TED2014
David Brooks: Should you live for your résumé ... or your eulogy?
David Brooks: Duhet te jetoni per rezymen tuaj ... apo per eulogjine?
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Brenda secilit prej nesh jane dy persona, sugjeron David Brooks ne kete bisede te shkurter medituese: uni qe kerkon sukses, qe nderton nje rezyme, dhe uni i cili kerkon lidhje, shoqeri, dashuri -- vlerat qe krijojne nje eulogji te madhe. (Joseph Soloveitchik i ka quajtur keto une "Adam I" and "Adam II.") A mund ti balancojme keto dy une?
David Brooks - Op-ed columnist
Writer and thinker David Brooks has covered business, crime and politics over a long career in journalism. Full bio
Writer and thinker David Brooks has covered business, crime and politics over a long career in journalism. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:12
So I've been thinking about the difference between
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Kam menduar per dallimin ndermjet
00:14
the résumé virtues and
the eulogy virtues.
the eulogy virtues.
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virtyteve te rezymes dhe virtyteve te eulogjise.
00:17
The résumé virtues are the
ones you put on your résumé,
ones you put on your résumé,
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Virtytet e rezymes jane ato
te cilat ju i vendosni ne nje rezyme,
te cilat ju i vendosni ne nje rezyme,
00:20
which are the skills
you bring to the marketplace.
you bring to the marketplace.
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te cilat jane aftesite qe ju sillni ne treg.
00:23
The eulogy virtues are the ones
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Virtytet e eulogjise jane ato
00:25
that get mentioned in the eulogy,
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qe permenden ne nje eulogji,
00:27
which are deeper: who are you,
in your depth,
in your depth,
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te cilat jane me te thella: kush jeni ju,
ne thellesine tuaj,
ne thellesine tuaj,
00:30
what is the nature of your relationships,
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cila eshte natyra e marredhenies tuaj,
00:31
are you bold, loving, dependable, consistency?
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a jeni guximtar, i dashur,
i besueshem, i qendrueshem?
i besueshem, i qendrueshem?
00:35
And most of us, including
me, would say
me, would say
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Dhe shume nga ne, duke me perfshire
edhe mua, do te thonin
edhe mua, do te thonin
00:36
that the eulogy virtues are the
more important of the virtues.
more important of the virtues.
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se virtytet e eulogjise jane
vitytet me te rendesishme.
vitytet me te rendesishme.
00:40
But at least in my case,
are they the ones that
are they the ones that
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Por te pakten ne rastin tim, a jane ato
00:42
I think about the most?
And the answer is no.
And the answer is no.
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per te cilat mendoj me shume?
Dhe pergjigja eshte jo.
Dhe pergjigja eshte jo.
00:45
So I've been thinking about that problem,
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Pra isha duke menduar per kete problem,
00:47
and a thinker who has
helped me think about it
helped me think about it
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dhe nje mendimtar qe me ka ndihmuar
te mendoj per kete gje
te mendoj per kete gje
00:48
is a guy named Joseph Soloveitchik, who was a rabbi
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eshte nje djale i quajtur Joseph Soloveitchik,
i cili ishte nje rabin
i cili ishte nje rabin
00:50
who wrote a book called "The
Lonely Man Of Faith" in 1965.
Lonely Man Of Faith" in 1965.
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dhe ka shkruar nje liber te titulluar
"Njeriu i vetmuar i besimit" ne 1965.
"Njeriu i vetmuar i besimit" ne 1965.
00:53
Soloveitchik said there are two sides of our natures,
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Soloveitchik ne kete liber ka thene
se jane dy ane te natyres sone,
se jane dy ane te natyres sone,
00:56
which he called Adam I
and Adam II.
and Adam II.
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te cilat ai i ka quajtur Adam I dhe Adam II.
00:59
Adam I is the worldly, ambitious,
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Adam I eshte materialist, ambicioz,
01:00
external side of our nature.
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ana e jashtme e natyres tone.
01:03
He wants to build, create,
create companies,
create companies,
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Ai deshiron te ndertoje,
te krijoje kompani,
te krijoje kompani,
01:05
create innovation.
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te krijoje risi.
01:06
Adam II is the humble
side of our nature.
side of our nature.
