TEDMED 2018
Thomas Curran: Our dangerous obsession with perfectionism is getting worse
湯瑪斯．科倫: 我們對完美主義的執迷正越陷越深
Filmed:
Readability: 5.1
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社會心理學家湯瑪斯．科倫探討了來自社交媒體、學校，以及職場要求完美的壓力如何導致精神疾病的增加，而這種情況在年輕人之中更為顯著。一起來了解更多關於這種現象的起因，以及我們該如何創造一種文化來頌揚不完美的喜樂。
Thomas Curran - Social and personality psychologist
Thomas Curran studies the personality characteristic of perfectionism, how it develops and its impact on mental health. Full bio
Thomas Curran studies the personality characteristic of perfectionism, how it develops and its impact on mental health. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
（掌聲）
00:12
I'm a bit of a perfectionist.
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我有點太完美主義了。
00:16
Now, how many times
have you heard that one?
have you heard that one?
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這句話你聽過多少次了？
00:19
Over drinks, maybe, with friends,
or perhaps with family at Thanksgiving.
or perhaps with family at Thanksgiving.
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也許是在跟朋友喝兩杯的時候，
或是跟家人過感恩節時聽到的。
或是跟家人過感恩節時聽到的。
00:25
It's everyone's favorite flaw,
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這是每個人最偏愛的缺點。
00:27
it's that now quite common response
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去求職面試，最後
被問到這個難題的時候，
被問到這個難題的時候，
00:31
to the difficult, final question
at job interviews:
at job interviews:
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大家也常拋出這個答案：
00:36
"My biggest weakness?
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「我最大的缺點？
00:38
That's my perfectionism."
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那就是我太完美主義了。」
00:41
You see, for something
that supposedly holds us back,
that supposedly holds us back,
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值得注意的是：儘管它算是個障礙，
00:45
it's quite remarkable how many of us
are quite happy to hold our hands up
are quite happy to hold our hands up
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卻有這麼多人樂意舉手承認，
00:48
and say we're perfectionists.
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說自己是完美主義者。
00:51
But there's an interesting
and serious point
and serious point
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但有個有趣而又嚴肅的重點，
即是我們太充滿了對完美的欽羨，
00:55
because our begrudging admiration
for perfection is so pervasive
for perfection is so pervasive
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01:02
that we never really stop to question
that concept in its own terms.
that concept in its own terms.
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而沒去質疑完美的真正涵義。
01:06
What does it say about us and our society
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當我們和我們的社會
都在頌揚完美的時候，
都在頌揚完美的時候，
01:10
that there is a kind
of celebration in perfection?
of celebration in perfection?
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這反映出了什麼？
01:14
We tend to hold perfectionism up
as an insignia of worth.
as an insignia of worth.
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我們常會高舉完美主義
作為一種身價的表徵。
作為一種身價的表徵。
01:21
The emblem of the successful.
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一種成功的象徵。
然而在我對於完美主義的研究裡，
01:25
Yet, in my time studying perfectionism,
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01:27
I've seen limited evidence
that perfectionists are more successful.
that perfectionists are more successful.
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我很少看到完美主義者
比較成功的例子。
比較成功的例子。
01:31
Quite the contrary --
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恰恰相反——
01:33
they feel discontented and dissatisfied
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他們感到不滿、失望，
01:36
amid a lingering sense
that they're never quite perfect enough.
that they're never quite perfect enough.
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始終擺脫不了自己不夠完美的感覺。
01:40
We know from clinician case reports
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臨床病例報告顯示：
01:42
that perfectionism conceals
a host of psychological difficulties,
a host of psychological difficulties,
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完美主義掩蓋了許多心理問題，
01:45
including things like depression,
anxiety, anorexia, bulimia
anxiety, anorexia, bulimia
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包括抑鬱症、焦慮、厭食、貪食，
01:49
and even suicide ideation.
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甚至自殺念頭。
01:52
And what's more worrying
is that over the last 25 years,
is that over the last 25 years,
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更令人擔憂的是在過去 25 年裡，
01:56
we have seen perfectionism rise
at an alarming rate.
at an alarming rate.
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完美主義以驚人的速度上升。
02:00
And at the same time,
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與此同時，
02:01
we have seen more mental illness
among young people than ever before.
among young people than ever before.
