ABOUT THE SPEAKER
C.K. Williams - Poet
Often called a social poet, C.K. Williams was fascinated by the characters of modern civilization and their interactions.

Why you should listen

C.K. Williams started writing poetry at 19, after taking only his required English classes at University of Pennsylvania. In the 1960s, he began gearing his poems toward social issues, such as the brutality that  civil rights activists often faced and his anti-war stance with respect to Vietnam. Over time, although he continued to write about society, his work became more personal. His focus shifted to the intersection of profoundly different lives in crowded urban spaces, using these instances to examine sensitive issues such as race and class.    

The subject matter of his work is not its only controversy, and Williams is often compared to Whitman and Ginsberg because of his unusually long lines of verse. Despite his unconventional poetic form, he was awarded the Pulitzer Prize, the National Book Award and the National Book Critics Circle Award, among other honors. He also published five works of translation and a psychologically introspective memoir, Misgivings: My Mother, My Father, Myself. Williams died in September 2015.

More profile about the speaker
C.K. Williams | Speaker | TED.com
TED2001

C.K. Williams: Poetry of youth and age

C.K.威廉姆斯(Charles Kenneth Williams) 關於年輕與年老的詩歌

Filmed:
290,397 views

詩人C.K.威廉姆斯(Charles Kenneth Williams) 在2001年的TED論壇上,朗讀自己的詩作。他的作品充滿了多彩的畫面,有童年鬧的脾氣、大學的戀人、怪癖的鄰居,還有消逝的青春,提醒我們生活中那些獨特的機遇。
- Poet
Often called a social poet, C.K. Williams was fascinated by the characters of modern civilization and their interactions. Full bio

Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.