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Adam II eshte pjesa modeste e natyres sone.
01:09
Adam II wants not only
to do good but to be good,
to do good but to be good,
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Adam II deshiron jo vetem te beje mire
por te jete i mire,
por te jete i mire,
01:12
to live in a way internally
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te jetoje ne nje menyre
01:14
that honors God, creation and our possibilities.
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qe nderon Perendine,
krijesat dhe mundesite tona.
krijesat dhe mundesite tona.
01:18
Adam I wants to conquer the world.
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Adam I deshiron te pushtoje boten.
01:19
Adam II wants to hear
a calling and obey the world.
a calling and obey the world.
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Adam II deshiron te degjoj nje thirrje
dhe ti bindet botes.
dhe ti bindet botes.
01:22
Adam I savors accomplishment.
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Adam I i shijon arritjet.
01:25
Adam II savors inner
consistency and strength.
consistency and strength.
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Adam II shijon qendrueshmerine
e brendshme dhe forcen.
e brendshme dhe forcen.
01:27
Adam I asks how things work.
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Adam I pyet sesi funksionojne gjerat.
01:30
Adam II asks why we're here.
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Adam II pyet pse jemi ketu.
01:32
Adam I's motto is "success."
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Motoja e Adam I eshte "suksesi"
01:35
Adam II's motto is "love, redemption and return."
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Motoja e Adam II eshte 'dashuria,
rimesherim dhe kthimi."
rimesherim dhe kthimi."
01:39
And Soloveitchik argued
that these two sides
that these two sides
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Dhe Soloveitchik argumenton se keto dy ane
01:41
of our nature are
at war with each other.
at war with each other.
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te natyres tone jane ne lufte me njera-tjetren.
01:43
We live in perpetual self-confrontation
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Ne jetojme ne nje
vete-ballafaqim te vazhdueshem
vete-ballafaqim te vazhdueshem
01:45
between the external success and the internal value.
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ndermjet suksesit te jashtem
dhe vleres se brendshme.
dhe vleres se brendshme.
01:49
And the tricky thing,
I'd say, about these
I'd say, about these
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Dhe gjeja e nderlikuar per keto
01:51
two sides of our nature is they work
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dy ane ane te natyres tone eshte se punojne
01:53
by different logics.
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nga logjika te ndryshme.
01:55
The external logic is
an economic logic:
an economic logic:
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Logjika e jashtme eshte nje logjike ekonomike:
01:57
input leads to output,
risk leads to reward.
risk leads to reward.
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te dhenat sjellin rezultate,
rreziku sjell shperblim.
rreziku sjell shperblim.
02:01
The internal side of our nature
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Ana e brendshme e natyres tone
02:03
is a moral logic and
often an inverse logic.
often an inverse logic.
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eshte nje logjike morale dhe
shpesh nje logjike e anasjellte.
shpesh nje logjike e anasjellte.
02:06
You have to give to receive.
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Duhet te japesh qe te marresh.
02:08
You have to surrender
to something outside yourself
to something outside yourself
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Duhet ti dorezoheni dickaje jashte vetes
02:10
to gain strength within yourself.
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per te fituar force brenda vetes tuaj.
02:12
You have to conquer the
desire to get what you want.
desire to get what you want.
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Ju duhet te pushtoni deshiren
qe te arrini ate qe doni.
qe te arrini ate qe doni.
02:14
In order to fulfill yourself,
you have to forget yourself.
you have to forget yourself.
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Ne menyre qe te plotesoni veten tuaj,
ju duhet te harroni veten tuaj.
ju duhet te harroni veten tuaj.
02:17
In order to find yourself,
you have to lose yourself.
you have to lose yourself.
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Ne menyre qe te gjeni veten tuaj,
ju duhet ta humbisni ate.
ju duhet ta humbisni ate.
02:21
We happen to live in a society
that favors Adam I,
that favors Adam I,
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Ndodh qe ne jetojme ne nje shoqeri
qe favorizon Adam I,
qe favorizon Adam I,
02:24
and often neglects Adam II.
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dhe shpesh e neglizhon Adam II.