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年輕人患精神疾病的也比以往更多。
02:05
Rates of suicide in the US alone
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光是在美國，
自殺率在過去 20 年裡
便增加了 25％。
便增加了 25％。
02:08
increased by 25 percent
across the last two decades.
across the last two decades.
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02:12
And we're beginning to see similar trends
emerge across Canada,
emerge across Canada,
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在加拿大，以及在我的家鄉英國
02:15
and in my home country,
the United Kingdom.
the United Kingdom.
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我們也開始看到類似的趨勢。
02:18
Now, our research is suggesting
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我們的研究顯示：
02:21
that perfectionism is rising
as society is changing.
as society is changing.
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隨著社會變遷，完美主義正在提升。
02:25
And a changed society reflects
a changed sense of personal identity
a changed sense of personal identity
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一個變遷的社會，
反映出個人認知的改變，
反映出個人認知的改變，
02:30
and, with it, differences in the way
in which young people interact
in which young people interact
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以及年輕人彼此之間
和他們與周遭環境之間
互動方式的改變。
互動方式的改變。
02:34
with each other and the world around them.
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02:36
And there are some unique characteristics
about our preeminent, market-based society
about our preeminent, market-based society
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我們這個卓越的市場導向社會
有一些獨特的特徵，
有一些獨特的特徵，
02:42
that include things
like unrestricted choice
like unrestricted choice
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包括不受限的選擇，
02:44
and personal freedom,
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和個人自由等。
02:46
and these are characteristics
that we feel are contributing
that we feel are contributing
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而我們覺得恰恰是這些特徵
助長了這個問題的氾濫。
02:49
to almost epidemic levels of this problem.
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02:53
So let me give you an example.
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我來舉個例子。
02:56
Young people today are more preoccupied
with the attainment of the perfect life
with the attainment of the perfect life
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今天的年輕人更專注於
實現完美的人生
實現完美的人生
和生活方式。
03:00
and lifestyle.
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03:01
In terms of their image,
status and wealth.
status and wealth.
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追求的是他們的外貌，地位和財富。
03:03
Data from Pew show that young people
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皮尤研究中心的數據顯示：
出生於 1980 年代末的
美國年輕人裡，
美國年輕人裡，
03:08
born in the US in the late 1980s
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03:12
are 20 percent more likely
to report being materially rich
to report being materially rich
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將追求物質財富列為
重要人生目標的比例，
重要人生目標的比例，
比他們的父母、祖父母輩
03:17
as among their most important life goals,
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03:19
relative to their parents
and their grandparents.
and their grandparents.
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還要高出 20%。
03:22
Young people also borrow more heavily
than did older generations,
than did older generations,
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年輕人也比老一輩的人借貸得更多，
03:25
and they spend a much greater proportion
of their income on image goods
of their income on image goods
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他們的收入中有更大的比例
花在與外貌有關的商品上，
花在與外貌有關的商品上，
和炫耀身分地位的物件上。
03:30
and status possessions.
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03:31
These possessions,
their lives and their lifestyles
their lives and their lifestyles
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這些物件、他們的
日常生活及生活方式
日常生活及生活方式
03:36
are now displayed in vivid detail
on the ubiquitous social media platforms
on the ubiquitous social media platforms
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現在都鮮活地展示於無所不在的
Instagram、Facebook、
Snapchat 等社交媒體平台上。
Snapchat 等社交媒體平台上。
03:40
of Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat.
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03:44
In this new visual culture,
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在這個新的視覺文化中，
03:47
the appearance of perfection
is far more important than the reality.
is far more important than the reality.
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看起來完美，遠比現實更重要。
03:54
If one side of the modern landscape
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如果現代生活的一面，
是我們為年輕人勾畫的美景——
03:57
that we have so lavishly
furnished for young people
furnished for young people
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04:00
is this idea that there's
a perfectible life
a perfectible life
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生活可以變完美、
04:02
and that there's a perfectible lifestyle,
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可以有完美的生活方式，
04:04
then the other is surely work.
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那麼它的另一面肯定就是工作。
04:06
Nothing is out of reach
for those who want it badly enough.
for those who want it badly enough.
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只要你真心想要，沒有什麼做不到。
至少人家是這麼告訴我們的。
04:10
Or so we're told.
