TED@State Street London
Morgana Bailey: The danger of hiding who you are
Morgana Bejli (Morgana Bailey): Opasnosti samoskrivanja
Filmed:
Readability: 4.3
3,050,914 views
Morgana Bejli je svoje istinsko ja krila 16 godina. U ovom hrabrom govoru, izgovara tri reči koje se nekima mogu činiti nevažnim, ali koje su nju paralisale. Zašto je odlučila da digne svoj glas? Zato što je shvatila da njena ćutnja ima lične, profesionalne i društvene posledice. Pred publikom, koju su činile njene kolege, ona iznosi mišljenje o značenju straha od osude i tome kako nas on nagoni da osuđujemo sami sebe.
Morgana Bailey - Human resources professional
A human resources activist, Morgana Bailey wants to see the diversity of society reflected in the workplace, and employees of all walks of life feel comfortable being open about who they are. Full bio
A human resources activist, Morgana Bailey wants to see the diversity of society reflected in the workplace, and employees of all walks of life feel comfortable being open about who they are. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:13
When I was young,
I prided myself as a nonconformist
I prided myself as a nonconformist
0
1162
4542
Kada sam bila mlada, ponosila sam se
sobom kao nekonformistom
sobom kao nekonformistom
00:17
in the conservative
U.S. state I live in, Kansas.
U.S. state I live in, Kansas.
1
5704
4725
koji živi u konzervativnoj državi
SAD-a - Kanzasu.
SAD-a - Kanzasu.
00:22
I didn't follow along with the crowd.
2
10429
2313
Nisam radila što i većina,
00:24
I wasn't afraid to try
weird clothing trends or hairstyles.
weird clothing trends or hairstyles.
3
12742
3431
nisam se bojala da isprobam neobične
trendove u oblačenju ili frizure.
trendove u oblačenju ili frizure.
00:28
I was outspoken and extremely social.
4
16173
3589
Bila sam otvorena i izrazito društvena.
00:31
Even these pictures and postcards
of my London semester abroad 16 years ago
of my London semester abroad 16 years ago
5
19762
6331
Čak i ove fotografije i razglednice sa mog
semestra u Londonu, od pre 16 godina,
semestra u Londonu, od pre 16 godina,
00:38
show that I obviously didn't care
if I was perceived as weird or different.
if I was perceived as weird or different.
6
26093
6004
pokazuju da očigledno nisam marila
da li će me drugi smatrati čudnom
ili drugačijom.
ili drugačijom.
00:44
(Laughter)
7
32097
1484
(Smeh)
00:46
But that same year
I was in London, 16 years ago,
I was in London, 16 years ago,
8
34681
4606
Ali te iste godine, kada sam
bila u Londonu, pre 16 godina,
bila u Londonu, pre 16 godina,
00:51
I realized something about myself
that actually was somewhat unique,
that actually was somewhat unique,
9
39290
5409
shvatila sam o sebi nešto
što je bilo prilično jedinstveno,
što je bilo prilično jedinstveno,
00:56
and that changed everything.
10
44699
3360
i to je promenilo sve.
01:01
I became the opposite
of who I thought I once was.
of who I thought I once was.
11
49169
3910
Postala sam suprotnost onome
što sam o sebi ranije mislila.
što sam o sebi ranije mislila.
01:05
I stayed in my room
instead of socializing.
instead of socializing.
12
53079
2926
Ostajala sam u svojoj sobi
umesto da se družim.
umesto da se družim.
01:08
I stopped engaging in clubs
and leadership activities.
and leadership activities.
13
56005
4380
Prestala sam da učestvujem u klubovima
i aktivnostima koje uključuju vođstvo.
i aktivnostima koje uključuju vođstvo.
01:12
I didn't want to stand out
in the crowd anymore.
in the crowd anymore.
14
60385
3875
Nisam više želela
da se izdvajam iz gomile.
da se izdvajam iz gomile.
01:16
I told myself it was because
I was growing up and maturing,
I was growing up and maturing,
15
64260
4065
Govorila sam sebi da je to posledica
odrastanja i sazrevanja,
odrastanja i sazrevanja,
01:20
not that I was suddenly
looking for acceptance.
looking for acceptance.
16
68325
3234
a ne jer sam iznenada tražila prihvatanje.
