TEDxWomen 2012
Angela Patton: A father-daughter dance ... in prison
Анджела Патън: Танцът между баща и дъщеря... в затвора.
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910,148 views
В Камп Дива, Анджела Патън помага на дъщерите и бащите им да поддържат връзка в живота си. Но как стоят нещата с момичетата, чиито бащи са в затвора? Патън разказва историята на един много специален танц между баща и дъщеря.
Angela Patton - Activist
Angela Patton is an ambassador for who she calls "at-promise" (as opposed to "at-risk") girls and a serial innovator. Full bio
Angela Patton is an ambassador for who she calls "at-promise" (as opposed to "at-risk") girls and a serial innovator. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:17
I was sitting with my girls,
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Седях с момичетата ми
00:20
and Joy said,
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и Джой каза:
00:22
"Dang, I wish he'd get off my back.
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"Иска ми се баща ми да ме остави на мира.
00:26
My daddy, he calls me all the time."
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Звъни ми постоянно."
00:30
"Lucky for you he calls at all," said Jasmine.
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"Радвай се, че изобщо ти се обажда" - каза Джасмин.
00:33
"I haven't heard from my dad in years."
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"Аз моя не съм го чувала от години".
00:36
At this moment, I knew the girls needed a way
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Тогава осъзнах, че те трябваше да се сближат някък
00:41
to connect with their fathers.
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с бащите си.
00:43
At Camp Diva, my non-profit organization,
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В Камп Дива, организация с нестопанска цел,
00:47
we have these types of conversations all the time
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такива теми се обсъждат постоянно.
00:51
as a way to help girls of African descent
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Как да помогнем на момичетата от африкански произход
00:54
prepare for their passage into womanhood.
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през периода на тяхното развитие.
00:57
These girls just needed
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Тази момичета имат нужда
01:01
a way to invite their fathers into their lives
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да включат бащите си в личния си живот
01:05
on their own terms.
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по някакъв начин.
01:07
So I asked the girls,
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Затова ги попитах:
01:09
"How can we help other girls
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"Как може да помогнем на други момичета,
01:12
develop healthy relationships with their fathers?"
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да изградят здравословна връзка с бащите си?"
01:16
"Let's have a dance," one girl shouted,
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"Да организираме танци" - едно момиче се провикна,
01:21
and all the girls quickly backed her up.
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а останалите бързо я подкрепиха.
01:25
They started dreaming about the decorations,
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Те започнаха да си представят украсата,
01:28
invitations, the dresses they were going to wear,
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поканите, роклите, които щяха да носят
01:31
and what their fathers could and could not wear. (Laughter)
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и как щяха да са облечени бащите им.
01:36
It was off and running before I could even blink my eyes,
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Беше решено преди още да се усетя,
01:40
but even if I could have slowed down those girls,
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но дори да можех да им откажа,
01:44
I wouldn't have,
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нямаше да го сторя,
01:46
because one thing that I have learned
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защото начуих едно нещо,
01:48
from over a decade of working with girls
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от десетгодишния ми опит работейки с тях,
01:51
is that they already know what they need.
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че те винаги знаят какво искат.
01:54
The wisdom lives inside of them.
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Мъдростта е част от тях.
01:59
As long as they have infrastructure,
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Докато те имат инфраструктура,
02:02
mentorship and resources,
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наставник и ресурси,
02:04
they can build what they need,
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те могат да постигнат желаното,
02:07
not only to survive, but to thrive.
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не само, за да оцелеят, но и за да се развиват.
02:13
So we had a dance,
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И така, организирахме танци,
02:17
and girls and their fathers came in multitudes.
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на които присъстваха множество бащи и дъщери.
02:22
They were dressed to the nines.
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Бяха така изискани.
02:25
They acted sweet.
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Държаха се мило.
02:27
(Laughter)
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(Смях)
02:31
They acted silly.
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Държаха се глупаво.
02:32
They really enjoyed each other's company.
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Наслаждаваха се едни на други.
02:36
It was a huge success.
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Беше огромен успех.
02:38
And the girls decided to make it an annual event.
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Момичетата решиха да го направят годишно събитие.
02:44
So as the seasons changed,
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Измина година
02:46
and it was time to plan the dance again,
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и дойде време да се планират танците,
02:49
one girl named Brianna spoke up,
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едно момиче, на име Брияна
02:52
and she said,
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каза:
02:54
"My dad can't come to the dance,
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"Бащи ми не може да дойде на танците,
02:57
and this whole thing is making me sad."
