TED Talks Live
Adam Driver: My journey from Marine to actor
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Before he fought in the galactic battles of Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Adam Driver was a United States Marine with 1/1 Weapons Company. He tells the story of how and why he became a Marine, the complex transition from soldier to civilian -- and Arts in the Armed Forces, his nonprofit that brings theater to the military. Because, as he says: "Self-expression is just as valuable a tool as a rifle on your shoulder." Followed by a spirited performance of Marco Ramirez's "I am not Batman" by Jesse J. Perez and Matt Johnson. (Adult language)
Adam Driver - Actor and Marine Corps veteran
Adam Driver is working to bridge the cultural gap between the United States Armed Forces and the performing arts communities by bringing the best modern American theater to the military. Full bioJesse J. Perez - Actor
Jesse J. Perez works as a guest director and teacher at Juilliard, and he has done numerous readings for Arts in the Armed Forces. Full bioMatt Johnson - Drummer
Matt Johnson has played on some of the most critically acclaimed records in almost everyone's collections. Full bio
Adam Driver is working to bridge the cultural gap between the United States Armed Forces and the performing arts communities by bringing the best modern American theater to the military. Full bioJesse J. Perez - Actor
Jesse J. Perez works as a guest director and teacher at Juilliard, and he has done numerous readings for Arts in the Armed Forces. Full bioMatt Johnson - Drummer
Matt Johnson has played on some of the most critically acclaimed records in almost everyone's collections. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:13
I was a Marine with 1/1 Weapons Company,
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81's platoon,
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out in Camp Pendleton, California.
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Oorah!
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Audience: Oorah!
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(Laughter)
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I joined a few months after September 11,
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feeling like I think most people
in the country did at the time,
in the country did at the time,
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filled with a sense
of patriotism and retribution
of patriotism and retribution
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and the desire to do something --
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that, coupled with that fact
that I wasn't doing anything.
that I wasn't doing anything.
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I was 17, just graduated
from high school that past summer,
from high school that past summer,
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living in the back room
of my parents' house paying rent,
of my parents' house paying rent,
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in the small town I was raised in
in Northern Indiana,
in Northern Indiana,
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called Mishawaka.
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I can spell that later
for people who are interested --
for people who are interested --
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(Laughter)
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Mishawaka is many good things
but cultural hub of the world it is not,
but cultural hub of the world it is not,
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so my only exposure to theater and film
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was limited to the plays
I did in high school
I did in high school
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and Blockbuster Video,
may she rest in peace.
may she rest in peace.
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(Laughter)
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I was serious enough about acting
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that I auditioned for Juilliard
when I was a senior in high school,
when I was a senior in high school,
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didn't get in,
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determined college wasn't for me
and applied nowhere else,
and applied nowhere else,
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which was a genius move.
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I also did that Hail Mary
LA acting odyssey
LA acting odyssey
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that I always heard stories about,
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of actors moving to LA
with, like, seven dollars
with, like, seven dollars
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and finding work and successful careers.
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I got as far as Amarillo, Texas,
before my car broke down.
before my car broke down.
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I spent all my money repairing it,
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finally made it to Santa Monica --
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not even LA --
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stayed for 48 hours wandering
the beach, basically,
the beach, basically,
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got in my car, drove home,
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thus ending my acting career, so --
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(Laughter)
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Seventeen, Mishawaka ...
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parents' house, paying rent,
selling vacuums ...
selling vacuums ...
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telemarketing,
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cutting grass at the local
4-H fairgrounds.
4-H fairgrounds.
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This was my world
going into September, 2001.
going into September, 2001.
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So after the 11th,
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and feeling an overwhelming sense of duty,
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and just being pissed off
in general -- at myself,
in general -- at myself,
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my parents, the government;
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not having confidence,
not having a respectable job,
not having a respectable job,
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my shitty mini-fridge that I just
drove to California and back --
drove to California and back --
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I joined the Marine Corps and loved it.
I loved being a Marine.
I loved being a Marine.
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It's one of the things I'm most proud
of having done in my life.
of having done in my life.
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Firing weapons was cool,
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driving and detonating
expensive things was great.
expensive things was great.