02:27
And the problem is, that turns
you into a shrewd animal
you into a shrewd animal
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Dhe problemi eshte se, ju ktheheni
ne nje kafshe te mprehte
ne nje kafshe te mprehte
02:30
who treats life as a game,
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e cila e trajton jeten si nje loje,
02:31
and you become a cold,
calculating creature
calculating creature
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dhe ju beheni nje krijese
e ftohte dhe llogaritese
e ftohte dhe llogaritese
02:34
who slips into a sort of mediocrity
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që rreshket ne nje lloj mediokriteti
02:37
where you realize there's a difference
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ku ti e kupton se ka një dallim
02:38
between your desired
self and your actual self.
self and your actual self.
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ndermjet unit tend te deshiruar
dhe unit tend te tanishem.
dhe unit tend te tanishem.
02:41
You're not earning the sort of eulogy you want,
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Ju nuk jeni duke fituar eulogjine qe deshironi,
02:45
you hope someone will give to you.
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qe shpresoni qe dikush do te mbaje per ju.
02:46
You don't have the
depth of conviction.
depth of conviction.
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Ju nuk keni bindjen e thelle.
02:48
You don't have an emotional sonorousness.
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Ju nuk keni nje emocion kumbues.
02:51
You don't have
commitment to tasks
commitment to tasks
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Ju nuk keni perkushtimin ndaj detyrave
02:52
that would take more than a lifetime to commit.
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qe duan perkushtim gjate nje jete te tere.
02:56
I was reminded of a common
response through history
response through history
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M'u kujtua nje pergjigje e zakonshme
pergjate historise
pergjate historise
02:59
of how you build a solid Adam II,
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sesi te formoni nje Adam II te forte,
03:02
how you build a depth of character.
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si te formoni nje karakter te thelle.
03:04
Through history, people
have gone back
have gone back
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Permes historise, njerezit jane kthyer pas
03:07
into their own pasts,
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ne te shkuaren e tyre,
03:09
sometimes to a precious
time in their life,
time in their life,
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ndonjehere ne nje kohe te cmuar
te jetes se tyre,
te jetes se tyre,
03:11
to their childhood,
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te femijerise se tyre,
03:12
and often, the mind
gravitates in the past
gravitates in the past
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dhe shpesh, mendja vertitet ne te kaluaren,
03:16
to a moment of shame,
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ne nje moment te turpshem,
03:18
some sin committed,
some act of selfishness,
some act of selfishness,
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disa mekate qe jane kryer,
disa fakte egoiste,
disa fakte egoiste,
03:21
an act of omission, of shallowness,
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ne një akt te mosveprimit, te cektësisë,
03:23
the sin of anger, the sin of self-pity,
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mëkate zemërimi, mëkate te vetëkeqardhjes,
03:26
trying to be a people-pleaser,
a lack of courage.
a lack of courage.
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duke u perpjekur kenaqni te tjeret,
nje mungese guximi.
nje mungese guximi.
03:29
Adam I is built by
building on your strengths.
building on your strengths.
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Adam I eshte i ndertuar mbi fuqite tuaja.
03:34
Adam II is built by fighting
your weaknesses.
your weaknesses.
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Adam II eshte i ndertuar
duke luftuar dobesite tuaja.
duke luftuar dobesite tuaja.
03:38
You go into yourself,
you find the sin
you find the sin
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Kerkoni ne veten tuaj, e gjeni mekatin
03:41
which you've committed over
and again through your life,
and again through your life,
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te cilin e keni kryer perseri
dhe perseri gjate jetes suaj,
dhe perseri gjate jetes suaj,
03:42
your signature sin
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mekatin qe ka lene shenje
03:44
out of which the others emerge,
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nga i cili burojne te tjeret,
03:47
and you fight that sin and you wrestle with that sin,
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dhe ju e luftoni ate mekat
dhe ju e mundni ate mekat
dhe ju e mundni ate mekat
03:50
and out of that wrestling,
that suffering,
that suffering,
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dhe nga ajo mundje luftim, nga ajo vuajtje,
03:53
then a depth of character is constructed.
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nje karakter i forte eshte krijuar.
03:57
And we're often not
taught to recognize
taught to recognize
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Ne shpesh ne nuk jemi te mesuar te njohim
03:58
the sin in ourselves,
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mekatin ne veten tone,
04:00
in that we're not taught in this culture
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dhe ne kulturen tone ne nuk na kane mesuar
04:01
how to wrestle with it,
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sesi te luftojme me te,
04:03
how to confront it,
and how to combat it.
and how to combat it.
