We the Future
Özlem Cekic: Why I have coffee with people who send me hate mail
Özlem Cekic: Derfor drikker jeg kaffe med mennesker, der sender mig hade-emails.
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Özlem Cekics indbakke har været fuld af hade-emails siden 2007, da hun blev valgt ind i det danske folketing som en af de første kvindelige muslimer. I begyndelsen slettede hun bare beskederne og afviste dem som emails fra fanatikere, indtil en ven foreslog noget uventet: at række ud mod afsenderne af hade-beskederne og invitere dem til at mødes til kaffe. Hundredvis af "dialogkaffe"-møder senere fortæller Cekic, hvordan samtaler ansigt til ansigt kan være et yderst kraftfuldt redskab til at afvæbne had. Hun udfordrer os alle til at engagere os i mennesker, vi er uenige med.
Özlem Cekic - Bridge builder, author
Born in Turkey with Kurdish roots, Özlem Sara Cekic was one of the first women with a Muslim immigrant background to be elected to the Danish Parliament, where she served from 2007 to 2015. Full bio
Born in Turkey with Kurdish roots, Özlem Sara Cekic was one of the first women with a Muslim immigrant background to be elected to the Danish Parliament, where she served from 2007 to 2015. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:12
My inbox is full of hate mails
and personal abuse
and personal abuse
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Min indbakke er fyldt med hade-emails
og personlige fornærmelser.
og personlige fornærmelser.
00:17
and has been for years.
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Det har den været i årevis.
00:20
In 2010, I started answering those mails
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I 2010 begyndte jeg
at besvare disse emails
at besvare disse emails
00:24
and suggesting to the writer
that we might meet for coffee and a chat.
that we might meet for coffee and a chat.
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og spurgte afsenderen, om vi
skulle mødes til kaffe og en snak.
skulle mødes til kaffe og en snak.
00:30
I have had hundreds of encounters.
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Jeg har haft hundredvis af møder.
00:33
They have taught me something important
that I want to share with you.
that I want to share with you.
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De har lært mig noget vigtigt,
som jeg vil dele med jer.
som jeg vil dele med jer.
00:39
I was born in Turkey from Kurdish parents
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Jeg er født i Tyrkiet af kurdiske forældre,
00:42
and we moved to Denmark
when I was a young child.
when I was a young child.
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og vi flyttede til Danmark,
da jeg var lille.
da jeg var lille.
00:46
In 2007, I ran for a seat
in the Danish parliament
in the Danish parliament
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I 2007 stillede jeg op
til valg til folketinget
til valg til folketinget
00:50
as one of the first women
with a minority background.
with a minority background.
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som en af de første kvinder
med anden etnisk baggrund.
med anden etnisk baggrund.
00:54
I was elected,
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Jeg blev valgt ind,
00:55
but I soon found out
that not everyone was happy about it
that not everyone was happy about it
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men ikke alle var glade for det,
00:59
as I had to quickly get used
to finding hate messages in my inbox.
to finding hate messages in my inbox.
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og jeg vænnede mig snart til
at finde hade-emails i min indbakke.
at finde hade-emails i min indbakke.
01:06
Those emails would begin
with something like this:
with something like this:
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Disse emails kunne begynde med:
01:10
"What's a raghead like you
doing in our parliament?"
doing in our parliament?"
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''Hvad laver en fejlfarve
som dig i vores folketing?''
som dig i vores folketing?''
01:15
I never answered.
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Jeg svarede aldrig.
01:16
I'd just delete the emails.
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Jeg slettede dem bare.
01:18
I just thought that the senders
and I had nothing in common.
and I had nothing in common.
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Jeg mente, at afsenderne
og jeg intet havde tilfælles.
og jeg intet havde tilfælles.
01:23
They didn't understand me,
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De forstod mig ikke,
01:25
and I didn't understand them.
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og jeg forstod ikke dem.
01:29
Then one day, one of my colleagues
in the parliament said
in the parliament said
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Men en dag sagde
en af mine kolleger i folketinget,
en af mine kolleger i folketinget,
01:33
that I should save the hate mails.
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at jeg skulle gemme hadebeskederne.
