Suleika Jaouad: What almost dying taught me about living
Writer Suleika Jaouad is changing the conversation about what it means to thrive in the wake of illness and life's unexpected interruptions. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
in commencement speeches,
to enter the real world.
a war correspondent,
kind of conflict zone.
and my parents, point-blank,
of long-term survival.
what that prognosis meant.
and the life I'd imagined for myself
my apartment, my independence,
of chemo, a clinical trial
that I'd ever get better,
of other young cancer patients,
my rolling IV pole as a skateboard.
of becoming a war correspondent,
of my hospital bed,
I wrote for the New York Times,
(Applause)
I am cured of my cancer.
a traumatic experience like this,
how much of an inspiration you are.
the mythical hero's journey,
lived to tell the tale,
for what you're been through.
with my experience.
exactly who I was
with 90 minutes of yoga.
I'm grateful for onto a scroll of paper
and send sailing out my window.
how to fold an origami crane.
began once the cancer was gone.
of the survivor we see in movies
challenges of recovery.
I am incredibly grateful to be alive,
that this struggle is a privilege
and expectation of constant gratitude
where the work of healing ends.
I was discharged from the hospital,
had taken a toll on my relationship
into my apartment, it was quiet.
in this moment,
would understand everything,
of my apartment,
since my diagnosis
working tirelessly to achieve one goal:
no idea how to live.
soon stopped coming.
of the sick anymore.
further from being well.
a permanent physical toll on my body.
in the middle of the day?
on a regular basis?"
psychological imprints
for days, sometimes weeks.
of traumatic experiences, like an illness.
of the challenges of reentry,
I kept reminding myself
like my friend Melissa were not.
feeling so sad and lost,
about getting sick again.
to fantasize about
and recently single.
I felt like an impostor,
I'd felt at my sickest.
has a way of simplifying things,
to what really matters.
I vowed that if I survived,
an adventurous life,
with no job, no partner, no structure.
protocols or discharge instructions
full of internet messages
had read my column,
comments and emails.
the case, for writers.
with things like essential oils.
in their own different way,
that I was going through.
composed largely of emojis.
professor in Ohio named Howard,
debilitating health condition
he was a young man.
on death row in Texas
to start off each morning.
I described in one column
to a tiny fluorescent room.
are different," he wrote to me,
lurks in both of our shadows."
and months of my recovery,
became lifelines,
of so many different backgrounds,
that's ever happened to you
your remaining days,
some kind of change.
and to get back out into the world.
a real journey --
that everyone thought I should be on,
kind of journey.
but somewhat smelly friend
embarked on a 15,000-mile road trip
of those strangers who'd written to me.
the retired professor.
to open myself up to uncertainty,
of new love, new loss.
of predicting how long he'd live.
from getting married.
lessons with his wife.
their 50th anniversary.
in the material realm;
cocktails or conversation.
when everything else is stripped away."
Little GQ on death row.
to pass all that time
really, really good at Scrabble,
in solitary confinement,
make board games out of paper
through their meal slots --
of the human spirit
who'd sent me all those emojis.
curious person I've ever met.
to do next and she said,
that I've never tasted before
and so full of plans for the future,
and dangerous to have hope
I learned on that road trip
the sick and the well --
that would have killed our grandparents,
back and forth between these realms,
somewhere between the two.
that since coming home from my road trip,
I'd been pre-diagnosis,
and its limitations,
beautiful, perfect state of wellness
of constant dissatisfaction
will have our life interrupted,
of a diagnosis
or trauma that brings us to the floor.
in the in-between place,
and mind we currently have.
of a handmade game of Scrabble
kind of meaning in the love of family
lead a teenage girl terrified of bugs
to actually be well,
richest, most whole sense.
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Suleika Jaouad - Writer, teacher, activistWriter Suleika Jaouad is changing the conversation about what it means to thrive in the wake of illness and life's unexpected interruptions.
Why you should listen
When Suleika Jaouad finally walked out of the hospital -- after countless rounds of chemo, a lifesaving clinical trial and a bone marrow transplant -- she was, according to the doctors, "cured." But as she would soon learn, a cure is not where the work of healing ends; it's where it begins. She set out on a 100-day, 15,000-mile road trip across the country to meet some of the people who had written to her during her time in the hospital. Her extraordinary journey resulted in her debut memoir, Between Two Kingdoms.
Jaouad is an Emmy-winning journalist, author, teacher and activist. Her career aspirations as a foreign correspondent were cut short when, at age 22, she was diagnosed with leukemia. She began writing the acclaimed New York Times column and video series "Life, Interrupted" from the front lines of her hospital bed and has since become a fierce advocate for those living with illness and other forms of adversity.
Jaouad served on Barack Obama's Presidential Cancer Panel, and her advocacy work, public speaking and reporting have brought her everywhere from the United Nations and Capitol Hill to a maximum security prison and a two-room schoolhouse in rural Montana.
Suleika Jaouad | Speaker | TED.com