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But I found I loved
the Marine Corps the most
the Marine Corps the most
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for the thing I was looking
for the least when I joined,
for the least when I joined,
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which was the people:
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these weird dudes --
a motley crew of characters
a motley crew of characters
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from a cross section
of the United States --
of the United States --
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that on the surface I had
nothing in common with.
nothing in common with.
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And over time,
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all the political and personal bravado
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that led me to the military dissolved,
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and for me, the Marine Corps
became synonymous with my friends.
became synonymous with my friends.
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And then, a few years into my service
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and months away from deploying to Iraq,
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I dislocated my sternum
in a mountain-biking accident,
in a mountain-biking accident,
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and had to be medically separated.
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Those never in the military
may find this hard to understand,
may find this hard to understand,
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but being told I wasn't getting deployed
to Iraq or Afghanistan
to Iraq or Afghanistan
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was very devastating for me.
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I have a very clear image of leaving
the base hospital on a stretcher
the base hospital on a stretcher
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and my entire platoon is waiting
outside to see if I was OK.
outside to see if I was OK.
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And then, suddenly,
I was a civilian again.
I was a civilian again.
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I knew I wanted to give
acting another shot,
acting another shot,
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because -- again, this is me --
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I thought all civilian problems
are small compared to the military.
are small compared to the military.
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I mean, what can you really
bitch about now, you know?
bitch about now, you know?
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"It's hot.
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Someone should turn
on the air conditioner."
on the air conditioner."
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"This coffee line is too long."
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I was a Marine,
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I knew how to survive.
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I'd go to New York and become an actor.
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If things didn't work out,
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I'd live in Central Park
and dumpster-dive behind Panera Bread.
and dumpster-dive behind Panera Bread.
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(Laughter)
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I re-auditioned for Juilliard
and this time I was lucky,
and this time I was lucky,
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I got in.
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But I was surprised
by how complex the transition was
by how complex the transition was
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from military to civilian.
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And I was relatively healthy; I can't
imagine going through that process
imagine going through that process
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on top of a mental or physical injury.
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But regardless, it was difficult.
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In part, because I was in acting school --
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I couldn't justify going
to voice and speech class,
to voice and speech class,
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throwing imaginary balls of energy
at the back of the room,
at the back of the room,
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doing acting exercises
where I gave birth to myself --
where I gave birth to myself --
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(Laughter)
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while my friends were serving
without me overseas.
without me overseas.
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But also, because I didn't
know how to apply the things
know how to apply the things
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I learned in the military
to a civilian context.
to a civilian context.
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I mean that both practically
and emotionally.
and emotionally.
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Practically, I had to get a job.
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And I was an Infantry Marine,
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where you're shooting machine guns
and firing mortars.
and firing mortars.
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There's not a lot of places you can
put those skills in the civilian world.
put those skills in the civilian world.
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(Laughter)
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Emotionally, I struggled to find meaning.
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In the military, everything has meaning.
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Everything you do
is either steeped in tradition
is either steeped in tradition
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or has a practical purpose.
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You can't smoke in the field
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because you don't want
to give away your position.
to give away your position.
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You don't touch your face --
you have to maintain
you have to maintain
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a personal level of health and hygiene.
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You face this way when "Colors" plays,
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out of respect for people
who went before you.
who went before you.
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Walk this way, talk this way
because of this.
because of this.
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Your uniform is maintained to the inch.
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How diligently you followed
those rules spoke volumes
those rules spoke volumes
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about the kind of Marine you were.
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Your rank said something
about your history
about your history
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and the respect you had earned.
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In the civilian world there's no rank.
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Here you're just another body,
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and I felt like I constantly had
to prove my worth all over again.
to prove my worth all over again.
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And the respect civilians were giving me
while I was in uniform
while I was in uniform
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didn't exist when I was out of it.
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There didn't seem to be a ...
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a sense of community,
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whereas in the military,
I felt this sense of community.
I felt this sense of community.
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How often in the civilian world
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are you put in a life-or-death situation
with your closest friends
with your closest friends
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and they constantly demonstrate
that they're not going to abandon you?
that they're not going to abandon you?
