Tanya Menon: The secret to great opportunities? The person you haven't met yet
تانيا مينون: السر إلى فرص عظيمة؟ الشخص الذي لم تلتقي به بعد
Tanya Menon speaks, writes and consults on collaboration. Her research focuses on how people think about their relationships and the habits that allow them to build positive connections with other people. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
my students years later.
a funny thing happens.
in the classroom they were sitting.
they were sitting with as well.
any special superpowers of memory.
favorite people in their favorite seats.
على مقاعدهم المفضلة
they stay with them for the whole year.
ويبقون معًا طوال العام.
for my students is they're at risk
في أنهم معرضون للخطر
with just a few people
مع عدد قليل من الأفراد
for an international, diverse network.
لأجل شبكة تواصل عالمية متنوعة.
so that they can get great networks.
ليكونوا شبكات تواصل واسعة.
in our lives, in our school, in work,
في حياتنا جامعتنا واعمالنا
brought a friend along for this talk?
at your friend a little bit.
there's nothing wrong with this.
وفي الحقيقة، لا خطأ في ذلك.
around people who are similar.
عندما يحيط بنا من يشبهنا
we're on a precipice, right?
نكون على حافة الهاوية، أليس كذلك؟
when we need new ideas,
عندما نحتاج إلى أفكار جديدة،
when we need new resources --
عندما نحتاج إلى موارد جديدة --
for living in a clique.
had a famous paper
"مارك غرانوفيتر" ورقة بحثية معروفة
is he asked people
على أشخاص حول
most people don't get their jobs
الأشخاص لم يحصلوا على وظائفهم
their mother, their significant other.
أمهاتهم، الزوج.
people who they just met.
عبر أشخاص تعرفوا إليهم لتوهم.
the problem is with your strong ties,
مع روابطك القوية
significant other, for example.
people you just met today --
الذين تعرفت عليهم اليوم
to a whole new social world.
ticket to travel our social worlds,
لنسافر إلى عوالمنا الاجتماعية
human beings so close to home,
تجعل الانسان قريب الى المنزل
a little bit more intentional
a more imperfect social search engine.
الغير كاملة
and filtering your friends.
I want to get a great opportunity."
أريد أن أحصل على فرصة عظيمة"
are so fundamentally predictable."
is that you start at home,
انك تبدأ من المنزل
the same staircase or elevator,
the same bathroom --
you're seeing exactly the same people.
المشكلة أنك ترى نفس الاشخاص
slightly more inefficient.
network of people.
we are actually filtering.
بالاختيار
we are looking at them, we meet them,
ننظر إليهم ، نلتقي بهم
"You're relevant."
We can't even help it.
to do instead is to fight your filters.
around this room,
the least interesting person that you see,
على الاقل مثير للاهتمام
over the next coffee break.
في الاستراحة القادمة
even further than that.
the most irritating person you see as well
أكثر شخص مزعج
is you are forcing yourself
you don't want to connect with,
but you know what I do?
ولكن هل تعرفون ماذا أفعل؟
in their favorite seats.
bumps in the network
بدون قصد في الشبكة
to connect with each other.
على فرصة للتعرف على بعضهم
of an intervention at Harvard University.
الذي درسناه في جامعة هارفرد
the rooming groups,
people are not choosing those roommates.
لم يختاروا بأنفسهم شريك الغرفة
all different ethnicities.
with those roommates,
مع شريك الغرفة
that initial discomfort.
commonalities with people.
من المشتركات مع الاشخاص
"take someone out to coffee."
"على دعوة أحدهم للقهوة "
is you can't choose;
هو أنك لا تستطيع أن تختار
you're going to meet in that place.
من الذي ستقابلة في هذاك المكان
the paradox is, interestingly enough,
التناقص مثير للاهتمام للغاية
on every single floor.
who would bump into each other
لا غير الذين يلتقون ببعضهم
into each other anyway.
there was only one mail room,
كان بها غرفة بريد واحدة
from all over that building
in that social hub.
في هذا المحور الاجتماعي
from your social habits?
of unpredictable diversity?
غير متوقعة ومتنوعة؟
some wonderful examples.
pickup basketball games,
مباراة كرة السلة الودية
is when they go to a dog park.
عندما ذهبوا إلى حديقة الكلاب
than online dating when they're there.
عن طريق الانترنت عندما هم هناك
I want you to think about
a little more inefficient,
a more imprecise social search engine.
محرك بحث اجتماعي غير دقيق
to widen your travels,
a second-class ticket
تذاكر في الصف الثاني
when we reach out to people.
a very eventful year.
حصلت على سنة مليئة بالاحداث
overseas and accept it,
وظيفة أحلامي في الخارج وقبلت بها
what ended up happening was,
ما حصل في النهاية كان
new identity as a mother.