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което ме натъжава."
03:01
"Why not?" the girls asked.
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"И защо не може да дойде" - попитаха осталите.
03:04
"Because he's in jail," she bravely admitted.
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"Защото е в затвора." - едва, но смело го каза тя.
03:09
"Well, can he just get out for a day?" one of the girls asked. (Laughter)
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"Не може ли да излезе за ден?" - попита едно от момичетата.
03:14
"And come in shackles?
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"И да дойде с белезници?
03:17
That's worse than not having him here at all."
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По-добре изобщо да не идва."
03:21
At this moment, I saw an opportunity
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В този момент се отвори възможност
03:26
for the girls to rise to the occasion
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момичетата да се възползват от случката
03:29
and to become their own heroes.
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и да се превърнат в герои.
03:31
So I asked, "What do you think we should do about this?
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Затова попитах какво мислят, че трябва да сторим
03:36
We want every girl to experience the dance, right?"
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за да може всяко момиче да отиде на танците?"
03:41
So the girls thought for a moment,
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Момичетата се замислиха
03:43
and one girl suggested,
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и едно от тях предложи
03:45
"Why don't we just take the dance in the jail?"
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да проведем танците в затвора.
03:50
Most of the girls doubted the possibility of that,
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Повечето момичетата се усъмниха в това,
03:54
and said, "Are you crazy?
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като го нарекоха лудост.
03:56
Who is going to allow a bunch of little girls,
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Кой би позволил на малки момичета
03:59
dressed up — " (Laughter)
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с рокли,
04:02
" — to come inside a jail and dance with their daddies in Spongebob suits?"
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да влязат в затвора и да танцуват с бащите си, облечени като Спундж Боб.
04:07
Because that's what they called them.
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Така им казваха на униформите.
04:11
I said, "Girls, well, well,
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Аз казах,
04:15
you never know unless you ask."
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че никога не знаеш, докато не попиташ.
04:19
So a letter was written to the Richmond City Sheriff,
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Затова написах писмо на градския шериф,
04:23
signed collectively by each girl,
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подписано от всяко едно момиче
04:27
and I would have to say, he is a very special sheriff.
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и трябва да кажа, че той е специален шериф.
04:33
He contacted me immediately and said,
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Свърза се с мен веднага и ми каза,
04:37
whenever there is an opportunity to bring families inside,
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че щом има възможност да се съберат семейства,
04:43
his doors are always open.
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той винаги ще съдейства.
04:47
Because one thing he did know,
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Защото той е разбрал,
04:49
that when fathers are connected to their children,
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че когато бащите общуват с децата си,
04:52
it is less likely that they will return.
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вероятността да се върнат в затвора е по-малка.
04:57
So,
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И така,
04:59
16 inmates and 18 girls were invited.
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16 затворници и 18 момичета бяха поканени.
05:05
The girls were dressed in their Sunday best,
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Момичетата бяха облечени в красиви рокли,
05:09
and the fathers traded in their yellow and blue jumpsuits
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а бащите замениха жълтите и сини униформи
05:14
for shirts and ties.
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с ризи и врътовръзки.
05:18
They hugged.
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Те се прегръщаха.
05:21
They shared a full catered meal of chicken and fish.
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Ядоха риба и пилешко.
05:25
They laughed together.
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Смееха се заедно.
05:29
It was beautiful.
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Беше красиво.
05:34
The fathers and daughters even experienced
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Бащите и дъщерите им имаха възможността
05:38
an opportunity to have a physical connection,
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да имат физически допир.
05:42
something that a lot of them didn't even have
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Нещо, което някои от тях не са изпитвали
05:45
for a while.
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от доста време.
05:46
Fathers were in a space where they were able to
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Бащите бяха в позиция
05:50
make their daughters play,
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да играят с дъщерите си,
05:53
and pull out her chair and extend his hand for a dance.
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да им дърпат стола, за да седнат, да ги канят на танц.
05:59
Even the guards cried.
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Дори охраната плака.
06:03
But after the dance,
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Но след танците,
06:06
we all realized that Dad still would be in jail.
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всички осъзнаваха, че баща им остава в затвора.