01:36
"When something happens to you,
it will give the police a lead."
it will give the police a lead."
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''Når der sker dig noget, har
politiet noget at gå efter.''
politiet noget at gå efter.''
01:40
(Laughter)
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(Latter)
01:41
I noticed that she said,
"When something happens" and not "if."
"When something happens" and not "if."
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Jeg bemærkede, at hun sagde
''Når noget sker'' og ikke ''hvis''.
''Når noget sker'' og ikke ''hvis''.
01:46
(Laughter)
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(Latter)
01:48
Sometimes hateful letters
were also sent to my home address.
were also sent to my home address.
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Nogle gange blev der også sendt
hadebreve til mit hjem.
hadebreve til mit hjem.
01:53
The more I became involved
in public debate,
in public debate,
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Jo mere jeg blev involveret
i den offentlige debat,
i den offentlige debat,
01:57
the more hate mail and threats I received.
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jo flere hadebreve og trusler modtog jeg.
02:01
After a while, I got a secret address
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Efter et stykke tid
fik jeg hemmelig adresse,
fik jeg hemmelig adresse,
02:03
and I had to take extra precautions
to protect my family.
to protect my family.
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og måtte sørge for beskyttelse
af min familie.
af min familie.
02:09
Then in 2010, a Nazi began to harass me.
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I 2010 begyndte en nazist
at chikanere mig.
at chikanere mig.
02:13
It was a man who had attacked
Muslim women on the street.
Muslim women on the street.
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Det var en mand, der havde
overfaldet muslimske kvinder på gaden.
overfaldet muslimske kvinder på gaden.
02:18
Over time, it became much worse.
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Med tiden blev det meget værre.
02:22
I was at the zoo with my children,
and the phone was ringing constantly.
and the phone was ringing constantly.
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Jeg var i Zoo med mine børn,
og min telefon ringede hele tiden.
og min telefon ringede hele tiden.
02:28
It was the Nazi.
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Det var nazisten.
02:30
I had the impression that he was close.
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Jeg fik indtryk af,
at han var i nærheden.
at han var i nærheden.
02:33
We headed home.
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Vi tog hjem.
02:35
When we got back,
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Da vi kom hjem,
02:37
my son asked, "Why does
he hate you so much, Mom,
he hate you so much, Mom,
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spurgte min søn,
''Hvorfor hader han dig så meget, mor,
''Hvorfor hader han dig så meget, mor,
02:43
when he doesn't even know you?"
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når han ikke engang kender dig?''.
02:47
"Some people are just stupid," I said.
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''Nogle mennesker er
dumme'' sagde jeg.
dumme'' sagde jeg.
02:50
And at the time, I actually thought
that was a pretty clever answer.
that was a pretty clever answer.
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På det tidspunkt syntes jeg faktisk,
at det var et ret klogt svar.
at det var et ret klogt svar.
02:55
And I suspect that that is the answer
most of us would give.
most of us would give.
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Og jeg regner med, at det er
det svar, de fleste af os ville give.
det svar, de fleste af os ville give.
02:59
The others --
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De andre ...
03:01
they are stupid, brainwashed, ignorant.
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er dumme, hjernevaskede, uvidende.
03:05
We are the good guys
and they are the bad guys, period.
and they are the bad guys, period.
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Vi er de gode,
og de er de onde, punktum.
og de er de onde, punktum.
03:11
Several weeks later
I was at a friend's house,
I was at a friend's house,
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Flere uger senere
besøgte jeg en ven,
besøgte jeg en ven,
03:13
and I was very upset and angry
about all the hate and racism I had met.
about all the hate and racism I had met.
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og jeg var meget oprevet over
alt det had og racisme, jeg havde oplevet.
alt det had og racisme, jeg havde oplevet.
03:20
It was he who suggested
that I should call them up
that I should call them up
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Så foreslog han, at jeg skulle
ringe til dem
ringe til dem
03:23
and visit them.
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og besøge dem.
03:26
"They will kill me," I said.
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''De slår mig ihjel,'' -
03:29
"They would never attack a member
of the Danish Parliament," he said.
of the Danish Parliament," he said.
