TEDxWomen 2012
Angela Patton: A father-daughter dance ... in prison
Angela Patton: Nje ballo per baba-vajze... ne burg.
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Ne kampin Diva, Angela Patton punon per te ndihmuar vajzat dhe baballaret te qendrojne te lidhur dhe ne jetet e njeri tjetrit. Por cfare ndodh me vajzat qe i nuk mund ti kene baballaret aty --sepse ata jane ne burg? Patton tregon nje histori per nje ballo te vecante baba-vajze. (E filmuar ne TEDxWomen)
Angela Patton - Activist
Angela Patton is an ambassador for who she calls "at-promise" (as opposed to "at-risk") girls and a serial innovator. Full bio
Angela Patton is an ambassador for who she calls "at-promise" (as opposed to "at-risk") girls and a serial innovator. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
00:17
I was sitting with my girls,
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Isha ulur me vajzat e mia,
00:20
and Joy said,
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dhe Joy tha,
00:22
"Dang, I wish he'd get off my back.
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"E marte e mira, do doja te me hiqej qafe.
00:26
My daddy, he calls me all the time."
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Babai im, me telefonon gjithe kohes."
00:30
"Lucky for you he calls at all," said Jasmine.
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"Lum ti qe te telefonon", tha Jasmine.
00:33
"I haven't heard from my dad in years."
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"Kam vite pa u degjuar me babain tim."
00:36
At this moment, I knew the girls needed a way
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Ne kete moment, e dija qe vajzave u duhej nje menyre
00:41
to connect with their fathers.
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per tu lidhur me baballaret e tyre.
00:43
At Camp Diva, my non-profit organization,
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Ne kampin Diva, organizata ime jo-fitimprurese,
00:47
we have these types of conversations all the time
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bejme keto tip bisedash gjithe kohes
00:51
as a way to help girls of African descent
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si nje menyre per te ndihmuar vajzat me prejardhje Afrikane
00:54
prepare for their passage into womanhood.
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te pergatiten per te hyre ne moshen e gruas.
00:57
These girls just needed
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Ketyre vajzave u nevojitej thjesht
01:01
a way to invite their fathers into their lives
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nje menyre per te ftuar baballaret ne jetet e tyre
01:05
on their own terms.
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sipas rregullave te tyre.
01:07
So I asked the girls,
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Pra i pyeta vajzat,
01:09
"How can we help other girls
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"Si mund te ndihmojme vajza te tjera
01:12
develop healthy relationships with their fathers?"
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te zhvillojne nje lidhje te shendetshme me baballaret e tyre?"
01:16
"Let's have a dance," one girl shouted,
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"Le te bejme nje ballo," bertiti njera nga vajzat,
01:21
and all the girls quickly backed her up.
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dhe te gjitha vajzat menjehere e mbeshteten.
01:25
They started dreaming about the decorations,
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Filluan te enderronin per zbukurimet,
01:28
invitations, the dresses they were going to wear,
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ftesat, fustanet qe do te vishnin,
01:31
and what their fathers could and could not wear. (Laughter)
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dhe cfare do vishnin apo jo baballaret e tyre. (Te qeshura)
01:36
It was off and running before I could even blink my eyes,
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Ishte vendosur sa hap e mbyll syte,
01:40
but even if I could have slowed down those girls,
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por edhe nese do mundesha ti ngadalsoja keto vajza,
01:44
I wouldn't have,
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nuk do e beja,
01:46
because one thing that I have learned
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sepse nje nga gjerat qe kam mesuar
01:48
from over a decade of working with girls
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per me shume se nje dekade duke punuar me vajza
01:51
is that they already know what they need.
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eshte se ato e dine cfare kerkojne.
01:54
The wisdom lives inside of them.
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Mencuria jeton brenda tyre.
01:59
As long as they have infrastructure,
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Per sa kohe ato te kene infrastrukture,
02:02
mentorship and resources,
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mentorim dhe burime,
02:04
they can build what they need,
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ato mund te ndertojne cfare u nevojitet,
02:07
not only to survive, but to thrive.
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jo vetem per te mbijetuar por dhe per te lulezuar.
02:13
So we had a dance,
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Keshtu e kryem ballon,
02:17
and girls and their fathers came in multitudes.
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vajzat dhe baballaret e tyre erdhen ne turma.
02:22
They were dressed to the nines.
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Ishin veshur ne menyre perfekte.
02:25
They acted sweet.
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Ato silleshin ne menyre te embel.
02:27
(Laughter)
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(Te qeshura)
02:31
They acted silly.
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Vepronin ne menyre qesharake.
02:32
They really enjoyed each other's company.
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Ata vertet e shijonin shoqerine e njeri tjetri.
02:36
It was a huge success.
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Ishte nje sukses shume i madh.
02:38
And the girls decided to make it an annual event.
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Dhe vajzat vendosen ta bejne nje eveniment te pervitshem.