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And meanwhile, at acting school ...
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(Laughter)
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I was really, for the first time,
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discovering playwrights
and characters and plays
and characters and plays
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that had nothing to do with the military,
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but were somehow describing
my military experience
my military experience
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in a way that before
to me was indescribable.
to me was indescribable.
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And I felt myself becoming less aggressive
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as I was able to put words
to feelings for the first time
to feelings for the first time
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and realizing what
a valuable tool that was.
a valuable tool that was.
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And when I was reflecting
on my time in the military,
on my time in the military,
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I wasn't first thinking
on the stereotypical drills
on the stereotypical drills
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and discipline and pain of it;
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but rather, the small,
intimate human moments,
intimate human moments,
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moments of great feeling:
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friends going AWOL
because they missed their families,
because they missed their families,
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friends getting divorced,
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grieving together, celebrating together,
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all within the backdrop of the military.
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I saw my friends battling
these circumstances,
these circumstances,
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and I watched the anxiety
it produced in them and me,
it produced in them and me,
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not being able to express
our feelings about it.
our feelings about it.
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The military and theater communities
are actually very similar.
are actually very similar.
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You have a group of people
trying to accomplish a mission
trying to accomplish a mission
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greater than themselves;
it's not about you.
it's not about you.
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You have a role, you have to know
your role within that team.
your role within that team.
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Every team has a leader or director;
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sometimes they're smart,
sometimes they're not.
sometimes they're not.
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You're forced to be intimate
with complete strangers
with complete strangers
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in a short amount of time;
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the self-discipline, the self-maintenance.
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I thought, how great would it be
to create a space
to create a space
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that combined these two seemingly
dissimilar communities,
dissimilar communities,
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that brought entertainment
to a group of people
to a group of people
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that, considering their occupation,
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could handle something
a bit more thought-provoking
a bit more thought-provoking
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than the typical mandatory-fun events
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that I remember being
"volun-told" to go to in the military --
"volun-told" to go to in the military --
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(Laughter)
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all well-intended but slightly
offensive events,
offensive events,
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like "Win a Date with a San Diego
Chargers Cheerleader,"
Chargers Cheerleader,"
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where you answer a question
about pop culture,
about pop culture,
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and if you get it right you win a date,
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which was a chaperoned walk
around the parade deck
around the parade deck
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with this already married,
pregnant cheerleader --
pregnant cheerleader --
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(Laughter)
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Nothing against cheerleaders,
I love cheerleaders.
I love cheerleaders.
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The point is more, how great would it
be to have theater presented
be to have theater presented
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through characters that were accessible
without being condescending.
without being condescending.
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So we started this nonprofit
called Arts in the Armed Forces,
called Arts in the Armed Forces,
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where we tried to do that,
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tried to join these two seemingly
dissimilar communities.
dissimilar communities.
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We pick a play or select monologues
from contemporary American plays
from contemporary American plays
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that are diverse in age and race
like a military audience is,
like a military audience is,
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grab a group of incredible
theater-trained actors,
theater-trained actors,
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arm them with incredible material,
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keep production value
as minimal as possible --
as minimal as possible --
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no sets, no costumes,
no lights, just reading it --
no lights, just reading it --
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to throw all the emphasis on the language
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and to show that theater can
be created at any setting.
be created at any setting.
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It's a powerful thing,
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getting in a room with complete strangers
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and reminding ourselves of our humanity,
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and that self-expression
is just as valuable a tool
is just as valuable a tool
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as a rifle on your shoulder.
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And for an organization like the military,
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that prides itself on having
acronyms for acronyms,
acronyms for acronyms,
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you can get lost in the sauce
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when it comes to explaining
a collective experience.
a collective experience.
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And I can think of no better community
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to arm with a new means of self-expression
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than those protecting our country.
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We've gone all over
the United States and the world,
the United States and the world,
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from Walter Reed in Bethesda, Maryland,
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to Camp Pendleton,
to Camp Arifjan in Kuwait,
to Camp Arifjan in Kuwait,
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to USAG Bavaria,
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on- and off-Broadway theaters in New York.