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''De ville aldrig angribe et medlem
af det danske folketing,'' sagde han.
af det danske folketing,'' sagde han.
03:33
"And anyway, if they killed you,
you would become a martyr."
you would become a martyr."
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''Og hvis de dræbte dig,
ville du blive martyr.''
ville du blive martyr.''
03:37
(Laughter)
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(Latter)
03:39
"So it's pure win-win situation for you."
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''Så det er en klar
win-win situation for dig.''
win-win situation for dig.''
03:41
(Laughter)
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(Latter)
03:45
His advice was so unexpected,
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Hans råd var så uventet,
03:48
when I got home,
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så da jeg kom hjem
03:49
I turned on my computer
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tændte jeg computeren
03:51
and opened the folder
where I had saved all the hate mail.
where I had saved all the hate mail.
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og åbnede mappen, hvor jeg
havde gemt alle hadebeskederne
havde gemt alle hadebeskederne
03:55
There were literally hundreds of them.
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Der var i hundredevis.
03:58
Emails that started
with words like "terrorist,"
with words like "terrorist,"
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Emails der begyndte med
''terrorist,''
''terrorist,''
04:03
"raghead,"
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''fejlfarve,''
04:04
"rat," "whore."
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''rotte,'' ''luder.''
04:08
I decided to contact the one
who had sent me the most.
who had sent me the most.
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Jeg besluttede mig for at kontakte
den, der havde sendt mig flest.
den, der havde sendt mig flest.
04:12
His name was Ingolf.
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Hans navn var Ingolf.
04:17
I decided to contact him just once
so I could say at least I had tried.
so I could say at least I had tried.
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Jeg ville kontakte ham en enkelt gang,
så jeg kunne sige, at jeg havde forsøgt.
så jeg kunne sige, at jeg havde forsøgt.
04:23
To my surprise and shock,
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Det chokerede mig,
04:26
he answered the phone.
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at han tog telefonen.
04:28
I blurted out, "Hello, my name is Özlem.
You have sent me so many hate mails.
You have sent me so many hate mails.
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Jeg udbrød: ''Hej, mit navn er Özlem.
Du har sendt mig så mange hade-emails.
Du har sendt mig så mange hade-emails.
04:33
You don't know me, I don't know you.
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Du kender ikke mig, jeg kender ikke dig.
04:35
I was wondering if I could come around
and we can drink a coffee together
and we can drink a coffee together
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Måske kunne jeg komme forbi,
og vi kunne drikke en kop kaffe sammen
og vi kunne drikke en kop kaffe sammen
04:39
and talk about it?"
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og snakke om det?''
04:40
(Laughter)
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(Latter)
04:43
There was silence on the line.
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Der var stilhed på linjen.
04:47
And then he said,
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Så sagde han:
04:50
"I have to ask my wife."
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''Jeg må spørge min kone.''
04:52
(Laughter)
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(Latter)
04:53
What?
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Hvad?
04:54
The racist has a wife?
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Har racisten en kone?
04:56
(Laughter)
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(Latter)
04:58
A couple of days later,
we met at his house.
we met at his house.
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Et par dage senere
mødtes vi hjemme hos ham.
mødtes vi hjemme hos ham.
05:01
I will never forget
when he opened his front door
when he opened his front door
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Jeg vil aldrig glemme,
da han åbnede døren
da han åbnede døren
05:05
and reached out to shake my hand.
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og gav mig hånden.
05:08
I felt so disappointed.
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Jeg var så skuffet.
05:10
(Laughter)
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(Latter)
05:12
because he looked
nothing like I'd imagined.
nothing like I'd imagined.
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for han så ikke ud,
som jeg havde forestillet mig.
som jeg havde forestillet mig.
05:16
I had expected a horrible person --
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Jeg havde forventet en forfærdelig person,
05:19
dirty, messy house.
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et beskidt, uordentligt hus.
05:21
It was not.
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Det var det ikke.
05:23
His house smelled of coffee
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Hans hus duftede af kaffe,
05:25
which was served from a coffee set
identical to the one my parents used.
identical to the one my parents used.
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som blev serveret af
et kaffestel magen til mine forældres.
et kaffestel magen til mine forældres.