06:11
So we needed to create something
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Затова трябваше да направим нещо,
06:14
that they could take with them.
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което да оставим при тях.
06:16
So we brought in Flip cams,
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Затова купихме малки камери,
06:19
and we had them look at the Flip cams
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с които ги накарахме взаимно
06:21
and just interview each other --
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да си задават въпроси,
06:23
their messages, their thoughts.
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да отправят послание, да изразяват мисли.
06:27
This was going to be used as a touchstone
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Това щеше да е спомен
06:30
so when they started to miss each other
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и когато започнат да си липсват
06:32
and feel disconnected,
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и да се чувстват отчуждени,
06:35
they could reconnect through this image.
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могат да си напомнят за тях чрез клиповете.
06:38
I'll never forget that one girl looked in her father's eyes
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Няма да забравя как едно от момичетата погледна баща си,
06:43
with that camera and said,
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снимайки го с камерата и попита:
06:45
"Daddy, when you look at me, what do you see?"
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"Татко, като ме гледаш, какво виждаш?"
06:52
Because our daddies are our mirrors
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Защото бащите са отражение
06:56
that we reflect back on
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към което се страем
06:58
when we decide about what type of man we deserve,
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при избора си на мъж, когото заслужаваме
07:03
and how they see us for the rest of our lives.
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и как той ще гледа на нас до края на живота ни.
07:06
I know that very well,
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Знам това много добре,
07:10
because I was one of the lucky girls.
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защото аз бях една от щастливките.
07:12
I have had
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Баща ми винаги
07:18
my father in my life always.
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е бил част от моя живот.
07:24
He's even here today.
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Той дори е тук днес.
07:26
(Applause)
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(Аплодисменти)
07:35
And that is why it is extremely special
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Ето защо е изключително важно
07:39
for me to make sure that these girls
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за мен да се уверя, че тези момичета
07:42
are connected to their fathers,
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са близки с бащите си,
07:45
especially those who are separated
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особено, онези, които ги дели
07:48
because of barbed wires and metal doors.
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бодливата тел и металните врати.
07:53
We have just created a form
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Направихме възможно
07:56
for girls who have heavy questions on their heart
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за момичетата, които ги измъчват въпроси
07:59
to be in a position to ask their fathers those questions
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да могат да ги зададат на бащите си
08:04
and given the fathers the freedom to answer.
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и да имат възможност да получат отговор.
08:08
Because we know that the fathers
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Защото всички знаем, че бащите
08:12
are even leaving with this one thought:
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стигат до заключението:
08:15
What type of woman am I preparing to put in the world?
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"Що за човек ще стане моето момиче?"
08:20
Because a father is locked in
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Фактът, че един баща е заключен
08:24
does not mean he should be locked out
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не означава, че той трябва да е извън
08:27
of his daughter's life.
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живота на дъщеря си.
08:29
(Applause)
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(Аплодисменти)
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Angela Patton - ActivistAngela Patton is an ambassador for who she calls "at-promise" (as opposed to "at-risk") girls and a serial innovator.
Why you should listen
As the leader and CEO of Girls For A Change (GFAC), Angela Patton is committed to "preparing black girls for the world ... and the world for black Girls. Patton founded Camp Diva in Richmond, Virginia in 2004, to honor Diva Mstadi Smith-Roan, a five-year-old who died in a firearm accident earlier that year. That summer, Patton planned a two-week experience that gave Diva's mother an opportunity to share her motherly love with girls in need of a support system. The program grew and went national in October 2013, when Camp Diva merged with California-based Girls For A Change, a nonprofit through which 100 girls' groups throughout nation work together to envision and execute lasting change in their neighborhoods, cities or schools. In the summer of 2016, Patton lead her board and staff to retool the organization's focus and build a program structure to more accurately reflect GFAC's goal to work with black girls and to disseminate our programs using a specific, replicable approach.
Following the release of Patton's TED Talk describing a father-daughter dance for incarcerated dads and their "at-promise" girls, her work was featured on ABC World News, Inside Edition, NPR and This is Life Lisa Ling. She has spoken for corporations, at conferences on girls as well as colleges and universities throughout the country. When she isn't inspiring change, advocating gender equality and empowering girls, she enjoys festivals and concerts with her husband and motivator, Raymond Patton, and their loving children, Imhotep and Asani.
Angela Patton | Speaker | TED.com