TEDGlobal 2009
Becky Blanton: The year I was homeless
Becky Blanton: Godina kada sam bila beskućnik
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Becky Blanton odlučila je godinu dana živjeti u svome kombiju i putovati zemljom, ali kada je nastupila depresija i njezin honorarni posao završio, njezin se „izlet“ pretvorio u beskućništvo. U ovome intimnom govoru, ona opisuje svoje iskustvo o tome kako je bila jedan od američkih zaposlenih beskućnika.
Becky Blanton - Writer
Becky Blanton is a writer, photographer and former journalist who found herself homeless, but bounced back to tell her story and inspire others. Full bio
Becky Blanton is a writer, photographer and former journalist who found herself homeless, but bounced back to tell her story and inspire others. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:15
I'm a writer and a journalist,
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Ja sam spisateljica i novinarka,
00:18
and I'm also an insanely curious person,
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a uz to sam i ludo znatiželjna osoba.
00:21
so in 22 years as a journalist,
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U 22 godine rada kao novinarka
00:23
I've learned how to do a lot of new things.
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naučila sam mnogo novih stvari.
00:25
And three years ago, one of the things I learned how to do
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A prije tri godine jedna od stvari koje sam naučila je
00:28
was to become invisible.
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kako postati nevidljiv.
00:31
I became one of the working homeless.
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Postala sam jedna od zaposlenih beskućnika.
00:34
I quit my job as a newspaper editor
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Dala sam otkaz na mjestu urednika novina
00:36
after my father died in February of that same year,
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nakon što je moj otac umro u veljači te iste godine
00:40
and decided to travel.
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i odlučila putovati.
00:43
His death hit me pretty hard.
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Njegova me je smrt jako pogodila.
00:45
And there were a lot of things that I wanted to feel and deal with while I was doing that.
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Bilo je mnogo stvari koje sam htjela osjetiti i suočiti se s njima dok sam to radila.
00:49
I've camped my whole life. And I decided
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Cijeli sam život išla na kampiranja i odlučila sam
00:51
that living in a van for a year to do this
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da bi živjeti u kombiju godinu dana bilo
00:53
would be like one long camping trip.
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kao jedan veliki izlet.
00:55
So I packed my cat, my Rottweiler
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I tako sam ja spakirala svoju mačku, rotvajlera
00:58
and my camping gear into a 1975 Chevy van,
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i kampersku opremu u Chevrolet-ov kombi iz 1975.
01:02
and drove off into the sunset,
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i odvezla se u suton,
01:04
having fully failed to realize three critical things.
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ne pomišljajući na tri kritične stvari.
01:08
One: that society equates
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Prvo: da društvo poistovjećuje
01:10
living in a permanent structure, even a shack,
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vrijednost pojedinca sa životom u stalnoj nastambi,
01:14
with having value as a person.
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pa bila ona i koliba.
01:16
Two: I failed to realize how quickly
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Drugo: Nisam shvatila koliko brzo
01:19
the negative perceptions of other people
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negativna opažanja drugih
01:21
can impact our reality, if we let it.
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mogu utjecati na našu stvarnost, ako to dopustimo.
01:24
Three: I failed to realize
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Treće: Nisam shvatila
01:26
that homelessness is an attitude,
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da je beskućništvo stav,
01:28
not a lifestyle.
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a ne način života.
01:31
At first, living in the van was great.
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Isprva je život u kombiju bio super.
01:33
I showered in campgrounds. I ate out regularly.
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Tuširala sam se po kampiralištima, redovito sam jela u restoranima
01:36
And I had time to relax and to grieve.
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i imala sam vremena i opustiti se i tugovati.
01:40
But then the anger and the depression about my father's death set in.
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Ali tada su nastupili bijes i depresija zbog očeve smrti.
01:44
My freelance job ended. And I had to get a full-time job
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Moj je honorarni posao istekao i morala sam pronaći posao sa punim radnim vremenom
01:47
to pay the bills.
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kako bih platila račune.
01:49
What had been a really mild spring
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Ugodno proljeće pretvorilo se
01:51
turned into a miserably hot summer.
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u strahovito vruće ljeto.
01:53
And it became impossible to park anywhere --
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Postalo je nemoguće parkirati bilo gdje --
01:55
(Laughs)
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(smijeh)
01:56
-- without being very obvious
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- da ne bude očito
01:58
that I had a cat and a dog with me, and it was really hot.
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da imam mačku i psa sa sobom, a bilo je zbilja vruće.
02:01
The cat came and went through an open window in the van.
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Mačka je skalala unutra-van kroz prozor kombija,
02:04
The doggy went into doggy day care.
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pas je išao na čuvanje,
02:06
And I sweated.
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a ja sam se znojila.
02:08
Whenever I could, I used
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Kad god sam mogla, koristila sam
02:10
employee showers in office buildings and truck stops.
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tuševe za zaposlenike u uredima i na stajalištima za kamione.
02:14
Or I washed up in public rest rooms.
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Ili sam se prala u javnim WC-ima.