01:23
I had always assumed I was immune
to needing acceptance.
to needing acceptance.
17
71559
3021
Oduvek sam smatrala
da sam na tu potrebu imuna.
da sam na tu potrebu imuna.
01:26
After all, I was a bit unconventional.
18
74580
2364
Na kraju krajeva, bila sam
donekle nekonvencionalna.
donekle nekonvencionalna.
01:29
But I realize now
19
77814
1537
Ali sada mi je jasno
01:31
that the moment I realized
something was different about me
something was different about me
20
79351
4165
da je trenutak u kojem sam shvatila
da sam po nečemu drugačija
da sam po nečemu drugačija
01:35
was the exact same moment
that I began conforming and hiding.
that I began conforming and hiding.
21
83516
5603
bio baš isti trenutak u kojem
sam počela se uklapam i krijem.
sam počela se uklapam i krijem.
Skrivanje je navika koja napreduje,
01:41
Hiding is a progressive habit,
22
89728
2472
i kada jednom počnete da se krijete,
01:44
and once you start hiding,
23
92200
1748
01:45
it becomes harder and harder
to step forward and speak out.
to step forward and speak out.
24
93948
5005
postaje sve teže i teže da istupite
i kažete svoje mišljenje.
i kažete svoje mišljenje.
Zapravo, čak i sada,
01:51
In fact, even now,
25
99888
1934
01:53
when I was talking to people
about what this talk was about,
about what this talk was about,
26
101822
3875
kada sam ljudima pričala
o temi ovog govora,
o temi ovog govora,
01:57
I made up a cover story
27
105697
1836
izmislila sam priču
kojom bih zabašurila istinu.
kojom bih zabašurila istinu.
01:59
and I even hid the truth
about my TED Talk.
about my TED Talk.
28
107533
3815
I čak sam sakrila istinu o mom TED govoru.
02:04
So it is fitting and scary
29
112388
4941
Tako da je prikladno i zastrašujuće
02:09
that I have returned
to this city 16 years later
to this city 16 years later
30
117329
4190
to što sam se nakon 16 godina
vratila u ovaj grad
vratila u ovaj grad
02:13
and I have chosen this stage
to finally stop hiding.
to finally stop hiding.
31
121519
5292
i što sam izabrala ovu pozornicu
da konačno prestanem da se krijem.
da konačno prestanem da se krijem.
02:20
What have I been hiding
for 16 years?
for 16 years?
32
128093
4232
Šta sam to krila 16 godina?
02:26
I am a lesbian.
33
134205
3397
Ja sam lezbejka.
02:29
(Applause)
34
137602
5233
(Aplauz)
02:45
Thank you.
35
153513
2525
Hvala.
02:48
I've struggled to say those words,
36
156038
2359
Opirala sam se izgovaranju ovih reči,
02:50
because I didn't want
to be defined by them.
to be defined by them.
37
158397
3176
jer nisam želela da me one definišu.
02:53
Every time I would think
about coming out in the past,
about coming out in the past,
38
161573
2629
Svaki put kada bih u prošlosti
razmišljala o sopstvenom razotkrivanju
razmišljala o sopstvenom razotkrivanju
02:56
I would think to myself,
but I just want to be known as Morgana,
but I just want to be known as Morgana,
39
164202
5064
govorila bih sebi da ja samo želim
da me znaju kao Morganu
da me znaju kao Morganu
03:01
uniquely Morgana,
40
169266
2164
i samo kao Morganu,
03:03
but not "my lesbian friend Morgana,"
or "my gay coworker Morgana."
or "my gay coworker Morgana."
41
171430
5009
a ne kao: "moju prijateljicu
lezbejku Morganu",
lezbejku Morganu",
ili: "moju gej koleginicu Morganu".
03:08
Just Morgana.
42
176439
2454
Samo kao Morganu.
03:10
For those of you from large
metropolitan areas,
metropolitan areas,
43
178893
3409
Onima od vas koji žive
u velikim gradovima,
u velikim gradovima,
ovo se možda ne čini naročito važnim.
03:14
this may not seem like a big deal to you.
44
182302
2593
03:16
It may seem strange
that I have suppressed the truth
that I have suppressed the truth
45
184895
2944
Možda vam je čudno
što sam potiskivala istinu
što sam potiskivala istinu
03:19
and hidden this for so long.
