvødelæggende fælde
14:19
of impossible perfection,
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af umulig perfektion,
14:21
then we will raise them in a society
that has outgrown that very same delusion.
that has outgrown that very same delusion.
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så skal hele samfundet stoppe
med at nære den samme illusion.
med at nære den samme illusion.
14:26
But most of all,
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Men vigtigst af alt,
14:28
if we want our young people
to enjoy mental, emotional
to enjoy mental, emotional
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hvis vi ønsker vores unge skal
være følelsesmæssigt
være følelsesmæssigt
14:32
and psychological health,
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og psykologisk sunde
14:33
then we will invite them
to celebrate the joys
to celebrate the joys
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så skal vi vise dem glæden
14:37
and the beauties of imperfection
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og skønheden ved det uperfekte
14:41
as a normal and natural part
of everyday living and loving.
of everyday living and loving.
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som en naturlig del af hverdagen.
14:48
Thank you very much.
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Mange tak
14:49
(Applause)
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(Bifald)
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Thomas Curran - Social and personality psychologistThomas Curran studies the personality characteristic of perfectionism, how it develops and its impact on mental health.
Why you should listen
Social and personality psychologist Thomas Curran is a member of the Centre for Motivation and Health Behavior Change in Bath, UK; the Motivation, Personality, and Well-being research group in York, UK; and is currently an assistant professor in the Department for Health at the University of Bath. His research rose to prominence following a 2017 publication of the first systems-level cohort study to show that perfectionism is on the rise in American, Canadian and British college students. Since then, he has written and spoken extensively on how we have created societies perfectly calibrated to promote perfectionism, which is contributing to almost epidemic levels of serious mental illness among young people. Curran is the author of over 30 published papers and has received numerous awards for his scholarship and research.
Thomas Curran | Speaker | TED.com