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04:11
This is the idea at the heart
of the American dream.
of the American dream.
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這是美國夢的中心思想。
04:15
Opportunity, meritocracy,
the self-made person, hard work.
the self-made person, hard work.
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機會均等，能者多得，
白手起家，勤奮工作。
白手起家，勤奮工作。
04:20
The notion that hard work always pays off.
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也就是說努力不會白費。
04:23
And above all, the idea
that we're captains of our own destiny.
that we're captains of our own destiny.
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更甚的是，相信我們是
自己命運的主宰。
自己命運的主宰。
04:27
These ideas, they connect
our wealth, our status
our wealth, our status
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這些想法，將財富、地位、外表
04:30
and our image with our innate,
personal value.
personal value.
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與我們固有的個人價值連結在一起。
04:35
But it is, of course, complete fiction.
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然而這完全是虛構的。
04:37
Because even if there were
equality of opportunity,
equality of opportunity,
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即使機會均等，
04:40
the idea that we are captains
of our own destiny
of our own destiny
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我們主宰自己命運的這種想法，
04:43
disguises a much darker
reality for young people
reality for young people
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向年輕人隱瞞了他們幾乎
04:46
that they are subject to an almost
ongoing economic tribunal.
ongoing economic tribunal.
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時時要受到經濟試煉的黑暗現實。
04:49
Metrics, rankings, lead tables
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指標、名次、排名表
04:52
have emerged as the yardsticks
for which merit can be quantified
for which merit can be quantified
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已成了評量好壞的標準，
04:55
and used to sort young people
into schools, classes and colleges.
into schools, classes and colleges.
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用來作分配年輕人到
學校、班級和大學的依據。
學校、班級和大學的依據。
05:01
Education is the first arena
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教育是第一個
05:03
where measurement
is so publicly played out
is so publicly played out
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公開做評量的競賽場，
05:06
and where metrics are being used
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成績指標被拿來作為
05:08
as a tool to improve standards
and performance.
and performance.
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提高標準和表現的工具。
05:12
And it starts young.
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而且從小就開始了。
05:14
Young people in America's
big city high schools
big city high schools
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美國大城市的高中生
05:17
take some 112 mandatory standardized tests
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從學前班到高三必須參加
05:22
between prekindergarten
and the end of 12th grade.
and the end of 12th grade.
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多達 112 次的標準測試。
05:26
No wonder young people report
a strong need to strive,
a strong need to strive,
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難怪現代生活中的年輕人
05:28
perform and achieve
at the center of modern life.
at the center of modern life.
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覺得有去努力、表現
和達成目標的強烈需要。
和達成目標的強烈需要。
05:31
They've been conditioned
to define themselves
to define themselves
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他們被教得只會拿嚴格而狹隘的
05:34
in the strict and narrow terms
of grades, percentiles and lead tables.
of grades, percentiles and lead tables.
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分數、百分比和排名表來定義自己。
05:42
This is a society that preys
on their insecurities.
on their insecurities.
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這是一個會利用他們的
不安全感的社會。
不安全感的社會。
05:46
Insecurities about
how they are performing
how they are performing
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他們對自己的表現
05:48
and how they are appearing
to other people.
to other people.
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以及對別人如何看待自己
有著不安全感。
有著不安全感。
05:50
This is a society that amplifies
their imperfections.
their imperfections.
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這個社會將他們的不完美放大。
05:54
Every flaw, every unforeseen setback
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每一個缺點，每一次意料外的挫折，
05:57
increases a need to perform
more perfectly next time, or else,
more perfectly next time, or else,
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都讓人覺得下次需要做得更完美，
否則，不客氣地說，你就是沒用。
06:02
bluntly, you're a failure.
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06:05
That feeling of being flawed and deficient
is especially pervasive --
is especially pervasive --
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那種自己有缺陷和不足的
感覺特別普遍——
感覺特別普遍——
跟年輕人聊聊就知道。
06:08
just talk to young people.
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06:10
"How should I look, how should I behave?"
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「我該怎麼打扮？我該怎麼表現？」
06:12
"I should look like that model,
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「我應該妝扮得像那個模特兒，
06:14
I should have as many followers
as that Instagram influencer,
as that Instagram influencer,
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我應該和那個 IG 網紅
有一樣多的粉絲，
有一樣多的粉絲，
06:17
I must do better in school."
