TEDWomen 2015
Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin: A hilarious celebration of lifelong female friendship
Jane Fonda og Lily Tomlin: En morsom hyldest til veninder for livet
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Den legendariske duo Jane Fonda og Lily Tomlin har været veninder i årtier. Pat Mitchell er her vært for en hudløs, øm og vidtfavnende samtale hvor de tre diskuterer levetid, feminisme og forskelle mellem mandlige og kvindelige venskaber, hvad det betyder at leve godt og kvinders rolle for Jordens fremtid. "Hvad skulle jeg dog gøre uden mine veninder", siger Jane Fonda. "Jeg lever fordi jeg har mine veninder."
Jane Fonda - Actor and activist
Jane Fonda has had three extraordinary careers (so far): Oscar-winning actor, fitness guru, impassioned activist. Full bioLily Tomlin - Comedian and actor
Lily Tomlin has been honored by the Kennedy Center and awarded the Mark Twain Prize -- and she's still making vital, hilarious comedy. Full bio
Jane Fonda has had three extraordinary careers (so far): Oscar-winning actor, fitness guru, impassioned activist. Full bioLily Tomlin - Comedian and actor
Lily Tomlin has been honored by the Kennedy Center and awarded the Mark Twain Prize -- and she's still making vital, hilarious comedy. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:12
Pat Mitchell: So I was thinking
about female friendship a lot,
about female friendship a lot,
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Pat Mitchell: Jeg har tænkt meget
over venskab mellem kvinder,
over venskab mellem kvinder,
00:15
and by the way, these two women,
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og disse to kvinder -
00:18
I'm very honored to say,
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og det er mig en ære -
00:19
have been my friends
for a very long time, too.
for a very long time, too.
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har også være mine venner
gennem mange år.
gennem mange år.
00:22
Jane Fonda: Yes we have.
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Jane Fonda: Det er rigtig
00:23
PM: And one of the things
that I read about female friendship
that I read about female friendship
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PM: Og en ting jeg har læst
om kvindelige venskaber
om kvindelige venskaber
00:27
is something that Cervantes said.
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er noget Cervantes sagde.
00:28
He said, "You can tell
a lot about someone,"
a lot about someone,"
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Han sagde, "Man kan udlede
meget om en person,"
meget om en person,"
00:32
in this case a woman,
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dvs. en kvinde,
00:33
"by the company that she keeps."
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"ud fra dem hun omgås."
00:35
So let's start with --
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Lad os starte med --
00:37
(Laughter)
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(Latter)
00:40
JF: We're in big trouble.
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JF: Vi er i problemer nu.
00:41
Lily Tomlin: Hand me one of those waters,
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Lily Tomling: Ræk mig noget vand,
00:43
I'm extremely dry.
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Min mund er tør.
00:45
(Laughter)
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(Latter)
00:53
JF: You're taking up our time.
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JF: Du bruger al din tid.
00:55
We have a very limited --
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Vi har meget begrænset --
00:56
LT: Just being with her
sucks the life out of me.
sucks the life out of me.
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LT: Hun suger al livet
ud af mig.
ud af mig.
00:59
(Laughter)
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(Latter)
01:02
JF: You ain't seen nothing yet.
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JF: Du kan bare vente dig.
01:03
Anyway -- sorry.
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Men altså -- undskyld.
01:05
PM: So tell me, what do you
look for in a friend?
look for in a friend?
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PM: Sig mig, hvad kigger
du efter hos en ven?
du efter hos en ven?
01:09
LT: I look for someone
who has a sense of fun,
who has a sense of fun,
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LT: Det skal være en
der har sans for humor,
der har sans for humor,
01:12
who's audacious,
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som er dristig,
01:15
who's forthcoming, who has politics,
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ligefrem og politisk,
01:18
who has even a small scrap
of passion for the planet,
of passion for the planet,
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som har bare en lille
passion for Jorden,
passion for Jorden,
01:23
someone who's decent,
has a sense of justice
has a sense of justice
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en der er anstændig,
og har retfærdighedssans
og har retfærdighedssans
01:26
and who thinks I'm worthwhile.
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og mener jeg er umagen værd
01:28
(Laughter)
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(Latter)
01:30
(Applause)
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(Bifald)
01:34
JF: You know, I was thinking this morning,
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JF: Jeg ved virkelig ikke
01:36
I don't even know what I would do
without my women friends.
without my women friends.
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hvad jeg ville gøre uden
mine veninder.
mine veninder.
01:39
I mean it's, "I have my friends,
therefore I am."
therefore I am."
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Jeg mener, "Jeg har mine venner,
derfor er jeg."
derfor er jeg."
01:42
LT: (Laughter)
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LT: (Latter)
01:43
JF: No, it's true.
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JF: Nej, det er sandt.
01:45
I exist because I have
my women friends. They --
my women friends. They --
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Jeg er, fordi jeg
har mine veninder. De --
har mine veninder. De --
01:48
You're one of them.
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Du er en af dem.
01:49
I don't know about you. But anyway --
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Jeg ved ikke med dig. Men altså --
01:51
(Laughter)
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(Latter)
01:52
You know, they make me stronger,
they make me smarter,
they make me smarter,
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De gør mig stærkere
og klogere,
og klogere,
01:55
they make me braver.
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de gør mig modigere.
