ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Dessa - Rapper, singer and writer
Dessa is an internationally touring rapper, singer and writer who built a career by defying genre conventions and audience expectations.

Why you should listen

As a writer, Dessa has contributed to the New York Times, National Geographic Traveler and literary journals across the United States. As a musician, she's recorded critically acclaimed studio albums, co-composed for a 100-voice choir, collaborated with full orchestras and contributed to The Hamilton Mixtape on the invitation of Lin-Manuel Miranda. 

On stage and on the page, Dessa's work is driven by an interest in finding unexpected connections -- between heartache and neuroscience, aerodynamics and grief, or simply between two people who live far away and in disparate circumstances. Her delivery is crafted to balance wit and tenderness, intellectual rigor and a poetic sensibility.  

Dessa started out in Minneapolis, Minnesota as a member of the Doomtree hip-hop crew, a tight-knit group known for their explosive live shows, innovative sound and fiercely independent business model. For years, the seven-member crew shared stages, hotel rooms and head colds building an international following one sweaty show at a time. Dessa's work within the collective and as a solo artist earned several entries on the Billboard Top 200 charts (Chime, Parts of Speech and All Hands). Alone or with Doomtree, she's performed at Lollapalooza, Glastonbury, SXSW, velvet-lined theaters in LA and New York, punk venues in Central Europe, black box rooms from Tijuana to Beijing and once while standing on a wooden chair in South Africa. According to the LA Times, Dessa "sounds like no one else" and was called "a national treasure" by NPR's All Songs Considered.

Since her teenage years, however, Dessa wanted to become a published writer. So while recording and touring as a musician, she continued to write poetry, essays and short stories. Under the Doomtree banner, she began printing short books, some barely larger than a matchbook. In 2013, Doomtree Press published Spiral Bound, a collection of poetry and prose. In 2015, Dessa partnered with Rain Taxi on a poetry chapbook titled A Pound of Steam. On the strength of that collection, a New York literary agent telephoned; within a few years, Dutton Books (Penguin Random House) published her first book-length collection of essays, My Own Devices: True Stories from the Road on Music, Science, and Senseless Love, named one of the best books of 2018 by both NPR and Amazon. She also became a frequent radio contributor: on behalf of Minnesota Public Radio, she's interviewed best-selling authors in front of live audiences (most recently talking with Michael Pollan about his exploration into psychedelic drugs). At WNYC's The Greene Space, she served as Artist in Residence, designing a series called HEARTBREAKERS that investigated research on love, sex and determinism with both scientists and musicians.  

In recent years, Dessa partnered with the Grammy-winning Minnesota Orchestra to stage six sold-out performances at Minneapolis's Orchestra Hall (all arranged by composer/musician Andy Thompson and conducted by Sarah Hicks). The Minnesota Orchestra and Dessa cut a live record together in March of 2019, Sound the Bells: Recorded Live at Orchestra Hall, slated for release in November of 2019.

More profile about the speaker
Dessa | Speaker | TED.com
TEDxWanChai

Dessa: Can we choose to fall out of love?

黛莎: 我們能選擇不再相戀嗎?

Filmed:
2,063,007 views

對心碎釋懷的最佳方法是什麼?饒舌歌手及作家黛莎在看了海倫 ‧ 費雪在 TED 演說熱戀中的大腦後,想出了一個不尋常的方法。在這場有趣的演說中,她說明她如何和神經科學家合作,試圖讓她的大腦脫離對前男友的愛戀——並分享她在過程中所學到的戀愛智慧。
- Rapper, singer and writer
Dessa is an internationally touring rapper, singer and writer who built a career by defying genre conventions and audience expectations. Full bio

Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.