02:44
So as the seasons changed,
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Pra ndersa stinet kalonin,
02:46
and it was time to plan the dance again,
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dhe ishte koha per te planifikuar ballon perseri,
02:49
one girl named Brianna spoke up,
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nje vajze e quajtur Brianna foli,
02:52
and she said,
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dhe tha,
02:54
"My dad can't come to the dance,
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"Babai im nuk mund te vije ne ballo,
02:57
and this whole thing is making me sad."
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dhe e gjitha kjo me trishton."
03:01
"Why not?" the girls asked.
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"Pse jo?" pyeten vajzat.
03:04
"Because he's in jail," she bravely admitted.
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"Sepse ai eshte ne burg," pranoi ajo me guxim.
03:09
"Well, can he just get out for a day?" one of the girls asked. (Laughter)
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"Po mire, nuk mund te dale vetem per nje dite?" pyeti njera nga vajzat. (Te qeshura)
03:14
"And come in shackles?
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"Dhe te vije ne pranga?
03:17
That's worse than not having him here at all."
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Ajo eshte me keq se sa fakti qe nuk do e kem ketu."
03:21
At this moment, I saw an opportunity
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Ne kete moment, pashe nje mundesi
03:26
for the girls to rise to the occasion
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per vajzat qe te arrinin ne kete rast
03:29
and to become their own heroes.
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dhe te beheshin heroinat e vetvetes.
03:31
So I asked, "What do you think we should do about this?
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Pra pyeta, "Cfare mendoni se mund te bejme per kete?
03:36
We want every girl to experience the dance, right?"
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Duam qe cdo vajze te provoje eksperiencen e ballos, apo jo?"
03:41
So the girls thought for a moment,
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Vajzat u menduan per nje moment,
03:43
and one girl suggested,
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dhe nje nga vajzat sugjeroi,
03:45
"Why don't we just take the dance in the jail?"
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"Pse nuk e bejme ballon ne burg?"
03:50
Most of the girls doubted the possibility of that,
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Shume nga vajzat dyshuan per kete mundesi,
03:54
and said, "Are you crazy?
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dhe i thane, "Je e cmendur?
03:56
Who is going to allow a bunch of little girls,
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Kush do lejoje nje tufe me vajza te vogla,
03:59
dressed up — " (Laughter)
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te veshura mire-- (Te qeshura)
04:02
" — to come inside a jail and dance with their daddies in Spongebob suits?"
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"-- te futen brenda ne burg dhe te kercejne me baballaret e tyre ne kostumet e Spongebob?"
04:07
Because that's what they called them.
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Sepse keshtu i therisnin.
04:11
I said, "Girls, well, well,
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Thash, "Ne rregull vajza,
04:15
you never know unless you ask."
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asnjehere nuk mund ta dime nese nuk pyesim."
04:19
So a letter was written to the Richmond City Sheriff,
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Dhe keshtu u shkrua nje leter tek sherifi i qytetit Richmond,
04:23
signed collectively by each girl,
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e firmosur kolektivisht nga secila vajze,
04:27
and I would have to say, he is a very special sheriff.
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dhe me duhet te them, se ai eshte nje sherif shume i vecante.
04:33
He contacted me immediately and said,
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Ai me kontaktoi menjehere dhe me tha,
04:37
whenever there is an opportunity to bring families inside,
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sa here te kete nje mundesi per te futur familjet brenda,
04:43
his doors are always open.
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dyert e tij jane perhere te hapura.
04:47
Because one thing he did know,
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Sepse ai dinte me siguri,
04:49
that when fathers are connected to their children,
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se kur baballaret lidheshin me femijet e tyre,
04:52
it is less likely that they will return.
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ka shume pak mundesi qe ate te rikthehen.
04:57
So,
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Dhe keshtu,
04:59
16 inmates and 18 girls were invited.
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16 te burgosur dhe 18 vajza u ftuan.
05:05
The girls were dressed in their Sunday best,
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Vajzat u veshen si per dite te Diel,
05:09
and the fathers traded in their yellow and blue jumpsuits
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dhe baballaret nderruan kostumet e tyre te verdha e blu
05:14
for shirts and ties.
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me kemisha dhe kollare.
05:18
They hugged.
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Ata u perqafuan.
05:21
They shared a full catered meal of chicken and fish.
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Drekuan sebashku me ushqim te shtruar me pule dhe peshk.
05:25
They laughed together.
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Ata qeshen sebashku.
05:29
It was beautiful.
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Ishte shume e bukur.
05:34
The fathers and daughters even experienced
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Madje baballaret dhe vajzat provuan
05:38
an opportunity to have a physical connection,
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nje mundesi per te patur lidhje fizike
05:42
something that a lot of them didn't even have
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dicka qe shume nga ata nuk e kishin
05:45
for a while.
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per shume kohe.
05:46
Fathers were in a space where they were able to
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Baballaret ndodheshin ne nje hapesire ku kishin mundesi
05:50
make their daughters play,
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per te luajtur me vajzat e tyre,
05:53
and pull out her chair and extend his hand for a dance.
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dhe ti terhiqnin karriget dhe ti zgjasnin doren per nje vallezim.
05:59
Even the guards cried.
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Madje edhe rojet u preken.