01:56
They tap me on the shoulder when I might
be in need of course-correcting.
be in need of course-correcting.
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De prikker mig på skulderen,
når jeg bør rette ind.
når jeg bør rette ind.
02:01
And most of them are
a good deal younger than me, too.
a good deal younger than me, too.
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Og mange af dem er også
meget yngre end jeg.
meget yngre end jeg.
02:04
You know? I mean, it's nice --
LT: Thank you.
LT: Thank you.
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Ikke også? Det er dejligt --
LT: Tak.
LT: Tak.
02:06
(Laughter)
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(Latter)
02:09
JF: No, I do, I include you in that,
because listen, you know --
because listen, you know --
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JF: Nej, det er også dig,
for hør her --
for hør her --
02:12
it's nice to have somebody still around
to play with and learn from
to play with and learn from
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det er dejligt med en man kan
lære af og lege med
lære af og lege med
02:15
when you're getting toward the end.
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når man nærmer sig enden.
02:17
I'm approaching --
I'll be there sooner than you.
I'll be there sooner than you.
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Jeg nærmer mig --
Jeg er der før dig.
Jeg er der før dig.
02:19
LT: No, I'm glad to have you
parallel aging alongside me.
parallel aging alongside me.
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LT: Jeg er glad for vi følges ad.
02:22
(Laughter)
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(Latter)
02:24
JF: I'm showing you the way.
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JF: Jeg viser dig vejen.
02:26
(Laughter)
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(Latter)
02:27
LT: Well, you are and you have.
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LT: Altså du er, og du har.
02:29
PM: Well, as we grow older,
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PM: Mens vi bliver ældre,
02:30
and as we go through
different kinds of life's journeys,
different kinds of life's journeys,
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og gennemgår forskellige
perioder i livet,
perioder i livet,
02:33
what do you do to keep
your friendships vital and alive?
your friendships vital and alive?
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hvordan holder man så et
venskab vitalt og i live?
venskab vitalt og i live?
02:38
LT: Well you have to use a lot of --
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LT: Du må bruge en masse --
02:39
JF: She doesn't invite me over much,
I'll tell you that.
I'll tell you that.
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JF: Hun inviterer mig ikke særlig tit.
02:42
LT: I have to use a lot of social media --
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LT: Jeg bruger sociale medier meget --
02:44
You be quiet now. And so --
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Vær stille. Og derfor --
02:46
(Laughter)
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(Latter)
02:48
LT: And I look through my emails,
I look through my texts
I look through my texts
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LT: Jeg gennemgår mine mails,
og mine SMS'er
og mine SMS'er
02:51
to find my friends,
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for at finde mine venner,
02:52
so I can answer them
as quickly as possible,
as quickly as possible,
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og svare dem så
hurtigt som muligt,
hurtigt som muligt,
02:54
because I know they need my counsel.
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for jeg ved de har brug
for min rådgivning.
for min rådgivning.
02:57
(Laughter)
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(Latter)
03:00
They need my support,
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De har brug for min støtte,
03:01
because most of my friends
are writers, or activists, or actors,
are writers, or activists, or actors,
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for de flest af dem er forfattere,
aktivister eller skuespillere,
aktivister eller skuespillere,
03:04
and you're all three ...
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og du er alle 3 ...
03:05
and a long string
of other descriptive phrases,
of other descriptive phrases,
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samt en lang række af andre
beskrivende fraser,
beskrivende fraser,
03:09
and I want to get to you
as soon as possible,
as soon as possible,
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og jeg vil frem til dig så
hurtigt som muligt.
hurtigt som muligt.
03:13
I want you to know that I'm there for you.
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Du skal vide jeg er der for dig.
03:15
JF: Do you do emojis?
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JF: Bruger du smileys?
03:17
LT: Oh ...
JF: No?
JF: No?
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LT: Øh...
JF: Ikke?
JF: Ikke?
03:19
LT: That's embarrassing.
JF: I'm really into emojis.
JF: I'm really into emojis.
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LT: Det er pinligt.
JF: Jeg elsker smileys.
JF: Jeg elsker smileys.
03:21
LT: No, I spell out my --
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LT: Mine er tekst --
03:23
I spell out my words of happiness
and congratulations,
and congratulations,
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Jeg skriver ord som glæde og tillykke,
03:27
and sadness.
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og sorg.
03:29
JF: You spell it right out --
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JF: Du skriver det --
LT: Jeg skriver hvert
eneste bogstav
eneste bogstav
03:30
LT: I spell it, every letter.
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03:32
(Laughter)
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(Latter)
JF: Du foretrækker
enkelthed.
enkelthed.
03:33
JF: Such a purist.
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03:35
You know, as I've gotten older,
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Du ved, med alderen,
03:37
I've understood more
the importance of friendships,
the importance of friendships,
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får jeg bedre forståelse for
vigtigheden af venskaber,
vigtigheden af venskaber,
03:40
and so, I really make an effort
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så jeg anstrenger mig virkelig
03:42
to reach out and make play dates --
not let too much time go by.
not let too much time go by.
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for at holde dem ved lige, og
undgå der går for lang tid.
undgå der går for lang tid.
03:46
I read a lot
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Jeg læser meget
03:48
so, as Lily knows all too well,
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som Lily kun ved alt for godt.
