Sophie Andrews: The best way to help is often just to listen
Софи Ендруз (Sophie Andrews): Често је најбоља помоћ слушање
Sophie Andrews is the CEO of The Silver Line, a 24-hour phone line that provides social connectivity for isolated senior citizens in the UK and receives approximately 1,500 calls per day. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
on the railway station platform.
на перону железничке станице.
when the station toilets were opened,
тоалети на станици,
and made her way over to them.
и отишла у један.
for three months, not three days.
на улици, а не само три дана.
just started the bleeding again.
поново су почеле да крваре.
she would go to a hospital.
али никако није хтела у болницу.
to cover the blood.
but was past caring.
али је није било брига.
she could think of doing.
да уради само једну ствар.
and into a phone box nearby.
и ушла у оближњу говорницу.
Могу ли да вам помогнем?
You sound very upset.
How old are you?
Колико имате година?
to make you so upset?
Every day I wake up and wish I was dead.
пожелим да сам мртва.
I want to do it myself.
да желим сама то да учиним.
ask the girl about herself.
лагано да испитује девојку.
there were lots of silences.
било је доста тишине.
на другом крају телефона
felt so comforting.
that made that call was me.
која је звала сам била ја.
sleeping rough on the streets in London.
спавати на улицама Лондона.
by my father and his friends.
отац и његови пријатељи.
I was suicidal.
Била сам суицидна.
I was 12 and absolutely desperate.
имала сам 12 година и била потпуно очајна.
my mother had deserted me,
пошто ме је мајка напустила,
at the hands of my father and his friends
од оца и његових пријатеља
helpline in the UK
24 сата дневно, 7 дана недељно у УК,
desperate or suicidal.
очајно или суицидно.
around the clock every day of the year,
сваког часа у дану, целе године,
when I was most desperate,
кад сам била најочајнија,
found my story, they never showed it.
никад то нису показали.
and listened without judgment.
и слушали без осуђивања.
encouraged me to get help;
да потражим помоћ.
in every other aspect of my life.
контролу над својим животом.
was probably the only area
вероватно било једино подручје
some control in my life.
да некако контролишем свој живот.
with what had happened.
да живим са прошлошћу.
rather than a victim.
жртва злостављања, ја сам преживела.
кад сам имала 21 годину.
to become a volunteer.
да будем волонтерка.
that had really saved my life.
заиста спасила живот.
in an empathetic way
саосећајног слушања
listening to me without judgment
to give me a job,
наговорила да ме запосли
at Samaritans.
за Самарићане.
it's an odd word to use,
to think of anyone
да размишља о некоме
of that listening ear
at that desperate time
у том очајном периоду
as a Samaritan.
као Самарићанин.
I was asked to perform many roles.
имала сам многе улоге.
the organization for three years.
наредне три године.
from that vulnerable caller
рањивог позиваоца,
for the organization
ове организације
screwed up as a caller,
by professionalizing everything we do,
професионализацији у свему,
that that simple act of listening
across all areas of life.
позвала Самарићане,
no one wanted to talk about.
о злостављању деце.
victims were often judged.
and no one really wanted to talk about it.
и нико није хтео да прича о томе.
surround a different issue.
неких других ствари.
that's out there.
is to talk about loneliness.
have profound health impacts.
најдубље утичу на здравље.
on your own well-being.
the mortality rates,
higher levels of depression,
до виших степена депресије,
with alcohol abuse or smoking cigarettes.
алкохола и пушењем.
that smoking 15 cigarettes.
од 15 попушених цигарета.
with higher levels of dementia.
of Alzheimer's disease.
од Алцхајмерове болести.
that live alone who are not lonely.
који живе сами, а нису усамљени.
that maybe has dementia
a very good, clear definition
дала је јасну дефиницију усамљености.
unwelcome feeling
of relationships that we have
I've ever received
in an empathetic way.
I'm speaking to a room of professionals,
giving up their time
који је жртвовао своје време,
in a confidential way,
life-changing effect for me.
that really stayed with me.
in my teenage years,
била сам ван колосека,
wondering if I'd even live the next day.