00:12
I thought I would read poems I have that relate涉及 to the subject學科
0
0
3000
我想要讀一些和這個主題相關的詩
00:15
of youth青年 and age年齡.
1
3000
3000
關於年輕與年老
00:18
I was sort分類 of astonished驚訝 to find out how many許多 I have actually其實.
2
6000
3000
有些吃驚,我才發覺我寫了不少
00:21
The first one is dedicated專用 to
3
9000
2000
第一首是獻給
00:23
Spencer斯賓塞, and his grandmother祖母, who was shocked吃驚 by his work.
4
11000
6000
斯潘塞(Spencer),以及他的祖母,她被他的作品給嚇壞了。
00:29
My poem is called "Dirt污垢."
5
17000
3000
這首詩的題目是:灰塵
00:32
My grandmother祖母 is washing洗滌 my mouth out with soap肥皂;
6
20000
4000
我的祖母正用肥皂刷我的嘴
00:36
half a long century世紀 gone走了
7
24000
2000
半個世紀過去了
00:38
and still she comes at me
8
26000
2000
而今她仍到我面前
00:40
with that thick cruel殘忍 yellow黃色 bar酒吧.
9
28000
3000
帶著那塊又厚又殘忍的黃肥皂
00:43
All because of a word I said,
10
31000
3000
就因為我說的一個字
00:46
not even said really, only repeated重複.
11
34000
3000
其實也不是說,只是重複
00:49
But "Open打開," she says, "open打開 up!"
12
37000
2000
但是,「張嘴!」她說道:「張開嘴!」
00:51
her hand clawing at my head.
13
39000
4000
她用手抓住我的頭
00:55
I know now her life was hard;
14
43000
2000
現在我知道她當時的生活艱苦
00:57
she lost丟失 three children孩子 as babies嬰兒,
15
45000
3000
她失去了三個還在襁褓中的孩子
01:00
then her husband丈夫 died死亡 too,
16
48000
2000
然後她丈夫也掛了
01:02
leaving離開 young年輕 sons兒子, and no money.
17
50000
3000
沒有錢,就留下幾個年幼的兒子。
01:05
She'd stand me in the sink水槽 to pee撒尿
18
53000
2000
她把着我在洗碗槽裡尿尿
01:07
because there was never room房間 in the toilet廁所.
19
55000
3000
因為廁所裡沒位置了
01:10
But oh, her soap肥皂!
20
58000
2000
可是,噢!她的肥皂!
01:12
Might威力 its bitter burning燃燒 have been
21
60000
2000
大概就是這苦苦的灼燒
01:14
what made製作 me a poet詩人?
22
62000
3000
讓我成了一名詩人?
01:17
The street she lived生活 on was unpaved未鋪砌,
23
65000
3000
她住的那條街路面沒有鋪砌
01:20
her flat平面, two cramped狹窄 rooms客房 and a fetid有惡臭的 kitchen廚房
24
68000
3000
她的公寓,兩間房間擁擠狹小,廚房惡臭四溢
01:23
where she stalked大步 and caught抓住 me.
25
71000
3000
她總在那裡盯著我,逮到我
01:26
Dare I admit承認 that after she did it
26
74000
3000
我敢承認嗎?在她那麼對我之後
01:29
I never really loved喜愛 her again?
27
77000
3000
我再也不曾愛她了
01:32
She lived生活 to a hundred,
28
80000
2000
她活到了一百歲
01:34
even then. All along沿 it was the sadness, the squalor骯髒,
29
82000
5000
即便那時,都還是傷心,邋遢
01:39
but I never, until直到 now
30
87000
2000
但直到如今,我依然無法
01:41
loved喜愛 her again.
31
89000
4000
再次愛她
01:45
When that was published發表 in a magazine雜誌
32
93000
2000
這首詩刊登在雜誌上的時候
01:47
I got an irate發怒的 letter from my uncle叔叔.
33
95000
4000
我叔叔寄了封充滿憤怒的信給我。
01:51
"You have maligned非議 a great woman女人."
34
99000
6000
「你詆毀了一位偉大的女性。」
01:57
It took some diplomacy外交.
35
105000
6000
我還得圓滑地應付一下
02:03
This is called "The Dress連衣裙."
36
111000
2000
接著這首詩叫作「家居服」
02:05
It's a longer poem.
37
113000
2000
是一首長詩
02:07
In those days,
38
115000
2000
那些日子裏
02:09
those days which哪一個 exist存在 for me only
39
117000
2000
在那些僅為我而存在
02:11
as the most elusive難以捉摸 memory記憶 now,
40
119000
3000
如今成了最為曖昧不明的記憶的日子裏
02:14
when often經常 the first sound聲音 you'd hear in the morning早上
41
122000
3000
當清晨時分往往你最先聽到的
02:17
would be a storm風暴 of birdsong鳥鳴聲,
42
125000
2000
是一陣鳥囀的轟鳴,
02:19
then the soft柔軟的 clop of the hooves
43
127000
2000
然後是輕柔的蹄踏聲
02:21
of the horse hauling牽引 a milk牛奶 wagon車皮 down your block,
44
129000
4000
馬兒拉著運送牛奶的四輪車來到你的街區
02:25
and the last sound聲音 at night as likely容易 as not
45
133000
3000
而晚間最後的聲響則多半
02:28
would be your father父親 pulling up in his car汽車,
46
136000
3000
來自你正在停車的父親
02:31
having worked工作 late晚了 again, always late晚了,
47
139000
3000
又一次工作晚歸,總是如此
02:34
and going heavily嚴重 down to the cellar地窖, to the furnace,
48
142000
3000
步伐沉重地往地窖,朝火爐走去
02:37
to shake out the ashes灰燼 and damp潮濕 the draft草案
49
145000
3000
將爐灰抖落,闔上進氣口
02:40
before he came來了 upstairs樓上 to fall秋季 into bed --
50
148000
4000
在他上樓倒向床鋪以前
02:44
in those long-ago很久以前 days,
51
152000
2000
那些遙遠的日子裏
02:46
women婦女, my mother母親, my friends'朋友' mothers母親,
52
154000
3000
女人,我的母親、朋友的母親們、
02:49
our neighbors鄰居, all the women婦女 I knew知道 --
53
157000
3000
旁鄰,所有我知道的女性
02:52
wore穿著, often經常 much of the day,
54
160000
2000
幾乎成天穿著
02:54
what were called housedresses起居服,
55
162000
2000
被稱為家居服的洋裝
02:56
cheap低廉, printed印刷的, pulpy稀爛,
56
164000
2000
廉價、印花、質地欠佳
02:58
seemingly似乎 purposefully目的地 shapeless無形的
57
166000
3000
像是刻意掩藏身形似地
03:01
light cotton shifts轉變 that you wore穿著 over your nightgown睡衣
58
169000
3000
套在睡衣外的薄棉直筒連身裙
03:04
and, when you had to go look for a child兒童,
59
172000
3000
好讓妳在必須照顧孩子時換上
03:07
hang wash on the line,
60
175000
2000
晾衣時換上
03:09
or run down to the grocery雜貨 store商店 on the corner,
61
177000
3000
或在跑向街角雜貨店的時候
03:12
under a coat塗層,
62
180000
2000
穿在大衣底下,
03:14
the twisted扭曲 hem下擺 of the nightgown睡衣
63
182000
2000
睡袍的蜷曲鑲邊
03:16
always lank平直 and yellowed泛黃,
64
184000
2000
總是過長而泛黃的,
03:18
dangling懸空 beneath下面.
65
186000
3000
垂擺著
03:21
More than the curlers捲髮器 some of the women婦女
66
189000
2000
簡直比某些女性
03:23
seemed似乎 constantly經常 to have in their hair頭髮
67
191000
3000
為了某些重要場合 -- 好比一場舞會
03:26
in preparation製備 for some great event事件 --
68
194000
2000
而精心處理的髮捲
03:28
a ball, one would think --
69
196000
2000
更蜷曲得多
03:30
that never came來了 to pass通過;
70
198000
2000
儘管這從未發生
03:32
more than the way most women's女士的 faces面孔
71
200000
2000
那也比大多數女人
03:34
not only were never made製作 up during the day,