00:12
Hello你好, my name名稱 is Dessa德薩,
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哈囉,我是黛莎,
00:14
and I'm a member會員 of a hip-hop嘻哈
collective集體 called Doomtree末日樹.
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我是嘻哈團體 Doomtree 的一員。
00:18
I'm the one in the tank坦克 top最佳.
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我是穿背心的那位。
00:20
(Laughter笑聲)
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(笑聲)
00:22
And I make my living活的 as a performing執行,
touring旅遊 rapper說唱歌手 and singer歌手.
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我是說唱歌手,
靠表演及巡迴演出為生。
00:27
When we perform演出 as a collective集體,
this is what our shows節目 look like.
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當我們全體一起演出時,
我們的表演是像這樣子的。
00:30
I'm the one in the boots靴子.
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我是穿靴子的那位。
00:32
There's a lot of jumping跳躍.
There's a lot of sweating出汗.
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有很多的跳躍,有很多的汗水。
00:35
It's loud. It's very high-energy高能量.
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我們的演出是很喧噪、很高耗能的。
00:37
Sometimes有時 there are
unintentional無意 body身體 checks檢查 onstage在舞台上.
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有時,在台上會有
非刻意的身體碰撞。
00:40
Sometimes有時 there are completely全然
intentional故意的 body身體 checks檢查 onstage在舞台上.
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有時,在台上會有
完全刻意的身體碰撞。
00:44
It's kind of a hybrid混合動力 between之間
an intramural壁間 hockey曲棍球 game遊戲 and a concert音樂會.
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它就像是校內曲棍球比賽
和音樂會的混合。
00:50
However然而, when I perform演出
my own擁有 music音樂 as a solo獨奏 artist藝術家,
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然而,當我獨自一人
表演自己的音樂時,
00:53
I tend趨向 to gravitate受引力作用 towards
more melancholy愁緒 sounds聲音.
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我會傾向較憂傷的音樂風格。
00:56
A few少數 years年份 ago, I gave my mom媽媽
the rough mixes混合 of a new album專輯,
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幾年前,我拿一張初步混音版的
新專輯給我媽聽,
01:00
and she said, "Baby寶寶, it's beautiful美麗,
but why is it always so sad傷心?"
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她說:「寶貝,它很美,
但為什麼總是那麼悲傷?」
01:05
(Laughter笑聲)
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(笑聲)
01:06
"You always make music音樂 to bleed流血 out to."
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「你的音樂總是讓人們的心淌血。」
01:09
And I thought, "Who are you hanging
out with that you know that phrase短語?"
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我心想:「你都和誰混在一起
才會學到這種說法啊?」
01:12
(Laughter笑聲)
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(笑聲)
01:14
But over the course課程 of my career事業,
I've written書面 so many許多 sad傷心 love songs歌曲
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但,在我職涯中,
我寫過好多悲傷的愛情歌曲,
01:18
that I got messages消息 like this from fans球迷:
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以至於有歌迷這樣跟我說:
01:19
"Release發布 new music音樂 or a book.
I need help with my breakup分手."
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「請推出新的音樂或書籍。
我剛分手需要協助。」
01:22
(Laughter笑聲)
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(笑聲)
01:26
And after performing執行 and recording記錄
and touring旅遊 those songs歌曲 for a long time,
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在長時間演出、錄製、
巡迴表演那些歌曲之後,
01:30
I found發現 myself in a position位置
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我發現我的處境是,
01:33
in which哪一個 my professional專業的 niche壁龕
was essentially實質上 romantic浪漫 devastation毀壞.
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我最擅長的就是破壞浪漫。
01:39
What I hadn't有沒有 been public上市 about, however然而,
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然而,我沒有公開說過,
01:41
was the fact事實 that most of these songs歌曲
had been written書面 about the same相同 guy.
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這些歌曲大部分是為了
同一個傢伙而寫的。
01:45
And for two years年份, we tried試著
to sort分類 ourselves我們自己 out,
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兩年的時間,我們試著
理清我們的狀況,
01:49
and then for five
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接著再五年的時間,
01:51
and on and off for 10.
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然後又藕斷絲連的十年。
01:53
And I was not only heartbroken腸斷,
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我不只是心碎,
01:56
but I was kind of embarrassed尷尬
that I couldn't不能 rebound籃板球
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我也覺得有點尷尬,因為我
無法從這個狀態中恢復,
02:00
from what other people seemed似乎
to recover恢復 from so regularly經常.
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明明其他人似乎都可以做到。
02:06
And even though雖然 I knew知道
it wasn't doing either of us any good,