05:30
I ended up staying
for two and a half hours.
for two and a half hours.
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Jeg blev i to en halv time.
05:34
And we had so many things in common.
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Vi havde rigtig mange ting tilfælles.
05:39
Even our prejudices were alike.
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Selv vore fordomme lignede hinanden.
05:41
(Laughter)
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(Latter)
05:43
Ingolf told me
that when he waits for the bus
that when he waits for the bus
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Ingolf fortalte mig,
at når han venter på bussen,
at når han venter på bussen,
05:46
and the bus stops 10 meters away from him,
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og bussen stopper 10 meter fra ham,
05:50
it was because the driver was a "raghead."
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var det fordi
hans chauffør var en 'fejlfarve'.
hans chauffør var en 'fejlfarve'.
05:55
I recognized that feeling.
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Jeg genkendte den følelse.
05:57
When I was young
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Da jeg var ung
05:59
and I waited for the bus
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og ventede på bussen,
06:01
and it stopped 10 meters away from me,
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og den stoppede 10 meter fra mig,
06:03
I was sure that the driver was a racist.
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var jeg sikker på,
at chaufføren var racist.
at chaufføren var racist.
06:09
When I got home,
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Da jeg kom hjem,
06:11
I was very ambivalent about my experience.
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var jeg meget splittet
omkring min oplevelse.
omkring min oplevelse.
06:15
On the one hand, I really liked Ingolf.
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På den ene side
kunne jeg virkelig godt lide Ingolf.
kunne jeg virkelig godt lide Ingolf.
06:18
He was easy and pleasant to talk to,
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Han var nem og behagelig at snakke med.
06:23
but on the other hand,
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Men på den anden side
06:25
I couldn't stand the idea
of having so much in common
of having so much in common
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brød jeg mig ikke om at
have så meget tilfælles
have så meget tilfælles
06:29
with someone who had
such clearly racist views.
such clearly racist views.
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med en, der havde så
åbenlyst racistiske synspunkter.
åbenlyst racistiske synspunkter.
06:36
Gradually,
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Gradvist
06:37
and painfully,
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og smertefuldt,
06:39
I came to realize
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måtte jeg indse,
06:40
that I had been just as judgmental
of those who had sent me hate mails
of those who had sent me hate mails
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at jeg havde dømt dem,
der havde sendt mig hade-emails,
der havde sendt mig hade-emails,
06:46
as they had been of me.
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ligesom de havde dømt mig.
06:50
This was the beginning
of what I call #dialoguecoffee.
of what I call #dialoguecoffee.
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Dette var begyndelsen
på det, jeg kalder #dialogkaffe.
på det, jeg kalder #dialogkaffe.
06:56
Basically, I sit down for coffee
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Helt enkelt drikker jeg kaffe
06:59
with people who have said
the most terrible things to me
the most terrible things to me
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med mennesker, der har
sagt de frygteligste ting til mig
sagt de frygteligste ting til mig
07:02
to try to understand
why they hate people like me
why they hate people like me
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for at forsøge at forstå,
hvorfor de hader folk som mig,
hvorfor de hader folk som mig,
07:06
when they don't even know me.
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når de ikke engang kender mig.
07:10
I have been doing this
the last eight years.
the last eight years.
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Jeg har gjort det de seneste otte år.
07:14
The vast majority of people
I approach agree to meet me.
I approach agree to meet me.
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De fleste, jeg kontakter,
siger ja til at møde mig.
siger ja til at møde mig.
07:18
Most of them are men,
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De fleste er mænd,
07:19
but I have also met women.
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men jeg har også mødt kvinder.
07:22
I have made it a rule
to always meet them in their house
to always meet them in their house
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Jeg har gjort det til en regel
altid at møde dem i deres hjem
altid at møde dem i deres hjem
07:25
to convey from the outset
that I trust them.
that I trust them.
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for at fortælle fra starten,
at jeg føler tillid.
at jeg føler tillid.
07:28
I always bring food
because when we eat together,
because when we eat together,
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Jeg har altid mad med,
for når vi spiser sammen,
for når vi spiser sammen,
07:32
it is easier to find
what we have in common
what we have in common
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er det nemmere
at finde det, vi har til fælles,
at finde det, vi har til fælles,
07:35
and make peace together.