72
202000
3000
不化妝時
03:37
but seemed似乎 scraped, bleached漂白,
73
205000
3000
顯得粗糙、慘澹的肌膚
03:40
and, with their plucked撥弦 eyebrows眉毛, scarilyscarily masklikemasklike;
74
208000
3000
並且剃去眉毛的臉龐還更嚇人,更像面具;
03:43
more than all that it was those dresses禮服
75
211000
4000
真正可怕的是,正是這些家居服
03:47
that made製作 women婦女 so unknowable不可知 and forbidding森嚴,
76
215000
3000
使女人變得如此平庸並且難以親近
03:50
adepts行家 of enigmas to which哪一個 men男人 could have no access訪問,
77
218000
4000
以致於成為男人眼中不能傾心
03:54
and boys男孩 no conception概念.
78
222000
4000
在男孩眼裡毫無遐想的女性
03:58
Only later後來 would I see the dresses禮服 also
79
226000
3000
直到後來我才認識到那服裝
04:01
as a proclamation公告:
80
229000
2000
也代表這樣的宣言
04:03
that in your dim暗淡 kitchen廚房, your laundry洗衣店,
81
231000
4000
在妳微暗的廚房裏、衣服堆中
04:07
your bleak蒼涼 concrete具體 yard,
82
235000
2000
在妳不蔽風雨的水泥後院
04:09
what you revealed透露 of yourself你自己
83
237000
2000
妳所發掘出的
04:11
was a fabulationfabulation;
84
239000
2000
是屬於妳的美好國度
04:13
your real真實 sensual聲色 nature性質,
85
241000
2000
妳那真實的感受天性
04:15
veiled含蓄 in those sexless性冷感的 vestments法衣,
86
243000
3000
即使被毫無生氣的樣板服裝掩藏著
04:18
was utterly完全 your dominion主權.
87
246000
3000
依然全是妳轄下的領土
04:21
In those days, one hid much else其他 as well:
88
249000
4000
那些日子裏,我們同樣掩藏了另外一些事
04:25
grown長大的 men男人 didn't embrace擁抱 one another另一個,
89
253000
2000
成年之後男人不再擁抱彼此
04:27
unless除非 someone有人 had died死亡,
90
255000
2000
除了在某人死去的場合
04:29
and not always then; you shook震撼 hands
91
257000
3000
但也不總是如此。你們只是握手
04:32
or, at a ball game遊戲, thumped完胜 your friend's朋友的 back
92
260000
3000
或在一場球賽中用力地槌打朋友的背
04:35
and exchanged交換 blows打擊 meant意味著 to be codes代碼 for affection感情;
93
263000
4000
或是互賞兩拳以示彼此情誼深厚;
04:39
once一旦 out of childhood童年 you'd never again know
94
267000
3000
只是一旦遠離了童年你便不再記得
04:42
the shock休克 of your father's父親的 whiskers晶須 on your cheek臉頰,
95
270000
3000
父親的鬍渣磨過臉頰時內心激起的騷動
04:45
not until直到 mores習俗 at last had evolved進化,
96
273000
4000
直到你的終於歷經了一些事
04:49
and you could hug擁抱 another另一個 man, then hold保持 on for a moment時刻,
97
277000
3000
又能再輕擁另一個男人,維持片刻
04:52
then even kiss (your fathers父親 bristles刷毛
98
280000
3000
甚至吻頰
04:55
white白色 and stiff僵硬 now).
99
283000
3000
(這時你父親的鬍渣已經硬而花白了)
04:58
What release發布 finally最後, the embrace擁抱:
100
286000
3000
最後是深深的擁抱
05:01
though雖然 we were wary警惕 -- it seemed似乎 so audacious膽大 --
101
289000
4000
儘管仍有些不自在──這舉動看來如此魯莽──
05:05
how much unspoken joy喜悅 there was
102
293000
2000
在這樣親密的情感交融中
05:07
in that affirmation肯定 of equality平等 and communion交往,
103
295000
3000
溢於言表的喜悅將有多少?
05:10
no matter how much misunderstanding誤解
104
298000
4000
自那時起你所經歷過的一切
05:14
and pain疼痛 had passed通過 between之間 you by then.
105
302000
4000
誤解和痛楚都無關緊要了
05:18
We knew知道 so little in those days,
106
306000
3000
那些日子裏,我們幾近一無所知
05:21
as little as now, I suppose假設
107
309000
2000
一如此刻,我猜想
05:23
about healing復原 those hurts傷害:
108
311000
2000
關於療愈傷痛的方式:
05:25
even the women婦女, in their best最好 dresses禮服,
109
313000
3000
即使女人都穿上了她們最好的洋裝
05:28
with beads and sequins亮片 sewn縫製 on the bodices緊身衣,
110
316000
3000
上身綴飾著珠子和亮片
05:31
even in lipstick口紅 and mascara睫毛膏,
111
319000
2000
甚至塗上口紅和睫毛膏,
05:33
their hair頭髮 aflowaflow,
112
321000
2000
秀髮迎風飄揚,
05:35
could only stand wringing搥胸頓足 their hands,
113
323000
2000
卻也只能痛心地緊握雙手
05:37
begging乞討 for peace和平,
114
325000
2000
一心乞求寧靜
05:39
while father父親 and son兒子, like thugs打手,
115
327000
2000
因為那時的父親和孩子就像是無賴
05:41
like thieves盜賊, like Romans羅馬書,
116
329000
3000
像是小偷、像古羅馬人那樣
05:44
simmered and hissed發出噓聲 and hated,
117
332000
2000
令人髮指、生怨、厭恨
05:46
inflicting造成 sorrows悲傷 that endured忍受,
118
334000
3000
強加她們以
05:49
the worst最差 anyway無論如何,
119
337000
2000
無比的哀愁
05:51
through通過 the kiss and embrace擁抱,
120
339000
2000
透過那吻頰、擁抱
05:53
bleeding流血的 from brother哥哥 to brother哥哥,
121
341000
2000
在兄弟間流淌
05:55
into the generations.
122
343000
3000
流傳世代。
05:58
In those days there was still countryside農村
123
346000
3000
那些日子裏仍有鄰近城市的鄉間
06:01
close to the city, farms農場, cornfields玉米田, cows奶牛;
124
349000
4000
農莊、玉米田、牛群;
06:05
even not far from our building建造
125
353000
2000
甚至離我們居住的地方不遠
06:07
with its blurred模糊 brick and long shadowy神出鬼沒 hallway門廳
126
355000
3000
那兒有久未修葺的磚頭和有蔭的長廊
06:10
you could find tracts大片 with hills丘陵 and trees樹木
127
358000
3000
你得以發現大片的山丘與樹林
06:13
you could pretend假裝 were mountains and forests森林.
128
361000
4000
你可以假裝自己發現了高山和森林
06:17
Or you could go out by yourself你自己
129
365000
2000
你也可以獨自外出
06:19
even to a half-block-long半個街區長 empty lot,
130
367000
3000
甚至到半個街區外的一塊空曠處
06:22
into the bushes灌木叢: like a creature生物 of leaves樹葉 you'd lurk匿伏,
131
370000
4000
鑽入矮叢裏──像一隻林裏的野獸隱密前進
06:26
crouched蹲在, crawling爬行, simplified, savage野蠻人, alone單獨;
132
374000
5000
蜷伏著、爬行著、原始、野蠻、而形隻影單;
06:31
already已經 there was wanting希望 to be simpler簡單,
133
379000
4000
有一股回歸原始的渴望,
06:35
wanting希望, when they called you,
134
383000
3000
渴望著,當他們呼喚你,
06:38
never to go back.
135
386000
4000
也永遠不要回去。
06:42
(Applause掌聲)
136
390000
11000
(掌聲)
06:53
This is another另一個 longish稍長 one,
137
401000
2000
接下來也是一首長詩
06:55
about the old and the young年輕.
138
403000
3000
關於年長和還年輕的人
06:58
It actually其實 happened發生 right at the time we met會見.
139
406000
2000
這實際上發生在我和他相遇的那段時間
07:00
Part部分 of the poem takes place地點 in
140