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我在學校必須表現得更好。」
06:20
In my role as mentor to many young people,
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我輔導許多年輕人的時候，
06:24
I see these lived effects
of perfectionism firsthand.
of perfectionism firsthand.
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就目睹了完美主義的影響。
06:28
And one student sticks out
in my mind very vividly.
in my mind very vividly.
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我對某個學生的印象特別深刻。
06:32
John, not his real name, was ambitious,
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約翰（假名）雄心萬丈，
06:36
hardworking and diligent
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賣力又勤奮，
06:37
and on the surface,
he was exceptionally high-achieving,
he was exceptionally high-achieving,
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表面上看起來他成就非凡，
06:40
often getting first-class
grades for his work.
grades for his work.
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成績常常是頭等。
06:43
Yet, no matter how well John achieved,
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然而，無論約翰取得多大成就，
06:47
he always seemed to recast
his successes as abject failures,
his successes as abject failures,
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他似乎總是將自己的成功
視為可悲的失敗，
視為可悲的失敗，
而且在和我面談的時候，
06:50
and in meetings with me,
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06:51
he would talk openly about
how he'd let himself and others down.
how he'd let himself and others down.
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他毫不隱諱地談論他如何
讓自己和別人失望。
讓自己和別人失望。
06:55
John's justification was quite simple:
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約翰的理由很簡單：
06:57
How could he be a success
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他比別人付出了更多努力
07:00
when he was trying so much harder
than other people
than other people
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也只達到和他們同樣的結果，
07:02
just to attain the same outcomes?
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那怎麼能算是成功？
07:04
See, John's perfectionism,
his unrelenting work ethic,
his unrelenting work ethic,
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所以你們看，約翰的
完美主義和不懈的努力，
完美主義和不懈的努力，
07:09
was only serving to expose
what he saw as his inner weakness
what he saw as his inner weakness
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就只向自己和他人暴露了
07:13
to himself and to others.
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他自認為是內心的弱點。
07:16
Cases like John's speak
to the harmfulness of perfectionism
to the harmfulness of perfectionism
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像約翰這樣的例子，
說明了以完美主義處世
說明了以完美主義處世
07:19
as a way of being in the world.
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是有害的。
07:21
Contrary to popular belief,
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與一般的看法相反，
07:23
perfectionism is never about
perfecting things or perfecting tasks.
perfecting things or perfecting tasks.
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完美主義完全無關於
把事做完美或將物變完美。
把事做完美或將物變完美。
07:27
It's not about striving for excellence.
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它無關於對卓越的追求。
07:30
John's case highlights this vividly.
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約翰的例子鮮明地展示了這一點。
07:32
At its root, perfectionism
is about perfecting the self.
is about perfecting the self.
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追根究底，完美主義
是為了完善自己。
是為了完善自己。
07:37
Or, more precisely,
perfecting an imperfect self.
perfecting an imperfect self.
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或者更準確地說，是要
完善一個不完美的自己。
完善一個不完美的自己。
07:41
And you can think about it
like a mountain of achievement
like a mountain of achievement
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你可以把它想作一座成就的高山。
07:45
that perfectionism leads us
to imagine ourselves scaling.
to imagine ourselves scaling.
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完美主義讓我們想像自己在爬山。
07:48
And we think to ourselves,
"Once I've reached that summit,
"Once I've reached that summit,
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我們會想：「只要我到達頂峰，
07:51
then people will see I'm not flawed,
and I'll be worth something."
and I'll be worth something."
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大家就會看到我是完美、
是有價值的。」
是有價值的。」
07:55
But what perfectionism doesn't tell us
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然而完美主義沒告訴我們，
07:57
is that soon after reaching that summit,
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一旦到達頂峰，
07:59
we will be called down again to the fresh
lowlands of insecurity and shame,
lowlands of insecurity and shame,
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它又會叫我們下山，回到
沒安全感又無顏面的新低地，
沒安全感又無顏面的新低地，
08:03
just to try and scale that peak again.
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然後再重蹈登頂之路。
08:06
This is the cycle of self-defeat.