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And for the performing artists we bring,
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it's a window into a culture
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they otherwise would not
have had exposure to.
have had exposure to.
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And for the military, it's the exact same.
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And in doing this for the past six years,
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I'm always reminded
that acting is many things.
that acting is many things.
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It's a craft, it's a political act,
it's a business, it's --
it's a business, it's --
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whatever adjective
is most applicable to you.
is most applicable to you.
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But it's also a service.
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I didn't get to finish mine,
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so whenever I get to be of service
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to this ultimate service industry,
the military, for me, again --
the military, for me, again --
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there's not many things better than that.
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Thank you.
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(Applause)
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We're going to be doing a piece
from Marco Ramirez,
from Marco Ramirez,
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called "I am not Batman."
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An incredible actor
and good friend of mine, Jesse Perez,
and good friend of mine, Jesse Perez,
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is going to be reading,
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and Matt Johnson,
who I just met a couple hours ago.
who I just met a couple hours ago.
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They're doing it together
for the first time,
for the first time,
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so we'll see how it goes.
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Jesse Perez and Matt Johnson.
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(Applause)
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Jesse Perez: It's the middle of the night
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09:14
and the sky is glowing
like mad, radioactive red.
like mad, radioactive red.
237
542660
2310
09:16
And if you squint,
you can maybe see the moon
you can maybe see the moon
238
544994
2122
09:19
through a thick layer of cigarette smoke
and airplane exhaust
and airplane exhaust
239
547140
2866
09:22
that covers the whole city,
240
550030
1291
09:23
like a mosquito net
that won't let the angels in.
that won't let the angels in.
241
551345
2298
09:25
(Drum beat)
242
553667
1040
09:26
And if you look up high enough,
243
554731
1486
09:28
you can see me standing
on the edge of an 87-story building.
on the edge of an 87-story building.
244
556241
3437
09:31
And up there, a place for gargoyles
and broken clock towers
and broken clock towers
245
559702
3427
09:35
that have stayed still and dead
for maybe like 100 years,
for maybe like 100 years,
246
563153
2976
09:38
up there is me.
247
566153
1511
09:39
(Beat)
248
567688
1030
09:40
And I'm frickin' Batman.
249
568742
1584
09:42
(Beat)
250
570350
1039
09:43
And I gots Batmobiles and batarangs
251
571413
2165
09:45
and frickin' bat caves, like, for real.
252
573602
2395
09:48
And all it takes is a broom closet
253
576021
1694
09:49
or a back room or a fire escape,
254
577739
1944
09:51
and Danny's hand-me-down jeans are gone.
255
579707
2991
09:54
And my navy blue polo shirt,
256
582722
1896
09:56
the one that looks kinda good on me
but has that hole on it near the butt
but has that hole on it near the butt
257
584642
3477
10:00
from when it got snagged
on the chain-link fence behind Arturo's
on the chain-link fence behind Arturo's
258
588143
3024
10:03
but it isn't even a big deal
because I tuck that part in
because I tuck that part in
259
591191
2692
10:05
and it's, like, all good.
260
593907
1219
10:07
That blue polo shirt -- it's gone, too!
261
595150
1917
10:09
And I get like, like ... transformational.
262
597091
3007
10:12
(Beat)
263
600122
1000
10:13
And nobody pulls out a belt
and whips Batman for talkin' back.
and whips Batman for talkin' back.
264
601434
3335
10:16
(Beat)
265
604793
1017
10:17
Or for not talkin' back.
266
605834
1420
10:19
And nobody calls Batman simple
267
607278
2324
10:21
or stupid
268
609626
1549
10:23
or skinny.
269
611199
1197
10:24
And nobody fires Batman's brother
from the Eastern Taxi Company
from the Eastern Taxi Company
270
612784
3219
10:28
'cause they was making cutbacks, neither.
271
616027
2032
10:30
'Cause they got nothing but respect.
272
618083
1889
10:31
And not like afraid-respect,
273
619996
2135
10:34
just, like, respect-respect.
274
622155
2379
10:36
(Laughter)
275
624558
1001
10:37
'Cause nobody's afraid of you.