408000
4000
這首詩的部份發生在
07:04
space空間 we shared共享 and time we shared共享.
141
412000
3000
我們曾共享的場所與時間裏
07:07
It's called "The Neighbor鄰居."
142
415000
2000
詩名是「鄰人」
07:09
Her five horrid可怕的, deformed變形 little dogs小狗
143
417000
4000
她那五隻惹人厭,醜陋不堪的狗
07:13
who incessantly不已 yap on the roof屋頂 under my window窗口.
144
421000
4000
不斷地在我窗戶下方的屋頂狂吠
07:17
Her cats, God knows知道 how many許多,
145
425000
2000
她的貓 -- 天曉得有多少隻
07:19
who must必須 piss小便 on her rugs地毯 --
146
427000
2000
一定都尿在她的地毯上,
07:21
her landing's降落的 a sickening令人作嘔 reek腐臭.
147
429000
3000
她的樓梯平台散發出令人作嘔的晦氣
07:24
Her shadow陰影 once一旦, fumbling摸索 the chain on her door,
148
432000
4000
笨拙摸索著門鎖的影子
07:28
then the door slamming猛擊 fearfully可怕 shut關閉,
149
436000
3000
因害怕而緊閉著的門
07:31
only the barking叫聲 and the music音樂 -- jazz爵士樂 --
150
439000
3000
只有動物的聲音和爵士的調子
07:34
filtering濾波 as it does, day and night into the hall大廳.
151
442000
5000
如以往不停地飄入(我和她的)客廳
07:39
The time it was Chris克里斯 Connor康納 singing唱歌 "Lush青蔥的 Life" --
152
447000
3000
那時播的是Chris Connor所演唱的"Lush Life"
07:42
how it brought back my college學院 sweetheart愛人,
153
450000
3000
令我深深思念起我大學時代的戀人
07:45
my first real真實 love, who -- till直到 I left her --
154
453000
4000
我初戀的摯愛,
07:49
played發揮 the same相同 record記錄.
155
457000
2000
直到我離開她時 她都放著這首歌
07:51
And head on my shoulder, hand on my thigh大腿,
156
459000
4000
頭枕著我的肩 手搭著我的腿
07:55
sang sweetly甜蜜 along沿, of regrets遺憾 and depletions枯竭
157
463000
4000
低聲唱和著,悔恨和逝去
07:59
she was too young年輕 for,
158
467000
2000
那是她太年輕所無法承擔,
08:01
as I was too young年輕, later後來, to believe in her pain疼痛.
159
469000
4000
而我太年輕所無法相信的,她的痛楚。
08:05
It startled, then bored無聊, then repelled擊退 me.
160
473000
5000
痛苦讓我驚愕,讓我煩悶,最後驅逐了我。
08:10
My starting開始 to fancy幻想 she'd ended結束 up in this fire-trap火焰陷阱
161
478000
3000
我開始幻想 她在這個小村中出現
08:13
in the Village, that my neighbor鄰居 was her.
162
481000
3000
成為我的鄰居
08:16
My thinking思維 we'd星期三 meet遇到, recognize認識 one another另一個,
163
484000
3000
我臆想著我們相遇,認出對方,
08:19
become成為 friends朋友, that I'd accomplish完成 a penance苦修.
164
487000
4000
成為朋友,而我也將完成贖罪。
08:23
My seeing眼看 her, it wasn't her, at the mailbox郵箱.
165
491000
5000
我看著她,在郵箱旁的,不是她。
08:28
Gray-yellow灰黃色 hair頭髮, army軍隊 pants褲子 under a nightgown睡衣,
166
496000
4000
灰黃的頭髮,睡衣下穿著軍褲,
08:32
her turning車削 away, hiding her ravaged蹂躪 face面對
167
500000
3000
她轉過身,以手遮住
08:35
in her hands, muttering咕噥 an inappropriate不當 "Hi你好."
168
503000
5000
滿是皺摺的臉,不自然地呢喃著:“ 嗨。“
08:40
Sometimes有時 there are frightening可怕的 goings-on事情上, in the stairwell樓梯間.
169
508000
4000
偶爾樓梯井裡會發生一些恐怖的事情。
08:44
A man shouting叫喊, "Shut關閉 up!" The dogs小狗 frantically瘋狂 snarling,
170
512000
4000
男人吼道:“閉嘴!“ 狗則開始狂吠,
08:48
claws scrabbling抓撓, then her -- her voice語音
171
516000
3000
爪子瘋狂的撓,然後是她 -- 她的聲音
08:51
hoarse嘶啞, harsh苛刻, hollow空洞,
172
519000
2000
嘶啞的,低沉的,空洞的,
08:53
almost幾乎 only a tone,
173
521000
2000
僅是一聲
08:55
incoherent顛三倒四, a note注意, a squawk發牢騷,
174
523000
3000
不連貫的,音符,怪叫
08:58
bone on metal金屬, metal金屬 gone走了 molten熔融,
175
526000
2000
撞在金屬上,金屬也因之熔化了,
09:00
calling調用 them back,
176
528000
2000
叫著他們回來,
09:02
"Come back darlings寵兒, come back dear ones那些.
177
530000
3000
“回來親愛的,回來親愛的。
09:05
My sweet angels天使, come back."
178
533000
4000
我心愛的天使們,回來。“
09:09
Medea美狄亞 she was, next下一個 time I saw her.
179
537000
3000
再次見到她時,她化身爲美狄亞。
09:12
Sorceress巫婆, tranced變身。, ecstatic欣喜若狂,
180
540000
3000
女巫般,恍惚地,欣喜若狂,
09:15
stock-still靜止的 on the sidewalk人行道
181
543000
2000
呆立在人行道上
09:17
ragged破爛 coat塗層 hanging agape純愛,
182
545000
3000
衣衫襤褸披掛,
09:20
passersby路人 flowing流動 around her,
183
548000
2000
行人從她身旁流過,
09:22
her mouth torn撕裂 suddenly突然 open打開
184
550000
2000
她的嘴突然張大
09:24
as though雖然 in a scream驚叫,
185
552000
2000
像要驚聲尖叫,
09:26
silently默默 though雖然, as though雖然 only in her brain
186
554000
3000
儘管未曾出聲,彷彿恐怖只在她腦中
09:29
or breast乳房 had it erupted爆發.
187
557000
2000
或胸中噴發。
09:31
A cry so pure, practiced, detached超脫,
188
559000
4000
純粹,熟練,而超然的吶喊,
09:35
it had no need of a voice語音,
189
563000
3000
不需出聲,
09:38
or could no longer bear one.
190
566000
2000
或已無法再出聲。
09:40
These invisible無形 links鏈接 that allure引誘,
191
568000
3000
不可見的羈絆吸引著
09:43
these transfigurationstransfigurations, even of anguish痛苦, that hold保持 us.
192
571000
5000
這些變遷,就算是痛苦也同樣聯繫著我們。
09:48
The girl女孩, my old love,
193
576000
2000
那個我從前深愛的女孩,
09:50
the last lost丟失 time I saw her
194
578000
2000
最後一次見面
09:52
when she came來了 to find me at a party派對,
195
580000
3000
是在一場派對裡,
09:55
her drunkenly忘情 stumbling絆腳, falling落下,
196
583000
2000
她過來找我,喝得爛醉如泥,
09:57
sprawling蔓延, skirt短裙 hiked上調, eyes眼睛 veined red,
197
585000
4000
腳步歪倒,衣衫不整,兩眼充血,
10:01
swollen with tears眼淚, her shame恥辱,
198
589000
3000
紅腫的眼框裡,是淚,是愧,
10:04
her dishonor羞辱.
199
592000
2000
是悔。
10:06
My ignorant愚昧, arrogant傲慢 coarseness粗糙,
200
594000
3000
出於無知,自大和粗野,
10:09
my secret秘密 pride自豪, my turning車削 away.
201
597000
4000
我不爲人知的傲慢,我轉身離去。
10:13
Still life on a rooftop屋頂,
202
601000
2000
屋頂上的靜物,
10:15
dead trees樹木 in barrels, a bench長凳 broken破碎,
203
603000
4000
桶中的枯樹,壞掉的長椅,
10:19
dogs小狗, excrement糞便, sky天空.
204
607000
2000
狗,排泄物,天空。
10:21
What pathways途徑 through通過 pain疼痛,
205
609000
2000
什麼能帶領我穿越痛苦,
10:23
what junctures關頭 of vulnerability漏洞,
206
611000
3000
什麼時刻是穿越脆弱的關頭,
10:26
