Alyssa Monks: How loss helped one artist find beauty in imperfection
알리사 몽크스(Alyssa Monks): 상실감을 통해 불완전함의 미학을 깨달은 어떤 예술가
Alyssa Monks transfers the intimacy and vulnerability of human experience onto a painted surface. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
about something personal
이야기를 할까해요.
사건에 대해서요.
may be helpful to somebody.
도움이 되기를 바랍니다.
I grew up the youngest of eight.
저는 8남매중 막내로 태어났어요.
언니 한 명이 있습니다.
데려다 주셨어요.
데려다주곤 했습니다.
from when I was eight to 16,
제가 8살부터 16살까지요.
in New York City.
뉴욕의 수업에도 갔습니다.
I learned a few survival skills.
몇가지 생존방식을 익혔어요.
see you do anything stupid.
바보짓을 못보게 하라.
and stay in line.
평범하게 지내는 걸 배웠습니다.
to be an artist.
되고싶어 한다는 걸 깨달았습니다.
to support my painting.
식당직원을 하는 것이었죠.
and I got an MFA,
순수미술석사(MFA)를 땄습니다.
my brother asked me,
제 오빠는 이렇게 물었습니다.
mean next to the paintings?"
무슨 뜻이야?"
that the paintings were sold
있게 됐다는 뜻이었죠.
had four electrical outlets,
4개 있었습니다.
and a toaster at the same time,
동시에 사용할 수 없었어요.
제가 집세를 낼 수 있는걸요.
from back around that time.
as realistic as possible.
isolated and in total control.
완벽하게 제 통제하에 있는 곳입니다.
of painting people in water.
주제로 그림을 그려나갔습니다.
the perfect enclosed environment.
완벽하게 격리된 환경이죠.
that kept me busy for a decade.
십여 년간 바쁘게 활동했습니다.
with the bathwater to make it cloudy
밀가루를 타서 탁하게 만들고
I couldn't wait to paint it.
않고는 참을 수 없었습니다.
kind of impulsive curiosity,
호기심에 이끌렸습니다.
in my head and hair
부은 적도 있습니다.
좋은 평판을 얻어나갔습니다.
with more than four outlets.
더 좋은 곳으로 이사도 갔죠.
and inspiring each other.
서로의 영감이 되었습니다.
who made this painting
그는 이런 그림을 그렸습니다.
해변가에서 춤추는 그림이죠.
그는 이렇게 대답했습니다.
into adulthood, you're no longer a child,
지금 넌 더이상 어린이가 아니야"
by the responsibilities of life."
짓눌리지는 않은 것 같구나"
and it was in her brain.
저는 그대로 주저 앉아버렸어요.
and I looked at her,
봤을 때 전 깨달았죠.
how to help her.
having him in charge,
의사로 붙일 수 있었죠.
taking care of her.
everything I could to help,
뭐든지 하고 싶었습니다.
I'm going to need you later."
라고 말했습니다.
이미 알고 있었습니다.
and the internet didn't know:
잘 모른다는 걸 알았습니다.
받아들이려는지 몰랐죠.
있어주기로 했습니다.
and whatever situation came up,
어떤 상황이 오더라도
then now I was surrendering,
지금은 백기를 든 거죠.
the uncontrollable
애쓰는 걸 포기했죠.
into bed with her and sleep with her.
기어들어가서 같이 자고
his car coming up the driveway.
둘다 들뜨기 시작했습니다.
마시는 걸 좋아했습니다.
for breakfast.
아침으로 먹곤했죠.
and bring their kids,
휠체어를 타게 됐습니다.
we could find to drink her coffee.
컵으로 커피를 마셨습니다.
보살펴드려야 할지 몰라서
to help me with the showers.
샤워하는 걸 도왔습니다.
곳임을 알았습니다.
시간이라 부르곤 했습니다.
2012년에 숨을 거둡니다.
after her diagnosis.
3주가 지난 날이죠.
supportive and attentive way.
귀를 기울여주었습니다.
사라진 것 같았어요.
all together in this unknown,
이 미지의 느낌을 느꼈습니다.
of my time alone in a studio working,
작업하면서 보내느라
된다는 걸 몰랐었습니다.
for me to go back to my studio.
