Susan David: The gift and power of emotional courage
סוזן דייויד: המתנה והכח של אומץ רגשי
Susan David, a Harvard Medical School psychologist, studies emotional agility: the psychology of how we can use emotion to bring forward our best selves in all aspects of how we love, live, parent and lead. Full bio
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intention behind the word
literally translated means,
I bring you into being."
being greeted like that.
in the way we see ourselves?
לגבי האופן שבו אנו רואים את עצמנו?
and fraught world?
at the center of my life's work.
with our inner world drives everything.
עם עולמנו הפנימי מניעה את הכל:
of emotions as good or bad,
of complexity is toxic.
of emotional agility
של גמישות רגשית
of a university,
of apartheid South Africa,
באפרטהייד של דרום אפריקה,
committed to not seeing.
of racist legislation possible
של חקיקה גזענית לאפשרית,
that they are doing nothing wrong.
שהם לא עושים שום דבר רע.
of the destructive power of denial
ההרסני של ההכחשה ברמה האישית,
to the country of my birth.
and say goodbye to my father
and walked the passage that ran through
ופסעתי דרך המסדרון שהוביל
my father lay dying of cancer.
but he knew I was there.
אבל הוא ידע שאני שם
to mathematics to history to biology,
I would shrug and say, "OK."
to keep his small business going
was grieving the love of her life
and emotionally ravaged.
isolated, fast.
the full weight of my grief.
that values relentless positivity,
my story of triumph over grief.
את סיפור ניצחוני על האבל.
fixed me with burning blue eyes
התמקדה בי עם עיניה הכחולות,
authentically to my grief and pain.
לאבל שלי ולכאב שלי.
that started in this blank notebook
correspondence with myself.
the rigidity of denial
from its fragility.
that we are unseen.
where that child once was,
brings us to our knees.
מורידה אותנו לברכיים.
this frailty successfully or sustainably.
בהצלחה או בצורה בת קיימא.
tells us that depression
of disability globally --
political and economic change,
פוליטיים וכלכליים, חסרי תקדים,
into rigid responses to their emotions.
תגובות קשיחות לרגשותיהם.
obsessively brood on our feelings.
באובססיביות על רגשותינו,
bottle our emotions,
deemed legitimate.
with over 70,000 people,
so-called "bad emotions,"
these feelings.
like our children --
כמו הילדים שלנו.
out of emotions seen as negative,
מלהרגיש רגשות שנתפסים כ"רעים,"
as inherently valuable.
are now seen as good or bad.
נתפסים כ"טובים" או "רעים".
a new form of moral correctness.
חדשה של תקינות מוסרית.
to just stay positive.
or false positivity, it's this:
חיוביות שקרית, הוא זה:
lesson we can learn
are pushed aside or ignored,
in the refrigerator --
of unwanted emotions when you ignore them,
רגשות בלתי רצויים כשאתם מתעלים מהם,
to embrace false positivity,
בכדי לחבק חיוביות שקרית,
to deal with the world as it is,
בכדי להתמודד עם העולם כפי שהוא,
what they don't want to feel.
מה הם לא רוצים להרגיש.
I don't want to feel disappointed."
בגלל שאני לא רוצה להתאכזב."
by their feelings.
רגשות לא רצויים או לא נוחים
that comes with failure.
of our contract with life.
to a meaningful life.
to what I did feel.
למה שבאמת הרגשתי.
of all of our emotions --
to resilience, thriving,
that just an acceptance of emotions.
מאשר קבלה של רגשות.
I found that words are essential.
to describe our feelings.
מהירות וקלות לתאר את רגשותינו.
common one I hear.
הכי נפוצה שאני שומעת.
between stress and disappointment
of "I'm in the wrong career."
ש"אני בקריירה הלא נכונה".
the precise cause of our feelings.
המדוייק לרגשות שלנו.
the readiness potential in our brain
"המוכנות הפוטנציאלית" במח שלנו
to take concrete steps.
the right steps for us.
הצעדים הנכונים עבורינו.
to things that we care about.
לדברים המשמעותיים עבורינו.
anything in our worlds.
that you value equity and fairness --
אתם מעריכים שיוויון והוגנות --
to the difficult emotions,
that are values-aligned.
they are not directives.
our emotions for their values
in his frustration with his baby sister --
בתסכול של בני עם אחותו התינוקת --
that he gets to give her away
שהוא יכול לתת אותה
he sees in a shopping mall.
הם לא הבעלים שלנו.
between how I feel in all my wisdom
איך אני מרגישה ברוב חוכמתי
הכי טובות של עצמנו,
to the journal of your hearts.
הופיעו ליומן שבלבכם.
as in, "I'm angry" or "I'm sad."
כמו "אני כועס" או "אני עצוב."
as if you are the emotion.
and the emotion is a data source.
the feeling for what it is:
to bring the best of themselves to work,
עצמם בצורה הטובה ביותר לעבודה,
to feel their emotional truth,
flourish in the organization.
individuals, teams,
הגמישים ביותר ובעלי החוסן הכי גדול,
to the normal human emotions.
לרגשות הנורמליים והאנושיים.
towards my values?"
to be with your emotions
להיות עם הרגשות שלכם
to take values-connected steps.
terrified by the idea of death.
מהמחשבה על מוות.
with soft pats and kisses.
עם ליטופים רכים ונשיקות,
a buffer between me and reality.
through those nights.
מדריך אותי בלילות האלו.
is not an absence of fear;
is all too precious
correspondence with your own heart.
של התכתבות עם הלב שלכם.
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Susan David - Psychologist, researcher, authorSusan David, a Harvard Medical School psychologist, studies emotional agility: the psychology of how we can use emotion to bring forward our best selves in all aspects of how we love, live, parent and lead.
Why you should listen
What does it take internally, in the way we deal with our thoughts, emotions and stories, for us to thrive in a complex and changing world? How we respond to these inner experiences drives our actions, careers, relationships, happiness, health -- everything that matters in our lives. Susan David became fascinated by this question through first-hand experience of loss and resilience, while growing up in a country in which hate was legislated: apartheid South Africa.
David holds a PhD in the psychology of emotions, is an award-winning Harvard Medical School psychologist, and is ranked as one of the world's leading management thinkers. Her #1 Wall Street Journal bestselling book, Emotional Agility, describes the psychological skills critical to thriving in times of complexity and change. David is CEO of Evidence Based Psychology, on Harvard Medical School faculty, and a co-founder of the Institute of Coaching. Described as "a powerful speaker, visionary thinker and inspirational personality," she is an unwavering believer in the power of people to bring the best of who they are to themselves, their children, their organizations and their communities.
Susan David | Speaker | TED.com