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og slutte fred.
07:38
Along the way, I have learned
some valuable lessons.
some valuable lessons.
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Med tiden har jeg
lært noget værdifuldt.
lært noget værdifuldt.
07:42
The people who sent
hate mails are workers,
hate mails are workers,
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De, der sender hade-emails,
er arbejdere,
er arbejdere,
07:46
husbands, wives,
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ægtemænd, koner,
07:48
parents like you and me.
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forældre ligesom dig og mig.
07:50
I'm not saying that
their behavior is acceptable,
their behavior is acceptable,
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Jeg siger ikke,
at deres opførsel er acceptabel,
at deres opførsel er acceptabel,
07:54
but I have learned to distance myself
from the hateful views
from the hateful views
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men jeg har lært at distancere mig
fra deres hadefulde synspunkter
fra deres hadefulde synspunkter
07:59
without distancing myself from the person
who's expressing those views.
who's expressing those views.
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uden at tage afstand fra personen,
som udtrykker disse synspunkter.
som udtrykker disse synspunkter.
08:07
And I have discovered
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Jeg har opdaget,
08:09
that the people I visit are just
as afraid of people they don't know
as afraid of people they don't know
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at dem, jeg besøger,
er ligeså bange for folk, de ikke kender,
er ligeså bange for folk, de ikke kender,
08:14
as I was afraid of them before
I started inviting myself for coffee.
I started inviting myself for coffee.
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som jeg var for dem, før jeg
begyndte at invitere mig selv på kaffe.
begyndte at invitere mig selv på kaffe.
08:21
During these meetings,
a specific theme keeps coming up.
a specific theme keeps coming up.
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Under disse møder
kommer der et særligt tema op.
kommer der et særligt tema op.
08:24
It shows up regardless whether
I'm talking to a humanist or a racist,
I'm talking to a humanist or a racist,
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Det dukker op, uanset om
jeg taler med en humanist eller en racist,
jeg taler med en humanist eller en racist,
08:29
a man, a woman,
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en mand, en kvinde,
08:30
a Muslim or an atheist.
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en muslim eller en ateist.
08:32
They all seem to think
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Det virker, som om de alle mener,
08:34
that other people
are to blame for the hate
are to blame for the hate
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at andre mennesker er skyld i hadet
08:38
and for the generalization of groups.
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og generaliseringen af grupper.
08:40
They all believe that other people
have to stop demonizing.
have to stop demonizing.
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De mener alle, at andre
skal stoppe dæmoniseringen.
skal stoppe dæmoniseringen.
08:45
They point at politicians,
the media, their neighbor
the media, their neighbor
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De peger på politikere,
medier, deres nabo
medier, deres nabo
08:47
or the bus driver
who stops 10 meters away.
who stops 10 meters away.
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eller buschaufføren,
som stopper 10 meter væk.
som stopper 10 meter væk.
08:51
But when I asked, "What about you?
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Men når jeg spørger: "Hvad med dig?
08:55
What can you do?",
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Hvad kan du gøre?"
08:57
the reply is usually,
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er svaret som regel:
08:59
"What can I do?
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"Hvad jeg kan gøre?
09:01
I have no influence.
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Jeg har ingen indflydelse.
09:03
I have no power."
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Jeg har ingen magt."
09:06
I know that feeling.
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Jeg kender den følelse.
09:08
For a large part of my life,
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En stor del af mit liv
09:10
I also thought that I didn't have
any power or influence --
any power or influence --
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følte jeg heller ikke, at jeg
havde magt eller indflydelse...
havde magt eller indflydelse...
09:16
even when I was a member
of the Danish parliament.
of the Danish parliament.
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ikke engang da jeg var
medlem af folketinget.
medlem af folketinget.
09:20
But today I know the reality is different.
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Men i dag ved jeg,
at virkeligheden er anderledes.
at virkeligheden er anderledes.
09:22
We all have power
and influence where we are,
and influence where we are,
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Vi har alle magt og
indflydelse der, hvor vi er,
indflydelse der, hvor vi er,
09:25
so we must never,
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så vi må aldrig,
09:28
never underestimate our own potential.