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這是自我挫敗的循環。
08:08
In the pursuit of unattainable perfection,
a perfectionist just cannot step off.
a perfectionist just cannot step off.
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追求著無法達到的完美，
完美主義者就是無法脫困。
完美主義者就是無法脫困。
08:13
And it's why it's so difficult to treat.
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所以很難治療。
08:16
Now, we've known for decades and decades
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數十年來，我們早就知道
08:18
that perfectionism contributes
to a host of psychological problems,
to a host of psychological problems,
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完美主義助長了許多心理問題，
08:21
but there was never
a good way to measure it.
a good way to measure it.
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但是一直沒有好的方法去衡量。
08:24
That was until the late 1980s
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直到 1980 年代末期，
08:25
when two Canadians,
Paul Hewitt and Gordon Flett,
Paul Hewitt and Gordon Flett,
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保羅．休伊特和戈登．弗列特
兩位加拿大人發展出一套
兩位加拿大人發展出一套
08:28
came along and developed
a self-report measure of perfectionism.
a self-report measure of perfectionism.
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完美主義自我檢測的衡量方法。
08:32
So that's right, folks,
you can measure this,
you can measure this,
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沒錯，各位，你可以衡量完美主義。
08:35
and it essentially captures
three core elements of perfectionism.
three core elements of perfectionism.
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它基本上捕捉了
完美主義的三個核心要素。
完美主義的三個核心要素。
08:40
The first is self-oriented perfectionism,
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第一是自我取向的完美主義，
08:42
the irrational desire to be perfect:
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追求完美的非理性慾望：
08:45
"I strive to be as perfect as I can be."
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「我努力去做到盡善盡美。」
08:48
The second is socially
prescribed perfectionism,
prescribed perfectionism,
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第二是社會取向完美主義，
08:51
the sense that the social environment
is excessively demanding:
is excessively demanding:
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感受到社會環境的過分要求：
08:55
"I feel that others
are too demanding of me."
are too demanding of me."
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「我覺得別人對我太苛求了。」
08:57
And the third is
other-oriented perfectionism,
other-oriented perfectionism,
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第三是他人取向完美主義，
09:00
the imposition of unrealistic
standards on other people:
standards on other people:
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強加不切實際的標準於他人：
09:02
"If I ask somebody to do something,
I expect it to be done perfectly."
I expect it to be done perfectly."
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「如果我要求某人做某事，
我期待完美無瑕的成果。」
我期待完美無瑕的成果。」
09:07
Now, research shows that all
three elements of perfectionism
three elements of perfectionism
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研究顯示完美主義的三個元素
09:09
associate with compromised mental health,
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都與心理不健康相關，
09:11
including things
like heightened depression,
like heightened depression,
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包括重度抑鬱，
09:13
heightened anxiety and suicide ideation.
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541990
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重度焦慮和自殺念頭。
09:15
But, by far, the most problematic
element of perfectionism
element of perfectionism
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而問題最大的完美主義元素
09:18
is socially prescribed perfectionism.
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是社會取向完美主義。
09:20
That sense that everyone
expects me to be perfect.
expects me to be perfect.
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那種每個人都期待我完美的感覺。
09:24
This element of perfectionism
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這個完美主義的元素
09:25
has a large correlation
with serious mental illness.
with serious mental illness.
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與嚴重精神疾病有很大的關係。
09:28
And with today's emphasis on perfection
at the forefront of my mind,
at the forefront of my mind,
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再加上現今對完美的強調，
這一點是我最重視的，
這一點是我最重視的，
09:34
I was curious to see whether these
elements of perfectionism were changing.
elements of perfectionism were changing.
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我很好奇這些完美主義
元素是否隨時間在變。
元素是否隨時間在變。
09:37
To date, research in this area
is focused on immediate family relations,
is focused on immediate family relations,
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迄今這方面的研究
都專注於近親關係，
都專注於近親關係，
09:41
but we wanted to look at it
at a broader level.
at a broader level.
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但是我們想在更廣泛的層面檢視它。
09:44
So we took all of the data
that had ever been collected
that had ever been collected
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所以我們拿了自保羅和戈登
發明完美主義檢測法以來
發明完美主義檢測法以來
09:47
in the 27 years since Paul and Gordon
developed that perfectionism measure,
developed that perfectionism measure,
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27 年內蒐集的所有數據，
09:52
and we isolated the data
in college students.
in college students.
