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Nikki Webber Allen: Don't suffer from your depression in silence
Nikki Webber Allen: Netrpte depresiou v tichosti
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Mať city nie je znakom slabosti – city znamenajú, že sme ľudia, hovorí producentka a aktivistka Nikki Webber Allen. Aj potom, ako jej bola diagnostikovaná úzkosť a depresia, Webber Allen sa cítila príliš zahanbená, aby o tom niekomu povedala a držala jej stav v tajnosti, až kým rodinná tragédia odhalila, že aj jej blízki trpeli. V tejto dôležitej prednáške o duševnom zdraví otvorene rozpráva o svojich problémoch – a prečo spoločnosti rôznej farby pleti musia anulovať stigmu, ktorá si mýli depresiu so slabosťou a bráni trpiacim žiadať o pomoc.
Nikki Webber Allen - Multimedia producer
Nikki Webber Allen is working to create a safe space for honest conversations about mental health in communities of color. Full bio
Nikki Webber Allen is working to create a safe space for honest conversations about mental health in communities of color. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
Čo robíš na tomto pódiu
00:12
What are you doing on this stage
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00:17
in front of all these people?
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pred všetkými týmito ľuďmi?
00:20
(Laughter)
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(smiech)
00:21
Run!
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Uteč!
00:23
(Laughter)
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(smiech)
00:24
Run now.
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Okamžite uteč!
00:26
That's the voice of my anxiety talking.
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To mi hovorí moja úzkosť.
Aj keď je úplne všetko v poriadku,
00:30
Even when there's absolutely
nothing wrong,
nothing wrong,
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niekedy cítim zdrvujúci pocit záhuby,
00:33
I sometimes get
this overwhelming sense of doom,
this overwhelming sense of doom,
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00:37
like danger is lurking
just around the corner.
just around the corner.
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akoby nebezpečie číhalo hneď za rohom.
00:41
You see, a few years ago,
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Viete, pred pár rokmi mi diagnostikovali
00:43
I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety
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generalizovanú úzkostnú poruchu
a depresiu.
a depresiu.
00:45
and depression --
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00:47
two conditions that often go hand in hand.
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Dva stavy, ktoré často idú ruka v ruke.
00:50
Now, there was a time
I wouldn't have told anybody,
I wouldn't have told anybody,
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Donedávna by som o tom vôbec nerozprávala,
00:54
especially not in front of a big audience.
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hlavne nie pred veľkým publikom.
00:56
As a black woman,
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Ako černoška
00:58
I've had to develop
extraordinary resilience to succeed.
extraordinary resilience to succeed.
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som sa musela naučiť byť
mimoriadne odolná, aby som uspela.
mimoriadne odolná, aby som uspela.
01:02
And like most people in my community,
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A ako väčšina ľudí v mojom okolí
01:04
I had the misconception that depression
was a sign of weakness,
was a sign of weakness,
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som si mylne myslela,
že depresia je znakom slabosti,
že depresia je znakom slabosti,
01:07
a character flaw.
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chybou osobnosti.
01:09
But I wasn't weak;
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Ale nebola som slabá.
01:11
I was a high achiever.
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Bola som úspešná.
Mám magistra z Masmediálnych štúdií
01:12
I'd earned a Master's degree
in Media Studies
in Media Studies
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01:15
and had a string of high-profile jobs
in the film and television industries.
in the film and television industries.
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a robila som na mnohých vysokých pozíciách
vo filmovom a televíznom priemysle.
vo filmovom a televíznom priemysle.
01:19
I'd even won two Emmy Awards
for my hard work.
for my hard work.
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Dokonca som za svoju pracovitosť
vyhrala dve ceny Emmy.
vyhrala dve ceny Emmy.
01:23
Sure, I was totally spent,
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Iste, bola som úplne vysilená,
01:26
I lacked interest in things
I used to enjoy,
I used to enjoy,
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chýbal mi záujem o veci,
ktoré som si zvykla užívať,
ktoré som si zvykla užívať,
01:29
barely ate,
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sotva som jedla,
01:30
struggled with insomnia
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bojovala som s nespavosťou
01:32
and felt isolated and depleted.
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a cítila som sa izolovaná a prázdna.
01:35
But depressed?
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Ale depresívna?
01:36
No, not me.
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Nie, to nie.
