TEDxWomen 2012
Angela Patton: A father-daughter dance ... in prison
Angela Patton: Ples očetov in hčera...v zaporu
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V Kampu Diva, Angela Patton pomaga dekletom in očetom, da ostanejo povezani in v življenju drug drugega. Ampak kaj pa je z dekleti, katerih očetje ne morejo biti prisotni, ker so v zaporu? Patton pove zgodbo o zelo posebnem plesu očetov in hčera.
(Posneto na TEDxWomen)
Angela Patton - Activist
Angela Patton is an ambassador for who she calls "at-promise" (as opposed to "at-risk") girls and a serial innovator. Full bio
Angela Patton is an ambassador for who she calls "at-promise" (as opposed to "at-risk") girls and a serial innovator. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:17
I was sitting with my girls,
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Sedela sem s svojimi dekleti
00:20
and Joy said,
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in Joy je rekla:
00:22
"Dang, I wish he'd get off my back.
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"Pišuka, želim si, da bi mi nehal težiti.
00:26
My daddy, he calls me all the time."
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Moj oči, neprestano me kliče."
00:30
"Lucky for you he calls at all," said Jasmine.
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"Bodi srečna, da te sploh kliče," je rekla Jasmine.
00:33
"I haven't heard from my dad in years."
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"Jaz se s svojim nisem pogovarjala že leta."
00:36
At this moment, I knew the girls needed a way
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V tem trenutku sem vedela, da morajo dekleta najti način,
00:41
to connect with their fathers.
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da bi se povezale s svojimi očeti.
00:43
At Camp Diva, my non-profit organization,
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V Kampu diva, moji neprofitni organizaciji,
00:47
we have these types of conversations all the time
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imamo take pogovore kar naprej,
00:51
as a way to help girls of African descent
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da bi lahko pomagali dekletom afriškega porekla
00:54
prepare for their passage into womanhood.
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in jih pripravili na prehod v ženskost.
00:57
These girls just needed
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Ta dekleta so samo potrebovala
01:01
a way to invite their fathers into their lives
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način, da bi svoje očete povabile v svoje življenje
01:05
on their own terms.
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pod svojimi pogoji.
01:07
So I asked the girls,
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Dekleta sem zato vprašala:
01:09
"How can we help other girls
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"Kako lahko pomagamo drugim dekletom,
01:12
develop healthy relationships with their fathers?"
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da bi s svojimi očeti razvile zdrav odnos?"
01:16
"Let's have a dance," one girl shouted,
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"Imejmo ples", je zaklicala ena izmed deklet
01:21
and all the girls quickly backed her up.
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in vse ostale so jo takoj podprle.
01:25
They started dreaming about the decorations,
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Začele so sanjati o okraskih,
01:28
invitations, the dresses they were going to wear,
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vabilih, oblekah, ki jih bi oblekle,
01:31
and what their fathers could and could not wear. (Laughter)
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in o tem, kaj bi lahko in česa ne bi smeli obleči njihovi očetje. (smeh)
01:36
It was off and running before I could even blink my eyes,
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Odvijati se je začelo, preden sem sploh lahko pomižiknila,
01:40
but even if I could have slowed down those girls,
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a tudi, če bi lahko upočasnila ta dekleta,
01:44
I wouldn't have,
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jih ne bi,
01:46
because one thing that I have learned
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ker sem se v desetletju
01:48
from over a decade of working with girls
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dela z dekleti naučila,
01:51
is that they already know what they need.
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da one že vedo kaj potrebujejo.
01:54
The wisdom lives inside of them.
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Modrost leži v njih.
01:59
As long as they have infrastructure,
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Dokler imajo strukturo,
02:02
mentorship and resources,
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mentorstvo in sredstva,
02:04
they can build what they need,
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lahko zgradijo to, kar potrebujejo,
02:07
not only to survive, but to thrive.
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ne le da bi preživele, ampak da bi uspevale.
02:13
So we had a dance,
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Tako smo imeli ples
02:17
and girls and their fathers came in multitudes.
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in dekleta in njihovi očetje so prišli v množicah.
02:22
They were dressed to the nines.
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Bili so pražnje oblečeni.
02:25
They acted sweet.
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Lepo so se obnašali.
02:27
(Laughter)
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(smeh)
02:31
They acted silly.
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Zabavali so se.
02:32
They really enjoyed each other's company.
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Res so uživali v družbi drug drugega.
02:36
It was a huge success.
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Velik uspeh je bil.
02:38
And the girls decided to make it an annual event.
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In dekleta so se odločila, da bo to postala letna zadeva.