03:50
my books that I like,
I send to my friends.
I send to my friends.
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De bøger jeg kan lide,
sender jeg til mine venner.
sender jeg til mine venner.
03:52
LT: When we knew we would be here today
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LT: Da vi fandt ud af vi skulle herind
03:54
you sent me a lot of books
about women, female friendships,
about women, female friendships,
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sendte du mig mange bøger
om kvinder og veninder,
om kvinder og veninder,
03:56
and I was so surprised
to see how many books,
to see how many books,
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og jeg var overrasket over
at se hvor mange bøger,
at se hvor mange bøger,
04:00
how much research
has been done recently --
has been done recently --
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og hvor meget forskning
der er lavet fornylig --
der er lavet fornylig --
04:02
JF: And were you grateful?
LT: I was grateful.
LT: I was grateful.
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JF: Og var du taknemmelig?
LT: Jeg var taknemmelig.
LT: Jeg var taknemmelig.
04:05
(Laughter)
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(Latter)
04:10
PM: And --
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PM: Og --
04:11
LT: Wait, no, it's really important
because this is another example
because this is another example
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LT: Vendt, nej, det er vigtigt
for dette er et andet eksempel
for dette er et andet eksempel
04:14
of how women are overlooked,
put aside, marginalized.
put aside, marginalized.
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på hvordan kvinder overses,
sættes til side og marginaliseres.
sættes til side og marginaliseres.
04:18
There's been very little
research done on us,
research done on us,
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Der laves meget lidt forskning om os
04:21
even though we volunteered lots of times.
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selvom vi tit melder os frivilligt.
04:23
JF: That's for sure.
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JF: Helt klart.
04:24
(Laughter)
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(Latter)
04:26
LT: This is really exciting,
and you all will be interested in this.
and you all will be interested in this.
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LT: Det er virkelig spændende,
og I vil finde det interessant.
og I vil finde det interessant.
04:30
The Harvard Medical School study has shown
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Forskning på Harvard Medical School
har vist
har vist
04:32
that women who have
close female friendships
close female friendships
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at kvinder der har tætte veninder
04:37
are less likely to develop impairments --
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er mindre tilbøjelige til at få
04:40
physical impairments as they age,
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fysiske skavanker med alderen,
04:42
and they are likely to be seen
to be living much more vital, exciting --
to be living much more vital, exciting --
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og de bliver opfattet som mere
vitale og spændende --
vitale og spændende --
04:48
JF: And longer --
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JF: Og længere --
04:49
LT: Joyful lives.
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LT: gladere liv.
04:50
JF: We live five years longer than men.
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JF: Vi bliver 5 år ældre end mænd.
04:52
LT: I think I'd trade the years for joy.
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LT: Jeg bytter gerne for glæden.
04:54
(Laughter)
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(Latter)
04:58
LT: But the most important
part is they found --
part is they found --
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LT: Men den vigtigste --
05:01
the results were so exciting
and so conclusive --
and so conclusive --
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resultatet var så spændende
og tydeligt --
og tydeligt --
05:04
the researchers found
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forskerne fandt ud af
05:06
that not having close female friends
is detrimental to your health,
is detrimental to your health,
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at det er lige så skadeligt for helbredet
ikke at have tætte veninder,
ikke at have tætte veninder,
05:12
as much as smoking or being overweight.
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som det er at ryge eller være overvægtig.
05:15
JF: And there's something else, too --
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JF: Og der er også noget andet --
05:17
LT: I've said my part, so ...
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LT: Jeg har sagt mit, så ...
05:18
(Laughter)
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(Latter)
05:19
JF: OK, well, listen to my part,
because there's an additional thing.
because there's an additional thing.
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JF: Så lyt til mig, for jeg har
noget at tilføje.
noget at tilføje.
05:23
Because they only --
for years, decades --
for years, decades --
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I årevis, i årtier --
05:25
they only researched men when they
were trying to understand stress,
were trying to understand stress,
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forskede man kun i mænd
i forbindelse med stress.
i forbindelse med stress.
05:30
only very recently have they researched
what happens to women when we're stressed,
what happens to women when we're stressed,
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Først fornylig har de kigget på
hvad der sker med kvinder under stress.
hvad der sker med kvinder under stress.
05:34
and it turns out
that when we're stressed -- women,
that when we're stressed -- women,
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Og det viser sig, at når
kvinder bliver stresset,
kvinder bliver stresset,
05:38
our bodies get flooded by oxytocin.
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bliver kroppen oversvømmet
med oxytocin.
med oxytocin.
05:42
Which is a feel-good, calming,
stress-reducing hormone.
stress-reducing hormone.
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Det er et beroligende og
stress-reducerende hormon.
stress-reducerende hormon.
05:45
Which is also increased
when we're with our women friends.
when we're with our women friends.
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Det forøges også, når vi er
sammen med veninder.
sammen med veninder.
05:50
And I do think that's one reason
why we live longer.
why we live longer.
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Jeg tror det er derfor
vi lever længere.
vi lever længere.
05:54
And I feel so bad for men
because they don't have that.
because they don't have that.
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Og jeg synes det er synd for mænd
at de ikke har det sådan.
at de ikke har det sådan.
05:56
Testosterone in men
diminishes the effects of oxytocin.
diminishes the effects of oxytocin.