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aldrig undervurdere
vort eget potentiale.
vort eget potentiale.
09:35
The #dialoguecoffee meetings
have taught me
have taught me
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#dialogkaffe møderne
har lært mig,
har lært mig,
09:37
that people of all political convictions
can be caught demonizing
can be caught demonizing
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at folk af alle politiske overbevisninger
kan tages i at dæmonisere
kan tages i at dæmonisere
09:41
the others with different views.
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dem med anderledes synspunkter.
09:44
I know what I'm talking about.
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Jeg ved, hvad jeg taler om.
09:45
As a young child, I hated
different population groups.
different population groups.
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Da jeg var lille, hadede jeg
anderledes befolkningsgrupper.
anderledes befolkningsgrupper.
09:50
And at the time, my religious views
were very extreme.
were very extreme.
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Dengang var mit religiøse
synspunkt meget ekstremt.
synspunkt meget ekstremt.
09:54
But my friendship with Turks,
with Danes, with Jews and with racists
with Danes, with Jews and with racists
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Men mit venskab med tyrkere,
danskere, jøde og racister
danskere, jøde og racister
09:59
has vaccinated me
against my own prejudices.
against my own prejudices.
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har vaccineret mig
imod mine egne fordomme.
imod mine egne fordomme.
10:04
I grew up in a working-class family,
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Jeg voksede op i en arbejderfamilie.
10:06
and on my journey I have met many people
who have insisted on speaking to me.
who have insisted on speaking to me.
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Og jeg har mødt mange,
som har insisteret på at tale med mig.
som har insisteret på at tale med mig.
10:13
They have changed my views.
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De har ændret mine synspunkter.
10:16
They have formed me as a democratic
citizen and a bridge builder.
citizen and a bridge builder.
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De har formet mig som
demokrat, borger og brobygger.
demokrat, borger og brobygger.
10:22
If you want to prevent hate and violence,
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Hvis vi skal forhindre had og vold,
10:24
we have to talk to as many
people as possible
people as possible
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må vi tale med
så mange som muligt -
så mange som muligt -
10:27
for as long as possible
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så længe som muligt
10:30
while being as open as possible.
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og undervejs være så åben som muligt.
10:33
That can only be achieved through debate,
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Det kan man kun opnå
ved hjælp af debat
ved hjælp af debat
10:36
critical conversation
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og kritisk samtale
10:38
and insisting on dialogue
that doesn't demonize people.
that doesn't demonize people.
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og ved at insistere på
en dialog, der ikke dæmoniserer folk.
en dialog, der ikke dæmoniserer folk.
10:44
I'm going to ask you a question.
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Nu vil jeg stille jer et spørgsmål.
10:47
I invite you to think about it when
you get home and in the coming days,
you get home and in the coming days,
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Jeg inviterer jer til at tænke over det,
når I kommer hjem og de kommende dage,
når I kommer hjem og de kommende dage,
10:51
but you have to be honest with yourself.
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men I skal være ærlige over for jer selv.
10:54
It should be easy,
no one else will know it.
no one else will know it.
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Det skulle være nemt nok,
der er ingen, der lytter.
der er ingen, der lytter.
10:58
The question is this ...
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Spørgsmålet er:
11:02
who do you demonize?
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Hvem dæmoniserer du?
11:06
Do you think supporters of American
President Trump are deplorables?
President Trump are deplorables?
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4200
Synes du, at præsident Trumps
tilhængere er sørgelige?
tilhængere er sørgelige?
11:12
Or that those who voted for Turkish
President Erdoğan are crazy Islamists?
President Erdoğan are crazy Islamists?
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5440
Eller at de, der stemte på tyrkiske
præsiden Erdoğan er sindssyge islamister?
præsiden Erdoğan er sindssyge islamister?
11:20
Or that those who voted for Le Pen
in France are stupid fascists?
in France are stupid fascists?
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Eller at de, der stemte på Le Pen
i Frankrig er dumme fascister?
i Frankrig er dumme fascister?