01:39
It took weeks before I could admit it,
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Trvalo mi týždne, kým som si to priznala,
01:42
but the doctor was right:
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ale doktor mal pravdu:
Mala som depresiu.
Mala som depresiu.
01:43
I was depressed.
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01:45
Still, I didn't tell anybody
about my diagnosis.
about my diagnosis.
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Aj tak som nikomu
o svojej diagnóze nepovedala.
o svojej diagnóze nepovedala.
01:49
I was too ashamed.
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Bola som príliš zahanbená.
01:51
I didn't think I had the right
to be depressed.
to be depressed.
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Nemyslela som si,
že mám právo mať depresiu.
že mám právo mať depresiu.
01:54
I had a privileged life
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Mala som privilegovaný život,
01:56
with a loving family
and a successful career.
and a successful career.
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milujúcu rodinu a úspešnú kariéru.
01:59
And when I thought about
the unspeakable horrors
the unspeakable horrors
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A keď som si spomenula
na tie hrozné horory,
na tie hrozné horory,
02:02
that my ancestors
had been through in this country
had been through in this country
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ktorými prešli moji predkovia
v tejto krajine,
v tejto krajine,
02:04
so that I could have it better,
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aby som sa ja mohla mať lepšie,
02:06
my shame grew even deeper.
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hanbila som sa ešte viac.
02:08
I was standing on their shoulders.
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Stála som na základoch, ktoré vybudovali.
02:11
How could I let them down?
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Ako by som ich mohla sklamať?
02:13
I would hold my head up,
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Chodila som s hlavou hore
a úsmevom na tvári
a úsmevom na tvári
02:15
put a smile on my face
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02:17
and never tell a soul.
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a nikomu som nič nepovedala.
02:22
On July 4, 2013,
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Štvrtého júla 2013
02:26
my world came crashing in on me.
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sa môj svet zrútil.
02:29
That was the day I got
a phone call from my mom
a phone call from my mom
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V teň deň mi zavolala moja mama
02:32
telling me that my 22-year-old nephew,
Paul, had ended his life,
Paul, had ended his life,
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a povedala mi, že môj 22-ročný synovec
Paul si vzal život
Paul si vzal život
02:36
after years of battling
depression and anxiety.
depression and anxiety.
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po rokoch boja s depresiou a úzkosťou.
02:40
There are no words that can describe
the devastation I felt.
the devastation I felt.
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Nemám slová, ktorými by som opísala,
ako zničene som sa cítila.
ako zničene som sa cítila.
Paul a ja sme si boli veľmi blízki,
02:44
Paul and I were very close,
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02:45
but I had no idea he was in so much pain.
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ale netušila som, že tak veľmi trpel.
02:48
Neither one of us had ever talked
to the other about our struggles.
to the other about our struggles.
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Nikdy sme si o svojich problémoch
navzájom nerozprávali.
navzájom nerozprávali.
02:52
The shame and stigma kept us both silent.
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Hanba a stigma nám v tom bránili.
02:56
Now, my way of dealing with adversity
is to face it head on,
is to face it head on,
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Ťažkostiam sa vždy postavím
so vztýčenou hlavou,
so vztýčenou hlavou,
03:00
so I spent the next two years
researching depression and anxiety,
researching depression and anxiety,
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a tak som strávila dva roky
študovaním depresie a úzkosti
študovaním depresie a úzkosti
03:03
and what I found was mind-blowing.
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a čo som zistila, bolo ohromujúce.
03:06
The World Health Organization reports
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Podľa Svetovej zdravotníckej organizácie
03:08
that depression is the leading cause
of sickness and disability
of sickness and disability
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je depresia hlavnou príčinou chorôb
a pracovnej neschopnosti na svete.
a pracovnej neschopnosti na svete.
03:14
in the world.
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03:16
While the exact cause
of depression isn't clear,
of depression isn't clear,
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Kým presná príčina depresie nie je jasná,
03:19
research suggests
that most mental disorders develop,
that most mental disorders develop,
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výskum tvrdí,
že väčšina mentálnych porúch sa rozvíja,
že väčšina mentálnych porúch sa rozvíja,
03:22
at least in part,
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aspoň sčasti, kvôli chemickej
nerovnováhe v mozgu,
nerovnováhe v mozgu,
03:23
because of a chemical
imbalance in the brain,
imbalance in the brain,
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03:26
and/or an underlying
genetic predisposition.
genetic predisposition.