46
187839
3196
i ovo sakrivala tako dugo.
03:23
But I was paralyzed by my fear
of not being accepted.
of not being accepted.
47
191035
4691
Ali ja sam bila paralizovana
strahom od neprihvatanja.
strahom od neprihvatanja.
03:28
And I'm not alone, of course.
48
196818
2641
I u ovome, naravno, nisam usamljena.
03:31
A 2013 Deloitte study found
that a surprisingly large number of people
that a surprisingly large number of people
49
199459
4849
Istraživanje Delojta iz 2013. pokazuje
da iznenađujuće veliki broj ljudi
da iznenađujuće veliki broj ljudi
03:36
hide aspects of their identity.
50
204308
2770
krije neki vid sopstvenog identiteta.
03:39
Of all the employees they surveyed,
51
207078
2871
Od svih zaposlenih koje su anketirali,
03:41
61 percent reported changing an aspect
of their behavior or their appearance
of their behavior or their appearance
52
209949
5619
61 procenat je izjavio kako su delimično
izmenili svoje ponašanje ili pojavu
izmenili svoje ponašanje ili pojavu
03:47
in order to fit in at work.
53
215568
2273
kako bi se bolje uklopili na radnom mestu.
03:49
Of all the gay, lesbian
and bisexual employees,
and bisexual employees,
54
217841
4629
Od svih zaposlenih
koji su gej, lezbejke i biseksualci,
koji su gej, lezbejke i biseksualci,
03:54
83 percent admitted to changing
some aspects of themselves
some aspects of themselves
55
222470
4790
83 procenata ih je priznalo
kako su kod sebe nešto promenili
kako su kod sebe nešto promenili
03:59
so they would not
appear at work "too gay."
appear at work "too gay."
56
227260
4498
kako se na poslu ne bi činili
"suviše gej".
"suviše gej".
04:04
The study found that even in companies
57
232417
2923
Istraživanje je pokazalo
da je čak i u kompanijama
da je čak i u kompanijama
04:07
with diversity policies
and inclusion programs,
and inclusion programs,
58
235340
3913
sa politikom raznovrsnosti
i programima uključivanja,
i programima uključivanja,
04:11
employees struggle
to be themselves at work
to be themselves at work
59
239253
2753
zaposlenima teško da na poslu
budu ono što jesu
budu ono što jesu
04:14
because they believe
conformity is critical
conformity is critical
60
242006
2983
jer veruju da je konformizam
od ključne važnosti
od ključne važnosti
04:16
to their long-term career advancement.
61
244989
3507
za dugoročno napredovanje na poslu.
04:20
And while I was surprised
that so many people just like me
that so many people just like me
62
248496
4942
Bila sam iznenađena
što tako mnogo ljudi, baš kao i ja
što tako mnogo ljudi, baš kao i ja
04:25
waste so much energy
trying to hide themselves,
trying to hide themselves,
63
253438
3793
troši toliko energije
pokušavajući da se sakrije
pokušavajući da se sakrije
04:29
I was scared when I discovered
that my silence
that my silence
64
257231
3891
ali sam se uplašila
kada sam otkrila da moja ćutnja
kada sam otkrila da moja ćutnja
04:33
has life-or-death consequences
and long-term social repercussions.
and long-term social repercussions.
65
261122
6310
za posledicu ima život ili smrt,
kao i dugoročne
negativne društvene posledice.
negativne društvene posledice.
Dvanaest godina:
04:41
Twelve years:
66
269117
2191
04:43
the length by which
life expectancy is shortened
life expectancy is shortened
67
271308
3671
vreme za koje je skraćen
očekivani životni vek
očekivani životni vek
04:46
for gay, lesbian and bisexual people
in highly anti-gay communities
in highly anti-gay communities
68
274979
6038
gej, lezbejki i biseksualaca
u izrazito anti-gej sredinama
u izrazito anti-gej sredinama
04:53
compared to accepting communities.
69
281017
2656
u poređenju sa sredinama
koje ih prihvataju.
koje ih prihvataju.
04:56
Twelve years reduced life expectancy.