تعريفي الجديد كـ أم
of advice from people.
الكثير من النصائح من الناس
more than any other advice was,
أكثر من أي نصيحة كانت
is breaking down,
is to try and reach out
on a much larger scale.
and low socioeconomic status people,
الاجتماعية والاقتصادية المتدنية والمرتفعة
in a baseline condition,
في الحالة الاعتادية
our lower socioeconomic status people,
ذوي الحالة الاجتماعية والاقتصادية المتدنية
were actually reaching out to more people.
الحقيقة يتواصلون مع أشخاص أكثر
in how they were networking.
to think about maybe losing a job.
بالتفكير عن احتمالية خسارة وظائفهم
completely differed.
بصنعها أختلفت تماماً
people reached inwards.
متدنية تواصلوا داخلياً
people thought of more people,
فكروا بأشخاص أكثر
to bounce back from that setback.
لكي ينجوا من ذلك العائق
spontaneously unfriended
الاصدقاء بدون سابق انذار
your dad and your dog.
we need our networks the most.
الحاجة إلى شبكات تواصلنا
We're doing it to ourselves.
when we are being bullied,
وعندما يتم التنمر علينا
isolating ourselves,
ونعزل أنفسنا
don't see our resources.
الذي لا نرى فيه مصادرنا
we don't see our opportunities.
ولا نرى فرصنا
at your list of Facebook friends
قائمة أصدقائك في الفيس بوك
of people who are there
automatically come to mind.
في ذهنك تلقائياً
one of the things we did was,
أحدى الاشياء التي فعلناه
research on self-affirmation:
في توكيد النفس
and I were able to do is,
وأنا كان بإستطاعنا أن نفعل هذا
who had affirmed themselves first
الذين قامو بتوكيد أنفسهم أولا
النصيحة الاخرين
be threatening to them.
في بريدك الالكتروني
you asked somebody for a favor.
at the language that you used.
represents a metaphor.
in a transactional way,
في طريقة المعاملات
to us as human beings.
كـبشر
and reaching out to people
والتواصل مع الاشخاص
"you're welcome" in other languages.
" العفو " في اللغات الاخرى
translation of these words.
لهذه الكلمات
that helps us impose upon other people
على فرض أنفسنا على الاخرين
Italian, French,
الإيطالية ، الفرنسية
"نعمة" و "رحمة"
or transactional about those words.
في هذه الكلمات
Robert Cialdini says
ما نقدمه من خدمات
the transaction a little bit more.
قليلاً
do the same for me.'"
to not think in transactional ways,
ان لا نفكر بطريقة المعاملة
to make it a little bit more invisible.
"You're welcome," means,
need to go through those formalities."
لا نريد الخوض في هذه الرسميات "
is "Come back to me."
تعني "عد إلي مجدداً"
eliminate the transaction
or "That's what friends are for."
أو " لهذا الشيء يوجد الاصدقاء"
you think about this ticket that you have
عن التذكرة التي لديكم
"Life is a journey." Right?
" الحياة رحلة ". أليس كذلك؟
يغادر عند محطات مختلفة
some leave at different stops,
it's a beautiful one.
a different metaphor.
إلى استعاره أخرى
أن تكون مسافر في القطار
being a passenger on that train,
through the social universe.
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Tanya Menon - Organizational psychologistTanya Menon speaks, writes and consults on collaboration. Her research focuses on how people think about their relationships and the habits that allow them to build positive connections with other people.
Why you should listen
Tanya Menon is fascinated that in a time when we can instantaneously connect with nearly the whole world, we often instead filter our relationships even more narrowly. As such, we often get stuck in dead ends, missing out on new people, ideas and opportunities. Menon and her collaborators have studied the often mundane feelings and innocuous daily habits that cause people to remain in their social comfort zone and produce this polarization. And they have also explored ways that we can be more intentional about navigating the social world.
Menon is Associate Professor at the Ohio State University’s Fisher College of Business. Her research has been cited in the Wall Street Journal, Boston Globe, Chicago Tribune and The Financial Times. She is Associate Editor at Management Science journal, an award-winning teacher, and she has done keynotes, consulting and training for organizations all over the world. Her book with Dr. Leigh Thompson, Stop Spending, Start Managing: Strategies to Transform Wasteful Habits (2016, Harvard Business Review Press) explores various social traps people face in business, and how to overcome them.
Menon earned a bachelor's degree in sociology from Harvard University in 1995 and her Ph.D. from the Stanford Graduate School of Business. Her goal as a researcher, educator, consultant and parent is to create new ways for people to connect with each other so that they can live richer and more creative lives. She hopes that her work will help people intentionally create new habits to live a wider life and also share them widely.
Tanya Menon | Speaker | TED.com