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Testosteron hos mænd
mindsker effekten af oxytocin.
mindsker effekten af oxytocin.
06:01
LT: Well, when you and I
and Dolly made "9 to 5" ...
and Dolly made "9 to 5" ...
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LT: Da du, jeg og Dolly
lavede "9 til 5"...
lavede "9 til 5"...
06:04
JF: Oh --
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JF: Åh --
06:05
LT: We laughed, we did,
we laughed so much,
we laughed so much,
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LT: Vi grinte, vi grinte så meget,
06:07
we found we had so much in common
and we're so different.
and we're so different.
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vi har meget tilfælles,
og er også meget forskellige.
og er også meget forskellige.
06:10
Here she is, like Hollywood royalty,
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Her er hun, en kongelig i Hollywood,
06:12
I'm like a tough kid from Detroit,
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Jeg er en rå unge fra Detroit,
06:14
[Dolly's] a Southern kid
from a poor town in Tennessee,
from a poor town in Tennessee,
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[Dolly's] er et sydstatsbarn fra
en fattig by i Tennessee,
en fattig by i Tennessee,
06:18
and we found we were so in sync as women,
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og vi fandt at vi virkelig er på
bølgelængde som kvinder,
bølgelængde som kvinder,
06:22
and we must have --
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og vi må have --
06:23
we laughed -- we must have added
at least a decade onto our lifespans.
at least a decade onto our lifespans.
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vi grinte -- vi må have tilføjet
mindst et årti til vores livslængde.
mindst et årti til vores livslængde.
06:29
JF: I think -- we sure
crossed our legs a lot.
crossed our legs a lot.
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JF: Vi krydsede ben rigtig meget.
06:32
(Laughter)
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(Latter)
06:34
If you know what I mean.
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Hvis du forstår hvad jeg mener.
06:37
LT: I think we all know what you mean.
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LT: Vi ved alle hvad du mener.
06:39
(Laughter)
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(Latter)
06:41
PM: You're adding decades
to our lives right now.
to our lives right now.
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PM: Du føjer årtier til vores
liv lige nu.
liv lige nu.
06:44
So among the books that Jane
sent us both to read on female friendship
sent us both to read on female friendship
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Imellem bøgerne om veninder
som Jane sendte til os
som Jane sendte til os
06:49
was one by a woman we admire greatly,
Sister Joan Chittister,
Sister Joan Chittister,
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var der en af Joan Chittister,
som jeg beundrer meget,
som jeg beundrer meget,
06:53
who said about female friendship
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og hun sagde om veninder
06:55
that women friends
are not just a social act,
are not just a social act,
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at kvindelige venner ikke
kun er sociale,
kun er sociale,
06:59
they're a spiritual act.
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men også spirituelle.
07:01
Do you think of your friends as spiritual?
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Er Jeres venskaber spirituelle?
07:03
Do they add something
spiritual to your lives?
spiritual to your lives?
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Tilføjer de noget spirituelt
i Jeres liv?
i Jeres liv?
07:06
LT: Spiritual -- I absolutely think that.
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LT: Det er jeg sikker på.
07:10
Because -- especially people
you've known a long time,
you've known a long time,
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Især mennesker man har
kendt i lang tid,
kendt i lang tid,
07:13
people you've spent time with --
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og brugt meget tid med --
07:14
I can see the spiritual
essence inside them,
essence inside them,
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Jeg kan se den spirituelle
essens indeni dem,
essens indeni dem,
07:17
the tenderness, the vulnerability.
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ømheden, skrøbeligheden.
07:22
There's actually kind of a love,
an element of love in the relationship.
an element of love in the relationship.
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Der er et element af kærlighed
i forholdet.
i forholdet.
07:26
I just see deeply into your soul.
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Jeg ser dybt ind i din sjæl.
07:30
PM: Do you think that, Jane --
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PM: Synes du det, Jane --
07:31
LT: But I have special powers.
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LT: Jeg har særlige evner.
07:34
JF: Well, there's all kinds of friends.
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JF: Der er mange typer venner.
07:36
There's business friends,
and party friends,
and party friends,
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Der er forretningsvenner,
og fest-venner,
og fest-venner,
07:38
I've got a lot of those.
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Dem har jeg mange af.
07:40
(Laughter)
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(Latter)
07:42
But the oxytocin-producing
friendships have ...
friendships have ...
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Men de oxytocin-producerende
venskaber har ...
venskaber har ...
07:47
They feel spiritual
because it's a heart opening, right?
because it's a heart opening, right?
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De føles spirituelle
fordi de åbner hjertet, ikke?
fordi de åbner hjertet, ikke?
07:51
You know, we go deep. And --
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Vi er dybe. Og --
07:54
I find that I shed tears a lot
with my intimate friends.
with my intimate friends.
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jeg græder meget med
mine tætte venner.
mine tætte venner.
08:01
Not because I'm sad but because
I'm so touched and inspired by them.
I'm so touched and inspired by them.
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Ikke fordi jeg er ked af det.
Jeg bliver så rørt og inspireret af dem.
Jeg bliver så rørt og inspireret af dem.
08:06
LT: And you know one of you
is going to go soon.
is going to go soon.
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LT: Og en af Jer må gå snart.
08:09
(Laughter)
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(Latter)
08:14
PM: Well, two of us are sitting here,
Lily, which one are you talking about?