11:27
Or perhaps you think that Americans
who voted for Bernie Sanders
who voted for Bernie Sanders
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Eller måske synes du, at amerikanere,
der stemte på Bernie Sanders
der stemte på Bernie Sanders
11:31
are immature hippies.
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er umodne hippier?
11:33
(Laughter)
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(Latter)
11:35
All those words have been used
to vilify those groups.
to vilify those groups.
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Alle de ord har været brugt
til at bagvaske de grupper.
til at bagvaske de grupper.
11:41
Maybe at this point,
do you think I am an idealist?
do you think I am an idealist?
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Synes du måske,
at jeg er en idealist?
at jeg er en idealist?
11:48
I want to give you a challenge.
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Jeg vil give dig en udfordring.
11:50
Before the end of this year,
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Inden et år
11:52
I challenge you to invite
someone who you demonize --
someone who you demonize --
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udfordrer jeg dig til at
invitere en, du dæmoniserer,
invitere en, du dæmoniserer,
11:57
someone who you disagree with
politically and/or culturally
politically and/or culturally
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en, du er uenig med
politisk og/eller kulturelt
politisk og/eller kulturelt
12:01
and don't think you have
anything in common with.
anything in common with.
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og ikke synes, du
har noget tilfælles med.
har noget tilfælles med.
12:06
I challenge you to invite someone
like this to #dialoguecoffee.
like this to #dialoguecoffee.
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Jeg udfordrer dig til at invitere
sådan en til #dialogkaffe.
sådan en til #dialogkaffe.
12:11
Remember Ingolf?
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Kan du huske Ingolf?
12:13
Basically, I'm asking you
to find an Ingolf in your life,
to find an Ingolf in your life,
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Helt enkelt beder jeg dig
om at finde en Ingolf i dit liv,
om at finde en Ingolf i dit liv,
12:17
contact him or her
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kontakte ham eller hende
12:19
and suggest that you can meet
for #dialoguecofee.
for #dialoguecofee.
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og foreslå, at I
mødes til #dialogkaffe.
mødes til #dialogkaffe.
12:23
When you start at #dialoguecoffee,
you have to remember this:
you have to remember this:
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Når du begynder
en #dialogkaffe, skal du huske:
en #dialogkaffe, skal du huske:
12:26
first, don't give up
if the person refuses at first.
if the person refuses at first.
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For det første, giv ikke op,
hvis personen ikke vil.
hvis personen ikke vil.
12:31
Sometimes it's taken me nearly one year
to arrange a #dialoguecoffee meeting.
to arrange a #dialoguecoffee meeting.
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Nogen gange har det taget mig næsten
et år at arrangere et #dialogkaffe-møde.
et år at arrangere et #dialogkaffe-møde.
12:36
Two:
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For det andet,
12:37
acknowledge the other person's courage.
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anerkend den anden persons mod.
12:40
It isn't just you who's brave.
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Det er ikke kun dig, som er modig.
12:42
The one who's inviting you
into their home is just as brave.
into their home is just as brave.
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Den, der inviterer dig hjem,
er lige så modig.
er lige så modig.
12:46
Three:
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For det tredje,
12:48
don't judge during the conversation.
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døm ikke undervejs i samtalen.
12:50
Make sure that most of the conversation
focuses on what you have in common.
focuses on what you have in common.
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Sørg for, at det meste af samtalen
fokuserer på, hvad I har til fælles.
fokuserer på, hvad I har til fælles.
12:55
As I said, bring food.
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Og som jeg sagde, medbring mad.
12:58
And finally, remember to finish
the conversation in a positive way
the conversation in a positive way
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Og til sidst, husk
at slutte samtalen positivt,
at slutte samtalen positivt,
13:02
because you are going to meet again.
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for I skal ses igen.
13:04
A bridge can't be built in one day.
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En bro kan ikke bygges på en dag.
13:09
We are living in a world where many people
hold definitive and often extreme opinions
hold definitive and often extreme opinions
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Vi lever i en verden, hvor mange
har definitive og ekstreme meninger
har definitive og ekstreme meninger
13:14
about the others
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om andre
13:15
without knowing much about them.
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uden at vide særlig meget om dem.