02:44
So as the seasons changed,
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Ko se je leto zavrtelo
02:46
and it was time to plan the dance again,
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in je bil čas za ponovno načrtovanje plesa,
02:49
one girl named Brianna spoke up,
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je ena izmed deklet, Brianna, spregovorila
02:52
and she said,
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in rekla:
02:54
"My dad can't come to the dance,
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"Moj oči ne more na ples
02:57
and this whole thing is making me sad."
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in vse skupaj me žalosti."
03:01
"Why not?" the girls asked.
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"Zakaj pa ne?" so vprašala dekleta.
03:04
"Because he's in jail," she bravely admitted.
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Pogumno je priznala: "Ker je v zaporu."
03:09
"Well, can he just get out for a day?" one of the girls asked. (Laughter)
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Ena izmed deklet je vprašala: "Ali ne more ven samo za en dan?" (smeh)
03:14
"And come in shackles?
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"In da pride v lisicah?"
03:17
That's worse than not having him here at all."
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"To bi bilo huje, kot to da ga sploh ne bo."
03:21
At this moment, I saw an opportunity
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V tem trenutku sem videla priložnost,
03:26
for the girls to rise to the occasion
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da bi dekleta vzele stvari v svoje roke
03:29
and to become their own heroes.
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in postale svoje junakinje.
03:31
So I asked, "What do you think we should do about this?
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Vprašala sem: "Kaj mislite, da naj storimo glede tega?
03:36
We want every girl to experience the dance, right?"
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Želimo si, da bi vsa dekleta šla na ples, kajne?"
03:41
So the girls thought for a moment,
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Dekleta so za trenutek pomislile
03:43
and one girl suggested,
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in eno dekle je predlagalo:
03:45
"Why don't we just take the dance in the jail?"
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"Zakaj pa nimamo plesa kar v zaporu?"
03:50
Most of the girls doubted the possibility of that,
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Večina deklet je dvomila v to možnost
03:54
and said, "Are you crazy?
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in rekle so: "A si zmešana?
03:56
Who is going to allow a bunch of little girls,
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Kdo bo pustil tropu mladih deklet,
03:59
dressed up — " (Laughter)
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ki so lepo napravljene (smeh)
04:02
" — to come inside a jail and dance with their daddies in Spongebob suits?"
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da pridejo v zapor in imajo ples z očeti, ki so v kombinezonih?"
04:07
Because that's what they called them.
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Tako temu pravijo.
04:11
I said, "Girls, well, well,
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Rekla sem: "Dekleta, no no,
04:15
you never know unless you ask."
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nikoli ne boste vedele, če ne vprašate."
04:19
So a letter was written to the Richmond City Sheriff,
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Mestnemu šerifu Richmonda je bilo poslano pismo,
04:23
signed collectively by each girl,
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ki so ga podpisala vsa dekleta,
04:27
and I would have to say, he is a very special sheriff.
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in povedati moram, da je zelo poseben šerif.
04:33
He contacted me immediately and said,
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Takoj me je kontaktiral in rekel,
04:37
whenever there is an opportunity to bring families inside,
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če obstaja možnost, da bi pripeljali družine,
04:43
his doors are always open.
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so njegova vrata vedno odprta.
04:47
Because one thing he did know,
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Zavedal se je,
04:49
that when fathers are connected to their children,
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da, če so očetje povezani s svojimi otroci,
04:52
it is less likely that they will return.
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je možnost, da se bodo vrnili, manjša.
04:57
So,
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Torej.
04:59
16 inmates and 18 girls were invited.
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Povabili smo 16 zapornikov in 18 deklet.
05:05
The girls were dressed in their Sunday best,
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Dekleta so bila pražnje oblečena
05:09
and the fathers traded in their yellow and blue jumpsuits
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in očetje so svoje rumeno-modre kombinezone
05:14
for shirts and ties.
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zamenjali za srajce in kravate.
05:18
They hugged.
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Objemali so se.
05:21
They shared a full catered meal of chicken and fish.
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Skupaj so jedli postreženo ribo in piščanca.
05:25
They laughed together.
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Smejali so se skupaj.
05:29
It was beautiful.
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Prelepo je bilo.
05:34
The fathers and daughters even experienced
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Očetje in hčere so celo izkusili,
05:38
an opportunity to have a physical connection,
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kako je imeti fizičen stik,
05:42
something that a lot of them didn't even have
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kar veliko izmed njih ni imelo
05:45
for a while.
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dolgo časa.
05:46
Fathers were in a space where they were able to
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Očetje so bili v prostoru, v katerem so se lahko
05:50
make their daughters play,
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s hčerami igrali,
05:53
and pull out her chair and extend his hand for a dance.
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jim pristavili stol in jim dali roko za ples.
05:59
Even the guards cried.
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Celo pazniki so jokali.
06:03
But after the dance,
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A po plesu
06:06
we all realized that Dad still would be in jail.