Lily, which one are you talking about?
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PM: Vi sidder her begge to,
Lily, hvem mener du?
Lily, hvem mener du?
08:19
(Laughter)
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(Latter)
08:20
And I always think, when women
talk about their friendships,
talk about their friendships,
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Jeg synes at når kvinder taler
om deres venskaber,
om deres venskaber,
08:23
that men always look a little mystified.
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bliver mænd altid lidt forundret.
08:26
What are the differences, in your opinion,
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Hvad er forskellen efter din mening,
08:29
between men friendships
and women friendships?
and women friendships?
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mellem mandlige venskaber
og kvindelige venskaber?
og kvindelige venskaber?
08:32
JF: There's a lot of difference,
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JF: Der er stor forskel,
08:34
and I think we have to have
a lot of empathy for men --
a lot of empathy for men --
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og vi må udvise mænd
meget empati --
meget empati --
08:37
(Laughter)
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(Latter)
08:38
that they don't have what we have.
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fordi de ikke har det vi har.
08:43
Which I think may be why they die sooner.
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Hvilket jeg mener er årsagen til
de dør tidligere.
de dør tidligere.
08:45
(Laughter)
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(Latter)
08:47
I have a lot of compassion for men,
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Jeg har rigtig meget
medfølelse med mænd,
medfølelse med mænd,
08:49
because women, no kidding, we --
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fordi kvinder, seriøst, vi --
08:53
women's relationships, our friendships
are full disclosure, we go deep.
are full disclosure, we go deep.
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kvinders forhold, vores venskaber
er totalt åbne, vi er dybe.
er totalt åbne, vi er dybe.
08:59
They're revelatory.
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De er afslørende.
09:01
We risk vulnerability --
this is something men don't do.
this is something men don't do.
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Vi risikerer sårbarhed --
den slags gør mænd ikke.
den slags gør mænd ikke.
09:06
I mean how many times
have I asked you, "Am I doing OK?"
have I asked you, "Am I doing OK?"
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Hvor ofte har jeg ikke
spurgt dig, "Gør jeg det godt?"
spurgt dig, "Gør jeg det godt?"
09:09
"Did I really screw up there?"
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"Har jeg dummet mig?"
09:11
PM: You're doing great.
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PM: Du gør det fantastisk.
09:13
(Laughter)
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(Latter)
09:14
JF: But I mean, we ask questions like that
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JF: Vi stiller sådanne spørgsmål
09:17
of our women friends,
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til vores veninder
09:18
and men don't.
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men det gør mænd ikke.
09:20
You know, people describe women's
relationships as face-to-face,
relationships as face-to-face,
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Kvinders forhold beskrives som
ansigt-til-ansigt,
ansigt-til-ansigt,
09:24
whereas men's friendships
are more side-by-side.
are more side-by-side.
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3016
hvor mænds venskaber er
mere side-om-side.
mere side-om-side.
09:27
LT: I mean most of the time
men don't want to reveal their emotions,
men don't want to reveal their emotions,
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LT: Oftest ønsker mænd ikke
at afsløre deres følelser,
at afsløre deres følelser,
09:31
they want to bury deeper feelings.
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de begraver de dybere følelser.
09:33
I mean, that's the general,
conventional thought.
conventional thought.
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Det der i hvert fald
den generelle opfattelse.
den generelle opfattelse.
09:36
They would rather go off in their man cave
and watch a game or hit golf balls,
and watch a game or hit golf balls,
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De vil hellere være i deres mande-huler
og se en kamp eller slå til golfbolde,
og se en kamp eller slå til golfbolde,
09:40
or talk about sports,
or hunting, or cars or have sex.
or hunting, or cars or have sex.
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eller tale om sport, jagt
eller biler. Eller have sex.
eller biler. Eller have sex.
09:45
I mean, it's just the kind of --
it's a more manly behavior.
it's a more manly behavior.
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Det er bare en mere mandlig adfærd.
09:48
JF: You meant --
LT: They talk about sex.
LT: They talk about sex.
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2296
JF: Du mente --
LT: De taler om sex.
LT: De taler om sex.
09:51
I meant they might have sex
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1696
De har måske sex
09:52
if they could get somebody
in their man cave to --
in their man cave to --
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hvis de kan overtale en
i mande-hulen --
i mande-hulen --
09:55
(Laughter)
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(Latter)
09:58
JF: You know something, though,
that I find very interesting --
that I find very interesting --
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JF: Men noget jeg finder
rigtig interessant --
rigtig interessant --
10:01
and again, psychologists didn't know this
until relatively recently --
until relatively recently --
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og igen, psykologer vidste ikke
dette før relativt nyligt --
dette før relativt nyligt --
10:06
is that men are born every bit
as relational as women are.
as relational as women are.
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er at mænd fødes med samme
mulighed for at danne forhold som kvinder.
mulighed for at danne forhold som kvinder.
10:09
If you look at films
of newborn baby boys and girls,
of newborn baby boys and girls,
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3616
På film med nyfødte drenge og piger,
10:13
you'll see the baby boys
just like the girls,
just like the girls,
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ser man drenge såvel som piger,
10:15
gazing into their mother's eyes,
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2336
stirre ind i deres mødres øjne,
10:18
you know, needing that relational
exchange of energy.
exchange of energy.