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即使我知道那對我們
兩個人都沒好處,
02:09
I just couldn't不能 figure數字 out
how to put the love down.
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我就是沒辦法把愛放下來。
02:15
Then, drinking white白色 wine紅酒 one night,
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接著,在喝著白酒的夜晚,
02:17
I saw a TEDTED Talk by a woman女人
named命名 Dr博士. Helen海倫 Fisher費舍爾,
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我看了一場 TED 演說,
講者是海倫 ‧ 費雪博士,
02:20
and she said that in her work, she'd
been able能夠 to map地圖 the coordinates坐標 of love
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她說在她的研究中,
她可以標記出愛在人腦中的座標。
02:25
in the human人的 brain.
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02:26
And I thought, well,
if I could find my love in my brain,
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我心想,如果我能找到
我腦中的愛在哪裡,
02:30
maybe I could get it out.
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也許我就能把它弄出來。
所以我上了推特。
02:32
So I went to Twitter推特.
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02:34
"Anybody任何人 got access訪問 to an fMRI功能磁共振成像 lab實驗室,
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「誰能把我弄進功能性磁振造影
實驗室?在半夜之類的?
02:36
like at midnight午夜 or something?
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02:37
I'll trade貿易 for backstage後台
passes通行證 and whiskey威士忌酒."
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我可以用後台通行證
和威士忌來交換。」
02:40
(Laughter笑聲)
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(笑聲)
02:42
And that's Dr博士. Cheryl謝麗爾 Olman奧爾曼,
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那是雪蘿 ‧ 歐曼博士,
02:43
who works作品 at the University大學 of Minnesota's明尼蘇達州的
Center中央 for Magnetic磁性 Resonance諧振 Research研究.
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她在明尼蘇達大學的
磁振研究中心工作。
02:47
She took me up on it.
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她接受了我的提案。
02:49
I explained解釋 Dr博士. Fisher's費舍爾的 protocol協議,
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我解釋了費雪博士的實驗計畫,
02:52
and we decided決定 to recreate重建 it
with a sample樣品 size尺寸 of one, me.
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我們決定要重現它,
樣本大小:一人,我。
02:56
(Laughter笑聲)
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(笑聲)
02:57
So I got decked加蓋 out in a pair
of forest森林 green綠色 scrubs磨砂,
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我換上綠色的醫療服,
03:03
and I was laid鋪設 on a gurney格尼
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我躺在輪床上,
03:05
and wheeled輪式 into an fMRI功能磁共振成像 machine.
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被推入功能性磁振造影機。
03:07
If you're unfamiliar陌生 with that technology技術,
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如果你對這項技術不熟悉,基本上,
03:09
essentially實質上, an fMRI功能磁共振成像 machine
is a big, tubular管狀的 magnet磁鐵
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功能性磁振造影機
是一個很大的管狀磁鐵,
03:12
that tracks軌道 the progress進展
of deoxygenated去氧 iron in your blood血液.
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能追蹤你血液中缺氧鐵的移動。
03:17
So it's essentially實質上 figuring盤算 out
what parts部分 of your brain
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所以,基本上它就是
找出你大腦中的哪個部分,
03:19
are making製造 the biggest最大 metabolic新陳代謝 demand需求
at any given特定 moment時刻.
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在任何的特定時刻,
有著最大的新陳代謝需求。
03:22
And in that way, it can figure數字 out
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用那種方式,它就可以找出
何種結構和何種任務有關,
03:24
which哪一個 structures結構
are associated相關 with a task任務,
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比如彈手指這種任務,
總會讓腦部的同一個區域亮起來,
03:26
like tapping竊聽 your finger手指, for example,
will always light up the same相同 region地區,
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或者,在我的例子中,
03:30
or in my case案件,
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03:31
looking at pictures圖片 of your ex-boyfriend前男友
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任務就是看著前男友的照片,
03:34
and then looking at pictures圖片 of a dude花花公子
who just sort分類 of resembled相似 my ex-boyfriend前男友
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接著,再看一個像前男友的人的照片,
但我對這個人沒有強烈的感覺。
03:38
but for whom I had no strong強大 feelings情懷.
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他是對照組。
03:40
He was the control控制.
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03:41
(Laughter笑聲)
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(笑聲)
03:43
And when I left the machine,
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我離開機器之後,
03:45
we had these really
high-resolution高分辨率 images圖片 of my brain.
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我們得到了我大腦的高解析度影像。
03:50