276
625583
1507
10:39
'Cause Batman doesn't mean nobody no harm.
277
627114
2134
10:41
(Beat)
278
629272
1001
10:42
Ever.
(Double beat)
(Double beat)
279
630297
1554
10:43
'Cause all Batman really wants
to do is save people
to do is save people
280
631875
2437
10:46
and maybe pay abuela's bills one day
281
634336
1747
10:48
and die happy.
282
636107
1151
10:49
And maybe get, like, mad-famous for real.
283
637282
2196
10:51
(Laughter)
284
639502
1011
10:52
Oh -- and kill the Joker.
285
640537
1337
10:53
(Drum roll)
286
641898
1460
10:55
Tonight, like most nights, I'm all alone.
287
643382
2658
10:58
And I'm watchin' and I'm waitin'
288
646064
2193
11:00
like a eagle
289
648281
1182
11:01
or like a --
290
649487
1170
11:02
no, yeah, like a eagle.
291
650681
1709
11:04
(Laughter)
292
652414
1001
11:05
And my cape is flapping in the wind
cause it's frickin' long
cause it's frickin' long
293
653439
2818
11:08
and my pointy ears are on,
294
656281
1414
11:09
and that mask that covers like half
my face is on, too,
my face is on, too,
295
657719
2830
11:12
and I got, like, bulletproof stuff
all in my chest so no one can hurt me.
all in my chest so no one can hurt me.
296
660573
3476
11:16
And nobody -- nobody! --
297
664073
1714
11:17
is gonna come between Batman ...
298
665811
2039
11:19
and justice.
299
667874
1179
11:21
(Drums)
(Laughter)
(Laughter)
300
669077
1802
11:22
From where I am,
301
670903
1508
11:24
I can hear everything.
302
672435
1587
11:26
(Silence)
303
674046
1166
11:27
Somewhere in the city,
304
675236
1160
11:28
there's a old lady picking
Styrofoam leftovers up out of a trash can
Styrofoam leftovers up out of a trash can
305
676420
3216
11:31
and she's putting a piece
of sesame chicken someone spit out
of sesame chicken someone spit out
306
679660
2850
11:34
into her own mouth.
307
682534
1311
11:35
And somewhere there's a doctor
with a wack haircut in a black lab coat
with a wack haircut in a black lab coat
308
683869
3309
11:39
trying to find a cure for the diseases
309
687202
1858
11:41
that are gonna make us
all extinct for real one day.
all extinct for real one day.
310
689084
2958
11:44
And somewhere there's a man,
311
692066
1360
11:45
a man in a janitor's uniform,
312
693450
1397
11:46
stumbling home drunk and dizzy
313
694871
1933
11:48
after spending half his paycheck
on 40-ounce bottles of twist-off beer,
on 40-ounce bottles of twist-off beer,
314
696828
3752
11:52
and the other half on a four-hour visit
to some lady's house
to some lady's house
315
700604
2944
11:55
on a street where the lights
have all been shot out
have all been shot out
316
703572
2425
11:58
by people who'd rather do
what they do in this city in the dark.
what they do in this city in the dark.
317
706021
3033
12:01
And half a block away from janitor man,
318
709078
1926
12:03
there's a group of good-for-nothings
who don't know no better,
who don't know no better,
319
711028
2914
12:05
waiting for janitor man
with rusted bicycle chains
with rusted bicycle chains
320
713966
2524
12:08
and imitation Louisville Sluggers,
321
716514
1669
12:10
and if they don't find a cent on him,
322
718207
1782
12:12
which they won't,
323
720013
1151
12:13
they'll just pound at him till the muscles
in their arms start burning,
in their arms start burning,
324
721188
3358
12:16
till there's no more teeth to crack out.
325
724570
2073
12:18
But they don't count on me.
326
726667
1499
12:20
They don't count on no Dark Knight,
327
728664
2247
12:22
with a stomach full of grocery-store
brand macaroni and cheese
brand macaroni and cheese
328
730935
2994
12:25
and cut-up Vienna sausages.