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4176
efter den relationelle
udveksling af energi.
udveksling af energi.
10:22
When the mother looks away,
they could see the dismay on the child,
they could see the dismay on the child,
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Når moderen kigger væk,
kan man se barnet er utilfreds.
kan man se barnet er utilfreds.
10:27
even the boy would cry.
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Selv drengene græder.
10:28
They need relationship.
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1856
De har brug for relationer.
10:30
So the question is why,
as they grow older, does that change?
as they grow older, does that change?
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3976
Så spørgsmålet er hvorfor dette
ændrer sig som de bliver større?
ændrer sig som de bliver større?
10:34
And the answer is patriarchal culture,
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Svaret er den patriarkale kultur,
10:37
which says to boys and young men
225
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2976
som fortæller drenge og unge mænd
10:40
that to be needing of relationship,
to be emotional with someone is girly.
to be emotional with someone is girly.
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5256
at følelsesmæssige forhold er piget.
10:45
That a real man doesn't ask
directions or express a need,
directions or express a need,
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5656
At en rigtig mand ikke spørg om vej
eller udtrykker et behov,
eller udtrykker et behov,
10:51
they don't go to doctors if they feel bad.
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2296
de går ikke til lægen når de er dårlige.
10:53
They don't ask for help.
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1576
De beder ikke om hjælp.
10:55
There's a quote that I really like,
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1696
Der er et citat jeg kan lide,
10:56
"Men fear that becoming 'we'
will erase his 'I'."
will erase his 'I'."
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4736
"Manden frygter at "os" vil
slette hans "jeg"".
slette hans "jeg"".
11:01
You know, his sense of self.
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Hans følelse af selvet.
11:03
Whereas women's sense of self
has always been kind of porous.
has always been kind of porous.
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Hvorimod kvinders følelse af selvet
altid har været porøst.
altid har været porøst.
11:07
But our "we" is our saving grace,
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3816
Vores "vi" er en frelser,
11:11
it's what makes us strong.
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2456
det gør os stærke.
11:14
It's not that we're better than men,
236
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1736
Ikke fordi vi er bedre end mænd,
11:15
we just don't have
our masculinity to prove.
our masculinity to prove.
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vi skal ikke bevise vores maskulinitet.
11:18
LT: And, well --
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LT: Og, altså --
11:19
JF: That's a Gloria Steinem quote.
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JF: Det er et Gloria Steinem citat.
11:21
So we can express our humanity --
LT: I know who Gloria Steinem is.
LT: I know who Gloria Steinem is.
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3376
Vi kan udtrykke hvor humanitet --
LT: Jeg ved godt hvem Gloria Steinem er.
LT: Jeg ved godt hvem Gloria Steinem er.
11:24
JF: I know you know who she is,
but I think it's a --
but I think it's a --
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JF: Jeg ved du ved det,
men jeg tror det er --
men jeg tror det er --
11:27
(Laughter)
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2035
(Latter)
11:29
No, but it's a great quote, I think.
243
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1856
Jeg synes det er et fantastisk citat.
11:31
We're not better than men, we just
don't have our masculinity to prove.
don't have our masculinity to prove.
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Vi er ikke bedre end mænd, vi har bare
ikke behov for at bevise maskulinitet.
ikke behov for at bevise maskulinitet.
11:35
And that's really important.
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1376
Det er meget vigtigt.
11:36
LT: But men are
so inculcated in the culture
so inculcated in the culture
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2576
LT: Men mænd har virkelig
fået indprentet i kulturen
fået indprentet i kulturen
11:39
to be comfortable in the patriarchy.
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3136
at være komfortabel med patriarkatet.
11:42
And we've got to make
something different happen.
something different happen.
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2936
Det må vi ændre på.
11:45
JF: Women's friendships
are like a renewable source of power.
are like a renewable source of power.
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4176
JF: Kvinderes venskaber
er en genopladelig kilde til energi.
er en genopladelig kilde til energi.
11:49
LT: Well, that's what's exciting
about this subject.
about this subject.
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2456
LT: Det er det spændende ved dette emne.
11:52
It's because our friendships --
251
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Fordi vores venskaber --
11:53
female friendships
are just a hop to our sisterhood,
are just a hop to our sisterhood,
252
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4616
kvindelige venskaber
bliver nemt søsterlige,
bliver nemt søsterlige,
11:58
and sisterhood can be
a very powerful force,
a very powerful force,
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3416
og søsterlighed er en meget
kraftfuld energi,
kraftfuld energi,
12:01
to give the world --
254
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1416
til at give verden --
12:03
to make it what it should be --
255
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1816
at ændre verden til det
den bør være --
den bør være --
12:05
the things that humans desperately need.
256
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de ting mennesker så desperat ønsker.
12:08
PM: It is why we're talking about it,
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1816
PM: Derfor taler vi om det,
12:10
because women's friendships are,
258
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1696
fordi kvinders venskaber er,
12:12
as you said, Jane,
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som du sagde, Jane,
12:13
a renewable source of power.
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1336
en genopladelig kilde til energi.
12:15
So how do we use that power?
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Hvordan bruger vi så den energi?
12:17
JF: Well, women are the fastest growing
demographic in the world,
demographic in the world,
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3376
JF: Kvinder er den stærkest voksende
del af befolkningen,
del af befolkningen,
12:21
especially older women.