02:18
Nighttime temperatures in the van rarely dropped below 80 degrees Fahrenheit,
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Noćne temerature u kombiju rijetko su padale ispod 26 stupnjeva Celzijevih.
02:21
making it difficult or impossible to sleep.
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Spavanje je bilo teško, pa i nemoguće.
02:24
Food rotted in the heat.
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Hrana je trunula od topline,
02:27
Ice in my ice chest melted within hours,
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led se topio u škrinji u samo nekoliko sati.
02:30
and it was pretty miserable.
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To je bilo poprilično jadno.
02:38
I couldn't afford to find an apartment,
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Nisam si mogla priuštiti stan,
02:40
or couldn't afford an apartment that would allow me
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odnosno nisam si mogla priuštiti stan u kojem
02:42
to have the Rottweiler and the cat.
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bih mogla držati rotvajlera i mačku,
02:44
And I refused to give them up,
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a nisam ih se htjela odreći.
02:46
so I stayed in the van.
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I tako sam ostala u kombiju.
02:52
And when the heat made me too sick
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Kada me toplina učinila previše bolesnom
02:54
to walk the 50 feet to the public restroom
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da bih hodala 15 metara do javnog WC-a,
02:57
outside my van at night,
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izvan kombija, po noći,
02:59
I used a bucket and a trash bag as a toilet.
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nuždu sam obavljala u kantu i vreću za smeće.
03:02
When winter weather set in, the temperatures dropped
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Kada je nastupila zima, temperature su pale
03:05
below freezing. And they stayed there.
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ispod nule i ondje su se i zadržale.
03:07
And I faced a whole new set of challenges.
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Suočila sam se sa čitavim nizom novih izazova.
03:12
I parked a different place every night
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Parkirala sam svake noći na drugome mjestu
03:15
so I would avoid being noticed and hassled by the police.
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kako me policija ne bi primjetila i uznemiravala.
03:18
I didn't always succeed.
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Nisam uvijek uspjevala u tome.
03:20
But I felt out of control of my life.
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Osjećala sam da gubim kontrolu nad životom.
03:27
And I don't know when or how it happened,
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Ne znam kada i kako se to dogodilo,
03:31
but the speed at which I went
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ali brzina kojom sam ja
03:33
from being a talented writer and journalist
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od talentirane spisateljice i novinarke
03:36
to being a homeless woman, living in a van,
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postala beskućnica koja živi u kombiju,
03:39
took my breath away.
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oduzela mi je dah.
03:41
I hadn't changed. My I.Q. hadn't dropped.
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Nisam se promjenila. Moj I.Q. je ostao isti,
03:44
My talent, my integrity, my values,
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moj talent, moj integritet, moje vrijednosti,
03:50
everything about me remained the same.
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sve u vezi mene ostalo je isto.
03:53
But I had changed somehow.
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No nekako sam se ipak promijenila.
03:55
I spiraled deeper and deeper into a depression.
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Padala sam sve dublje i dublje u depresiju.
03:58
And eventually someone referred me to a homeless health clinic.
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I na posljetku netko me uputio u dom zdravlja za beskućnike.
04:01
And I went. I hadn't bathed in three days.
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Otišla sam. Nisam se bila tuširala tri dana.
04:04
I was as smelly and as depressed as anyone in line.
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Bila sam jednako smrdljiva i jednako potištena kao svi u redu,
04:08
I just wasn't drunk or high.
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jedino što ja nisam bila pijana ili nadrogirana.
04:11
And when several of the homeless men realized that,
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Kada je nekoliko beskućnika to shvatilo,
04:14
including a former university professor,
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uključujući bivšeg fakultetskog profesora,
04:16
they said, "You aren't homeless. Why are you really here?"
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rekli su: „Ti nisi beskućnica! Zašto si ovdje?“
04:20
Other homeless people didn't see me as homeless,
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Drugi me beskućnici nisu vidjeli kao beskućnicu,
04:22
but I did.
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ali ja jesam.
04:25
Then the professor listened to my story and he said,
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Onda je profesor poslušao moju priču i rekao:
04:29
"You have a job. You have hope.
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„Vi imate posao, vi imate nadu,
04:32
The real homeless don't have hope."
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pravi beskućnici nemaju nadu“.
04:36
A reaction to the medication the clinic gave me for my depression
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Reakcija na lijekove koje su mi ondje prepisali protiv depresije
04:39
left me suicidal. And I remember thinking,
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učinila me suicidalnom. Sjećam se da sam razmišljala:
04:41
"If I killed myself, no one would notice."
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“Ako se sada ubijem, nitko neće primijetiti.“
04:52
A friend told me, shortly after that,
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Nedugo nakon toga
04:57
that she had heard that Tim Russert,
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prijateljica mi je rekla kako je čula da je Tim Russert,
04:59
a nationally renowned journalist,
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nacionalno poznati novinar
05:01
had been talking about me on national T.V.
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pričao o meni na nacionalnoj televiziji.
05:03
An essay I'd written about my father,
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Esej koji sam napisala o svome ocu,
05:05
the year before he died, was in Tim's new book.
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godinu dana prije njegove smrti, nalazio se u Timovoj novoj knjizi.