329
733953
1589
12:27
(Laughter)
330
735566
1001
12:28
'Cause they'd rather believe
I don't exist.
I don't exist.
331
736591
2556
12:31
And from 87 stories up, I can hear
one of the good-for-nothings say,
one of the good-for-nothings say,
332
739893
3613
12:35
"Gimme the cash!" -- real fast like that,
333
743530
2301
12:37
just, "Gimme me the fuckin' cash!"
334
745855
1743
12:39
And I see janitor man mumble something
in drunk language and turn pale,
in drunk language and turn pale,
335
747622
3553
12:43
and from 87 stories up,
336
751199
1177
12:44
I can hear his stomach trying
to hurl its way out his Dickies.
to hurl its way out his Dickies.
337
752400
3108
12:47
So I swoop down, like, mad-fast
338
755532
1881
12:49
and I'm like darkness, I'm like, "Swoosh!"
339
757437
3015
12:52
And I throw a batarang
at the one naked lightbulb.
at the one naked lightbulb.
340
760476
2455
12:54
(Cymbal)
341
762955
1039
12:56
And they're all like, "Whoa, muthafucker!
342
764018
2128
12:58
Who just turned out the lights?"
343
766170
1591
12:59
(Laughter)
344
767785
1001
13:00
"What's that over there?"
"What?"
"What?"
345
768810
1669
13:02
"Gimme me what you got, old man!"
346
770503
1593
13:04
"Did anybody hear that?"
347
772120
1166
13:05
"Hear what? There ain't nothing.
No, really -- there ain't no bat!"
No, really -- there ain't no bat!"
348
773310
3840
13:09
But then ...
349
777174
1227
13:10
one out of the three good-for-nothings
gets it to the head -- pow!
gets it to the head -- pow!
350
778425
3479
13:13
And number two swings blindly
into the dark cape before him,
into the dark cape before him,
351
781928
2857
13:16
but before his fist hits anything,
352
784809
1809
13:18
I grab a trash can lid and --
353
786642
1904
13:20
right in the gut!
354
788570
1187
13:21
And number one comes
back with the jump kick,
back with the jump kick,
355
789781
2115
13:23
but I know judo karate, too,
so I'm like --
so I'm like --
356
791920
2631
13:26
(Drums)
357
794575
3781
13:30
Twice!
358
798380
1151
13:31
(Drums)
359
799555
1001
13:32
(Laughter)
360
800580
1225
13:33
(Drums)
361
801829
1452
13:35
But before I can do any more damage,
362
803305
1760
13:37
suddenly we all hear a "click-click."
363
805089
2199
13:40
And suddenly everything gets quiet.
364
808217
2236
13:43
And the one good-for-nothing left standing
365
811049
2016
13:45
grips a handgun and aims it straight up,
366
813089
1937
13:47
like he's holding Jesus hostage,
367
815050
1581
13:48
like he's threatening maybe
to blow a hole in the moon.
to blow a hole in the moon.
368
816655
2885
13:51
And the good-for-nothing
who got it to the head,
who got it to the head,
369
819564
2272
13:53
who tried to jump-kick me,
370
821860
1268
13:55
and the other good-for-nothing
who got it in the gut,
who got it in the gut,
371
823152
2493
13:57
is both scrambling back away
from the dark figure before 'em.
from the dark figure before 'em.
372
825669
2881
14:00
And the drunk man, the janitor man,
373
828574
1683
14:02
is huddled in a corner,
praying to Saint Anthony
praying to Saint Anthony
374
830281
2263
14:04
'cause that's the only one
he could remember.
he could remember.
375
832568
2116
14:06
(Double beat)
376
834708
1001
14:07
And there's me:
377
835733
1152
14:09
eyes glowing white,
378
837310
1370
14:10
cape blowing softly in the wind.
379
838704
2007
14:12
(Beat)
380
840735
1001
14:13
Bulletproof chest heaving,
381
841760
1497
14:15
my heart beating right through it
in a Morse code for:
in a Morse code for:
382
843281
2540
14:17
"Fuck with me
383
845845
1151
14:19
just once
384
847020
1151
14:20
come on
385
848195
1151
14:21
just try."