70
284603
4128
Dvanaest godina kraći
očekivani životni vek.
očekivani životni vek.
05:01
When I read that in The Advocate
magazine this year,
magazine this year,
71
289301
3128
Kada sam, ove godine, to pročitala
u časopisu "The Advocate",
u časopisu "The Advocate",
05:04
I realized I could no longer
afford to keep silent.
afford to keep silent.
72
292429
3805
uvidela sam da više ne mogu
sebi da priuštim ćutnju.
sebi da priuštim ćutnju.
05:08
The effects of personal stress and
social stigmas are a deadly combination.
social stigmas are a deadly combination.
73
296904
5992
Uticaj ličnog stresa i društvenog
žigosanja su smrtonosna kombinacija.
žigosanja su smrtonosna kombinacija.
Istraživanje je pokazalo da među
homoseksualcima u anti-gej sredinama
homoseksualcima u anti-gej sredinama
05:16
The study found that gays
in anti-gay communities
in anti-gay communities
74
304692
3271
05:19
had higher rates of heart disease,
violence and suicide.
violence and suicide.
75
307963
5747
postoji viši nivo srčanih obolenja,
nasilja i samoubistava.
nasilja i samoubistava.
05:25
What I once thought
was simply a personal matter
was simply a personal matter
76
313710
3330
Ono što sam ranije smatrala ličnom stvari
05:29
I realized had a ripple effect
77
317040
2186
imalo je, kako sam shvatila,
ciklični efekat
ciklični efekat
05:31
that went into the workplace
and out into the community
and out into the community
78
319226
2594
koji se širio na radno mesto i u zajednicu
05:33
for every story just like mine.
79
321820
3365
za svaku priču poput moje.
05:37
My choice to hide
and not share who I really am
and not share who I really am
80
325185
3820
Moja odluka da se krijem
i ne otkrijem ko sam zaista
i ne otkrijem ko sam zaista
05:41
may have inadvertently contributed
to this exact same environment
to this exact same environment
81
329005
4043
je možda nehotice doprinela
upravo takvom okruženju
upravo takvom okruženju
05:45
and atmosphere of discrimination.
82
333048
2444
i atmosferi diskriminacije.
05:48
I'd always told myself
there's no reason to share that I was gay,
there's no reason to share that I was gay,
83
336192
5398
Oduvek sam govorila sebi
da nema razloga da otkrijem da sam gej,
da nema razloga da otkrijem da sam gej,
05:53
but the idea that my silence
has social consequences
has social consequences
84
341592
4217
ali kakve društvene posledice
nosi moja ćutnja
nosi moja ćutnja
05:57
was really driven home this year
when I missed an opportunity
when I missed an opportunity
85
345809
4860
duboko sam shvatila ove godine
kada sam propustila priliku
kada sam propustila priliku
06:02
to change the atmosphere of discrimination
in my own home state of Kansas.
in my own home state of Kansas.
86
350669
5752
da promenim atmosferu diskriminacije
u Kanzasu - mojoj rodnoj državi.
u Kanzasu - mojoj rodnoj državi.
06:08
In February, the Kansas House of
Representatives brought up a bill for vote
Representatives brought up a bill for vote
87
356421
5202
Predstavnički dom je u februaru
na glasanje stavio predlog zakona
na glasanje stavio predlog zakona
06:13
that would have essentially
allowed businesses
allowed businesses
88
361623
2524
koji bi, u osnovi, dozvoljavao preduzećima
06:16
to use religious freedom as a reason
to deny gays services.
to deny gays services.
89
364147
6598
da koriste slobodu religije kao osnovu
odbijanja da usluže homoseksualce.
odbijanja da usluže homoseksualce.
06:25
A former coworker and friend of mine
90
373063
3182
Otac moje prijateljice i bivše koleginice
06:28
has a father who serves
in the Kansas House of Representatives.
in the Kansas House of Representatives.
91
376245
4823
je član Predstavničkog doma.
06:33
He voted in favor of the bill,
92
381068
5178
On je glasao za predlog zakona,
06:38
in favor of a law that would allow
businesses to not serve me.
businesses to not serve me.
93
386253
6754
u korist zakona koji bi dozvolio
preduzećima da mene ne usluže.
preduzećima da mene ne usluže.