스튜디오로 돌아가야만 했어요.
and I drove back to Brooklyn,
브루클린으로 돌아갔아요.
so that's what I did.
그것만이 제 할일 이었습니다.
that was unraveling in me.
표출하는 것 같습니다.
rendered safe place
안전하게 만든 장소에요.
I didn't want to paint anymore.
싶어하지 않는 걸까 두려웠습니다.
and I wasn't a landscape painter,
그동안 풍경화는 안그렸지만
much of any kind of painter at all,
있던 것도 아니었죠.
딱히 기대감도 없습니다.
벌레들로 떡칠이 됐지만요.
It didn't matter. It didn't matter.
안썼습니다. 상관없었죠.
back to my studio,
that were fascinating me,
모습은 정말 매력적입니다.
the paint like I used to.
통제할 수가 없었습니다.
and suggesting,
암시할 수 있을 뿐
없는 느낌이었죠.
chaotic, turbulent surface
혼돈스럽고 격동적인 표면이
as I was when I was a student.
호기심이 가득해졌습니다.
to put figures in these paintings, people,
그려넣고 싶어졌어요.
맘에 들었습니다.
both people and this atmosphere.
섞어놓고 싶었습니다.
분출되서 그런걸 거예요.
what I've been working on.
보여드릴까 해요.
and it's like a preview, I guess,
일종의 시사회라고 해두죠.
what matters most to me,
저에게 있어 가장 중요한 것들을요.
where there's no resisting or controlling.
영역에서 생기는 것입니다.
big losses in our lives,
큰 상실감을 느낄 것입니다
어린 시절에서도요.
잃을 수도 있습니다.
are out of our control.
통제하지 못합니다.
그저 두세요.
손에서 놓아버리세요.
나약함을 받아들이세요.
여러분의 생각이죠.
자리잡고 있는지 보세요.
생생하게 살아있습니다.
진정으로 원하는 것이죠.
to find something beautiful
있는 기회를 잡으세요.
예측할 수 없더라도
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Alyssa Monks - PainterAlyssa Monks transfers the intimacy and vulnerability of human experience onto a painted surface.
Why you should listen
Alyssa Monks blurs the line between abstraction and realism through layering different spaces and moments in her paintings. Using semi-transparent filters of glass, vinyl, steam and water to flip background and foreground in her 10-year water series, she seduced the viewer into shallow spaces. Today, she is imposing a transparent landscape of infinite space over her emotionally evocative subjects.
The tension in her mostly large-scale paintings is sustained not only by the composition but also by the surface treatment itself. Each brushstroke is thickly applied oil paint, like a fossil recording every gesture and decision, expressing the energetic and empathic experience of the handmade object.
Monks's work is represented by Forum Gallery in New York City. She lives and paints in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. Her latest solo exhibition "Resolution" took place March and April of 2016 at Forum Gallery. Monks's paintings have been the subject of numerous solo and group exhibitions including "Intimacy" at the Kunst Museum in Ahlen, Germany and "Reconfiguring the Body in American Art, 1820–2009" at the National Academy Museum of Fine Arts, New York. Her work is represented in public and private collections, including the Savannah College of Arts, the Somerset Art Association, Fullerton College, the Seavest Collection and the collections of Eric Fischl, Howard Tullman, Gerrity Lansing, Danielle Steele, Alec Baldwin and Luciano Benetton.
Born 1977 in New Jersey, Monks began oil painting as a child. She studied at The New School in New York and Montclair State University and earned her B.A. from Boston College in 1999. During this time she studied painting at Lorenzo de’ Medici in Florence. She went on to earn her M.F.A from the New York Academy of Art, Graduate School of Figurative Art in 2001. She completed an artist in residency at Fullerton College in 2006 and has lectured and taught at universities and institutions nationwide. She continues to offer workshops and lectures regularly.
Monks has been awarded the Elizabeth Greenshields Foundation Grant for Painting three times and serves as a member of the New York Academy of Art's Board of Trustees.
Alyssa Monks | Speaker | TED.com