06:03
But after the dance,
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Por pas vallezimit,
06:06
we all realized that Dad still would be in jail.
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te gjithe e kuptuam se baballaret do ishin perseri ne burg.
06:11
So we needed to create something
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Pra na duhej te krijonim dicka
06:14
that they could take with them.
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qe ata te mund ta merrnin me vete.
06:16
So we brought in Flip cams,
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Keshtu sollem kamerat regjistruese
06:19
and we had them look at the Flip cams
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dhe i vendosem ata duke pare kamerat
06:21
and just interview each other --
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dhe thjesht intervistonin njeri tjetrin--
06:23
their messages, their thoughts.
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mesazhet dhe mendimet e tyre.
06:27
This was going to be used as a touchstone
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Kjo do perdorej si nje gur prove
06:30
so when they started to miss each other
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ne menyre qe kur te fillonin te kishin mall per njeri tjetrin
06:32
and feel disconnected,
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dhe ndjeheshin te shkeputur,
06:35
they could reconnect through this image.
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mund te rilidheshin ndermjet ketij imazhi.
06:38
I'll never forget that one girl looked in her father's eyes
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Nuk do e harroj kurre momentin kur nje nga vajzat pa syte e babait saj
06:43
with that camera and said,
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me ate kamera dhe tha,
06:45
"Daddy, when you look at me, what do you see?"
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"Babi, kur shikon mua, cfare sheh?"
06:52
Because our daddies are our mirrors
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Sepse baballaret tane jane pasqyrat tona
06:56
that we reflect back on
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qe ne i reflektojme pas
06:58
when we decide about what type of man we deserve,
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kur vendosim per tipin e mashkullit qe meritojme,
07:03
and how they see us for the rest of our lives.
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dhe se si ata na shikojne ne vazhdim te jetes tone.
07:06
I know that very well,
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E di kete shume mire,
07:10
because I was one of the lucky girls.
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sepse isha nje nga vajzat me fat.
07:12
I have had
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E kam pasur
07:18
my father in my life always.
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babain ne jeten time gjithmone.
07:24
He's even here today.
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Madje eshte edhe sot ketu.
07:26
(Applause)
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(Duartrokitje)
07:35
And that is why it is extremely special
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Dhe kjo eshte aryesja pse eshte kaq e vecante
07:39
for me to make sure that these girls
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per mua qe te sigurohem per keto vajza
07:42
are connected to their fathers,
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te jene te lidhura me baballaret e tyre,
07:45
especially those who are separated
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sidomos ato qe jane te ndara
07:48
because of barbed wires and metal doors.
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per shkak te telave me gjemba dhe dyerve metalike.
07:53
We have just created a form
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Ne thjesht kemi krijuar nje forme
07:56
for girls who have heavy questions on their heart
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per vajzat te cilat kane pyetje ne zemra e tyre
07:59
to be in a position to ask their fathers those questions
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te jene ne nje pozicion ku mund ti bejne ato pyetje tek baballaret e tyre
08:04
and given the fathers the freedom to answer.
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dhe ti japim lirine baballareve te pergjigjen.
08:08
Because we know that the fathers
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Sepse ne e dime qe baballaret
08:12
are even leaving with this one thought:
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jetojne me kete mendim:
08:15
What type of woman am I preparing to put in the world?
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Cfare tip gruaje po pergatis ta nxjerr ne bote?
08:20
Because a father is locked in
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Vetem se nje baba eshte i burgosur
08:24
does not mean he should be locked out
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nuk do te thote qe duhet te jete i perjashtuar
08:27
of his daughter's life.
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nga jeta e se bijes.
08:29
(Applause)
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(Duartrokitje)
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Angela Patton - ActivistAngela Patton is an ambassador for who she calls "at-promise" (as opposed to "at-risk") girls and a serial innovator.
Why you should listen
As the leader and CEO of Girls For A Change (GFAC), Angela Patton is committed to "preparing black girls for the world ... and the world for black Girls. Patton founded Camp Diva in Richmond, Virginia in 2004, to honor Diva Mstadi Smith-Roan, a five-year-old who died in a firearm accident earlier that year. That summer, Patton planned a two-week experience that gave Diva's mother an opportunity to share her motherly love with girls in need of a support system. The program grew and went national in October 2013, when Camp Diva merged with California-based Girls For A Change, a nonprofit through which 100 girls' groups throughout nation work together to envision and execute lasting change in their neighborhoods, cities or schools. In the summer of 2016, Patton lead her board and staff to retool the organization's focus and build a program structure to more accurately reflect GFAC's goal to work with black girls and to disseminate our programs using a specific, replicable approach.
Following the release of Patton's TED Talk describing a father-daughter dance for incarcerated dads and their "at-promise" girls, her work was featured on ABC World News, Inside Edition, NPR and This is Life Lisa Ling. She has spoken for corporations, at conferences on girls as well as colleges and universities throughout the country. When she isn't inspiring change, advocating gender equality and empowering girls, she enjoys festivals and concerts with her husband and motivator, Raymond Patton, and their loving children, Imhotep and Asani.
Angela Patton | Speaker | TED.com