Sophie Andrews: The best way to help is often just to listen
Sophie Andrews: Gyakran a hallgatás a legnagyobb segítség
Sophie Andrews is the CEO of The Silver Line, a 24-hour phone line that provides social connectivity for isolated senior citizens in the UK and receives approximately 1,500 calls per day. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
on the railway station platform.
a vasútállomás egyik peronján.
when the station toilets were opened,
kinyitottak az állomás mosdói,
and made her way over to them.
for three months, not three days.
három napja az utcán van.
just started the bleeding again.
újraindult a vérzés.
she would go to a hospital.
de semmiképpen sem ment volna kórházba.
to cover the blood.
hogy eltakarja a vért.
but was past caring.
de már nem érdekelte.
she could think of doing.
and into a phone box nearby.
és egy közeli telefonfülkébe ment.
You sound very upset.
How old are you?
Mennyi idős vagy?
to make you so upset?
Every day I wake up and wish I was dead.
Minden reggel felkelek, és ezt kívánom.
I want to do it myself.
magam szeretném megtenni.
ask the girl about herself.
tovább kérdezgette a lányt.
there were lots of silences.
sokszor volt csend.
felt so comforting.
that made that call was me.
sleeping rough on the streets in London.
és London utcáin aludtam.
by my father and his friends.
I was suicidal.
Öngyilkos hajlamú voltam.
I was 12 and absolutely desperate.
12 éves és elkeseredett voltam.
my mother had deserted me,
hogy anyám kilépett az életemből,
at the hands of my father and his friends
elszenvedett zaklatás
helpline in the UK
az Egyesült Királyságban azoknak,
desperate or suicidal.
vagy életüknek véget vetnének.
around the clock every day of the year,
when I was most desperate,
found my story, they never showed it.
and listened without judgment.
és ítélkezés nélkül hallgattak végig.
encouraged me to get help;
kérjek segítséget.
in every other aspect of my life.
éreztem magam az életben.
was probably the only area
some control in my life.
az irányítást életemben.
with what had happened.
rather than a victim.
to become a volunteer.
that had really saved my life.
in an empathetic way
listening to me without judgment
to give me a job,
hogy munkát adjon,
at Samaritans.
a Szamaritánusoknál.
it's an odd word to use,
to think of anyone
of that listening ear
at that desperate time
állt elkeseredésem idején
as a Samaritan.
I was asked to perform many roles.
sokféle szerepre kértek fel.
the organization for three years.
szervezeti elnökségre kértek fel.
from that vulnerable caller
for the organization
screwed up as a caller,
profizmus uralta világban érthető,
by professionalizing everything we do,
that that simple act of listening
across all areas of life.
no one wanted to talk about.
senki sem akart beszélni.
victims were often judged.
hibáztatták, őket ítélték el.
and no one really wanted to talk about it.
amiről senki sem akart beszélni.
surround a different issue.
egy másik kérdésben jellemző.
that's out there.
is to talk about loneliness.
beszédet bélyegezzük meg.
have profound health impacts.
komoly egészségügyi hatásai vannak.
on your own well-being.
van közérzetünkre.
felülvizsgálatai szerint
the mortality rates,
higher levels of depression,
súlyosabb depresszióhoz vezethet,
with alcohol abuse or smoking cigarettes.
kapcsolódó halálozásokéval vetekszik.
that smoking 15 cigarettes.
with higher levels of dementia.
of Alzheimer's disease.
dupla esélyük van Alzheimer-kórra.
that live alone who are not lonely.
akik mégse magányosak.
that maybe has dementia
a very good, clear definition
és egyértelműen meghatározta,
unwelcome feeling
elvesztésének szubjektív,
minősége és mennyisége
of relationships that we have
I've ever received
in an empathetic way.
I'm speaking to a room of professionals,
van belőlük itt most –
giving up their time
aki feláldozza idejét,
in a confidential way,
bizalmasan hallgasson meg,
life-changing effect for me.
that really stayed with me.
in my teenage years,
a vasútnál voltam minden nap,
wondering if I'd even live the next day.