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a/alebo genetickej predispozícii.
03:31
So you can't just shake it off.
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Takže sa z toho nemôžte len tak dostať.
03:34
For black Americans,
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Pre Afroameričanov,
03:36
stressors like racism
and socioeconomic disparities
and socioeconomic disparities
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vďaka problémom ako rasizmus
a socioekonomickým rozdielom,
a socioekonomickým rozdielom,
03:40
put them at a 20 percent greater risk
of developing a mental disorder,
of developing a mental disorder,
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je riziko rozvinutia duševnej
poruchy o 20 percent vyššie.
poruchy o 20 percent vyššie.
03:45
yet they seek mental health services
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Avšak na psychológa či psychiatra
sa obrátia
sa obrátia
03:48
at about half the rate of white Americans.
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len v polovici prípadov
v porovnaní s bielymi Američanmi.
v porovnaní s bielymi Američanmi.
03:51
One reason is the stigma,
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Jedným z dôvodov je stigma.
03:54
with 63 percent of black Americans
mistaking depression for a weakness.
mistaking depression for a weakness.
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63 percent Afroameričanov
mylne vníma depresiu ako slabosť.
mylne vníma depresiu ako slabosť.
04:01
Sadly, the suicide rate
among black children
among black children
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Smutné je, že miera samovrážd
medzi čiernymi deťmi
medzi čiernymi deťmi
04:05
has doubled in the past 20 years.
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sa v posledných 20 rokoch zdvojnásobila.
04:09
Now, here's the good news:
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Ale mám aj dobré správy.
04:12
seventy percent of people
struggling with depression will improve
struggling with depression will improve
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70 percentám ľudí
trpiacich depresiou sa stav zlepší
trpiacich depresiou sa stav zlepší
04:16
with therapy, treatment and medication.
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vďaka terapii, liečbe a liekom.
04:21
Armed with this information,
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Vyzbrojená týmito informáciami
som sa rozhodla.
som sa rozhodla.
04:23
I made a decision:
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04:24
I wasn't going to be silent anymore.
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Už viac nebudem ticho.
04:28
With my family's blessing,
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S požehnaním mojej rodiny
sa podelím o náš príbeh
sa podelím o náš príbeh
04:30
I would share our story
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04:32
in hopes of sparking
a national conversation.
a national conversation.
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s nádejou, že vyvolám
celonárodnú diskusiu.
celonárodnú diskusiu.
04:36
A friend, Kelly Pierre-Louis, said,
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Kamarátka, Kelly Pierre-Louis, povedala:
04:38
"Being strong is killing us."
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„Keď sme silní, zabíja nás to.“
04:42
She's right.
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Má pravdu.
04:44
We have got to retire
those tired, old narratives
those tired, old narratives
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Musíme zabudnúť na tie staré
stereotypy silnej čiernej ženy
stereotypy silnej čiernej ženy
04:48
of the strong black woman
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04:49
and the super-masculine black man,
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a super-mužného čierneho chlapa,
04:52
who, no matter how many times
they get knocked down,
they get knocked down,
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ktorí sa, bez ohľadu na to,
koľkokrát sú zrazení k zemi,
koľkokrát sú zrazení k zemi,
04:54
just shake it off and soldier on.
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vždy otrasú a pokračujú.
04:57
Having feelings isn't a sign of weakness.
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Ukázať city nie je znakom slabosti.
05:02
Feelings mean we're human.
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City znamenajú, že sme ľudia.
05:04
And when we deny our humanity,
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Keď poprieme našu ľudskosť,
zostane nám len pocit prázdnoty
zostane nám len pocit prázdnoty
05:06
it leaves us feeling empty inside,
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05:09
searching for ways to self-medicate
in order to fill the void.
in order to fill the void.
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a hľadáme cesty samoliečby,
aby sme tú prázdnotu zaplnili.
aby sme tú prázdnotu zaplnili.
05:12
My drug was high achievement.
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Mojím liekom boli veľké úspechy.
05:16
These days, I share my story openly,
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Dnes sa otvorene delím o svoj príbeh
05:19
and I ask others to share theirs, too.
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a žiadam iných,
aby sa tiež podelili o ten svoj.
aby sa tiež podelili o ten svoj.