We could cleave劈開 the two halves apart距離.
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我們能把它切開成兩部分。
03:53
We could inflate膨脹 the cortex皮質 to see
inside all of the wrinkles皺紋, essentially實質上,
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我們能擴大皮質部分,
看到皺摺的內部,
03:59
in a view視圖 that Dr博士. Cheryl謝麗爾 Olman奧爾曼
called the "brain skin皮膚 rug地毯."
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這種視角被雪蘿 ‧ 歐曼博士
稱為「大腦皮地毯」。
04:02
(Laughter笑聲)
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(笑聲)
04:04
And we could see how my brain had behaved
when I looked看著 at images圖片 of both men男人.
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我們可以看見,當我看著
兩個不同人的影像時,
我的大腦有什麼反應。
04:11
And this was important重要.
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這很重要。
04:12
We could track跟踪 all of the activity活動
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我們能追蹤當我看著對照組
04:15
when I looked看著 at the control控制
and when I looked看著 at my ex,
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及看著前男友時的所有腦部活動,
04:18
and it was in comparing比較 these data數據 sets
that we'd星期三 be able能夠 to find the love alone單獨,
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比較這些資料集,
讓我們可以單獨把愛找出來,
04:22
in the same相同 way that, if I were
to step on a scale規模 fully充分 dressed連衣裙的
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這個方法就類似,
如果我穿著衣服站上磅秤,
04:26
and then step on it again naked,
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接著再赤裸地站上去,
04:29
the difference區別 between之間 those numbers數字
would be the weight重量 of my clothing服裝.
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兩次測量的差值
就是我衣服的重量。
04:32
So when we did that data數據 comparison對照,
we subtracted扣除 one from the other,
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所以,我們比較資料之後,
我們把兩者相減,
04:36
we found發現 activity活動 in exactly究竟 the regions地區
that Dr博士. Fisher費舍爾 would have predicted預料到的.
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我們發現腦部的活動正落在
費雪博士預測的那個區域。
04:42
That's me.
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那是我。
那是我在戀愛時的大腦。
04:44
And that's my brain in love.
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04:47
There was activity活動 in that little
orange橙子 dot, the ventral腹的 tegmental被蓋 area,
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在那橘色小點上有發現活動,
那是腹側被蓋區,
04:50
that kind of loop循環 of red
is the anterior前面的 cingulate扣帶
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那個紅色的環形就是前扣帶回,
04:54
and that golden金色 set of horns牛角
is the caudates考達.
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那對金牛角就是尾狀核。
04:59
After she had had time to analyze分析
the data數據 with her team球隊
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在雪蘿有時間和她的團隊
以及兩位合作夥伴,
05:02
and a couple一對 of partners夥伴, Andrea安德里亞 and Phil菲爾,
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安卓亞和菲爾,一起分析資料後,
05:04
Cheryl謝麗爾 sent發送 me an image圖片, a single slide滑動.
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雪蘿寄了一張影像給我,
只有一張投影片。
05:08
It was my brain in cross交叉 section部分,
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圖中是我的大腦橫斷面,
05:11
with one bright dot of activity活動
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那一個亮點代表有活動,
05:13
that represented代表
my feelings情懷 for this dude花花公子.
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也就是我對這個傢伙的感覺。
05:18
And I'd known已知 I was in love,
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我知道我在戀愛中,
05:20
and that's the whole整個 reason原因
I was going to these outrageous蠻橫的 lengths長度.
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那就是我有這麼多離譜行徑的原因。
05:23
But having an image圖片 that proved證實 it
felt like such這樣 a vindication表白,
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但有影像來證實這一點,
感覺就像我被證明無辜,
05:28
like, "Yeah, it's all in my head,
but now I know exactly究竟 where."
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像是:「是啊,都是我的腦袋瓜
在作祟,但現在我知道它在哪裡了。」
05:31
(Laughter笑聲)
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(笑聲)
05:35
And I also felt like an assassin刺客
who had her mark標記.
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我也覺得自己像是有了目標的刺客。
05:39
That was what I had to annihilate殲滅.
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那就是我得要去摧毀的。
05:42
So I decided決定 to embark從事
on a course課程 of treatment治療
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所以我決定開始進行治療,
05:46
called "neurofeedback神經回饋."
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這方式叫做「神經回饋」。
05:49
I worked工作 with a woman女人 named命名
Penijean佩尼讓 Gracefire格雷斯火,
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和我合作的是一名叫做
潘妮珍 ‧ 葛雷斯佛爾的女子,
05:52
and she explained解釋 that what we'd星期三 be doing