Šta moja prijateljica oseća
06:46
How does my friend feel
94
394647
1789
06:48
about lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender,
queer and questioning people?
queer and questioning people?
95
396436
5486
prema lezbejkama, gejevima,
biseksualcima, transrodnima,
biseksualcima, transrodnima,
kvir i onima koji se preispituju?
Šta o njima misli njen otac?
06:53
How does her father feel?
96
401922
2689
06:56
I don't know, because I was never honest
with them about who I am.
with them about who I am.
97
404611
5888
Ne znam, jer im nikada nisam
iskreno rekla ko sam.
iskreno rekla ko sam.
07:02
And that shakes me to the core.
98
410499
3274
I to me uznemirava do same srži.
07:05
What if I had told her my story years ago?
99
413773
3431
A šta da sam joj pre više godina
ispričala sopstvenu priču?
ispričala sopstvenu priču?
07:09
Could she have told
her father my experience?
her father my experience?
100
417204
2649
Da li bi mogla da moje iskustvo
prenese svom ocu?
prenese svom ocu?
07:11
Could I have ultimately
helped change his vote?
helped change his vote?
101
419853
5032
Da li sam ja, na kraju mogla da pomognem
da izmeni način na koji je glasao?
da izmeni način na koji je glasao?
07:16
I will never know,
102
424885
2463
Nikada neću saznati,
07:19
and that made me realize
I had done nothing
I had done nothing
103
427348
4132
i to me je navelo da shvatim
da nisam učinila ništa
da nisam učinila ništa
07:23
to try to make a difference.
104
431480
2243
kako bih pokušala da izmenim stvari.
07:27
How ironic that I work
in human resources,
in human resources,
105
435053
4021
Koliko je ironično to što radim
u ljudskim resursima,
u ljudskim resursima,
07:31
a profession that works to welcome,
106
439074
2438
zanimanju čiji je posao da dočeka,
07:33
connect and encourage
the development of employees,
the development of employees,
107
441512
3585
poveže i ohrabri razvoj zaposlenih,
07:37
a profession that advocates
that the diversity of society
that the diversity of society
108
445097
3242
profesiji koja se zalaže
da se raznolikost društva
da se raznolikost društva
07:40
should be reflected in the workplace,
109
448339
2665
odslikava na radnom mestu,
07:43
and yet I have done nothing
to advocate for diversity.
to advocate for diversity.
110
451004
5775
a ipak, ja nisam učinila ništa
kako bih podržala raznolikost.
kako bih podržala raznolikost.
07:48
When I came to this company one year ago,
111
456779
2870
Kada sam, pre godinu dana,
došla u ovo preduzeće,
došla u ovo preduzeće,
07:51
I thought to myself, this company
has anti-discrimination policies
has anti-discrimination policies
112
459649
5075
mislila sam: ovo preduzeće
ima antidiskriminacionu politiku
ima antidiskriminacionu politiku
07:56
that protect gay, lesbian,
bisexual and transgender people.
bisexual and transgender people.
113
464724
4053
koja štiti gej, lezbejke,
biseksualce i transrodne.
biseksualce i transrodne.
08:00
Their commitment to diversity is evident
through their global inclusion programs.
through their global inclusion programs.
114
468777
5706
Njihova posvećenost različitosti se ogleda
u njihovim globalnim
programima uključenja.
programima uključenja.
Kada prođem kroz vrata ovog preduzeća,
08:06
When I walk through the doors
of this company, I will finally come out.
of this company, I will finally come out.
115
474483
5162
konačno ću javno priznati
svoju homoseksualnost.
svoju homoseksualnost.
Ali nisam.
08:12
But I didn't.
116
480551
1989
08:14
Instead of taking advantage
of the opportunity,
of the opportunity,
117
482540
3710
Umesto da iskoristim mogućnost,
08:18
I did nothing.
118
486250
3279
nisam učinila ništa.
08:31
(Applause)
119
499838
6200
(Aplauz)
08:39
When I was looking through
my London journal and scrapbook
my London journal and scrapbook
120
507737
3915
Kada sam pregledala moj londonski
dnevnik i album
dnevnik i album
08:43
from my London semester
abroad 16 years ago,
abroad 16 years ago,
121
511652
3250
sa mog londonskog semestra u inostranstvu
od pre 16 godina,
od pre 16 godina,
08:46
I came across this modified quote
from Toni Morrison's book, "Paradise."
from Toni Morrison's book, "Paradise."
