Jean-Paul Mari: The chilling aftershock of a brush with death
جون-بول ماري: الصدمة المُرعبة بعد لقاء مع الموت
Jean-Paul Mari has reported on conflicts in more than three dozen countries. Full bio
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أغطّي حرب العراق.
covering the war in Iraq.
started arriving in Baghdad.
إلى بغداد.
في فندق "فلسطين"،
in the Palestine Hotel,
outside our windows.
كانت الرائحة كريهة،
in black smoke and oil.
but we knew what was happening.
to be writing an article,
في يوم الحدث.
and something big happens.
every now and then
لأرى ما كان يحدث.
with half-ton missiles,
تزن أكثر من نصف طن
شعرت بها بداخلي،
قريب جداً، جداً."
لألقي نظرة
يصرخون في الرواق.
screaming in the hallways.
been hit by a missile.
I wanted to help out.
وعندما فعلت ذلك،
from sternum to pubis,
nothing at all.
shiny spot that blinded me,
and I could see his wound,
underneath him,
في كل طابق لـ 15 طابقا.
that stopped at each of the 15 floors.
that took him to the hospital.
و المصور الإسباني "جوسي كوسو"،
who was on the 14th floor and also hit --
between the two floors --
I was supposed to write --
with my arms covered in blood,
والدماء تغطي ذراعي،
I hadn't paid for 10 days.
"Clear your head, put it all aside.
you need to put it all aside."
my article and sent it off.
عن خسارة زملائي،
of having lost my colleagues,
I can't just not know what happened."
and it didn't only happen to me.
happen to others
that had an effect on me too.
I knew in Lebanon,
who had been fighting for five years --
follow everywhere.
with confidence --
knowing that we would be safe with him.
تحت الطاولة كطفل!
made him duck quickly under the table,
ومنذ ذلك الحين،
been able to get up and fight.
where I later found him,
so it was quite a suitable job.
any visible scars?
أكثر من مجرد صدفة.
المتاحف، المكتبات...إلخ.
that some people knew about this --
وأننا كنا في مواجهة شيء
was called trauma.
PTDS، صدمة، اضطراب ما بعد الصدمة،
or traumatic neurosis.
لا أتحدث عن الجثث،
an experience with death --
لا!
lying in a hospital bed,
the void of death.
no one is supposed to see.
والموت وجهاً لوجه.
can be looked at with a steady eye."
فراغ الموت أمامه.
have to face the void of death.
that has entered your brain --
ثم يلوذ بداخله،
and your mind --
all the space inside.
men, women,
horrible anxiety attacks --
the same nightmare every night.
who enters a building
with another soldier aiming at him.
straight down the barrel.
becomes enormous, deformed.
وهنا يقول...
رأيتني ميتاً، أنا ميت"
he is convinced that he is dead.
the guy left or didn't shoot, whatever,
of a mass grave --
and there's nothing you can do.
for weeks, months --
anxious and terrified,
إذن بداخل الدماغ،
of horror in your brain,
which is hiding something --
you lock yourself in, you become ill.
مُعلبات صغيرة في الخارج
outside their house with coins inside,
like you want to die or kill
but you hate everyone.
ولا يفهم الآخرون أي شيء.
You seem fine, you have no injuries.
your daily planner --
I might as well commit suicide.
بهم المطاف تحت الجسور
others end up under the bridge, drinking.
قصة الجد أو العم/الخال،
that grandfather or uncle or neighbor
into alcoholism or dying.
إدمان الشرب أو الموت.
to express the void of death.
ليقول العدم والموت.
from an assignment,
white tablecloth, candles, guests.
were giving me dirty looks,
I ruined the whole evening.
who died in Iraq --
who went to Iraq
الأمريكيين في العراق،
ما بعد الصدمة.
from the First World War
in British psychiatric hospitals.
identified 102,000 --
from committing suicide.
than by combat in Vietnam.
but also ancient wars --
the evidence is there.
if you don't talk about it,
is that this is treatable --
نعم يمكن معالجتها!
that overwhelms, petrifies and kills you
الذي يصدمك، يفزعك، ويقتلك،
that holds all of us together."
بعضنا البعض باللغة"
that obsesses us --
مستبعدون من البشرية:
feel excluded from humanity.
and they don't want to see anyone.
ولا يرغبون في رؤيتنا.
I don't use the subway anymore
will see the horror in my eyes."
a terrible skin disease
going from doctor to doctor.
to a psychiatrist.
he told the psychiatrist
from head to toe.
"Why are you in this state?"
I'm dead, so I must be rotting away."
that has a profound effect on people.
we need to talk about it.
and talk about it again.
if we can talk about these things,
by working it out verbally,
our "unbearable lightness of being,"
that keeps us here --
like we're immortal, which we're not,
we'd say, "What's the point of it all?"
ستقولون:
that feeling of immortality.
to look death in the face,
rather than keep quiet and hide,
Carole from Iraq, Philippe from the Congo
after a trauma.
who did not survive the trauma.
and mortal, mortal and human,
and identify it once again
of all mysterious places,
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Jean-Paul Mari - Journalist and psychologistJean-Paul Mari has reported on conflicts in more than three dozen countries.
Why you should listen
Journalist and international correspondent, psychologist and physiotherapist, Jean-Paul Mari published several hundred reports abroad and several works.
He produced a documentary, Irak: quand les soldats meurent (Iraq, wen the soldiers die), as well as a movie, Sans blessures apparentes (Without Visible Wounds), based on his book of the same name, for which he won the 2010 Grand Prix et le Prix du Public. In 2009, he was the recipient of the Grand prix des lectrices de Elle
He is the creator and the manager of grands-reporters.com and has just published a novel, La Tentation d'Antoine (The Temptation of Antoine).
Jean-Paul Mari | Speaker | TED.com