Sue Jaye Johnson: What we don't teach kids about sex
Sue Jaye Johnson: O que não ensinamos aos nossos filhos sobre sexo
TED Resident Sue Jaye Johnson explores the ways cultural expectations shape our public and private behavior. Full bio
Double-click the English transcript below to play the video.
brushing my hair when I was a child.
o meu cabelo quando eu era criança.
with a fine-bristled brush.
com uma escova de cerdas finas.
that you can feel in your body right now?
que consigam sentir no vosso corpo agora?
é como aprendemos
in the world -- through touch.
através do toque.
the hands, on the skin.
para as mãos, para a pele.
experience love.
o amor pela primeira vez.
to have healthy intimate relationships.
para ter relações íntimas saudáveis.
is we teach our children about sex.
na escola para ensinar o básico.
para preencher as lacunas,
about biology and mechanics,
sobre a biologia e o funcionamento,
that sex is pretty much all about.
crescem a pensar que sexo é só isso.
about pleasure and desire,
e filhas sobre o prazer e o desejo,
to be present in their body
no seu próprio corpo
that we model touch, play,
como tocamos, brincamos,
as suas sensações.
not just about sex,
os nossos filhos a sensualidade.
that I needed as a girl.
de que eu precisava em miúda.
com o meu corpo em mudança
me colocavam de parte
for what I was experiencing;
por que estava a passar,
I could at the time
que podia ter feito na altura
apenas os sentimentos complicados,
just the difficult feelings,
the pleasure, the play,
ao prazer, às brincadeiras
what it meant to be a grown-up.
o que significava ser um adulto.
about their relationship to sex
acerca da sua relação com o sexo
que eram demasiado sensíveis.
they were too sensitive, too much.
"não sejas tão sentimental".
a desligar-me de tudo.
of how much I used to feel.
o quanto eu costumava sentir.
"Day at the beach with the girls."
"Dia na praia com as miúdas".
just out of reach of the surf
fora do alcance das ondas do "surf"
drizzling sand on her arm like this,
areia no braço dela, assim,
of sand on her skin
as cócegas suaves da areia na pele dela
a escovar o meu cabelo.
and then her legs.
e depois nas pernas.
"Hey, you want me to bury you?"
"Ei, queres que eu te enterre?"
and she was like, "Yeah!"
e ela exclamou: "Sim!"
and lathered her up in the shower
e ensaboei-a no chuveiro,
that I was creating for her?"
numa linha de produção de crianças,
like she was on some assembly line
and put to bed.
e metidas na cama.
com uma toalha, de forma carinhosa,
in a towel tenderly the way a lover would,
to expect that kind of touch.
a esperar esse tipo de toque.
about intimacy.
a ensiná-la acerca da intimidade.
and respect her body.
e respeitar o seu próprio corpo.
that can't be conveyed in words.
não se podem transmitir em palavras.
on their partner's pleasure,
no prazer do seu parceiro,
with my girls when they're older,
as minhas filhas quando chegar a idade
a identificar o que lhes dá prazer
identify what gives them pleasure
diz a minha filha enquanto a aconchego.
when I tuck her in.
to rub your back?"
que te esfregue as tuas costas?"
das instruções dela.
"Para cima e para a direita,
"OK, up and to the right,
com mais força."
how to articulate their sensations
a expressar as suas sensações,
with my girls at home to do this.
para fazer isso.
on my daughter's arm and say,
com as unhas e digo:
to tell them how I'm feeling,
para lhes dizer como me sinto,
para termos uma linguagem comum
means I'm nervous and I'm excited.
e entusiasmada.
in response to me.
sensações em resposta a mim.
is to judge these reactions
in this binary culture
numa cultura binária
to sort the world into good and bad.
a classificar o mundo em bom e mau.
notice about that story?"
acerca dessa história?"
and curious about their experiences,
e curiosas sobre as suas experiências,
without checking out --
com as sensações sem se desligarem,
and challenging ones --
para as minhas filhas.
o que eu precisava enquanto garota.
as nossas crianças.
com os nossos filhos
in turn remind our children
relembrar aos nossos filhos
ABOUT THE SPEAKER
Sue Jaye Johnson - Journalist, filmmaker, writerTED Resident Sue Jaye Johnson explores the ways cultural expectations shape our public and private behavior.
Why you should listen
Working across mediums, from radio, film, print and interactive media, Sue Jaye Johnson has investigated the US criminal justice system, women in sports, the legacy of apartheid and girls in South Africa. As a TED Resident, she is examining our current relationship with pleasure and sex through intimate interviews with people from all walks of life asking what they believe about sex and why. She is working on a book about rethinking how we talk about sexuality and sensuality fostered by this series of interviews.
Jaye is a two-time Peabody-winner and recipient of a Creative Capital award for her pioneering interactive documentary about US prisons. Her first feature film, T-Rex (PBS, Netflix) followed 17-year-old boxer Claressa Shields from Flint, Michigan to the gold medal at the London Olympics. Her work has been broadcast on PBS, NPR, WNY and published in the New York Times and The Washington Post.
She studied visual arts at Harvard University and interactive telecommunications at New York University. She lives in New York City with radio producer and frequent collaborator Joe Richman and their two daughters.
Sue Jaye Johnson | Speaker | TED.com