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især ældre kvinder.
12:22
And if we harness our power,
we can change the world.
we can change the world.
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4056
Og hvis vi høster den energi,
kan vi ændre verden.
kan vi ændre verden.
12:26
And guess what? We need to.
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1536
Og ved du hvad? Det er vi nød til.
12:28
(Applause)
266
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2136
(Bifald)
12:30
And we need to do it soon.
267
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1296
Og vi må gøre det snart.
12:31
And one of the things
that we need to do --
that we need to do --
268
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2496
Og en af de ting vi må gøre --
12:34
and we can do it as women --
269
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1536
og vi kvinder kan gøre det --
12:35
for one thing, we kind of set
the consumer standards.
the consumer standards.
270
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3096
vi sætter standarden for forbrug.
12:38
We need to consume less.
271
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2416
Vi må forbruge mindre.
12:41
We in the Western world
need to consume less
need to consume less
272
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2976
Vi i den vestlige verden
må forbruge mindre
må forbruge mindre
12:44
and when we buy things, we need to
buy things that are made locally,
buy things that are made locally,
273
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3216
og når vi handler, skal vi
handle lokalt.
handle lokalt.
12:47
when we buy food, we need to buy food
that's grown locally.
that's grown locally.
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3096
De fødevarer vi handler
skal være dyrket lokalt.
skal være dyrket lokalt.
12:50
We are the ones
that need to get off the grid.
that need to get off the grid.
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3216
Vi må løsrive os.
12:53
We need to make ourselves
independent from fossil fuels.
independent from fossil fuels.
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5736
Vi skal være uafhængig
af fossile brændstoffer.
af fossile brændstoffer.
12:59
And the fossil fuel companies --
277
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1976
Og virksomhederne --
13:01
the Exxons and the Shell Oils
and those bad guys --
and those bad guys --
278
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3136
Exxon, Shell o.lign. De slemme drenge --
13:04
cause they are --
279
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1216
fordi de er --
13:05
are going to tell us that we can't do it
without going back to the Stone Age.
without going back to the Stone Age.
280
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3856
de fortæller os vi ikke kan uden
at vende tilbage til stenalderen.
at vende tilbage til stenalderen.
13:09
You know, that the alternatives
just aren't quite there yet,
just aren't quite there yet,
281
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2856
At alternativerne ikke findes endnu,
13:12
and that's not true.
282
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1336
og det passer ikke.
13:14
There are countries in the world right now
283
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2056
Lige nu, er der lande
13:16
that are living mostly on renewable
energy and doing just fine.
energy and doing just fine.
284
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3336
hvis hovedenergikilde er vedvarende
energi, og de klarer sig fint.
energi, og de klarer sig fint.
13:19
And they tell us that if we do
wean ourselves from fossil fuel
wean ourselves from fossil fuel
285
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4136
Og de siger at uden fossile brændstoffer
13:23
that we're going to be
back in the Stone Age,
back in the Stone Age,
286
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2136
vender vi tilbage til stenalderen,
13:25
and in fact, if we begin
to use renewable energy,
to use renewable energy,
287
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4176
for faktisk, hvis vi omstiller
til vedvarende energi,
til vedvarende energi,
13:30
and not drill in the Arctic,
and not drill --
and not drill --
288
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2166
og ikke borer på Antarktis,
og ikke borer --
og ikke borer --
13:32
LT: Oh, boy.
289
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1166
LT: Åh nej.
13:33
JF: And not drill
in the Alberta tar sands --
in the Alberta tar sands --
290
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2116
JF: Og ikke borer i Alberta tjæresand --
13:35
Right.
291
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1216
Rigtigt.
13:36
That we will be --
292
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1240
Så vil der være --
13:38
there will be more democracy
and more jobs and more well-being,
and more jobs and more well-being,
293
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3376
Der kommer mere demokrati, flere
jobs og større velbefindende,
jobs og større velbefindende,
13:41
and it's women that are
going to lead the way.
going to lead the way.
294
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2216
og kvinderne på lede på vej.
13:43
LT: Maybe we have the momentum
to start a third-wave feminist movement
to start a third-wave feminist movement
295
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4376
LT: Måske kan vi starte en tredje
bølge af den feministiske bevægelse
bølge af den feministiske bevægelse
13:48
with our sisterhood around the world,
296
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2576
med vores søsterlighed over hele verden,
13:50
with women we don't see,
women we may never meet,
women we may never meet,
297
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3176
med kvinder vi ikke kan se,
kvinder vi måske aldrig møder,
kvinder vi måske aldrig møder,
13:53
but we join together that way,
298
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2496
men vi holder sammen,
13:56
because --
299
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1216
fordi,
13:57
Aristotle said --
300
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1200
Aristoteles sagde --
13:59
most people --
301
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1216
de fleste --
14:01
people would die without male friendships.
302
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2896
mennesker dør uden mandlige venskaber
14:04
And the operative word here was "male."
303
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og det vigtige ord her er "mandlig".
14:07
Because they thought that friendships
should be between equals
should be between equals
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De tror nemlig at venskaber skal opstå
mellem ligemænd
mellem ligemænd
14:10
and women were not considered equal --
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og kvinder opfattes ikke som lige --
14:12
JF: They didn't think
we had souls even, the Greeks.
we had souls even, the Greeks.