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抽取出其中關於大學生的資料。
09:54
This turned out to be
more than 40,000 young people
more than 40,000 young people
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共有超過 40,000 名年輕人，
09:57
from American, Canadian
and British colleges,
and British colleges,
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分別來自美國、
加拿大及英國的大學，
加拿大及英國的大學，
09:59
and with so much data available,
we looked to see if there was a trend.
we looked to see if there was a trend.
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從這麼多的數據中，我們去
找看看是否有變化趨勢。
找看看是否有變化趨勢。
10:04
And in all, it took us
more than three years
more than three years
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我們共花了三年多，
10:06
to collate all of this information,
crunch the numbers,
crunch the numbers,
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彙整資料、計算數據，
並寫下報告。
10:09
and write our report.
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10:10
But it was worth it because our analysis
uncovered something alarming.
uncovered something alarming.
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但這是值得的，因為我們的
分析揭露了令人警惕的事情。
分析揭露了令人警惕的事情。
10:15
All three elements of perfectionism
have increased over time.
have increased over time.
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完美主義的三個因素都隨時間遞增。
10:19
But socially prescribed perfectionism
saw the largest increase, and by far.
saw the largest increase, and by far.
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4513
但社會取向完美主義
增加最多，而且最顯著。
增加最多，而且最顯著。
10:24
In 1989,
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在 1989 年，
10:25
just nine percent of young people
report clinically relevant levels
report clinically relevant levels
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僅有百分之九的年輕人
在臨床上有達到
社會取向完美主義的程度。
社會取向完美主義的程度。
10:29
of socially prescribed perfectionism.
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10:30
Those are levels that we might
typically see in clinical populations.
typically see in clinical populations.
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那種程度在臨床上很常見。
10:35
By 2017, that figure
had doubled to 18 percent.
had doubled to 18 percent.
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到 2017 年，那個數字
已加倍至 18％。
已加倍至 18％。
10:40
And by 2050, projections
based on the models that we tested
based on the models that we tested
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等到 2050 年，依我們
測試模型的預測
測試模型的預測
10:44
indicate that almost one
in three young people
in three young people
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幾乎每三個年輕人中，
10:46
will report clinically relevant levels
of socially prescribed perfectionism.
of socially prescribed perfectionism.
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便有一個會有社會取向
完美主義的症狀。
完美主義的症狀。
10:51
Remember, this is the element
of perfectionism
of perfectionism
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請記住，這個完美主義元素
10:53
that has the largest correlation
with serious mental illness,
with serious mental illness,
196
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2885
與嚴重精神疾病有最大相關性，
而且那是有道理的。
10:56
and that's for good reason.
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1532
10:58
Socially prescribed perfectionists
feel a unrelenting need
feel a unrelenting need
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社會取向完美主義者感到有種
要滿足他人期望的無止境需求。
11:01
to meet the expectations of other people.
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3270
11:04
And even if they do meet
yesterday's expectation of perfection,
yesterday's expectation of perfection,
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即使他們達到了昨天對完美的期望，
11:08
they then raise the bar on themselves
to an even higher degree
to an even higher degree
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他們今天又提高了
自己完美標準的門檻，
自己完美標準的門檻，
11:12
because these folks believe
that the better they do,
that the better they do,
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因為這些人相信當他們做得越好，
11:15
the better that they're expected to do.
203
663805
2397
別人對他們的期望就越高。
11:18
This breeds a profound sense
of helplessness and, worse, hopelessness.
of helplessness and, worse, hopelessness.
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這釀成了深深的無助感，
甚至到了絕望的地步。
甚至到了絕望的地步。
11:24
But is there hope?
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但是還有希望嗎？
11:26
Of course there's hope.
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674378
1413
當然有。
11:27
Perfectionists can and should
hold on to certain things --
hold on to certain things --
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完美主義者可以
而且應該要堅持某些事情。
而且應該要堅持某些事情。
11:30
they are typically bright, ambitious,
conscientious and hardworking.
conscientious and hardworking.
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他們通常聰明、上進，
認真而且勤奮。
認真而且勤奮。
11:35
And yes, treatment is complex.