what crossings道口 and counteringscounterings?
207
614000
2000
什麼會交會,什麼又會背道而馳?
10:28
Too many許多 lives生活 in our lives生活 already已經,
208
616000
3000
我們的生活中已經存在太多的生命,
10:31
too many許多 chances機會 for sorrow悲哀,
209
619000
2000
太多讓我們體驗痛苦的機會,
10:33
too many許多 unaccounted-for不明確的 pasts的過去.
210
621000
3000
太多下落不明的過去。
10:36
"Behold看哪 me," the god of frenzied喪心病狂,
211
624000
2000
“看著我,“ 那狂暴的,
10:38
inexhaustible取之不盡,用之不竭 love says,
212
626000
3000
無盡愛意之神,
10:41
rising升起 in bloody血腥 splendor, "Behold看哪 me."
213
629000
5000
帶著一身鮮血淋漓的輝煌說:“看著我。“
10:46
Her making製造 her way
214
634000
2000
她一路向前
10:48
down the littered散落 vestibule前廳 stairs樓梯,
215
636000
2000
去到髒亂的門廊階梯
10:50
one agonized苦澀 step at a time.
216
638000
3000
每一步都痛苦不堪。
10:53
My holding保持 the door.
217
641000
2000
我把著門。
10:55
Her crossing路口 the fragmented支離破碎 tiles瓷磚,
218
643000
2000
她穿過破散的瓷磚,
10:57
faltering步履蹣跚 at the step to the street,
219
645000
3000
在走向街頭的方向支吾著,
11:00
droning嗡嗡, not looking at me,
220
648000
2000
低聲的說著,但沒有看著我,
11:02
"Can you help me?"
221
650000
2000
“能幫我一把嗎?“
11:04
Taking my arm, leaning lightly輕輕 against反對 me.
222
652000
4000
扶著我的手臂,輕輕地靠著我。
11:08
Her wavering搖擺不定 step into the world世界.
223
656000
3000
她搖晃著腳步踏進這個世界。
11:11
Her whispering耳語, "Thanks謝謝 love." Lightly輕輕, lightly輕輕 against反對 me.
224
659000
9000
她低聲呢喃著:“謝謝你,親愛的。“ 輕輕地,輕輕地,對著我。
11:20
(Applause掌聲)
225
668000
9000
(掌聲)
11:29
I think I'll lighten減輕 up a little.
226
677000
2000
我想我應該讓氣氛愉悅一點
11:31
(Laughter笑聲)
227
679000
2000
(笑)
11:33
Another另一個, different不同 kind of poem of youth青年 and age年齡.
228
681000
4000
另一首 很不同的有關年輕與老的詩
11:37
It's called "Gas加油站."
229
685000
2000
氣體
11:39
(Laughter笑聲)
230
687000
2000
11:41
Wouldn't豈不 it be nice不錯, I think,
231
689000
2000
這不是很棒嗎?我想,
11:43
when the blue-haired藍發 lady淑女 in the doctor's醫生 waiting等候 room房間
232
691000
3000
當一位藍髮女郎
11:46
bends彎曲 over the magazine雜誌 table
233
694000
3000
正在候診室彎身向雜誌架時
11:49
and farts放屁, just a little,
234
697000
2000
放了屁,就一點點,
11:51
and violently猛烈 blushes臉紅.
235
699000
3000
變得滿臉通紅。
11:54
Wouldn't豈不 it be nice不錯 if intestinal gas加油站
236
702000
2000
假如這腸道的氣體
11:56
came來了 embodied體現 in visible可見 clouds,
237
704000
3000
在空氣裡變成肉眼可見的話,那不是很棒嗎?
11:59
so she could see that her really quite相當 inoffensive無害 pop流行的
238
707000
3000
如此一來她就會看見她那不甚擾人的爆裂
12:02
had only barely僅僅 grazed擦過 my face面對
239
710000
2000
只不過是輕輕掠過了我的臉龐
12:04
before it drifted漂流 away.
240
712000
2000
就在它飄散開去之前。
12:06
(Laughter笑聲)
241
714000
2000
(笑)
12:08
Besides除了, for this to have happened發生 now
242
716000
2000
此外,現在這個狀況
12:10
is a nice不錯 coincidence巧合. Because not an hour小時 ago,
243
718000
3000
正巧是一個美妙的巧合。因為就在不到一個小時之前,
12:13
while we were on our walk步行,
244
721000
2000
在我們散步途中,
12:15
my dog was startled by a backfire逆火
245
723000
2000
我的狗被一輛車子的逆火聲所驚
12:17
and jumped跳下 straight直行 up like a horse bucking屈曲.
246
725000
3000
嚇得直跳了起來,活像匹馬拱背似的。
12:20
And that brought back to me the stable穩定
247
728000
2000
這也讓我想起了童年的馬廄
12:22
I worked工作 on weekends週末 when I was 12,
248
730000
2000
我12歲的時候每逢週末就在那裡打工,
12:24
and a splendid燦爛 piebald stallion,
249
732000
3000
有匹花色種馬,
12:27
who whenever每當 he was mounted安裝 would buck降壓 just like that,
250
735000
3000
每逢上了鞍就會像那樣拱背蹦起,
12:30
though雖然 more hugely巨大 of course課程,
251
738000
3000
當然動作更劇烈,
12:33
enormous巨大, gleaming閃閃發光的, resplendent燦爛.
252
741000
2000
巨大,閃耀,且輝煌。
12:35
And the woman女人, her face面對 abashedlyabashedly buried隱藏
253
743000
3000
而那位困窘地把頭埋進《Elle》裡的女郎,
12:38
in her "Elle艾麗" now, reminded提醒 me --
254
746000
2000
則讓我想起了 --
12:40
I'd forgotten忘記了 that not the least最小 part部分 of my awe威嚴
255
748000
3000
我已然忘記的我最畏懼的事情
12:43
consisted of the fact事實 that with every一切 jump he took
256
751000
4000
就是那花馬每跳一下
12:47
the horse would powerfully有力 fart.
257
755000
2000
都會用力的放屁
12:49
PhwapPhwap! PhwapPhwap! PhwapPhwap!
258
757000
2000
噗!噗!噗!
12:51
Something never mentioned提到
259
759000
2000
這件事是
12:53
in the dozens許多 of books圖書 about horses馬匹
260
761000
2000
在任何一本跟馬有關的書裡,
12:55
and their riders車手 I devoured吞噬 in those days.
261
763000
3000
或那些我熟知騎手們都不曾提到過的。
12:58
All that savage野蠻人 grandeur富麗堂皇,
262
766000
3000
所有野蠻雄偉,
13:01
the steely鋼鐵般 glinting閃閃發光 hooves,
263
769000
2000
發光的鐵蹄
13:03
the eruptions爆發 driven驅動 from the creature's生物 mighty威武 innards內臟,
264
771000
4000
從那生物全能的內臟而來的能量爆發,
13:07
breath呼吸 stopped停止, heart stopped停止, nostrils鼻孔 madly發狂 flared喇叭形,
265
775000
5000
呼吸停止,心跳停止,鼻孔瘋狂噴氣,
13:12
I didn't know if I wanted to break打破 him, or be him.
266
780000
5000
我不知道我是想打斷他,還是成為他。
13:17
(Laughter笑聲)
267
785000
2000
(笑聲)
13:19
(Applause掌聲)
268
787000
7000
(鼓掌)
13:29
This is called "Thirst口渴."
269
797000
5000
現在這首詩叫作「渴」
13:34
Many許多 -- most of my poems actually其實
270
802000
2000
我的許多──絕大多數的詩其實是
13:36
are urban城市的 poems. I happen發生 to be reading a bunch that aren't.
271
804000
4000
城市詩。我現在要念一首則恰好不是
13:40
"Thirst口渴."
272
808000
2000
「渴」
13:42
Here was my relation關係 with the woman女人 who lived生活 all last autumn秋季 and winter冬季,
273
810000
4000
接下來是我與一位去年秋冬不分日夜
13:46
day and night, on a bench長凳
274
814000
2000
都生活在地鐵103 街站
13:48
in the 103rdRD Street subway地鐵 station,
275
816000
3000
一張長凳上的女性的關係,
13:51
until直到 finally最後 one day she vanished消失.
276
819000
3000
直到某天她消失為止。