was training訓練 my brain.
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她解釋說我們要做的是訓練我的大腦。
05:56
We're not lobotomizing機器人 anything.
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我們並沒有要切開什麼。
05:58
We're training訓練 it in the way
that we would train培養 a muscle肌肉,
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我們訓練大腦的方式
和訓練肌肉的方式一樣,
06:01
so that it would be flexible靈活 enough足夠
and resilient彈性 enough足夠
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讓大腦有足夠的彈性和恢復力,
06:04
to respond響應 appropriately適當
to my circumstances情況.
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可以對我的狀況做出適當的反應。
06:07
So when we're on the treadmill跑步機,
we would anticipate預料
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所以在跑步機上時,我們會預期
06:10
that our heart would beat擊敗 and pound,
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我們的心跳會很快很明顯,
06:13
and when we're asleep睡著,
we would ask that that muscle肌肉 slow.
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睡眠時,我們需要那肌肉慢下來。
06:17
Similarly同樣, when I'm in a long-term長期,
viable可行, loving愛心 romantic浪漫 relationship關係,
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同樣的,當我身處在一段長期、
可行、有愛的愛情關係中時,
06:21
the emotional情緒化 centers中心
of my brain should engage從事,
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我大腦的情緒中心應該要啟動,
06:24
and when I'm not in a long-term長期,
viable可行, emotional情緒化, loving愛心 relationship關係,
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當我不處在長期、可行、
有愛的愛情關係中時,
06:28
they should eventually終於 chill寒意 out.
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情緒中心最終應該要冷靜下來。
06:32
So she came來了 over with a set of electrodes電極
just smaller than a dime十分錢
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所以,她拿來了比一角硬幣
小一點點的電極,
06:37
that were sensitive敏感 enough足夠
to detect檢測 my brainwaves腦電波
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它們靈敏到可以穿透我的骨頭、
06:39
through通過 my bone and hair頭髮 and scalp頭皮.
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頭髮、頭皮來偵測我的腦波。
06:42
And when she rigged非法操縱的 me up,
I could see my brain working加工 in real真實 time.
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當她幫我裝配好之後,
我就能即時看見大腦的運作。
06:49
And in another另一個 view視圖 that she showed顯示 me,
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她還給我看了另一個視角,
06:51
I could see exactly究竟 which哪一個 parts部分
of my brain were hyperactive多動,
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我能看見我的大腦有哪些部分
超級活躍,用紅色表示;
06:55
here displayed顯示 in red;
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06:56
hypoactive低活性, here displayed顯示 in blue藍色;
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活動減退是用藍色表示;
06:58
and the healthy健康 threshold of behavior行為,
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而行為的健康門檻值,
07:01
the green綠色 zone, the Goldilocks金發 zone,
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是綠色區域,適居帶,
就是我想要達成的目標。
07:04
which哪一個 is where I wanted to go.
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07:05
And we can, in fact事實, isolate隔離
just those parts部分 of my brain
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事實上,我們可以把
我大腦的這些部分隔離出來,
07:08
that were associated相關
with the romantic浪漫 regulation
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也就是和浪漫調節相關的部分,
07:11
that we'd星期三 identified確定 in the Fisher費舍爾 study研究.
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在費雪的研究中找出來的部分。
07:14
So Penijean佩尼讓, several一些 times,
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所以,
潘妮珍
好幾次
07:19
hooked迷上 me up with all her electrodes電極,
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把我接上她的電極,
07:22
and she explained解釋 that I didn't
have to do or think anything.
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她解釋說,我不用
做什麼或想什麼。
07:25
I just essentially實質上
had to hold保持 pretty漂亮 still
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基本上,我只要保持不動,
07:28
and stay awake甦醒
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別睡著,
07:30
and watch.
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然後看就好了。
07:33
(Harp豎琴 and vibraphone顫音 sounds聲音 play)
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(播放豎琴和電顫琴的聲音)
07:37
So I did.
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我就照做了。
07:39
And every一切 time my brain operated操作
in that healthy健康 threshold,
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每當我的大腦在那健康的
門檻範圍之內運作時,
07:42
I got a little run of harp豎琴
or vibraphone顫音 music音樂.
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我就會聽到一小段
豎琴或電顫琴的音樂。
07:48
And I just watched看著 my brain rotate迴轉
at roughly大致 the speed速度 of a gyro陀螺儀 machine