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2555
沒錯，要治療很複雜。
11:38
But a little bit of self-compassion,
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2841
但只要疼惜自己一點，
11:41
going easy on ourselves
when things don't go well,
when things don't go well,
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事情不順利時對自己寬容些，
11:43
can turn those qualities
into greater personal peace and success.
into greater personal peace and success.
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就能將這些特質轉化成
更多的內心平靜與成功。
更多的內心平靜與成功。
11:47
And then there's what
we can do as caregivers.
we can do as caregivers.
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我們作為照護者也能幫助他們。
11:50
Perfectionism develops
in our formative years,
in our formative years,
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3165
完美主義在我們的成長階段中形成，
11:53
and so young people are more vulnerable.
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2254
因此年輕人更容易受害。
11:56
Parents can help their children
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當孩子努力但失敗時，
11:57
by supporting them unconditionally
when they've tried but failed.
when they've tried but failed.
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父母可以無條件地支持他們。
12:02
And Mom and Dad can resist
their understandable urge
their understandable urge
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在當今競爭激烈的社會中，自然
會有當「直升機父母」的衝動，
會有當「直升機父母」的衝動，
12:04
in today's highly competitive society
to helicopter-parent,
to helicopter-parent,
219
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4618
但要去抗拒它，
12:09
as a lot of anxiety is communicated
220
717323
2660
因為要是做父母的
包攬了子女的成敗，
包攬了子女的成敗，
12:12
when parents take on their kids'
successes and failures as their own.
successes and failures as their own.
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3527
便會把大量的焦慮傳到子女身上。
12:16
But ultimately, our research
raises important questions
raises important questions
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3544
最終，我們的研究提出了
關於我們的社會結構，
12:19
about how we are structuring society
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727947
1933
12:22
and whether our society's heavy emphasis
on competition, evaluation and testing
on competition, evaluation and testing
224
730525
3727
以及我們社會特別強調
競爭、評估和測試
競爭、評估和測試
是否有益於年輕人的重要問題。
12:26
is benefiting young people.
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734256
1904
12:28
It's become commonplace
for public figures to say
for public figures to say
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2985
公眾人物常說
12:31
that young people just need
a little bit more resilience
a little bit more resilience
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739193
3055
面對這些新的和前所未有的壓力，
12:34
in the face of these new
and unprecedented pressures.
and unprecedented pressures.
228
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3600
年輕人只需要更多韌性就行。
12:38
But I believe that is us
washing our hands of the core issue
washing our hands of the core issue
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4132
但我認為那是對於
核心問題撒手不管。
核心問題撒手不管。
12:43
because we have a shared responsibility
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2365
因為我們首先
有共同的責任要去創造一個
12:45
to create a society and a culture
in which young people need less perfection
in which young people need less perfection
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753625
4729
年輕人無須太完美的社會和文化。
12:51
in the first place.
232
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1266
12:53
Let's not kid ourselves.
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1350
我們不要自欺欺人。
12:54
Creating that kind of world
is an enormous challenge,
is an enormous challenge,
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2499
打造那樣的世界是個巨大的挑戰。
12:56
and for a generation of young people
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1762
這一代的年輕人
一天 24 小時生活在
12:58
that live their lives
in the 24/7 spotlight
in the 24/7 spotlight
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2031
指標、排名和社交媒體的聚光燈下，
13:00
of metrics, lead tables and social media,
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2193
13:03
perfectionism is inevitable,
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771008
2513
他們絕對逃脫不了完美主義——
13:05
so long as they lack any purpose in life
239
773545
1945
如果他們生活的目的，
13:07
greater than how they are appearing
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1714
就是在意外表，
13:09
or how they are performing
to other people.
to other people.
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2111
在意別人的看法。
13:11
What can they do about it?
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1539
他們能做些什麼呢？
13:12
Every time they are knocked down
from that mountaintop,
from that mountaintop,
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2603
每次他們從山頂被打下來，
13:15
they see no other option
but to try scaling that peak again.
but to try scaling that peak again.
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3484
除了再爬上去，
他們沒見到其他的選項。
他們沒見到其他的選項。
13:19
The ancient Greeks knew
245
787085
1730
古希臘人知道
13:20
that this endless struggle
up and down the same mountain
up and down the same mountain
246
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3464
在同一座山不斷地上下掙扎，
絕非幸福之路。
13:24
is not the road to happiness.