13:54
We regarded認為 each other, scrutinized審查 one another另一個.
277
822000
4000
我們互相打量,仔細審視對方。
13:58
Me shyly害羞地, obliquely, trying not to be furtive鬼鬼祟祟.
278
826000
4000
我膽怯而拙劣地,想要顯得不那麼偷偷摸摸。
14:02
She boldly大膽, unblinkingly一眨不眨, even pugnaciouslypugnaciously,
279
830000
4000
她則大膽,目不轉睛,甚挑釁好戰地,
14:06
wrathfully忿忿 even, when her bottle瓶子 was empty.
280
834000
5000
當她的酒瓶乾涸時,甚至是暴怒的。
14:11
I was frightened受驚 of her. I felt like a child兒童.
281
839000
3000
我被她嚇壞了。覺得自己就像個小孩似的。
14:14
I was afraid害怕 some repressed壓抑 part部分 of myself
282
842000
3000
我害怕我那些被壓抑的部份
14:17
would go out of control控制, and I'd be forever永遠 entrapped包埋
283
845000
3000
會不受控制傾巢而出,而我將永遠
14:20
in the shocking觸目驚心 seethe沸騰 of her stench惡臭.
284
848000
4000
被禁錮在她那惡臭四溢的驚人水域中。
14:24
Not excrement糞便 merely僅僅, not merely僅僅 surface表面
285
852000
3000
不僅是排泄物,不僅是表皮
14:27
and orifice going unwashed沒洗過,
286
855000
2000
身上的毛孔也將變得不潔淨,
14:29
rediffusion麗的呼聲 of rum朗姆酒,
287
857000
2000
蘭姆酒將
14:31
there was will in it,
288
859000
2000
會填滿這些孔穴,
14:33
and intention意向, power功率 and purpose目的 --
289
861000
2000
還有意圖,力量,目的,
14:35
a social社會, ethical合乎道德的 rage憤怒 and rebellion暴動 --
290
863000
4000
一個社會,倫理的憤怒和反抗,
14:39
despair絕望 too, though雖然, grief哀思, loss失利.
291
867000
5000
還有失望,悲痛,失落。
14:44
Sometimes有時 I'd think I should take her home with me,
292
872000
2000
有時候我覺得應該帶她一起回家,
14:46
bathe洗澡 her, comfort安慰 her, dress連衣裙 her.
293
874000
3000
讓她洗澡,安撫她,梳理打扮她。
14:49
She wouldn't不會 have wanted me to, I would think.
294
877000
3000
我又覺得,她大概不會希望我那樣做。
14:52
Instead代替, I'd step into my train培養.
295
880000
3000
於是乎,我會踏進我等待的列車。
14:55
How rich豐富 I would think, is the lexicon詞庫
296
883000
3000
我心想,我們自我開脫的辭彙表
14:58
of our self-absolving自我開脫.
297
886000
2000
是多麼的豐富啊!
15:00
How enduring持久, our bland平淡 fatal致命 assurance保證
298
888000
3000
我們反映正義被確實執行的
15:03
that reflection反射 is righteousness being存在 accomplished完成.
299
891000
5000
乏味而致命的保證,又是多麼持久。
15:08
The dance舞蹈 of our glances眼神,
300
896000
2000
我們的眼波流轉,
15:10
the clash衝突, pulling each other through通過
301
898000
3000
交鋒,讓彼此經歷了
15:13
our perceptual知覺的 punctures穿刺,
302
901000
2000
感知的衝撞穿刺,
15:15
then holocaust大屠殺, holocaust大屠殺,
303
903000
2000
和隨之而來的大毀滅,巨大毀滅。
15:17
host主辦 on host主辦 of ill生病, injured受傷 presences派駐,
304
905000
4000
寄居於眾多病源之上,殘破的存在,
15:21
squandered揮霍, consumed消費.
305
909000
4000
浪擲,揮霍。
15:25
Her vigil守夜 somewhere某處 I know continues繼續.
306
913000
3000
我知道她仍在某處繼續著她的守夜儀式。
15:28
Her occupancy佔用, her absolute絕對, faithful可信 attendance.
307
916000
5000
她盤據著,她會絕對忠實的出席。
15:33
The dance舞蹈 of our glances眼神, challenge挑戰, abdication退位,
308
921000
4000
我們的眼波流轉,質疑,退卻,
15:37
effacement抹殺, the perfume香水 of our consternation驚愕.
309
925000
7000
消失,僅留下彼此驚愕的氣息。
15:44
(Applause掌聲)
310
932000
7000
(掌聲)
15:52
This is a newer poem, a brand new poem.
311
940000
4000
這是新作的一首詩。
15:56
The title標題 is "This Happened正巧."
312
944000
3000
題目是「有過這樣的事」
15:59
A student學生, a young年輕 woman女人
313
947000
3000
一位年輕的女學生
16:02
in a fourth-floor四樓 hallway門廳 of her lycee公立中學,
314
950000
3000
在學校的 4 樓的門廳,
16:05
perched棲息 on the ledge窗台 of an open打開 window窗口
315
953000
2000
棲息於洞開的窗台邊緣
16:07
chatting聊天的 with friends朋友 between之間 classes;
316
955000
4000
在下課時間跟朋友聊著天;
16:11
a teacher老師 passes通行證 and chides責罵 her,
317
959000
2000
老師路過時告誡她,
16:13
"Be careful小心, you might威力 fall秋季,"
318
961000
2000
“當心!妳可能會摔下去,“
16:15
almost幾乎 banteringly半開玩笑 chides責罵 her,
319
963000
3000
用近乎戲謔的方式勸誡她,
16:18
"You might威力 fall秋季,"
320
966000
2000
“妳可能會摔下去,“
16:20
and the young年輕 woman女人, 18, a girl女孩 really,
321
968000
3000
而那名女子,年方十八,還不過是個女孩,
16:23
though雖然 she wouldn't不會 think that,
322
971000
2000
一定未曾想過,
16:25
as brilliant輝煌 as she is, first in her class,
323
973000
3000
如此聰慧,樣樣第一,
16:28
and "Beautiful美麗, too," she's often經常 told,
324
976000
3000
而且常常有人說她“非常漂亮。“
16:31
smiles笑容 back, and leans斜靠 into the open打開 window窗口,
325
979000
4000
笑著回應老師,然後傾身向開著的窗,
16:35
which哪一個 wouldn't不會 even be open打開 if it were winter冬季 --
326
983000
3000
那扇在冬天本不應開啟的窗,
16:38
if it were winter冬季 someone有人 would have closed關閉 it ("Close it!") --
327
986000
4000
在冬天本應有人關上的窗(“關上它!“)
16:42
leans斜靠 into the window窗口, farther更遠, still smiling微笑,
328
990000
4000
微笑著,更加傾身向窗外,
16:46
farther更遠 and farther更遠, though雖然 it takes less time
329
994000
3000
越來越傾斜,電光石火
16:49
than this, really an instant瞬間, and lets讓我們 herself她自己 fall秋季.
330
997000
5000
只不過是一瞬間,她跌出了窗外。
16:54
Herself她自己 fall秋季.
331
1002000
3000
她跌了下去。
16:57
A casual隨便 impulse衝動, a fancy幻想,
332
1005000
3000
不經意的,一個念頭,
17:00
never thought of until直到 now, hardly幾乎不 thought of even now ...
333
1008000
4000
從未被想起,也幾乎不可能被想到...
17:04
No, more than impulse衝動 or fancy幻想,
334
1012000
3000
不,也不是一時的興起,
17:07
the girl女孩 knows知道 what she's doing,
335
1015000
2000
那女孩明白她在做什麽,
17:09
the girl女孩 means手段 something,
336
1017000
2000
那女孩在暗示著些什麽,
17:11
the girl女孩 means手段 to mean,
337
1019000
2000
那女孩是故意的,
17:13
because it occurs發生 to her in that instant瞬間,
338
1021000
3000
由於想法在她腦中靈光乍現,
17:16
that beautiful美麗 or not, bright yes or no,
339
1024000
3000
漂亮與否,聰慧與否,
17:19
she's not who she is,
340
1027000
2000
那都不是她,
17:21
she's not the person she is,
341
1029000
2000
那都不是她自己,
17:23
and the reason原因, she suddenly突然 knows知道,