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smo se vsi zavedli, da bo oči še vedno v ječi.
06:11
So we needed to create something
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Morali smo ustvariti nekaj,
06:14
that they could take with them.
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kar bi lahko vzeli s seboj.
06:16
So we brought in Flip cams,
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Prinesli smo kamere
06:19
and we had them look at the Flip cams
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in smo jim rekli, da naj gledajo vanje
06:21
and just interview each other --
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ter se samo pogovarjajo
06:23
their messages, their thoughts.
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o sporočilih, o mislih.
06:27
This was going to be used as a touchstone
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To naj bi predstavljalo stik,
06:30
so when they started to miss each other
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da se bodo, kadar bodo začeli pogrešati drug drugega
06:32
and feel disconnected,
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in se bodo počutili odrezane,
06:35
they could reconnect through this image.
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lahko s to podobo ponovno povezali.
06:38
I'll never forget that one girl looked in her father's eyes
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Nikoli ne bom pozabila dekleta, ki se je zazrla v očetove oči
06:43
with that camera and said,
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skozi kamero in rekla:
06:45
"Daddy, when you look at me, what do you see?"
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"Oči, ko me pogledaš, kaj vidiš?"
06:52
Because our daddies are our mirrors
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Naši očetje so naša ogledala,
06:56
that we reflect back on
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o katerih razmišljamo,
06:58
when we decide about what type of man we deserve,
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ko se odločamo o tem, kakšnega moškega si zaslužimo,
07:03
and how they see us for the rest of our lives.
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in kako nas vidijo celo življenje.
07:06
I know that very well,
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Tega se dobro zavedam,
07:10
because I was one of the lucky girls.
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ker sem imela sama srečo.
07:12
I have had
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Očeta
07:18
my father in my life always.
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sem vedno imela v življenju.
07:24
He's even here today.
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Tudi danes je tukaj.
07:26
(Applause)
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(aplavz)
07:35
And that is why it is extremely special
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In zato je zame izjemno pomembno,
07:39
for me to make sure that these girls
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da poskrbim, da so ta dekleta
07:42
are connected to their fathers,
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povezana s svojimi očeti,
07:45
especially those who are separated
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še posebej tista, ki so od njih ločena
07:48
because of barbed wires and metal doors.
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zaradi bodeče žice in kovinskih vrat.
07:53
We have just created a form
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Ustvarili smo nekaj
07:56
for girls who have heavy questions on their heart
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za dekleta, ki jim na srcu ležijo težka vprašanja,
07:59
to be in a position to ask their fathers those questions
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da lahko ta postavijo svojim očetom
08:04
and given the fathers the freedom to answer.
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in dajo svojim očetom svobodo, da lahko odgovorijo.
08:08
Because we know that the fathers
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Ker se zavedamo, da tudi očetje
08:12
are even leaving with this one thought:
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odhajajo z eno samo mislijo:
08:15
What type of woman am I preparing to put in the world?
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"Kakšno žensko pripravljam, ki bo šla v svet?"
08:20
Because a father is locked in
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Samo zato ker je oče zaprt,
08:24
does not mean he should be locked out
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ne pomeni, da bi moral biti izključen
08:27
of his daughter's life.
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iz hčerinega življenja.
08:29
(Applause)
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(aplavz)
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Angela Patton - ActivistAngela Patton is an ambassador for who she calls "at-promise" (as opposed to "at-risk") girls and a serial innovator.
Why you should listen
As the leader and CEO of Girls For A Change (GFAC), Angela Patton is committed to "preparing black girls for the world ... and the world for black Girls. Patton founded Camp Diva in Richmond, Virginia in 2004, to honor Diva Mstadi Smith-Roan, a five-year-old who died in a firearm accident earlier that year. That summer, Patton planned a two-week experience that gave Diva's mother an opportunity to share her motherly love with girls in need of a support system. The program grew and went national in October 2013, when Camp Diva merged with California-based Girls For A Change, a nonprofit through which 100 girls' groups throughout nation work together to envision and execute lasting change in their neighborhoods, cities or schools. In the summer of 2016, Patton lead her board and staff to retool the organization's focus and build a program structure to more accurately reflect GFAC's goal to work with black girls and to disseminate our programs using a specific, replicable approach.
Following the release of Patton's TED Talk describing a father-daughter dance for incarcerated dads and their "at-promise" girls, her work was featured on ABC World News, Inside Edition, NPR and This is Life Lisa Ling. She has spoken for corporations, at conferences on girls as well as colleges and universities throughout the country. When she isn't inspiring change, advocating gender equality and empowering girls, she enjoys festivals and concerts with her husband and motivator, Raymond Patton, and their loving children, Imhotep and Asani.
Angela Patton | Speaker | TED.com