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我就這樣看著我的大腦轉動,
轉速和我爸的平面
電視上的陀螺儀差不多。
07:52
on my dad's爸爸的 flat-screen平面 TV電視.
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07:55
And that was counterintuitive有悖常理.
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那是違背直覺的。
07:57
She said the learning學習 would be
essentially實質上 unconscious無意識.
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她說,基本上學習是無意識的。
但我接著就去思考
我沒有刻意用意識大腦
07:59
But then I thought about
the other things I had learned學到了
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08:02
without actively積極地 engaging
my conscious意識 mind心神.
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就學會的其他事物。
08:04
When you ride a bike自行車,
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當你騎腳踏車時,
08:06
I don't really know what, like,
my left calf小牛 muscle肌肉 is doing,
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我不會知道左小腿肌在做什麼,
08:10
or how my latissimus背 闊 dorsi knows知道
to engage從事 when I wobble搖晃 to the right.
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也不會知道當我向右晃動時
我的背闊肌會做什麼。
08:13
The body身體 just learns獲悉.
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身體就是會學習。
08:15
And similarly同樣, Pavlov's巴甫洛夫的 dogs小狗 probably大概
don't know a lot about, like,
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同樣的,巴甫洛夫的狗
(古典制約實驗)不會知道很多
08:19
protein蛋白 structures結構
or the waveform波形 of a ringing鈴聲 bell,
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蛋白質結構或者鈴聲的波形,
08:23
but they salivate垂涎三尺 nonetheless儘管如此,
because the body身體 paired配對 the stimuli刺激.
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但牠們就是會分泌唾液,因為
身體對那刺激物有對應的反應。
08:27
Finished成品 the sessions會議,
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完成了這部分之後,
08:29
went back to Dr博士. Cheryl謝麗爾
Olman's奧爾曼的 fMRI功能磁共振成像 machine,
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回到雪蘿博‧歐曼博士的
功能性磁振造影機中,
08:33
and we repeated重複 the protocol協議,
159
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我們再一次執行實驗計畫,
用同樣的影像——
08:34
the same相同 images圖片 --
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08:36
of the ex, of the control控制 and,
in the interest利益 of scientific科學 rigor嚴格,
161
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有前男友、有對照組,
另外,為了科學精確的緣故,
雪蘿和她的團隊當時並不知道
誰是誰,才不會影響到結果。
08:40
Cheryl謝麗爾 and her team球隊
didn't know who was who,
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08:43
so that they couldn't不能
influence影響 the results結果.
163
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08:47
And after she had time
to analyze分析 that second第二 set of data數據,
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在她找時間分析了第二組資料後,
08:51
she sent發送 me that image圖片.
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她傳給我這張影像。
08:53
She said,
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她說:
08:55
"Dude多德 A's dominance霸主地位 of your brain
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「A 男對你的大腦的主宰力
08:58
seems似乎 to essentially實質上 have been eradicated根除.
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似乎已經被根絕。
我想這是我們希望的結果,是嗎?」
09:00
I think this is the desired期望 result結果,"
comma逗號, yes, question mark標記.
169
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09:04
(Laughter笑聲)
170
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(笑聲)
09:07
And that was the exactly究竟
the desired期望 result結果.
171
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那的確是希望的結果。
09:10
And finally最後, I allowed允許 myself
a moment時刻 to introspect反思,
172
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終於,我找了個時間來反思,
09:13
like, how did I feel?
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比如,我感覺如何?
09:17
And in one way, it felt like
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某方面,感覺就像
09:20
it was the same相同 inventory庫存 of feelings情懷
that I'd had at the outset開始.
175
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3692
和我一開始時列出的感覺都一樣。
09:24
This isn't "Eternal永恆 Sunshine陽光
of the Spotless一塵不染 Mind心神."
176
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這並不是《王牌冤家》(電影)。
09:26
The dude花花公子 wasn't a stranger陌生人.
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這個傢伙不是陌生人。
09:28
But I'd had love and jealousy妒忌
and amity和睦 and attraction引力 and respect尊重
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6915
我先前有愛、嫉妒、
友善、吸引、尊重,
09:35
and all those complicated複雜 feelings情懷
that you amass after long-term長期 love.
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以及經過長時間戀愛
所累積出來的各種複雜感受。
09:40
But it felt like the benevolent仁慈 feelings情懷
had risen上升 to the surface表面,
180
568396
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但,感覺就像是
和善的感受浮上表面了,