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sesi te perballemi me te dhe
sesi ta kundershtojme ate.
sesi ta kundershtojme ate.
04:06
We live in a culture
with an Adam I mentality
with an Adam I mentality
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Ne jetojme në nje kulture
me nje mentalitet Adam I
me nje mentalitet Adam I
04:09
where we're inarticulate
about Adam II.
about Adam II.
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ku ne jemi te paqarte ne lidhje me Adam II.
04:13
Finally, Reinhold Niebuhr
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Se fundmi, Reinhold Niebuhr
04:14
summed up the confrontation, the fully lived
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permblodhi perballjen, jeten e
04:16
Adam I and Adam II life, this way:
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Adam I dhe Adam II, ne kete menyre:
04:20
"Nothing that is worth doing
can be achieved in our lifetime;
can be achieved in our lifetime;
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"Asgje qe ja vlen te realizohet
nuk mund te arrihet ne jeten tone;
nuk mund te arrihet ne jeten tone;
04:23
therefore we must
be saved by hope.
be saved by hope.
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per kete arsye ne duhet
te shpetohemi nga shpresa.
te shpetohemi nga shpresa.
04:26
Nothing which is true or
beautiful or good makes
beautiful or good makes
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Asgje qe eshte e vertete
apo e bukur ose e bere mire
apo e bukur ose e bere mire
04:29
complete sense in any immediate context of history;
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ka kuptim te plote dhe
te menjehershem ne nje kontekst :
te menjehershem ne nje kontekst :
04:32
therefore we must be saved by faith.
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per kete arsye ne duhet
te shpetohemi nga besimi.
te shpetohemi nga besimi.
04:34
Nothing we do, however virtuous,
can be accomplished alone;
can be accomplished alone;
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Asgje qe ne bejme, sado e vitytshme te jete,
mund te arrihet vetem;
mund te arrihet vetem;
04:38
therefore we must
be saved by love.
be saved by love.
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per kete arsye ne duhet
te shpetohemi nga dashuria.
te shpetohemi nga dashuria.
04:41
No virtuous act is quite as virtuous
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Asnje akt i virtytshem
nuk eshte dhe aq i virtytshem
nuk eshte dhe aq i virtytshem
04:44
from the standpoint of our friend
or foe as from our own standpoint.
or foe as from our own standpoint.
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nga pikepamja e miqve tane apo e armikut,
apo nga pikepamja jone.
apo nga pikepamja jone.
04:48
Therefore we must be saved
by that final form of love,
by that final form of love,
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Prandaj ne duhet te shpetohemi
nga forma perfundimtare e dashurise,
nga forma perfundimtare e dashurise,
04:50
which is forgiveness.”
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e cila eshte falja."
04:52
Thanks.
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Falemnderit.
04:54
(Applause)
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(Duartrokitje)
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
David Brooks - Op-ed columnistWriter and thinker David Brooks has covered business, crime and politics over a long career in journalism.
Why you should listen
David Brooks became an Op-Ed columnist for The New York Times in September 2003. He is currently a commentator on "The PBS Newshour," NPR’s "All Things Considered" and NBC's "Meet the Press."
He is the author of Bobos in Paradise and The Social Animal. In April 2015, he released with his fourth book, The Road to Character, which was a #1 New York Times bestseller.
Brooks also teaches at Yale University, and is a member of the American Academy of Arts & Sciences.
Born on August 11, 1961 in Toronto, Canada, Brooks graduated a bachelor of history from the University of Chicago in 1983. He became a police reporter for the City News Bureau, a wire service owned jointly by the Chicago Tribune and Sun-Times.
He worked at The Washington Times and then The Wall Street Journal for nine years. His last post at the Journal was as Op-ed Editor. Prior to that, he was posted in Brussels, covering Russia, the Middle East, South Africa and European affairs. His first post at the Journal was as editor of the book review section, and he filled in as the Journal's movie critic.
He also served as a senior editor at The Weekly Standard for 9 years, as well as contributing editor for The Atlantic and Newsweek.
David Brooks | Speaker | TED.com