Verím, že je to potrebné,
aby sme pomohli ľuďom,
aby sme pomohli ľuďom,
05:22
I believe that's what it takes
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05:23
to help people who may
be suffering in silence
be suffering in silence
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ktorí trpia v tichosti,
aby vedeli, že nie sú sami,
aby vedeli, že nie sú sami,
05:26
to know that they are not alone
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a aby vedeli, že s pomocou
sa môžu uzdraviť.
sa môžu uzdraviť.
05:28
and to know that with help,
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05:30
they can heal.
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05:31
Now, I still have my struggles,
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Stále mám problémy,
05:33
particularly with the anxiety,
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hlavne s úzkosťou,
ale dokážem ju kontrolovať
ale dokážem ju kontrolovať
05:36
but I'm able to manage it
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05:37
through daily mediation,
yoga and a relatively healthy diet.
yoga and a relatively healthy diet.
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vďaka každodennej meditácii,
joge a relatívne zdravej strave.
joge a relatívne zdravej strave.
05:42
(Laughter)
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(smiech)
05:43
If I feel like things
are starting to spiral,
are starting to spiral,
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Ak cítim, že sa veci začínajú zhoršovať,
05:46
I make an appointment to see my therapist,
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dohodnem si stretnutie u terapeutky,
05:48
a dynamic black woman
named Dawn Armstrong,
named Dawn Armstrong,
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dynamickej černošky menom Dawn Armstrong,
05:51
who has a great sense of humor
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ktorá má veľký zmysel pre humor
05:53
and a familiarity that I find comforting.
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a dôvernosť,
ktorú považujem za upokojujúcu.
ktorú považujem za upokojujúcu.
05:57
I will always regret
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Vždy budem ľutovať,
05:59
that I couldn't be there for my nephew.
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že som nemohla pomôcť môjmu synovcovi.
06:02
But my sincerest hope
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Ale mojou najúprimnejšou túžbou
06:04
is that I can inspire others
with the lesson that I've learned.
with the lesson that I've learned.
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je schopnosť inšpirovať ostatných
lekciou, ktorú som sa naučila.
lekciou, ktorú som sa naučila.
06:11
Life is beautiful.
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Život je krásny.
06:14
Sometimes it's messy,
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Niekedy je chaotický
a vždy je nepredvídateľný.
a vždy je nepredvídateľný.
06:16
and it's always unpredictable.
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06:19
But it will all be OK
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Ale všetko bude OK,
06:20
when you have your support system
to help you through it.
to help you through it.
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keď budete mať svoj systém podpory,
ktorý vám pomôže.
ktorý vám pomôže.
06:23
I hope that if your burden gets too heavy,
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Dúfam, že ak vaše bremeno
začne byť príliš ťažké,
začne byť príliš ťažké,
06:25
you'll ask for a hand, too.
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tiež požiadate o pomoc.
06:27
Thank you.
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Ďakujem.
06:28
(Applause)
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(potlesk)
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Nikki Webber Allen - Multimedia producerNikki Webber Allen is working to create a safe space for honest conversations about mental health in communities of color.
Why you should listen
Nikki Webber Allen is a two-time Emmy winner with 20 years of experience producing content for media outlets including Warner Bros., HBO, ABC, 20th Century Fox and BET.
In 2013, while working as the vice president of casting and talent relations for the cable network TV One, Webber Allen lost her 22-year old nephew, Paul, to suicide after his years of struggle with depression and anxiety. Since then, she's become a passionate mental health advocate.
In Paul's honor, she launched the nonprofit I LIVE FOR... FOUNDATION, INC. to create a safe space for honest, unapologetic conversations about mental health in communities of color, where the cultural stigma of mental illness discourages far too many people from seeking help. Michael Eric Dyson, advisor to the foundation, has called I LIVE FOR… "an incredibly important organization that offers much-needed support to those who too often suffer in silence."
Webber Allen is currently producing and directing a documentary film featuring a diverse group of compelling young men and women who reject the stigma of mental illness and share candid stories about their experiences living with depression and anxiety. The film is being scored by her husband, musician Jeffrey Allen of the Grammy-nominated R&B band Mint Condition.
In 2016, Webber Allen was one of only 47 people chosen out of more than 1,000 applicants worldwide to receive a coveted scholarship to Marie Forleo's B-School for social entrepreneurs. She has an M.A. in media studies from The New School University in New York, NY and a B.A. in communications from Rutgers University in New Brunswick, NJ.
Nikki Webber Allen | Speaker | TED.com