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JF: Grækerne mener endda vi
ikke har sjæle.
ikke har sjæle.
14:15
LT: No, exactly. That shows you
just how limited Aristotle was.
just how limited Aristotle was.
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LT: Lige nøjagtig. Det viser hvor
begrænset Aristoteles var.
begrænset Aristoteles var.
14:18
(Laughter)
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(Latter)
14:21
And wait, no, here's the best part.
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Og vent, nu kommer det bedste.
14:23
It's like, you know,
men do need women now.
men do need women now.
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Mænd har brug for kvinder.
14:27
The planet needs women.
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Jorden har brug for kvinder.
14:29
The US Constitution needs women.
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USAs forfatning har brug for kvinder.
14:31
We are not even in the Constitution.
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Vi er end ikke nævnt i forfatningen.
14:34
JF: You're talking about
the Equal Rights Amendment.
the Equal Rights Amendment.
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JF: Du tænker på tilføjelsen vedr. ligestilling.
14:37
LT: Right.
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LT: Nemlig.
14:38
Justice Ginsberg said something like --
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Justice Ginsberg sagde noget
i retning af --
i retning af --
14:43
every constitution that's been written
since the end of World War II
since the end of World War II
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enhver forfatning skrevet siden
2. verdenskrig
2. verdenskrig
14:47
included a provision that made women
citizens of equal stature,
citizens of equal stature,
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indeholdt en sektion der ligestiller
kvinder med mænd,
kvinder med mænd,
14:52
but ours does not.
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men det gør vores ikke.
14:54
So that would be a good place to start.
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Så det er et godt sted at starte.
14:56
Very, very mild --
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Meget meget mild --
14:58
JF: Right.
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JF: Nemlig.
14:59
(Applause)
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(Bifald)
Og ligestilling mellem
køn er som tidevand,
køn er som tidevand,
15:02
And gender equality, it's like a tide,
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15:04
it would lift all boats, not just women.
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der løfter alle skibe, ikke kun kvinder.
15:06
PM: Needing new role models
on how to do that.
on how to do that.
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PM: Der er brug nye rollemodeller
der viser vejen.
der viser vejen.
15:09
How to be friends,
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Hvordan man bliver venner,
15:10
how to think about our power
in different ways,
in different ways,
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at tænke på energi på forskellig vis,
15:13
as consumers,
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og forbrugere,
15:15
as citizens of the world,
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som borgere i verden,
15:16
and this is what makes Jane and Lily
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og det er hvad Jane og Lily er
15:19
a role model of how
women can be friends --
women can be friends --
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en rollemodel på hvordan
man kan være venner --
man kan være venner --
15:21
for a very long time,
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i meget lang tid,
15:23
and even if they occasionally disagree.
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og selv når de ind imellem er uenige.
15:25
Thank you.
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Tak.
15:28
Thank you both.
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Tak til Jer begge.
15:29
(Applause)
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(Bifald)
15:30
JF: Thanks.
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JF: Tak.
15:35
LT: Thank you.
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LT: Tak.
15:36
JF: Thank you.
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JF: Tak.
15:38
(Applause)
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(Bifald)
ABOUT THE SPEAKERS
Jane Fonda - Actor and activistJane Fonda has had three extraordinary careers (so far): Oscar-winning actor, fitness guru, impassioned activist.
Why you should listen
Jane Fonda is an actor, author, producer and activist supporting environmental issues, peace and female empowerment. She founded the Georgia Campaign for Adolescent Pregnancy Prevention, and established the Jane Fonda Center for Adolescent Reproductive Health at Emory. She cofounded the Women’s Media Center, and sits on the board of V-Day, a global effort to stop violence against women and girls.
Fonda's remarkable screen and stage career includes two Best Actress Oscars, an Emmy, a Tony Award nomination and an Honorary Palme d’Or from the Cannes Film Festival. Offstage, she revolutionized the fitness industry in the 1980s with Jane Fonda’s Workout — the all-time top-grossing home video. She has written a best-selling memoir, My Life So Far, and Prime Time, a comprehensive guide to living life to the fullest.
Jane Fonda | Speaker | TED.com
Lily Tomlin - Comedian and actor
Lily Tomlin has been honored by the Kennedy Center and awarded the Mark Twain Prize -- and she's still making vital, hilarious comedy.
Why you should listen
Throughout her extraordinary career, Lily Tomlin has won seven Emmys; a Tony for her one-woman Broadway show, Appearing Nitely; a second Tony for Best Actress; a Drama Desk Award and an Outer Critics' Circle Award for her one-woman performance in Jane Wagner’s The Search for Signs of Intelligent Life in the Universe; a Grammy for her comedy album, This Is a Recording; and two Peabody Awards, the first for the ABC television special, Edith Ann’s Christmas: Just Say Noël, and the second for narrating and executive producing the HBO film, The Celluloid Closet. In 2003, she received the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor, and in December 2014 she was the recipient of the prestigious Kennedy Center Honors in Washington DC.
She made her film debut in Robert Altman's Nashville, and gave a generation-defining performance alongside Dolly Parton and Jane Fonda in the workplace revenge comedy 9 to 5.
Lily Tomlin | Speaker | TED.com