386
849370
1150
14:22
And the one good-for-nothing
left standing,
left standing,
387
850830
2080
14:24
the one with the handgun --
388
852934
1315
14:26
yeah, he laughs.
389
854273
1151
14:27
And he lowers his arm.
390
855448
1182
14:28
And he points it at me
391
856654
1310
14:29
and gives the moon a break.
392
857988
1451
14:31
And he aims it right
between my pointy ears,
between my pointy ears,
393
859463
2173
14:33
like goal posts and he's special teams.
394
861660
2949
14:37
And janitor man is still
calling Saint Anthony,
calling Saint Anthony,
395
865444
2669
14:40
but he ain't pickin' up.
396
868137
1356
14:42
And for a second,
397
870277
1678
14:43
it seems like ...
398
871979
1254
14:47
maybe I'm gonna lose.
399
875040
1725
14:50
Nah!
400
878899
1158
14:52
(Drums)
401
880081
1016
14:53
Shoot! Shoot! Fwa-ka-ka!
402
881121
1185
14:54
"Don't kill me, man!"
403
882330
1151
14:55
Snap! Wrist crack! Neck! Slash!
404
883505
1958
14:57
Skin meets acid:
"Ahhhhhhh!"
"Ahhhhhhh!"
405
885487
3983
15:01
And he's on the floor
406
889494
1238
15:02
and I'm standing over him
407
890756
1198
15:03
and I got the gun in my hands now
408
891978
1909
15:05
and I hate guns, I hate holding 'em
'cause I'm Batman.
'cause I'm Batman.
409
893911
2664
15:08
And, asterisk:
410
896599
1178
15:09
Batman don't like guns 'cause his parents
got iced by guns a long time ago.
got iced by guns a long time ago.
411
897801
3558
15:13
But for just a second,
412
901383
1215
15:14
my eyes glow white,
413
902622
1318
15:15
and I hold this thing
414
903964
1159
15:17
for I could speak to the good-for-nothing
415
905147
1983
15:19
in a language he maybe understands.
416
907154
1746
15:20
Click-click!
417
908924
1547
15:22
(Beat)
418
910495
1013
15:23
And the good-for-nothings
become good-for-disappearing
become good-for-disappearing
419
911532
2565
15:26
into whatever toxic waste, chemical
sludge shithole they crawled out of.
sludge shithole they crawled out of.
420
914121
3695
15:30
And it's just me and janitor man.
421
918784
1976
15:33
And I pick him up,
422
921555
1470
15:35
and I wipe sweat and cheap perfume
off his forehead.
off his forehead.
423
923049
3133
15:38
And he begs me not to hurt him
424
926206
1436
15:39
and I grab him tight
by his janitor-man shirt collar,
by his janitor-man shirt collar,
425
927666
2530
15:42
and I pull him to my face
426
930220
1287
15:43
and he's taller than me
but the cape helps,
but the cape helps,
427
931531
2080
15:45
so he listens when I look him
straight in the eyes.
straight in the eyes.
428
933635
2393
15:48
And I say two words to him:
429
936052
1721
15:50
"Go home."
430
938467
1608
15:53
And he does,
431
941282
1246
15:54
checking behind his shoulder
every 10 feet.
every 10 feet.
432
942552
2468
15:57
And I swoosh from building
to building on his way there
to building on his way there
433
945044
2589
15:59
'cause I know where he lives.
434
947657
1404
16:01
And I watch his hands tremble
as he pulls out his key chain
as he pulls out his key chain
435
949085
2804
16:03
and opens the door to his building.
436
951913
1709
16:05
And I'm back in bed
437
953646
1271
16:06
before he even walks in
through the front door.
through the front door.
438
954941
2272
16:09
And I hear him turn on the faucet
439
957548
1619
16:11
and pour himself a glass
of warm tap water.
of warm tap water.
440
959191
2256
16:13
And he puts the glass back in the sink.
441
961796
1896
16:16
And I hear his footsteps.
442
964399
1401
16:18
And they get slower
as they get to my room.
as they get to my room.
443
966630
2055
16:21
And he creaks my door open,
like, mad-slow.
like, mad-slow.