09:46
and the feelings情懷 of fixation固定術
and the less-generous不太慷慨 feelings情懷
181
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而異常依戀和較不寬容的感覺
09:52
weren't quite相當 so present當下.
182
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沒有這麼顯著了。
09:54
And that sounds聲音 like
a small thing in some way,
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某種程度上,將感受重新排序
聽起來沒什麼大不了,
09:56
this resequencing測序 of feelings情懷,
184
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但,對我來說這感覺像是件大事。
09:58
but to me it felt like the biggest最大 thing.
185
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10:00
Like, if I told you,
186
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就像,如果我告訴你:
10:02
"I'm going to anesthetize麻醉 you,
187
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「我要將你麻醉,
10:04
and I'm also going to take out
your wisdom智慧 teeth,"
188
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和我要把你的智齒拔掉,」
10:07
it would really matter to you the sequence序列
in which哪一個 I did those two things.
189
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這兩件事的順序就真的很重要。
10:10
(Laughter笑聲)
190
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(笑聲)
10:14
And I also felt like
191
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我也覺得,
10:16
I'd had this really unusual異常
philosophical哲學上 privilege特權
192
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我擁有這種很不尋常的哲學特權,
10:20
to understand理解 love.
193
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可以去了解愛。
10:24
The lab實驗室 offered提供 to 3D-printd打印 my caudate尾 狀.
194
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實驗室說他們可以
立體列印出我的尾狀核。
10:29
I got to hold保持 love in my hand.
195
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我可以把我的愛握在手中。
10:31
(Laughter笑聲)
196
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(笑聲)
10:33
And then I bronzed古銅色 it,
197
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接著,我把它鍍銅,製成項鍊,
10:34
and I made製作 it into a necklace項鍊 and sold出售
it at the merch梅爾赫 table at my shows節目.
198
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在我表演場地的
商品販售桌上將它賣掉。
10:37
(Laughter笑聲)
199
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(笑聲)
10:40
(Applause掌聲)
200
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(掌聲)
10:47
And then, with the help of a couple一對
of friends朋友 back in Minneapolis明尼阿波利斯,
201
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接著,在明尼亞波里斯的
幾位朋友協助下,
10:51
one of them Becky貝基,
202
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其中一位是貝琪,
10:53
we made製作 an enormous巨大 disco迪斯科 ball of it --
203
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我們還做了它的迪斯可舞廳版本——
10:55
(Laughter笑聲)
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(笑聲)
10:57
that could descend降落
from the ceiling天花板 at my big shows節目.
205
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在我的大型演出中,它可以從天而降。
11:01
And I felt like I'd had the opportunity機會
to better understand理解 love,
206
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我覺得,我有機會能夠更了解愛,
11:05
even the compulsive強迫 parts部分.
207
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甚至是強迫性的部分。
11:09
It isn't a neat整齊, symmetrical對稱
Valentine's情人節 heart.
208
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它並不是一個工整對稱的情人愛心。
11:12
It's bodily身體, it's systemic系統的,
209
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它是身體的、它是系統性的、
11:15
it is a hideous可怕 pair of ram's公羊 horns牛角
buried隱藏 somewhere某處 deep within your skull頭骨,
210
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它是一對醜陋的公羊角,
深深埋在你的頭骨裡面,
11:20
and when that special特別 boy男孩 walks散步 by,
211
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當那位特殊的男孩經過時,
11:22
it lights燈火 up,
212
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它就會亮起來,
11:23
and if he likes喜歡 you back
and you make each other happy快樂,
213
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如果他也喜歡你,
你們就會讓彼此快樂,
11:26
then you fan風扇 the flames火焰.
214
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接著情緒被煽動。
11:28
And if he doesn't,
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如果他不喜歡你,
11:29
then you assemble集合 a team球隊
of neuroscientists神經學家
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你就會組成神經科學家團隊
用力消滅它們。
11:32
to snuff鼻煙 them out by force.
217
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11:33
(Laughter笑聲)
218
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(笑聲)
11:35
Thanks謝謝.
219
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謝謝。
11:36
(Applause掌聲)
220
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(掌聲)
Translated by Lilian Chiu
Reviewed by SF Huang