önkéntes hatása maradandó volt.
listening to me stayed with me.
with what had happened,
in a transforming way
volunteering with Samaritans.
munkával a Szamaritánusoknál.
and the new stigma of loneliness,
helpline in the UK for older people,
számára az Egyesült Királyságban
lonely and isolated older people.
időseket támogatja.
we've taken 1.5 million calls.
eddig 1,5 millió hívás érkezett.
based on the feedback we get every day.
a mindennapos visszajelzések alapján.
for a friendly chat,
about local services.
a helyi szolgáltatásokról.
because they're suicidal.
because they're reporting abuse.
may have simply just given up on life.
feladták az életet, ahogy én tettem.
setting up a helpline.
of chief exec, but in the early days,
viseltem, ahogy ma is –
the best meetings ever in my career --
legjobb értekezletei voltak –
és most, 2017-ben,
listening to older people
az év minden napján, éjjel-nappal.
making weekly friendship calls
akik hetente baráti hívást indítanak
that like the written word,
and we write pen-pal letters
az azt máig kedvelő időseknek.
receiving a letter.
something called Silver Circles --
azaz Ezüst Köröket is.
the word "silver" here --
talk about shared interests.
play musical instruments
desperation, loneliness and isolation.
magányról és elszigeteltségről,
you would also hear laughter.
nevetést is hallanak.
the wonderful lives of older people
az idősek nagyszerű életét
just a snippet of one of our calls.
egy részletet az egyik hívásból.
you're through to the Silver Line.
the telephone is, you know?
a telefon, tudja?
invention, isn't it?
when I was a little girl,
a phone call to somebody,
and have your phone call.
aztán telefonálni.
just whenever you fancied.
to the absolute essentials.
in my dressing gown still,
és pongyolában telefonálok.
isn't it wonderful?
we might receive at our helpline.
hívás a segélyvonalon.
as part of the family.
are now helping older people
that Samaritans has helped me.
they're listening confidentially
bizalmasan meghallgatnak,
without giving advice?
anélkül hogy tanácsot adnánk?
an older person would say,
"Thank you for your advice,"
"Köszönöm a tanácsát!",
and we haven't interrupted.
nem szóltunk bele.
maybe we have given advice.
talán adtunk tanácsot.
a survey at The Silver Line
what they thought of the service.
mit gondol a szolgáltatásról.
came back and said,
in the sport cricket a wicketkeeper,
in baseball, a catcher.
and I'm talking American.
és amerikaiul beszélek.
when I get home.
amikor hazamegyek.
she had that catcher,
because actually,
and needing a catcher
és kapusra van szükségük,
by putting something back
és visszaadnak valamit.
and becoming part of our family.
és a családunk részeivé válnak.
talking about my own personal experience.
a saját tapasztalatommal.
I often say that I've been lucky.
sokszor azt mondom, szerencsém volt.
at every stage of my life,
alongside me at the right time
kicsit jobban hinni magamban,
in myself, which has been so important.
at some point in their lives.
van egy kapusra valamikor életében.
in the phone box, over 30 years ago.
30 évvel ezelőtt.
the power of a simple human connection.
az egyszerű emberi kapcsolatok erejét.
the power to save a life.
ami életet ment.
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Sophie Andrews - Author, helpline advocateSophie Andrews is the CEO of The Silver Line, a 24-hour phone line that provides social connectivity for isolated senior citizens in the UK and receives approximately 1,500 calls per day.
Why you should listen
Sophie Andrews's harrowing childhood experiences, documented in her 2009 autobiography, Scarred, inspired her to become a local volunteer for the suicide prevention line Samaritans over 25 years ago, and she later served as the organization's national chairman for three years. Andrews makes regular appearances as a motivational speaker before a variety of audiences, giving talks about her life experiences and the importance of charity work.
Sophie Andrews | Speaker | TED.com