247
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1611
13:26
Their image of hell
was a man called Sisyphus,
was a man called Sisyphus,
248
794244
2524
這是一幅煉獄圖：
薛西弗斯注定要永遠
重複推那巨石上山，
重複推那巨石上山，
13:28
doomed for eternity to keep rolling
the same boulder up a hill,
the same boulder up a hill,
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3650
看著它滾下山，然後又
重新開始的無止盡循環。
重新開始的無止盡循環。
13:32
only to see it roll back down
and have to start again.
and have to start again.
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3331
13:36
So long as we teach young people
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1873
只要我們一直教年輕人
13:38
that there is nothing more real
or meaningful in their lives
or meaningful in their lives
252
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3397
他們生活中最真實最有意義的事
便是去追求這無望的完美，
13:41
than this hopeless quest for perfection,
253
809737
1935
13:43
then we are going to condemn
future generations
future generations
254
811696
2215
那麼我們將會讓未來的世代
13:45
to that same futility and despair.
255
813935
3241
都墮入同樣的徒勞與絕望。
13:49
And so we're left with a question.
256
817728
1722
所以我們得面對這個問題：
13:52
When are we going to appreciate
257
820437
1508
我們要何時才能認清
13:53
that there is something
fundamentally inhuman
fundamentally inhuman
258
821969
3587
無限的完美
根本是不合人性的？
13:57
about limitless perfection?
259
825580
1800
14:00
No one is flawless.
260
828064
1372
沒有人完美無瑕。
14:01
If we want to help our young people
escape the trap of perfectionism,
escape the trap of perfectionism,
261
829879
4960
如果我們想幫助年輕人
逃出完美主義的陷阱，
逃出完美主義的陷阱，
我們就要教他們：
在這個混亂的世界裡，
在這個混亂的世界裡，
14:06
then we will teach them
that in a chaotic world,
that in a chaotic world,
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3207
生活往往會打敗我們，但那沒關係。
14:10
life will often defeat us, but that's OK.
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2734
14:13
Failure is not weakness.
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1600
失敗並不是弱點。
14:16
If we want to help our young people
outgrow this self-defeating snare
outgrow this self-defeating snare
265
844317
3309
如果我們想幫助年輕人擺脫
這個追求不可能的完美的自我陷阱，
14:19
of impossible perfection,
266
847650
1574
14:21
then we will raise them in a society
that has outgrown that very same delusion.
that has outgrown that very same delusion.
267
849248
4480
我們就要讓他們在一個
沒有那種幻想的社會中成長。
沒有那種幻想的社會中成長。
最重要的是，
14:26
But most of all,
268
854717
1460
14:28
if we want our young people
to enjoy mental, emotional
to enjoy mental, emotional
269
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3900
如果要我們的年輕人享有精神上、
情感上和心理上的健康，
14:32
and psychological health,
270
860125
1238
14:33
then we will invite them
to celebrate the joys
to celebrate the joys
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那麼我們就要邀請他們一同慶祝
不完美的美與歡樂。
14:37
and the beauties of imperfection
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14:41
as a normal and natural part
of everyday living and loving.
of everyday living and loving.
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將它視為日常生活和愛中
正常又自然的一部分。
正常又自然的一部分。
14:48
Thank you very much.
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謝謝大家。
14:49
(Applause)
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（掌聲）
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Thomas Curran - Social and personality psychologistThomas Curran studies the personality characteristic of perfectionism, how it develops and its impact on mental health.
Why you should listen
Social and personality psychologist Thomas Curran is a member of the Centre for Motivation and Health Behavior Change in Bath, UK; the Motivation, Personality, and Well-being research group in York, UK; and is currently an assistant professor in the Department for Health at the University of Bath. His research rose to prominence following a 2017 publication of the first systems-level cohort study to show that perfectionism is on the rise in American, Canadian and British college students. Since then, he has written and spoken extensively on how we have created societies perfectly calibrated to promote perfectionism, which is contributing to almost epidemic levels of serious mental illness among young people. Curran is the author of over 30 published papers and has received numerous awards for his scholarship and research.
Thomas Curran | Speaker | TED.com