342
1031000
2000
而她突然明白了原因,
17:25
is that there's been so much premeditation預謀
343
1033000
3000
就是她的所在之處有太多預設,
17:28
where she is, so much plotting繪製 and planning規劃,
344
1036000
3000
太多的籌備和規劃,
17:31
there's hardly幾乎不 a person where she is,
345
1039000
3000
那裡幾乎沒有所謂的個人可言,
17:34
or if there is, it's not her, or not wholly her,
346
1042000
4000
即使有,那也不是她,或者說不是完整的她,
17:38
it's a self inhabited居住, lived生活 in by her,
347
1046000
4000
那個潛藏著,居住在她內心的自我,
17:42
and seemingly似乎 even as she thinks it
348
1050000
2000
看起來就像她所想的一樣
17:44
she knows知道 what's been missing失踪:
349
1052000
2000
她明白究竟遺失了什麼:
17:46
grace恩典,
350
1054000
2000
恩寵,
17:48
not premeditation預謀 but grace恩典,
351
1056000
2000
不是計劃,而是恩寵,
17:50
a kind of being存在 in the world世界 spontaneously自發,
352
1058000
4000
一種自在處身於世界,
17:54
with grace恩典.
353
1062000
2000
的優雅特質。
17:56
WeightfullyWeightfully upon me was the world世界.
354
1064000
3000
重壓我肩頭的是這個世界
17:59
WeightfullyWeightfully this self which哪一個 graced增光 the world世界
355
1067000
3000
這個為世界增添光彩的自我多麼份量十足
18:02
yet然而 never wholly itself本身.
356
1070000
3000
卻不是全然的自我。
18:05
WeightfullyWeightfully this self which哪一個 weighed稱重 upon me,
357
1073000
3000
重壓於我的自我世多麼份量十足,
18:08
the release發布 from which哪一個 is what I desire慾望
358
1076000
3000
從中解脫正是我所渴望
18:11
and what I achieve實現.
359
1079000
2000
是我所追求。
18:13
And the girl女孩 remembers記得, in this infinite無窮 instant瞬間
360
1081000
4000
於是女孩記起,在這被記憶一再分割
18:17
already已經 now so many許多 times divided分為,
361
1085000
3000
無限的剎那間,
18:20
the sadness she felt once一旦,
362
1088000
2000
記起了曾經的痛
18:22
hardly幾乎不 knowing會心 she felt it,
363
1090000
2000
那幾乎難以察覺的
18:24
to merely僅僅 inhabit居住於 herself她自己.
364
1092000
2000
埋藏在她心中的痛。
18:26
Yes, the girl女孩 falls下降, absurd荒誕 to fall秋季,
365
1094000
3000
喏!女孩墜落,荒誕地墜落了,
18:29
even the earth地球 with its compulsion義務
366
1097000
3000
儘管是讓她墜落的
18:32
to take unto itself本身 all that falls下降
367
1100000
3000
地球引力
18:35
must必須 know that falling落下 is absurd荒誕,
368
1103000
2000
也知道這是荒誕的,
18:37
yet然而 the girl女孩 falling落下 isn't myself,
369
1105000
3000
但那個落下的女孩不是我,
18:40
or she is myself,
370
1108000
2000
就算她的確是我,
18:42
but a self I took of my own擁有 volition意志 unto myself.
371
1110000
4000
也是我的自由意志選擇的自己。
18:46
Forever永遠. With grace恩典.
372
1114000
4000
永遠,出於恩寵。
18:50
This happened發生.
373
1118000
3000
這樣的事發生了
18:53
(Applause掌聲)
374
1121000
8000
(鼓掌)
19:01
I'll read just one more. I don't usually平時 say that.
375
1129000
2000
我會再讀一首,我很少這麼說。
19:03
I like to just end結束.
376
1131000
2000
我喜歡直接結束。
19:05
But I'm afraid害怕 that Ricky瑞奇 will come out here
377
1133000
3000
但我怕Ricky會走上來
19:08
and shake his fist拳頭 at me.
378
1136000
4000
向我揮拳
19:12
This is called "Old Man," appropriately適當 enough足夠.
379
1140000
4000
題目是「老人」,再貼切不過了
19:16
"Special特別: big tits山雀,"
380
1144000
2000
特別報導,巨乳。
19:18
Says the advertisement廣告 for a soft-core軟核 magazine雜誌
381
1146000
3000
色情雜誌的廣告上這麼寫著
19:21
on our neighborhood鄰里 newsstand報攤.
382
1149000
2000
貼在我們社區的佈告欄上。
19:23
But forget忘記 her breasts乳房.
383
1151000
2000
但先別提她的雙峰。
19:25
A lush青蔥的, fresh-lipped新鮮的唇 blond金發,
384
1153000
3000
一個肉感,雙唇嬌豔欲滴的金髮尤物,
19:28
skin皮膚 glowing泛著 gold, sprawls綿延 there,
385
1156000
3000
小麥色的肌膚,玉體橫陳,
19:31
resplendent燦爛.
386
1159000
2000
簡直是光彩奪目。
19:33
60 nearly幾乎, yet然而 these hardly幾乎不 tangible有形,
387
1161000
3000
都快60歲了,但這些無法實際碰觸到,
19:36
hardly幾乎不 better than harlots妓女, can still stir攪拌 me.
388
1164000
5000
不比娼婦高明到哪去的娘們,仍然攪得我心癢難耐。
19:41
Maybe a coming未來 of age年齡 in the
389
1169000
2000
或者一個美國感官黑暗年代
19:43
American美國 sensual聲色 darkness黑暗,
390
1171000
2000
就要來臨,
19:45
never seeing眼看 an unsmudgedunsmudged nipple乳頭,
391
1173000
2000
再也看不到沒打上馬賽克的乳頭,
19:47
an uncensored未經審查 vagina陰道,
392
1175000
2000
或未經分級審查刪除的陰道畫面,
19:49
has left me forever永遠 infected感染
393
1177000
3000
讓我的眼睛
19:52
with an unquenchable不滅 lust情慾 of the eye.
394
1180000
3000
染上了不可磨滅的淫欲。
19:55
Always that erotic好色之徒 murmur私語,
395
1183000
2000
情色的低喃總是
19:57
I'm hardly幾乎不 myself
396
1185000
2000
讓我幾乎不能自己
19:59
if I'm not in a state of incipient初期的 desire慾望.
397
1187000
4000
設若我不是沈溺在一個原欲的狀態。
20:03
God knows知道 though雖然,
398
1191000
2000
雖然說天曉得,
20:05
there are worse更差 twists曲折 your obsessions走火入魔 can take.
399
1193000
3000
癡迷會讓人陷得更深。
20:08
Last year in Israel以色列, a young年輕 ultra-orthodox極端正統派 Rabbi拉比
400
1196000
4000
去年在以色列,一位年輕的超正統拉比
20:12
guiding主導 some teenage青少年 girls女孩 through通過 the Shrine神社 of the Shoah浩劫
401
1200000
4000
帶領女學生們參觀大屠殺紀念館時
20:16
forbade禁止 them to look in one room房間.
402
1204000
3000
禁止她們參觀一個展廳。
20:19
Because there were images圖片 in it he said were licentious淫亂.
403
1207000
4000
因為他說裡頭的照片太過放蕩。
20:23
The display顯示 was a photo照片. Men男人 and women婦女 stripped剝離 naked,
404
1211000
4000
展出的某張照片。男女都被剝到赤身露體,
20:27
some trying to cover their genitals生殖器,
405
1215000
2000
有些人想遮蔽他們的生殖器,
20:29
others其他 too frightened受驚 to bother,
406
1217000
2000
有些人則被嚇到忘了要這麼做,
20:31
lined up in snow
407
1219000
2000
在雪地裡站成一排
20:33
waiting等候 to be shot射擊 and thrown拋出 into a ditch.
408
1221000
3000
等著被射殺後再丟進溝渠裡。
20:36
The girls女孩, to my horror恐怖,
409
1224000
3000
讓我覺得恐怖的是,
20:39
averted避免 their gaze凝視.
410
1227000
2000
女孩們紛紛把目光移開。
20:41
What carnal肉體 mistrust不信任 had their teacher老師 taught them.