122
514902
5494
naišla sam na ovaj izmenjeni citat
iz romana "Raj", autorke Toni Morison.
iz romana "Raj", autorke Toni Morison.
08:53
"There are more scary things
inside than outside."
inside than outside."
123
521547
4294
"Više je zastrašujućih stvari unutra
nego napolju".
nego napolju".
08:57
And then I wrote a note
to myself at the bottom:
to myself at the bottom:
124
525841
3258
I tada sam na dnu stranice,
napisala sebi poruku:
napisala sebi poruku:
09:01
"Remember this."
125
529099
1884
"Zapamti ovo".
09:03
I'm sure I was trying to encourage myself
to get out and explore London,
to get out and explore London,
126
531983
4702
Sigurna sam da sam tako pokušavala da
se ohrabrim da izađem i istražujem London
se ohrabrim da izađem i istražujem London
09:08
but the message I missed was the need
to start exploring and embracing myself.
to start exploring and embracing myself.
127
536685
7073
ali ono što sam propustila je potreba
da počnem da istražujem i prihvatam sebe.
da počnem da istražujem i prihvatam sebe.
09:15
What I didn't realize
until all these years later
until all these years later
128
543762
3703
Ono što, kroz sve naredne godine,
nisam shvatala
nisam shvatala
09:19
is that the biggest obstacles
I will ever have to overcome
I will ever have to overcome
129
547465
4906
je da su najveće prepreke
koje ću ikada morati da prevaziđem
koje ću ikada morati da prevaziđem
09:24
are my own fears and insecurities.
130
552371
4067
moji sopstveni strahovi i nesigurnosti.
Verujem da ću, suočavajući se
sa svojim unutrašnjim strahovima
sa svojim unutrašnjim strahovima
09:28
I believe that by facing my fears inside,
I will be able to change reality outside.
I will be able to change reality outside.
131
556438
7438
biti sposobna da promenim spoljni svet.
09:37
I made a choice today
132
565498
2293
Danas sam donela odluku
09:39
to reveal a part of myself
that I have hidden for too long.
that I have hidden for too long.
133
567791
6542
da otkrijem deo sebe koji sam
suviše dugo krila.
suviše dugo krila.
09:46
I hope that this means
I will never hide again,
I will never hide again,
134
574333
4311
Nadam se da to znači
da se više nikada neću kriti,
da se više nikada neću kriti,
09:50
and I hope that by coming out today,
I can do something to change the data
I can do something to change the data
135
578644
6842
i nadam se da ću današnjim istupanjem
moći da uradim nešto na promeni podataka,
09:57
and also to help others who feel different
be more themselves and more fulfilled
be more themselves and more fulfilled
136
585492
6411
kao i da pomognem onima
koji se osećaju drugačijima,
koji se osećaju drugačijima,
da budu više ono što jesu
i da budu ispunjeniji
i da budu ispunjeniji
10:03
in both their professional
and personal lives.
and personal lives.
137
591903
4491
kako u profesionalnom
tako i u privatnom životu.
tako i u privatnom životu.
10:08
Thank you.
138
596394
2753
Hvala.
(Aplauz)
10:11
(Applause)
139
599147
6335
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Morgana Bailey - Human resources professionalA human resources activist, Morgana Bailey wants to see the diversity of society reflected in the workplace, and employees of all walks of life feel comfortable being open about who they are.
Why you should listen
“I am in human resources, a profession that works to welcome, connect and encourage the development of employees,” says Morgana Bailey. At State Street, she directs the Global Human Resources data management team, which maintains data records for the company’s approximately 29,000 employees. Morgana collaborates with people across State Street as corporate policies, regulatory requirements and related employee data requirements continually evolve. Her career experiences have confirmed that the only constant is change, and one’s ability — or inability — to adapt can generate profound long-term outcomes.
At TED@StateStreet, Morgana Bailey revealed a part of herself that she had kept supressed for 16 years. She hopes that her openness will inspire others to stop hiding, and be open about who they are in both their personal and professional lives.
Morgana Bailey | Speaker | TED.com