Sophie Andrews: The best way to help is often just to listen
Софи Эндрюс: Лучший способ помочь зачастую означает просто выслушать
Sophie Andrews is the CEO of The Silver Line, a 24-hour phone line that provides social connectivity for isolated senior citizens in the UK and receives approximately 1,500 calls per day. Full bio
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on the railway station platform.
в тревожный сон на вокзале.
when the station toilets were opened,
and made her way over to them.
for three months, not three days.
на улице три месяца, а не три дня.
just started the bleeding again.
вызывало кровотечение.
she would go to a hospital.
но ей нельзя в больницу.
to cover the blood.
от посторонних глаз.
but was past caring.
но ей уже всё равно.
she could think of doing.
and into a phone box nearby.
в ближайший таксофон.
чем я могу помочь?
You sound very upset.
Почему ты плачешь?
How old are you?
to make you so upset?
из-за чего ты так расстроилась?
Every day I wake up and wish I was dead.
Каждый день, просыпаясь, я хочу умереть.
I want to do it myself.
то я сама это сделаю.
ask the girl about herself.
пыталась её разговорить.
there were lots of silences.
felt so comforting.
на другом конце провода.
that made that call was me.
sleeping rough on the streets in London.
by my father and his friends.
I was suicidal.
Хотела покончить с собой.
I was 12 and absolutely desperate.
«Самаритянам» в 12 лет.
до этого моя мать предала меня,
my mother had deserted me,
at the hands of my father and his friends
со стороны отца и его друзей,
helpline in the UK
desperate or suicidal.
и думает о самоубийстве.
around the clock every day of the year,
круглосуточно каждый день круглый год,
when I was most desperate,
когда я была в отчаянии,
моим спасательным кругом.
found my story, they never showed it.
and listened without judgment.
и слушали меня без осуждения.
encouraged me to get help;
in every other aspect of my life.
was probably the only area
что я могла контролировать.
some control in my life.
которые поддерживали меня,
with what had happened.
rather than a victim.
вышла на связь с «Самаритянами».
to become a volunteer.
that had really saved my life.
in an empathetic way
listening to me without judgment
to give me a job,
at Samaritans.
от волонтёрской работы.
it's an odd word to use,
to think of anyone
of that listening ear
at that desperate time
as a Samaritan.
работая в «Самаритянах».
I was asked to perform many roles.
меня просили о разном.
the organization for three years.
возглавить организацию на три года.
from that vulnerable caller
for the organization
за 22 тысячи волонтёров.
screwed up as a caller,
тебе совсем хреново,
by professionalizing everything we do,
проникает во всё, что мы делаем,
that that simple act of listening
быть услышанным
что это изменит всю жизнь.
across all areas of life.
когда я позвонила «Самаритянам»,
no one wanted to talk about.
victims were often judged.
and no one really wanted to talk about it.
эту «постыдную» тему.
surround a different issue.
к осуждению и стыду изменилось.
that's out there.
is to talk about loneliness.
это разговоры об одиночестве.
have profound health impacts.
on your own well-being.
исследований
the mortality rates,
уровень смертности
higher levels of depression,
повышенного давления, депрессии,
with alcohol abuse or smoking cigarettes.
злоупотреблением алкоголем или курением.
that smoking 15 cigarettes.
with higher levels of dementia.
с повышенным риском слабоумия.
of Alzheimer's disease.
that live alone who are not lonely.
которые живут одни, — не одиноки.
that maybe has dementia
a very good, clear definition
unwelcome feeling
нежелательное чувство потери
of relationships that we have
I've ever received
подобные личные связи
in an empathetic way.
I'm speaking to a room of professionals,
присутствующие — профессионалы,
giving up their time
in a confidential way,
life-changing effect for me.
that really stayed with me.
in my teenage years,
wondering if I'd even live the next day.
уверенность в завтрашнем дне.
listening to me stayed with me.
и осталась со мной навсегда.
with what had happened,
in a transforming way
volunteering with Samaritans.
волонтёром с «Самаритянами».
and the new stigma of loneliness,
helpline in the UK for older people,
доверия в Великобритании
lonely and isolated older people.
we've taken 1.5 million calls.
было принято 1,5 миллиона звонков.
based on the feedback we get every day.
мы оказываем значительное влияние.
for a friendly chat,
about local services.
because they're suicidal.
кто находится на грани суицида.
because they're reporting abuse.
о жестоком обращении.
may have simply just given up on life.
просто хотят уйти из этой жизни.
setting up a helpline.
очень простая идея.
of chief exec, but in the early days,
исполнительного директора,
своим собственным директором.
the best meetings ever in my career --
совещания за всю мою карьеру,
у нас более 200 сотрудников,
listening to older people
24 часа в сутки семь дней в неделю.
making weekly friendship calls
that like the written word,
and we write pen-pal letters
receiving a letter.
людьми в привычном им формате.
something called Silver Circles --
the word "silver" here --
на слове «серебряный»?
и это будет означать, что это мы.
это групповые звонки,
talk about shared interests.
play musical instruments
desperation, loneliness and isolation.
одиночестве и изоляции.
you would also hear laughter.
в Великобритании, вы тоже услышите смех.
the wonderful lives of older people
и уважать весь тот опыт,
just a snippet of one of our calls.
на «Серебряную линию».
you're through to the Silver Line.
the telephone is, you know?
invention, isn't it?
when I was a little girl,
a phone call to somebody,
and have your phone call.
just whenever you fancied.
когда тебе захочется.
to the absolute essentials.
только в крайних случаях.
in my dressing gown still,
isn't it wonderful?
разве это не замечательно?
we might receive at our helpline.
as part of the family.
are now helping older people
помогает пожилым так же,
that Samaritans has helped me.
they're listening confidentially
семь дней в неделю,
не дают никаких советов.
without giving advice?
an older person would say,
"Thank you for your advice,"
and we haven't interrupted.
maybe we have given advice.
a survey at The Silver Line
среди 3 000 пожилых людей,
what they thought of the service.
о «Серебряной линии».
came back and said,
in the sport cricket a wicketkeeper,
in baseball, a catcher.
американских выражений.
and I'm talking American.
when I get home.
когда я вернусь домой.
she had that catcher,
появился такой кэтчер,
because actually,
and needing a catcher
в поисках «кэтчера»,
by putting something back
and becoming part of our family.
становятся частью нашей семьи.
talking about my own personal experience.
на своём личном опыте.
I often say that I've been lucky.
я говорю, что мне повезло.
at every stage of my life,
alongside me at the right time
кто-то в нужное время,
in myself, which has been so important.
и это очень важно.
at some point in their lives.
in the phone box, over 30 years ago.
the power of a simple human connection.
простого человеческого общения.
но зачастую так и делает — спасает жизни.
the power to save a life.
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Sophie Andrews - Author, helpline advocateSophie Andrews is the CEO of The Silver Line, a 24-hour phone line that provides social connectivity for isolated senior citizens in the UK and receives approximately 1,500 calls per day.
Why you should listen
Sophie Andrews's harrowing childhood experiences, documented in her 2009 autobiography, Scarred, inspired her to become a local volunteer for the suicide prevention line Samaritans over 25 years ago, and she later served as the organization's national chairman for three years. Andrews makes regular appearances as a motivational speaker before a variety of audiences, giving talks about her life experiences and the importance of charity work.
Sophie Andrews | Speaker | TED.com