13:18
We notice of course the prejudices
on the other side than in our own bases.
on the other side than in our own bases.
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Vi ser nemmere fordommene
hos de andre end hos vore egne.
hos de andre end hos vore egne.
13:24
And we ban them from our lives.
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Og vi bandlyser dem.
13:27
We delete the hate mails.
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Vi sletter hade-emails.
13:29
We hang out only with people
who think like us
who think like us
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Vi er kun sammen med dem,
som tænker ligesom os
som tænker ligesom os
13:32
and talk about the others
in a category of disdain.
in a category of disdain.
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og taler om andre med foragt.
13:36
We unfriend people on Facebook,
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Vi fjerner venner på Facebook,
13:39
and when we meet people
who are discriminating
who are discriminating
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og når vi møder folk, der diskriminerer
eller nedgør folk eller grupper,
13:42
or dehumanizing people or groups,
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13:44
we don't insist on speaking with them
to challenge their opinions.
to challenge their opinions.
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insisterer vi ikke på at tale med dem
for at udfordre deres meninger.
for at udfordre deres meninger.
13:50
That's how healthy democratic
societies break down --
societies break down --
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Det er sådan sunde
demokratiske samfund nedbrydes,
demokratiske samfund nedbrydes,
13:55
when we don't check the personal
responsibility for the democracy.
responsibility for the democracy.
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når vi ikke vægter det personlige
ansvar for demokratiet.
ansvar for demokratiet.
14:00
We take the democracy for granted.
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Vi tager demokratiet for givet.
14:03
It is not.
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Det er det ikke.
14:06
Conversation is the most difficult
thing in a democracy
thing in a democracy
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Samtaler er det
sværeste i et demokrati
sværeste i et demokrati
14:10
and also the most important.
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og det allervigtigste.
14:16
So here's my challenge.
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Så her er min udfordring.
14:18
Find your Ingolf.
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Find din Ingolf.
14:20
(Laughter)
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(Latter)
14:21
Start a conversation.
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Begynd at tale sammen.
14:23
Trenches have been dug
between people, yes,
between people, yes,
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Der er blevet gravet skyttegrave, ja,
14:27
but we all have the ability to build
the bridges that cross the trenches.
the bridges that cross the trenches.
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men vi ejer alle evnen til at
bygge broer over skyttegravene.
bygge broer over skyttegravene.
14:35
And let me end by quoting my friend,
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Lad mig slutte med at citere min ven,
14:38
Sergeot Uzan,
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Sergeot Uzan,
14:40
who lost his son, Dan Uzan,
in a terror attack
in a terror attack
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som mistede sin søn, Dan Uzan,
under et terrorangreb
under et terrorangreb
14:44
on a Jewish synagogue in Copenhagen, 2015.
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på den jødiske synagoge
i København i 2015.
i København i 2015.
14:49
Sergio rejected any suggestion of revenge
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Sergeot afviste ethvert forslag om hævn
14:53
and instead said this ...
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og sagde:
14:58
"Evil can only be defeated
by kindness between people.
by kindness between people.
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"Ondskab kan kun
overvindes ved hjælp af venlighed.
overvindes ved hjælp af venlighed.
15:03
Kindness demands courage."
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Venlighed kræver mod."
15:07
Dear friends,
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Kære venner,
15:09
let's be courageous.
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lad os være modige.
15:11
Thank you.
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Tak.
15:12
(Applause)
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(Klapsalver)
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Özlem Cekic - Bridge builder, authorBorn in Turkey with Kurdish roots, Özlem Sara Cekic was one of the first women with a Muslim immigrant background to be elected to the Danish Parliament, where she served from 2007 to 2015.
Why you should listen
During her time as a member of Folketing, the Danish Parliament, Özlem Cekic's inbox was inundated with hate mail and threats. She first responded by deleting the emails, but then she started replying and inviting those who had sent her abusive messages to meet and engage in dialogue. She calls it #dialoguecoffee, as the meetings generally happen over coffee, and usually at the home of the person who wrote the message. She has met neo-Nazis, racists and religious extremists as she works to try to understand the origin of the hate, find a common language and develop a toolkit for building bridges.
Özlem Cekic | Speaker | TED.com