411
1229000
4000
老師灌輸給她們的不信任肉慾的信念竟是如此深刻。
20:45
Even that though雖然. Another另一個 confession自白書:
412
1233000
4000
除此之外。還有另一個告解:
20:49
Once一旦 in a book on pre-war戰前 Poland波蘭,
413
1237000
3000
在一本戰前波蘭的書中
20:52
a studio工作室 portrait肖像, an absolute絕對 angel天使,
414
1240000
4000
一座藝術塑像,一個絕美的天使,
20:56
an absolute絕對 angel天使 with tormented折磨, tormenting折磨 eyes眼睛.
415
1244000
2000
一個帶著痛苦眼神的絕美天使。
20:58
I kept不停 finding發現 myself at her page.
416
1246000
3000
我注視了那圖良久。
21:01
That she died死亡 in the camps營地 made製作 her --
417
1249000
3000
她死於集中營 --
21:04
I didn't dare wonder奇蹟 why --
418
1252000
3000
雖然我不敢懷疑原因 --
21:07
more present當下, more precious珍貴.
419
1255000
3000
讓她顯得更具存在感,更珍貴。
21:10
Died死亡 in the camps營地, that too people --
420
1258000
3000
許多人 -- 或者說猶太人 --
21:13
or Jews猶太人 anyway無論如何 --
421
1261000
2000
也是在集中營死去
21:15
kept不停 from their children孩子 back then.
422
1263000
2000
並與他們的子女隔離。
21:17
But it was like sex性別, you didn't have to be told.
423
1265000
4000
而那就像是性,不消多說。
21:21
Sex性別 and death死亡, how close they can seem似乎.
424
1269000
4000
性和死亡,看起來多麼相似。
21:25
So constantly經常 conscious意識 now of death死亡 moving移動 towards me,
425
1273000
4000
如此不斷蓄意逼近我的死亡,
21:29
sometimes有時 I think I confound混淆 them.
426
1277000
3000
偶爾我覺得我將這兩者混淆了。
21:32
My wife's妻子 loveliness魅力 almost幾乎 consumes消耗 me.
427
1280000
3000
我妻子的愛幾乎蠶食了我。
21:35
My passion for her goes beyond reasonable合理 bounds界限.
428
1283000
3000
我對她的感情遠遠高過於合理的境界。
21:38
When we make love, her holding保持 me
429
1286000
3000
每次做愛時,她抱住我
21:41
everywhere到處 all around me,
430
1289000
2000
纏繞著我的全身,
21:43
I'm there and not there.
431
1291000
2000
我感覺如夢又如真。
21:45
My mind心神 teems盛產, jumbles混為一談 of faces面孔, voices聲音, impressions印象,
432
1293000
4000
我的腦中湧現無數的臉孔,聲音和記憶,
21:49
I live生活 my life over, as though雖然 I were drowning溺死.
433
1297000
5000
我就像溺水的人一般,眼前閃過自己一生的影像。
21:54
Then I am drowning溺死, in despair絕望
434
1302000
3000
在不得不抽離她的時刻,
21:57
at having to leave離開 her,
435
1305000
2000
我深深陷溺在絕望之中,
21:59
this, everything, all,
436
1307000
2000
這,一切,所有的一切,
22:01
unbearable不堪忍受, awful可怕.
437
1309000
3000
是如此難耐,讓人驚駭。
22:04
Still, to be able能夠 to die
438
1312000
3000
但仍能無有悔恨的
22:07
with no special特別 contrition悔悟,
439
1315000
2000
死去,
22:09
not having been slaughtered屠宰, or enslaved奴役.
440
1317000
3000
不是被屠殺,不是被奴役。
22:12
And not having to know history's歷史上 next下一個
441
1320000
3000
也不需要知道世上接著會發生
22:15
mad rage憤怒 or regression回歸,
442
1323000
2000
什麼劇烈的風暴或衰退,
22:17
it might威力 be a relief浮雕.
443
1325000
3000
死亡或者會是種解脫。
22:20
No. Again, no.
444
1328000
2000
不是,再次重申,絕不是。
22:22
I don't mean that for a moment時刻.
445
1330000
2000
我並沒有那種意思。
22:24
What I mean is the world世界 holds持有 me so tightly緊緊 --
446
1332000
3000
我是說這世界把我包得太緊 --
22:27
the good and the bad --
447
1335000
2000
好的,壞的 --
22:29
my own擁有 follies蠢事 and weakness弱點
448
1337000
2000
我的愚蠢和軟弱
22:31
that even this counterfeit偽造 Venus金星
449
1339000
3000
以致於這贋品的維納斯
22:34
with her sham heat, and her bosom probably大概 plumped撲通
450
1342000
3000
與她虛偽的熱情,和她觸動我心弦
22:37
with gel凝膠, so moves移動 me
451
1345000
3000
那可能裝滿矽膠的雙峰
22:40
my breath呼吸 catches漁獲.
452
1348000
2000
也讓我喘不過氣來。
22:42
Vamp鞋面. Siren警笛. Seductress勾引.
453
1350000
3000
騷貨,妖女,蕩婦。
22:45
How much more she reveals揭示
454
1353000
2000
在她如墨的星眸裡
22:47
in her glare強光 of ink墨水 than she knows知道.
455
1355000
3000
展露了比她自己所知的還更多。
22:50
How she incarnates體現
456
1358000
2000
她是如何將具體體現了
22:52
our desperate殊死 human人的 need for regard看待,
457
1360000
3000
我們極度迫切的人性慾望,
22:55
our passion to live生活 in beauty美女,
458
1363000
3000
渴望過更美好,
22:58
to be beauty美女, to be cherished珍愛的 by glances眼神,
459
1366000
4000
變得更美麗,被注視且珍惜,
23:02
if by no more, of something like love,
460
1370000
4000
基於類似愛,
23:06
or love.
461
1374000
2000
或愛本身的角度。
23:08
Thank you.
462
1376000
2000
謝謝。
23:10
(Applause掌聲)
463
1378000
2000
(掌聲)
Translated by zhang haohan
Reviewed by Josie Chen

▲Back to top

ABOUT THE SPEAKER
C.K. Williams - Poet
Often called a social poet, C.K. Williams was fascinated by the characters of modern civilization and their interactions.

Why you should listen

C.K. Williams started writing poetry at 19, after taking only his required English classes at University of Pennsylvania. In the 1960s, he began gearing his poems toward social issues, such as the brutality that  civil rights activists often faced and his anti-war stance with respect to Vietnam. Over time, although he continued to write about society, his work became more personal. His focus shifted to the intersection of profoundly different lives in crowded urban spaces, using these instances to examine sensitive issues such as race and class.    

The subject matter of his work is not its only controversy, and Williams is often compared to Whitman and Ginsberg because of his unusually long lines of verse. Despite his unconventional poetic form, he was awarded the Pulitzer Prize, the National Book Award and the National Book Critics Circle Award, among other honors. He also published five works of translation and a psychologically introspective memoir, Misgivings: My Mother, My Father, Myself. Williams died in September 2015.

More profile about the speaker
C.K. Williams | Speaker | TED.com