да ли ћу преживети до наредног дана.
утицај волонтера који су ме слушали.
listening to me stayed with me.
with what had happened,
са оним што се десило,
in a transforming way
да преобликују свој живот
volunteering with Samaritans.
25 година код Самарићана.
and the new stigma of loneliness,
и нову стигму према усамљености,
helpline in the UK for older people,
за старије у Уједињеном Краљевству,
lonely and isolated older people.
и изолованим старијим људима.
we've taken 1.5 million calls.
1,5 милиона позива.
based on the feedback we get every day.
свакодневних повратних информација.
for a friendly chat,
због пријатељског разговора,
about local services.
о локалним услугама.
because they're suicidal.
because they're reporting abuse.
may have simply just given up on life.
можда једноставно одустали од живота.
setting up a helpline.
линије за помоћ једноставна идеја.
of chief exec, but in the early days,
коју имам и даље, извршни директор,
извршни директор себе.
the best meetings ever in my career --
имала најбоље састанке у каријери -
и сад, у 2017. години,
listening to older people
који слушају старије људе,
making weekly friendship calls
који недељно извршавају пријатељске позиве
that like the written word,
and we write pen-pal letters
и пишемо писма старијим људима
receiving a letter.
something called Silver Circles --
што зовемо Сребрним круговима -
присвојила реч „сребрно” -
the word "silver" here --
конференцијски позиви
о заједничким интересима.
talk about shared interests.
play musical instruments
људи свирају инструменте
desperation, loneliness and isolation.
усамљености и изолацији.
you would also hear laughter.
код нас, чули бисте и смех.
the wonderful lives of older people
дивне животе старијих људи
just a snippet of one of our calls.
део једног нашег позива.
you're through to the Silver Line.
добили сте Сребрну линију.
the telephone is, you know?
invention, isn't it?
when I was a little girl,
a phone call to somebody,
да позовете телефоном,
and have your phone call.
и онда телефонирате.
just whenever you fancied.
кад год сте то хтели.
to the absolute essentials.
на основне ствари.
in my dressing gown still,
још увек у кућној хаљини,
isn't it wonderful?
we might receive at our helpline.
as part of the family.
are now helping older people
that Samaritans has helped me.
Самарићани помогли мени.
they're listening confidentially
without giving advice?
без давања савета?
an older person would say,
старија особа рекла:
„Хвала на савету“,
"Thank you for your advice,"
and we haven't interrupted.
maybe we have given advice.
a survey at The Silver Line
истраживање у Сребрној линији
what they thought of the service.
шта мисле о нашој услузи.
came back and said,
in the sport cricket a wicketkeeper,
in baseball, a catcher.
and I'm talking American.
when I get home.
she had that catcher,
она је имала хватача,
because actually,
и потребан им је хватач
and needing a catcher
by putting something back
and becoming part of our family.
talking about my own personal experience.
својим личним искуством.
I often say that I've been lucky.
често кажем да сам имала среће.
at every stage of my life,
alongside me at the right time
поред себе у право време
in myself, which has been so important.
што је веома важно.
at some point in their lives.
у животу потребан хватач.
из оне говорнице,
in the phone box, over 30 years ago.
пре више од 30 година.
једноставне људске везе.
the power of a simple human connection.
the power to save a life.
моћ да спасе живот.
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Sophie Andrews - Author, helpline advocateSophie Andrews is the CEO of The Silver Line, a 24-hour phone line that provides social connectivity for isolated senior citizens in the UK and receives approximately 1,500 calls per day.
Why you should listen
Sophie Andrews's harrowing childhood experiences, documented in her 2009 autobiography, Scarred, inspired her to become a local volunteer for the suicide prevention line Samaritans over 25 years ago, and she later served as the organization's national chairman for three years. Andrews makes regular appearances as a motivational speaker before a variety of audiences, giving talks about her life experiences and the importance of charity work.
Sophie Andrews | Speaker | TED.com