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ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Dessa - Rapper, singer and writer
Dessa is an internationally touring rapper, singer and writer who built a career by defying genre conventions and audience expectations.

Why you should listen

As a writer, Dessa has contributed to the New York Times, National Geographic Traveler and literary journals across the United States. As a musician, she's recorded critically acclaimed studio albums, co-composed for a 100-voice choir, collaborated with full orchestras and contributed to The Hamilton Mixtape on the invitation of Lin-Manuel Miranda. 

On stage and on the page, Dessa's work is driven by an interest in finding unexpected connections -- between heartache and neuroscience, aerodynamics and grief, or simply between two people who live far away and in disparate circumstances. Her delivery is crafted to balance wit and tenderness, intellectual rigor and a poetic sensibility.  

Dessa started out in Minneapolis, Minnesota as a member of the Doomtree hip-hop crew, a tight-knit group known for their explosive live shows, innovative sound and fiercely independent business model. For years, the seven-member crew shared stages, hotel rooms and head colds building an international following one sweaty show at a time. Dessa's work within the collective and as a solo artist earned several entries on the Billboard Top 200 charts (Chime, Parts of Speech and All Hands). Alone or with Doomtree, she's performed at Lollapalooza, Glastonbury, SXSW, velvet-lined theaters in LA and New York, punk venues in Central Europe, black box rooms from Tijuana to Beijing and once while standing on a wooden chair in South Africa. According to the LA Times, Dessa "sounds like no one else" and was called "a national treasure" by NPR's All Songs Considered.

Since her teenage years, however, Dessa wanted to become a published writer. So while recording and touring as a musician, she continued to write poetry, essays and short stories. Under the Doomtree banner, she began printing short books, some barely larger than a matchbook. In 2013, Doomtree Press published Spiral Bound, a collection of poetry and prose. In 2015, Dessa partnered with Rain Taxi on a poetry chapbook titled A Pound of Steam. On the strength of that collection, a New York literary agent telephoned; within a few years, Dutton Books (Penguin Random House) published her first book-length collection of essays, My Own Devices: True Stories from the Road on Music, Science, and Senseless Love, named one of the best books of 2018 by both NPR and Amazon. She also became a frequent radio contributor: on behalf of Minnesota Public Radio, she's interviewed best-selling authors in front of live audiences (most recently talking with Michael Pollan about his exploration into psychedelic drugs). At WNYC's The Greene Space, she served as Artist in Residence, designing a series called HEARTBREAKERS that investigated research on love, sex and determinism with both scientists and musicians.  

In recent years, Dessa partnered with the Grammy-winning Minnesota Orchestra to stage six sold-out performances at Minneapolis's Orchestra Hall (all arranged by composer/musician Andy Thompson and conducted by Sarah Hicks). The Minnesota Orchestra and Dessa cut a live record together in March of 2019, Sound the Bells: Recorded Live at Orchestra Hall, slated for release in November of 2019.

More profile about the speaker
Dessa | Speaker | TED.com

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