444
969758
3125
16:25
And he takes a step in,
445
973953
1828
16:27
which he never does.
446
975805
1356
16:29
(Beat)
447
977677
1000
16:31
And he's staring off into nowhere,
448
979167
1630
16:32
his face, the color
of sidewalks in summer.
of sidewalks in summer.
449
980821
2665
16:35
And I act like I'm just waking up
450
983510
1581
16:37
and I say, "Ah, what's up, Pop?"
451
985115
2409
16:40
And janitor man says nothing to me.
452
988452
2271
16:43
But I see in the dark,
453
991753
1161
16:44
I see his arms go limp
454
992938
1373
16:46
and his head turns back, like, towards me.
455
994335
2114
16:48
And he lifts it for I can see his face,
456
996473
2376
16:50
for I could see his eyes.
457
998873
1866
16:52
And his cheeks is drippin',
but not with sweat.
but not with sweat.
458
1000763
2372
16:55
And he just stands there breathing,
459
1003704
1781
16:57
like he remembers my eyes glowing white,
460
1005509
2432
16:59
like he remembers my bulletproof chest,
461
1007965
2690
17:03
like he remembers he's my pop.
462
1011513
1943
17:09
And for a long time I don't say nothin'.
463
1017575
2956
17:14
And he turns around, hand on the doorknob.
464
1022583
2026
17:16
And he ain't looking my way,
465
1024633
1428
17:18
but I hear him mumble two words to me:
466
1026085
2542
17:22
"I'm sorry."
467
1030253
1414
17:26
And I lean over, and I open
my window just a crack.
my window just a crack.
468
1034317
3279
17:30
If you look up high enough,
469
1038697
1685
17:33
you could see me.
470
1041036
1576
17:35
And from where I am --
471
1043519
1417
17:37
(Cymbals)
472
1045641
1271
17:39
I could hear everything.
473
1047692
1750
17:44
(Applause)
474
1052076
8424
17:52
Thank you.
475
1060544
1217
17:53
(Applause)
476
1061801
7339
ABOUT THE SPEAKERS
Adam Driver - Actor and Marine Corps veteranAdam Driver is working to bridge the cultural gap between the United States Armed Forces and the performing arts communities by bringing the best modern American theater to the military.
Why you should listen
Before he was an actor, Adam Driver was a Marine with the 1/1 Weapons Company at Camp Pendleton, California. After the Marines, he attended Juilliard and went on to star in films like Star Wars: Episode VII, While We're Young, Midnight Special and on HBO's "Girls." His performance in "Girls" has garnered him three Emmy nominations for Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series, and he won the Volpi Cup Award for Best Actor for Hungry Hearts, which premiered at the 2014 Venice International Film Festival.
Driver co-founded Arts in the Armed Forces (AITAF), a nonprofit that that honors, educates, inspires and entertains active duty and veteran members of the United States Armed Forces and their families by engaging them in the power and social service of the performing arts. The organization enlists artists of the highest quality and chooses thought-provoking content with an eye to what might speak to this particular audience.
Adam Driver | Speaker | TED.com
Jesse J. Perez - Actor
Jesse J. Perez works as a guest director and teacher at Juilliard, and he has done numerous readings for Arts in the Armed Forces.
Why you should listen
Jesse J. Perez has starred in numerous off-Broadway performances including "Informed Consent," "Up Against the Wind and Triple Happiness." He has also worked at The Chekhov Project: Lake Lucille as a choreographer and done numerous readings for Arts in the Armed Forces.
Jesse J. Perez | Speaker | TED.com
Matt Johnson - Drummer
Matt Johnson has played on some of the most critically acclaimed records in almost everyone's collections.
Why you should listen
From recording the seminal cult-creating album Grace with Jeff Buckley, to touring with the beloved St. Vincent, Matt Johnson has worked with a wide spectrum of artists over the past two decades including Rufus Wainwright, Martha Wainwright, Australia’s brother-sister duo Angus and Julia Stone, Elysian Fields, Beth Orton and Duncan Sheik.
More profile about the speakerMatt Johnson | Speaker | TED.com