05:09
And he was doing the talk show circuit. And he was talking about my writing.
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Tim je vodio emisiju u kojoj je pričao o mom pisanju.
05:12
And when I realized that Tim Russert, former moderator of "Meet the Press,"
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Kada sam shvatila da je Tim Russert, bivši urednik „Meet the Press-a“
05:16
was talking about my writing,
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govorio o meni
05:18
while I was living in a van in a Wal-Mart parking lot,
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dok sam ja živjela u kombiju na parkingu trgovačkog centra,
05:20
I started laughing.
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počela sam se smijati.
05:22
You should too.
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Trebali biste se i vi.
05:24
(Laughter)
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(Smijeh)
05:25
I started laughing
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Počela sam se smijati
05:27
because it got to the point where,
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jer sam došla do pitanja:
05:29
was I a writer, or was I a homeless woman?
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jesam li ja spisateljica ili beskućnica?
05:32
So I went in the bookstore. And I found Tim's book.
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I tako sam otišla u knjižaru, pronašla Timovu knjigu
05:35
And I stood there. And I reread my essay.
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i stajala ondje. Ponovno sam pročitala svoj esej
05:38
And I cried.
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i zaplakala sam
05:40
Because I was a writer.
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jer sam bila spisateljica.
05:43
I was a writer.
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Bila sam spisateljica.
05:45
Shortly after that I moved back to Tennessee.
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Nedugo nakon toga preselila sam se natrag u Tennessee.
05:48
I alternated between living in a van and couch surfing with friends.
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Naizmjence sam živjela u kombiju i spavala na kauču kod prijatelja.
05:51
And I started writing again.
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Počela sam opet pisati.
05:54
By the summer of the following year I was a working journalist.
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Do ljeta sljedeće godine bila sam zaposlena novinarka,
05:57
I was winning awards. I was living in my own apartment.
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dobivala sam nagrade, živjela sam u svom vlastitom stanu,
06:00
I was no longer homeless.
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nisam više bila beskućnica
06:02
And I was no longer invisible.
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i nisam više bila nevidljiva.
06:05
Thousands of people work full and part-time jobs,
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Tisuće ljudi rade poslove s punim i polovičnim radnim vremenom
06:08
and live in their cars.
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i žive u kombijima i automobilima.
06:10
But society continues to stigmatize and criminalize
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Društvo nastavlja žigosati i kriminalizirati
06:13
living in your vehicle or on the streets.
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život u vozilu ili na ulici.
06:16
So the homeless, the working homeless, primarily remain invisible.
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Zato beskućnici, zaposleni beskućnici zapravo ostaju nevidljivi.
06:20
But if you ever meet one,
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Ukoliko ikada upoznate kojeg,
06:22
engage them, encourage them, and offer them hope.
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angažirajte ih, ohrabrite, i ponudite im nadu.
06:26
The human spirit can overcome anything if it has hope.
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Ljudski duh može prebroditi bilo što, ako ima nade.
06:31
And I'm not here to be the poster girl for the homeless.
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Ja nisam ovdje kao predstavnica beskućnika,
06:33
I'm not here to encourage you to give money to the next panhandler you meet.
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ja nisam ovdje da vas ohrabrim da date novac prvome prosjaku na kojega naiđete,
06:36
But I am here to tell you that, based on my experience,
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ali sam ovdje da vam kažem da, temeljeno na mome iskustvu,
06:39
people are not where they live,
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ljudi nisu ljudi po tome gdje žive,
06:42
where they sleep,
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spavaju,
06:44
or what their life situation is at any given time.
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ili po tome u kakvome je stanju njihov život u bilo kojem vremenu.
06:49
Three years ago I was living in a van
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Prije tri godine živjela sam u kombiju
06:52
in a Wal-Mart parking lot,
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na parkiralištu trgovačkog centra,
06:54
and today I'm speaking at TED.
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a danas govorim na TED-u.
06:57
Hope always, always finds a way. Thank you.
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Nada uvijek, uvijek pronađe svoj put. Hvala Vam!
07:02
(Applause)
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(Pljesak)
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Becky Blanton - WriterBecky Blanton is a writer, photographer and former journalist who found herself homeless, but bounced back to tell her story and inspire others.
Why you should listen
Primarily, Becky Blanton is a writer. She was a journalist for more than 22 years, working as a reporter, photojournalist and editor. Today, she is best known for her independent writing. Tim Russert selected her essay "The Monster," to be included in his last book, Wisdom of Our Fathers. On the heels of this success, Becky won a competition held by Dan Pink to come up with an additional lesson for his bestselling book The Adventures of Johnny Bunko. The prize was admission to TEDGlobal 2009, where she gave a talk on her personal journey through homelessness.
Blanton is now working on her first book, to be titled Staying Hungry, the Official Guide for Never Settling for What Life Puts on Your Plate, as well as a second about how her dog saved her life while she was homeless. The proceeds from the second book will be donated to The Humane Society. Blanton also continues to blog and post photos from her adventures at beckyblanton.com
Becky Blanton | Speaker | TED.com